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You Can't Text a Tough Conversation: #RealCommunicationNeeded
When it comes to the tough stuff, we need real, face-to-face conversations. But have we lost the art?
There's no denying that as our use of technology has increased, our communication skills have decreased. Technology creates the illusion of being in touch, but we lose the deeper meaning conveyed by body language, facial expression, and tone of voice. We text when we should talk. We tweet firings and breakups. We vent our frustrations with other people online. Whether it's with a spouse, a friend, a boss, a co-worker, or children, those tough conversations create high anxiety. In the end, what we have are broken relationships and hurt feelings.
In this timely book, communication expert Mike Bechtle shows you how to build strong relationships, offering tried-and-true methods to navigate the muddy waters of having tough conversations--in person. With his help, you'll learn to be a better listener, give and receive genuine feedback, saturate your relationships with kindness, and much more--so that you'll feel confident when it comes time to actually talk.
"What a fantastic book! Mike Bechtle is not only entertaining and compelling but his advice is rock solid and practical. Anyone who is serious about having healthy relationships--at work or on the home front--will love this book. Don't miss out on Mike's message."--Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott, authors of Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts
"Mike Bechtle skillfully guides us to good communication skills. He points out that when we're under stress without the proper tools we usually default to toxic patterns learned in childhood--yelling, whining, or clamming up! Our body language, as well as our spoken words, can effectively calm our tough conversations or ignite a raging war. Being an effective communicator can be learned by using his easily applicable counsel. His book is full of wisdom."--Elizabeth B. Brown, author of Living Successfully with Screwed-Up People
Mike Bechtle (EdD, Arizona State University) is the author of People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys and How to Communicate with Confidence. His articles have appeared in publications such as Writer's Digest, Pastors.com, and Entrepreneur. A frequent speaker and blogger, Bechtle lives in California.
There's no denying that as our use of technology has increased, our communication skills have decreased. Technology creates the illusion of being in touch, but we lose the deeper meaning conveyed by body language, facial expression, and tone of voice. We text when we should talk. We tweet firings and breakups. We vent our frustrations with other people online. Whether it's with a spouse, a friend, a boss, a co-worker, or children, those tough conversations create high anxiety. In the end, what we have are broken relationships and hurt feelings.
In this timely book, communication expert Mike Bechtle shows you how to build strong relationships, offering tried-and-true methods to navigate the muddy waters of having tough conversations--in person. With his help, you'll learn to be a better listener, give and receive genuine feedback, saturate your relationships with kindness, and much more--so that you'll feel confident when it comes time to actually talk.
"What a fantastic book! Mike Bechtle is not only entertaining and compelling but his advice is rock solid and practical. Anyone who is serious about having healthy relationships--at work or on the home front--will love this book. Don't miss out on Mike's message."--Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott, authors of Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts
"Mike Bechtle skillfully guides us to good communication skills. He points out that when we're under stress without the proper tools we usually default to toxic patterns learned in childhood--yelling, whining, or clamming up! Our body language, as well as our spoken words, can effectively calm our tough conversations or ignite a raging war. Being an effective communicator can be learned by using his easily applicable counsel. His book is full of wisdom."--Elizabeth B. Brown, author of Living Successfully with Screwed-Up People
Mike Bechtle (EdD, Arizona State University) is the author of People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys and How to Communicate with Confidence. His articles have appeared in publications such as Writer's Digest, Pastors.com, and Entrepreneur. A frequent speaker and blogger, Bechtle lives in California.
- GenresSelf Help
242 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 6, 2015
2 people are currently reading
267 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
January 3, 2016
Technology doesn't make communication easier. Yes we may have tools for easy communication like computers, texting and email but unless we are using the right methods to communicate we are easily misunderstood.
As Mike Bechtle explains in the introduction, "one study showed that only 7 percent of communications is in the words we use. Thirty-eight percent is our tone of voice and 55 percent is body language. In face-to-face communication, we're using all three. On the phone,we've lost the body language--so we're down to two. When communication is completely through email, texting, or social media, we're down to one--and we've lost 93 percent of the tools that helps us connect." (page 14)
YOU CAN'T TEXT A CONVERSATION will give you the tools and skills you need for better communication. Everyone can profit and learn from this book. I highly recommend this well-written book.
