What do you think?
Rate this book
Ask Me About Polyamory: The Best of Kimchi Cuddles
A hilarious and touching comic about polyamory, queer, and genderqueer issues. If your relationships or your gender are unconventional, you’ll find useful advice and plenty of laughs in this compilation of the wildly popular webcomic Kimchi Cuddles. Quirky, endearing and charmingly (and sometimes painfully) realistic characters, many based on real people, explore polyamory, queer and genderqueer issues. Covering practical matters like time management and serious topics like discrimination, this book unites the best of two years of Kimchi Cuddles comics, organized into a practical and entertaining guide to the real world of alternative relationships. Kimchi Cuddles is a rare mix: fearlessly true to the lives of the people it depicts yet relatable enough to entertain and inform anyone (maybe even your parents). Dealing with both lighthearted and serious subject matter, it avoids clichés and easy answers, choosing instead to give examples of different schools of thought and show the humanity behind each one. Wolf’s honesty and gift for clear explanation have made Kimchi Cuddles a hit with the most dedicated polyamorists as well as curious newcomers.
124 pages, Paperback
First published September 15, 2016
24 people are currently reading
1132 people want to read
About the author
Tikva Wolf
6 books32 followersTikva Wolf is a freelance author and illustrator focusing on the topics of healthy communication and relationship dynamics. Wolf’s work is used as an aid by therapists and educators, has been translated to several different languages, and is a part of the Kinsey Institute’s archive collection as well as the Ivy Plus Libraries Global Webcomics Archive.
Having always taken delight in making people laugh, and in doing so also unveiling hidden perspectives, Wolf uses humor as a way of encouraging others to deeply see themselves and each other. Wolf is most well-known for the webcomic Kimchi Cuddles, which draws from real life stories and experiences to spread awareness about poly, queer, and genderqueer issues. Kimchi Cuddles’ authentic vulnerability is deeply relatable to anyone regardless of relationship or sexual orientation.
Wolf is available for creative commissions as well as speaking engagements.
Having always taken delight in making people laugh, and in doing so also unveiling hidden perspectives, Wolf uses humor as a way of encouraging others to deeply see themselves and each other. Wolf is most well-known for the webcomic Kimchi Cuddles, which draws from real life stories and experiences to spread awareness about poly, queer, and genderqueer issues. Kimchi Cuddles’ authentic vulnerability is deeply relatable to anyone regardless of relationship or sexual orientation.
Wolf is available for creative commissions as well as speaking engagements.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 131 reviews
April 6, 2017
This selection of strips from Wolf's Kimchi Cuddles I picked up at the library yesterday and ran through it pretty quickly. It reminded me of one of my students a couple years ago who did a project for our graphic novels/comics class about being polyamorous (which means, basically, consensual multiple partners). Wolf is kind of giddily happy about being polyamorous and polyamory as a kind of general principle for making space for more love for more people, and so on, and that energy helps you smile as you read and learn. Cute comics + irrepressible enthusiasm + a (decent) sense of humor.
Wolf's an advocate and a kind of advice columnist here. The book is at base pretty didactically informative about what it means to live polyamorously, and it may be amusing to the poly world, since some of it is kind of acknowledged "insider's" info. It features strips on the dating scene, relationship questions and troubleshooting. It's informative, it's pretty interesting, it's pretty good. It feels a little simple in a way, though.It reminded me of the sixties and the sexual revolution, which it seems has continued in its quiet way. So good for her and them. But I'll admit a creeping cynicism to all the enthusiasm. Which makes me a curmudgeon, I suppose.
I'm happy they all seem to be happy in their polyamorousness. Seriously. And I hope they always stay that breathlessly excited happy way that Wolf represents herself and many others in the book. As someone as famous as Scarlett Johannssen said recently, "People are not meant for monogamy." Which may be true. But maybe I'll also say, speak for yourself, Scarlett. I mean, monogamy does seem to be meant for me, which is a kind of relief, I have to say. Jealousy seems like a difficulty polys strive to eliminate, or live with. Feels very complicated to navigate, given how much work one relationship takes! I have never watched that show, either, Big Love, about a polygamist Mormon family (which is not that same thing, exactly, though it is about some people choosing to live with multiple mates (for men, not women, of course!). Clearly some people seem to make it work.
