Approval Junkie: My Heartfelt (and Occasionally Inappropriate) Quest to Please Just About Everyone, and Ultimately Myself

by Faith Salie

From comedian and journalist Faith Salie, of NPR's Wait Wait…Don't Tell Me! and CBS News Sunday Morning, a collection of daring, funny essays chronicling the author's adventures during her lifelong quest for approval

Faith Salie has done it all in the name of validation. Whether she’s trying to impress her parents with a perfect GPA, undergoing an exorcism to save her toxic marriage, or baking a 3D excavator cake for her son’s birthday, Salie is the ultimate approval seeker—an “approval junkie,” if you will.

In this collection of daring, honest essays, Salie shares stories from her lifelong quest for gold stars, recounting her strategy for winning (very Southern) high school beauty pageant; her struggle to pick the perfect outfit to wear to her divorce; and her difficulty falling in love again, and then conceiving, in the years following her mother’s death.

With thoughtful irreverence, Salie reflects on why she tries so hard to please others, and herself, highlighting a phenomenon that many people—especially women—experience at home and in the workplace. Equal parts laugh-out loud funny and poignant, Approval Junkie is one woman’s journey to realizing that seeking approval from others is more than just getting them to like you—it's challenging yourself to achieve, and survive, more than you ever thought you could.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Humor, Essays, Audiobook, Biography Memoir, Self Help

288 pages, Paperback

First published April 26, 2016

About the author

FAITH SALIE (author of APPROVAL JUNKIE) is an Emmy-winning contributor to CBS News Sunday Morning and a panelist on NPR’s Wait Wait…Don’t Tell Me! She also hosts the PBS show, Science Goes To The Movies. As a commentator on politics and pop culture, she’s been interviewed by the likes of Oprah Winfrey, Bill O’Reilly, and Anderson Cooper. As a television and public radio host, she herself has interviewed newsmakers from Lorne Michaels to President Carter to Robert Redford, who invited her to call him “Bob.” Faith attended Oxford University on a Rhodes scholarship, where her fellow scholars went on to become governors and mayors, while she landed on a Star Trek collectible trading card worth hundreds of cents.

Reviews

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Faith:

I liked you before I read this book, and I like you even more now. I've always enjoyed your humor on my favorite NPR program, "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me." I know that you'll like it that I said I like you, because you're an "approval junkie". I get it. I can fall into that same trap on occasion . In fact, I first picked up your book because I thought you might be preaching some sort of "you are enough" message. You didn't (although you share some awesome stories about how your mom had this philosophy). Instead you gave me, and all other readers, some hilarious -- and heartfelt -- insights into life.

As you say, "when it comes down to it, we all just want to hear stories," and yours are terrific. One of my favorites is "On the Fringe: A Cautionary Tale" about your experience with lash extensions. I was rolling on the floor with laughter throughout the entire essay. I *totally* get it! "At the root of it all, I just wanted to be naturally pretty. Of course it makes no rational sense that fake eyelashes made me feel naturally pretty, but they did." And your confession that "I'm a little afraid to tally exactly how much I spent on my lashes during that time Let's just say that I could have kept a small public radio station in one of the Dakotas from having to do pledge drives for a year." I've barely resisted the siren song of lash extensions myself (only because I know it's like a drug addiction -- once you start, it's hard to stop), but I'm going to plead the 5th when asked about my eyelash product budget at Sephora.

Your combination of heart and humor when speaking about your relationship with your father (and your shared love of books!) brought a little tear to my eye. You're also right on the money when you say that an honest parenting book should be titled "This Shit is Hard as Shit".

I'm going to recommend your book to the bold, smart, funny women I know.

4 enthusiastic stars

Thank you to NetGalley and Crown Publishing for a galley of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

An enjoyable comical uplifting read, "Approval Junkie: Adventures in Caring Too Much" is authored by NPR radio personality, actress and comedienne Faith Salie. The need to please is a powerful force that can shape a persons character, and Salie took this to heart as she sought approval and validation from others. Beginning in high school she kept her GPA high to impress her parents and later in an unhappy marriage she would try for years to win the unattainable love from her (former husband) "wasband" who seemingly had limited interest in the bond of a genuine loving marriage.

