Good Story Ruined by Inattention From the Author
Look, the storyline itself and the characters were all good. What ruined it and dropped it from five stars to three was M.S. Parker's inability to remember what she'd already written and stick to the facts she'd already established. And, of course, as always, errors that would've been caught by an editor if she'd bothered to use one (or a decent one, at least).
Also, in the information about this book on Amazon, it says the book is 208 pages long, but in actuality, it's barely even 200. The 200th page has a few sentences on it before the book ends, which is why I say it's barely 200 pages. Why she lied about the length of the book, or more than likely, based on everything I'm about to discuss, she forgot, is beyond me, but either way, it's irritating.
*SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT*
At the end of this book, M.S. Parker includes a lengthy excerpt from the 2nd book in this series. This is where the glaring inconsistencies become apparent. Since she decided to include the excerpt from book two, I'll be discussing it in this review as it pertains to the details in this book. There are quite a few inconsistencies and they effect what happens from book to book enough that I seriously began to wonder if two separate people authored the books. Either a significant amount of time passed in between the writing of the two books, or M.S. Parker just doesn't care enough about her stories or putting out a quality product for her readers enough to pay attention. Let's dig into it.
In The Billionaire's Sub (which shall heretofore be referred to as 'TBS'), it was said that Cross' parents died in a car crash, but in the excerpt for book two, it's suddenly changed to a plane crash.
At the end of 'TBS,' Cross asks Hanna to move in with him and she accepts. He even tells her he wanted to ask her the day he collared her, but because of what Juliette was going through with the trial, he knew the sisters needed each other, so he'd waited till the trial was over. Yet in the excerpt for book two, it says she still lives with Juliette. What the what? And it's not an inconsequential thing either. It has quite the impact on many things that happen in the story. Now, giving M.S. Parker the benefit of the doubt, it is possible that for some reason, she decided to make Hanna change her mind and decide to stay with her sister. But If you're going to have a character change her mind on something this major that affects the story quite a lot going forward, you HAVE to address it for your readers! Somewhere within the first few pages of the book, you need to explain that Hanna has changed her mind because you literally ended thing in 'TBS' with her accepting Cross' invitation to move in with him, but open book two with them living separately! It's confusing and irritating, to say the least. It also makes it hard to trust anything the author tells us throughout the books because who knows if they really happened if she just changes them willy nilly!
During the very first sex scene in the excerpt from book two, Cross starts to give Hanna a rim job, and she thinks to herself that Cross had talked to her about wanting to do this, but up until just then, it had only been talk and hadn't happened, so she was kind of surprised. However, in 'TBS,' the night before Juliette is found, Cross not only gives Hanna a rim job, they actually go on to have an*l s*x!
In the excerpt from book two, Hanna and Juliette are talking about Hanna's fears that Cross doesn't want or see a future with them and she actually says, "...it's not like I'm asking to move in with him..." except HE asked HER to move in with HIM and she said YES in 'TBS'! If things had been kept consistent from book to book, this conversation wouldn't even have happened because Hanna would know Cross is serious about their future because he DID, in fact, ask her to move in with him and she freaking said yes! It's so irritating that M.S. Parker just acts like book one never even happened! It really breaks me out of being immersed in the story when things aren't kept consistent!
And finally, after Cross and Hanna have a fight in the excerpt from book two, Cross is at the club wallowing in self pity when another Domme and her sub approach him to say hi. This is a couple we met in 'TBS,' Miranda and Jason. He's been referred to as Jason numerous times, then all of a sudden it switches to Paul (all within the same few pages) before switching back to Jason again! So not only can't M.S. Parker remember what she's written from book to book, she can't even remember what she's written just a page ago! Seriously, where is the editor in these books? It's really just inexcusable! Especially when you're asking people to pay money to read your books!