Suck It Up

Suck It Up #1

by Brian Meehl

★  " Meehl's contribution to the growing subgenre of YA vampire novels is very,  very  funny...witty one-liners pile up while Meehl exploits every known vampire cliche to great comic effect...A refreshing take on the vampire romance, with a misfit vampire protagonist readers are certain to love ."-- Publishers Weekly , Starred  

Are you up to your neck in bloodsucking vampire stories?Tired of those tales about dentally enhanced dark lords?
Before I wrote this book I thought all vampires were night-stalking, fangpopping, bloodsucking fiends. Then I met Morning McCobb. He's a vegan vampire who drinks a soy-blood substitute called Blood Lite. He believes staking should be a hate crime. And someday he hopes to march in a Vampire Pride Parade. He was also the first vampire to out himself and try to show people of mortality, like you and me, that vampires are just another minority with special needs. Trust me--this is like no other vampire book you'll ever feed on. 
So, as my buddy Morning says, "Pop the lid, and suck it up."

"Appealing characters and an original vampire world. Delightful for those who like their romance vaguely paranormal, their adventure romantic and their vampires defanged." --Kirkus Reviews  "A flawed and affable protagonist . . . snarky humor, outsider-looking-in perspective, and fresh new takes on the familiar." --School Library Journal

Genres: Young Adult, Vampires, Fantasy, Paranormal, Fiction, Teen, Supernatural

336 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2008

About the author

Sign up for Brian Meehl’s ANNOUNCEMENTS at https://www.blowbacktrilogy.com , or CONTACT him at brian@brianmeehl.com .

Brian’s most recent novel is BLOWBACK '94, the “hugely enjoyable and fast-paced” finale in his critically acclaimed BLOWBACK TRILOGY. The kickoff book in the trilogy, BLOWBACK ’07, received a coveted red-star review from Publishers Weekly.

His award-winning books include a bestselling comedic riff on vampires, SUCK IT UP, OUT OF PATIENCE (Junior Library Guild Selection), and YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT ME (Blue Ribbon from the Bulletin for the Center for Children’s Books).

Once upon a time, Brian worked for Jim Henson’s Muppets and puppeteered the gamut from a young pup, Barkley on SESAME STREET, to the Dying Master in Henson’s cult classic, THE DARK CRYSTAL. After taking up the pen, Brian wrote for kids’ shows like THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS and BETWEEN THE LIONS, winning three Emmys along the way.

For more on Brian, his books and the BLOWBACK TRILOGY, visit www.blowbacktrilogy.com and www.brianmeehl.com. Or watch his interview presenting BLOWBACK '07 and talking about his career with the Muppets at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZM26....

You can also check out my latest interview and get a hint of what I hope to work on next at: https://www.californiaherald.com/goin...

Reviews

[Janine · Rating 5 out of 5]

This has got to be one of the most original vampire books I have ever read. If you're more of a Twilight, Vampire Diaries, and Vampire Academy reader than this won't be your cup of tea. Forget about hot vampires with six packs and strangely sensitive feelings - Morning is a scrawny comic book geek. While to some this may be a turn off, to me it was heavenly. Before you shut this off for its comic book references and lack of sparkly perfect vampires, take into consideration how much more realistic Brian Meehl's book is. There's even a dictionary in the back of the book to explain certain phrases used in the book that have to do with vampires.

Suck it Up is fresh, fun, interesting, and just so fantastic. Brian Meehl creates imperfect, realistic, yet likable characters. Portria, the love interest to Morning, is so true to so many women in this world. We may not want to admit that we're like Portia but be honest, we all think men are sexist slobs just like Portia thought Monday was. Physically she isn't a super model too, which makes her even more original. Also, the fact that she doensn't believe him about being a vampire for quite a while is very realistic. Their relationship is also great because it happened more naturally. He's not saying stupid things like "I'm going to protect you" or "you're my soulmate." They sort of naturally fell for each other.

I honestly could go on forever about this novel. It was so rereshing to read and so clever. Props to Brian Meehl on challeging the vampire genre. Simply fantastic.

[Robert Chartrand · Rating 4 out of 5]

This isn't your typical vampire novel. Nor is Morning McCobb, the star of the book, your typical vampire. Morning has just graduated from an Ivy League for Vampires. A school that teaches you how to control your blood lust, get past your irrational fear of the sun, and be able to live comfortably among mortals. After graduation, Morning is approached by the head vampire of the school and asked to be a part of a very special project: to be the first vampire to out himself to the general public. Morning must show people that vampires are just a minority with special needs, while at the same time, try and control urges that are slowly taking him over.

This is definitely a first for me in terms of how vampires are portrayed. As a minority group? I've never seen that before. One could really compare the way the story is handled to actual minority groups that are a part of our world today. The similarities are there, but, thankfully, the book doesn't get too preachy.
I also enjoyed how some of a vampires traits are explained, and the jargon that exists for different vampiric urges. I alway find it interesting how each book is so different.
So, if you are a fan of vampire novels, or even enjoy books on minority groups trying to come up in the world, then you will want to take a look at this one.

[Marya · Rating 3 out of 5]

How many obscure comic book references can you find in this book? The challenge is set!

Not only is this a light, humorous teen book about a vampire chosen to be the first to "come out" to the world, the author makes sure the writing has the teen creds to go with the plot (fake websites, current events, etc.) One of the best things about the book is how it follows through the absurdities of comic book situations to their logical conclusion: Why do vampires have epidex, a synthetic body suit they wear underneath their clothes? So that when they shape shift, they aren't naked when they return to human form! Why is that a problem? Because this book would eventually like to made into a PG-13 movie! The cool book cover helps too.

[Susan · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not great...especially now with so many vamp books on the market, everyone's a connoisseur and this one is unfortunately just sort of okay across the board...it's a little humorous but not very, the characters are sort of interesting yet not quite likable, and the opposite attract love story lacked (for lack of a better word) bite. I wouldn't say Stephenie Meyer is the gold standard, but with her books being so high-profile one has to at least keep up with her these days, and this one couldn't even really do that. For an alternative take on the modern vampire story, I'd rather recommend Thirsty by M.T. Anderson.