As Mike Bechtle explains in the introduction, "one study showed that only 7 percent of communications is in the words we use. Thirty-eight percent is our tone of voice and 55 percent is body language. In face-to-face communication, we're using all three. On the phone,we've lost the body language--so we're down to two. When communication is completely through email, texting, or social media, we're down to one--and we've lost 93 percent of the tools that helps us connect." (page 14)
YOU CAN'T TEXT A CONVERSATION will give you the tools and skills you need for better communication. Everyone can profit and learn from this book. I highly recommend this well-written book.
January 22, 2019
Superb.
Mike Bechtle´s book "You Can't Text A Tough Conversation" is book about the real conversations. Open, honest, constructive dialogues, backed by real, constructive attitudes - even if the communication gets tough and the hidden/painful area should be/must be explored.
Oh yes. And how to do that, when...?
And here this book comes handy. At first I have somehow underestimed it because of the friendly, "all-American" way it is written. But almost immediately I have started to find a little gems, hidden in the friendly sentences. Mr Bechtle has warm and approachable style, but it does not mean that he is shy of frank truths (he just says them gently).
This book is honest and very educative, aiming for the old but gold rules and values like: start from yourself - and go from there.
I gained a lot here.
Recommended read.
Mike Bechtle´s book "You Can't Text A Tough Conversation" is book about the real conversations. Open, honest, constructive dialogues, backed by real, constructive attitudes - even if the communication gets tough and the hidden/painful area should be/must be explored.
Oh yes. And how to do that, when...?
And here this book comes handy. At first I have somehow underestimed it because of the friendly, "all-American" way it is written. But almost immediately I have started to find a little gems, hidden in the friendly sentences. Mr Bechtle has warm and approachable style, but it does not mean that he is shy of frank truths (he just says them gently).
This book is honest and very educative, aiming for the old but gold rules and values like: start from yourself - and go from there.
I gained a lot here.
Recommended read.
July 9, 2021
The author explains why conversation, particularly in-person, is so essential to all relationships and encounters. I particularly found the chapter on “Power Listening” to be relevant - the difference between hearing and listening making so much difference to perspective and attitude. “Tool #4, Conversation Matrix” is an interesting explanation for the reactions and outcomes from conversation. “The Process for getting to Paris” is useful especially for business relationships. The only thing I wish had been included is conversation examples as I find myself tongue-tied in even close relationships anymore.
August 10, 2019
Mike Bechtle explains how important face to face conversations are and how to approach them with the correct tools. Using technology is not always the best way to have important conversations. Technology can be a good thing, but only when it is used correctly.
October 18, 2015
Mike Bechtle in his new book, “You Can’t Text a Tough Conversation” published by Revell gives us the ability to have a good conversation.
From the back cover: When it comes to the tough stuff, we need real, face-to-face conversations. But have we lost the art?
There’s no denying that as our use of technology has increased, our communication skills have decreased. Technology creates the illusion of being in touch, but we lose the deeper meaning conveyed by body language, facial expression, and tone of voice. We text when we should talk. We tweet firings and breakups. We vent our frustrations with other people online. Whether it’s with a spouse, a friend, a boss, a co-worker, or children, those tough conversations create high anxiety. In the end, what we have are broken relationships and hurt feelings.
In this timely book, communication expert Mike Bechtle shows you how to build strong relationships, offering tried-and-true methods to navigate the muddy waters of having tough conversations–in person. With his help, you’ll learn to be a better listener, give and receive genuine feedback, saturate your relationships with kindness, and much more–so that you’ll feel confident when it comes time to actually talk.
