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Finding Tipperary Mary
Finding Tipperary Mary [Hardcover] Phyllis Whitsell
288 pages, Hardcover
First published November 28, 2015
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 80 reviews
April 14, 2025
Not really sure what to say about this one! It was a great story idea and I felt the author was having a frank conversation, however, the writing style left something to be desired. Too much repetition as well as putting blame on others as to why Phyllis` life was so sad. In a nut shell, it was a nice story but poorly written! Too much bitterness! Only 2 stars from me.
July 24, 2020
This was a touching story about a woman who seeks her birth mother. Both women have sad stories and it was a poignant read. However, I did feel that Whitsell was withholding a part of herself in the narrative. Consequently, I felt disconnected from her and with the feeling that something was missing.
Whitsell’s story is sad from start to finish. Having lived her early years in an orphanage until she was adopted at four years old, her new parents were not the image of the happy, childhood home that she naturally craved. It is difficult to not feel sorry for Whitsell, particularly when she describes the relationship she had with her adopted mother, and the overwhelming loneliness she suffered as a child. I could not imagine what Whitsell went through and can only hope that her experience is few and far between in terms of adoption.
When Whitsell seeks her mother, the narrative takes a turn to explore how she copes with seeing her mother in such a deteriorated state. It was from these moments that I felt most distanced from the narrator because I thought I was mainly reading about her journeys to and from her mother. In other words, I did not feel that Whitsell truly revealed herself because it read more like a description of her travels. I think I was hoping for more depth in describing her encounters with her mother and maybe more of an internal exploration of feelings.
A touching story from the beginning, I felt like Whitsell’s story offered closure at the end. She showed a natural keenness to do right by her children and a desire to ensure her birth mother remained proud of her. It was quite an emotional finish and I think the Epilogue showed Whitsell’s true nature; if only this had been clearer in the rest of her story.
This book promotes the importance of family, love and honesty. I think it would appeal to a broad range of readers, leaving them considering their own relationships with parents and children alike. Thought-provoking and a story of bravery, I can only applaud Whitsell for her strength during such an emotionally fraught time.
With thanks to Mirror books for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Whitsell’s story is sad from start to finish. Having lived her early years in an orphanage until she was adopted at four years old, her new parents were not the image of the happy, childhood home that she naturally craved. It is difficult to not feel sorry for Whitsell, particularly when she describes the relationship she had with her adopted mother, and the overwhelming loneliness she suffered as a child. I could not imagine what Whitsell went through and can only hope that her experience is few and far between in terms of adoption.
When Whitsell seeks her mother, the narrative takes a turn to explore how she copes with seeing her mother in such a deteriorated state. It was from these moments that I felt most distanced from the narrator because I thought I was mainly reading about her journeys to and from her mother. In other words, I did not feel that Whitsell truly revealed herself because it read more like a description of her travels. I think I was hoping for more depth in describing her encounters with her mother and maybe more of an internal exploration of feelings.
A touching story from the beginning, I felt like Whitsell’s story offered closure at the end. She showed a natural keenness to do right by her children and a desire to ensure her birth mother remained proud of her. It was quite an emotional finish and I think the Epilogue showed Whitsell’s true nature; if only this had been clearer in the rest of her story.
This book promotes the importance of family, love and honesty. I think it would appeal to a broad range of readers, leaving them considering their own relationships with parents and children alike. Thought-provoking and a story of bravery, I can only applaud Whitsell for her strength during such an emotionally fraught time.
With thanks to Mirror books for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
September 3, 2016
I slogged my way through this book in hopes the whining and blaming everyone for her unhappiness would turn into a meaningful ending. I feel like I missed the point of her writing this story as it seems like it was written more as a vendetta against her adopted mother and sister than trying to show the world through the eyes of an adopted child.
November 18, 2017
Really poorly written - far too much repetition and the constant use of 'was' made the book clunky. You were just told "I was sad, I was angry" etc. etc. your were never shown the story.
March 12, 2016
I might not know Phyillis Whitsell, but I'm pretty sure she just sat down to tea with me and told me a story. HER story. And I was absorbed in it. I have an immense amount of admiration for her spirit.
