Finding North

by Carmen Jenner

Red Maine’s blue-collared bad boy, North Underwood, has a dirty little secret—Will Tanner.

Friends since kindergarten, North had been the one to jump first, and his fall into Will’s bed ten years ago had been no exception. Will and North had been inseparable, but things change, people grow apart, and even a blazing flame can dwindle to a dying ember over time.

The more things change the more they stay the same.

After a run in with a bottle of Bundy rum, Will and North find themselves in a compromising and all too familiar position.

Blurred lines, bad decisions, and one wrong foot after another lead these two down a spiral of sarcasm, secrets, and sex, but when North’s hetero status is called into question he can’t figure up from down. And despite Will telling himself he wouldn’t fall again, he’s head over heels and wandering without a compass.

Love is love.

Love is truth.

Love … shouldn’t be this damn hard to figure out.

Genres: M M Romance, Friends To Lovers, Romance, Contemporary, Gay For You, LGBT, Enemies To Lovers

225 pages, Kindle Edition

First published February 25, 2016

About the author

Carmen Jenner is a USA Today and international bestselling author.

A hardcore red lipstick addict and a romantic at heart, Carmen enjoys books—duh!—long walks through Sephora, tattooed boys, and eyeliner so sharp it could kill a man. She lives in small-town, Australia, where she wrangles her two children, a French Bulldog named Busy, her Jungle Jag Python named Bunny, and her very own manchild.

Carmen always gives her characters the HEA they deserve, but not before ruining their lives completely first … because what’s a happily ever after without a little torture?

Sign up to my newsletter for free books, and exclusive content https://www.carmenjenner.com/subscribe

Stay up to date with Carmen at: www.carmenjenner.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CarmenJenner...

Reader Group The Sugar Junkies: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheSu...

Reviews

[✦❋Arianna✦❋ · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 Stars!!



“Finding North” was a pretty great blend of steam, angst an emotion and while was not the best book I have read by this author, I enjoyed it. I was really excited to read this little gem. Firstly because I love m/m reads and secondly because I was really curious how Carmen will develop these two men’s story.

Will and North have known each other since they were kids. They have been friends since forever. Will has known from an early age that he’s gay and also that he has feelings for his best friend and North always suspected Will is gay, but he never really asked the question. Everything changed between these two when they were 18 when North found out Will sees him more than a friend. What started as a tentative closeted relationship, shattered very quickly. Something happened and the two boys were torn apart.

“Twelve years ago, a line was drawn in the sand. And that line can't ever be erased.”

Twelve years later, Will and North are full grown men, but they are no longer friends. Even if North drinks every day at Will father’s pub, they are practically strangers. North drinks to forget – to forget how he messed up his life, how over the years he became the town's manwhore, how he treated Will twelve years ago, how he really feels for his former best friend.

“North was my childhood. My first love. But he's nothing to me now. We're nothing.”

Will is bitter, angry and he still didn’t forget how North hurt him years ago with his words and with his actions. In spite of that he can’t lie himself – he still loves him. While Will is out and proud, North is still in the closet, afraid to be different and unhappy.

The story is told in dual POV and goes from past to present. The author did a great job revealing what happened between Will and North. What happened between these two was really sad, heartbreaking and really pissed me off for one reason or another. If you will try this one, maybe you will understand why.

"No matter what, no matter how crazy he makes me, no matter how much I mighty try and hide the truth, I've never been more attracted to another human being, male or female, the way I'm drawn to him."

Will and North from the present try to reconnect and to rebuild their friendship and it was nice to see how both of them are willing to make an effort. But…I didn’t comprehend why they waited so long to do that. On top of that, they reconnected a little too easily to my liking. For me it was believable at all.

Overall, both Will and North were great characters. I really admired Will for his guts, because you need guts to be the only gay man (first out gay man) in a small bigoted town. I liked the fact he doesn’t give a sh*t about what others think about him/about his sexual orientation. For me he was a truly likeable character from the start. North was such a tormented soul. I really felt for him. He’s angry, hurt and so confused about his feelings for Will, but also about his sexuality. He broke my heart. Will and North are both well enough developed, but I would have liked their backgrounds to be more developed.

I can’t say I didn’t connect with these two guys, but I can’t say I connected with them as a couple. Not as much as I would have wanted. Mainly because I think they didn’t properly communicate with each other. They didn’t talk at all about how to fix their ‘little problem’. That being said, I found myself a little frustrated at times.

Like I previously mentioned, the story is steamy...really steamy, maybe a little too steamy. Personally I would have preferred more emotion than steam, especially since this was a short-ish read! Anyway, I loved the chemistry between them and of course the hot as hell sexy scenes. Really well written and sooo satisfying.

All in all, this was a great read, but unfortunately there was nothing remarkable for me to give a higher rating.

“Will is my home; he always has been. It just took me a fucking long time to see it. “

[Judith · Rating 4 out of 5]

***3.75 Stars***



This is one of my favourite Authors,so when I saw she was doing a M/M book I couldn't wait to get my hands on it.

Will and North have been best friends from a young age,growing up together in a small town in Australia.
Will has known from a young age that he's gay and overtime his feelings towards North changed from friendship into something more...
Something happens when they are 18 that makes North push him away and it leaves Will heartbroken.




The book opens when they are both 30.It goes from past to present as you get to find out exactly what happened between the 2 men when they were young.
Living in a very Homophobic atmosphere,Will is not ashamed of his sexuality......
North,however,is in some sort of denial.He likes women and is definitely a bit of a manwhore but he's not happy with his life.He's struggled his whole life to be and do what others expect from him....especially were his drunken,bigoted father is concerned.

This Author certainly doesn't hold back and you could definitely picture a small minded town that had preconceived views about being Gay,which was very well portrayed.
Will really doesn't care about what people think.North does.....he's terrified of people finding out about their relationship.
My heart went out to Will when he realised nothing much had changed between them after all the years.

Twelve years on and I'm still his dirty little secret

This is a gritty read as the 2 men battle with their feelings and the reactions of others.
This one would have been a definite 5 Stars for the writing and the characters but I found the whole 12 year thing unrealistic.
They both live in a small town with Will running the only bar and I just kept thinking they would have run into each other so often over the years so why did it take so long for them....

Overall an enjoyable M/M book that I would recommend.......

[Lana ❇✾DG Romance❇✾ · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 Stars

Once, North tore my whole world apart. I promised myself I'd never fall again. Turns out I lied.

Being a huge Carmen Jenner fan, when I saw she's coming out with an MM romance, I didn't even bat an eyelash before adding this beauty to my shelves. And when it landed on my kindle? I devoured it in one sitting...though with much fidgeting involved because holy hot sex scenes! My ovaries got a hell of a work out is all I can tell you, because if there's one thing this woman can write, it's one extremely hot sex scene. Finding North certainly didn't lack in steam, but it also packed on emotion and angst all tied together in a steamy GFY set up that I absolutely enjoyed the hell out of.

North was my childhood. My first love. But he's nothing to me now. We're nothing.

North and Will grew up together and were the best of friends until one day everything changed. Now twelve years later all they have between them is regret, longing, and resentment. Will is openly gay in a small Australian town where they're not exactly excepting of that sort of thing. But with his father being the owner of the town's lone watering hole where he bartends, they mainly ignore it for the booze they come to him for.

North is one of his regulars, and while there was a time where they were inseparable, now isn't one of them. North is the town's manwhore, screwing every available woman in sight and drinking his feelings aways. But while North may act like a randy heterosexual, he harbors a dirty secret...feelings for his best friend.

Will is my home; he always has been. It just took me a fucking long time to see it.

Finding North is told in both Will and North's POV, jumping smoothly from present to past. It slowly unveils the events that led to the demise of their friendship while moving their relationship forward in the present. This is also where I found myself wishing for a little bit more. While I loved the story and the characters, I felt that the story could have used a 100 more pages. I wish it delved deeper into their past. I wished that their friendship was more fleshed out before that one fateful night that changed everything. I had also hoped for just a bit more development on North's childhood. It would have strongly aided the story and helped the reader build an even bigger connection with an already endearing character.

Don't get me wrong, while the book is on the shorter end, I did feel a connection to both North and Will. It managed to pack in quite a lot of emotion and angst which I absolutely loved. I especially loved Will and seeing his relationship with North change. It was refreshing to see a character truly struggle with his sexuality as North did. There was no black and white with his feelings. He struggled with them and putting a label on it, which just made him very authentic in my eyes. But again, had his character been more fleshed out, it would have taken this story from the very solid 3.5 to a 5 star easily.

I couldn't help but feel I was thrown right into the deep waters that was the relationship between North and Will, but I would have loved to spend some time in the shallow end first. Maybe get more of their past or how their friendship developed.

That aside, Finding North is still a fantastic read. It had just the right amount of steam mixed in with an emotionally charged story. Will and North were incredibly hot together, so could you really blame me for wishing I had more time with them?

If you're looking for a sexy and angsty GFY to spend an afternoon with, this book is a no brainer. Carmen Jenner knows how to write one unputdownable book and this was certainly no exception. While it may not have been the length I would have loved (I'm greedy like that with Carmen's books), it definitely didn't lack in depth. A huge rec for any lovers of steamy MM romance!

ARC courtesy of author in exchange for an honest review

Graphic is stock purchased and created by me for DGR blog. Please don't share without permission

Find me on:

[Ele · Rating 2 out of 5]

**1.5 stars**

There are many raving reviews about this book, so don't mind me and my dissenting opinion. But God, I have no idea how I managed to finish this book. Reasons:

Most, if not all, female characters are horribly portrayed . Some of them are cheaters, others cheat on their fiance a few days before getting married, or screw their boyfriend's best friend a few hours after their break up. The rest of them are sluts, homophobes or just whiny drama queens.

I found both MCs to be obnoxious, immature and arrogant, and the first person present tense dual POV, didn't really help.

Will, also, kept making these kind of comments:

"I’m not effeminate. I’m not walking around town spewing phrases like, “That outfit is faaabulous, darling” or “Gay is the way,” and I’m not marching in any fucking parades."

And don't get me started on North. Here is his excuse for sleeping with Will's girlfriend, right after they broke up.

"She was crushed, and I didn’t like seeing beautiful things destroyed."

As for their "relationship", I'm not sure there was one. All they did was fight and fuck. Sometimes at the same time. One minute they 're in bed, and the next they 're screaming at each other. I got so sick of it I skimmed some sex scenes.

Even in the end, North's declaration of love, seemed like an effort to challenge other people, rather than win Will over.

The writing wasn't bad; it was actually good, but it got very repetitive. The dialogue, though....cringe worthy.

"“Jesus … you’re an arsehole.” I pant.
“Nah, I’m not an arsehole, but I am in your arsehole.”

There is also a lot of violence and fights between the MCs and other people. I'm ok with more gritty reads, but it felt totally unecessary here, especially the last scene with North's dad.

Like my friend, Renee, said, the underlying bones of the story had potential, but the execution didn't work for me at all. But like I said, I'm the minority.

[Renée · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF with 1.5 stars. I am rating this book, even though I DNF'd, because I read more than half and dammit - I have to say something about this hot mess.

The blurb and cover sucked me in. Best-friends-to-enemies-to-lovers and second chance romance? Sign me up. 99 cents on Amazon? Check. I one-clicked the shit out of this book, especially since most of the reviews were great.

North was my childhood. My first love. But he's nothing to me now. We're nothing.

And this:

It can't ever go back to the way it was, because we're no longer the same people. North did that. In an instant, he ripped away everything.
A second.
A few little words.
And one fucking huge slash through the middle of my heart.

So the bare bones of the story had such potential. Even when it started, immediately mind you, to go south as I flipped pages on my Kindle.

Small town Australia - fishing community - is the setting, which made me giddy. But every main male character in this book puts back some serious alcohol. And every woman in this book is either a whore, a betrayer, or just a dumb whiny brat.

At 8%, we get North fucking a woman, off-page, but we get to hear him talk about it. "Hot, wet snatch" is NOT what I want to read in my m/m romance.

At 21%, we get on-page sex between North and the same woman from 8%. Cringe.

At 23%, we get off-page sex with morning cuddles between Will and his regular fuck-buddy. Someone save me......

Will is an asshole. He has a HUGE chip on his shoulder from living in a town of homophobes, save his father. And after what North did to him, well, that chip is boulder-sized. I can't say I didn't understand his motivations for being a defensive asshole at all times, but he took it to some crazy levels. He insults most people. He uses his fists more often than not. He's a hot mess with no happiness in his life.

North - this gem of a human being -takes the cake for "man to run away from screaming." He screws anything with a pussy (and don't I love reading that word repeatedly in m/m romance?). He started that in high school and never stopped. He loves it, he talks about how much he loves it - in great detail - by telling the readers the reasons why he gets off on performing oral sex to women, as one example. He tells Will how he fucked Will's high school girlfriend (whom Will honestly cared a lot about) immediately after she and Will broke up. Because he just can't stand to see a pretty woman broken. He has to rectify that with his magic penis, apparently. He describes the fucking in detail to Will as teenagers to rile Will up. Will's response? Let's fuck North for the first time. Wait...what?

The remainder of what I read until 52% was Will and North fucking and fighting. And I mean the throwing fists variety of fighting. It was whiplash. Nothing tender, nothing to make me understand what the hell either were thinking, even though I get both of their thoughts from the dual first person POV.

I was waiting to see a some kind of turn around where they actually show, in both thoughts and actions, that they CARE about each other. But when I woke up this morning to finish this book.......I just couldn't anymore. It doesn't get any better - thank God for BR with awesome people like, Ele, who tells me it doesn't win her over in the second half.

I don't mind grittier reads; some of my favorite m/m authors don't know how to even write fluff - and bless them because I don't want simple fluff in most of my reads. But this wasn't the good kind of gritty. The only way to describe this book is "hot mess."

For those of you who are my close GR friends, you know my tastes, and I know yours. You will hate this! For those of you don't mind what I've described, go forth and read. It's cheap on Amazon, and there are some stellar reviews. I can't believe they read the same book as me, but everyone has different tastes. I've been in the minority before, and I stand proudly on being the minority of this one. Just no.

See Ele's review for exactly what I'm talking about. And thank you, my lovely friend, for the BR! I needed to vent with you while we went through it.

[Mirjana **DTR - Down to Read** · Rating 3 out of 5]

***3.5 Stars***

Once, North tore my whole world apart. I promised myself I'd never fall again. Turns out I lied.

This is one of those times that I really wish Goodreads had half stars. Did I like this book? Yes. Did I love it? Not quite.

Will and North have known each other since they were little. Growing up, they became the best of friends. The two boys, and later young men, would spend all of their time together....hanging out, drinking, smoking pot, talking about girls and sharing their dreams for the future. North grew up in a very volatile home. His mother committed suicide when he was young and his father is a raging and abusive alcoholic.

Will was the one constant shining light in his life. He's long suspected that Will might be gay, but he's never asked....until one night when his own feelings for his best friend get the better of him. Their friendship changes into something more, and the two embark on a closeted relationship filled with hopes, dreams, passion, tenderness and love.

Will has been in love with North for some time and he can't wait to explore the possibilities of what their future may hold. He knows North's father is homophobic, along with the rest of their small Australian town, but together, he feels they can conquer anything. However, one night changes everything and their friendship is ruined. All of Will's hopes and dreams and possibilities for a future with North come crashing down and shatter his heart.

Twelve years ago, a line was drawn in the sand. And that line can't ever be erased.

The book begins in present day and with a series of flashbacks we're given glimpses of the events that lead up to that heartbreaking night. Little by little as Will and North reconnect in present day and begin rebuilding their friendship and relationship, the momentum grows in the flashbacks...and your anxiety grows along with it waiting to see exactly what happened to turn these two young boys into the bitter men they are today.

Will is now openly gay, fully supported by his father and his father's girlfriend Sal (which can I just say I loved both of them!), but he's given a wide berth by the town folk....because heaven forbid they get the gay on them. In all these years, he's never once stopped loving North....even watching him turn angrier and bitter over the years....becoming a shadow of the boy he once was.

I hate that every day his silence reminds me of what I gave up when I came out. I hate that it's been twelve long years, and I haven't stopped missing him, not even for a single second.

North has been living in his own hell over the years. Lying to everyone around him about who he really is. He's buried all of his hurt, confusion and despair down deep and numbs the pain with alcohol and women. But none of that can ever truly ease the heartache he feels every time he sees Will.

In twelve fucking years, not a single thing has changed - not the way he makes me feel, not the way the town ridicules and demoralizes anyone who might be different, and not the fact that I'm still just as much a coward now as I was back then.

There's a lot of sadness and despair hanging over your head while reading this book. My heart broke for Will and North, while my anger grew as well. They spend a good portion of this book fighting and fucking. Neither man is really trying to find a solution to their problem. Will hates himself for being weak in resisting North and North hates himself for being too much of a coward to go after what he wants. After a while, it became exhausting.

Their nights together were desperate and passionate and angry and filled with so much sadness and hope....it's like chasing the highest high knowing that eventually it'll give you the lowest low.

I want it. God, do I want it. It will fuck up everything we have. It will destroy us. He'll resent me for having done it, and I'll fall even more in love with him. But I want it all the same.

North is heartbreak. North is a headfuck. North had been my whole world. He was no good for me then, and he's still no good for me. I know that, and yet I've never wanted anything more.

North must look deep within himself and figure out what matters most...the image of a man that his homophobic, abusive father created or the man he feels like when he's with Will...a man who loves him, faults and all. A man who can give him everything, and rip it all away at the same time. He doesn't want to care what other's think....but how do you change thirty years of hateful, spiteful abuse?

He's so terrified that he can't see how much pretending has fucked him in the head, because when he looks at me he doesn't see a man who loves him - he sees a man who has the potential to destroy the facade he so carefully built. Instead of a future, he sees his ruin.

Both men frustrated me so much throughout this book. After a while, I didn't understand why Will kept putting his heart through the ringer with North. And North....sigh....his issues had issues. He was so desperate for his father's love and approval, while at the same time he loathed the man with every fiber of his being. I just wanted to reach into my kindle and shake them both.

"You know, on paper I feel like I have my shit together. I've ticked all the right boxes - all but one."

"Whose boxes are you ticking? Your own?"

"No."

"Then why do they matter? Make you happy, North."

Their merry-go-round continued on for way too long....that angst that I ate up in the beginning turned into frustrating exhaustion. I was having a hard time imagining how these two would every find an HEA.

"You can't be who you are without apologizing to the world for it, and I can't be who I am without apologizing to you."

Once we get to the climax and pivotal moment of that night twelve years ago, I was exhausted. I think I would have liked this book much more if instead of the flashbacks, the book started in the past and built the reader's connection to Will and North's history. Having already lived through that heartbreaking experience and then watching what they were struggling through in their adult years would have been more rewarding....and I believe less exhausting.

After everything these two struggled with, fought for and fought against, the ending felt a bit rushed. North really came a long way, and I would have liked to have seen more of him finally happy in his own skin. I would have liked more of North and Will as a couple. After so many tumultuous years, I wanted to see more of them happy, settled and content.

Overall, this was a book that I really did enjoy. I may not have loved everything about the storytelling, or understood some of the characters' actions...but I was fully invested in the story. This is my first book by Carmen Jenner, but it certainly won't be my last.

[~♡AB♡~ · Rating 3 out of 5]

★★★ 3 Stars ★★★



Finding North is a 'Gay for You' romance between two best friends who thought the world of each other until something happened at the age of 18 to split them apart for the next twelve years.

They live in a small town in Australia where homophobia is still very prevalent. Will is openly gay, but with a highly bigoted father, North is hesitant to rekindle his friendship with his old friend. As Will works in the only pub in town, they often find themselves in each others company and when North is not working or screwing a plethora of women, he is sat across the other side of the bar watching Will.

"No matter what, no matter how crazy he makes me, no matter how much I mighty try and hide the truth, I've never been more attracted to another human being, male or female, the way I'm drawn to him."

We are taken back to the past when they were inseparable, and find out what led them to be the indifferent pair they are now.

I thought this was a decent enough read, but felt that it was missing that certain quality that could have made it a more memorable story. I was left wondering why all of a sudden they went from twelve years not speaking at all, to having banter which led to their reunion. Also, I didn't quite understand why North felt so loyal to his father when he was such an arsehole to him, it just needed a little more background and more details for me to feel that full connection to the book.

What I loved most about this book was the chemistry between North and Will, it was present from the first page and I loved going on their journey with them. Finding North is an emotional and sexy read, and I think Carmen Jenner did a fantastic job writing her first m/m romance.

Finding North is a m/m romance, told in dual POV, past and present.

ARC gratefully received from the author in exchange for an honest review

Images featured in this review were created by me using stock images either purchased from deposit photo or from free stock sites.

[.Lili. · Rating 4 out of 5]

As soon as Finding North popped up on my GoodReads feed I wanted to read it. The cover instantly attracted me and then blurb finished hooking me.

Best friends to lovers + second chance romance= hell yeah!

As the blurb tells us, Will and North’s friendship turned into a relationship, but their relationship ends suddenly when North turned on Will as many in their town had for being gay. They still saw each other in their day to day lives but are nothing more than bartender and patron. As time passed though it became harder and harder for them to fight their feelings for one another.

My highlights:

*Will and North. They were great main characters. They were raw, flawed, and passionate. How could you not fall in love with these guys and root for them?
*This book was angsty but not overwhelmingly so.
*The book had quick, easy pace, and the story keeps you so engaged you won't want to put it down.
*The steam is off the charts hot!
*The story is told from a dual POV.
*And the end was great. I was left emotionally satisfied and believed in their HEA.

But I do have one big complaint- relationship development. The first half of this book was fantastic. It was the perfect balance of angst and heat. But the second half doesn't grow or progress as well as the first half. Their dialogue and actions became repetitive. They hook up; they fall asleep, they wake up, fight. And repeat. I would've loved to see them happy and interacting outside of the bedroom. I knew their chemistry in the bedroom was smutastic, but I wanted to see more. I wanted to see them grow together as a couple. Don't get me wrong, though, despite this, it was still a great read. I literally couldn't put it down.

All in all, I’d say this was an entertaining read and recommend it. I think this was a crossover success for Ms. Jenner, and I can’t wait to read more M/M Romance from her. 4 Stars.



ARC kindly provided by Carmen Jenner to Gay Book Reviews for an honest review.

[Wendys Wycked Words · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked this hot, but angsty little read. If you want something fluffy and romantic, this is not it. It's quite brutal at times.

North and Will have been best friends forever. Once they are 18 years old everything between them changes. Will has always had feelings for North and he's known he's gay for quite some time. North however likes the ladies...but for some reason he also likes Will...a lot. He can't keep ignorant these feelings he has, so he acts on them. Will is very surprised by this, but also very happy. He wants his whole life to be with North. They start a physical relationship, which is pretty hot right from the start.

But this is a small bigoted town and gays are not wanted...especially by Norths father, who is an abusive fuck. So when things get hot and heavy and Norths father starts getting ideas about the two of them, North feels like he has to break Wills heart, to keep the both of them safe. So that's what he does, he breaks Wills heart in a brutal way, leaving behind a confused, angry and destroyed Will.

Fast forward 12 years and Will is an out gay man, still living in the same bigoted town, working in the pub his dad owns. Now let me tell you, Wills dad was an awesome guy. He was a great dad that really stood up for his son. Will would have left this fucked up town years ago, but his dad needed his help after he had a stroke. Now he's serving drunks at the pub. Most of the bigots leave him alone, because it's the only pub in town..so they don't have much of a choice.

One of the drunks he serves is his former friend North. Who has become the towns manwhore. Will still has feelings for North, and one of those feelings is hate. Too bad he also still loves the asshole. What he doesn't know is that North still feels the same way about him too. After a night of drinking these to boys come together (pub intended). Damn...they were hot together. But there was nothing fluffy about it. It was fucking and fighting ;)

North really wants to be with Will, but he's too scared of coming out. He doesn't want anyone to know, which ofcourse causes some heavy relationship issues.

The question is...will these boys work out their shit and will North finally find his balls and just be who he wants to be.

I enjoyed this book a lot, but there were some things that bothered me. I love a good gay for you, but I don't like one of the MC's talking about and playing with pussy. If I wanted to read about that, I would just Pick up an mf book. I have no problems with pussy talk, just don't like it in my mm books. For some reason it makes the relationship between the two heros less important..at least to me, especially when it's so descriptive. I don't mind if someone is bi or just gfy, I just don't really need evidence of them also fucking a girl.

What also bothered me was the 12 year time gap. I get that North was sitting at the bar getting a drink, but didn't he also do that in the 12 years that were left out ?? This was a very small town, so they must have run into each other before right. This was pretty confusing to me and I would have loved to read more about that period.

There are some major bigots in this book, so be prepared...just saying.

North pissed me off a lot in the beginning, he totally redeemed himself though. I just wish he would have done all that shit sooner...12 years is a fucking long time and even when they got together, it still took him a long time to come to terms with himself and his relationship with Will.

3,5 - 4 stars.

[Astrid - The Bookish Sweet Tooth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Let's take a minute or ten to appreciate the cover.

Now. The heart of this story is serious. We are invited to a small town in Australia called Red Maine. This town could be anywhere in the world because, unfortunately, it still is a placeholder for what goes on in narrow-minded people.

Meet Will Tanner and North Underwood. Will has been an openly gay guy since his teenage years. In this small town you are judged, sentenced and ostracized for being what is deemed not normal. He has been living with the knowledge for a long time and while he isn't OK with it he has learned to live with homophobic people. Sarcasm is his defense against bigotry.

North likes women. A lot of them. Half of the town's women. But. He has a dirty secret called Will Tanner. North and Will used to be best friends but that summer with Will twelve years ago left both of them destroyed. Enter an abusive father and they went separate ways.

"Once, North tore my whole world apart. I promised myself I'd never fall again. Turns out I lied.

Neither of them has forgotten what they were like and Will's chip on his shoulder is as big as the whole continent of Australia. North killed him when he walked away. What he doesn't know is that it killed North too.

"....because we're not friends. Not anymore. And though I maybe be the only person in the entire world he can talk to, instead he swallows it all back like the licqor in his glass, and I grow tired of trying to find North in all that he won't say."

This story isn't about putting labels on a relationship. It's about love and finding out who you are. And not giving a damn what people think about you - because at the end of the day you need to be able to look into your own eyes and and say that you didn't betray yourself or anything you believe in.

"You can't control what people think of you, North. You don't get a say in what makes them tick, in what they're okay with and what they aren't. That's beyond even your capabilities. The thing you do have a say in is whether you're ok with you."

The beauty of this story is that they both grow, how Will learns to forgive and North how to conquer his fears.

"The fear, a blackness that roils constantly in my belly, threatens to overcome me and all I want to do is sink to my knees and sob. Instead, I fall into Will, and I find it's a pretty soft place to land."

It's the journey of two men who have been in love with each other their whole lives and about learning to own up to it and letting go of hurt and anger. It is not about North admitting that he is gay - it is about him admitting and embracing his love for his childhood friend. And we are invited to join them. On the journey we learn what made them fall apart and why North turned his back on Will (and believe you me, it's a revelation and to me it had little to do with cowardice).

The sexy times are steamy and frequent (but don't distract from the story) and I quote my friend Jen here: "Why do gay guys have the hottest sex?"

It was my first Carmen Jenner book and I absolutely adore her writing style. The scarcasm, the snark, the emotion. Not my last one, I swear, not my last Carmen Jenner book.

My Review @ Coffee, Cookies and Books

[Bati · Rating 5 out of 5]

Update: I can't love them more! <3

*******

Love it!

 

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Can I just start of by saying that the excitement I had over this book was HUGE. I am madly in love with Carmen’s writing and when I saw she was going to venture into the world of m/m romance, I was sold.

Finding North starts off with a bang. A prologue that flashes into the past of Will and North, best friends, with foreshadowing of the demise of their friendship; but giving us an insight to just how close these two were and how devastating their parting was going to be. I was feeling choked up by the time I was moving onto the first chapter.

In the little fishing town of Red Maine being gay isn’t something that is accepted. For Will, not being himself was not an option, nor was escaping the bigoted town where he was raised. Running the town’s local dive bar places him in the midst of the hate, but the folks seem to look the other way as long as he’ slinging their drinks. It’s also the same place that North settles on at the close of a hard day’s work. The man who used to be the boy that Will was in love with, the boy that he spent his young life growing up with. But now North is just another customer who gives him a wide berth.

As we journey forward in the story of Will and North we flash back to the past. The moments that lead to the end of their friendship. The moments when to friends crossed a line and fell in love, the moments that led us to two strangers over a decade later. Both men still living in the same small town, both men still longing for things to be different and after a bit of the story plays out, two men that you realize are still so in love with one another.

A drunken night lands North passed out on the bar floor and Will, who could easily just dump him onto sidewalk outside, decides to bring him up to his apartment instead. It’s a mistake and he knows it – but it’s also the start of the story where North and Will begin to build back up the foundation of a friendship. As these two reconnect slowly with a few short chats it is clear that he spark of attraction is still there. For Will he stands only to risk breaking his heart further by holding onto hope that North will see him clearly. But for North, everything comes at a price. He’s the local man-whore, one that has no plans on settling down, even if his ex who is shacking up with him doesn’t realize it. He gave up on the dream of being with someone he loved long ago, being alone is all he deserves.

With the friendship coming back into play, the feelings of attraction are hot on their heels. But has anything really changed for these two? Will is out and looking for North to give him his heart and North is willing to hand over his body but scared to be who he truly is, in a town full of unaccepting assholes.

I loved this book. I loved Will. I loved North. I wouldn’t mind being a third wheel with these two between the sheets either! Carmen delivered an amazing story of a couple struggling to love one another in the midst of adversity. A couple who were willing to sacrifice their own happiness for someone they loved. But a couple that in the end was willing to fight for everything that they wanted.

I loved that this was not this instant- forgiveness story. I loved that Will didn’t just let go of his anger, hurt and hostility but rather used it to fuel the relationship with North. It gave us explosive scenes and although Will was aggressive, it really gave him vulnerability. All of that anger was just a small slice of all of the hurt he was truly feeling.

I didn’t mind that North wasn’t 100% gay but that it was more about his feelings towards Will that left him confused. I don’t need to see the characters explore their sexuality to the point of full realization that they are gay or just bi – I think for North, him loving Will and not really considering any other option wasn’t so much because he was strictly in lust with this one person, but that in the town where he lived there just wasn’t an option to be anything other than straight. I think that given a chance, North’s sexuality could be much different, but Will was the only one close to him. The only one that was there to cause him to wonder what if. I know for some readers of m/m romance, this is not a preferred theme, but to each their own. For me, I really like that the connection becomes more about the person rather than the sexual orientation of the person.

I really hope that Carmen explores this genre a bit more in the future. I loved the way she wrote it and maybe, just maybe of the boys of Taint might swing both ways. *hint hint*

[Aeren · Rating 4 out of 5]

Confieso que me encanta el angst., mucho y si hay HEA soy feliz. Me encantan además los personajes que son difíciles, a los que cuesta 'querer'. Había leído un par de reviews no muy favorecedoras pero el resumen me atrajo mucho y la verdad es que me alegro de haberlo leído. North y Will son dos personajes que definiría como torturados, cada uno por sus motivos, ambos han vivido la mayor parte de su vida adulta separados y esto les hace miserables. Me han gustado sus conversaciones, visto el contexto su forma de hablar, de amar y de llegar al sexo es bastante realista. Durante el último tercio de la novela hubiese deseado ser yo quien le diese lo suyo al padre de North.
Hubiese deseado que las mujeres de las que Will se rodeada hubiesen sido tratadas con otra luz, pero al ser una novela en primera persona y sabiendo lo que Will siente, no lo vi excesivamente mal. Fue un alivio que se evitase el GFY y el tema de la bisexualidad no fuese tratado como una fábula. Creo que intentaré algo más del autor.

[Jaime · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 Stars -- Lacking the Feelz -

So this is a book I wanted to read based on the cover which drew me in and a blurb that I thought sounded like a book for me. I can't say I was disappointed in the book; however, it just felt like it was lacking -

First, this story has a few tough subjects including suicide, attempted suicide, physical abuse, emotional abuse, gay bashing, and gay hating. So if you think those topics might be too much for you, probably not a book for you.

Second, I love a gay-for-you and BestFriends-to-lovers story, told from Alternating POV from our two MC. Combining those tropes, which are two of my favorite, usually you have a book that is full of Feelz, I expected to be blown away. The two MC in this story are North and Will, North is straight and loves women and Will he is gay, in a town that is not all about flying a rainbow flag. These two have been friends forever, however they stopped being friends for 18 years after North pushes Will away. Even though they aren't friends anymore they still have to deal with each other as Will runs the only pub in their small fishing town.

So we have the setup two BestFriends who are on the outs, one gay - one straight, something caused North to push Will away 18 years ago - can these two find their way back to each other as friends? Will they be more? What is North Hiding? These are all questions I was asking myself as I read this story and the author does a good job of slowly divulging details and getting out two MC back in each other's good graces. I guess it just felt rushed. I wanted more angst, I wanted more feelings - as I wrote before, I want the Feelz and I think with these two tropes together you have to "go big or go home" -- this book, is somewhere in the lower end of the Feelz scale (yes I made that up)! Where Will and North were lacking in the feelings they made up for in the sex, these two were always thinking with their little heads!

One thing that bothered me ***spoiler alert** was when Will was in the hospital he started acting like a little bitch, kicking North out and calling security on him...yeah, total drama queen --- if you read that don't be getting mad I tagged it and asterisked it!! :-) Will lost some points from me, definitely!

Overall, this is a good book. A solid 4 star read that will keep you entertained.

*ARC provided by author in exchange for an honest review. Reviewed by Jaime from Alpha Book Club
and Gay Book Reviews

[1-Click Addict Support Group · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finding North is an epic love story about loving, losing and learning to love again. It’s beautiful, profound, heartbreaking and hauntingly real. I loved every single moment.

“It’s not in me to run away, because I’d spend the rest of my life running from who I’d become. That isn’t how my dad raised me. That isn’t the person I want to be, always hiding, never able to say and do what you feel.”

We are raised to believe what our parents teach us, and oftentimes straying from that comes with severe consequences. Will Tanner and North Underwood were best friends for years, until life threw them a curve ball. Love is love, right? Or is it?

It is my personal belief that everyone deserves to be loved. Period. No questions. In this case, that love is between Will and North. Is it easy in a small town like Red Maine with small town ideas and thoughts? No, it’s probably even more challenging. But are they willing to try? That remains to be seen…

YOU MUST READ THIS BOOK!! This is a story about love, acceptance, overcoming, finding yourself, and so much more. I laughed and cried with Will and North. My heart was beating out of my chest and breaking for the fear and negativity that was all around them. Carmen Jenner paints an extremely vivid picture of both sides; Will and North, their feelings, their lives, and how they suffered at the hands of others.

This is a book that I will tell all my friends they should read. Grab a box of tissues. Recognize there are some difficult parts to the story and try to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. You’ll find that your heart beats for others, that you feel more compassion, and that you want to just hug someone and tell them, ‘it will be okay.’ ~ Heather, 5 Beautiful stars

~~~

I am so blown away with this story that I am not sure I know how to give the book the credit it is truly due. Carmen Jenner has a way with making you feel exactly what the characters in her books are feeling, to the point that often I find myself laughing and crying along with them.

As the description reads… North Underwood, has a dirty little secret—Will Tanner. The pair had been best friends growing up, they did everything together. But when Will and North’s “relationship” is found out, North pushes Will away.
Will has been “out” for many years. After his father had a stroke and he stayed around to help run the bar, he is used to the hatred slung his way. After a drunken night with a bottle of rum, Will and North set out on a journey that is filled with tears, pain and most of all, love.

The story does have some hateful things and aspects and that may be hard in the moment to read, but for me, Ms. Jenner smoothed out the bumps beautifully and painted rainbows all over my heart.

Oh, and have I talked the heat in this book? This book is sooo damn HOT! I may not have the body parts this book is describing, but it made my lady bits sing with joy just the same way! ~ Devlynn, 5 Standing Ovation, Give Me More stars

[Linathebookaddict · Rating 5 out of 5]

ARC kindly provided by the author in exchange for an honest review.
Raw. Heart-breaking. realistic and honest.
This book broke my heart. It showed so honestly the hardships homosexual people go through just to exist in a world that treats them like a disease. I was witness to extreme homophobia that purely put me off as I read the book. It was difficult to see, through the book, how cruel people can be.

Will Tanner has known his sexual identity since he was a teenager. He tried to hide it, but he can no longer deny it when his best friend North calls him out on it. North & Will have been very close friends. They share everything, but their relationship is forever altered when North decides to experiment with Will. But Will's feelings for North aren't just a game to him.
Their secret and very brief affair destroyed their friendship. North's fear of his true feelings clashed with Will's total honesty and so, they broke each others' hearts.

They fall apart. They've had no actual contact for twelve years.

North was my childhood. My first love. But he's nothing to me now. We're nothing. We stopped freefalling, and now we're standing still.






When North decides to push himself back into Will's life, he will realize that Will isn't as he once as. He is a man who is not afraid to admit who he is. He is a guy who doesn't fear what others think of him. He is a person who allows others to see him for what he really is and he doesn't make excuses for being who he is.
North is the exact opposite. He fears the town's gossip. He fears being labelled as gay. He doesn't want anyone to know that deep down Will is what he wants. Will's lifestyle terrifies him and so, he hides behind a totally weak relationship with a woman while giving Will total whiplash with his behavior.

North is heartbreak. North is a mindfuck. North has been my whole world. He was no good for me then, and he's still no good for me. I know that and yet I've never wanted anything more.




...because when he looks at me he doesn't see a man who loves him-he sees a man who has the potential to destroy the facade he has so carefully built. Instead of a feature, he sees his ruin. ~Will


Will their tremulous relationship ever evolve?
What I liked about this book is that it didn't waste itself on details about their past and North's traumatic childhood. I loved how the author put us inside the heads of the two heroes and showed us, instead of telling us, what had been imprinted on them by their families. We were witnesses of North's difficult childhood through the thoughts of the man he is now.
I loved Mr. Tanner's easygoing behavior and support towards his son. It was a reflection of Will's confidence and bravery. It made it easy to udnerstand how Will was able to embrace his identity and live his life instead of simply existing as a minority in the town of Red Maine.
I despised North's father and the cloud of fear that his son was constantly forced to bathe in. North was bullied into staying away from his only true friend and love. It was beaten into him. I found his way of ridding himself of all that prejudice utterly realistic and honest. North proved himself to me as the story unfolded.
The secondary characters were fantastic! I loved Josh, Will's friend. He helped a lot in my opinion.
This was the best M/M romance I've read this year so far! I simply inhaled the book. If you love the genre, please read this.

★★★5 Stars from me★★★

[Fabi NEEDS Email Notifications · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am having the hardest time putting this review together. 4.5 stars for me for this friends to lovers + second chance romance + gay for you story. Two of those tropes are not in my favorites category but it didn't seem to matter in this story. Even the switching from present to past and back again, which often annoys me, simply fit here.

It started out hot, hot, fan-needed hot.

"Holy shit," he says, when he recovers. "Where the fuck did you learn to do that?" .......... "Will?" North says. "What?" I groan, mimicking his sleepy annoyance to a tee. "I'm gonna need to borrow that magazine..."

Will and North are two extremely alpha males whose banter is non-stop action. The ribbing and snark remind me so much of a couple I know, long time friends of mine. You'd think they were enemies as much as they snap at each other, but their love is stronger than any I've seen.

So I'm sitting back, enjoying the hell out of this book. Then, just when I had the AC turned way down, the fans blowing and my squirming under control, ready for more smoking hot scenes, it turned scarily raw and heart-breaking.

We are witness to extreme homophobia, total animosity, hate crimes, abuse, cruelty, and FEAR. Afraid, beat down, feeling worthless, North throws all their years of friendship away and shatters Will's heart.

"I don't get to say shit about who he sleeps with because I'm not man enough to front up and claim him as my own."

I highlighted over half the book. There are so many poignant scenes and quotes. So much truth presented in raw language. It is a shocking portrayal of how wrong society can really go when it thinks it has good intentions.

I dream of a life where things are very different between us, and him wrapping his arms around me as we slept doesn't have to be dirty or secret or shameful---it's just love, comfort and companionship, and it's beautiful.

Beautiful and gripping, tummy-turning, heart-stopping rawness, is what this book delivers. It left me happy, but completely wrung out.

[Raj · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is like black iridescent butterflies circling a decaying skull drawn across a billboard welcoming you into a sad grey town perched on the cliff overlooking a wild ocean.It's about years of regret & festering hatred,a man's bitter denial of a love born out of fear & glorious violence. It's about hiding one's true self because of blind prejudice,it's a slice of reality about what is to be truly hated for who you love.

I can see why the author mentions that without Troye Sivan this story would not have been told because this book plays like the video'Fools' a song created by the singer.

"FOOLS"

'I am tired of this place, I hope people change
I need time to replace what I gave away
And my hopes, they are high, I must keep them small
Though I try to resist I still want it all.'

This is not a nice novel,it's not a easy story to read but it shines darkly amongst all the rainbow books out this month like a black diamond that is hypnotic in it's brilliance & since the author cleverly gives a shout out to Sens8,a series which I love,I give this book a loud screaming 5 stars just for that mention alone.

[Ariadna · Rating 2 out of 5]

*takes a deep breath, exhales*

Will and North were BFFs since childhood. There was a period of time after they turned 18 when they shared many intimate moments. Just when they are at their most vulnerable, outside influences shatter their relationship. Twelve years later, Will and North still live in Red Maine, a small fishing town in Australia. Both men are barely existing.

Will, who came out at a young age, runs a pub he co-owns with his father. He's resigned himself to living in a town where he's hated for being gay. His main reason to stay put is to look after his father (who suffered a stroke some time ago).

Meanwhile, North, who isn't straight, is stuck in a routine of bedding women, working at a steel mill, and getting blitzed at Will's pub. Despite hating his father (an abuser and alcoholic), North is following his path (if only by drinking).

But both men can only keep their attraction tampered down for so long...

You know those books that fight you every step of the way? One chapter you're going along with the plot just fine. The next, you're ready to DNF that book and forget you ever read it. This is that book.

I'm a sucker for pretty covers so I was v. much into that gorgeous photo. Adding the theme of "former friends-turned-(ex)lovers who get a second chance at romance" and I was READY for this novel. It's a real shame that the end product wasn't satisfying.

Will was OK as a character. It didn't take much to understand why he resented the town he'd lived at his whole life. That said, he was a doormat a lot of the time. Especially once he and North re-started their relationship. In some ways, I had to handwave the fact that he'd held on to his feelings for North for more than a decade.

North's personality was, let's say, challenging. I was v. thankful that this book had dual POV because I was close to losing my patience with North many times. This resulted in making it really hard to cheer/hope for Will and North to have their HEA. North was unlikable nearly 80% of the time. The novel took a long time to show us the reason for North's internal biphobia even though we spent nearly 1/2 of the book in his head. I disliked him less as the story went on but I think a big reason for that was my own stubbornness to see this book to the end.

The second biggest problem I had with this book was the blatant misogyny in it. Most women were "sluts", idiots, or too much of a caricature. Out of the 7-8 women who appear in the story, only 2 come across under a positive light: Sal (Will's father's girlfriend) and a nurse in the hospital (whose nonsense attitude was brilliant). The overall message (based on how women were portrayed) was that "women aren't to be trusted". V., v. offputting.

This is a terribly angsty story. The last third especially: the plot gets a darker tone that I found excessive seeing as there already was a lot of stuff for both guys to deal with.

The sex scenes were plentiful (both past and present). A lot of them (mainly those set in the present) almost veered off into hate sex. Will and North tend to fight in and out of bed (with insults and, in a few occasions, fisticuffs). I was OK with them being snarky, but the constant fighting dampened my enthusiasm for them.

Secondary characters were fine (though, again, except for Sal, all of the ones who were "good" were men).

TL;DR: I can't say I liked this book but I didn't hate it either. Do I recommend it? Hmm, maybe if you ever feel the need to see characters bump heads pretty much all the way through the novel. FWIW, I can barely muster the 2-star rating and highly doubt I'll read anything by this author ever again. #Ohwell

ETA: I've heard and read several people complaining about the graphic North/Tammy sex scenes. To that, I'd suggest that those people need to check themselves. It is VERY OBVIOUS that North isn't gay. He's attracted to women to the point of struggling with the fact that he likes guys and girls. He's bisexual, people. BISEXUAL!

Therefore, even after he's in a relationship with Will, he's still bi. It's a valid sexual orientation. Don't be a jerkface and act "disgusted" that there was M/F in this book. #DontbethatBIGOTEDperson

[Akknieszka · Rating 5 out of 5]

After this whole year, I still love them the same.

[~Stéphanie~ · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ever since I read Revelry, Carmen Jenner can count me in every time she writes a book! Add to this the fact Finding North is an M/M book and I'm in heaven.

Before going any further, I should clarify my rating right away. When I start a book they all start at 4 for me. I only keep my 5 star rating for books that blow my mind away and when I have loved everything. So being a 3 star book for me means I liked the book. It's very true for Finding North.
You start the story with Will who owns a bar in a small town in Australia. He's gay, the whole town knows and a lot of people don't respect it. Does he care? Nope

North is a guy who loves fucking around but is miserable most of the time? Why? Because he cares too much what others thinks, because he doesn't know how to be happy. At the same time, you can't really blame the guy, he was beaten by his own father who also told him countless time how useless he was.

Twelve years ago, Will and North were best friends, now they are barely talking to each other. Throughout the book, you'll understand what happened and put them in a situation where one has crushed the other's heart.



Finding North has something I've never read in an M/M book. Usually I read GFY trope but here we face a more realistic situation. Both guys are attracted to one another but one is gay while the other doesn't know how to come out.

Treating such a touchy subject was very well done by Carmen Jenner. You can see North struggles to accept who he is or more precisely what he feels. His whole life he has been told not too be that way. And even at 30 it was hard for him to just let it go.

Things were also hard for Will. He never forgot his best friend and the moment spent with him. He's still in love with him but he also remembers the way things ended, how his heart was crushed and how North let his own father and the whole town control his life. He resent North for it.



While I enjoyed most of my read, I wanted things to go a little deeper. I wanted more background on North, to get to know more what he suffered in his childhood. We get glimpse from his past and we get small insight with his father but to me it wasn't enough.
I also didn't understand why the sudden change in North. To me, it was like he didn't speak with Will for a long time and then they share past memories and goes back together. I needed a real reason to make it more believable.

As in all good M/M books, the sex is taking a huge part. I don't know if Carmen Jenner has already written about two guys together before but she has found some inspiration for sure because these two are definitely hot for each other!



~ARC provided by Give me books in exchange of an honest review ~

All graphics are from the author

[Toni FGMAMTC · Rating 3 out of 5]

FGMAMTC Blog Review + Trailer, Excerpt & Giveaway

Will and North were inseparable growing up. They live in a small community made up of fishermen and steel mill workers. All citizens have lived in Red Maine their entire lives and know everything about each other. People don't even lock their doors! And homosexuality is not accepted at all.

At 18, a rift separated Will and North. Twelve years have passed. Will is now known as the only gay man in town. He has taken over management of the only bar in town from his ailing father. North is just another blue collar worker who comes in to get drunk. It's a pretty sad set up.

The storyline switches from both men's POV. It also goes between past and present. In the beginning, the reader doesn't know what they went through at 18. When all the blanks are filled in, some scenes give the heart and feelings a good working-over.

The sex is super hot and delicious. Just a warning, there is a teeny bit of M/F. North tries to go the 100% hetero route, but his actions and thoughts seem to be somewhere between bi and GFY. If you're in the mood for two tough-as-nails, manual labor, alphas, you need to check this out. Finding North is full of whiskey, brawling, weed and love that conquers all.

***Copy given in exchange for an honest review***

Fangirl Moments and My Two Cents

Website / Facebook / Twitter / Google+ / Pinterest / Goodreads / Tumblr / tsū / Bloglovin'

[River · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.75 stars


This is a second chance love story, it is told in dual POVs and there are past and present chapters. (Past: 18 years old, present: 30 years old)


Will and North have known each other since they were kids, they were best friends for many years until one day something changed and they stopped talking to each other.

Will is an out and proud gay man living in a small Australian town full of homophobic bigoted assholes.

North is an unhappy man living with many secrets, regrets and desires, his only escape is alcohol.



"North will never change. Twelve years on and I’m still his dirty little secret. And the thing that tears me apart is the knowledge that this is all I’ll ever be”



The book starts with North drinking at Will's bar, he spends all his nights there after work. They don't actually talk unless it's to insult each other. There are unresolved issues and after so many years they live with too much hate.

The problem is, no matter how much Will hates North, he is and always will be the love of his life.

One night North decides he doesn't want to keep denying himself so he makes a move.



“But that’s the problem with dreams. Reality always slams you back down to earth, and you wonder why you ever hoped for anything more than what you have because it’s all a lie.”



This story is a journey, North's journey to accepting himself and fighting for his happiness.

What made North leave Will 12 years ago?

Why is North so afraid?

Why is North "straight" in the eyes of everyone?

Why Will hates North so much?

We learn all of this and more in the little past chapters.

This was a hard book to review for me. See, i don't like having an opinion on things I don't understand, i am not gay and even if i were the people close to me wouldn't even bat an eyelash if i decided to come out, so I don't really understand North's mindset.

I was very frustrated with North, he's such a coward and let's not ignore the fact that it took him 12 years to put on his grownup pants! But like i said, I don't really understand.

I wanted Will to move on and just leave this awful town and look for happiness but his happiness is Will.

In the end North proved himself and i loved every second of it.



“I know I’ll never love anyone again the way I love Will.”

[Kristine GPI Bookblog · Rating 5 out of 5]

"North was my childhood. My first love. But he's nothing to me now. We're nothing. We stopped freefalling, and now we're standing still."

I've read quite a lot of MM over the past few years, and while most undoubtedly have got me hot under the collar, feeding off a raw sexual magnetism that the characters possess, few have truly found a place in my heart for examining what it means to find a bond with someone that so much of the world tells them they shouldn't be attracted to, for me so much of the MM I've read has focused solely on the sexual connection, without focusing on the soul deep connection. We live in a world full of stereotypes, of ideals like falling in love is joyous, and yet accompanied by addendums like, only if the person you fall for doesn't deviate from the preconceived norm, it's a unfortunate fact that even in 2016 people still fear what they don't understand, and the reality is there is so much fear and repression surrounding homosexuality, it goes against so many religious and cultural teachings, as far as the story goes boy and girl meet, fall in love, get married, have babies, that's it, the end... but what happens when despite all you've been taught growing up flies in the face of what you feel, what you have no choice but in feeling, in knowing to be true?

"Hell, I didn't fall. I'm still f*cking falling, and there isn't a safety net in the world big enough to catch me."

For Red Maine's resident manwhore North Underwood, life is well...it's pretty average actually, he spends his days at the mill doing physically demanding work, he drinks at his local after knock off, he's had his fair share of willing women to warm his bed, what he doesn't have is a connection to his once best mate Will Tanner, the once inseparable pair now have little to talk about, they certainly aren't friends, their conversation is limited to ordering a drink across a bar, years of friendship during their formative years is a distance memory, until North is given a chance to reconnect with Will, and he'll be damned not to take advantage of it, despite the lewd comments that get thrown around touting Will's sexuality as anything other than normal, despite the hate speech and vitriol that his homophobic father and co workers are sure to send his way, there's a sense of longing for what was, and of hope for what never may be.

"When his eyes meet mine they're both furious and full of fear. That's all he is: fear. From head to toe, a frightened little boy, so afraid to feel. So afraid to be found out as a faggot."

It's no big secret that I often listen to music when reading and reviewing, there's a line in Hanging By A Moment where Jason Wade croons that's he desperate for change, starving for truth, there's a feeling that in that moment it's both Will and North he's singing about, Will having spent so many years waiting for North to admit what he was feeling and North desperate for the courage, the strength to go after what he's wanted, when Wade sings "I'm closer to where I started, I'm chasing after you." there's that sense of being on a merry go round, the sense that the past twelve years apart have faded into dust, that North has got one foot out the door, and Will is still standing in the same spot he was all those years ago, still chasing after the idea of something that could be great but only if they both are willing to take a chance.

"I'd go through all of that for just one day of not having to hide, but it doesn't matter, because North will never change. Twelve years on and I'm still his dirty little secret. And the thing that tears me apart is the knowledge that this is all I've ever be."

There's a strangling sense of repression in Finding North, much like the title suggest, Jenner's latest work examines more than just coming out and sexuality, more than predetermined gender roles, bravely looking at sexuality as fluid, as more than black and white, as more than I like men or I like women, it takes a look at small town life, where sometimes the most convenient way to live is buried deep in the closet, where discrimination is more than just shouted words, or rude gestures, it's hatred, and violence, and destruction, it's FEAR.

"The fear, a blackness that roils constantly in my belly, threatens to overcome me and all I want to do is sink to my knees and sob. Instead, I fall into Will, and I find it's a pretty soft place to land."

There's so much more here than two men fighting and falling for each other, there's more than childhood bestfriends realising that there was more there for them, there's more here than a man who isn't quite sure what he identifies as or who he is. Finding North captivated me from the very first page, Will's voice full of innocence and wonder cemented that I couldn't put it down. Jenner's writing continues to go from strength to strength, her multi dimensional approach to contemporary romance means that Finding North is about more than steamy MM sex scenes, while are present - there's a element of it feeling natural, raw, unscripted, and more than that, her ability to create places like Red Maine that feel so inherently real that you can feel the dust swirling around your skin, sense the sun beating down hot on your face, but the thing that cements her place as author who leaves me giddy with anticipation for what's coming next, is her ability to create characters that are flawed, passionate, selfish, nervous, angry, sarcastic, loving, desperate... relatable...REAL...characters like Will and North, who wear their pasts, their indiscretions, their faults and their flaws like a badge of honour, saying this is who I am, I'm not perfect and that's okay, because who I am is enough.

This story gives a voice to anyone who has ever felt alone, unaccepted, unloved, it begs them to believe a little more, to accept those parts of themselves that cut like shards of glass tearing away at their strength, at their hope, Finding North tells the reader that we're all a little bent, a little broken and that's okay.

To read more GPI reviews head to: http://glasspaperinkbookblog.blogspot...

[Jinx]

There is nothing I hate worse than picking up a M/M book that contains extremely descriptive on-page M/F sex involving one of the MC's. IMO that's really lame. If I wanted that in a book I wouldn't being reading M/M. DNF!

[Tash · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reviewed @ Confessions From Romaholics
Review copy kindly provided by author in exchange for a honest review
Over the years I have picked and chosen my M/M reads. In the early days it was all about the cheesiness. However that quickly changed when I discovered the poignant tales out there. There may be only a few that have stolen my heart and totally torn into pieces but these stories were special and had stories that I couldn’t forget in a heartbeat.

When it came to Finding North, I knew regardless whenever I picked up the book, I had a winner. Jenner has countless proven herself as a writer with her books which have varied between genres . I haven’t yet to be disappoint with one of her books but this one may take the cake and become my ultimate favourite of her’s.

Jenner takes you through the wringer with her latest book. It is in your face, confronting, telling a story of two men trying to find their way to each other and facing small town mentality . This story isn’t about the sexual tension or coming out. This story about two men and their bond, A soulful bond that has tested them time and time again due to the fact they are two men that quiet simply in love with each other but have obstacles standing in their way.

North Underwood is Red Main’s manwhore and proud of it. However deep underneath the manwhore lies a man who is trouble. He may appear to his fellow steelworkers as one of the guys. However inside him there is inner turmoil that driving him crazy and making him do brash things as he missing the one connection that shaped his life.

Will

Will Tanner his best friend , his partner in crime. Something happened a number of years ago and they went from being best friends to almost strangers. These days he has barely a word for him. Only speaking to him out of necessity to order a drink at the bar. Until one night it becomes all too much and North is given the second chance he so desperately wants with the one guy who he never can’t get out of his head.

Will had his fair share of problems when he came out and he accepted the fact he had to lose North as friend thanks to the North’s homophobic father and co-workers. He has gotten used to the treatment and has accepted he will never have what he wants.

North

Until that second chance that sends them spiralling together and opens all the wounds and creates new ones. Will has waited for this moment for years, for North to take the step of courage and take a leap of faith. As Will is sure of whom he is and has never made any allowances. However for North everything may be thrown out of the window but at what cost?


Jenner doesn’t hold back with her stories and this probably her most powerful of them all. Finding North is more then just a story of North finding himself. It is a raw story telling a story of two men in love whose world is clouded by world stereotypes and more. This isn’t a story of happiness all and that crap. It is a story that resinates with the times, that still after all the advances we have made. There still the stigma. As this story is about going for someone you feel deep about despite knowing that it will change your situation and the outlook everyone has about you. A story that wouldn’t be out of place in the world today as it is realistic as they come.

Whether you are a seasoned reader of M/M like me or a newbie testing the waters. Finding North is a masterpiece that will resinate closer to home that you will ever think. It is a beautiful story of finding yourself and more. That words can’t even describe. Do yourself your favour and get this book now as you will be blow away by this book as there is a little bit of Will and North in everyone . A story that will shake you at your core and change your feelings. Will and North story is magical and won’t be one I will forget in a hurry because of the lessons that they taught.

6 couples





For more of my reviews, visit Confessions From Romaholics.And drop by the blog's Facebook page

[Jen · Rating 5 out of 5]

We all hear the saying #LoveIsLove, and there are many of us truly believe it—who feel that you should be able to love whoever you want. The heart knows no bounds. You love who you love and who’s to dictate where your true love lies. Why do some people feel the need to be the judge and jury, spewing hatred and their bigoted beliefs that two people of the same sex can’t love each other?

In Carmen Jenner’s latest book, Finding North, she delves into the topic head on, giving us two characters I fell in love with—my whole heart was captured, and their love story is one for the record books.

We all have that go-to person—the one we share memories with of building forts, diving in the water, causing trouble and growing up carefree. Will and North have had a life-long friendship. From childhood through their teenage years, their friendship was a huge part of their lives. That was what Will and North were to each other.

Until one day, lines were crossed, becoming blurry and fuzzy and there was no going back. Their friendship was shattered and that bond was severed.

“North is heartbreak. North is a headfuck. North had been my whole world. He was no good for me then, and he’s still no good for me. I know that, and yet I’ve never wanted anything more.”

Things seem to be changing for North, as he can’t deny his attraction to Will and even with his fear of being found out, he wants Will. He somehow has to come to terms with what will happen when the town learns the truth.

Will and North battle the demons around them, trying so desperately to find their happily ever after. But in a world of hatred and bigotry, you can try with all your might to ignore the hatred, but it doesn’t mean that it it’s easy to live with.

“They’re just words, North. They have no weight unless you give them meaning. People can only make you feel small if you let them.”

Can they face their true feelings and reach happiness despite judgment and fear? Finding North was a fantastic story. Carmen gave me two men I loved with all my heart.

[Christelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

A lot of anger in this book. Yes, anger.

North and Will grew up together in a small town, both without a mother but with very different fathers, a drunk one who uses his son as a punch bag, the other tolerant and supportive. During their teenage years, they both get into a relationship until North pushed Will away and they go into adulthood in different ways : Will embracing his gayness despite the surrounding homophobia (really, really heavy) and North living under the shadows of his abusing father while despising him.
They both ignore each other for 12 years, up to the moment where North gives up and goes after Will, strugginge to accept who he is and loves. Will is torn between his love for North and his anger for the pain North inflicted him and won’t accept to be ashamed being gay.

My feelings about this story were a constant back and forth between love and hate.
What I didn’t like : the violence (between and among all the characters - it made me uncomfortable), the way women were pictured (the clichés were unnecessary), the absence of development of part of the story (what leads for North to look for Will after 12 years and the rushed ending). Oh, and the number of times the words “pussy” and “arsehole” were used !!
What I liked : the emotions of the characters pictured by the author. It’s raw, desperate, sometimes, it’s even ugly, but it felt real. The chemistry between Will and North is strong and the sex scenes are hot.

In overall, 3 stars because even though I was not always comfortable while reading, I was into the story all along.

[Asia · Rating 5 out of 5]

drugi raz i nie zmienilabym ilosci gwiazdek. po prostu nie. ta książka, ci ludzie... nie zapomnę nigdy tego szoku gdy go pobili, nie zapomnne nigdy tego szoku ze zrobila to wczesniej i teraz ta sama osoba. nie moge sie otrzasnac z tego ze tyle lat na to pozwalano. widzialam wczoraj na facebooku taki obrazek pt czego sobie zyczy czytelnik i jedna czesc, dosc potezna , mowila o tym, ze czytelnik chcialby wejsc do ksiazki i sie rozprawic z bohaterami. chetnie bym stanela wtedy za tym tam..."policjantem" i przystawila mu pistolet do glowy, albo moja zeliwna patelnie, za to ze pozwolil staremu sie panoszyc...biorac jego pierwszego z brzegu... bo sadze ze z polowy miasta zrobilabym chetnie strzelnice;) moglabym tak gadac gadac gadac.. bardzo mi sie podobala. wszystko to przez Marte:P przypomniałaś mi o niej.

[ItaPixie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Finding North was the first book written by Carmen Jenner that I've read and I really liked it.
The author delivered a very good story,hot and emotional,that keeps the reader's attention throughout the book.
I was so shocked (in a good way) to see that the story takes place in Australia because I'm too used to read US books but I'm really curious about new countries.
I've loved Will since the beginning,he is so proud and he doesn't let the homophobic citizens of his little village to put him down making his life a nightmare. North,on the other hand,grew on me page after page as he gradually understands he is not a bad person due to his sexual liking and he starts to fight for what or better for who he loves.

Copy kindly provided by the Publisher/Author.