The confessional biographical essay is increasingly becoming a popular format for new books: Salie shares many personal stories from her family life, loss of her mother, her friendships and career. After finding happiness in her second marriage and becoming a first time mom after 40, she shares her life experiences with IVF treatments, childbirth, breastfeeding and motherhood. Before reaching this point of satisfaction and happiness in her life she developed unusual crushes and behaviors that may have been a result from her unhappy first marriage.
The essay "My Summer Fling with Bill O'Reilly (or My Fair and Unbalanced Lady)" Salie recalled her admiration for the strong opinionated radio personality, despite gaining less than 10 minutes of his attention as he rudely talked over her. Robert Redford recited poetry when she interviewed him, Don Rickles insulted her in comedy, Sir Anthony Hopkins sang to her, Russell Brand flirted with her and Ryan Gosling "ravished" her with his eyes.
Tina, "Shrink Rapt" (essay) her therapist following Salie's disastrous first marriage to her "wasband" was concerned about Salie's lack of anger and taking too much responsibility for the failure of the marriage. Marriage to a husband with no interest in maintaining an address, phone number, bank account or credit card with his wife leaves little room for improvement or growth. This outright rejection was understandably traumatizing, with her resolve, sense of humor and support of a host of friends and family Salie worked through her problems and clearly arrived on top in a happier and better place. ~ With thanks to the Seattle Public Library.

[Dana · Rating 3 out of 5]

More of a memoir than an "embrace your flaws" sort of book...I could relate all too well to the first half of the book but found the last half a bit uninteresting (with the exception of the eyelash story, which was one of my favorites!) I am sure it would have resonated with me more if I had children as it covers IVF, breastfeeding, and tips for her daughter (although some of those I might could use myself:)
If you are a Faith Salie fan, you will love this. I just barely knew of her, going into the book, from CBS Sunday Morning.

[Maria V. Snyder · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a book of humorous and heartfelt essays about Faith's efforts to please everyone. She was a guest speaker at a Romance Writer's conference that I'd attended and she was wonderful. Funny and down to earth and her information on how to conduct an interview was amazing. I ran and bought her book and asked her to sign it. It was added to my TBR pile and there it stayed for years.

I picked it up when I was bored with my current read and just flew through the essays. I loved how she called her ex-husband the wasband and her other quirky comments on life. Sometimes there was a bit TMI but she's not shy and if you're going to report on the good things, then it's honest to report on the embarrassments and set backs.

[Jennifer Lambert · Rating 5 out of 5]

I devoured Approval Junkie: Adventures in Caring Too Much by Faith Salie in just a few short hours.

Don’t we all crave approval?
I’m pretty tired of all the self-help books for women that proclaim that to be happy, healthy, and pretty much perfect, I must keep my house spotless, my brow hairless, my abs ripply (not jiggly), my children on that tight-rope of helicopter-tiger-freerange momness, and be Doris friggin’ Day in heels and pearls with a dinner plan.
All these Christian mommy bloggers cum authors with their Titus 2 mentoring programs, 21-days-to-a-better-something and lame parenting and marriage advice that leave me left out and scratching my head.

It’s really just all about approval.

At least Faith Salie tells it like it is.

“When it comes down to it, we all just want to hear stories.”

From someone who really tried hard to totally screw my life up, this book hit home for me. I’ve always considered myself a pleaser. I pretend to be so nonchalant and flippant, but inside I’m screaming for approval. I think most women are, so don’t let them appear holier than thou.

This is a memoir, not a self-help manual. There’s no blame or simplified fixes or get-rich-quick schemes.

I do love the last chapter to her daughter, with these last lines: I hope you’ll love yourself as much as I love you.

Salie’s insights into a failed marriage, eating disorder, miscarriages, and the death of her mother echo my own feelings with failures and tragedy, but with more humor and poetry.

I’ve been feeling a little down lately.

It’s well into April and it’s still chilly out and I long for warmth.

I’m not a good mother no matter how much kale I buy since I let them spend an entire afternoon on their iPads.

I’ve gained some weight the last few months and my clueless husband brings home a big box of chocolates so I can glare at those as I continue to feel sorry for myself while I drink lots of water and eat spinach salads.

This book is about balance.