[Amanda · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not your average vampire story. I picked this book up after reading the summary hopeing it would be a funny parody type book about vampires. There are so many puns and bad vampire references that I was physically eye rolling.
The story is about a 16 year old boy named.......MORNING. Yep, his name is Morning, which is the first of many names that gets completely beaten to a pulp. Anyways, Morning got bitten and turned into a vamp, he just graduated from vamp school and his principal has a job for him. I won't go into detail about his 'job' as I would give away the story. I can see maybe 12-16 year old's liking this book.

He ends up temporarily living wiht a lady named Penny Dredful. NO, I'm not kidding, her name is Penny DREDFUL! Oh, and meet her daughter, Portia Dredful.
Oh and I forgot, Morning drinks Blood-Lite. yep. He sure does. Synthetic soy blood called Blood-Lite.
In case you do decide to read the book anyways, here are some "dredful" quotes (ha ha, now I'm getting into it)
1. I Look forward to fangin out - oops - i mean hangin out with ya late. (really?)
2. "Oh man, now they're going to be gunning for me"
"Don't you mean, staking for you?"
3. "Were playing high stakes poker, and your holding the stakes."
4. "Ohmigod, you don't get fat."
5. "Until the accident"
"What accident?"
"Backwash."
6. "A penny for your thoughts, and I'm not talking about my mother"

[Heather · Rating 3 out of 5]

Morning McCobb is an outcast vampire. He's 16 and a scrawny geek instead of a buff hottie like the rest of the vampires at the League. But that's why he is chosen to be the poster boy for the IV League's "coming out of the coffin" to humanity. But will his brush with fame be his undoing?

The good: It's a vampire book that focuses on a boy. The romance is not the center plot point. There is shape changing, but not a lot of other paranormal powers. It has funny parts.

The not-so-good: I didn't care about Morning or Portia. The character names are really bad puns. Even though vampire books are obviously fiction, this one felt totally unbelieveable.

[karlé · Rating 5 out of 5]

Suck It Up. The title really caught my eye when I first saw this book at a book sale. And the cartoony cover is cute too! But what made it 5 stars is the plot of the book. It's not your ordinary Vampire romantic blah. The story expands as it progresses which is so cool! Brian Meehl is one of the best.

[VioLeT · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm sure Mr. Meehl did not intend to throw in the most cliched, sexist stereotypes of sex, virginity and gender, but by God, he managed to do it!

[Rizal · Rating 4 out of 5]

(I'm not quite sure if i want to give this 3 or 4 stars but I enjoyed it.)

Funny and enjoyable.

[Chris Nick · Rating 1 out of 5]

..... this book was horrible from the first page to the last. the reasons are simple. for starters they make so many lame jokes that only a very young child who has no sense in comedy would find funny. second the characters are all bland and underdeveloped. not one of them are interesting enough to save the book. i admit the premise is .....er.."unique" but it just blows up in your face after the first few chapters. this book is so bad it comes very close to making twilight look cool and that is a hard thing to accomplish. another big problem is that it tries so hard to be different that it just bombs. i respect a new take on a certain topic such as vampires but only when it is done right. this book is more like a script for a movie that should never be made. it feels as if you are reading a script and not a book. hopefully that will never happen. brian meehl...im sorry but i have to give this book 1 star

[Heather · Rating 2 out of 5]

I loved the idea of this book: Morning McCobb is a new vampire (10 months under his fangs) and has just graduated from the IVLeague (the "new school" vampire way...not feeding on humans) and has been chosen to be the guinea pig. He will be the first vampire to come out or expose himself and his powers to humans in hope of vampires and humans living together in harmony.
Great idea, right?
I don't know if it is just me, but I did not enjoy the book. I even found myself rushing through the last 100 pages. I'll have more info on why I didn't like it upon longer reflection...

[Caeligh · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book about a young vampire is great. All the vampires have been staying hidden in society and Morning is chosen as the 1st vampire to show himself. IT's really really good and a fast fast read.

[Shirley :] · Rating 4 out of 5]