Here's some images of Kimchi Cuddles:
https://www.google.com/search?q=kimch...
Here's an interview with Wolf, if you are curious:
https://culturedvultures.com/intervie...
Wolf's an advocate and a kind of advice columnist here. The book is at base pretty didactically informative about what it means to live polyamorously, and it may be amusing to the poly world, since some of it is kind of acknowledged "insider's" info. It features strips on the dating scene, relationship questions and troubleshooting. It's informative, it's pretty interesting, it's pretty good. It feels a little simple in a way, though.It reminded me of the sixties and the sexual revolution, which it seems has continued in its quiet way. So good for her and them. But I'll admit a creeping cynicism to all the enthusiasm. Which makes me a curmudgeon, I suppose.
I'm happy they all seem to be happy in their polyamorousness. Seriously. And I hope they always stay that breathlessly excited happy way that Wolf represents herself and many others in the book. As someone as famous as Scarlett Johannssen said recently, "People are not meant for monogamy." Which may be true. But maybe I'll also say, speak for yourself, Scarlett. I mean, monogamy does seem to be meant for me, which is a kind of relief, I have to say. Jealousy seems like a difficulty polys strive to eliminate, or live with. Feels very complicated to navigate, given how much work one relationship takes! I have never watched that show, either, Big Love, about a polygamist Mormon family (which is not that same thing, exactly, though it is about some people choosing to live with multiple mates (for men, not women, of course!). Clearly some people seem to make it work.
Here's some images of Kimchi Cuddles:
https://www.google.com/search?q=kimch...
Here's an interview with Wolf, if you are curious:
https://culturedvultures.com/intervie...
June 15, 2017
YES! So informative, and I laughed aloud the whole time.
November 28, 2016
I thought this book would provide interesting insight into the subject, but it only left me thinking the polyamorous lifestyle is pretty miserable and definitely not one I could imagine living myself. The poorly-drawn strips quickly devolved into a repetitive sequence of talking heads spouting platitudes worse than those found in the silly Love Is... comic strips from the newspapers (you know, the ones with the two squat nude people). This book had me laughing out loud in entirely the wrong way as one ridiculous-sounding monologue kept being topped by the next. Ugh.
May 11, 2016
Kimchi Cuddles is best Cuddles!
In all seriousness though, this book contains a very good selection of Kimchi Cuddles' online comic. It is a little hard to describe exactly what this comic was for me. I read it, and now re-read it, at two different times. One when I had just discovered polyamory and was in the process of figuring it out - a hard task, to put it mildly - and again later at a more stable stage in life.
The first time I read it, the often poignant insights, condensed into meaningful, empathetic and emotional comic strips were invaluable. There is so much wisdom and so much self-discovery to be found in this book if you're new to the topic, and it's communicated in such a caring, loving way. There is no judgment, the language isn't prescriptive... It simply seems as if every comic opens new windows through which you can peer at your own self, finding friendly suggestions of how you might live more authentically.
The second time I read it, recently, it was a different experience. It elicited smiles of understanding, validation of lived experiences, and often food for thought in how the author's experiences might differ from my own.
I think it's fairly safe to say that there's something in this book for everyone. I can imagine myself lending it out to folks as an non-judgmental introduction to both the good and bad of polyamory, since it's short and sweet enough to devour quickly. I can also imagine myself coming back to it from time to time and it being a good catalyst for reflecting some more about where I am in life and my experiences.
Highly recommended for just about anyone :)
In all seriousness though, this book contains a very good selection of Kimchi Cuddles' online comic. It is a little hard to describe exactly what this comic was for me. I read it, and now re-read it, at two different times. One when I had just discovered polyamory and was in the process of figuring it out - a hard task, to put it mildly - and again later at a more stable stage in life.
