No Cure for Cancer: A Monologue

by Denis Leary

An uproarious and lacerating meditation on life—and death—by celebrated comedian and actor Denis Leary.
 
Based on the writer-performer’s hit Off-Broadway show, this rapid-fire monologue sends up society and its ills—disease, drugs, crime, junk culture, the recovery movement, pious political correctness, urban life, and above all, our fear of mortality—with wicked satire and insight.
 
“High-octane comedy . . . terribly, angrily funny.”— The New York Times
 
"Absolutely brilliant . . . the real cutting edge of American comedy."— The Boston Globe

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Comedy, Contemporary, American, Plays, Theatre

161 pages, Paperback

First published October 16, 1992

About the author

Denis Leary is a five-time loser at the Emmy awards. And the Golden Globes. He has lost in both the drama and comedy categories. In leading and supporting roles. Not to mention writing. Leary hopes to one day be nominated for—and more than likely not win—an Oscar, a Grammy, and a Tony Award. His first literary foray Why We Suck: A Feel Good Guide to Staying Fat, Loud, Lazy and Stupid was a New York Times bestseller, but not nominated for The National Book Award. In his long and storied entertainment career, Leary has also never won The Stanley Cup, The Nobel Peace Prize, or an argument with his wife.

Photo ©Henry Leutwyler

Reviews

[Brian Costin · Rating 2 out of 5]

I loved this in the nineties when it came out. I though Denis was irreverent, shocking, and very funny. Then, in my constant research and love of standup, I discovered Bill Hicks. Bill Hicks, who died right before this came out. Bill Hicks, whose jokes flood this book. Bill Hicks, who was smarter and funnier than Leary could ever dream of being- although Denis is definitely the better actor. There are often overlaps in comedians' thoughts and hearts, and I am sure that Bill and Denis may have shared many of the very same thoughts- but to see them appear as Leary's alone beggars belief. This was practical plagiarizing in the first degree. Shame Bill died on the brink of having the comedy success of Leary. Shame Bill deserved his material being named under him. Worse shame that Leary got away with this theft with practically no publicity-worse than that- he then proceeded to have a career where he never had another decent comedy special, although he did do some okay acting work. Can't copy the dead guy. Sorry to say it, but I just think most of this is polished Hicks. Don't believe me? Go listen to all of Bill Hicks' material and then we will talk. It would be five stars were it properly credited to Bill-well maybe 4.

[Tommy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Basically, Denis' routine in writing, so the use of BOLD LETTERS to express his moments of shouting don't convey the energy and faux, but fun, anger of Leary's early stand-up.

I prefer to hear or see Denis in action. I think he was aiming for 'performance artist' status here by publishing his material a'la transcription, but it loses something in translation. This material requires Leary's attitude, voice, and manic energy to sell it. Skip the book, find the CD or DVD instead.

[Carol · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm a big Denis Leary fan ("Rescue Me" = Best. TV. Show. Ever.) but reading him isn't quite the same as seeing him. The snark doesn't fully translate to the written page. To boot, a lot of the references -- to Kitty Dukakis's drinking and CD players as the height of technology -- are way outdated since this was published in the early '90s.

Still, it's Denis Leary. And he's brilliant. I'll read/watch/buy whatever he's offering.

[starypes · Rating 3 out of 5]

Drogy, chlast, cigarety.. vela cigariet a este viac cigariet. A na konci smrt.

Rakovinu nevyléčíš!

Povodne napisane ako javiskovy monolog pre medzinarodny umelecky festival v Edinburghu, za ktory ziskal cenu kritiky aj napriek protestom z istych kruhov. Nasledne s nou vystupoval v Londyne a New Yorku.

[Andy Theyers · Rating 5 out of 5]

Genius

[Molly · Rating 3 out of 5]

Made me laugh so hard I was shaking while reading it on the subway. So much so that people around me started asking me what I was reading.

[Joe DeRouen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hilarious book, Leary at his very best.

[Garrison Kelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

With a raging wit as fiery as his lit cigarettes, Denis Leary unleashes his comic venom on a variety of topics whether it’s political correctness, war, drugs, alcohol, meat, or his own life experiences. Nobody is safe from his silver tongue and no topic is off limits. If comedy could kill, he’d have a higher body count than Henry Lee Lucas. Hell, he might already be able to pull that off with the clouds of smoke he spews into the theater. Lung cancer doesn’t faze him and nor do sensitive opinions. He’s not leaving the theater until he gets a tumor-sized load off of his chest.

In many ways, Denis Leary reminds me a lot of late-eighties, early-nineties George Carlin. They both have angry, rapid fire deliveries. They can make humor out of even the most dismal topics. They have a non-binary political agenda. Let’s not forget the most important part of this comparison: Denis Leary and George Carlin are both funny as hell. Yes, I do realize that Mr. Leary’s politically incorrect sense of humor might not survive in this day and age, but that’s exactly why it’s important for readers to delve into this book with an open mind. As long as you’re laughing, that’s all that matters. And damn, did I laugh my head off!

It would be nearly impossible for me to list off all of the jokes I found hilarious in this book, because there are so many of them. I don’t even want to give away samples of jokes, because I don’t do spoilers. But think about this for a minute: when you have a viciously angry chain-smoker onstage with an alcoholic buzz ranting and raving about sensitive topics, you know it’s going to be something special. He’s not being politically incorrect just for the hell of it either; he actually has substance to go with his style. Everything he says means something whether you agree with it or not. But even if you don’t agree with some of his talking points, you’re going to laugh anyways even if he has to die trying (which he probably will, given how much he smokes and drinks).

