The Bitch Is Back: Older, Wiser, and (Getting) Happier

by Cathi Hanauer

More than a decade after the New York Times bestselling anthology The Bitch in the House spoke up loud and clear for a generation of young women, nine of the original contributors are back—along with sixteen captivating new voices—sharing their ruminations from an older, stronger, and wiser perspective about love, sex, work, family, independence, body-image, health, and aging: the critical flash points of women’s lives today.

"Born out of anger," the essays in The Bitch in the House chronicled the face of womanhood at the beginning of a new millennium. Now those funny, smart, passionate contributors—today less bitter and resentful, and more confident, competent, and content—capture the spirit of postfeminism in this equally provocative, illuminating, and compelling companion anthology.

Having aged into their forties, fifties, and sixties, these "bitches"—bestselling authors, renowned journalists, and critically acclaimed novelists—are back . . . and better than ever. In The Bitch Is Back, Cathi Hanauer, Kate Christensen, Sarah Crichton, Debora Spar, Ann Hood, Veronica Chambers, and nineteen other women offer unique views on womanhood and feminism today. Some of the "original bitches" (OBs) revisit their earlier essays to reflect on their previous selves. All reveal how their lives have changed in the intervening years—whether they stayed coupled, left marriages, or had affairs; developed cancer or other physical challenges; coped with partners who strayed, died, or remained faithful; became full-time wage earners or homemakers; opened up their marriages; remained childless or became parents; or experienced other meaningful life transitions.

As a "new wave" of feminists begins to take center stage, this powerful, timely collection sheds a much-needed light on both past and present, offering understanding, compassion, and wisdom for modern women’s lives, all the while pointing toward the exciting possibilities of tomorrow.

Genres: Nonfiction, Essays, Feminism, Memoir, Relationships, Short Stories, Anthologies

368 pages, Hardcover

First published September 27, 2016

Reviews

[Elyse Walters · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really like *Cathi Hanauer*, editor of “The Bitch in the House” - and “The Bitch is Back”.
Having read both these books now (plus “The Bastard on the Couch”),
I’d say the ‘strength’ behind these authors short story contributions is definitely *Cathi Hanauer*.

In “The Bitch In The House”...
Professional authors offered up their truth about sex, marriage, motherhood, work, and frustrations.

In “The Bitch is Back” ... nine of the same professional authors have returned, plus new authors- - older - midlife - to offer thoughts - on aging - their growth, thoughts about appearance, infidelity, cancer, empty nesters, giving back to society, solitude, friendships, their parents, adult children, work, and life lessons learned.

The first story by Cathi Hanauer was my favorite.
Funny, ....but also very thought provoking!!!

One of the stories was by a female professional College President: ( my least favorite)...
....a medical doctor called her “stupid”. I totally agreed with the doctor.
This bright feminist- was so obsessed with ‘beatifying’
herself ... wearing stilettos with a ‘bad ankle’, getting Botox, and hormone pills to help intervene with slowing down the aging process.
Frankly - she was boring!!! I just didn’t care about her ‘need’ and desire to wear high heels! She literally injured her ankle more by doing things she was doing.
She justified beauty ...
BECAUSE she had brains???
The entire story was kinda thoughtless and indulgent.

Other stories ‘were’ good...
....a couple of interesting stories about sex & sex statistics in heterosexual marriages. Truthful personal - a variety of issues were brought up.

The overall collection were a ‘mixed bag’.
Some stories great...
One really bad...
And others pretty good...

Kudos to Cathi Hanauer... I think she’s awesome!!

3.5 rating

[Annk · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book; bad title. Essays from women about finding happiness post-50. It's a sequel to a book about younger women (The Bitch in the House), which I didn't read. But this books stands well on its own. Stories abound of women who decide never to marry, others who decide they will after all, women who have or decide not to have children, women in abusive relationships, women in healthy relationships, women in healthy relationships with men and women in healthy relationships with women. All the topics are covered: money, sex, career, kids, cancer. The stories touch on questions you want to ask, but wouldn't (do couples stay together when one changes sex, and ... how does that WORK?!). And brings up issues you might never have encountered (life as a Muslim whose marriage was arranged ... at age 14!). Some of the essays were very relevant to me; others completely foreign. All were fascinating.