The first time I read it, the often poignant insights, condensed into meaningful, empathetic and emotional comic strips were invaluable. There is so much wisdom and so much self-discovery to be found in this book if you're new to the topic, and it's communicated in such a caring, loving way. There is no judgment, the language isn't prescriptive... It simply seems as if every comic opens new windows through which you can peer at your own self, finding friendly suggestions of how you might live more authentically.
The second time I read it, recently, it was a different experience. It elicited smiles of understanding, validation of lived experiences, and often food for thought in how the author's experiences might differ from my own.
I think it's fairly safe to say that there's something in this book for everyone. I can imagine myself lending it out to folks as an non-judgmental introduction to both the good and bad of polyamory, since it's short and sweet enough to devour quickly. I can also imagine myself coming back to it from time to time and it being a good catalyst for reflecting some more about where I am in life and my experiences.
Highly recommended for just about anyone :)
July 1, 2019
Una buena referencia y guía, con buena dosis de humor y simpatía, para entender y comprender el poliamor.
Nota: No confundir poliamor con promiscuidad, son cosas totalmente diferentes.
Nota: No confundir poliamor con promiscuidad, son cosas totalmente diferentes.
April 26, 2017
I love that her comics don't just talk about polyamory but also identity and self-care. It's a good reminder to take care of myself and be honest about how I feel
May 21, 2016
If you are open-minded about issues of gender and sexual orientation and open to conversations about ethical polygamy and monogamy, "Ask Me About Polyamory: the best of Kimchi Cuddles" by Tikka Wolf is a great resource for talking about relationships with teens, young adults, and adults.
The comics are light-hearted and approachable, generally 4 to 6 panels on a scenario, and have some of the best discussions I have ever seen about how to actually live in the messy, emotional middle of intimate human relationships, whether platonic, romantic, or sexual.
The comics are light-hearted and approachable, generally 4 to 6 panels on a scenario, and have some of the best discussions I have ever seen about how to actually live in the messy, emotional middle of intimate human relationships, whether platonic, romantic, or sexual.
November 25, 2017
Enjoyed this more than the three stars. I laughed, had a tear or two, also excitedly shared several with my husband. Normally I’d give four stars. I’m being stingy not as a fault of the author. I’m looking for help navigating murky waters and as much as this book helped relieve some stress, I’m still feeling overwhelmed with all that I’m trying to wrap my head around. Thankfully the last pages provide recommendations. Off to the bookstore!
February 23, 2017
A book of cute comic strips focused on different elements of polyamory. The strips tend to be very thoughtful and compassionate, even if they all have a tendency to be didactic. At best they're very considerate and empathic, and at worst, preachy.
But they
I would give this a 3.5, but it's getting a 4 for the subject matter!
But they
I would give this a 3.5, but it's getting a 4 for the subject matter!
January 6, 2019
I think for where I am in my own polyamory and queerness this book was a bit too basic for me and I found it a bit hard to read for extended times. I really am glad the book is doing what it is doing and I am glad that it has had a very positive impact on a lot of people's life. I think ultimately this is a book for people in a particular place in their life and I am just not that audience.
July 7, 2020
Todavía me queda mucho por aprender sobre poliamor, pero este libro me acercó a mucha información a la que no había tenido acceso antes. Habla de las relaciones humanas en la vida cotidiana con naturalidad y de una manera simple y educativa. Es amigable.
No me enfoqué tanto en los personajes porque me confundí mucho (no por la dificultad del libro, sino por mi ignorancia en el tema) creo que en una segunda leída, después de repasar varios conceptos, podría entenderlo del todo. Aun así siento fructífera mi lectura.
Muy recomendable, espero que tenga una traducción al español pronto.
No me enfoqué tanto en los personajes porque me confundí mucho (no por la dificultad del libro, sino por mi ignorancia en el tema) creo que en una segunda leída, después de repasar varios conceptos, podría entenderlo del todo. Aun así siento fructífera mi lectura.
Muy recomendable, espero que tenga una traducción al español pronto.