If it isn’t obvious by the end of the story, then there is one thing you and Denis will definitely agree on: live every day like it’s the last. You want that big ass hamburger with five patties and god knows how much cheese? Eat it! You want that energy drink that will taste like sweet tarts but feel like heart attack hell? Drink it! Cross things off your bucket list despite the fact that you’re not even close to the end yet. Hell, you might even be closer than you think, especially if you live in a fun and exciting place like New York, Denis Leary’s home state. Don’t let life pass you by. Enjoy it! Relax! Take a chance!

I’ll admit that I haven’t seen a whole lot of Denis Leary outside of “Rescue Me”, “Demolition Man”, and “Why We Suck”, but this book is a damn good introduction into what he’s really all about. Now that I’ve read the book, I’d like to see this routine performed live. I could probably hunt it down on You Tube or some other movie streaming service. I hope I laugh just as loudly as I did when I read the damn book! A passing grade will go to Denis Leary and his fiery brand of humor!

[Zuberino · Rating 3 out of 5]

What the white American male of the Baby Boomer generation thought and felt at the peak of US power, as filtered through the psyche of one profane Irish-American comedian. The daddy stuff at the end really gets to you. But before that you have to deal with the fact that a lot of Leary’s material from this supposedly legendary show was supposedly stolen straight off Bill Hicks - and when you listen to Hicks’ standup at the same time as you are picking through this book - you can see the Keith Richards stuff and the Barry Manilow stuff and the Jim Fixx stuff come back and back and not in a good way. I never did figure out which direction the plagiarism flowed and I don’t think I particularly care. Interesting for the sociological angles though. A specific time and place and mindset in the post-Reaganite phase of the world hegemon.

[Jack Herbert Christal Gattanella · Rating 4 out of 5]

Actually reading this book, which is basically the special of the same name Leary did in the early 90's, made me think he did NOT rip off Hicks as much as everyone says he does. There's extra material here of the same vein and, for me, Leary and Hicks were what I call apples and oranges growing on the same farm. They had misanthropic, fuck-you humor and insights on pop culture and life in general, but to me the big difference is in delivery - Hicks was a bit calmer, more contemplative, the moonchild of George Calin, while Leary was an Irish car-bomb going off on stage. they're both terrific, in their own ways.

Just my two cents...

[Joe · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars, really, but not enough to push it up to 4 stars. Much as I enjoy Denis Leary's aggressive insult comedy, it's very situationally specific (as all comedy is, to some extent, but his particularly so), and without some quite particular cultural reference points, a lot of his jokes would fall flat. So if you're feeling nihilistic, if ever life gets you down, then by all means get into this material. Otherwise, it's just exhausting.

[RJ · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is not a traditional book, but rather a script/transcript of a one man play, written and performed by Denis Leary. It came out over 20 years ago. Some of the topics are dated. For me, as someone who creates original content every day, the best part was getting a glimpse at the author's development as a comedian and performer. Leary seems to have that unusual quality of not caring who he offends. The priority is authenticity and originality rather than popularity.

[Ashley · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's really just so much better watching him perform.

[Jennie · Rating 3 out of 5]

The "script" version of his famous stand-up routine. I was in love with him when it came out and still kinda am. Angry Leary at his best with many jokes he has referred to over the years in other film and tv programs. Geared more toward the die hard fan or up and coming stand-up writer looking for performance pointers. Crazy cool.

[Ian · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is supposed to be genre-changing material, but reading it many years after it was written it feels a bit stale. Also there's only so much I can find funny about drug use as a non-user.

There are some good bits but I ended up skimming the last part of the book.

Hohum

[NON · Rating 2 out of 5]

I think this would have been better if I watched the performance not read it. It's funny in some separate parts but as a whole it lacked comedy.
I like Leary's sarcasm and sense of humor but this one didn't do it for me.

[Kandachamy Vijayakumaran · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hilarious is an understatement for the book. Absolutely engaging outlandish narration. If people were using this style and language to discuss things (seriously) in Parliaments, there would be no heat or damage of furniture and ego. Solutions would emerge cool!

[Kaplan · Rating 1 out of 5]

to actually read this is retarded...He did an entire stand up comedy on it. Unfortunately, I've read it.

[Traci]

laugh out loud funny!

[Vincent Eaton · Rating 3 out of 5]

Amusing in parts, from 20 years ago; written down stand-up.

[Jamie · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's just like reading the album of the video of the live show. Good fun for a long bath.

[Iuliana Naughton · Rating 2 out of 5]

it's a few years since I read this, and i remember really looking forward to it. I thought it was dreadful, maybe i just didn't get it. I love a good rant, but this was definitely not one of them.

[Rosie · Rating 3 out of 5]

funny
typical Denis Leary stuff

[Subu · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not really great...stand up comedy should never be read...lots of stuff on drugs which became a bit repetitive...this was however the first book I read on my iPad

[RONWELL · Rating 4 out of 5]

Denis, ahem...

[Rachna · Rating 2 out of 5]

Sex, drugs, and rock n' roll. Funny in parts. But there's a reason it's called stand up comedy - you're not supposed to read it.

[Tracy · Rating 1 out of 5]

just not that funny to me.

[elena bratu · Rating 3 out of 5]

A nice book. Not what i was expecting definitely. Is not a sad book and either a book about cancer, is more a funny reading about all types of things in live, told by an american comedian.

[Kaethe · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't know if I would find this so amusing now, or if I would be amused with whatever he's working on now, but at the time I thought he was brilliant.

[Dimity Hubbub · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really like Denis Leary, but a transcription of his stand-up set as a book just doesn't work and lacks any comedy.