[Rachel León]

The collection is a follow-up to a book published over ten years ago called The Bitch In the House (which I haven't read). I was excited to see some familiar names on the list of contributors, including two writers I love--Jennifer Finney Boylan and Kate Christensen. The book tackles issues like the decisions to have children--or not--and to marry--or not, sex, motherhood, and coming to peace with one's life.

[Anna]

Review forthcoming in Library Journal. I struggled with this book and I think in large part this is because it is not a book written for me. What brings these essays together is a question about women in "middle age" (late thirties to early sixties) making major life changes toward what they hope will be greater happiness -- changes in their inner perspective, in their personal actions, in their relationships, and so forth. While there is a scattering of difference -- a lesbian couple here, a black voice there, a Muslim contributor, a woman scraping by on poverty-level wages -- the overwhelming majority of the writerly voices are white, upper-middle class women in primary relationships with men. Most, though not all, are parenting. Many seem deeply unhappy with their relationship options. As an anthology, this book had a few essays that charmed, moved, or otherwise spoke to me -- and not all of them were essays that I could relate to through lived experience. One of the most powerful pieces, I though, was an essay by a happily-partnered woman struggling to set boundaries with her ageing mother who refused to seek treatment for her mental health issues. Overall, though, I felt this book mostly documented how far we haven't come in addressing sexism and ageism in our culture, and how woefully we under-support even couples with ample resources as they try to thrive as human beings in the context of parenting. With one or two delightful exceptions, these essays document the toll (acknowledged by social scientists at the population level) that becoming a parent takes on the happiness of straight couples, and sometimes queer couples too, in the absence of social supports for dependent care. The lack of socialized support, persistent internalized narratives of sex difference, and poor communication between partners combines in many of these narratives into a toxic stew that leads to everyone's unhappiness. Perhaps unfortunately, the personal-essay format leads to the feeling that solutions are individual self-improvement or endurance rather than collective change.

[Kim Gardner · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book had a much different tone then the first. I read it in a day. I couldn't get enough of their personal stories! My husband would frown at the cover and just kind of shake his head, sure it was a bunch of man bashing. I kept telling him it wasn't. It was just about women and how they have dealt with their decisions. I was happy to see the few authors who contributed to the first and interested in the new ones. I was so intrigued by all the pseudonyms--who could it be?

Kudos to Hanauer for following up 15 years later. We all really do get a new perspective as time goes on. The first book was much angrier and frustrated. This one was more peaceful and assured. I liked it.

[Amy Morfas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Recommend it! Strongly encourage checking out this book, a series of essays by women "of a certain age" navigating the waters of life. Stories of love, work, children, infidelity, illness, having "work" done, aging alone, aging bodies and sexuality, second (and third and fourth) chances, etc. Definitely shows that there's no roadmap for life!

[Laura · Rating 2 out of 5]

A bit of overkill here. Many essays about white, upper class women and the problems they face relating to marriage, career, sex, aging, etc., a few of which were interesting. Mostly I forgot about each woman's story as soon as it was over.

[Kes · Rating 4 out of 5]

The value of this book comes from the first person perspectives: they've been there, they've done that. I loved so many of the articles, though I might be a bit too young to appreciate the fullness of what was written.

The first section was about midlife.

Five Crucial Things the Fifty-Three-Year-Old Bitch Knows That the Thirty-Nine-Year-Old Bitch Didn't (Yet) by Pam Houston was about someone learning to be by herself. Her comments that being smart was not the only thing resonated with me - I liked the comparison with being wise, the idea being that after you've forgotten the banks of stored knowledge, what's left is being wise (through intuition).

Vagina Notwithstanding by Jennifer Fianey Boylan was a trans-woman's reflection on her marriage. I loved the comment that:

"But Jenny, don't you want more, sometimes? More than what you've got?
I thought of a line from a movie a friend of mine had written. "Well," I said, "no one ever wants less."

I enjoyed the episodic writing in this piece.

