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I Am Living With an Idiot
Vena Anderson, a nineteen year old girl has moved away from home to attend college. She has no desire to live in a small dorm room and having to live with a complete stranger, so living in an apartment for her college years is her next option. The only flaw in her plan is that she can't afford it without a roommate. Vena has lived in this apartment all through the past year and just as the new school year is right around the corner, the landlord decided that she would raise the rent.
James Hendersom, a nineteen year old guy has been recently kicked out of his dorm for smoking cigarettes. He now has been living with his parents until he can find a place of his own. He has been searching and searching for the past week and could not find anything, until just a few days ago.
James was looking through the ads, again and one popped out more than all the others sitting on that plain webpage: "Looking for roommate. Contact Vena Anderson for further information"
Book One of the 'I Am Living With An Idiot' series.
James Hendersom, a nineteen year old guy has been recently kicked out of his dorm for smoking cigarettes. He now has been living with his parents until he can find a place of his own. He has been searching and searching for the past week and could not find anything, until just a few days ago.
James was looking through the ads, again and one popped out more than all the others sitting on that plain webpage: "Looking for roommate. Contact Vena Anderson for further information"
Book One of the 'I Am Living With An Idiot' series.
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About the author
Bright White Snow
2 books3 followersHi, my name is Hailey, but I usually go by BrightWhiteSnow. I've been writing for so long, I can't give you a set amount of years. It seems like writing has become my entire life, which doesn't seem to consist of much anyway. Anyways, like most writers, when I'm not writing, I'm reading.
I don't have very much to tell you about myself, considering the fact that most of my identity has been kept a secret. I
have been writing the I Am Living With an Idiot series for close to four years now and I'm currently in the middle of fixing up the disaster, I like to call the first book. Once I finish the first book, I plan to repost it on Wattpad and y'know, try and cover up my mistakes.
I appreciate any comment on my profile, whether it be constructive criticism, or a nice message, I'll appreciate it.
Anyways, I'm on Wattpad too, well, that's where I came from, but there a bit more of me on my profile on there.
—BWS❄️ (Hailey)
I don't have very much to tell you about myself, considering the fact that most of my identity has been kept a secret. I
have been writing the I Am Living With an Idiot series for close to four years now and I'm currently in the middle of fixing up the disaster, I like to call the first book. Once I finish the first book, I plan to repost it on Wattpad and y'know, try and cover up my mistakes.
I appreciate any comment on my profile, whether it be constructive criticism, or a nice message, I'll appreciate it.
Anyways, I'm on Wattpad too, well, that's where I came from, but there a bit more of me on my profile on there.
—BWS❄️ (Hailey)
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Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews
August 16, 2017
I have a few problems with this story. I had to force myself to finish it. At first, it just started out as little annoyances with the story. But by the end of it, I was just irritated at the entire thing.
As far as writing problems go, it’s awkward. The writing is just awkward. It doesn’t flow very well. Over half the sentences are choppy or run ons. The wording of things are awkward and unnecessary. “I hand unbuckled my seatbelt.” How else are you going to unbuckle the seatbelt. “Hand unbuckled” is just you pointlessly adding words. Then, over half the chapters are just fillers. There’s no advancing of the plot. If the chapter doesn’t move forward the main plot or a subplot, it’s not necessary. I’m not saying you can’t add that scene yet, but something else needs to be happening in the chapter. The entire book needs editing. When I made that note on my phone, the next chapter I had found out that the chapters that I had just read were edited. It was bad editing. If it was edited I shouldn’t still be finding problems in your spelling. Lastly, as far as writing problems go, the plot is confusing and unclear. Is there a plot? Is there a point to all of this? I couldn’t find one. What is their goal? Even if there is a sequel (and there is to this story) the first book still needs to have a climax. I didn’t see one.
Now, I got some character and actual ‘plot’ problems. Of what’s there of a ‘plot’ it’s not very well developed. It doesn’t seem like there was any planning to what was supposed to be happening. I’ll just go in order of the problems from my list.
1. If someone is constantly calling or texting you and you don’t want to talk to them, block them. It’s simple. Vena doesn’t apparently know that exists and spends a lot of time complaining that her ex-boyfriend is calling and texting her.
2. Vena and James relationship isn’t believable. It’s just whatever is convenient at the time. “Oh, I want them to hate each other right now, so they do.” Two seconds later, “Oh, I want them to get along, so they do.” There was no rhyme or reason as to why they suddenly didn’t get along, or why they were suddenly fine.
3. Vena claims James doesn’t care about her or anything, but he literally does everything. He literally was doing all the cooking, brought her out to dinner/lunch, helped her when she was having a nightmare, did the shopping, etc. But he doesn’t care?
4. The “sarcasm” isn’t really sarcasm, and if that counts as sarcasm nowadays it fucking sucks. It’s generic as fuck. “What’s up?” “the sky” is pretty much the level it’s on. That’s not sarcasm.
5. Vena is a fucking hypocrite. She breaks all, ALL, the rules her and James set up in the beginning, but she complains about James inviting people over. He lives there too. He doesn’t bitch when you invite your friend over all the time without asking him first.