Morning McCobb was an orphan at the St. Giles Home in New York City. He never had anything to hold on to and never kept anyone close to him because of the fear of losing them. Except for one of the sister's taking care of him in the Foster Home, Sister Flora. But one night, while moved to another family's home, something happened to Morning that changed him forever. While sleeping he was awakened by an intruder in the house and looked over to see a tall, dark man over the limp bodies of his foster parents. Shocked and nervous, Morning stood to watch what was happening silently but the intruder immediately felt watched and went after Morning. He snatched Morning out of his bed with so much force that Morning thought was not possible. Knowing he could not fight against this immense strength Morning struggled but then something weird happened. As Morning thought he was about to die, he noticed that the stranger did not have a knife, a gun or any weapon except sharp fangs. Confused about how he was dying, Morning struggled but the stranger caught his neck in a sharp pain-filling stab. But from the stranger's point, he had to kill Morning because Morning had watched and not only that but Morning was mortal, a lifer. The stranger was a Loner, a vampire who followed the old ways and still drained people of their blood for their likings. But since this stranger had had 2 full bodies of blood he immediately felt like he was overdoing his full bar. He was going overboard with how much blood his body could take because he had to kill this kid. And just like our bodies do when we can't take more food, we burp or like he regurgitated. But he stopped himself late and noticed the horror he had done. He had messed up the blood transfusion and gave the kid some of his own blood. Shocked at his own actions, the stranger let the kid go, leaving him only unconscious. He had created a blood child with no intention. His blood child under Vampire Law. Human blood and Vampire blood ran through Morning's veins. Morning had become a SangFU. Sang meaning blood and FU meaning mess up in transfusion. But that was all Morning remembered. A man, his foster parents and nothing after except being taken somewhere far, far away.
Morning was put into a Leaguer Academy. The Leaguer academy is a school for the vampires who did not want to follow old ways of the Loners and wanted to control their blood lust and become human friendly. They were also the ones who wanted to raise human awareness of Leaguer Vampires, but the Loners did not. Morning was 16 and remained 16 forever because of the Loner vampire blood in his veins. But what bothered most was that Morning was half loner and half lifer. And yet Loners did not follow the humane safe ways of the Leaguer vampires, Morning was in a Leaguer school. So in the school, Morning was the strangest creation. And yet the weirdest part about Morning himself was that he had never had one sip of human blood in his life. He loathed the taste of it and he always had a drink called Blood Lite that was like a alternative 'protein' shake. This called the sight of the Principle of the Leaguer Academy, Mr. Luther Birnam. He knew something like Morning's creation was extremely special so he decided long time ago to have a little chat with him after Morning's graduation.
On the day of Morning's graduation of Leaguer Academy they had to show that they learned every single aspect of being a leaguer. Before they could get their diplomas they were to transform or CD (cellular diffrentiation) into one of the 7 forms of transformations. All the others transformed into something extraordinary while Morning messed up his transformation and CDed into a huge moth. What Morning did not notice, that Birnam did, was that he had transformed into something special that included 2 forms; the Flyer and the Hider. This was something none of the others did. Birnam then saw that this was the most perfect time to lead Morning in and tell him about his plans. After the graduation, Morning met with Birnam who told him about his plan of making Morning the model figure of vampires. He told Morning that he would be known in Vampire History by making Worldwide Out Day. A day that would finally let vampires be known among the world of humans. Morning accepted this plan, knowing it would be almost superhero like and thats a dream, being a superhero, that he always wanted but let go of it because of his past. But he also knew that no other vampires had done this and he was risking his life. But he also knew that he was one of the most peaceful and non-vampirish-acting like vampire in all. This would be the perfect thing for him to do.
Birnam sent Morning out to New York City. A place he thought he would never be able to live in again. In New York, he was sent to a woman named Penny Dredful. She was the one who was to take care and make Morning's story known. Penny also has a daughter named Portia. One who Morning easily liked. But with humans around, a bigger problem came in. As Morning lived more around them, as Morning talked with them as Morning became closer to Portia he experienced something irresistible. Blood. Portia's wanting to be closer to Morning became a problem, because of blood lust. Morning tried to resist this feeling but every time Portia was around, and even though he liked her and wanted her to be around, he couldn't have her around because felt any moment he would drink from her. And this was something that hurt Morning. This was someone he was starting to like and he couldn't even get close to them. He couldn't keep having deep feelings for her because of his need. But their love life was crossed with every interview and every showing of Morning to the world of mortals. They became obsessed with Morning and the finding that he was a real vampire when he transformed on live news camera. This was something no other vampire was allowed to do under Loner Law. But since Morning was also a Leaguer he had a special excuse. But not for Ikor DeThanatos. Ikor DeThanatos did not take excuses. He did not have tolerance for such a vampire threatening act. Ikor was a loner vampire. And a loner vampire he was that was willing to do anything to kill Morning and stop him from telling the Mortal world of vampire existences.
And one day Ikor set out to kill Morning. even though it was against vampire law to kill another vampire, Ikor did not care. In fact he was the only one of the whole entire community of loners who did not sign the vampire peace treaty after the loner and leaguer war. But as he was going to stake Morning in his sleep he noticed a rush and a feel of familiarness in his veins. Inside his gut screamed no. And that was one of the things loner vampires followed most, their gut and intuition. He tried to make a realization of why he should not kill Morning because his gut said not to but he was taken by surprise that he did not even tell and di not even remember that Morning was his blood child. His SangFu. His mess up. Angered at his stupidity of turning this one, especially, into a vampire he left and thought up of another plan. He would use someone to kill Morning.
Ikor found a useful, violent man named Golpear. Golpear was human and could, under law, kill a vampire. So Ikor sent Golpear on 3 tasks. He would first stake Morning. Golpear accepted but lost the special stake to kill Morning on the way. To not be a disappointment to Ikor he used a normal tick to stake Morning. And apparently, this "normal" stake did not work because it was not make of the special wood that the other was made of. Furious, Ikor set up another way that the vampire could be killed. A arrow was meant to pierce Morning's heart. But once again, Golpear failed. The last blow for Golpear to mess up was the final step. The last step and only way to finally kill Morning. Golpear had to wait till sunset and flame Morning's body. Excited Golpear asked what else there was to be done but Ikor told him that the last step of this step had to wait till sunset. Ikor did not tell Golpear the last step which was to scatter the ashes of Morning. By not telling him, Golpear became eager to find out. Even though Ikor told him that it did not matter if Golpear had a chance at killing Morning when the sun was up that it HAD to be sunset. At sunset was when it did matter, when it did make a killing. But eager Golpear found the perfect chance when he found himself alone with Morning. He thought he could just kill Morning to not be of disappointment to Ikor and he immediately took the advantage. Golpear used the flamethrower to burn Morning to ashes and ran from the scene. When Golpear arrived at Ikor's he told him of his success excited to be something proud of for Ikor. But since Golpear did not follow Ikor's rules and did not wait till sunset and for the last step of scattering the ashes Ikor went furious. Morning could still be alive, but it was for sure that Golpear was not going to be alive anymore.
But just moments later, Portia began to look for Morning and found his ashes in the shape of his body in the dying fire. Birnam was also there and Birnam told Portia that she had to give blood to the ashes of Morning if she wanted him alive. She did so because he also told her that this would create a tighter bond, and thats what Portia had always wanted from Morning. But Birnam also told her that her personality would also be passed on to Morning when he awakens because of the blood fusion. His DNA would be part hers until a few days when his DNA would recover all of Morning. Morning was revived but was confused and became a total 'jerk' to Portia because of his change in personality. And thats when Ikor took the chance of using Portia as an object to oppose everything Morning did. Ikor then went on his way of charming Portia. He created such a jealous Morning that he would do anything to get Portia away from this man.
And on the last day, on the day they would finally let humans know of WorldWide Out Day, Portia and Penny were taken to the Leaguer Mountains where Leaguer Academy was. But they were taken in blindfold just in case the humans did not accept this. But someone appeared at the celebration on the mountains. Ikor. He met up with Portia and told her a manipulating wrong way of the Leaguers plan of World Wide Out Day. Full of questions, Ikor stopped Portia short and told her to meet him outside the school when they are announcing Morning. And while Portia thought Morning was still in his jerk ways, she agreed with Ikor and let herself go. But meanwhile, Morning was going through his DNA phase. He was becoming himself again and began to notice that Portia was not around. He remembered the man who he'd seen and felt the need to protect Portia. So he went looking for her instead of staying when they announced him.
Portia found herself in a dark room with Ikor. He told her about the Leaguers manipulating way of using humans, he told her all the wrong things about WorlWide Out Day, he told her so many things that made her start to dislike and want to stop the vampires. But so soon Morning, wanting to protect her, found her but Ikor had disappeared. Scared of Morning, Portia started to back away and be afraid of him and Morning did not like this one bit because he was so close to her and blood lust was kicking in. But he did not want to show her what she was saying he was when he wasn't. Trying to help her, Portia fought back because she thought everything Ikor was saying was true. She fought back with harsh words about how he has suddenly changed and she told him about the DNA fusion. He accepted that he had acted that way before because he was part her. She was so angered that it fueled Morning. In rage and deep desire he pounced on Portia and even though he regretted it and deeply hated himself for it, he fed.
He fed longingly until all his memories started coming back to him and let go of unconscious Portia who now was sure he was a monster. He ran away from Portia to Birnam. And let his guts spill about everything he'd done. But by the time he'd told Birnam, Penny had overheard and Portia's body was taken away by Ikor. Ready to defend and put all his worries away to protect Portia, Morning ran to follow Ikor. But Birnam had told him things that kept him on the edge. Because the news of him drinking from Portia and not being the "all" nice vampire he wouldv'e liked people to think all vampires were like, Birnam told Morning he would have to kill him. He owuld have to stop Worldwide out day. But Morning told Birnam he would rather be killed by Ikor trying to defend Portia then be killed by Birnam ,first. But then Birnam told Morning that the place where Ikor took Portia was the only place a vampire could very easily be killed by a loner. It was the mother forest. The only place that grew trees full of the special wood that could in one stab kill any vampire. But Morning didn't care and decided to go save Portia.
Portia awoke in the forest with Ikor by her side. Ikor had given her a stake that she would use to kill Morning when he came. She agreed because she was now sure of the fact that Morning was a blood sucking monster. And soon she saw Morning come into view. He came and landed on the tree in the shape of a green horned owl. And soon it was battle time. And Morning knew this was his first fight and even scarier against a warrior who had killed countless vampires in war. But fight began. Both Ikor and Morning CDed into many different animals and fought and fought till one was hurt enough to kill. At one point, weak and bleading, Ikor started toward Portia ready to kill her but as she began to notice h wanted to kill her Morning stopped Ikor. Surprised at his growing strength because of his blood drink and need to save Portia, Morning was actually beating Ikor. But as Morning was seconds away from killing Ikor, Ikor stopped Morning with life changing statements. Ikor told Morning that he was his blood child. He was the one who turned him into a SangFu. He told him that Ikor would be breaking a law. He told him that Morning would just kill both of them. Since that was his blood father and he was the blood child if he killed his father he would die along with him. Phased by these facts Morning lost a bit of control upon Ikor. Ikor was now on the verge of winning. But was stopped when Morning stated a well thought out statement that stopped Ikor. Morning told Ikor that by killing him, Portia would live and Morning would be freed of his vampire curse. Something he's always wanted. Ikor began to struggle and suddenly Morning noticed that Ikor screamed in pain and went limp. Portia stood behind the stake that had gone through Ikor's chest. She noticed that Morning had gave all to save her. Morning had risked his life to keep Portia safe. Ikor burst into flames in his own home forest and the winds carried his ashes to a spread so thin that he would not be able to revive again.
At the beating of Ikor, Birnam told Morning he was proud of him and was not meant to be killed anymore because he could not control his blood lust in that moment he drank from Portia. WorldWide Out day proceeded and Portia and Morning created a tighter bond. Something Portia wanted. Something Morning wanted. At the end, Morning kept his goals closer. He kept the things he came to love even closer. He had made a change of himself, of all vampires, went through the toughest parts and came out a different, accomplished Morning. Something he never thought he's be.