Gone Girl: What I (Don't) Owe My Mother by Anna March was someone's reflections on her (abusive) mother and setting boundaries.

Wrinkles in Time. Or Not by Debora L. Spar was a fantastic reflection on aging - in particular, plastic surgery. I liked this comment:

If a woman with some degree of professional success brags about or even comments upon her fabulous new filler or face-lift (When's the last time you heard a movie star tout her plastic surgeon? Or a leading executive thank her dermatologist?), she risks being derided as a traitor to the cause, someone silly enough to have spent the time and money to subject herself to an unnecessary, possibly dangerous, procedure. By the same token, if that same woman ignores the process of aging and eases more honestly into her inevitable wrinkles and jowls, belly fat and gray hair, she is liable to stand out as an anomaly within her personal and professional circles. In political science, we would refer to this as a collective action dilemma: Everyone's better off if nobody Botoxes, but once anyone starts, it gets harder and harder to pull back from the practice.

What's Love Got to Do with It: I'm Havin' My Baby by Lizzie Skurnick was a woman talking about her choosing a sperm donor for her child.

The "Other Woman"-Then and Now by Kerry Herlihy is a reflection from someone who was the affair partner. The husband never divorced his wife, but they were happy all the same.

Dirty Work by Kathy Thomas, as told to Cathi Hanauer is perhaps the lone article where the writer is not educated. She's working class - she left an abusive husband and has been working all her life.

I wasn't as into the sex section. The Coming of Age: Sex 102 by Sarah Crichton is about someone hopping back into the dating scene. Still in the Heart by Hazel McClay was about a woman dealing with the loss of her interest in sex, and what she loves about her husband. My Filthy Little Heart: Love It? Or Lose It? by Claire Johnson is about loss of desire in her marriage as well. At the end of the day, she's found a new partnership with her husband, although the question of divorce is still out. Once a Week: Take It or Take It by Grace O'Malley deals with scheduled sex. Fifty Shades of Free by Robin Rinaldi deals with BDSM and feminism. My War with Sex by Lynn Darling talks about a woman's journey with breast cancer and how it has affected her outlook on life. I did like this quote though:

Freud once said that when you love, you pawn your heart. You have given someone the key to your peace of mind. I don't want to pawn my heart. I want to give it away, in great and boundless measure, to those I love, to the life I live. And I want to grow old with clarity, with fierceness, to see what is there, not what I wish to hope or see. To meet the road before me head-on, without illusion.

The next section deals with marriage.

Her Life. My Life: Two Women, Two Worlds by Erin White talks about how a lesbian couple falls into the stereotypical "one breadwinner, one homemaker" model.

Jason, Me, and Jesus: The Other Guy in Our Relationship by Veronica Chambers is how religion affected a marriage. I really loved this - the husband knows more about religion, the wife is more "intuitive" about it.

Trading Places: We both wanted to stay home. He won. But so did I by Julianna Baggott is the wife's perspective when the at-home parent is the father. The wife notices that she's the absent parent - and the husband is taking up the slack. She also mentions some strategies where she and the husband agreed to minimise disputes. It's really useful.

Beyond the Myth of Co-Parenting: What We Lost-and Gained-by Abandoning Equality by Hope Edelman is from the perspective of the wife who compromised her career to support the husband. It's also about her decision to stay married with the husband - that they've grown in parallel, rather than together. I enjoyed her reflection on what marriage was, and that there were other ways to have a marriage. I did like this:

It took me almost two decades, but I've come to realise that I wasn't a casualty of circumstance in our family. I was making a hundred little decisions all along. Of course I was. To work and to parent in equal measure, even if my co-parent couldn't do the same, and even when I wanted to work more. To stay married, even when my husband couldn't or didn't give me what I wanted at the time. To keep waking up every morning with a man who's always happy, motivated, and ready to go, even when it means going without me. When I was thirty-three, this felt like a grievous compromise. But now, at fifty-one, I see it as an extraordinary achievement.

Now There Were Two by Jill Bialosky is about Husband and Wife rediscovering each other after their child leaves for college.

