Prostitute Laundry

by Charlotte Shane

In the winter of 2014, writer and sex worker Charlotte Shane sent out her confessional letter to a small but devoted mailing list. In the months that followed, readership grew to over 4,500 subscribers who followed her candid, unstinting, sometimes heartbreaking meditations. Word spread quickly, garnering the project recognition from outlets such as The Washington Post and NPR.

This intimate investigation is one young woman’s best attempt at understanding her own rich, conflicted life, and the forces that act upon it. The collection is a thoughtful serial memoir about love, sex, money, and identity—how those forces can break us, and how they can make us whole again.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Sex Work, Sexuality, Essays, Biography, Feminism

385 pages, Paperback

Published January 1, 2015

Reviews

[Roman Clodia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Shane is just so smart in this book as she contemplates love, sex, agency, dependency, pleasure, desire, commitment, fun, money, friendship, independence, body image - the only difference between her and many other women is that she's a sex-worker, an escort, with many regular men on her books. Nevertheless, she has a steady boyfriend, falls in love probably twice, and ends up thinking about giving up her lucrative job not because her lover forces her to but because she doesn't want to see his hurt when she leaves for a job. It is her decision, if a decision has been definitively made by the end, not his.

The keynote here is Shane's honesty - this is no holds barred as a memoir, originally published as a series of newsletters to subscribers. The sex is raw but that's not really the point in that it's not titillating, merely recounting the role it plays in either work or her love life.

Almost as important is Shane's desire to be a writer and here her voice is strong, full of personality, but also vulnerable as she shares those moments of weakness, loneliness, confusion, lack of assuredness. This is a book written by a clever woman (she mentions grad school but no further details) who is also a kind of every-woman - just one who has no shame about her sexuality or her profession and can talk about both in a meaningful, natural and open way.

[emma · Rating 1 out of 5]

Reading this book felt like being strapped to a chair while someone plays you a propaganda film about their own life.

[Antonia Crane · Rating 4 out of 5]

Charlotte Shane's epistolary memoir about her internal journey as a high paid escort made me curious about the fact I never got to be a boy crazy sex worker. Touch and access to my skin was an annoying necessity on the way to financial freedom, but Charlotte Shane seeks intimacy, sexual attention, kindness and genuine tenderness from—even crushes out on—men who are her clients. Charlotte Shane's writing is as stark and prickly as it is lovely, honest and brutally beautiful. Her writing, unlike her sex work and non-paid sex life, is a place where she can loses herself entirely and be full. Some letters are her own private Stratosphere (the highest roller coaster at 1.091 feet in the air) as she tosses herself out to callous men only to find herself caught in the arms of another, less desirable one with her legs dangling as she recovers from a particularly manipulative client. But her entanglements are only scaffolding for the tone of this important, insightful work because in her letters to her readers, to herself, to everyone, to no one she is free, ever expansive, relentless and full of heart. Her ability to describe the emotional complexity of sex work, her love/hate relationships with clients and her journey to embody her own sexuality was handled with such poise, grace and juicy carnal details that it is impossible to put down. But you don't get a wet pussy reference for wet pussy's sake—ever. Along with it is an anal rape by a massage client who did not tip extra. You get a regretful silent scream and paid sex more akin to smashing your palm on a tac than humping.
And yet, "Prostitute Laundry" never is apologetic, coarse or sanctimonious. I would love to Charlotte Shane directly that this is the best sex work memoir I have read since David Henry Sterry's "Chicken," but I have no idea if she is Charlotte Shane, Sara, Laura or who? (And as curious as I am about that decision to not reveal her name aside, I respect her decision to hide). And so I am telling you all here. This book is gorgeous, smart and deserves much acclaim.

[Liz · Rating 2 out of 5]

Hmm, this was interesting but ultimately I wouldn't recommend. There were some parts (especially in the middle) that were beautifully written -- passages that really hit you in the gut. But there were lots of other parts where basically, our narrator is describing texts and e-mails back and forth with her various lovers/sex work customers. My eyes glazed over just typing that out.

I mean, I understand how this book wanted to make an argument for how if you CHOOSE to go into sex work, it's a FEMINIST CHOICE and by god NO ONE SHOULD JUDGE YOU but.... I would have at least appreciated a chapter explaining why the narrator got into sex work in the first place? I was dying to find out and I never did. (I know, it's basic of me to want the narrator to tell that part of the story, but I can't lie and say I didn't wish it was explained more).

I think that's partly because there's a real contrarian streak in this book; I could definitely feel it trying to RESIST the typical "I'm-a-sex-worker-here's-my-wild-confessions" angle. But weirdly enough, we get this really conventional ending in which the narrator decides she's tired of sex work and she settles down with one guy. And boy oh boy does she LOVE him. Reading scores of pages about how much they LOVE each other is precisely as interesting as it sounds.

Basically, I liked the mumblecore-y aspects of this book but I think if she had reworked some of these e-mail "newsletters" into more polished essays, she would have had a real keeper. But as it is, there are lots of boring bits.

[Irene · Rating 4 out of 5]

A modern day Anaïs Nin opens her heart and dumps it out on the floor in front of us. Intimate reflections on infatuation, love, sex and sex work, and their fallout in a young woman’s day to day life. Charlotte Shane is on an endless emotional roller coaster and this collection of chronological, diaristic personal essays takes us along with her.

At times, the narrator is unlikeable, exhausting and neurotic, self-obsessed and navel-gazing -- and she’s also intensely relatable and sympathetic. Her raw and unflinching observations and admissions about the feeling of being in the eye of the storm that is being in love, or in lust, or both, are both witty and poetic. I didn’t agree with many of her choices, which made them frustrating to follow at times, and I’m not sure whether she and I would get along in real life, but who cares? As a modern woman navigating the rocky waters of loving men with varying degrees of success and fulfillment, I found much to relate to in these pages. Whether or not sex work interests you doesn’t really matter. If you’re interested in spending a few days trying on the emotional life of a keenly intelligent human female who feels everything to 11, pick this one up.

[Morgan M. Page · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love, sex, and compulsion - what more could you want?

[s · Rating 5 out of 5]

ok as much as i loved NB this is the one that rly hit me in the gut. i feel like whatever people get from writers like joan didion (no shade) i got from this ... it untied a lot of knots in my thinking and offered ways to think abt myself that i'd never and would never have come up with on my own. kind of shocked that something as unsparing and psychologically thorough as the nascent love story that comprises the last quarter of this book (which made me cry countless times w its perfect little pearled sentences, and was honestly so enrapturing i found it difficult to finish) was published on tinyletter. i guess these microblogging platforms had a lil moment in the sun before the freaks turned them into a grift

[Shannon B. · Rating 1 out of 5]

Charlotte Shane can deftly dissect a social situation with her soft and resolute author's voice. This book, however, is not representative of her enormous talent.

This book features an addict, light years from any admission that a problem exists, living the emotion-vomit-coaster of [sex] addiction. Addicts are narcissists and they bore.

There's no insight here. This is not Nightmare Brunette style prose. Do read her other writing on anything: eating disorders or feminism or caring or not caring. Her other work is exquisite.

[Natalie S. · Rating 5 out of 5]

I started reading Charlotte Shane's newsletter in August 2014, so I had read about half of these essays before. But reading them consecutively, start to finish, was revelatory. Prostitute Laundry changed the way I think and feel about intimacy and sex and love; I snapped photos of and revisited so many passages that I almost want them tattooed on my body. "I was sorry to be hurting the people closest to me but those months were like shattering a glass bottle to get to something exquisite held inside." "But I still felt like my love for him had been in me like a vein of gold ore.... Sometimes I wondered if all the pain of the past years was me seeing the light glint off it but not knowing how to touch it." Maybe it was so affecting because some of the letters spoke to almost the exact circumstances of my life right now, but I also don't think there will be a time in my life when I can't find some flashes of insight about interpersonal relationships in this book. So I plan to re-read it a million times, and I'm trying to talk myself out of starting tonight.

[Dante · Rating 3 out of 5]

This took me quite a while to get through, and even longer to process which, to be quite honest, I have not done yet, and will need many more reads to do.

[LeaVixx · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have mixed feelings about the book. I think it's rarely about sex work, more about all the other relationships she's had outside of work. Which let's be honest - weren't that interesting and pretty much unhealthy and annoying to read about. I think if she rather focused more on her work life it would have been a lot more entertaining. Only her very last relationship in the book I enjoyed reading about, but then the book suddenly ended without giving us any details on what actually happened, so that was just disappointing. Probably wouldn't recommend it if you're looking to read about sex work.

[Jay Gabler · Rating 2 out of 5]

Compelling subject matter and well-written, but I think it could have been more tightly edited — what works for a chronological series of Tiny Letters doesn't necessarily work for a book you read from beginning to end. By the time the story thread that proved to be climactic began, I was already losing track of the author's various relationships and it was hard for me to invest in a new one.

[Emily C · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is the most graphic shit I’ve ever read and I was on fanfiction dot net in like, 2010 lmao

In all seriousness, really don’t know if this is future Gender Studies 101 fodder, or if this never should have been published.

Parts of this were fun, and felt like listening to your bestie breathlessly chatter about the newest guy in her life. Other parts felt like listening to your bestie obsessively rant about an ex…for the 18th time this week.

Pretty sure the author is a sex and love addict, but that’s never really mentioned soooo……

Initially a 4 but downgraded to a 3 as I let the aftershocks of this book sink in.

[Canem · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some parts of this book were eye-opening and made me think about relationships, men and women, sex, and sex work in a different way. Quite interesting to learn about an escort's professional and private life.

But the structure of the book, and the unnecessary length made this a rather disappointing read.

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

i’ve enjoyed Charlotte Shane since i saw her speak at an event in 2016 and i can’t believe it took me this long to read her book! i loved it. her voice is clear and blunt, emotional and raw without being saccharine.

[Naomi Mckeown · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really loved Shane's way of thinking about love and sex and life. The way she writes about falling in love, and unrequited love in particular really changed the perspective in which I consider my feelings.

[Eirwen Abberley · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a really interesting, albeit sometimes rambling and repetitive, and thoughtful collection of diary entries to listen to - it felt very sex and sex work positive and raised important questions about sex work, consent, and sex and love in general

[Shaoroun · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.75

Took a long time to read due to personal matters. There were bits that were interesting for me (apart from the sex) but also i thought this was going to be a very different biography.

[Leora Taratula-Lyons · Rating 3 out of 5]

A book that got progressively better. The first 100 pages were tough with the collection of blogs feeling random and shocking but a flow and linear narrative develops that becomes intruiging if not captivating.

[Fatma · Rating 1 out of 5]

Honestly kind of boring. It was very repetitive. Few good lines and realizations in there. But I was bored throughout.

[Merritt K.]

Shane is an incredible writer and has a real skill for discussing topics like intimacy, money, and sex in ways that dodge the tropes surrounding them. The first two thirds of the book were especially captivating.

Things started to drag a little for me in the final third, when the focus shifts to Shane's relationship with a particular man. Probably this is a consequence of the format -- reading the letters as they were originally sent, rather than one after another, probably wouldn't have produced the same sense of repetition that the book format does.

That said, the work as a whole is a tremendous work of memoir that explores sex and work in a careful, unique way.

[Kevin · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's a good book and worth reading.

Charlotte Shane does not air dirty laundry here—she discusses her compulsions and fantasies and pains, often with poignancy and almost always with clean prose. I most enjoyed reading, near the middle of the book, as she fell in love with a man and shared why being with him felt so special to her. Towards the end, her storytelling felt a bit less coherent and a bit more like she had been asking herself, "How do I end this poetically, and how do I make my stereotypical ending not look or feel as such?" And it does! And doesn't. But it seemed a bit less frank than the earlier chapters.

[Lynette · Rating 5 out of 5]

So glad this book is having another printing so I can finally get my own copy and stop holding my friend's one hostage after "borrowing" it a year ago. It's hard to let go of. I bookmarked more passages in Prostitute Laundry than I have in any other book I've ever read.
It's insane to me that it has less than 5 stars on here. All the negative reviews are complaining about how much sex there is in it, or how much she writes about herself. Like, did you even read the title of the book?? Do you KNOW what "memoir" means? Irredeemable nerds. Don't listen to them.
Listen to me: Read this book. It will enrich your life and get you laid and make you want to fall in love, in that order.

[Jess · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can't remember the last time a book affected me this much. Maybe never. It took me a while to read because I kept having to stop and absorb after each email/chapter--sometimes in the middle of one. Charlotte Shane is an incredible writer and so honest in her self-reflection, it almost makes you feel like a liar by comparison. This book was so thought-provoking and beautiful that I actually read with a pencil for the first time. I might go back and read it again. It's pretty graphic, so I'd skip it if that bothers you, but if not, oh my god I want to hand a copy to everyone.

[S.M. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Three and a have stars--I keep going back and forth between three and four. Some of the writing is genuinely incredible in its beauty. The structure is a little weak, though, and I couldn't help but wonder just how self-aware Shane was of all the little foibles she shared. Some of it was obviously intentional, but some seemed more subtle than literally anything else in the book.

It was very interesting, though, and as I said, the writing is generally quite good. I do recommend it.

[Paul Pawlik · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was brilliant, not at all the kind of purely sordid tale I was expecting. Though it can scarcely count as a spoiler to say there is a lot of raunchiness throughout, the main appeal for me was the quite simply fantastic writing, and the frank voice of the author who claims to neither embellish or tone down any of her experiences. It is a properly heartrending memoir, and I couldn't help but be blown away.

[Throp5 · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book alternatingly fascinating and frustrating, which I think is really a testament to Shane's honesty -- she doesn't sugarcoat anything to make herself appear better. The observations she comes to in between trysts about herself, others, sex and love, are genuinely interesting. Well worth a read.

[Ana Medeiros · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it. Honest and thoughtful. A well written book. Some passages will stay with you.

[Rachael · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 Stars
Title: An Insightful Glimpse into Unconventional Relationships

I recently finished listening to the audiobook "Prostitute Laundry" by Charlotte Shane and I must say, it was quite an interesting experience. The introduction by Katherine Angel initially set my expectations high, hinting at a feminist memoir delving into the intricate connections between women, sexuality, and prostitution. However, the book took a different path.

Rather than a straightforward feminist exploration, "Prostitute Laundry" felt more like a series of intimate journal entries. The author, Charlotte Shane, takes us on a journey through her life and relationships, sharing fragments of her experiences in a letter-like format. The narrative revolves around three main relationships, each providing a distinct perspective on love, sex, and intimacy.

Charlotte's long-term relationship with her boyfriend, whom she met while working as an erotic masseuse, unfolds as a unique arrangement that challenges conventional norms. Their open view on monogamy allows them to explore their desires beyond the boundaries of traditional commitment. The introduction of George, an unconventional love interest, adds complexity to Charlotte's dynamic, leading to a delicate balance of emotions and relationships.

The core of the narrative, however, revolves around her profound connection with Max, whom she considers the love of her life. The complexities of Max's struggle to accept Charlotte's past as an escort and her persistent desire to return to that lifestyle form a significant part of the book's emotional landscape.

Charlotte's writing is undeniably beautiful and eloquent. Her command over words shines through, and her ability to convey emotions and experiences is commendable. I found her reflections on monogamy and rediscovering her own desires thought-provoking. While I personally couldn't relate to all of her choices, I appreciated her honesty and willingness to share her unconventional experiences.

Throughout the book, I couldn't help but feel conflicted about Charlotte's expectations of Max. Her desire for him to understand and accept her past seemed self-serving, especially considering the discomfort it caused him. While I admired her openness, I found it challenging to fully empathize with her perspective in this regard.

"Prostitute Laundry" wasn't quite what I anticipated from an escort memoir. I expected more tales from her encounters with clients, but instead, it delved into her personal growth, sexual exploration, and unconventional relationships. Despite this, I found it to be a worthwhile read, though it did take me some time to get through. The narrator's performance was engaging, capturing the essence of Charlotte's letters, even if some of the voice choices were a bit peculiar.

In closing, "Prostitute Laundry" offers a glimpse into a world that challenges societal norms surrounding relationships and intimacy. Charlotte Shane's candid storytelling and eloquent prose make it an intriguing read for those open to exploring unconventional narratives. Special thanks to NetGalley, the author, and the publisher for providing me with an audiobook copy in exchange for my honest thoughts and opinions.

[Prooost Davis · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read an excellent essay on abortion by Charlotte Shane. When I found out she's a sex worker who has turned her newsletter into this book, I was intrigued.

When I was young, not quite a man, I noticed that males always seemed to want sex, but that females didn't seem to want it so much. Or so it seemed to me back then. I figured that a woman with a large sexual appetite need never go hungry. Charlotte Shane's life is one example of how such a life would play out. She's a very successful escort. She has a boyfriend. And to keep things fresh, she finds men on Craigslist and Tinder to have sex with for free.

As presented in the book Shane's life is constantly busy, but only with sex, writing about sex (and her emotional life), and getting together socially with fellow sex workers. There seems to be nothing else. Now, I'm fond of sex, but I don't think I could love it quite this much. (Of course, I'm old now, so maybe I just don't remember how important it seemed to a young man.)

One of Shane's problems is that she occasionally falls in love, but isn't sure the man can be trusted. That would seem to be a hazard one would run into when choosing one's lovers from Craigslist, something she doesn't address in the book. Has it occurred to her? I don't know.

Prostitute Laundry has its titillating passages, but they aren't dwelt on long enough to make them pornographic.

The book is in its third edition, and I'm guessing that it gets added to as the newsletter goes on. She's at a crossroads in her life, in which she thinks she's found a soulmate (and when she's in love, she's about as mushy as any middle schooler). The question we're left with is whether the relationship can survive the very heavy baggage of her life up to this point.