Relationships get challenging and conversations get tough. Sometimes the tools we have do not work well and we give up in frustration. Mike Bechtle has given us new tools we need to deal with these situations in his new book, “You Can’t Text a Tough Conversation”. He has divided the book into four parts: Part One: The Process Of Conversation, Part Two: Tools For A Healthy Conversation, Part Three: Skills For Healthy Conversation and Part Four: Growing Into Connection. If we really think about it we learned our communication skills from watching our parents and they from theirs, so these skills have been in play for generations. Let’s face it they don’t work so well in our current time and we need to embrace a new skill set. Mr. Bechtle has written this book to do exactly that. This is a great book. You might want to hold it in a special place on your shelf you might be referring to it again and again. This is also a great book to give as gifts to family and friends. They will think of you every time they put it to use. I recommend it highly.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Revell. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
From the back cover: When it comes to the tough stuff, we need real, face-to-face conversations. But have we lost the art?
There’s no denying that as our use of technology has increased, our communication skills have decreased. Technology creates the illusion of being in touch, but we lose the deeper meaning conveyed by body language, facial expression, and tone of voice. We text when we should talk. We tweet firings and breakups. We vent our frustrations with other people online. Whether it’s with a spouse, a friend, a boss, a co-worker, or children, those tough conversations create high anxiety. In the end, what we have are broken relationships and hurt feelings.
In this timely book, communication expert Mike Bechtle shows you how to build strong relationships, offering tried-and-true methods to navigate the muddy waters of having tough conversations–in person. With his help, you’ll learn to be a better listener, give and receive genuine feedback, saturate your relationships with kindness, and much more–so that you’ll feel confident when it comes time to actually talk.
Relationships get challenging and conversations get tough. Sometimes the tools we have do not work well and we give up in frustration. Mike Bechtle has given us new tools we need to deal with these situations in his new book, “You Can’t Text a Tough Conversation”. He has divided the book into four parts: Part One: The Process Of Conversation, Part Two: Tools For A Healthy Conversation, Part Three: Skills For Healthy Conversation and Part Four: Growing Into Connection. If we really think about it we learned our communication skills from watching our parents and they from theirs, so these skills have been in play for generations. Let’s face it they don’t work so well in our current time and we need to embrace a new skill set. Mr. Bechtle has written this book to do exactly that. This is a great book. You might want to hold it in a special place on your shelf you might be referring to it again and again. This is also a great book to give as gifts to family and friends. They will think of you every time they put it to use. I recommend it highly.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Revell. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
October 2, 2015
About the Book:
When it comes to the tough stuff, we need real, face-to-face conversations. But have we lost the art?
There’s no denying that as our use of technology has increased, our communication skills have decreased. Technology creates the illusion of being in touch, but we lose the deeper meaning conveyed by body language, facial expression, and tone of voice. We text when we should talk. We tweet firings and breakups. We vent our frustrations with other people online. Whether it’s with a spouse, a friend, a boss, a co-worker, or children, those tough conversations create high anxiety. In the end, what we have are broken relationships and hurt feelings.
In this timely book, communication expert Mike Bechtle shows you how to build strong relationships, offering tried-and-true methods to navigate the muddy waters of having tough conversations—in person. With his help, you’ll learn to be a better listener, give and receive genuine feedback, saturate your relationships with kindness, and much more—so that you’ll feel confident when it comes time to actually talk.
My Review:
It is sad to say but in today's world people have completely forgot how to communicate. So we have to have books such as these to teach us how to communicate again. Me, I prefer face to face conversation because for some reason during phone conversations I freeze up and don't know what to say. The author shares way to improve your face to face conversations as well teaching us how to go about it in the first place.
The author also addresses dealing with difficult conversations and conflict quickly. I have found that to be a better way in my life, as well. Calling or texting is almost always not appropriate. Today's world has evolved into a regression that would date back to before the advancement of technology, reminiscent of the pioneer days in a way. You could could literally go months before seeing or talking to friends or family. It seems we are headed that way again.
**Disclosure** This book was sent to me free of charge for my honest review from Revell.
When it comes to the tough stuff, we need real, face-to-face conversations. But have we lost the art?
There’s no denying that as our use of technology has increased, our communication skills have decreased. Technology creates the illusion of being in touch, but we lose the deeper meaning conveyed by body language, facial expression, and tone of voice. We text when we should talk. We tweet firings and breakups. We vent our frustrations with other people online. Whether it’s with a spouse, a friend, a boss, a co-worker, or children, those tough conversations create high anxiety. In the end, what we have are broken relationships and hurt feelings.