[Robert Durough, Jr. · Rating 1 out of 5]

I used to listen to NPR a lot, and I enjoyed the fun trivia of Wait, Wait…Don’t Tell Me. So, when I saw Faith Salie from that show had written a book called Approval Junkie, I thought it would be some fun, witty self-deprecation with a light “don’t be like me” message. Nope. This book is vulgar and uninteresting. I don’t understand why pulp fiction and trashy “romance” novels have such a wide readership, but they do, and I’m sure this book has its audience that will love it, too. Once I made it through chapter 7 of 22, “The Best Handjob Ever” (if you don’t know, don’t ask), I was done. In order to feel like I had not failed others by not finishing a book I agreed to review for the first time, I skimmed the rest as fast as I could and found nothing changed from the first third of the book.

I expected so much more, but I take responsibility for not doing my homework and finding out a bit more about the author than that of my experience with her radio show persona. I should not have picked up the book in the first place, as it was certainly not intended for someone like me. It’s garbage. But “one man’s garbage” I suppose some will say…

*I received this book from Blogging for Books for this review.

[Anne Martin · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a life! Faith Salie describes how she managed to lose her mother, marry a man she had nothing in common with, worry about her professional future, lose the man (she calls him her wasband), and be totally disoriented for a while. She tried so much to do everything right, though... Why was fate punishing her?
She will need to meet and marry her actual husband to feel accepted for what she is. At the same time, she gained some job stability and fame, and the dark years look behind her.
I appreciated her description of her depression after her mother's death and was amazed by the exorcism that followed. I still don't know how much was psychological only...
The author made me smile, shake my head and think. I liked many of her ideas, just because she has decided not to follow the crowd anymore.A big plus for the book : it is made by short chapters, which can be read in any order. To learn about her breastfeeding experiences before or after her D&C does not matter.
A unique voice, from someone I'd like to talk to and be friends with.

[Christine · Rating 1 out of 5]

First off, glad they changed the subtitle before the full printing. "Adventures in Caring Too Much" is terribly misleading. Unless it was "Adventures in caring too much about myself." I found this very self-indulgent and not entertaining. The references to her sexual history were just awful and unnecessary. The whole thing felt like a desperate plea to be part of the successful memoir train and came across as forced and not at all authentic. I do not recommend this...at all.

[Renee Mitson · Rating 3 out of 5]

While I appreciate that Faith is a complex woman, I had a really hard time with this book. While it's clear that Faith has done some soul-searching and shares some valuable lessons, sometimes she is still altogether too brutal towards herself, usually under the guise of humor. I felt bad for the way she picked herself apart from her body to her choices. When she would joke about crying in the backseat of her car as a punchline, I just wanted to hug her.

I also think that while the author is very funny, and clearly has a firm grasp upon writing, I sometimes felt confused by the comedic timing. It seemed like every sentence had a punchline and I wanted to "breathe." It could be because I don't know her in real life, but sometimes the words streamed across the page at such a frenetic pace that I felt like I needed a melatonin and a good night's sleep.

I do admire that Faith so bravely shared this raw account of her journey and how she's made peace (somewhat?) with herself. I also hope she takes the time to give herself a hug.

[Amanda Emilie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Upon receiving Approval Junkie: Adventures in Caring Too Much in the mail, I opened the unmarked package and immediately thought, ‘who had the audacity to anonymously send this to me?’ only to realize that it was me, and I requested and won it as a giveaway. I then proceeded to feel the urgency of reading it in hopes of un-becoming an Approval Junkie myself. (I received this book through Goodreads Giveaways.)

Approval Junkie: Adventures in Caring Too Much is a book of stories and anecdotes focused around the writer, Faith Salie. According to the back flap of the book and her well-written tales, Faith is a panelist on NPR’s Wait Wait…Don’t Tell Me! and a host on PBS’s Science Goes to the Movies, among other things. She is smart and accomplished, and therefore has some pretty valuable insights.

Reminiscent of Tina Fey’s Bossypants and Amy Poehler’s Yes Please, this book allows you to get to know the writer through her thoughts, feelings, and explanations of various life experiences. Faith Salie is a great writer, and definitely keeps the reader’s attention through her honesty and charm. As you can gather from the title, her anecdotes circle around the theme of caring too much, mostly about what others think of her. This is a great book to read if this is something you struggle with (or have recently come to learn to stop struggling with). From both her failed and successful marriages to struggles with confidence on television and in her career in general, to struggling with infertility, Faith’s insights into failure and success while being in the spotlight are likely to be valuable for most readers. And if not valuable, they’re sure to be entertaining.