Living Alone: A Fantasy by Sandra Tsing Lolt is about a woman who cheated on her husband and moved out with her affair partner. She wonders if it's better to partition the roles of men in her life (a contractor to fix stuff, a personal assistant, a date for sex) and compares it to the messy romance of her current life. I felt rather meh about this.

The fourth and final section deals with "starting over".

Second Time Around: Letting Go of Convention (and Listening to My Mother) by Kate Christensen is a woman who left her marriage and got together with a man twenty years younger than her. She realises that experiencing this love is worth it despite the troubles that may come her way. It was a frame of reference that I've never considered.

What was in It for ME: Saying Yes, Saying No, Leaning In, Leaning Out by Rabia Hussain is about an Indian woman in an arranged marriage. I liked that she had a very clear voice, and of all the stories in this book, it's the one that feels most real (i.e. I know people with a similar attitude in real life).

Stepping Off the Scale by Ann Hood is about a woman learning to love herself despite her thinness.

Getting It Right the Third Time. Or Wrong. You Tell Me by Karen Karbo is a woman dating a guy who is sixteen years younger. They're not married, but they do married-people things with each other. She lets go of the urge to get married - this, to her, is good enough.

Yes by Susanna Sonnenberg goes the other way - it's about someone deciding to get married fourteen months after her previous divorce. It's a reflection that this is an act of faith for her - but she thinks it's worth it. (After reading the other articles, I doubt so but: to each her own.)

A New Life Under the Ladder by Cynthia King is a great article about a woman volunteering in her prison. I liked that this change in her life also sparked a change with her marriage - they grew closer together.

It's a very thoughtful collection, and I enjoyed it. The ending note from the editor was great too:

The world moves at a dizzying pace these days; we all have endless things to cram into our time, and, in our rare free moments, endless options for what we might do. I'm grateful that you chose to read a book, and especially grateful that it was mine. Thank you.

Aww.

[Katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Summary: These well written life stories from women slightly to very ahead of me in life were endlessly fascinating

The Bitch is Back is a follow-up to an earlier essay collection entitled The Bitch in the House. Both collections feature essays primarily by women in their thirties. The essays focus on the decisions these women have made in regard to their significant others, their children, and their careers. Essays by women who wrote pieces for the earlier collections included brief introductions, such that I never felt lost because I hadn't read The Bitch in the House first.

I was a bit uncertain about how much I would relate to the women in this book. In part, that might be because I think of myself as much younger than people in their thirties, although I'm 27 myself. I think it's more because I still feel like I'm at the beginning of my life though - just out of (grad) school, first job, just married, no plans to have kids. Either way, my fears were unfounded. While I didn't always have experiences of my own that were similar to those described in these essays, every single essay was well written enough to draw me in.

I think these essays served an even more important purpose for me than simply being relatable stories. Because these women chose to share their varied experiences, I got to hear from people who had made a wide variety of life choices and hear how that worked out for them. Reading it made me think a lot about my own life and where I want to be in ten years. Even though it didn't cause me to want to make any major changes, I thought it was an incredibly useful collection of essays. I'd definitely recommend it to anyone, but perhaps especially to women my age and older.

For some other perspectives, check out the other stops on the tour.
This review was originally posted on Doing Dewey

[Patty · Rating 4 out of 5]

“In short, they, we, ‘difficult’ women, we thinking women, we women who finally have the opportunities and chutzpah to carve and design our own lives, had looked inward to see what was there and what was not, what we could live with or without , and what we still needed. And then we’d adjusted our lives and expectations accordingly.”

I can’t quite believe it has been almost fifteen years since Hanauer put together the essay collection, The Bitch in the House. I found those essays maddening, funny and often too close to my own life. When I saw that Hanauer had put together a new collection, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. How many of these essays would focus of the parts of life I am struggling with?

Well, I am not sure that I related as closely to this collection, but I found most of these essays fascinating. I shared the first collection of essays with my book group and I might do so again. These essays are well written and some are very thought-provoking.

There are 25 essays in this book about women living in the 21st century. These 25 women couldn’t possibly write about every aspect of being a woman in the United States, but they do cover a lot of ground. There is humor, tears, triumphs and failures. If you are a woman and like essays, there has to be at least one in here for you. Other readers may also find something of interest, but I feel that the main audience for this book is women.