In this timely book, communication expert Mike Bechtle shows you how to build strong relationships, offering tried-and-true methods to navigate the muddy waters of having tough conversations—in person. With his help, you’ll learn to be a better listener, give and receive genuine feedback, saturate your relationships with kindness, and much more—so that you’ll feel confident when it comes time to actually talk.
My Review:
It is sad to say but in today's world people have completely forgot how to communicate. So we have to have books such as these to teach us how to communicate again. Me, I prefer face to face conversation because for some reason during phone conversations I freeze up and don't know what to say. The author shares way to improve your face to face conversations as well teaching us how to go about it in the first place.
The author also addresses dealing with difficult conversations and conflict quickly. I have found that to be a better way in my life, as well. Calling or texting is almost always not appropriate. Today's world has evolved into a regression that would date back to before the advancement of technology, reminiscent of the pioneer days in a way. You could could literally go months before seeing or talking to friends or family. It seems we are headed that way again.
**Disclosure** This book was sent to me free of charge for my honest review from Revell.
October 21, 2015
We text, email, and update our status on social sites to communicate with others. “There's a definite place for social media,” Bechtle writes, “but it's not for making deep connections with people and growing relationships. It's for keeping track of others in a casual way...” This book is a good reminder that a key to healthy relationships is effective communication. Often, the text or email is just not enough. We need face to face conversation.
We are reminded how much of communication is beyond the mere words being said. There is body language and tone of voice that we miss by communicating technologically. That can be up to 90% of the tools essential for effective communication.
Bechtle wants us to communicate well so he gives us a strategy to use with various tools and techniques. This book is a good exploration of communication, looking at the needs of people, the tools we can use for conversation and the techniques for using those tools. He includes other aspects of relationships too, like how they mature and how communication problems develop.
I liked his thoughts on listening and how important it is to establishing authentic communication. He encourages us to be present, really listening, not thinking of our next response. His teachings on humility and pride are excellent.
Bechtle says we can always refresh our communication toolbox. We can learn new skills to be more effective communicators. He give practical steps to do just that. He has some good ideas to keep technology from taking over relationship times, like turning off cell phones during family meals.
The bottom line is that we must be intentional to communicate well and build good relationships. “Technology should be a way of enhancing our communication, not replacing it.”
I highly recommend this book to those who desire to communicate well. You'll learn essential skills for good communication, even when the conversation is a tough one.
I received a complimentary egalley of this book from the publisher for the purpose of an independent and honest review.
We are reminded how much of communication is beyond the mere words being said. There is body language and tone of voice that we miss by communicating technologically. That can be up to 90% of the tools essential for effective communication.
Bechtle wants us to communicate well so he gives us a strategy to use with various tools and techniques. This book is a good exploration of communication, looking at the needs of people, the tools we can use for conversation and the techniques for using those tools. He includes other aspects of relationships too, like how they mature and how communication problems develop.
I liked his thoughts on listening and how important it is to establishing authentic communication. He encourages us to be present, really listening, not thinking of our next response. His teachings on humility and pride are excellent.
Bechtle says we can always refresh our communication toolbox. We can learn new skills to be more effective communicators. He give practical steps to do just that. He has some good ideas to keep technology from taking over relationship times, like turning off cell phones during family meals.
The bottom line is that we must be intentional to communicate well and build good relationships. “Technology should be a way of enhancing our communication, not replacing it.”
I highly recommend this book to those who desire to communicate well. You'll learn essential skills for good communication, even when the conversation is a tough one.
I received a complimentary egalley of this book from the publisher for the purpose of an independent and honest review.
November 1, 2015
Technology. Communication. Can the two go hand in hand?
Mike Bechtle explores these two elements in his fourth book. At first I thought the book would address more the use of technology and ways to combat having and using technology and still be able to have conversation. He does make the introduction with mentioning technology, but shifts to the main element of conversation. Bechtle explores the deeper things that make up conversation, with relationships being at the core: how we interact, how we listen, how we are as individuals, how we relate to others, etc. Those things all influence and are basics of how we approach actual conversation. And conversation isn't actually talking, but listening as well.