I gave this book 3 stars, and this is mostly due to the fact that I have not watched or listened to anything that she has been a part of. Perhaps this is unjust and the fact that I enjoyed it regardless should bump it up a star or 2. However, when I finished, I was okay with it being over and felt like I knew all I needed to know about Faith at the end because I had no emotional tie to her. That being said, I believe this book can be enjoyed by those who are unfamiliar with Faith, but would recommend it much more to her fans that would read it with more of a purpose than I did.

[Ed · Rating 4 out of 5]

Breezy, funny and the opposite of self-deprecating--self-aggrandizing?--Salie comes across much as she does on the NPR show "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me." She lets us know that her second (and current) husband she was aware that he was an alcoholic before she married him, going Al-Anon meetings before they were engaged. She went through something like an exorcism at the behest of her first husband in order to get rid of things causing problems in their marriage.

One thing that is obvious and which Salie makes clear is that lusting after the approval of people you don't know and will never meet makes you thin-skinned and easily upset when you not don't get approval but find your work attacked no matter how unjustly. The example that comes to mind is Donald Trump who might want to stay away from his Twitter account.

"Approval Junkie" is neither long nor dense--the startling idea that Salie talks about is that if you are an approval junkie you should just roll with it and maybe smooth out some of the jagged edges it causes in you behavior. There are much worse personality quirks.

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny, real, relatable, and....FUNNY. Not a self-help book, which Salie states at the outset, this book won't prescribe how to change being an approval junkie, but it can make you recognize some behaviors and realize that time and life experiences can lessen/re-prioritize the need for approval. That's encouraging. I really enjoyed the chapter about interview (listening) techniques she's gained from working at NPR. I think that Salie's individual set of experiences, including many that most people will never know (TV auditions, radio shows, stand-up comedy) have given her insights into "approval junky-ness" that are worth sharing.

[Ozma · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. I am also an approval junkie. This book helped me a lot! I highly recommend it for those who feel they are people pleasers, say yes to everything, can't say no, etc. I actually finished it some time ago so I do not remember all the details. Perhaps I should re-read as a refresher! Anyway, it was great to read of another person who also has a hard time not being an approval junkie. It was quite refreshing to read of another person like me. Very readable and enjoyable.

[Nadia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Resonating throughout, this was a challenging read. Seeking approval from others, survival at its finest.

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

A lighthearted, easy read that’s entertaining and at times endearing. Is it deep? No. But it’s super honest, which is arguably a depth all its own. I enjoyed it.

[Kristine · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting read for ‘over achievers’. There were a few points in the book where I wanted to be catty about her word choices, but upon reflection, it could be my own competitive nature coming out to be judgey.
The author has some great life lessons to share! Forgive yourself and support your loved ones.

[Laura.125Pages · Rating 3 out of 5]

This review was originally posted on www.125pages.com Approval Junkie is a memoir that focuses on why a person would seek validation from everyone but herself. It was an interesting read, as I think that needing the okay from others is something that is taught in a low-key way to all girls. Faith Salie, an actress, writer and radio host, has sent the majority of her life questing for approval. She altered her desires and career to please others, primarily her ex, whom she refers to as her wasband. I would have liked a deeper dive into this relationship as I feel it could have been a much more powerful read with more on this relationship.

Faith Salie forged an interesting path in life, moving from onscreen to a very successful radio career. Her writing reflected this versatility well. While the synopsis stated that Approval Junkie was "Equal parts laugh-out loud funny and poignant", I never found the laughing parts. I was amused by some of the chapters, most noticeably the section  dealing with Bill O’Reilly, but I never did so much as chuckle. I did find the poignant, as there were a few chapters where Salie really started to open up and dive into her emotions.

I did enjoy Salie's path. She was open and honest with her falters and wins and I appreciated her message at the heart. Unfortunately, I was never super pulled into her life and felt as if I was an impartial observer. Approval Junkie was not a memoir that I disliked, I just never clicked with the narrator and at times felt like she was trying to hard to prove that she was now all fine. I wish the few chapters where I felt the author opening up resonated throughout, but I just didn't feel it. I did enjoy this read as a whole, but from Faith Salie's resume expected just a bit more.

Favorite lines - I wouldn’t wish that sickness on anyone—it eats away at joy and swallows spontaneity. It camps out in your soul, taking up space that could be used to dream or love or rest.

 Have you read Approval Junkie, or added it to your TBR?This book was most likely received free from the publisher/author in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.