[Gia · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked that this book has so many different perspectives and voices. And although the writers are older, I found their experiences moving and at times humbling. However, there were a several instances where a lack of connectability on social-economic statuses, racial/ethnic background/up bringing and professional experience levels that hindered any real ability to be 100% moved by this book as a whole. Full Review to come soon.

[miteypen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting essays from a wide range of perspectives, including that of a Muslim woman in an arranged marriage with eight kids and a Ph.D. This is a sequel of sorts to “The Bitch is in the House,” which was published 15 years earlier (Some of the same women are featured in both books. ) Common themes include the pros and cons of going it alone, finding love the second (or third) time around, figuring out what’s really important to you, and letting go of societal expectations.

[Esther Bradley-detally · Rating 4 out of 5]

Grabbed this one without too much thought. I hadn't read the author's previous The Bitch in the House, but this was clear, honest, and insightful; appreciated reading these pieces; have read several of their books. Good to know!

[Ellen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved the bitch - or the 'bitches' in this case. Full of bluster, beauty and bravery. A must-read for women able to admit to being 'older'.

[Melinda · Rating 4 out of 5]

I may be late to the party, but I lately I've found myself really enjoying feminist writing. I'm also a sucker for essay collections....So, when this book came across my radar, I immediately jumped....without realizing that it is, of sorts, a sequel.

Yes, there was an "original" The Bitch in the House and, yes, many (but not all) of the essays are follow-ups to writings from the original book. That being said, this was one of those rare examples in my experience where the sequel truly is a standalone. When needed, Hanauer provides the reader a bit of a forward to essays that are follow-ups, giving the readers just enough information that they can put the essay in context, but not so much that it would spoil the original essay. I think there was only one instance in the entire collection where I felt that I had missed anything by not reading the original essay.

Because all the essays are written by different authors, I can't make a general comment about the writing. Each essay did have its own voice and I did feel that all were well-written and deserving of inclusion. The very worst I can say is that there are a few essays that didn't especially resonate with me--but that was not because of the essay or the author's treatment, but rather that there was nothing in my life in common with the essay. Even in those cases, I still enjoyed the experience of reading the essay.

Hanauer did an excellent job of curating and organizing this book. As I said, the writing was all top-notch and I felt that the essays were organized in a way that they flowed in a logical sense. None of the essays are either overly short or overly long (if this were a short story collection, I could say that there was no novella hiding in the pages). I read one essay a night and I don't think any one work took me more than 10 minutes to read.

If you are interested in feminist writing, I think this is a must-read. I enjoyed it enough that I started to farm the contributors list for new books to add to my TBR.

I received a copy of this book in return for an honest review. I received no other compensation for this post.

[Cindy Roesel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Much the way Virginia Woolf presented "Stepford Wives" as women who did what they were told to do without any questions in “Angel in the House,” Cathi Hanauer described modern "bitches" in 2002, in her anthology of essays, THE BITCH IN THE HOUSE (William Morrow) as women having had just about enough of doing it all.

Now more than a decade later, Hanauer is back with another generation of women, nine of the originals, along with sixteen new voices, sharing fresh thoughts on love, sex, money, work, family, body image, health, aging, all of the important issues in our lives.

I remember when THE BITCH IN THE HOUSE was first published. The title captured everyone's attention sending us out to bookstores. It brought many women together creating lively conversation and discussion, which I loved. Reading the new essays in THE BITCH IS BACK (William Morrow) is equally provocative.

Today women seem less bitter and resentful and more confident, competent and content in this anthology. The writers reveal how their lives have changed in the past years, whether they've stayed together, left marriages, had affairs; developed cancer or other physical challenges; coped with partners cheating, dying or remaining faithful; became full-time wage earners or homemakers; had an open marriage; remained childless or became parents; or experienced other life transitions.

As a "new wave" of feminists begins to take center stage, this timely collection focuses on both past and present, offering understanding and wisdom for modern women’s lives, all the while looking forward toward the exciting possibilities of tomorrow.

[Lois · Rating 3 out of 5]

A birthday gift from my daughter en route to meeting my squad of amazing women friends. These essays varied from the "couldn't relate to this woman's experience at all" to "universal truths." Found some old literary friends (Ann Hood) and new (Jenny Findley Boylan) among the essays which was a nice surprise as well. I have little patience with drug and or alcohol applied to the problems of life which prevailed with some of the parents and grandparents stories included. What the women have in common besides being exceptionally verbal includes aging, romantic entanglements that worked, romantic entanglements that didn't, and a universal disdain for cleaning toilets. I did laugh out loud here and there.

[Meg · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was quickly pulled into the essays, but as I read on, I found myself slogging through the essays that just seemed to be one after the other about marriage and relationships to the point they blurred together. Seems no married man or woman is having enough sex in a marriage. The essay I liked best was the last, in which the writer Cynthia Kling speaks about a subject outside of her relationship and her own life. The other essay that resonated with me was Pam Houston’s essay about how much she needs her alone time and the other lessons her older self has learned. While the state of our hearts is fascinating, I find myself interested in reading about the state of the brain and passions beyond who we are loving and being loved by.

[Gigi · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read the original book about 15 years ago in college... and wrote a paper on it for a sociology class. At the end of the day, I just couldn't get into this one the way I did with the first. The introduction didn't grab me and none of the early essays managed to either. I also found it difficult to relate to or cheer on the writers... a sentiment which did not strike me the first time around. Overall, despite my excitement to see this follow-up published... I just could not get into the book and decided to call it a loss.

[Eric · Rating 2 out of 5]

The book is a set of essays from women giving their, "perspective about love, sex, work, family, independence, body-image, health, and aging: the critical flash points of women’s lives today." Whether any of them have gotten either wiser or happier is still an open question, I'd say.

[Holly · Rating 3 out of 5]

The original was profound and necessary to my formation as a wife and mother and person. The sequel was kind of depressing. Aging blows and people are terrible. That said, it was interesting to read the updates on some of the authors.

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Although this is exactly where I am in life, the stories in this update didn't resonate with me nearly as much as the original (The Bitch in the House). Perhaps that's a comment on how so much more of life's experiences seem universal the younger you are.

[Anna]

I enjoyed this book just as much as I did its predecessor, The Bitch in the House. Zipped through it in two days.

[Sara Strand · Rating 3 out of 5]

The great thing about books like this one is that every chapter is an essay so it so easy to read this book in between errands, coffee break, kid nap time, whenever. I flew through this book and found myself relating to some of the essays and not so much with others, but they were all equally good in their own right. I never got the chance to read the first book but after reading this one, I have to get the first one because I think I can really relate to that one at this point in my life more than I can with this one. This one is now geared towards women in their 40's and beyond, phasing out of active parenting, looking at or entering retirement, going through different life transitions, etc. I'm still in the thick of a relatively young marriage, four kids, still hoping Social Security stays around because right now I'll never get to retire.

The other great thing about this book is that it really covers almost every scenario women face. The only thing that kind of stood out to me is that aside from the one essay where the writer lives just above poverty, everyone else seems like they are financially well off and as someone who doesn't know what that would be like, it's hard for me to relate to them and their problems. Which sounds silly, I know.

Every essay is expertly written and each have their own unique voice where it feels like you're sitting in a circle listening to everyone just vent and let it out over good dessert. This would make for a fun book club read and have each participant share which essay they relate the most to and why, particularly if your club has a wide range of ages.

[Ellyn Lem · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is an updated collection from the anthology "The Bitch in the House: 26 Women Tell the Truth About Sex, Solitude, Work, Motherhood and Marriage," and maybe I should have read that work first since the authors revisit issues and changes from their essays in the first volume. However, be that as it may, I still found much to appreciate in many of the essays. A few of these women I knew from different contexts--Sarah Crichton now runs her own publishing house and I have appreciated books that she has published. Debora Spar is President of Barnard and the author of the 2013 book that I really enjoyed "Wonder Women: Sex, Power, and the Quest for Perfection." Sandra Tsing Loh wrote one of the funniest books about menopause "The Madwoman in the Volvo: My Year of Raging Hormones." My expectations could have been too high with all of this talent, though, I did enjoy quite a few pieces in it, especially the writers' open and honest telling of their lives disappointments and the adjustments they needed to make to get through life's challenges. By the very end, I think I needed fewer stories and maybe a little bit more research brought into the narratives, so it was less like women at a bar talking about their lives...just wanted a bit more "meat" to the conversation. Still, an interesting book and a worthwhile one for those who are contemplating what it means to move into a different phase of life.