I admit, I was a little disappointed on the focus about the building blocks of conversation and not the focus on technology. But, after reading the book I can see how "conversation" needed to be dissected first so we know what things can make or break good conversation. As with other books of this nature, I get a little bogged down in the explanation some times. Examples are great to make a point, but sometimes I feel like saying, "OK, I get it already." I felt that a few places in the book.
Bechtle adds statistics and study information to backup and add credence to his writing, which I always fund interesting and helpful. There were several pages that got "dog-eared" because of points he made or observations that were impacting. Something else that Bechtle does is add quotes from various sources, from famous to anonymous, as a "prelude to the chapter". Some I actually laughed out loud on they were that funny!
Bechtle, does brings the book full circle and concludes with things we can do to use technology for good and not evil in sustaining the life of old-fashioned conversation. Technology is here to stay. It's how we use it (or not) that makes the difference.
Overall, 4 stars.
(I was given this book for free by the publisher in exchange for an honest review.)
Mike Bechtle explores these two elements in his fourth book. At first I thought the book would address more the use of technology and ways to combat having and using technology and still be able to have conversation. He does make the introduction with mentioning technology, but shifts to the main element of conversation. Bechtle explores the deeper things that make up conversation, with relationships being at the core: how we interact, how we listen, how we are as individuals, how we relate to others, etc. Those things all influence and are basics of how we approach actual conversation. And conversation isn't actually talking, but listening as well.
I admit, I was a little disappointed on the focus about the building blocks of conversation and not the focus on technology. But, after reading the book I can see how "conversation" needed to be dissected first so we know what things can make or break good conversation. As with other books of this nature, I get a little bogged down in the explanation some times. Examples are great to make a point, but sometimes I feel like saying, "OK, I get it already." I felt that a few places in the book.
Bechtle adds statistics and study information to backup and add credence to his writing, which I always fund interesting and helpful. There were several pages that got "dog-eared" because of points he made or observations that were impacting. Something else that Bechtle does is add quotes from various sources, from famous to anonymous, as a "prelude to the chapter". Some I actually laughed out loud on they were that funny!
Bechtle, does brings the book full circle and concludes with things we can do to use technology for good and not evil in sustaining the life of old-fashioned conversation. Technology is here to stay. It's how we use it (or not) that makes the difference.
Overall, 4 stars.
(I was given this book for free by the publisher in exchange for an honest review.)
December 17, 2015
"You Can't Text A Tough Conversation" by Mike Bechtle is a book about real conversations not just a quick texting type relationships. I was not sure what to expect with this book. I was interested to see if the author was going to do like some people do which is paint new technology with its all bad brush. He does not do this at all he shows and talks about how we need to have a healthy respect for technology ie phones and social media, etc. One of the points I really liked was his reminder that when we write something on the Internet we need to remember would we say these things to the person if they were right in front of us. Also I liked how he reminds us that an in person conversation will be better to understand what person meant with their comments than a text or facebook post. As those do not show angry or misunderstanding in their weird like a in person conversation can clarify our conversation. It was a hard book for me to read for some reason but that was me. I still recommend it as it was a good book on remembering to focus on people in person more than just on a screen.
I was given this book Revell a division of Baker Publishing Group for my honest review and was not required to give a positive review.
I was given this book Revell a division of Baker Publishing Group for my honest review and was not required to give a positive review.
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December 8, 2015This review is also posted on Book by Book.
In his new book, You Can’t Text a Tough Conversation, Mike Bechtle addresses big topics of relationships, communication, and technology with beneficial insight. In a time when a lot of communication occurs via technology, reminders of how to effectively build strong relationships and hold tough conversations face-to-face are always important and valuable. Easy to understand and put into practice, You Can’t Text a Tough Conversation offers any reader a generally good and helpful read - I would recommend it.
Thanks to Revell Reads, I received a copy of You Can’t Text a Tough Conversation and the opportunity to provide an honest review. I was not required to write a positive review, and all the opinions I have expressed are my own.