I liked this book because the author's words were so true to even life today and how people would really act. I liked that the author seemed to be focused on every single little detail and put great imagination behind the story, life and past of his vampires. I also liked that he put twists and turns to the story and made you stop and reread some parts in shock. I would recommend this book to anyone who likes to read on vampires, who likes sappy stories and likes books of people overcoming hard changes and trying to be true to themselves.

My favorite quote;

The ominous quiet was more terrifying than the noise of the battle. -Portia

[Stephanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I would love to say that Morning was just your regular, average kid looking to grow up and do something with his life, but we both know that is a lie. Morning was never average, he was an orphan who had a not so great childhood and wanted to be a superhero. He wanted to save lives, take back bridges for pigeons, and just be a good person. However life throws some curveballs and he got hit with a major one.

Morning got turned into a vampire at 16 and in this universe, when you get turned into a vampire you stay the same way you are. No sexy abs, no rippling muscles, no incredible increases in height, and not charming good looks. You look just the way you are. If it were me, I would be PISSED at my maker and would just assassinate his arse on first sight. I mean the least they could have done is let me loose a couple of pounds and get a beach body. Sheesh. Anyway I digress. Also in this universe humans are called Lifers, there are two types of vampires (Leaguers vs Loners), you don't die when you become a vampire instead your body is "transformed", and there are blood substitutes.

I can honestly say that I liked Morning. He was a good guys, a little flaky, but ultimately good. That was his saving grace for me. I mean everybody wants to be a hero, but few of us a seriously gonna go out there knowing we could lose our lives and do it. Most of us would just wait until we are forced into our flight or fight moments, and react then. Am I right?! Portia, I just did not like at all. All she wanted was a story, and never really cared about Morning. I found her to be selfish, rude, and frankly unnecessarily bitchy.

Lets mention how funny these names are by the way. Morning McCobb, I actually find this one to be pretty unique. However Penny Dredful reminded me of that tv series on HBO or Showtime. So every time this chic was mentioned the actress who plays her popped into my head. Eh what can I say? Sometimes my imagination takes a book off.

Lastly, the love story. It felt forced. Between Morning trying to figure out if he liked Portia, and Portia's selfishness I just couldn't believe these two could ever fall in love. And within a WEEK!

So will I be reading the 2nd book? Nope.

Is three stars being harsh? Nope

Was this an easy read? Yes and no. It kinda dragged in some parts, but the little stories in between made it work.

[Jay · Rating 1 out of 5]

🍷
So I’m salty to all bloody (haha) hell so prepare for many forced straight out of my fangs (haha) puns/jokes. You will be up to your neck (haha) in them.

Alright, fangs (haha) out this sucked (haha). A book this long usually takes me about 4 hours, I sucked it up (HAHA) in an hour and a half; because I was having none of this books bullshit; due to it being so cringe-inducing that it could prove to be fatal levels of cringe. Twilight dumbed down, given a dose of crack, and then slapped by a vegan.

This was not what I was expecting based on the synopsis at all. I was expecting to sink my fangs into (haha) a story told from the point of view of a guy who hated vampires, viewed them as evil soulless bloodsuckers, meeting a harmless vampire; and unlearning all his held prejudices and misgivings about vampires. I would have loved to sink my fangs into (haha) that story. Instead, I got a PR campaign + instalove.

:World Building/Writing:
I had to stop every few bloody (haha) pages to let out a long frustrated sigh.
The only way the humour could have been more awkward, forced, and cringey; is if they seriously used the term “fang-banged/fang-banger/fang-bang”. The chapter titles are all absurd or vampire puns. Occasionally these are slightly funny but mostly not. Even the bloody (haha) glossary has tons of jokes in it. This is coming from some who fangs out (haha) loves puns. Your puns have to be really forced or really suck (haha) for me to hate them. You could literally OD on the amount of comic book references, which definitely wasn’t something I cared for at all.
There are random flip-flops between perspectives; of both different characters and between first and third person. This happens without any warning at all. Quite bloody (haha) confusing.
Book comes up with its own terminology but is quite lazy about it, hence the previously mentioned glossary. Like at least try to put a little bite (haha) into it.
Leaguers society is itself oppressive as hell. Let vampires be their bloody (haha) selves. These guys are basically evangelical Christians. Seeking to convert all others away from “sin”. Not cool. The Loners are far better and more likeable than the Leaguers. Even if they’re constantly naked. Which I mean come on the whole constantly naked thing is such an easy target for some fang-banging (haha) action. Also, muscular doesn’t equal hot; I drastically prefer skinny/boney personally.
I never want to see the word “deuce” again. Random firefighter history is completely random. Honestly, it screams “excuse for a sequel” and that’s kind of a piss off (turns out that was exactly what it was). Who Morning’s creator is is literally just done to bleed out (haha) the plot and add random tension. How utterly riveting or should I say biting (haha).

Here’s a tip PR people do not lie, it’s literally against the code of conduct for them. “Spin-doctor” Are. You. Bloody (haha). Kidding. Me. No, spin doctoring is not what PR people do. PR ethics is not an oxymoron, ethics is literally one of the most important aspects of PR. If you’re gonna have the fangs (haha) to write a book about PR and with a PR professional as one of the main characters you should, I don’t bloody (haha) know, ACTUALLY BLOODY (haha) KNOW ABOUT PR.
Sink your fangs in (haha) and do some bloody (haha) research before you write.

Finally, I know this is said right in the Synopsis but fuck off with the soy. Soy ain’t healthy for an omnivore, it would be flat out bloody (haha) deadly to a carnivore. Just have them drinking animals or willing blood donations.

:Characters:
Morning: Stereotypical loser geek kid obsessed with superheroes. He also nailed himself to a wall; talk about overkill or should I say overbite (haha). Being completely manipulated by politicians and “PR” people. Now in over his neck (haha) famous teen wants to go back to being a nobody. Because life bites (haha) *facepalm*. On a side note, moths are fantastic, I absolutely would like to turn into a moth.

Portia: Insta-love too? Really? Goddamnit. By the books, Twilight Level insta-love. Though unlike Twilight, this author doesn’t have the fangs (haha) to go neck deep (haha) and get some fang-banging (haha) happening. Teenage stereotype. “Don’t turn me until I lose weight” *facepalm*. She’s snarky and, like all vegans should do, is eating meat again; the bloodier (haha) the better. Girl is royally selfish and entitled (but that’s expected from someone who was or is vegan). Also, I’m pretty sure that even in this books timeline child labour is illegal especially when it’s unpaid. Later she becomes a walking blood bag (haha).

Penny: PR person stereotype. When it comes to money and fame, she’s bloodthirsty (haha). Doesn’t really care about much else, complete ass-kisser.

DeThanatos: Enter stereotypical old vampire who is “last true vampire” seeking to kill the new guy. He messed his life up by thinking with his fangs (haha) instead of his brain.

Golpear: Stereotypical stupid henchmen. That’s it, that’s all there is to this character. All bark and no bite (haha). Edd from the lion king has more brain cells and blood cells (haha) than this halfwit.

Birnam: Stereotypical politician. Getting others to do the bloody (haha) dirty work for him and throwing money around. The book rightfully calls him the Trump of vampires.

:Ending:
Wraps it all up neat and tidy with a stupid little cringey fanged (haha) bow. Think of the way every shitty eye-roll inducing teenage romcom ends and that’s what happened here. But with more pigeons and less of a pulse (haha).

:Cover:
So this is quite a tongue in cheek, as is the title. The little smiley face and straw makes it clear this is a humour book, even if the humour sucks (haha). The whole sucking blood words making the title up a straw is far more clever, bloody (haha), and endearing than the entire book. The plain black background is as lazy as most of the puns and references in the book. It’s clear this was written in the time of the Twilight craze. The colour play is absolutely fang-tastic (haha), everything pops and contrasts wonderfully. The title feels like it was chosen because it’s a sorta vampire related joke. But it is quite a hilarious title. Cover has more bite (haha) and blood (haha) than the story, which isn’t saying much.

Overall, don’t waste your bloody (haha) time. This book is an affront to vampire (haha) god and is nothing but pure cringe. You’re better off reading almost anything else, even Twilight would be a better vampire focused literary choice. Rather than this bloodless (haha), bite-less (haha), cold (haha), drained (haha) half to death, barely fanged (haha) bloody (haha) mess.

I had more fun writing this fang forsaken (haha) review than I did sucking up (haha) this bloody (haha) book. This didn’t strike a cord it struck a vein (haha), a very bloody (haha) salty one.

[Mish · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really wanted to give this book atleast a 4 stars but I can't.

I enjoyed this book definitely! It was so fun, stupid, lighthearted. I loved the take on modern vampires. All the technical terms and lore on vamps.

Mornings character is different than I expected. But I still liked his character, especially as he evolved. Portia wasn't an unbearably cringe heroine!

Still overall, I don't find this book that,, special? Nothing pops out. It doesn't have to I don't regret reading it. But this book was so hard to stay engaged in? I constantly found myself having to like push to keep reading. Thinking, "just get to the end of the chapter".

Many moments I loved, many I could do without. Sometimes I'd just have to push a little in books and they get consistent. But man I really had to push until the very VERY end of the book. Wasn't the best.

Ultimately I still liked the book and characters but,, I think 3 stars is ideal.

[Diana · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was definitely different from other vampire books that I have read. Instead of being mysterious and tragic, this story was hilarious. They are basically using this guy as a mascot to reveal to the world that there are vampires. And not only that, for some reason, they have the ability to turn into animals. He's the go to choice because he doesn't have any urges to drink human blood. However, his actual vampire skills are lacking, especially since he turned into a bug to graduate. Throughout, there are the inept and hilarious failures of a vampire hunter and moments of romance. I thought the book was hilarious. Plus, I'm always a sucker for cute little love stories.

[K.D. McQuain · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book. It was on my to read list for a long time and I decided to give it a try when I couldn't continue with the book I had been trying to read, and I'm glad I did. There are some interesting ideas and some funny moments that kept my interest all through. I'm looking forward to seeing where the story goes from here.

[Summer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Meet Morning McCobb:


He use to be a regular guy. You know, into comic books, wanted to be a firefighter, was an orphan. Typical teenager. Until he was bitten by a vampire. Now, he still the same old Morning. The only difference is he's spent the last 10months of his life in the middle of nowhere being taught how to be a normal vampire who doesn't go on blood-sucking rampages and can live among mortals, or as they call us, Lifers. He planned to spend the rest of his life playing video games and repeating the same two grades of high school, until Birnam, the President of Leauger Vampires tells him he wants Morning to be the first vampire ever to out himself to the mortals... This should be fun.

Meet Portia Dredful:


Her mom happens to Penny Dredful and she's a PR- you know a Public Relations Rep. Sounds fun, right? Well, yeah if you like having your home being a revolving door for freaks and geeks. Portia happens to be a recovering vegetarian- what made her do that? She has no idea. She also happens to be in the middle of making a movie to get her into film school. Only she still doesn't have a subject. But after her mom brings Morning home, that may change. Well, it would if she hadn't been completely rude to him. Her and her big mouth. She can't help it though. Not when your motto for guys is "Assume the Worst." Especially, when they are your mom's clients, and they claim to be vampires. Is this guy kidding? He doesn't even look like a vampire. Maybe a slacker vampire, but not the kind she's read about.




“How to see a vampire in three easy steps:
1. Get up.
2. Find a mirror.
3. Look at your first vampire.”

But after Morning proves he's a vampire, by shape-shifting, things get quite interesting. Now Portia must play nice in order to get the story she wants for film school, but after giving Morning the third degree, and finding out exactly what he is and how this happened to him, what story does she want exactly?

“I got bitten by fangs that went to sink'n'drink, but somewhere between swilling'n'killing, the vampire messed up and turned me into a big fat mistake.”

Portrait of the Con Artist as a Young Man, Out of the Casket, or Morning McCobb: The Jackie Robinson of the Vampire League.

However, this whole vampire thing is starting to get a little out of hand. Especially when the Loner vampires, the bad guys, find out about Morning's coming out.

"Your mother can handle all the fan security she wants, but I have to handle all the slayers that come at me."
"Why?"
"I can't explain. But you have to promise me, not even your mother can know about this."

But not all bad comes from one fateful staking, which should definitely be classified as a hate crime. When Portia removes the stake from Morning, and makes the promise, stakes aren't the only thing flying.





"On a scale of one to ten?"
He murmured through a clenched jaw, "This is dangerous."
Her eyes twinkled with mischief. "I'll take that as a ten." As Portia moved in for another kiss, Morning broke away and stumbled toward the door... Portia was mystified. On the one-to-ten scale, they'd been pushing 11."



As their journey continues, and temptation presents itself, this story can either have a happy ending or it can go right down the tubes. The decision is up to them. Their happily ever after isn't the only thing at stake. Everyone else's is too.

I actually liked this book. It is NOTHING like the Vampire Academy Series, the Twilight Saga, or the Vampire Diaries, which are all some of my favorites. This story is completely different. Morning is not drop dead sexy and Portia isn't dying to be a vampire, no pun intended. They're just normal teens who don't like each other per se. To me it was a nice twist on an over done subject. Everyone writes about vampires these days and this wasn't the same cliche' nonsense you usually find. If you want different then this is definitely your ticket. :)

[Kristi · Rating 3 out of 5]

At sixteen, Morning McCobb is a recent graduate of the IVL. No, Morning isn’t a genius. He is a sixteen-year-old vampire just graduating from the International Vampire League. But this League of Vampires isn’t what you would expect, their motto is to "drink culture, not life." They exist peacefully by blending in with humanity that is until now.

Morning McCobb is going to be the first to "come out of the closet." Morning is the kind of vampire the League has been waiting for. Young, nonthreatening, the kid is a sangv! Sangv translation: blood virgin, he’s never drunk human blood. In fact Morning has never drank blood belonging to a living organism, human or animal. He drinks Blood-lite, a soy-based blood substitute!

To help with his coming out process, Morning is teamed up with Penny Dredful, the owner of PR Agency. It is her responsibility to turn Morning’s fifteen minutes of fame into 24/7. Credibility is the least of their worries, once Morning pulls a couple of CD’s (cell differentiation) and turns from a boy into a dolphin, back into a boy and then into a tree and back again, most people are believers. But not everyone is a Morning McCobb fan, there is a group of vampires called Loners that haven’t conformed to the Leaguer way and still feed on humans. They want Morning eliminated before he reveals all of their secrets. Is the world ready for Morning McCobb, a real vampire?

Suck It Up is another rendition, to the growing array of young adult vampire novels. Meehl’s take on the vampire lore is interesting, refreshing and humorous! Debunking the myth of vampires and sun as "solar phobia" as well as their fear of garlic, hello bad breath! I also enjoyed the references to super heroes and comic characters’ being a fan of the genre myself! Morning wants to be a super-hero as well as a firefighter, after his experience from 9/11. The characters are original, although I didn’t hold a strong liking to any one of them. Overall, Suck It Up was funny and original, and it is a book that I think boys as well as girls would like. I would especially recommend this book to readers who enjoy the vampire sub genre!

[Aaron · Rating 3 out of 5]

Morning McCobb has had a tough life. He has spent most of it in and out of the St. Giles Group Home for Boys and in foster homes. The only person who seemed to really stick around is Sister Flora, who ran the group home. When he is 16, he is finally placed with a good family, but things go horribly wrong on Thanksgiving Day, when a vampire strikes. His foster parents die, and he finds himself a vampire.

He ends up landing up in special training through the International League, where he really is different. Rather than being a little older and with model looks and appearance, he was not pre-selected to be a vampire. His accidental survival means that he is a geek with superhero dreams. Upon his graduation from training, he is given an opportunity to be the first vampire superhero when the League decides that they want to come out ... of the casket. They have decided that he would be the perfect person to be an example. Besides his average looks, he also has a dislike for blood, preferring to drink the artificial kind. As a result, he would probably be less threatening.

To help out with his introduction to the world, the League has hired Penny Dredful, a public relations maven, to orchestrate events. Along with her daughter Portia, who has hopes of a movie career of her own, Penny sets up a series of events that brings Morning into superstardom, which really takes on the form of a media frenzy.

As you can see from the description, the author is really playing up the humor aspect from the underdog protagonist to the playful names. Unfortunately, I find that the humor often falls a bit flat, and there really does not seem to be enough of a plot to support a whole novel in the manner that it is being presented. I really liked the concept behind the story, and the characters were interesting, but they were also really two dimensional. Even the name-play is more groaners than witty. For example, Morning is a character bringing about a new day for vampires.

Don't get me wrong. It is not that I didn't like the book. It was really just missing something, though I am not sure I could my finger on exactly what that is.

[Ron Arden]

Morning McCobb is a teen-aged vampire with a difference. He has never tasted blood, human or otherwise. He is a vegan vampire and drinks Blood-Lite, a soy-based blood alternative. With that as a premise, the book only gets better and better.

I loved this book, but then I love Christopher Moore's "Bloodsucking Fiends" and "You Suck" and of course Terry Pratchett's many vampires. The humor in this is great as Morning, a bit of an outcast, tries to graduate from Leaguer school and fly under the radar. All of the Leaguers take a pledge to manage their blood lust and only drink blood alternatives from "milked" animals. Because of his somewhat unique status of never having tasted blood, he is recruited by the head of the IVLeague (International Vampire League) to become a poster boy for Worldwide Out Day. The dream of Luther Birnam (IVL president) is for the world to see that vampires are just another minority who deserve to live among Lifers (people who are not immortal like vampires) in peace and harmony. Luther puts Morning in the hands of Penny Dredful, a PR expert, to present Morning to the world. This is a test run preparing people for Worldwide Out Day. Morning meets Penny's daughter, Portia, who's opinion of teenage boys is a bit negative, and the humor goes into full gear.

As one would expect, there are older vampires (loners) who want to stick to the old ways. They want to drink blood from victims, stay hidden and keep up all the old stereotypes. There is the inevitable showdown between the old and new vampires and of course good must prevail.

For all of you who have had it up to here with the teen angst of vampires in Twilight and other "serious" books, this is a great antidote.

[Raina · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not great...especially now with so many vampire books on the market to choose from and compare to. This one is unfortunately just sort of okay across the board...it's a little humorous but not very, the characters are sort of interesting yet not quite likable, and the opposite attract love story lacked bite.

True, it's not your average vampire story which is why I picked this book up after reading the summary hoping it would be a vampiric parody, however, there are so many puns and bad vampire references that I strained my self rolling my eyes so much!

This story is about a 16 year old boy named.......MORNING. Yep, his name is Morning, which is the first of many names that gets completely beaten to a pulp. Morning was bitten and turned into a vampire. The story begins just as he graduates from graduated from the IVLeague finding that the school's principal has a job for him. He will be the first vampire to come out or expose himself and his powers to humans in hope of vampires and humans living together in harmony. He ends up temporarily living with a woman named Penny Dredful. No, I'm not kidding. Her name is Penny DREDFUL...which is just, well, dredfulas is her daughter, Portia Dredful. Oh! I almost forgot. Morning drinks Blood-Lite. Yep. He sure does. Synthetic soy blood called Blood-Lite. (SOY blood?!?!?) All in all it was just way to punny for my tastes and just seemed forced overall. I even found myself rushing through the last 100 pages and honestly can't say I'd recommend it.

[Bailee]

Suck it up is a really great book. This story is in the perspective of the main character, Morning McCobb. Morning is just recently graduating from International Vampire League. When they graduate they have to prove that they can shift into their chosen animal. Morning is the youngest out of everyone since he transformed into a vampire at an earlier age. He gets made fun of most of the time for being so small. He is also more of the geeky kind. After they graduate they are sent around the world to live at places and go to school for a short amount of time. Morning wants to become a super hero but it is hard for him since he is a vampire. He also falls in love with a girl named Portia Dredful. This is bad that he likes her because he has to keep himself from sucking her blood. This book is filled with many adventures and near death experiences.

This is a great book for mid-teens and teens. Even though Morning goes through a lot of difficult struggles with his size and personality he is still another teenager. This is a fiction book due to the fact it is about vampires. Readers who enjoy creative minded books would really enjoy this.

I give this book 4 out of 5 stars because it is written well and has character. There is many scenarios in this book that keep you wanting more. I really enjoyed this book.

[WillowBe · Rating 4 out of 5]

At last, a romantic vampire book written by a guy. I think I prefer guys to write about male protag and vice versa. I liked this funny little book. This is another book I was able to download onto my ereader from my local library. Yea! It was different. Good world-building, I liked the vampires without the old-world hang-ups. And there is obviously the "seed" for a sequel. I thought this conceit was quite clever, as it harks back to several Dracula movies. I took it as a homage, not lack of creativity.

However, I think this might be kind of intenst for anyone not in high school.And I must say it's refreshing to see a girl, who's like a real teen. She's really rather a bitch, opinonated and conceited. In many ways unlikeable. This is defintely no Bella! The writer went rather overboard in the climactic scene- I can't see Portia just reaming Morning out when he was already so low. And I'm not sure how I feel about the message- if you crush a guy's ego beneath your high-helled sandal, he will snap and woe be unto you. Or a related thought: when you forget to be careful around potentially dangerous males, you will get hurt. Or the cynicism of the adults. Of course, this is what made this teen book interesting to me.

I look forward to the sequel!

[Be · Rating 5 out of 5]

OK so where to Begin with this story....
The only way I know how is to give you guys a scenario,
Have you ever smelled really strong perfume and all you wanted was a breath of undisturbed fresh air? So you run from the stinky smelling perfumed gussied person and practically through your self out the nearest window just to get the gush of fresh air so you wont recoil.

Well this is what Suck It Up is, after reading eons of YA Vampire books and being shot with literature puke everything I read the line "Soul mates" or "Star-cross lovers." This book was a true detox. In a genre that has been rapped so much you would think there would be blood seeping from every page of every vampire romance book. Brian Meehl is incredibly original,witty,and simply a breath of fresh air.

The main character Morning Mccobb, yup that's the dudes name is cool,Funny,Sweet,Witty,Charming, and an all around GEEK and I feel in love. He reminded me of Michael Cera (Scott Pilgrim vs. The World). If you need a vaca from the whole vampire in love with puny human, immortal soul mates bit pick up this book. I would say for every Vampire lover THIS IS A NECESSARY READ ( and YES the capes where necessary). LOL.

[Marie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Like a lot of readers, I'm a little "vampired out" these days. But when I read the jacket copy of SUCK IT UP, I was hooked. This book promised to be funny and clever and different. I'm happy to report it totally delivered. Morning McCobb has the misfortune to have become immortal at one of the most awkward times in a person's life...that acne prone insecure and awkward part of his adolescence. And he's frozen there forever. Yeah, I liked him instantly. When he becomes the poster-child for the vampire community, which wants to present a kinder gentler image to the world, you can just imagine the ridiculous moments that will come. Well, actually you can't. And that is part of the fun of this book. It's unpredictable, and well-written, and so entertaining. This book isn't broody and angsty, instead, think of it like the soy-based blood substitute that peaceful Morning McCobb drinks every day: Blood Lite.

[Xustine Yee · Rating 3 out of 5]

Suck it up by Brian Meehl is about about a boy, Morning McCobb, and how he gets a chance of lifetime to live up to his dream from before he became a vampire. He is different from all the other vampires because he doesnt like the taste of human blood. He craves only vegetarian ones, which he creatively calls "Blood LIte".

Since he doesnt crave human blood, he is be able to interact with the human race with the help of Penny Dredful, his human manager.

This was an "ALRIGHT" book. nothing special stood out to me, but i did enjoy all the creativity Brian Meehl comes up with. He used fictional made up stories to complete questions that we have,
ex:: all humans we're vampires before. When in their mothers stomach, they fed off their mothers using their umbilical cord. when detached, they are not vampires anymore, but just humans.

[Robin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well, I finished reading this one on my lunch hour today. Although it's fantasy since vampires don't really exist, this is done in a very realistic fashion with the protagonist, Morning McCobb, having grown up in an orphanage in NYC, goes with a foster family for Thanksgiving and then gets "turned" into a vampire! And then he finds himself inside Leaguer Mountain where vampires are educated on how to assimilate themselves into society. So he's all set to just continue living his life by blending in when Luther Birnam offers him the chance to be something more than just a vampire living in obscurity, he can be a superhero and represent vampires and "come out" to the human world! And that, of course, is easier said than done.

[Wendy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This not-so-sexy or powerful or anything special young vampire is trapped in his lanky teen years- never to mature, never to achieve his dreams. To his suprise, he has been chosen to be the poster boy for the new generation of soy-blood drinking vamps that would like to come out to of the coffin so-to-speak...maybe even have their own vampire pride parade.

The problem is that not every vamp wants to come out. In fact, one is more than ready to kill to keep things as they are.

I was really pleased with this book. Rather than being cheesy, the author was able to keep the plot engaging and entertaining throughout. I will be looking forward to the next installment of this new, and totally different hero.