February 9, 2023
Very basic overview of polyamorous and queer life. A good introduction to gift a loved one you're coming out to, or for someone at the absolute beginning of exploring non-monogamy for themselves. While it covers a range of topics, it asks more questions than it answers but doesn't even briefly engage with one or more multiple answers to those questions. This was certainly on purpose, but it keeps the content very surface-level.
July 19, 2020
Muy explicativo, diverso, entretenido y aterrizado. Hay harto del lenguaje poliamoroso que no conocía. Lo más interesante es como explicaba el día a día y aquellas cosas más cotidianas de personas poliamorosas. También lo encontré súper tierno! Lo leí en la BPD, pero está solo en inglés.
August 12, 2020
entretenido y educativo. a través de conversaciones de situaciones cotidianas rompe con los estereotipos que existen del poliamor. aprendí muchos términos y tb me cuestione cosas de mí misma y mi relación. como introducción al tema es muy útil <3
February 8, 2017
I haven't read anything about polyamory before, and I like to learn about new topics, so when I saw this book come through our library, I picked it up. I read the whole thing. The comic isn't particularly engrossing. Each little stand-alone comic is fairly serious/ earnest, and almost didactic in its desire to explain the poly lifestyle, as well as queer identity. I think it did a good job conveying the definitions (such as there are) of the lifestyle as well as its challenges and rewards. The artwork is cute. The cast is large and diverse, but kinda difficult to track/ remember, in my opinion. a lot of times the main difference between recurring characters is the color of their spiky hair and which direction it leans.
This wasn't bad. Perhaps it just wasn't for me. I'm glad I learned a little bit more about the subject, although that lifestyle definitely isn't for me. At least it was a fast read. If I want more information on the topic, I'm more likely to find biography/ memoir/ non fiction on the topic, though.
This wasn't bad. Perhaps it just wasn't for me. I'm glad I learned a little bit more about the subject, although that lifestyle definitely isn't for me. At least it was a fast read. If I want more information on the topic, I'm more likely to find biography/ memoir/ non fiction on the topic, though.
September 26, 2019
4.5 Stars. I love Kimchi Cuddles, this cartoon series, and how the characters, which don't always appear binary, so yay for that, interact with each other on their journey in polyamory. There's an openness and warmth about all these characters, and they're also vari-colored, unlike how some polyam people are depicted as all-white, all the time.
It's well-organized, with cartoons about various subjects grouped together.
That said, I do have a small beef with this. In reading the Kindle version, it was often hard to make out the text, and the cartoons were NOT able to be enlarged, even though I have a spiffy Kindle fire. :-( I did also buy the paperback version of this work, and I can read THAT just fine. So my recommendation is to buy the paperback version, not the Kindle version.
It's well-organized, with cartoons about various subjects grouped together.
That said, I do have a small beef with this. In reading the Kindle version, it was often hard to make out the text, and the cartoons were NOT able to be enlarged, even though I have a spiffy Kindle fire. :-( I did also buy the paperback version of this work, and I can read THAT just fine. So my recommendation is to buy the paperback version, not the Kindle version.
May 7, 2020
Eh, really not my thing. I have many friends in poly relationships and while it's definitely not my thing, I like seeing them happy and wanted to know more about the lifestyle. A lot of this felt really contrived to me - expect nothing of your partners, everything in your life should come from you, yayyyy isn't this great - it honestly made being poly seem incredibly lonely and unfulfilling, and I know from friends that they don't feel that way at all. I can live with the mediocre (at best) art, but the people monologuing nonstop was annoying, and I feel like if this book was my first exposure to polyamory I would feel less positive towards it than I do.
July 24, 2019
I feel like I learned a good bit about poly and non-monogamy in practice, which is why I read it. Even though I identify most with monogamy, I really liked the speaker's ideas about love, expression, openness, intimacy, and the importance of feeling your feelings. Some parts I felt were too idealistic, but all in all, I think this is a great primer for those who'd like to learn more about different types of partnerships.