As much as I enjoyed having Phyllis tell me her story through written word, I think that perhaps some emotion was lost in this writing style. I much prefer a story that is shown as oppose to told....and yet I was engaged from the first page to the last.
Several parts of the book had me wondering what I would do, some parts had me comparing to stories and feelings I hear from my husband. I suspect this is a book that I will think of in months or years to come.
(as a side note, I have to give a shout out to the cover of this book - it has to be my favourite book cover ! )
As much as I enjoyed having Phyllis tell me her story through written word, I think that perhaps some emotion was lost in this writing style. I much prefer a story that is shown as oppose to told....and yet I was engaged from the first page to the last.
Several parts of the book had me wondering what I would do, some parts had me comparing to stories and feelings I hear from my husband. I suspect this is a book that I will think of in months or years to come.
(as a side note, I have to give a shout out to the cover of this book - it has to be my favourite book cover ! )
December 24, 2024
I genuinely enjoyed reading this. There are some judgemental reviews saying how poorly written this book is but you have to remember Phyllis is telling her story and not that of somebody else. She's explaining how she felt at certain times of her life and bearing all. She's experienced hard times I'm very fortunate to have not endured myself and nobody should ever tell somebody else how they should feel. Phyllis sounds like a remarkable woman and I wish her well x
January 22, 2020
My Mum wanted me to read this so I did, as she is not a big reader and I was interested to see what she'd enjoyed. It was a sad story told by the daughter looking for her mother, I love 'Long Lost Families' and so this was a familiar tale, Phyllis was adopted, went looking for her birth Mother and then found her.
February 22, 2022
Nice story but poorly written
February 18, 2020
Poorly written
Many years ago, I read ‘Angela’s Ashes’ by Frank McCourt. It was a real eye-opener for me but also written with great humour and style.
Then I read his follow-up book, ‘Tis.’
What a disappointment; it was overwhelmingly full of self-pity and seemed to have been written by someone else entirely.
I found this book the same.
Having seen it was shown as a Sunday Times best seller, I looked forward to it.
It seems to me that there were thousands of Catholic children given up for adoption in the 20th Century, and for many reasons. Not least of which was being born out of wedlock.
While it’s heart-breaking that the full extent of this practice has only relatively recently started to come to the fore, and there’s absolutely no doubt that a large number (if not the majority) of the blameless children (who survived) subsequently lead dreadful and difficult lives, this book really doesn’t help their overall cause.
I found it full of self-pity, with the author explaining as an adult, emotions she felt as a newly-adopted child very poorly.
I don’t doubt that she had a truly dreadful time of it, but the way it’s been written is, quite frankly, just a platform for her own self pity.
Dreadful book and I’m sorry I wasted my money on it.
Many years ago, I read ‘Angela’s Ashes’ by Frank McCourt. It was a real eye-opener for me but also written with great humour and style.
Then I read his follow-up book, ‘Tis.’
What a disappointment; it was overwhelmingly full of self-pity and seemed to have been written by someone else entirely.
I found this book the same.
Having seen it was shown as a Sunday Times best seller, I looked forward to it.
It seems to me that there were thousands of Catholic children given up for adoption in the 20th Century, and for many reasons. Not least of which was being born out of wedlock.
While it’s heart-breaking that the full extent of this practice has only relatively recently started to come to the fore, and there’s absolutely no doubt that a large number (if not the majority) of the blameless children (who survived) subsequently lead dreadful and difficult lives, this book really doesn’t help their overall cause.
I found it full of self-pity, with the author explaining as an adult, emotions she felt as a newly-adopted child very poorly.
I don’t doubt that she had a truly dreadful time of it, but the way it’s been written is, quite frankly, just a platform for her own self pity.
Dreadful book and I’m sorry I wasted my money on it.
November 10, 2016
An ok memoir, probably closer to a 2.5. The first half of the book was quite grating....a constant criticism of her adopted mom who could do nothing right. Fortunately she grew up somewhat in the second half of the book. One would have thought she would have developed more compassion and a better understanding of the situation after she had children herself...but if she did, it didn't come out in the book.
October 9, 2018
This was in interesting story. I was glad Phyllis made peace with her situation by the end. The chapters of her young years with her adopted family where she felt an outsider were a bit dramatic- such dynamics take place between biological siblings too. Good read though. Hard to put down.
June 28, 2016
First few pages was a tear jerker but as it progressed I couldn't put it down. Love the idea how there were pictures of the family. Makes you think how someone adopted would feel.
Just remember BE GRATEFUL FIR WHAT YOU HAVE and follow your instincts. I highly recommend it
Just remember BE GRATEFUL FIR WHAT YOU HAVE and follow your instincts. I highly recommend it
July 16, 2016
A heart wrenching story of a woman who finds her biological mother, but because of certain circumstances cannot identify that she is her daughter who had been given up for adoption.
March 22, 2016
Poorly written story of a woman looking for, and finding her birth mother.
October 18, 2021
A memoir and not a very good one. Reads like it should have been simply self-published and distributed to close family members only. Subject seemed interesting at first - 8 month old girl given up to an orphanage, later adopted, later on the search for her long-lost mother. But the delivery of the narrative wasn't compelling and I just wasn't interested in the author's growing up years.
So after the opening chapter, you can skip the next 100 pages. I then skimmed to see what the mother and child reunion would be like and again, not compelling. She cared for her mum under false pretenses for 8 years and never told her mum that she was the daughter. Then she didn't visit her mum for another few years only to find out that Mary had gone into a nursing home with dementia. So there was no real reunion.
I was hoping for some history on orphanages in Ireland and England as well, considering the scandals that have come to light in recent years about their abuses. But this is just one person's particular story, meaningful for some, I'm sure, but not "the international bestseller" the book jacket claims it to be.
So after the opening chapter, you can skip the next 100 pages. I then skimmed to see what the mother and child reunion would be like and again, not compelling. She cared for her mum under false pretenses for 8 years and never told her mum that she was the daughter. Then she didn't visit her mum for another few years only to find out that Mary had gone into a nursing home with dementia. So there was no real reunion.
I was hoping for some history on orphanages in Ireland and England as well, considering the scandals that have come to light in recent years about their abuses. But this is just one person's particular story, meaningful for some, I'm sure, but not "the international bestseller" the book jacket claims it to be.
September 27, 2021
What a heartbreaking story! Phyllis Whitsell was put into an orphanage at 8 months, adopted at 4 and only began looking for her birth mother at age 23. Her discovery was one most people would run away from. Her mother was a total alcoholic living in squalor and was known as a loud aggressive drunk. Yet Phyllis who worked as a district nurse decided to visit her mother in her work role. She did this without ever revealing her true identity. When she did finally tell her mother the truth, her mother was in the depths of dementia & did not comprehend the truth. How lucky Phyllis was to have such caring children especially her own daughter Hannah, who came to her grandmothers funeral. A sad and simple story with so many poignant details.
August 9, 2019
This book is the story of how Phyllis an orphan who was adopted finds her biological mum Bridget. Most people would have probably turned and ran when they realised that their mum was an alcoholic and always in some sort of trouble with the police, and had served time in jail for her drunken and disorderly conduct when stealing items.
Not Phyllis she found a way to give her mum some love and care when she needed it the most....even if she didn’t realise that it was her daughter visiting her under the guise of her employment as a district nurse.
Lovely story.
Not Phyllis she found a way to give her mum some love and care when she needed it the most....even if she didn’t realise that it was her daughter visiting her under the guise of her employment as a district nurse.
Lovely story.
September 19, 2019
An extraordinary book of a story which would be unbelievable if it wasnt true.
Following a life from difficult adoption through to tracing her birth mother, via having contact with her mother in the health service without actually knowing who she was. An extraordinary eight years of caring for her on a professional basis (albeit unofficially) whilst holding onto the secret knowledge of their relationship until it was revealed too late to be understood.
A heartbreaking story for all involved.
Following a life from difficult adoption through to tracing her birth mother, via having contact with her mother in the health service without actually knowing who she was. An extraordinary eight years of caring for her on a professional basis (albeit unofficially) whilst holding onto the secret knowledge of their relationship until it was revealed too late to be understood.
A heartbreaking story for all involved.
September 16, 2019
Amazing story
Wow, what can I say ! I thought the first book was awesome but this one was the icing on the cake. I felt like I knew what Bridget was going through having her kids taken away from her as I myself had to have my child adopted many years ago when I was very young but thankfully he found me 6 yrs ago and it was a happy ending for me but not so for poor Bridget. Thank you for giving us these beautiful stories ,I'll definitely be reading a lot more.
Wow, what can I say ! I thought the first book was awesome but this one was the icing on the cake. I felt like I knew what Bridget was going through having her kids taken away from her as I myself had to have my child adopted many years ago when I was very young but thankfully he found me 6 yrs ago and it was a happy ending for me but not so for poor Bridget. Thank you for giving us these beautiful stories ,I'll definitely be reading a lot more.
June 9, 2018
Brilliantly told!
I felt so sorry that Bridget didn't get to find out Phyllis was her daughter. Such a shame Phyllis wasn't able to tell her earlier. I'm very glad Phyllis and her adopted Mother became so close. Lovely, true story. Couldn't put the book, or, in my case, my phone, down!
I felt so sorry that Bridget didn't get to find out Phyllis was her daughter. Such a shame Phyllis wasn't able to tell her earlier. I'm very glad Phyllis and her adopted Mother became so close. Lovely, true story. Couldn't put the book, or, in my case, my phone, down!
March 14, 2019
I had never heard of this author before picking up the book, but I can safely say that I'm a convert now. I thoroughly enjoyed this read and felt the emotions coming across from within. It had everything to make me feel a rollercoaster of emotions throughout. I look forward to reading the rest of the authors work. I would recommend giving this book a chance if you're a fan of the genre.
April 30, 2020
Sad however uplifting in parts
Would have liked Phylis to have a happier ending.
But t least she did get to meet her mother, although her mother wasn't aware. Reading between the lines her mother didn't have a great start to life. She did try to look after Phylis for the first 8 months of her life. It must have broken her to give her child up.
Would have liked Phylis to have a happier ending.
But t least she did get to meet her mother, although her mother wasn't aware. Reading between the lines her mother didn't have a great start to life. She did try to look after Phylis for the first 8 months of her life. It must have broken her to give her child up.
February 14, 2017
This was an amazing story of a woman looking for her birth mother - despite the heartache it wasn't a book to cry with but was so full of different emotions. The writer earns my respect for the way she has described her feelings and the turmoil she was living with - I highly recommend this book
June 14, 2017
Really good account of one womans search to find her birth mother. Phyllis even had to hide behind her profession as a district nurse to gradually get to know the difficult character who gave her up as a baby. Well written and good to read a true story.
June 14, 2018
Beautiful
I could not put this book down,Phyllis I think you are a very kind caring and beautiful lady. Thank you for such a beautiful book. I'm sure your mother's very proud of you. God bless you.
I could not put this book down,Phyllis I think you are a very kind caring and beautiful lady. Thank you for such a beautiful book. I'm sure your mother's very proud of you. God bless you.
October 11, 2018
A colleague lent me this when she noticed how much I love reading. I don't usually go for this sort of thing but there was more to Phyllis' story than I was expecting. On a similar theme, the book Philomena is a better choice.
February 17, 2020
Like many have pointed out, poorly written and far too repetitive, I found myself skimming through sentences. Also found long periods of time between visits to her mother strange, and the lack of appreciation to ' John' who helped her. Couldn't wait to finish it , hoping it would impove,
April 19, 2020
Captivating and sad story. I couldn’t put it down.
A sad and intriguing story of Phyllis and her mother Bridget. I felt Phyllis was talking to me and telling her story from her heart.
A sad and intriguing story of Phyllis and her mother Bridget. I felt Phyllis was talking to me and telling her story from her heart.
August 20, 2021
Loved this book from start to finish and really had such empathy for Phyllis. Very loving towards the end and it did make my eyes leak. Would have loved to have known more about her siblings but maybe that might be a other book if decides to search for them
November 27, 2023
Read this book in a matter of hours such an amazing but sad story a huge rollercoaster of emotions. Phyllis is such a wonderful writer and tells her story with the upmost respect really an incredibly forgiving and amazing woman loved it definitely read this book
Displaying 1 - 30 of 80 reviews