[Alice Ye · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm always happy to read an anthology, whether or not I like every piece. In fact, I rather like that I'll find myself vehemently shaking my head on one page and then feeling moved on another page. Below are my favorite essays because they either resonated with me or they showed me a perspective I never thought about before:
1. Fifty Shades of Free
2. Trading Places
3. Beyond the Myth of Co-Parenting
4. Jason, Me, & Jesus
5. What Was In It for ME

I think there's something for any reader in this collection, especially if that reader is a woman struggling with thoughts about marriage, love, desire, and having children (and how none of these things have to actually intersect -- and that's okay). I also recommend Anna Quindlen's "Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake" if you're seeking more advice on how to age well (yes, I know, I'm literally a grandmother in a twentysomething body). And if you felt discomfited (and maybe even enraged?) by Spar's essay on wrinkles and how beauty is power (ugh power), you might be interested in this book "Aesthetic Labor: Rethinking Beauty Politics in Neoliberalism".

[Jessica Goodman · Rating 5 out of 5]

What's not to love about this collection of essays, (the sequel to The Bitch in the House: 26 Women Tell the Truth About Sex, Solitude, Work, Motherhood, and Marriage which I loved when it first came out)? I slowly savored this collection, treating it as a palate cleanser between novels, though at times I wanted to gobble it up in one sitting. I discovered many new writers along the way and confess that the essay by Susanna Sonnenberg was my favorite (I was already a fan of her two memoirs so this essay was a special treat.) Just wish Cathi Hanauer had written a separate essay, not just the intro - only because I love her writing and wanted more. Here's hoping for another sequel, perhaps in ten years. I'll be waiting.

[LynetteMountainCloud · Rating 4 out of 5]

I won this through GoodReads and requested to give an honnest review.
The Bitch Is Back: Older, Wiser, and (Getting) Happier
by Cathi Hanauer
The collection is a follow-up to a book published over ten years ago called The Bitch In the House that I now want to read.“In short, they, we, ‘difficult’ women, we thinking women, we women who finally have the opportunities and chutzpah to carve and design our own lives, had looked inward to see what was there and what was not, what we could live with or without , and what we still needed. And then we’d adjusted our lives and expectations accordingly.”These essays are well written and some are very thought-provoking. If you are a woman and like essays, there has to be at least one in here for you. There are 25 essays in this book about women living in the 21st century.

[Jolene · Rating 3 out of 5]

A book comprised of essays from a wide variety of woman is bound to have something interesting for the reader. Sadly this may not be true. Majority of the contributed authors spend the pages rehashing terrible life choices or defending the choices they made. The affairs have shaped them to be happy today, etc. There are gems on this collection when your wading through the upper middle class white woman eye wrinkle problems (seriously have never read a book that mentioned that particular porblem so much) that help make this book worth it to pick up. I really enjoyed the woman in the last essay and the one who decided her boring marriage was beautiful and realizing no drama was not actually a problem.

[Kita · Rating 5 out of 5]

My Sunday running group picked this book as a discussion book. Unfortunately I will miss the discussion, but I think this would make a great book club book. It's a series of essays written by women in their '40s, '50s and '60s, edited by Cathi Hanauer. Her husband is the NY Times Modern Love editor (my favorite!) and the essays reminded me of Modern Love a bit, except they were all about the experience of being a woman and about finding peace (or not) in middle age. I liked some essays better than others but I found all of them interesting.

This quote at the end rang so true to me:

"And what's beautiful is being in this sad, messy, lovely world and liking who you are in it - and knowing that the people you love are right here in it with you." - Ann Hood

4 1/2 stars