June 21, 2018
This managed to be funny and informative all throughout. It broke quite a bit down and illuminated a lot of stereotypes and usual bigotry surrounding a subject that many have assumptions or absolutely no knowledge of. I would recommend this book to all whether or not you are considering poly for your life and relationships.
January 15, 2018
This was ok. I picked it up as a companion read to Next Year, For Sure and I'm glad I did. As a graphic novel, it was weak, neither the drawings, typography, nor flow was particularly strong, but as an informative book about different lifestyles and inclusivity, it did a good job.
June 30, 2018
Super cute! I appreciate having all of this commentary in a graphic form. A great easy read on so many topics associated with how we relate to people. This isn't just a poly book, it's so much more than that.
September 24, 2016
Read my review on my blog here:
https://polyesque.wordpress.com/2016/...
https://polyesque.wordpress.com/2016/...
April 2, 2019
Perfect for explaining polyamory AND for people already in polyamorous relationships <3 I loved reading this
September 16, 2020
I've had this one on my Hoopla wish-list for a long time but didn't have a good reason to pick it up until recently. Ask me about Polyamory is a series of individual comics about a group of LGBTQ people in their partners, dealing with poly relationships, tensions between poly and mono individuals, acceptance, and identify, all trying to find love, with each other and among themselves.
The messaging in the book is pretty heavy handed, which makes sense since Wolf is making their point in such a brief period of time. As a result, the comics are sometimes very dense snippets of conversation which is really repetitive if you sit and read it in a single sitting. However, the message is fantastic, focusing on love and not fear, trying to live you best and let those you love do the same, even if that means your relationship changes. There is a little bit of information for someone who might not know about polyamory, trans identities, asexuality, etc. which is excellent. There are a LOT of characters, which is overwhelming but over time it becomes easier to differentiate between them and remember the relationships that connect them.
Overall, this is such a positive, love-forward take on relationship development, whether those relationships are romantic, friendly, or sexual. There's great focus in here about understanding your feelings, your needs, and the feeling and needs of your partner. It's all about open communication, patience, and critical examination of fears and insecurities so they can be dealt with in a positive way. Certainly a worthwhile read.
The messaging in the book is pretty heavy handed, which makes sense since Wolf is making their point in such a brief period of time. As a result, the comics are sometimes very dense snippets of conversation which is really repetitive if you sit and read it in a single sitting. However, the message is fantastic, focusing on love and not fear, trying to live you best and let those you love do the same, even if that means your relationship changes. There is a little bit of information for someone who might not know about polyamory, trans identities, asexuality, etc. which is excellent. There are a LOT of characters, which is overwhelming but over time it becomes easier to differentiate between them and remember the relationships that connect them.
Overall, this is such a positive, love-forward take on relationship development, whether those relationships are romantic, friendly, or sexual. There's great focus in here about understanding your feelings, your needs, and the feeling and needs of your partner. It's all about open communication, patience, and critical examination of fears and insecurities so they can be dealt with in a positive way. Certainly a worthwhile read.
October 23, 2023
Well, a librarian recommended it to me. It’s basic. The graphics are basic. I’d call it a 101 book.
There were about three great points about rejection, abandonment issues versus needing space, and how people all change as we live our lives.
There were about three great points about rejection, abandonment issues versus needing space, and how people all change as we live our lives.
May 19, 2020
An interesting read.
DO NOT go into this book looking for something about being genderqueer or queer (if youre not counting polyamory) in general. You only get a couple or pages in the end.
DO NOT go into this book looking for something about being genderqueer or queer (if youre not counting polyamory) in general. You only get a couple or pages in the end.
June 14, 2023
Valid points
February 6, 2022
Simplemente genial, para aquellos que practican la no monogamia, estupendas reflexiones y para los que no la practican, estupendo acercamiento a las vivencias de los no lo monógamos.
Ameno, educativo, útil y necesario
Ameno, educativo, útil y necesario
August 17, 2019
coaching emocional post moderno
Displaying 1 - 30 of 131 reviews