6. Vena is obsessed with revenge. She wants to get revenge over stupid shit. “Oh James invited some people over. I’ll steal his phone charger and 12 sets of his Ray Bans.” (Who owns 12 sets of Ray Bans in the first place?) Who does petty shit like this?
7. Vena is a shit friend. She is literally the shittest “best friend” is history. Her “best friend’s” sister dies in a plane crash and her response is to tell him to “just get over it”. His sister just fucking died. He has to fucking grieve. What kind of friend says this shit? Drop that bitch because she’s no friend.
8. Sex/intimate scenes are awkward. They’re written awkwardly. It’s like 13 year old wrote it. (The author may be 13 I don’t know.) It was worded awkwardly. If you’re going to write sex scenes at least make them good and less like a 13 year old is writing them. I don’t care if you’re a virgin, it still shouldn’t be as awkward as the scenes were.
9. Apparently, people HAVE to be on the same intelligence level to date. I was unaware of that unwritten rule. Just because someone isn’t as smart as you it means they’re not good enough to date you. Just as PSA for you guys.
10. James and Vena’s relationship is just about sex. It really did just become about them having sex (and it was awkwardly written sex like I mentioned). At one point, James gets made that Vena doesn’t want to have sex with him. Red fucking flag! If someone gets mad at you because you won’t have sex with them, fucking leave. Literally, all this couple did was 3 things: have sex, sleep, and fight.
As far as writing problems go, it’s awkward. The writing is just awkward. It doesn’t flow very well. Over half the sentences are choppy or run ons. The wording of things are awkward and unnecessary. “I hand unbuckled my seatbelt.” How else are you going to unbuckle the seatbelt. “Hand unbuckled” is just you pointlessly adding words. Then, over half the chapters are just fillers. There’s no advancing of the plot. If the chapter doesn’t move forward the main plot or a subplot, it’s not necessary. I’m not saying you can’t add that scene yet, but something else needs to be happening in the chapter. The entire book needs editing. When I made that note on my phone, the next chapter I had found out that the chapters that I had just read were edited. It was bad editing. If it was edited I shouldn’t still be finding problems in your spelling. Lastly, as far as writing problems go, the plot is confusing and unclear. Is there a plot? Is there a point to all of this? I couldn’t find one. What is their goal? Even if there is a sequel (and there is to this story) the first book still needs to have a climax. I didn’t see one.
Now, I got some character and actual ‘plot’ problems. Of what’s there of a ‘plot’ it’s not very well developed. It doesn’t seem like there was any planning to what was supposed to be happening. I’ll just go in order of the problems from my list.
1. If someone is constantly calling or texting you and you don’t want to talk to them, block them. It’s simple. Vena doesn’t apparently know that exists and spends a lot of time complaining that her ex-boyfriend is calling and texting her.
2. Vena and James relationship isn’t believable. It’s just whatever is convenient at the time. “Oh, I want them to hate each other right now, so they do.” Two seconds later, “Oh, I want them to get along, so they do.” There was no rhyme or reason as to why they suddenly didn’t get along, or why they were suddenly fine.
3. Vena claims James doesn’t care about her or anything, but he literally does everything. He literally was doing all the cooking, brought her out to dinner/lunch, helped her when she was having a nightmare, did the shopping, etc. But he doesn’t care?
4. The “sarcasm” isn’t really sarcasm, and if that counts as sarcasm nowadays it fucking sucks. It’s generic as fuck. “What’s up?” “the sky” is pretty much the level it’s on. That’s not sarcasm.
5. Vena is a fucking hypocrite. She breaks all, ALL, the rules her and James set up in the beginning, but she complains about James inviting people over. He lives there too. He doesn’t bitch when you invite your friend over all the time without asking him first.
6. Vena is obsessed with revenge. She wants to get revenge over stupid shit. “Oh James invited some people over. I’ll steal his phone charger and 12 sets of his Ray Bans.” (Who owns 12 sets of Ray Bans in the first place?) Who does petty shit like this?
7. Vena is a shit friend. She is literally the shittest “best friend” is history. Her “best friend’s” sister dies in a plane crash and her response is to tell him to “just get over it”. His sister just fucking died. He has to fucking grieve. What kind of friend says this shit? Drop that bitch because she’s no friend.
8. Sex/intimate scenes are awkward. They’re written awkwardly. It’s like 13 year old wrote it. (The author may be 13 I don’t know.) It was worded awkwardly. If you’re going to write sex scenes at least make them good and less like a 13 year old is writing them. I don’t care if you’re a virgin, it still shouldn’t be as awkward as the scenes were.
9. Apparently, people HAVE to be on the same intelligence level to date. I was unaware of that unwritten rule. Just because someone isn’t as smart as you it means they’re not good enough to date you. Just as PSA for you guys.
10. James and Vena’s relationship is just about sex. It really did just become about them having sex (and it was awkwardly written sex like I mentioned). At one point, James gets made that Vena doesn’t want to have sex with him. Red fucking flag! If someone gets mad at you because you won’t have sex with them, fucking leave. Literally, all this couple did was 3 things: have sex, sleep, and fight.
December 10, 2023
hey actually i have started this book a long time ago and didn't have the energie to finish it. but now that i have finish it it feels akward. to be honest i didnt't love it a lot because in my mind some scenes didn't make sens.
Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews