Heroine

Black & Blue #3

by Melyssa Winchester

**While this book is part of the Black and Blue Series, it can be read as a standalone**

My whole life, I’ve dreamed of being one thing.
A professional wrestler.
When I lost the only person in my life that I gave a shit about, I threw everything I had into making that dream a reality.
After years of putting my body on the line, I got my chance with Harbour Front Wrestling Alliance.
They saw something in me and after proving myself worthy, they handed me the brass ring.
The HFWA Heavyweight Championship.
I was sitting on top of the world.
Nothing and no one could stop me.
Until someone did.
Me.
Now, stripped of everything I love and with nothing left to fight for, I’m on a path of self-destruction. One that can only end one way.
Death.
It’s just too bad Kimberlee had other plans.
For me…and my heart.
Every story, whether real or imagined, needs a hero. But what happens when the hero isn’t strong enough to fight?
He tags in a partner.
A Heroine.

***Important Note*** Besides the instances of abuse, there is also a language warning on this book. So if it's not your thing, skip for those reasons.

Genres: Contemporary Romance

374 pages, ebook

Published September 19, 2016

About the author

Mother, Sister, Daughter, Best Friend, Avid Book Reader, Author, Overall Crazy Person.

I'm Melyssa and I was born and raised in what is now known as the mega city of Toronto, Ontario, Canada. I'm the country girl stuck in the city girls body and anytime I can get away from the big city lights and settle somewhere far more slower is always such a treat.

I'm a mother to probably the four most amazing kids on the planet. (Yes that's a typical mom answer isn't it?) They have brought so much joy to my life and without them I'm not entirely sure where or what I'd be doing. They've taught me so much that I only hope I can do the same for them as they grow.

When I'm not with them I'm doing one of two things. Either curled up with my e-reader and as many books as I can handle or watching marathons of Supernatural, Sons of Anarchy or Veronica Mars.

Lastly, I'm always on the lookout for my next book boyfriend, even if I have to create him in my own stories. can't go wrong with a good book boyfriend. :)

Reviews

[Maayan · Rating 5 out of 5]

He's an MMA fighter.

Older.

Broken.

Damaged.

And..........a virgin.

Whoever knows about me and had read my reviews, probably noticed that I'm in love with Melyssa Winchester work.

She has a unique way of storytelling, and time after time, I get sucked right into the heart of the story. She has the ability to create such RAW and REAL characters, that it makes the reader feel connected to them. Root for them. Hurt with them...and fall in love right along with them.
And I have to admit - it is something that's hard to find nowadays in romance-land. A big chunk of the books I tend to read these days are easily forgotten in the wake of the of books that follow in their footsteps, so finding books that are DEEP...REAL...books that makes you FEEL and HURT and FALL IN-LOVE - is a blessing I'll always welcome <3

And for me, Heroine is by far Melyssa Winchester best work to date. Not only it had an amazing love story, it felt darker and raw than anything she ever wrote before. I believe that for her to be able to write our H Matthias, she had to sink into the depth of her mind, and connect with her twisted and darker side. To say that Matthias is complicated would have been an understatement. He is carried a basket full of issues and broken pieces, and it took one special lady to be able to pull him out of the dark.



It wasn't easy.
It didn't happen in a day.
It took time and effort, but when she finally reached his lonely heart - It was SO WORTH IT.



Being inside Matthias head was a challenge.
He made me feel so many things...and it's those books, the ones that make you go from happy to sad, from elated to angry, from grinning like a loon to frustrated and wanting to throw your kindle on the wall - those books are the ones that worth spending your time reading them, and the ones I'll probably would always remember.

Those books are exactly the ones I'm always searching for...because they have the ability to push be out of my comfort zone and make me feel.

And when it came to Matthias Kemper...that's all I did.



I felt sorry for him.
I wanted to ease all the guilt he carried.
My heart went out to him.
I wanted to shake him.
I wanted to hug him.
I wanted to growl at him in frustration.
I wanted to shout to him to pull his head out of his ass.
I wanted to tell him that he wasn't alone.
I simply loved him.

“I’m so fucking twisted I can actually see my reflection changing. Lips quirking up on the one side into a half smirk, eyes flickering with pleasure as he shows how pleased he truly is by the events that have taken place. Pleased with the transformation from defender to the monster that was always there, just waiting for the moment of escape. One where he would be able to run free the way he was always designed to.”



“Looking down to my now clenched fist and back to the mirror and sucking in a breath, determined as I do to wipe the smug as shit smirk from his face once and for all, I swing. Hearing the impact as it connects with the mirror and the cracks begin to appear before the glass shatters around me. Shards, little slivers, and other jagged pieces clinking as they drop and bounce off the walls of the sink below. Cuts beginning to form on my hands, blood breaking through the openings, but nothing, not the pain or the blood as it pools and begins to drip, getting through. Only her face breaking through the haze and the silent promise I make once I focus my eyes on what’s left of the mirror I left behind.”

Matthias made me feel so much, and there is something I have to point out. If there is something that I don't like in my books - it's pushing away on the H side.
And Heroine had that.

Before I started beta-reading this book for Melyssa, she had put everything on the table and asked me if I was up to take a leap. I won't deny that I was scared shitless that I would end up not liking/connecting to the story, afraid that my enjoyment would be hindered because when my H push the h away - he also push ME away in the process, and I tend to feel detached from the story.

It wasn't the case in this book.
Actually...It was the complete opposite. Instead of feeling detached from the story or not connecting to the characters, I felt connected on a level I couldn't possibly imagine was possible. I understood where Matthias was coming from. I understood his fears and fucked-up mind. And along the road, I found myself rooting for him.
Rooting for them.



Because Kimber...she was a force to be reckoned with.



“I don’t say things I don’t mean, little one.”
Cursing his name under my breath, I growl before hauling off and slugging him in the shoulder.
“You really hate when I call you that, don’t you?”
“I’m not a little girl.” I whine, my eyes hardening and growing colder when he laughs. “Not the way you mean anyway.”
“How do you think I mean it?”
“Just because I’m not as tall as you or as old, doesn’t mean I’m little, damnit.”
“Actually, it does. But since I can clearly see that you wanna slap me into next week, let me try again.”
He waits patiently for god only knows what and after a couple of minutes of absolute silence, he clears his throat and starts.
“Forget what you think you know about the name, okay? I don’t call you it to offend you. It’s my way of separating you from the rest.”
“Separating me?”
“I like you, Kimberlee Parker. You’re a pretty cool kid once you stop worrying about what everyone else thinks. And contrary to the way I may have treated you when I got here, I actually enjoy spending time with you. So the name is my way of saying you’re special.”
“You think I’m special.” I repeat back, trying to make myself believe he’s actually said the words my mind and my heart hear and want to react to.
“Yes, Kimber.” Reaching over, he rests his hand on mine and my heart soars with the connection he’s made. “I think you’re the best.”

I seriously had a girl crush on her. She never took his shit, and could handle herself in every situation that was thrown her way. She was independent, stubborn, smart-ass, funny, snarky and had a heart of gold. She had strength, and was a total badass! She possessed an old soul and I felt like she was the perfect match for Matthias. She recognized his value, and never gave up on him.

“When he comes out of this, when he comes back to you, someone else needs to step up to the plate. Be his hero.”
Heroine.



Their road wasn't an easy one. It wasn't simple. There were no rainbows or unicorns floating in the air. What we had there were two fractured characters, and a love so big...I just wanted to see the two of them finally get their happy ending.

And when he finally let go...those two were on fire together!



The training, their banter....their clashing and bickering. They had the whole hate/love going on between them and it was HOT AS HELL. And both of them on the ring... Sigh. The tension was OFF THE CHARTS!!! I also felt like the Author took the time and worked on their bonding progress. It really shows and felt in the book.



“Kimberlee Parker has gotten under my skin and weaseled her way into my heart and I don’t think there’s any real way to get her out.”



“I’m in-fucking-love with you. You’re all I think about. All I see.”



It was a slow burn and I felt them falling for one another through every scene I have read. Their love had everything I was looking in my romance novels. I felt like I was on a roller-coaster ride and never wanted to get down.

I loved the fighting-in-the-ring-scenes. I adored Kimber awesomeness. I could feel the crowd and the vibe surrounding them. Their first kiss was so INTENSE. I was so IN the moment...it was that good.
And heartbreaking :(

I also felt Matthias growth throughout the book. From the hot mess he was at the beginning of the book, to the level headed man who owned his shit. I could really feel the changes in him. And I really liked it.

“I’ve got the Championship in my sights again and it’s all because of her.
Kimber.
My little one.
With her by my side, I can do anything.”



“She made me want to believe. Want to be different. Be someone worthy of her, then and now. She made me want to be better. Acknowledge that the voices weren’t real, that the pain wasn’t mine to bear anymore, and try and move on.
And I did it. I moved on with her. I was happy.
Fuck. Happy isn’t even the right word.
I was at peace. I found my happy place. A soft place to land.”



“I’m petrified. Scared out of my fucking mind about being with you. Loving you. But I’d rather be afraid for the rest of my life, then face a life without you in it.”



Heroine wasn't an easy book. It touched domestic abuse. It took me off guard for a moment because the characters Melyssa Winchester painted were so real...so hard to stomach sometimes, that I found myself feeling everything Matthias was going through in the hands of his father. I found myself feeling so so sorry for his mother...then wanted to shake her for going back into the lion's Lair. Reading about little Matthias....what he went through, how freaking BRAVE he was...all I wanted to do was simply hug him.

No boy had to go through shit like that :(

The author actually made me think about domestic abuse. How people tend to judge woman that won't do anything to help themselves. In some cases, before the abuse had started...There was love. And sometimes, people hang on to that love with such a strong belief that maybe, just maybe, their loved one would see the light and things would go back to the way it was before.

While reading about the story about his family & past, I'm not gonna lie. I cried.
More than once.

The book had an incredible set of supporting characters. Melyssa managed to bring each character to life and each one had a refreshing personality. I felt like she had put so much thought & time & energy on every character she created, and it really showed. I adored Brayan. I loved Zach and how protective he was over her. I adored Grant. I loved Kimber's dad. Their bond was so sweet to read about. It made my heart squeeze and break at the same time of how much I missed mine <3

I seriously can't wait to see what Melyssa Winchester has in store for us in the future <3

“This is why I’m here after all.
Her.”

Safety gang: The book was safe-with-exception. Their love story spans over 10 years. The H was a virgin. A lot of pushing away by the H. The H is 30 and the h 24. The h wasn't a virgin, she slept once with a random guy and that's it. I never held it against her - the H left her and it had been a long separation. She is in a fake relationship with OM, and they kiss for "show" - but no feelings on her part. She loves the H and only him. One OW hit on him in a bar but he didn't give her the time of a day.

The book had an incredible Playlist that i wanted to share with you all <3

Heroine Playlist
Heroine by Sleeping with Sirens
My Demons by Starset
Car Crash by Three Days Grace
Cut The Cord by Shinedown
Broken Road by 12 Stones
Battle Scars by Lupe Fiasco with Guy Sebastian
Parachute by Cheryl Cole
Battlefield by Jordan Sparks
Black and Blue (Smackdown Theme) by CFO$ and WWE
Familiar Taste Of Poison by Halestorm
You Call Me A Bitch Like It’s A Bad Thing by Halestorm
Demons by Sleigh Bells
Avalanche by Bring Me The Horizon
Monster by Skillet
Rebel by Nikki Flores
Ready To Change by Heartist
Say Something by A Great Big World
Breathe You In by Thousand Foot Crutch
Close by Nick Jonas & Tove Lo
Sucker for Pain by Lil Wayne with Wiz Khalifa, Imagine Dragons, Logic & Ty Dolla $ign
Ashes of Eden by Breaking Benjamin
Breaking Me Down by Escape the Fate
This Is A Call by Thousand Foot Crutch
What’s Left of Me by Nick Lachey
Break On Me by Keith Urban
On My Own by Ashes Remain
Cold Water by Major Lazer with Justin Bieber & MO
On The Way Down by Ryan Cabrera
Hero/Heroine by Boys Like Girls

[Sarah]

Do I want to read this or do I just want an excuse to make Seth Rollins thirst memes? 🤷🏼‍♀️Who can say...

[Julia · Rating 5 out of 5]

There are a ton of romance books out there that deal with domestic abuse, and when you read enough of them they all bleed together and I found I've been desensitized to all of it. When a character tells the audience about his abusive parents and has flashbacks, I tend to slip it because its usually all the same; not a lot of depth and only to cause melodrama.
Not this book.
This book has REAL EMOTIONS AND REAL PEOPLE. I understood EVERYTHING the Hero was going through and i read every single word. The hero in this book was probably the most lovable, caring, and devoted H's i have ever read. And the h was really great too! Strong and independent just how i like em'. Lots of angst though, but the good kind
I LOVED this book.
Safety
Totally 100% safe, in my humble opinion. There is a lot of pushing away and their romance spans over 10 years (mostly from the H) but he stays a virgin until he's 30 because he loves the h so much. I believe the h only had one random hook up, which is after she meets the H but they were separated, so she wasn't a virgin. And I'm totally fine with that. She's also in a fake relationship with another fighter and they kiss on occasion but there are only platonic feelings on her end. Not a whole lot of sexy times, and their first time together fades to black (INTERNAL RAGE) but the chemistry is still off the charts. I will take a story with real emotions, real characters, with real chemistry over meaningless short smut novellas any day of the week.

[Pamela Sparkman · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a sports romance, revolving around the world of professional wrestling. And it is brilliantly depicted. Melyssa Winchester knows this sport and she writes about it as though she's lived the life. I was completely engaged from the prologue straight through to the end.

Matthias stole my heart, then he broke it, and put it back together. His life was so sad, and I felt for him so much. I hated the things that he had to go through, and much of it was painful to witness.

And then Kimberlee steps in his life - or he steps in hers. She is spunky and training with her father and brother to be a professional wrestler in her own right. She loves the sport as much as any of the men in her life and when Matthias comes walking into her father's gym her life in never the same, nor his. But timing is everything and unfortunately for them the timing was off. Way off. But that doesn't mean that the two of them didn't develope feelings for one another. They just couldn't act on them.

Yet.

Her age is a factor and for Matthias it is everything. So, he does the only thing he can do. He steps out of her life.

But fate cannot be played, and Kimber steps right back in some years later. And then we watch Matty and Kimber find that friendship they once had, while both trying to ignore that burning hunger of desire that never died out. Kimberlee is no longer too young. It shouldn't be a problem for their romance to ignite from the embers that still burned. But Matthias is still deeply wounded by his past and it will take a miracle for him to realize that he is nothing like the man that left him destroyed and alone.

Or perhaps all Matty really needs is a heroine in his story to show him that he is the hero in hers.

A beautiful 5 star read from beginning to end.

[Melyssa Winchester]

#Heroine (aka Matthias & Kimber) are #Live!! <3

Heroine Buy Links:

Amazon Universal Link: myBook.to/heroine
Smashwords: http://bit.ly/2chK4qs
Apple iBooks: http://apple.co/2cTCzUM
Kobo: http://bit.ly/2cSMrRC
Scribd: http://bit.ly/2cKlGwi
Barnes & Noble: http://bit.ly/2cDXXwH

What you need to know before reading Heroine… (yep, one of these again)

1)It’s an Adult Contemporary Romance based in the world of professional wrestling (but a world of my own creation and in no way based on WWE or other promotions other than certain aspects and terminology used)
2)It’s part of the Black & Blue series, but can be read entirely standalone from that even if there are appearances by wrestlers from the two previous books. You don’t need those two to get this one.
3)This is both Matthias’s journey, Kimber’s journey and their journey together. So it encompasses a lot of time and there is a lot of history here.
4)It’s broken into parts. (which means there are time jumps)
5)This book does end in a HEA. (just not saying how lol)
6)The main character (the hero in this case) is a 30 year old virgin. The heroine (my wonderful heroine in more ways than one) is not. So get ready for some very real awkwardness LOL
7)Carrying on from point #6: As much as I want to deem this book safe, it isn’t safe. It's 100% safe in the "no other people for the H and h" but not in the other ways that certain people need it to be. It’s too real to be entirely safe. Matthias is complicated internally. He has issues. Which means pulling away. So you’re better off saving your dime if you can’t handle certain things. Don’t want anyone wasting their hard earned money or their time on something they'll end up throwing (I've done it before, I get it lol)
8)It’s emotional. Extremely emotional. Your heart will hurt and it will hurt badly. Repeatedly. For every character involved. I didn’t make it out without scars I’ll carry forever so if that’s not your thing, save your money. It’s a feelings book for sure.
9)Kimber is the strongest, most stubborn and amazing heroine I’ve ever written and I wrote Isabelle Reagan. I didn’t think they made people stronger than her, but here we are. If you like a little sass, a little or a lot of telling you like it is and putting you in your place, while still holding onto the core aspects that make her definitely female, then she’s for you. This might be for you.
10)There is violence depicted within the pages. Both from a wrestling standpoint and from a very personal standpoint as it pertains to the life of one of the characters. So there’s a trigger warning on this one folks. For physical and emotional abuse as well as mental illness.
11)Last but not least, love scenes. Steam level. There is a steam level here that’s pretty on par with the two books Shades of Blue and Into the Blue that came before it, as well as Remembering Sunday and Here & Now (Count on Me #5) that I’ve previously written. But it is not full steam ahead. Wait for Shoot (Black & Blue #4) for that because apparently, as some of it has already been written, that’s a hell of a ride ;) LOL

As with all of these that have been written before this one, if there’s more you need to know, don’t hesitate to PM me and ask. I’m more than willing to break things down for anyone that needs it.

And as always, for anyone that takes a chance on this story, or even any of my other ones, I thank you. It’s you guys that make doing this as much fun as it is.

Matthias, Kimber and the rest of this insane gang of misfits will see you on September 19, 2016. <3

[J.M. Winchester · Rating 5 out of 5]

"I fell in love. And like every other time I feel anything even remotely close to it, I ran, because all I could see was the way love can turn tragic. Dark. How it can strip away every layer of you until all you're left with is the shell. The empty skeletal shell of yourself. I saw death. I saw destruction. I saw fighting, pain, and words you can never take back. I saw blood. I saw tears. I saw the end."

Heroine broke me. Weeks pass and I’m still not right. It’s still there, thumping away. The character’s voices so damn thick and heavy that I haven’t been able to escape them.

Sure, this is a romance. Two people who are meant to be end up together. But if you think that’s all this is about, or that its just a book about a bunch of steroided up freak shows that put on a show in a squared circle, you’d be wrong

This is the story of a boy, turned man, struggling to live again. To be brought back to life after dying on one fateful day during his childhood. A journey to save himself. It’s a road map of a man walking from some pretty fuckin heavy darkness into light.

It’s Matthias Kemper’s story and it’s not a pretty one.

MW always writes gripping fiction. She always draws on her own emotions and the emotions of others in order to put the most moving story she can together. If you’ve read her earlier stuff, you know that. But this, this is a different MW altogether.

This is a real, bitter and deep look into the broken psyche of a boy that never really allowed himself to grow up. That never moved on. At least not until a certain woman shattered the very fabric of his world. Changed the perception.

A story of hope but also drenched in loss. Brokenness. Matthias making me question at points my own mental stability.

Heroine is a love story. In its purest form. It’s also a book about professional wrestling, which honestly, MW writes with a passion ive never seen before. It’s even a book that like the name, is about a girl saving a broken boy.

But it’s also a book about strength. Finding it in yourself and allowing yourself to be freely given it by others.

It’s a testament to what I know to be true of this author and her ultimate message of never giving up.

She didn’t.
Matthias didn’t.
And you shouldn’t either.

What you should do though is read this book because its worth every pain filled second of it.

[Tynna · Rating 2 out of 5]

What in the bullshittery did I just read?
I hate dnf'ing books, so I stuck to this and hoped for something to make it worth it. That did not happen.

H and h are wrestlers. I don't know anything about wrestling besides the fact that my 15-year-old loves it. So reading the details to some parts of the prep and action was interesting. I have no plans to research any of it, so even if something isn't right, I'm good with it.

The 2 main characters meet when she's 14, and he's 21. Physically, they have a chaste kiss. Emotionally, they have all the feelings. That might bother some, but it didn't bother me. Mainly because he bailed. I didn't like the way he went about it and the garbage way he talked to her, but he was young and had PTSD kinda issues about his past because his dad was abusive and killed H's mom.

Fast forward 7 or 8 years later, and as soon as he sees her, he garbage mouths her again. He spends the entire book treating her like she's worthless, while she chases him around begging him to love her. And when I say "the entire book" I mean the book that never ends. Took me 3 days.

Finally, she tells him she's done chasing him, and I think...here we are, the redemption groveling...uh, nope. She chased him again and does the same stuff. At this point, he says that he'll never do it again, and he'll work so hard to make it up to her. Guess what? He does the crap again. Dear lord.

There's a car accident, a coma, a fake boyfriend, a crotchety old man, and out of the blue comes a sort of ghost. I don't even know. To be fair, it might be an awesome book, if it wasn't supposed to be a romance. If you take out the emotionally abusive relationship (that's exactly what it was) it's a story about a mentally unstable guy, trying to follow his dreams of owning a belt, while dealing with a sort of oedipus complex. And I'd read that book.

[Renee · Rating 5 out of 5]

I LOVED this book!! Matthias and Kimber are great characters. Matthias has a lot going on that makes him feel unworthy and unlovable, but Kimber is stubborn enough to make sure he learns that he is worthy and lovable. I’m not one to give details away, but it’s a great read and you should give it a shot.