[Gabby M · Rating 3 out of 5]

I want people to like me. My friends (obviously), people at work, the people reading this. I'm pretty sure I should be embarrassed by how much it matters to me what people think, but it does matter all the same. The older I get, the more I'm okay with the idea that since some people aren't really my cup of tea, it's fair that I'm not everyone's cup of tea either. But that means that I'm okay with about 2% of people not liking me, maybe 3% as a worst-case scenario. Everyone else, I'm going to go ahead and need your approval.

Which is why I was intrigued enough by the title of this book to put it on my to-read list, even though comedian essay/memoir isn't the end of the reading pool I do more than lightly dip my toes in very often. Faith Salie's Approval Junkie chronicles her lifelong pursuit of other people's regard, from her childhood acting career, to her determination to win her high school's Miss Aphrodite crown, to trying to build a career as an actress in Hollywood, her relationship with her first husband, her divorce, remarriage, and eventual family life with children. Her writing voice is strong, sure, and entertaining, and she doesn't just go for funny (although when she does, her chapter about trying to win over Bill O'Reilly is a highlight). She also hits pathos, describing her difficulties dealing with the death of her mother when she was 26 and her struggle to conceive a child; as well as life advice, in her chapter about how to conduct an interview/genuinely listen to other people.

At the end of the day, I remembered why I don't usually read these kind of books unless they're by people I already love, like Mindy Kaling and Tina Fey. Even with their books, I find myself smirking wryly rather than actually laughing out loud. It's really hard to be laugh out loud funny in print...the only comedy book I can actually remember triggering more than the occasional light chuckle was My Horizontal Life. I'm not super into Chelsea Handler, but that book was hysterical. Salie's book is pretty decent, but not up to the Kaling/Fey level. On the whole it's more funny than not, and it's entertaining if not particularly memorable. I'd recommend this for a slightly older crowd...a lot of its humor deals with divorce, fertility treatments, and childrearing. While it can certainly be appreciated by people who haven't had those experiences (like me), I feel like it would be most enjoyable for people who can relate better.

[Karen Germain · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to Crown Publishing for providing me with an advanced copy of Faith Salie's Approval Junkie: Adventures in Caring Too Much, in exchange for an honest review.

PLOT- Comedian and journalist Faith Salie, writes vignettes from her life revolving around the theme of perfectionism and approval. Salie admits to being an "approval junkie", constantly seeking the approval of others, which leads to her inability to say no and her ceaseless quest for perfection.

LIKE- When I worked at Universal Studios, I used to listen to podcasts while working on the weekly schedules. I remember Salie from NPR'S Wait...Wait...Don't Tell Me, and I was excited to see that she had written a book.

As much as I hate to admit it, I'm a bit of an "Approval Junkie" and I could relate to the theme. Luckily, I'm nowhere as extreme as Salie. I cringe to think of her obsessive exercising and anorexia, both of which she addresses with humor and poignancy.

Salie is witty and I laughed out loud many times while reading Approval Junkie. One of my favorite chapters involved Salie's attempts to pick out the perfect outfit for a court date to finalize her divorce. I almost wished that I could redo my divorce to have a crack at finding the "perfect outfit".

Salie's career has included many unique opportunities, many of which she writes about in Approval Junkie.

DISLIKE- This isn't so much a dislike, as I didn't relate: many of the chapters deal with Salie's desire to have children and her late-life pregnancies. Although these chapters were interesting and related to the overall theme, I felt more distance from them than I did the earlier chapters.

I did find plenty of humor in a chapter where she explains that her husband's dog (which he brought to their marriage), was not to be considered her child's sibling. Salie tolerates the family dog, but she is not an animal lover. As someone who gravitates towards animals, rather than children, I'm on the other side of the spectrum, but I can appreciate her frustration. It's a funny tirade.

RECOMMEND- Yes, if you're a fan of Salie or looking for a humorous memoir from the perspective of a working mother. Salie's voice and perspective make Approval Junkie a worthwhile read.

Like my review? Check out my blog!