In his new book, You Can’t Text a Tough Conversation, Mike Bechtle addresses big topics of relationships, communication, and technology with beneficial insight. In a time when a lot of communication occurs via technology, reminders of how to effectively build strong relationships and hold tough conversations face-to-face are always important and valuable. Easy to understand and put into practice, You Can’t Text a Tough Conversation offers any reader a generally good and helpful read - I would recommend it.
Thanks to Revell Reads, I received a copy of You Can’t Text a Tough Conversation and the opportunity to provide an honest review. I was not required to write a positive review, and all the opinions I have expressed are my own.
October 3, 2015
In You Can’t Text a Tough Conversation, Mike Bechtel discusses how to handle tough conversations in a healthy way. The book includes many key elements that explore how to improve one’s friendships and relationships. I enjoyed the passages about building and retaining trust, and I also really liked the section about encouraging honest feedback from others. The book examines a lot of important issues, such as how to make our relationships “safe” through good communication. One of my favorite illustrations that Bechtel used was when he compared dancing to communication. Though we are part of a society that relies heavily on technology, this book shows the value of face-to-face conversations.
I received this book for review.
I received this book for review.
October 16, 2015
My honest opinion is that the book is okay, its not a favorite of mine but it definitely talked about somethings that are totally true in my opinion. People have no communication skills now days instead of calling you they test you. What happen to the good oh calling you on your birthday now you get a text saying happy birthday. Please also are sending group text to invite you to parties instead of calling you or even sending you an invite in the mail people are getting lazy with there communications skills. Overall good information but just not my cup of tea, but the author did an awesome job.
I received a book called: You Can't Text a Tough Conversation By Mike Bechtle for free for my honest opinion.
I received a book called: You Can't Text a Tough Conversation By Mike Bechtle for free for my honest opinion.
November 9, 2015
If you take ten minutes away from your phones and tablets and just watch people in a crowded location you'll notice that 90% of them are staring at their phone or tablet instead of talking with the person they are with. We leave our phones on the counter when we sit down for dinner. I insist that when we travel that physical books are in the car. This book has a wealth of information and ideas for when you sit down, face to face. It's not going to be easy, but you really can't do it with text. I found the book to be easy to understand and I agreed with the majority if not all of the content. I received an ARC through Revell Publishers in exchange for an honest review. This in no way influenced my opinion.
September 27, 2015
As a communications minor student I found this book to be rather interesting. This book had a lot of useful information about communications. It goes in to how to avoid communications problems and how to resolve the problem once it has happened. I found this book as knowledgeable as any textbook without any of the normal dryness that comes with a textbook. I appreciated the real life stories as they helped demonstrate the usefulness of these techniques.
I was sent this book for free for a honest review.
View my full review at: http://misty103.hubpages.com/hub/You-...
I was sent this book for free for a honest review.
View my full review at: http://misty103.hubpages.com/hub/You-...
April 3, 2016
Perfect book at the most perfect time. Won courtesy of Goodreads.com
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August 18, 2018Great reminders of the key tools and ingredients of healthy relationships, especially when approaching difficult conversations.
“We need to focus on expectancy rather than expectations. Rather than trying to squeeze a relationship into a picture we have in our minds, we need to anticipate the creative masterpiece that can emerge as we paint together.” Pg. 30
This book focuses on the important of human moments:
“Human moments have become more rare as they have been replaced by technological moments. When people communicate electronically without having face-to-face conversations, they miss the subtleties hat draw people together. When we’re physically present with someone and give them our undivided attention, we have a human moment. That’s connection.” Pg. 51
“We need to focus on expectancy rather than expectations. Rather than trying to squeeze a relationship into a picture we have in our minds, we need to anticipate the creative masterpiece that can emerge as we paint together.” Pg. 30
This book focuses on the important of human moments:
“Human moments have become more rare as they have been replaced by technological moments. When people communicate electronically without having face-to-face conversations, they miss the subtleties hat draw people together. When we’re physically present with someone and give them our undivided attention, we have a human moment. That’s connection.” Pg. 51
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews