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Apex Magazine #80
Apex Magazine Issue 80
Apex Magazine is a monthly science fiction, fantasy, and horror magazine featuring original, mind-bending short fiction from many of the top pros of the field. New issues are released on the first Tuesday of every month.
Extra large Customer Appreciation issue!
TABLE OF CONTENTS
FICTION
The Tomato Thief—Ursula Vernon
The Open-Hearted—Lettie Prell
Soursop—Chikodili Emelumadu
Bones of the World—Jennifer Hykes
That Lucky Old Sun—Carrie Cuinn
Razorback—Ursula Vernon
Kutraya’s Skies—Dave Creek
Riding Atlas—Ferrett Steinmetz
Paper Tigers (Novel Excerpt)—Damien Angelica Walters
NONFICTION
Interview with Ursula Vernon—Andrea Johnson
Interview with Chikodili Emelumadu—Andrea Johnson
Interview with Lettie Prell—Andrea Johnson
Interview with Matt Davis, Cover Artist—Russell Dickerson
An Exploration of Racism in Heart of Darkness—Lucy A. Snyder
POETRY
RX-200 Series: It’s Everything You Need—Samson Stormcrow Hayes
Upside of the Cataclysmic Meteor—Zebulon Huset
The Doctor’s Assistant—Anton Rose
In the Far Future, Billy Experiences the Most Powerful Drug Known to Man—Greg Leunig
Automaton—Bianca Spriggs
Maxwell’s Demon—Annie Neugebauer
Various Kinds of Wolves—J.J. Hunter
Editorial
Words from the Editor-in-Chief — Jason Sizemore
Extra large Customer Appreciation issue!
TABLE OF CONTENTS
FICTION
The Tomato Thief—Ursula Vernon
The Open-Hearted—Lettie Prell
Soursop—Chikodili Emelumadu
Bones of the World—Jennifer Hykes
That Lucky Old Sun—Carrie Cuinn
Razorback—Ursula Vernon
Kutraya’s Skies—Dave Creek
Riding Atlas—Ferrett Steinmetz
Paper Tigers (Novel Excerpt)—Damien Angelica Walters
NONFICTION
Interview with Ursula Vernon—Andrea Johnson
Interview with Chikodili Emelumadu—Andrea Johnson
Interview with Lettie Prell—Andrea Johnson
Interview with Matt Davis, Cover Artist—Russell Dickerson
An Exploration of Racism in Heart of Darkness—Lucy A. Snyder
POETRY
RX-200 Series: It’s Everything You Need—Samson Stormcrow Hayes
Upside of the Cataclysmic Meteor—Zebulon Huset
The Doctor’s Assistant—Anton Rose
In the Far Future, Billy Experiences the Most Powerful Drug Known to Man—Greg Leunig
Automaton—Bianca Spriggs
Maxwell’s Demon—Annie Neugebauer
Various Kinds of Wolves—J.J. Hunter
Editorial
Words from the Editor-in-Chief — Jason Sizemore
254 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 2, 2016
5 people are currently reading
575 people want to read
About the author
Jason Sizemore
120 books115 followersI was born the son of an unemployed coal miner in a tiny Kentucky Appalachian villa named Big Creek (population 400). It’s an isolated area with beautiful rolling hills, thick forests, and country folk. I lived in Big Creek until I went to college, spending my weekends cruising the Winn Dixie parking lot of ladies, partying in my cousin’s run-down three room trailer, and being a member of the bad-ass Clay County High School Academic Team.
College was quite a shock for me. Girls! Minorities! Strip clubs! And it didn’t help that I attended Transylvania University, a fairly snotty (but excellent) private college in Lexington, KY (on scholarship… no way my family could have sent me otherwise). I graduated in the standard four years with a degree in Computer Science.
Since 1996, I’ve worked for evil corporations (IBM), dot com dreamers (eCampus.com), The Man (both city and state government), and for The Kids (KY Dept. of Education), and assholes (lots and lots of assholes).
In 2004, I decided my life was boring, that I no longer needed disposable income, and I needed to increase my stress levels. I started Apex Publications, a small press publisher of science fiction, fantasy, and horror. At first it was just a small print zine, then a pro-level online zine, then books, and then ebooks.
I edit anthologies, mostly for Apex (because I’m a control freak). I occasionally do copy editing (when pressed) and have done plenty of acquisition editing over the years.
I also write. I don’t really write enough to leave a mark, but it seems to go well when I do put pen to paper.
Miscellaneous facts about me: left-handed, blue eyes, super geeky, hillbilly accent, near-sighted, and typically in a goofy mood.
Also, and most importantly, I’m not the drunkard all those Facebook photos makes me out to be. It just happens that cameras are always around when I… have libations. Honest!
College was quite a shock for me. Girls! Minorities! Strip clubs! And it didn’t help that I attended Transylvania University, a fairly snotty (but excellent) private college in Lexington, KY (on scholarship… no way my family could have sent me otherwise). I graduated in the standard four years with a degree in Computer Science.
Since 1996, I’ve worked for evil corporations (IBM), dot com dreamers (eCampus.com), The Man (both city and state government), and for The Kids (KY Dept. of Education), and assholes (lots and lots of assholes).
In 2004, I decided my life was boring, that I no longer needed disposable income, and I needed to increase my stress levels. I started Apex Publications, a small press publisher of science fiction, fantasy, and horror. At first it was just a small print zine, then a pro-level online zine, then books, and then ebooks.
I edit anthologies, mostly for Apex (because I’m a control freak). I occasionally do copy editing (when pressed) and have done plenty of acquisition editing over the years.
I also write. I don’t really write enough to leave a mark, but it seems to go well when I do put pen to paper.
Miscellaneous facts about me: left-handed, blue eyes, super geeky, hillbilly accent, near-sighted, and typically in a goofy mood.
Also, and most importantly, I’m not the drunkard all those Facebook photos makes me out to be. It just happens that cameras are always around when I… have libations. Honest!
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 124 reviews
July 19, 2017
“The world was hard and fierce, but it also contained tomato sandwiches, and if that didn’t make it a world worth living in, your standards were unreasonably high.”
Surprising, heartwarming, delightful! This weird tale about an old lady growing tomatoes is more epic than most epic fantasies out there!
Grandma Harken doesn’t like company. She lives in the wilderness all by herself, because that’s the best spot for growing tomatoes. And her tomatoes are the best! So sweet and juicy! She can hardly wait for the moment they are ripe, so she can make a tomato sandwich.
And then, one tomato is almost ripe. It will be ripe tomorrow. Grandma prepares, thinking of eating it and imagining all the following sensations. But then she goes out to pick it, and it’s missing. She refuses to believe it and keeps looking and looking, but it’s just gone.
Someone stole the ripe tomato, but they have no idea what they are in for.
“You did not steal an old lady’s tomatoes. It was rude, and also, she would destroy you.”
Ha! As someone who grew up in a place with amazing tomatoes, and now lives in a place where tomatoes taste like plastic, I can sympathize with the desire to protect every good tomato.
But the thief is not what she expects. After a feat of strength, cleverness, and determination, Grandma succeeds. Her tomatoes are safe... but the Tomato Thief is not, and she wants to help. Maybe she’s kind-hearted... or probably she just wants the adventure.
And then, we are treated to a delightful mix of Native American myths – coyotes, the desert, lizards, shapeshifters. We even get a guest star appearance from a certain deathless individual from Slavic folklore. And train gods! Seriously, train gods!
Then I come to Goodreads to write my review, and what do I see? This story is a sequel! I had no idea Grandma Harken is an established character we are already supposed to know and love. But this wasn’t a problem at all – I knew her and loved her from page one!
February 19, 2022
*Note* This review and rating is ONLY for Ursula Vernon's pieces, the Hugo award-winning novelette, The Tomato Thief and a short story, Razorback.
The Tomato Thief
A perfect story for the end of the year.
http://www.apex-magazine.com/the-toma...
Mixing Native mythology with classic fairytales and the rise of the railroad can have lovely results. For a few moments, on New Years' Eve, in the cold and dark north, I was in the hot, dry desert, baking in the sun.
“I need your old mule,” Grandma Harken told him. “The one I like to ride.”
Tomas looked at her, gazed briefly heavenward, and said, “That mule died five years ago, Abuela Harken.”
Grandma blinked. “What’d he die of?”
“Old age,” said Tomas, who was always extremely respectful but had a sense of humor anyway."
Truly, an engrossing little story full of all my favorite elements: determination, magic, women tough as sinew, humor and a feeling of a tale as old as people. I read through a number of other reviews and suspect that what some reviewers are missing is a familiarity with both Native myths and with a particular classic fairy tale. If you are familiar with the latter, Vernon's transformation of it in the New World is clever and enjoyable. It's been a while since I read various Native mythology, but world origin myths are particularly... different, and I suspect don't necessarily translate well conceptually. There's a section in this that reminds me of those. At any rate, a fabulous, multi-layered little read.
She put it in her pocket, because something the desert gives you an answer, and it is your job to find the question.
Still, I disagree with Grandma on the value of a fresh tomato sandwich.
Razorback
http://www.apex-magazine.com/razorback/
Vernon just keeps nailing it with the updated version of familiar bloody folk-tale and fairy tale themes in the story of a rural witch who found a kind of solid companionship in a friendly hog. Not quite as lyrical as her other stories, it has a familiar lead from Vernon short stories; a strong, stubborn, isolated woman of power. I appreciate the tale's acknowledgement that there are social risks in that position, and that certain men will always see outliers as prey. A moving sort of romance and a nice twist to a traditional sort of cost-situation. There's some interesting self-reference in this as the narrator elaborates on several local accounts of 'what really happened.'
Three and a half, rounding up for the bloody sweetness.
The Tomato Thief
A perfect story for the end of the year.
http://www.apex-magazine.com/the-toma...
Mixing Native mythology with classic fairytales and the rise of the railroad can have lovely results. For a few moments, on New Years' Eve, in the cold and dark north, I was in the hot, dry desert, baking in the sun.
“I need your old mule,” Grandma Harken told him. “The one I like to ride.”
Tomas looked at her, gazed briefly heavenward, and said, “That mule died five years ago, Abuela Harken.”
Grandma blinked. “What’d he die of?”
“Old age,” said Tomas, who was always extremely respectful but had a sense of humor anyway."
Truly, an engrossing little story full of all my favorite elements: determination, magic, women tough as sinew, humor and a feeling of a tale as old as people. I read through a number of other reviews and suspect that what some reviewers are missing is a familiarity with both Native myths and with a particular classic fairy tale. If you are familiar with the latter, Vernon's transformation of it in the New World is clever and enjoyable. It's been a while since I read various Native mythology, but world origin myths are particularly... different, and I suspect don't necessarily translate well conceptually. There's a section in this that reminds me of those. At any rate, a fabulous, multi-layered little read.
She put it in her pocket, because something the desert gives you an answer, and it is your job to find the question.
Still, I disagree with Grandma on the value of a fresh tomato sandwich.
Razorback
http://www.apex-magazine.com/razorback/
Vernon just keeps nailing it with the updated version of familiar bloody folk-tale and fairy tale themes in the story of a rural witch who found a kind of solid companionship in a friendly hog. Not quite as lyrical as her other stories, it has a familiar lead from Vernon short stories; a strong, stubborn, isolated woman of power. I appreciate the tale's acknowledgement that there are social risks in that position, and that certain men will always see outliers as prey. A moving sort of romance and a nice twist to a traditional sort of cost-situation. There's some interesting self-reference in this as the narrator elaborates on several local accounts of 'what really happened.'
Three and a half, rounding up for the bloody sweetness.
August 13, 2017
I reread The Tomato Thief since this novelette was nominated for a 2017 Hugo award (ETA: it won!), and I've upped my rating to 5 stars on reread. It's a marvelous southwestern desert story with an original mythology that tips its hat to Native American and Russian folklore (check out Koschei), and it's free online at Apex Magazine. Review first posted on Fantasy Literature:
The Tomato Thief is Ursula Vernon's a sequel to Jackalope Wives, her Nebula award-winning short story about Grandma Harken and a jackalope woman accidentally trapped in between her shapes by Grandma Harken’s moodily attractive grandson. Now that her troublesome grandson has been shipped back east, she can relax in her desert home and enjoy ripe tomatoes from her garden in peace ... or not.
Her prized tomatoes start disappearing from the vine, with no footprints or signs to show who or what is the thief.
Like “Jackalope Wives,” The Tomato Thief is told in a folksy voice, and has a Native American-flavored mythology. In this sequel, the mythology is explored further and takes some unexpected turns. My favorites were the train-gods, who woke when the white men built train tracks across the desert, took over the trains, and chose as train-priests some of the laborers (mostly of Chinese descent) who had built the tracks, “[p]eople who had, with toil and tears, earned the gods’ regard.” The railroad magnates, who were furious when their trains developed a mind of their own, tried to take back control with the help of the government’s armies but ― after a couple of regiments were eaten by the train-gods ― they changed their minds. So:
The Tomato Thief is Ursula Vernon's a sequel to Jackalope Wives, her Nebula award-winning short story about Grandma Harken and a jackalope woman accidentally trapped in between her shapes by Grandma Harken’s moodily attractive grandson. Now that her troublesome grandson has been shipped back east, she can relax in her desert home and enjoy ripe tomatoes from her garden in peace ... or not.
Her prized tomatoes start disappearing from the vine, with no footprints or signs to show who or what is the thief.
She wrapped herself up in a quilt that night and sat in the rocking chair on the back porch. “We’ll see what kind of rat bastard steals an old lady’s tomatoes,” she grumbled.It takes a few nights and some creativity to evade the sleep spell that strikes her each night, but eventually she sees a shapechanging figure picking her beloved tomatoes. But Grandma Harken hides a bit of a soft heart under her gruff exterior, and when the thief turns out to be also a victim, Grandma Harken once again takes action to solve another person’s problem.
(Grandma Harken thought of herself as an old lady, because she was one. That she was tougher than tree roots and barbed wire did not matter. You did not steal an old lady’s tomatoes. It was rude, and also, she would destroy you.)
Like “Jackalope Wives,” The Tomato Thief is told in a folksy voice, and has a Native American-flavored mythology. In this sequel, the mythology is explored further and takes some unexpected turns. My favorites were the train-gods, who woke when the white men built train tracks across the desert, took over the trains, and chose as train-priests some of the laborers (mostly of Chinese descent) who had built the tracks, “[p]eople who had, with toil and tears, earned the gods’ regard.” The railroad magnates, who were furious when their trains developed a mind of their own, tried to take back control with the help of the government’s armies but ― after a couple of regiments were eaten by the train-gods ― they changed their minds. So:
Freight got moved, more or less. Sometimes it wound up in the wrong place or was summarily dumped in the middle of nowhere. The machines were capricious gods. (This was part of the reason for the price of coffee.)Grandma Harken is an endearing character, mixing grumpy determination and homespun wisdom. The Tomato Thief is longer and more fragmented than the wonderful “Jackalope Wives,” and didn’t have quite the same impact on me, but it's a delight to spend a little more time enjoying Grandma Harken’s blunt-spoken but insightful company, seeing this richly imagined, magical and dangerous world through her eyes.
They were very good about letters, though. Anna’s grandson was the current train-priest, and he said that his god thought letters were prayers and moved them as a kind of professional courtesy.
You appreciated that sort of thing in a god.
April 29, 2021
WELCOME TO DECEMBER PROJECT!
last year, amy(other amy) tipped me off to this cool thing she was doing: the short story advent calendar, where you sign up to this thingie here and you get a free story each day.
i dropped the ball and by the time i came to my senses, it had already sold out, so for december project, i'm going rogue and just reading a free online story a day of my choosing. this foolhardy endeavor is going to screw up my already-deep-in-the-weeds review backlog, so i don't think i will be reviewing each individual story "properly." i might just do a picture review or - if i am feeling wicked motivated, i will draw something, but i can't be treating each short story like a real book and spending half my day examining and dissecting it, so we'll just see what shape this project takes as we go.
and if you know of any particularly good short stories available free online, let me know! i'm no good at finding them myself unless they're on the tor.com site, and i only have enough at this stage of the game to fill half my calendar. <--- that part is no longer true, but i am still interested in getting suggestions!
DECEMBER 23
The core of being a witch is that you don’t fall down while there’s work to be done. Sometimes that means you invent work to keep yourself standing upright.
another spectacular short story by ursula vernon. she has such a knack for creating tales that sound like folklore that's been passed down through the generations but are actually just products of her own fertile imagination. this one is about the friendship between a witch and a razorback hog, and the sacrifices we make for those we love best. i absolutely adore her, and i am eager to read anything she ever writes. bring it on!
read it for yourself here:
http://www.apex-magazine.com/razorback/
DECEMBER 1: FABLE - CHARLES YU
DECEMBER 2: THE REAL DEAL - ANDY WEIR
DECEMBER 3: THE WAYS OF WALLS AND WORDS - SABRINA VOURVOULIAS
DECEMBER 4: GHOSTS AND EMPTIES - LAUREN GROFF
DECEMBER 5: THE RETURN OF THE THIN WHITE DUKE - NEIL GAIMAN
DECEMBER 6: WHEN THE YOGURT TOOK OVER - JOHN SCALZI
DECEMBER 7: A CHRISTMAS PAGEANT - DONNA TARTT
DECEMBER 8: DEEP - PHILIP PLAIT
DECEMBER 9: COOKIE JAR - STEPHEN KING
DECEMBER 10: THE STORY OF KAO YU - PETER S. BEAGLE
DECEMBER 11: THE HEEBIE-JEEBIES - ALAN BEARD
DECEMBER 12: THE TOMATO THIEF - URSULA VERNON
DECEMBER 13: THE JAWS THAT BITE, THE CLAWS THAT CATCH - SEANAN MCGUIRE
DECEMBER 14: ROLLING IN THE DEEP - JULIO ALEXI GENAO
DECEMBER 15: ANTIHYPOXIANT - ANDY WEIR
DECEMBER 16: THE AMBUSH - DONNA TARTT
DECEMBER 17: THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A TRAITOR AND A HALF-SAVAGE - ALIX HARROW
DECEMBER 18: THE CHRISTMAS SHOW - PAT CADIGAN
DECEMBER 19: THE GHOSTS OF CHRISTMAS - PAUL CORNELL
DECEMBER 20: THE TRAINS THAT CLIMB THE WINTER TREE - MICHAEL SWANWICK
DECEMBER 21: BLUE IS A DARKNESS WEAKENED BY LIGHT - SARAH MCCARRY
DECEMBER 22: WATERS OF VERSAILLES - KELLY ROBSON
DECEMBER 24: DIARY OF AN ASSCAN - ANDY WEIR
DECEMBER 25: CHANGING MEANINGS - SEANAN MCGUIRE
DECEMBER 26: SHOGGOTHS IN BLOOM - ELIZABETH BEAR
DECEMBER 27: THE CARTOGRAPHY OF SUDDEN DEATH - CHARLIE JANE ANDERS
DECEMBER 28: FRIEDRICH THE SNOW MAN - LEWIS SHINER
DECEMBER 29: DRESS YOUR MARINES IN WHITE - EMMY LAYBOURNE
DECEMBER 30: AM I FREE TO GO? - KATHRYN CRAMER
DECEMBER 31: OLD DEAD FUTURES - TINA CONNOLLY
come to my blog!
last year, amy(other amy) tipped me off to this cool thing she was doing: the short story advent calendar, where you sign up to this thingie here and you get a free story each day.
i dropped the ball and by the time i came to my senses, it had already sold out, so for december project, i'm going rogue and just reading a free online story a day of my choosing. this foolhardy endeavor is going to screw up my already-deep-in-the-weeds review backlog, so i don't think i will be reviewing each individual story "properly." i might just do a picture review or - if i am feeling wicked motivated, i will draw something, but i can't be treating each short story like a real book and spending half my day examining and dissecting it, so we'll just see what shape this project takes as we go.
and if you know of any particularly good short stories available free online, let me know! i'm no good at finding them myself unless they're on the tor.com site, and i only have enough at this stage of the game to fill half my calendar. <--- that part is no longer true, but i am still interested in getting suggestions!
DECEMBER 23
The core of being a witch is that you don’t fall down while there’s work to be done. Sometimes that means you invent work to keep yourself standing upright.
another spectacular short story by ursula vernon. she has such a knack for creating tales that sound like folklore that's been passed down through the generations but are actually just products of her own fertile imagination. this one is about the friendship between a witch and a razorback hog, and the sacrifices we make for those we love best. i absolutely adore her, and i am eager to read anything she ever writes. bring it on!
read it for yourself here:
http://www.apex-magazine.com/razorback/
DECEMBER 1: FABLE - CHARLES YU
DECEMBER 2: THE REAL DEAL - ANDY WEIR
DECEMBER 3: THE WAYS OF WALLS AND WORDS - SABRINA VOURVOULIAS
DECEMBER 4: GHOSTS AND EMPTIES - LAUREN GROFF
DECEMBER 5: THE RETURN OF THE THIN WHITE DUKE - NEIL GAIMAN
DECEMBER 6: WHEN THE YOGURT TOOK OVER - JOHN SCALZI
DECEMBER 7: A CHRISTMAS PAGEANT - DONNA TARTT
DECEMBER 8: DEEP - PHILIP PLAIT
DECEMBER 9: COOKIE JAR - STEPHEN KING
DECEMBER 10: THE STORY OF KAO YU - PETER S. BEAGLE
DECEMBER 11: THE HEEBIE-JEEBIES - ALAN BEARD
DECEMBER 12: THE TOMATO THIEF - URSULA VERNON
DECEMBER 13: THE JAWS THAT BITE, THE CLAWS THAT CATCH - SEANAN MCGUIRE
DECEMBER 14: ROLLING IN THE DEEP - JULIO ALEXI GENAO
DECEMBER 15: ANTIHYPOXIANT - ANDY WEIR
DECEMBER 16: THE AMBUSH - DONNA TARTT
DECEMBER 17: THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A TRAITOR AND A HALF-SAVAGE - ALIX HARROW
DECEMBER 18: THE CHRISTMAS SHOW - PAT CADIGAN
DECEMBER 19: THE GHOSTS OF CHRISTMAS - PAUL CORNELL
DECEMBER 20: THE TRAINS THAT CLIMB THE WINTER TREE - MICHAEL SWANWICK
DECEMBER 21: BLUE IS A DARKNESS WEAKENED BY LIGHT - SARAH MCCARRY
DECEMBER 22: WATERS OF VERSAILLES - KELLY ROBSON
DECEMBER 24: DIARY OF AN ASSCAN - ANDY WEIR
DECEMBER 25: CHANGING MEANINGS - SEANAN MCGUIRE
DECEMBER 26: SHOGGOTHS IN BLOOM - ELIZABETH BEAR
DECEMBER 27: THE CARTOGRAPHY OF SUDDEN DEATH - CHARLIE JANE ANDERS
DECEMBER 28: FRIEDRICH THE SNOW MAN - LEWIS SHINER
DECEMBER 29: DRESS YOUR MARINES IN WHITE - EMMY LAYBOURNE
DECEMBER 30: AM I FREE TO GO? - KATHRYN CRAMER
DECEMBER 31: OLD DEAD FUTURES - TINA CONNOLLY
come to my blog! 
April 11, 2017
Grandma Herken was a crusty old bitty. She lived on the outskirts of town near the desert. A solitary old soul, she claimed she would "rather get bit by a rattlesnake than the neighbors". Grandma's true love was her garden of magnificent, juicy tomatoes. Why would anyone steal her prized possession nightly while she was dreaming of enjoying a tomato sandwich? With wit, magic, and determination she tries to catch the tomato thief. Discovery of a shape-changer, a mockingbird-woman named Marguerite, leads to a consultation with the train-gods. Perhaps the train-priest can determine where the world has folded and why train tracks run through it?
Author Ursula Vernon uses fantasy, spirits, and mythology to create a short fiction filled with humor and wisdom. Having never read the "Jackalope Wives", I read it as well. By reading both stories, the colorful life of Grandma Herken was enhanced. "The Tomato Thief" by Ursula Vernon was a fun read.
Author Ursula Vernon uses fantasy, spirits, and mythology to create a short fiction filled with humor and wisdom. Having never read the "Jackalope Wives", I read it as well. By reading both stories, the colorful life of Grandma Herken was enhanced. "The Tomato Thief" by Ursula Vernon was a fun read.
July 11, 2019
At first I thought I was not going to like "Tomato Thief" as much as Jackalope Wives. Stolen tomatoes seemed too light, to frivolous. I should have had more faith in Vernon. This was an excellent story, if anything better than the first, dense with personality, world-building, and good writing.
"Razorback" was a little less my speed -- a little too sad -- but also excellent.
I liked the poem "Various Kinds of Wolves" by J.J. Hunter
"Razorback" was a little less my speed -- a little too sad -- but also excellent.
I liked the poem "Various Kinds of Wolves" by J.J. Hunter
April 27, 2017
Ah, a return to the old tales of the Coyote and the Raven, with a special appearance from a couple of dragons, a mule, and an old woman. :)
This is the first story I've ever read by Ms. Vernon, but I'm sure it's not going to be my last. There's a lot of old Soutwestern Tales in her and since I've spent most of my life submerged in that whole world, it kinda felt a bit like I was going home.
Bring on the trains and the mythology, I say, give me a tale of trickery and world-building in the grand old style, and set me back upon my feet to face the world and its constant change.
Nice. :)
And this story is also nominated for the '17 Hugos. Gotta catch up and pick the best of the year!
This is the first story I've ever read by Ms. Vernon, but I'm sure it's not going to be my last. There's a lot of old Soutwestern Tales in her and since I've spent most of my life submerged in that whole world, it kinda felt a bit like I was going home.
Bring on the trains and the mythology, I say, give me a tale of trickery and world-building in the grand old style, and set me back upon my feet to face the world and its constant change.
Nice. :)
And this story is also nominated for the '17 Hugos. Gotta catch up and pick the best of the year!
August 13, 2017
Found this on the Hugo awards list as it is a short story, well, I said why not. Truly it's a nice story a fairytale really that starts with a simple plot and it developes into a grand adventure. I liked the main character as she was quite entertaining and sassy. Plus, the twists were many and therefore kept the internet high throughout the story.
August 13, 2017
Hugo Award winner for Best Novelette 2017.
Mother of God!
Grandma Harken lives close to the desert. She lives with her Tomcat and tends to her garden with absolute care. If you are imagining a nice elderly woman who smells of cookies and sweets, try stealing her tomatoes and see what happens next!
Our Grandma Harken is grumpy and wise, but at the moment she is annoyed because someone is stealing her valuable juicy tomatoes. She is even more furious when she finds out that the thief is a shape-shifter.
At this point, I was gradually starting to imagine this story as an engaging Disney featurette, but then..... then it all changed.
I would have seen it coming if I was familiar with Jackalope Wives, a short story that won Nebula in 2014, which introduces Grandma Harken and her world filled with mythology. This story expands up on the foundation created by Jackalope Wives by weaving a spellbinding mythology filled with multiple dimensions, improbable gods and a fantastic set of characters.
Recommended, especially if you are a fan of Neil Gaiman.
Read it ------> Here
Mother of God!
Grandma Harken lives close to the desert. She lives with her Tomcat and tends to her garden with absolute care. If you are imagining a nice elderly woman who smells of cookies and sweets, try stealing her tomatoes and see what happens next!
Our Grandma Harken is grumpy and wise, but at the moment she is annoyed because someone is stealing her valuable juicy tomatoes. She is even more furious when she finds out that the thief is a shape-shifter.
At this point, I was gradually starting to imagine this story as an engaging Disney featurette, but then..... then it all changed.
I would have seen it coming if I was familiar with Jackalope Wives, a short story that won Nebula in 2014, which introduces Grandma Harken and her world filled with mythology. This story expands up on the foundation created by Jackalope Wives by weaving a spellbinding mythology filled with multiple dimensions, improbable gods and a fantastic set of characters.
Recommended, especially if you are a fan of Neil Gaiman.
Read it ------> Here
February 8, 2023
Review is solely for "The Tomato Thief" by Ursula Vernon.
Wow. I see why it won a Nebula. This one rings true for the country south of the Gila River, where I lived for well over a third of my life. I miss it. The Gila Dragon! That Grandma Harken is quite a gal. Didn't know about the Train Gods. . .
You can read Carol's and Tadiana's reviews, if you want more, and if you use a bit of Google-fu. More importantly, read the story!
https://www.apex-magazine.com/the-tom...
“I’m not dead yet,” said her mother. “And I’ve still got a trick or two left to play.”
This one has echoes of both "Spud and Cochise" and "They Bite". And if you missed either of those, boy are you in for more good reading.
"Spud and Cochise" by Oliver LaFarge (1936): http://www.unz.org/Pub/Forum-1936jan-...
Continued at http://www.unz.org/Pub/Forum-1936jan-... (p. 60)
"They Bite" by Tony Boucher (1943): http://www.unz.org/Pub/Unknown-1943au...
Enjoy!
[Merged review: grr]
Wow. I see why it won a Nebula. This one rings true for the country south of the Gila River, where I lived for well over a third of my life. I miss it. The Gila Dragon! That Grandma Harken is quite a gal. Didn't know about the Train Gods. . .
You can read Carol's and Tadiana's reviews, if you want more, and if you use a bit of Google-fu. More importantly, read the story!
https://www.apex-magazine.com/the-tom...
“I’m not dead yet,” said her mother. “And I’ve still got a trick or two left to play.”
This one has echoes of both "Spud and Cochise" and "They Bite". And if you missed either of those, boy are you in for more good reading.
"Spud and Cochise" by Oliver LaFarge (1936): http://www.unz.org/Pub/Forum-1936jan-...
Continued at http://www.unz.org/Pub/Forum-1936jan-... (p. 60)
"They Bite" by Tony Boucher (1943): http://www.unz.org/Pub/Unknown-1943au...
Enjoy!
[Merged review: grr]
August 21, 2017
I've said it before, and I'll say it again - Grandma Harken is a stone cold badass and if one day I could be even a tenth of the woman she is I'd be utterly content.
This novelette has everything the discerning fantasy reader should need. A feisty old lady who refuses to fall asleep so hard she stabs herself with a ladle, Koschei the deathless, very ripe tomatoes on white bread with a pinch of salt and a dab of mayonnaise, and train gods and their priests. All things that I regularly look for, and finally, here they all are in one short story.
The writing is witty and evocative and playful, the story is tightly spun, and the characters are begging to be read more and more. I must say again, because once is not enough - Grandma Harken is everything I want to be in life and I aspire to be her.
This novelette has everything the discerning fantasy reader should need. A feisty old lady who refuses to fall asleep so hard she stabs herself with a ladle, Koschei the deathless, very ripe tomatoes on white bread with a pinch of salt and a dab of mayonnaise, and train gods and their priests. All things that I regularly look for, and finally, here they all are in one short story.
The writing is witty and evocative and playful, the story is tightly spun, and the characters are begging to be read more and more. I must say again, because once is not enough - Grandma Harken is everything I want to be in life and I aspire to be her.
December 5, 2017
A companion piece to Vernon's 'Jackalope Wives.' (https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...)
This one didn't have quite the emotional impact of that piece, for me, but it's still a welcome return to this magic-infused Southwest.
An elderly witch loves her gardening, and any gardener can relate to her anticipation of the first ripe tomato, fresh off the sunwarmed vine. But something - or someone - steals that first tomato... and the second... and the third. There's nothing to do but to lie in wait. But what she discovers is not quite what she expected. It's a problem that may call on all her power.
Merged review:
**** Razorback—Ursula Vernon
Inspired by the tales of "Rawhead and Bloody Bones" (dating back to the sixteenth century); Vernon gives the folk story her very individual inflection. From a tale of a gory boogeyman, it transforms into a story of a lonely witch whose 'closest friend' becomes the wild hog who roots about in her garden. But affection makes her vulnerable; and this becomes a story of revenge.
I love Vernon's fairy tales, and this is no exception.
This one didn't have quite the emotional impact of that piece, for me, but it's still a welcome return to this magic-infused Southwest.
An elderly witch loves her gardening, and any gardener can relate to her anticipation of the first ripe tomato, fresh off the sunwarmed vine. But something - or someone - steals that first tomato... and the second... and the third. There's nothing to do but to lie in wait. But what she discovers is not quite what she expected. It's a problem that may call on all her power.
Merged review:
**** Razorback—Ursula Vernon
Inspired by the tales of "Rawhead and Bloody Bones" (dating back to the sixteenth century); Vernon gives the folk story her very individual inflection. From a tale of a gory boogeyman, it transforms into a story of a lonely witch whose 'closest friend' becomes the wild hog who roots about in her garden. But affection makes her vulnerable; and this becomes a story of revenge.
I love Vernon's fairy tales, and this is no exception.
December 31, 2016
Grandma Harken, from Vernon's short story Jackalope Wives is trying to find the person wily enough to steal a perfectly ripe tomato from an old woman's garden, navigating train gods and cracks in reality to do so.
Another absolute GEM of a short story from Ursula Vernon, available to read for free at: The Tomato Thief
(If you haven't already read the first story, do read it first at: Jackalope Wives)
Another absolute GEM of a short story from Ursula Vernon, available to read for free at: The Tomato Thief
(If you haven't already read the first story, do read it first at: Jackalope Wives)
January 4, 2017
Read this last year (2016). Didn't realize it had an entry on GR. Great story, free online. Also didn't realize it's part of a series of stories. Which is awesome, there is more to read that was written about these characters in this world! Five stars. Recommended if you like fairy tales from out West (in US).
December 26, 2016
I so LOVED Jackalope Wives. This one gives us a little more info about a lead character in the other story. I loved that extra insight. And the writing is simply musical. Hard to believe how much the author is able to pack into a short story, albeit a longer one. Highly recommended. Both of these.
Karen's review has links to Jackalope Wives, as well as a bunch (a dozen, at least) of other short stories. It truly IS like Christmas. ☃
Karen's review has links to Jackalope Wives, as well as a bunch (a dozen, at least) of other short stories. It truly IS like Christmas. ☃
April 5, 2018
Review solely for The Tomato Thief, by Ursula Vernon:
2017 Hugos nominee for Best Novelette. 4.5 stars, and I might round this rating up or down later, depending on how the other novelettes stack up. But it's absolutely charming and wonderful, great magical worldbuilding in this fantastical desert south, with eerie train-gods and a tough-as-nails old broad who is super reminiscent of Granny Weatherwax, in the best of ways. The tale starts off small enough -- someone is stealing her tomatoes! -- but then the mythology expands and expands, unfolding like a weathered map, or perhaps an iceberg. It has a wry sense of humour and a warm sense of fun, with a touch of fairytale to it as well.
Read it here. I would love a full-length novel set in this world, but I'll settle for picking up the other accompanying short story, Jackalope Wives.
A couple other favourite quotes:
She wrapped herself up in a quilt that night and sat in the rocking chair on the back porch. "We'll see what kind of rat bastard steals an old lady's tomatoes," she grumbled.
(Grandma Harken thought of herself as an old lady, because she was one. That she was tougher than tree roots and barbed wire did not matter. You did not steal an old lady's tomatoes. It was rude, and also, she would destroy you.)
She leaned her shotgun up against the porch railing in easy reach. Probably she wouldn't need it, but there was no telling how low a body would sink once they'd started down the road of tomato theft. Murder was not out of the question.
2017 Hugos nominee for Best Novelette. 4.5 stars, and I might round this rating up or down later, depending on how the other novelettes stack up. But it's absolutely charming and wonderful, great magical worldbuilding in this fantastical desert south, with eerie train-gods and a tough-as-nails old broad who is super reminiscent of Granny Weatherwax, in the best of ways. The tale starts off small enough -- someone is stealing her tomatoes! -- but then the mythology expands and expands, unfolding like a weathered map, or perhaps an iceberg. It has a wry sense of humour and a warm sense of fun, with a touch of fairytale to it as well.
Read it here. I would love a full-length novel set in this world, but I'll settle for picking up the other accompanying short story, Jackalope Wives.
A couple other favourite quotes:
"You could at least get a dog."
"Can't get a dog. It'll offend Spook-cat."
(Spook-cat was a tiny ginger tomcat who lived in perpetual terror of loud noises, sudden movements, and unexpected shadows. He lived under Grandma Harken's bed and would occasionally consent to sleep on her pillow, despite her snoring. He was deeply intimidated by the jackrabbits that lived in the desert, so trips outside to do his business lasted less than two minutes, followed by immediate retreat back under the bed.
He had seen a mouse once and it had frightened him so badly that he had not come out from behind the stove for a week.)
***
The coyote had stopped grinning and was watching her intently.
"Don't suppose you can tell me anything," said Grandma Harken.
"What'll you give me?" replied the coyote.
"I've got sage and cigarettes."
The coyote scratched pensively at one ear. "Let's see the cigarettes."
Grandma Harken took one out and laid it on a stone, then stepped back.
The coyote sniffed at it, unimpressed. "Poor stuff."
"You eat sheep afterbirths," said Grandma.
"Yes, but only the quality ones," said the coyote, and grinned again.
"I should know better than to try and deal with coyotes," muttered Grandma Harken.
"You should." The coyote licked up the cigarette and held it dangling in its mouth. "Look! I'm a human. Do this. Do that. Stand here. Don't eat that." It cackled at its own cleverness.
June 27, 2017
There are quite of few fairy-tale inspired stories in the Hugo nomination list this year and this is one of them. I liked it but the third act was a bit too rushed. Loved that sassy coyote though.
November 7, 2020
**I have read two short fictions in this volume, Razorback, and The Tomato Thief, both by Ursula Vernon. My review is for these two only.**
I read The Tomato Thief about three years ago after reading two awesome stories from Vernon, the exquisite The Jackalope Wives and the gritty Razorback, but never reviewed it and found that it had faded from my memory in comparison to the other two. I thought that my little shortie November project would be a great time to revisit this story that I know I enjoyed but needed to remember.
And it is a great story. It features Grandma Harken from >i>Jackalope Wives and gives us a little bit of her history as well as some her fantastic banter and cranky old lady wisdom which was something that made Jackalope so special.
Ursula Vernon is fantastic at world-building and weaving desert folklore into more modern day fantasy involving parallel worlds, shapeshifters, and just a little magic. Grandma Harken is a very memorable character (Vernon really has a knack for writing old crotchety witchy ladies) and I enjoyed her humor and cynicism very much.
Well, no matter. Things would sort themselves out. She’d know what she had to know when she needed it.
“Or I’ll get caught with my pants around my ankles,” she said to the mule’s ears, “and I’ll die with a stupid expression on my face. I suppose that counts as getting sorted out, though.”
The mule flicked her ears, but did not comment.
Grandma Harken is at home, tending to her precious tomato plants, wishing everyone would just leave her be and let her rest, when her ripe tomatoes start to go missing. Bound and determined to catch the tomato thief, Grandma stays up all night, but what she finds is rather complicated indeed and leads her on a journey to fix a wrong. She doesn’t exactly know how to do this or where exactly she’s going, but if you know Grandma, you know she cannot stay uninvolved where there is a wrong that needs righting. And she has her tomatoes to defend after all.
The perfect blend of grit lit and fantasy. 4.5 stars.
Read it for free here: https://apex-magazine.com/the-tomato-...
* Day two of my November 2020 challenge to read one sci fi or fantasy short story a day*
MERGED REVIEW
I have become quite a fan of Ursula Vernon. I enjoy very much the way she writes her short stories, weaving a bit of Native American folklore with magical elements amidst a backdrop of hot desert air, abandoned cacti, and old women with heads full of mystic knowledge and experience.
In "Razorback," Vernon adds her own unique flavor to the old European folktale "Rawhead and Bloody Bones" which has since become a bit of an American ghost story. This story takes place in the Ozarks which are so rich with cultural history and their own folklore that they can easily become characters in these stories themselves. It is about a witch named Sal, whom everyone knows as a witch, but who generally is the "best of the lot" in those parts. She has her own standards and ethics and morals by which she practices her craft, and though she lives alone and can be considered a bit crotchety, values life and human beings and nature and the order of all things.
Sal's only friend is a wild razorback hog she dubs "Rawhead," in a bit of black humor regarding the making of head cheese. Rawhead just showed up on Sal's porch one day, sniffing around her pile of scraps, and though she tried to get rid of him, the old razorback stayed, and became quite a fixture at Sal's property and Sal's greatest friend. I also enjoyed the bits of humor strewn throughout this story. Though it is a story of an old witch and her magic, Vernon makes very sure that the story doesn't take itself too seriously, and its part of what makes the story so readable, and the characters so endearing.
Another character who liked to show up on Sal's property was the old hunter named Silas, a bit of an opportunist, and someone both Sal and Rawhead distrust.
One day, Rawhead doesn't come home. And when he doesn't come home for two more, Sal becomes worried. Being a witch, she conjures up a bunch of magic, and what she finds leads her on a journey of vengeance and loyalty. And I ate it up.
Sal and Rawhead have a really beautiful relationship and it was my favorite part of the story. The meat of it is not magic or revenge but the meaning of friendship, the depths of loyalty that people will go through for their deepest companions, whether that companion is another human, or, in this case, a razorback hog.
4 stars.
Read this lovely story for FREE here:
http://www.apex-magazine.com/razorback/
I read The Tomato Thief about three years ago after reading two awesome stories from Vernon, the exquisite The Jackalope Wives and the gritty Razorback, but never reviewed it and found that it had faded from my memory in comparison to the other two. I thought that my little shortie November project would be a great time to revisit this story that I know I enjoyed but needed to remember.
And it is a great story. It features Grandma Harken from >i>Jackalope Wives and gives us a little bit of her history as well as some her fantastic banter and cranky old lady wisdom which was something that made Jackalope so special.
Ursula Vernon is fantastic at world-building and weaving desert folklore into more modern day fantasy involving parallel worlds, shapeshifters, and just a little magic. Grandma Harken is a very memorable character (Vernon really has a knack for writing old crotchety witchy ladies) and I enjoyed her humor and cynicism very much.
Well, no matter. Things would sort themselves out. She’d know what she had to know when she needed it.
“Or I’ll get caught with my pants around my ankles,” she said to the mule’s ears, “and I’ll die with a stupid expression on my face. I suppose that counts as getting sorted out, though.”
The mule flicked her ears, but did not comment.
Grandma Harken is at home, tending to her precious tomato plants, wishing everyone would just leave her be and let her rest, when her ripe tomatoes start to go missing. Bound and determined to catch the tomato thief, Grandma stays up all night, but what she finds is rather complicated indeed and leads her on a journey to fix a wrong. She doesn’t exactly know how to do this or where exactly she’s going, but if you know Grandma, you know she cannot stay uninvolved where there is a wrong that needs righting. And she has her tomatoes to defend after all.
Sometimes the best cure for life was a ripe tomato.
The perfect blend of grit lit and fantasy. 4.5 stars.
Read it for free here: https://apex-magazine.com/the-tomato-...
* Day two of my November 2020 challenge to read one sci fi or fantasy short story a day*
MERGED REVIEW
I have become quite a fan of Ursula Vernon. I enjoy very much the way she writes her short stories, weaving a bit of Native American folklore with magical elements amidst a backdrop of hot desert air, abandoned cacti, and old women with heads full of mystic knowledge and experience.
In "Razorback," Vernon adds her own unique flavor to the old European folktale "Rawhead and Bloody Bones" which has since become a bit of an American ghost story. This story takes place in the Ozarks which are so rich with cultural history and their own folklore that they can easily become characters in these stories themselves. It is about a witch named Sal, whom everyone knows as a witch, but who generally is the "best of the lot" in those parts. She has her own standards and ethics and morals by which she practices her craft, and though she lives alone and can be considered a bit crotchety, values life and human beings and nature and the order of all things.
Sal, though … Sal was good. She never promised what she couldn’t deliver, and she wouldn’t ill-wish somebody just on a customer’s say-so. She wouldn’t brew up a love potion, but she’d cook up a charm to make a girl look a bit better or to give a bit of fire back to a man who was down to the last of the coals, if you understand what I’m saying.
Sal's only friend is a wild razorback hog she dubs "Rawhead," in a bit of black humor regarding the making of head cheese. Rawhead just showed up on Sal's porch one day, sniffing around her pile of scraps, and though she tried to get rid of him, the old razorback stayed, and became quite a fixture at Sal's property and Sal's greatest friend. I also enjoyed the bits of humor strewn throughout this story. Though it is a story of an old witch and her magic, Vernon makes very sure that the story doesn't take itself too seriously, and its part of what makes the story so readable, and the characters so endearing.
Rawhead turned up one day in the garden and started rooting around in her compost heap. He had a taste for magic and there was plenty of it there, alongside the eggshells and the wishing melon rinds. (I never met a witch worth her salt who didn’t love her garden more than any mortal soul.)
Another character who liked to show up on Sal's property was the old hunter named Silas, a bit of an opportunist, and someone both Sal and Rawhead distrust.
Now, the way I always heard it, Silas the hunter had been one of those men who came sniffing around Sal when she was living alone, and it was Rawhead who broke him of that habit. But I’ve also heard that he was one of those folk who come up and try to give you charity you don’t want. There was a lot of that going on up there, and nobody gets mad like a do-gooder if you won’t hold still and let ’em do good on you.
One day, Rawhead doesn't come home. And when he doesn't come home for two more, Sal becomes worried. Being a witch, she conjures up a bunch of magic, and what she finds leads her on a journey of vengeance and loyalty. And I ate it up.
Sal and Rawhead have a really beautiful relationship and it was my favorite part of the story. The meat of it is not magic or revenge but the meaning of friendship, the depths of loyalty that people will go through for their deepest companions, whether that companion is another human, or, in this case, a razorback hog.
4 stars.
Read this lovely story for FREE here:
http://www.apex-magazine.com/razorback/
May 27, 2017
“When someone in the desert asks for water, you give it to them. There weren’t many rules in the desert, but that was one of them.”
Good use of Arizona native and desert history and lore to add depth to this short story, a 2017 Hugo finalist for novelettes (whatever they are.) Another story with a mature--very mature--female protagonist. There must be a special on them this year.
“There’d been a time, when she was young and immortal, when [redacted] she could have danced in the track that they left in the sand. She felt old and mortal now.”
Excellent slow slide from the mundane into the supernatural.
“‘I ain’t dying yet,’ and that may or may not have been a lie. She wasn’t quite sure.”
Good use of Arizona native and desert history and lore to add depth to this short story, a 2017 Hugo finalist for novelettes (whatever they are.) Another story with a mature--very mature--female protagonist. There must be a special on them this year.
“There’d been a time, when she was young and immortal, when [redacted] she could have danced in the track that they left in the sand. She felt old and mortal now.”
Excellent slow slide from the mundane into the supernatural.
“‘I ain’t dying yet,’ and that may or may not have been a lie. She wasn’t quite sure.”
July 13, 2017
What a treat. It's rare that I feel the atmosphere, the mood, the vibe of a story as keenly as here. The desert, cacti and water. I loved the voice, the characters and the world, and particularly the confrontation, which evoked the familiar folklore tales of my childhood. I see there was a reason to keep this tab open all these months.
January 9, 2016
A short story you can read here:
http://www.apex-magazine.com/the-toma...
Grandma Harken is old but she isn’t stupid and she’s pretty darn annoyed when something steals her tomatoes. Tomatoes are hard to grow in the desert; they need to be staked, watered and nursed to ripen. She guards hers jealously.
Exactly… but she discovers it is a mockingbird shifter that is stealing them, and not for herself. It’s a long time since Grandma has done much more than keep her own nose clean, but she wants to help this girl who is clearly bound in a magic way. She has a tongue bolt of silver and she can’t say, or is literally unable to say, who sent her. All she can manage is that he likes tomatoes. He.
Grandma sets off to follow the flight of the girl home but reaches a point where the train tracks fold between worlds.
***
This is a magic world where the power of trains, and the entrenched belief of the people who rely on them, has made them into gods. They are capricious gods who chose to deliver the mail because messages matter but can be erratic about when the trains run, where their tracks go and what they choose to go around. A grandson is the train god priest and she asks him if there is a place where the trains don’t go. He tells her there is a bend in the track; trains don’t like sharp bends. Theirs is a world of gentle curves and inclines.
I read a joke tweet recently that prophecies were wasted on the young, with their lack of knowledge of the world and their busy schedules. It suggested they’d be better off given to grandmas. And lo, then I read this story. *grins*
It make sense that the magic world attracts lost magic beings. The bad guy is a long way from home. The power of three, as always. And an enterprising coyote.
I had to look up what a cholla was; it’s a kind of cactus with a woody latticed structure. Bones made of it would be super fragile.
That girl is going to need Grandma Harken but I reckon she’ll be around for a while longer yet.
http://www.apex-magazine.com/the-toma...
Grandma Harken is old but she isn’t stupid and she’s pretty darn annoyed when something steals her tomatoes. Tomatoes are hard to grow in the desert; they need to be staked, watered and nursed to ripen. She guards hers jealously.
The same people in town who muttered about black magic swore that she was using unholy powers on her tomatoes. This was a little more plausible than general black magic, because obviously if you had unholy powers, you’d want to use them on your tomatoes.
Exactly… but she discovers it is a mockingbird shifter that is stealing them, and not for herself. It’s a long time since Grandma has done much more than keep her own nose clean, but she wants to help this girl who is clearly bound in a magic way. She has a tongue bolt of silver and she can’t say, or is literally unable to say, who sent her. All she can manage is that he likes tomatoes. He.
Grandma sets off to follow the flight of the girl home but reaches a point where the train tracks fold between worlds.
The trains run in three worlds. We will not speak of the fourth.
***
This is a magic world where the power of trains, and the entrenched belief of the people who rely on them, has made them into gods. They are capricious gods who chose to deliver the mail because messages matter but can be erratic about when the trains run, where their tracks go and what they choose to go around. A grandson is the train god priest and she asks him if there is a place where the trains don’t go. He tells her there is a bend in the track; trains don’t like sharp bends. Theirs is a world of gentle curves and inclines.
I read a joke tweet recently that prophecies were wasted on the young, with their lack of knowledge of the world and their busy schedules. It suggested they’d be better off given to grandmas. And lo, then I read this story. *grins*
It make sense that the magic world attracts lost magic beings. The bad guy is a long way from home. The power of three, as always. And an enterprising coyote.
I had to look up what a cholla was; it’s a kind of cactus with a woody latticed structure. Bones made of it would be super fragile.
That girl is going to need Grandma Harken but I reckon she’ll be around for a while longer yet.
January 6, 2017
******
Free to read on the Web: The Tomato Thief
This is another delightful romp through the desert pantheon of the Jackalope Wives.
Ursula Vernon has a very minimum familiarity with the spirit worlds of the Southwestern US landscapes; but that is sufficient to give her own imaginary theology a real life. And what a treat wandering through her living, fascinating world is!
I certainly hope that there are additional visits planned.
Free to read on the Web: The Tomato Thief
This is another delightful romp through the desert pantheon of the Jackalope Wives.
Ursula Vernon has a very minimum familiarity with the spirit worlds of the Southwestern US landscapes; but that is sufficient to give her own imaginary theology a real life. And what a treat wandering through her living, fascinating world is!
I certainly hope that there are additional visits planned.
November 27, 2018
Me había imaginado muchas cosas de esta novela corta, pero casi ninguna de las que he encontrado. Está la abuela Harken, con sus tomates y su gato. Pero también un mundo que se dobla, cambiaformas y unos dioses que no son los que esperábamos. Es increíble lo que se puede contar en tan poco espacio, y el mundo que se puede llegar a dibujar en tan pocas páginas. Que nadie se pierda la historia de estos tomates.
February 23, 2017
This was a fun read, but not as good as its Nebula-winning prequel Jackalope Wives (which was really good). I loved the delightfully grumpy Grandma Harken and her delicious-sounding tomatoes, but the extended world felt a bit scattershot and not as well-connected as I'd like. Still Vernon is an excellent writer and the homespun southwesterly voice she employs here is wonderfully done. Well worth reading.
http://www.apex-magazine.com/the-toma...
http://www.apex-magazine.com/the-toma...
August 4, 2017
SO GOOD. A THOUSAND GRANDMA HARKEN BOOKS ARE REQUIRED. THIS MADE ME FEEL FONDLY ABOUT THE DESERT, WHICH IS NOT A THING THAT HAPPENS.
Ugh such a good Coyote also. And a god of trains! And tactical use of uncomfortable furniture! Gilla monster!
Ugh such a good Coyote also. And a god of trains! And tactical use of uncomfortable furniture! Gilla monster!
June 17, 2017
My first encounter with Ursula Vernon's fiction and it's so funny and complete - Vernon weaves new tales in image and likeness of known ones, creating a delightful sense of wonder.
Read
March 29, 2024annie neugebauer's "churn the unchurning tide" was my favorite in the uneven
other terrors
, so I wanted to read more from her; I'm using this as a convenient place to mark having read her various apex offerings: "maxwell's demon" from this issue as well as "naked", "so sings the siren", and "if those ragged feet won't run" from others.
I didn't think much of the poetry ("naked" is the better of the two), but "so sings the siren" was solid, and "if those ragged feet won't run" was best of all. coincidentally, that order goes chronologically as well as shortest to longest, so I'm going to keep holding out hope that neugebauer will put out a novel eventually.
I didn't think much of the poetry ("naked" is the better of the two), but "so sings the siren" was solid, and "if those ragged feet won't run" was best of all. coincidentally, that order goes chronologically as well as shortest to longest, so I'm going to keep holding out hope that neugebauer will put out a novel eventually.
February 12, 2017
"You did not steal an old lady’s tomatoes. It was rude, and also, she would destroy you."
That was the line, a few paragraphs in, that made me fall in love with this story. Reminiscent of Terri Windling's The Wood Wife, this short story left me with the scent of sage and hot tomato plants and the sense that the world is deeper than what we think of it.
Highly recommended.
That was the line, a few paragraphs in, that made me fall in love with this story. Reminiscent of Terri Windling's The Wood Wife, this short story left me with the scent of sage and hot tomato plants and the sense that the world is deeper than what we think of it.
Highly recommended.
April 11, 2023
3.5- 4 stars
What a very charming story, it's about a grandma trying to find the person who stealing her tomatoes and it all unravels from there. I completely understand why it won the Hugo. If your looking for something short definitely check it out and its free to read on the apex magazine website, which is always good.
What a very charming story, it's about a grandma trying to find the person who stealing her tomatoes and it all unravels from there. I completely understand why it won the Hugo. If your looking for something short definitely check it out and its free to read on the apex magazine website, which is always good.
September 13, 2017
Very creative story of an older woman who lives alone on the outskirts of an Arizona town. The time frame is probably in the 1800s when the railroad was a major transportation source in the US.
The story begins as the woman discovers that her prized tomatoes are being taken one by one the night before she plans to pick and eat them. She finds out who it is which leads her to a bigger mystery.
The story has a folk tale/fairy tale feel to it. There are part-human creatures and a pretty original mystery that completely changes your first impression of the lonely old lady.
The story begins as the woman discovers that her prized tomatoes are being taken one by one the night before she plans to pick and eat them. She finds out who it is which leads her to a bigger mystery.
The story has a folk tale/fairy tale feel to it. There are part-human creatures and a pretty original mystery that completely changes your first impression of the lonely old lady.
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