[DW · Rating 3 out of 5]

I recognized her name from listening to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, so I picked up the book because I thought it would be funny. It wasn't really funny. A lot of it dealt with the death of her mother when she was 26, her first marriage to a real jerk, and her struggles to get pregnant (though she did end up with two children). Probably the best part of the book was a quote from Peter Sagal on the back cover: "Remember, if a genuine Rhodes Scholar in a size two dress can be this messed up, then you're going to be just fine." It was kind of mind-boggling that she could clearly be so intelligent, and yet even though she wanted to hurt her manipulative boyfriend by not responding immediately when he proposed, she still said yes. Cue (more) years of unhappiness. I guess we all have our blind spots?

It was also instructive to read what exactly is involved in looking the way she does. How she didn't go to a tourist spot with her mom on their last trip together before her mom died, because she needed to work out in her room. How she insisted on exercising even when on safari in Africa where it was unbearably hot, and when on drugs before egg freezing against doctor's advice. It took a medical procedure for a miscarriage to bring her low enough to eat a whole sugar cookie that the nurse gave her to keep up her blood sugar. She also got eyelash extensions applied every three weeks, which saved her 15 minutes of eyelash routine every day (!!). Then when she had her son she didn't have time any more, and had the extensions removed and had almost no top eyelashes for many months. She did note these things were tax deductible ... really? Is that why TV people look the way they do?

It was fascinating to read about Wait, Wait. Apparently it tapes on Thursday as a two hour live show and is edited down. It seems like most of the panelists, who are on about once a month, study for the show, and even go to fark.com for the oddball questions (which they rarely get right, anyway). Adam Felber said he didn't used to study, and would just always crack jokes even if he knew the answer, and the producers told him if he didn't win once in a while he wouldn't be invited back. Ouch.

[Victoria · Rating 3 out of 5]

Written by one of my favorite panelists from "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me," and a nicely priced download, and a perfect antidote to some heavier reading I've been doing, Approval Junkie immediately got a boost from a blurb praising it from none other than Jen Mann, author of the People I Want to Punch in the Throat books. I enjoyed reading this, and it was certainly well-written, but I just didn't connect with Salie. Empathetic, yes, but little to really identify with--which shouldn't surprise me since I am not a young, New York comedian/journalist with body, relationship, and fertility issues. I found that the character I had the most insight and sympathy with was her mother. Her dead mother. Her dead mother who had been happiest pleasing people. Yet in the end, the penultimate chapter, I found myself weeping. Salie wrote HER story but it's the story we all should be writing for our children--how we came to be and how they came to be and what that all means. Glad I read this one. And now I hope she is a panelist on this morning's WWDTM.

[Julie Bestry · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wish I could say I loved this book, if only because I feel like I'm hurting Faith Salie by showing anything other than 100% approval. It was a nice book. She told personal stories, and I feel for her. I wanted to shout at her for not abandoning her first husband earlier (like, before they ever got engaged) and I hope he's being punished eternally for being such a jerk, and I wanted to sympathize with her when she shopped for baby supplies with the terror of reaching such an age and only just realizing how motherhood would change her in unaticipated ways. I felt horrible for her loss of her mother, and I delighted in her professional successes.

But what I didn't do was laugh. Faith Salie had some mildly entertaining stories (of which, getting lash extensions was not one), but I wasn't, in general, more entertained than I'd have been by a friend of a friend telling a story at lunch. I expect more from professional entertainers.

The main thing I'll take away from this book, because it made me so angry, was actually something her colleague Kyrie O'Connor said in an email about preparing for Wait, Wait: "I decided early in life, long before I knew what a feminist was, that I was not going to be the Girl Who Studied. Nobody liked that girl unless they needed to copy her homework..." Whatever measure of humor was mixed into O'Connor's version of "truth" made me so angry, because it perpetuated all of the reasons why women fail to excede their male colleagues, that fear of showing them up. I respect the smartest person in the room, and Salie's reporting of O'Connor's statement will stick with me longer than anything about lash extensions, IVF, breast feeding, or crappy, narcissistic, withholding boyfriends.

[Elizabeth · Rating 1 out of 5]

I wasn't familiar with Faith Salie's comedy before this book so maybe should have researched her before attempting her book Approval Junkie. I thought it sounded interesting though so decided to give it a go.

It was around page 27 when I started to realize it wasn't funny and more awkward and trying too hard. It was when she proclaimed, "I'm not crazy about John. I'm sane about John. I've got scar tissue, and I'm not worried about his cutting me. I was crazy about my wasband. I pinned all my happiness on him." Sorry...but it makes me uncomfortable reading a book where a woman actually says that about her current husband verses her ex-husband. It makes me wonder what poor John feels about this statement.

I got to page 60 when Salie describes learning some sex tips from her brother. I get that it was intended to be humorous but I found it desperate and inappropriate. Many comedians use sexual topics to get laughs but I find there is a fine line between funny and "I'm trying way too hard." At this point I realized I didn't like Salie's story, and find no humor in her "comedy" so decided to stop reading.

This book was given to me by BookLook Bloggers in exchange for my honest review.

[Hannah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ignore how long it took me to finish this book... life got busy and I also started reading other books.
I picked this up never hearing of Faith Salie. I saw the title and was like, "I too am an approval junkie."

I did really enjoy this book. I loved her voice and she covers many topics that are interesting. I especially loved how she concluded the book with a letter to her daughter.

I ❤️ creative nonfiction. There's something about learning through other's experiences and seeing the world through their lens that I love. I love feeling connected to someone when they have described an experience or feeling that I know all too well.

"Sometimes at night, when I washed off my makeup, I'd lean into the mirror, far closer than anyone who loves herself should, and I'd pick my face. This was something I'd long been doing- attempting to extract my imperfections. I was trying to make myself perfect when all I was really doing was vividly marking my own disproval."

This quote will stick with me. It was something I needed to hear and something I will continuously remind myself.

[Kelsey Morrison · Rating 4 out of 5]

From a young age Faith Salie has always yearned for others approval, be it; in her looks, her grades, or her love. This need has lead to come funny encounters and events that, depending on your own need for approval, may have you shaking your head and laughing at the absurdity, or shaking your head saying that's not that crazy! Faith is totally honest across the board, from her wasband, to her children and everything in-between, in a way that is raw and beautiful. There are moments of deep sorrow contrasted with her easy humor that create a harmonious blend that keeps you coming back for more. Faith creates a laugh-out-loud narrative that is simultaneously cringe worthy and charming and it will have you reaching for the last page to see what she suggests or gets into next.

[Laurie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received this book in a giveaway and asked for a review.

Read this book if you are looking for something light. It is a funny and sometimes an emotional book that basically gives stories in the life of the author. My two favorite stories are "The Exorcism and "Bookmarked". "The Exorcism" is a story about expelling your grief. It tells how she went about it and how she accomplished it. This story was very moving ! "Bookmarked" was a story about her, her dad and their book club. Their love for reading, books and literature. Anyone who is a bookworm will find this particular tale so heartwarming ! The funniest story was "On the Fringe:A Cautionary Tale" , It was about her "addiction" to lash extensions. It was very funny and found my self laughing out loud.

[Julia M · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. Faith Salie is a funny writer and I was surprised at how much she opened up about personal feelings-- her doubts, ambitions, the sad things in life-- she tells it all. It's kind of refreshing to hear that life isn't perfect but at the end of the day, things work out and you can process the past and laugh at things that were really, really difficult in the moment. My favorite part is the letter she writes to her daughter as the very end which beautifully captures her wisdom and candid advice.

[Lee O'connor · Rating 4 out of 5]

Approval Junkie starts off at a manic pace, feeding the reader with one witty, overwrought anecdote after another. A little saturated to read fluidly at first, Salie settles into her stride after a few chapters, and I found myself enjoying her endearingly neurotic musings on life, career, love, and motherhood. This book is in the vein of Elizabeth Gilbert's "friendly/confessorial" style, and has some great chuckle-out-loud moments. The Type A women of the world will definitely relate to this memoir.

[Kate Whitman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Full disclosure I had lunch with Faith Salie before I started reading this book. It was a lunch in her honor to celebrate the book. I sat next to her and thought she was funny, kind, and smart. I can honestly say it is good I had not read it before lunch or I would have monopolized the conversation. I love Faith's humor and the way she tells a poignant and sometimes heartbreaking story in the funniest way possible. I needed to read this book at this point in my life, and I feel like sending it to so many of my friends, but of course I won't part with my copy.

[Melissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was expecting funny but I wasn't expecting this to be so poignant. I really like Faith on Wait, Wait, so I knew what kind of humor to expect. But the chapters on saying "I love you" first, or what she went through fertility-wise to have her kids, or about the books her father gave her son...very moving. Even if you're laughing about how she talks about her wasband, you are also identifying with her on some level about a relationship you had that didn't go the way you wanted and in hindsight should have been avoided.