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I Do It with the Lights On: And 10 More Discoveries on the Road to a Blissfully Shame-Free Life
From the star of TLC’s My Big Fat Fabulous Life and the YouTube sensation “A Fat Girl Dancing” comes an empowering memoir about letting go of your limitations and living the life you deserve. Right now.
Whitney Way Thore stands five feet two inches tall and weighs well over three hundred pounds, and she is totally, completely, and truly . . . happy. But she wasn’t always the vivacious, confident woman you see on TV. Growing up as a dancer, Whitney felt the pressure to be thin, a desire that grew into an obsession as she got older. From developing an eating disorder as a teenager, to extreme weight gain in college, to her ongoing struggle with polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), Whitney reveals her fight to overcome the darkest moments in her life. She holds nothing back, opening up about the depths of her depression as well as her resilience in the face of constant harassment and mistreatment.
Now Whitney is on top of the world and taking no BS (Body Shame, of course). And she’s sharing the steps she took to get there and the powerful message behind her successful No Body Shame campaign. She even reveals her favorite “F” word (it’s probably not what you think), the thrill of doing it with the lights on, and the story behind the “Fat Girl Dancing” video that started it all.
Exuberant and utterly honest, I Do It with the Lights On is the inspiring story of how Whitney finally discovered her fabulousness when she stepped off the scale and into her life, embracing herself unconditionally—body, heart, and soul.
Advance praise for I Do It with the Lights On
“Whitney’s story is one of radical vulnerability. She is a vibrant example of what it means to choose confidence when insecurity beckons from every corner. She is cool, funny, and shameless—in the best possible way.” —Kelsey Miller, author of Big How I Gave Up Dieting & Got a Life
“Soaring above expectations, I Do It with the Lights On delves into the complicated relationship between a woman and her body. With her trademark charisma, Whitney emerges triumphant, plucking from the mire some of the most important realizations one can hope to have. If you have a body, this memoir is a must-read.” —Linda Bacon, PhD
Whitney Way Thore stands five feet two inches tall and weighs well over three hundred pounds, and she is totally, completely, and truly . . . happy. But she wasn’t always the vivacious, confident woman you see on TV. Growing up as a dancer, Whitney felt the pressure to be thin, a desire that grew into an obsession as she got older. From developing an eating disorder as a teenager, to extreme weight gain in college, to her ongoing struggle with polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), Whitney reveals her fight to overcome the darkest moments in her life. She holds nothing back, opening up about the depths of her depression as well as her resilience in the face of constant harassment and mistreatment.
Now Whitney is on top of the world and taking no BS (Body Shame, of course). And she’s sharing the steps she took to get there and the powerful message behind her successful No Body Shame campaign. She even reveals her favorite “F” word (it’s probably not what you think), the thrill of doing it with the lights on, and the story behind the “Fat Girl Dancing” video that started it all.
Exuberant and utterly honest, I Do It with the Lights On is the inspiring story of how Whitney finally discovered her fabulousness when she stepped off the scale and into her life, embracing herself unconditionally—body, heart, and soul.
Advance praise for I Do It with the Lights On
“Whitney’s story is one of radical vulnerability. She is a vibrant example of what it means to choose confidence when insecurity beckons from every corner. She is cool, funny, and shameless—in the best possible way.” —Kelsey Miller, author of Big How I Gave Up Dieting & Got a Life
“Soaring above expectations, I Do It with the Lights On delves into the complicated relationship between a woman and her body. With her trademark charisma, Whitney emerges triumphant, plucking from the mire some of the most important realizations one can hope to have. If you have a body, this memoir is a must-read.” —Linda Bacon, PhD
256 pages, Hardcover
First published May 31, 2016
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 173 reviews
March 23, 2016
I live in a cave. I've never seen "Fat Girl Dancing" on youtube. I've never heard of "My Big Fat Fabulous Life." As the media became obsessed with impossibly perfect people, my TV went out on the street for trash pickup. Why would anyone subject themselves to such negative role models--size 00--really?
When a curvy woman wearing a negligee and a smirk, says “I Do It With The Lights On,” who wouldn’t want to see what that’s all about? “A talented dancer, a soccer champion, a prom princess,” family photos show a cute kid living a charmed life, but inside Whitney Way Thore was already struggling with body shame in grade school. By college she was amphetamine addicted, starving and purging, and still didn’t feel she was thin enough.
Whitney is real people, dealing with serious issues (like PCOS and weight stigma) with humor and wisdom; channeling that inner voice we women contend with every waking moment, are we “thin enough, curvy enough, made-up enough, fresh-faced enough, innocent enough, or provocative enough?” It’s time to tune it out. “Stop caring what people think about [your] body and start living in it . . . why waste any more time waiting until [you’re] thin to do things, fall in love, or be happy?”
“Love yourself. Live fully. No excuses. No shame.” And that Fat Girl Dancing video? You go, girl.
I received this book in exchange for an honest review.
When a curvy woman wearing a negligee and a smirk, says “I Do It With The Lights On,” who wouldn’t want to see what that’s all about? “A talented dancer, a soccer champion, a prom princess,” family photos show a cute kid living a charmed life, but inside Whitney Way Thore was already struggling with body shame in grade school. By college she was amphetamine addicted, starving and purging, and still didn’t feel she was thin enough.
Whitney is real people, dealing with serious issues (like PCOS and weight stigma) with humor and wisdom; channeling that inner voice we women contend with every waking moment, are we “thin enough, curvy enough, made-up enough, fresh-faced enough, innocent enough, or provocative enough?” It’s time to tune it out. “Stop caring what people think about [your] body and start living in it . . . why waste any more time waiting until [you’re] thin to do things, fall in love, or be happy?”
“Love yourself. Live fully. No excuses. No shame.” And that Fat Girl Dancing video? You go, girl.
I received this book in exchange for an honest review.
June 6, 2016
I am a huge fan of My Big Fat Fabulous Life and Whitney. The show is hilarious and this book really carries that over. Whitney is so wise. She is so inspiring. A great book that many, many women and men will be able to relate to. A beautiful ode to loving yourself just the way you are.
June 4, 2019
I have not watched My Big Fat Fabulous Life starring Whitney Way Thore. I heard about this book in the new FabUplus magazine.
Thore’s book begins with some context and then heads into her youth. At five years old, her mother is informed that Thore needs to watch what she eats. As evidence, Thore includes photos throughout the book, such as a slender girl in her bathing suit next to the caption, “Rocking my bathing suit during the summer before my first diet.” In elementary school, Thore participates in soccer, dance, and swimming. She is labeled “baby beluga.”
Her photos show a healthy-looking young girl; her analysis demonstrates someone in mental torment: "The consensus was that my body was shame. My body embarrassed me."
I found the photos particularly effective. Looking at my own photos I realize that when I thought I was fat, I look only slightly larger than everyone else around me. I don’t look at photos now and cringe at the change; I’m sad for the girl who hated herself so deeply, and in that way readers can create a personal connection with Thore.
Thore quickly became bulimic, and though many people know about it, no one does anything. In fact, at a special school all the girls get together and throw up. They celebrate for “a job well done.” Though detailing all the painful memories of youth can seem like a sob story in the wrong hands, Thore demonstrates how an obsession with weight can lead a young girl to a life of shame.
Readers who feel disgust at the fat body may think turning to healthy eating and exercise will fix everything. Thore works with nutritionists and trainers, she dances for hours per week. Unlike math, bodies are unpredictable. You can’t do X and always get Y, which frustrates the young woman. One person always checking in on Thore’s body is her father, whom she looks up to, but who might come off differently to readers:
Before she discovers she must love her body to love herself, Thore struggles with chronic depression, polycystic ovarian syndrome, shame, and damaging comments. Thore fails out of college after she suffers depression and gains 50lbs in four months–the result of both inactivity/poor diet and a chronic illness. After she does graduate, Thore travels to South Korea to work as an English teacher. With her more advanced class, she goes over an article about obesity in relation to health problems. To test their comprehension, she asks:
My criteria for positive representations of fat women in fiction and nonfiction are all met in I Do It With The Lights On. Boyfriends don’t always make Thore happy, so she’s willing to break up with men. She works hard at all of her jobs, putting in more hours and effort than her colleagues (disposing of the “lazy” stereotype). She also details how weight loss takes up most of a woman’s time that could be dedicated elsewhere. For instance, when she returns from Korea after several years, her parents have her move into their house and abstain from employment so she can work on fitness. She’s counting calories and exercising with a personal trainer. Yes, you can lose 100lbs, but changing the body is a full-time job.
Thore is honest, too. Half way through the book she has still not discovered the body positive movement. She’s dedicated all of her hours to food and fitness. She notes:
Her honesty extends to her sex life. Thore seeks sexual partners for her own pleasure, but she doesn’t sleep with everyone she meets. Several pages are devoted to exploring both the flattery and objectification found in websites full of men seeking fat women to have sex with them, stand on them, or feed. Sexual relationships are presented respectfully, thank goodness.
One reason I wanted to find books about fat women is lack of representation. However, my quest is also to teach people of other sizes that they are privileged, not better. Fat people are asked to count calories and exercise daily so they’re better to look at. However, thin people are not questioned about their diets/physical activity, even if they eat poorly and are inactive, because they don’t look fat. Thore acknowledges she’s been on both sides of the aisle:
Honest, analytical, and carefully constructed, Whitney Way Thore’s memoir is a must-read for those fighting in the #nobodyshame movement.
This review was originally published at Grab the Lapels.
Thore’s book begins with some context and then heads into her youth. At five years old, her mother is informed that Thore needs to watch what she eats. As evidence, Thore includes photos throughout the book, such as a slender girl in her bathing suit next to the caption, “Rocking my bathing suit during the summer before my first diet.” In elementary school, Thore participates in soccer, dance, and swimming. She is labeled “baby beluga.”
Her photos show a healthy-looking young girl; her analysis demonstrates someone in mental torment: "The consensus was that my body was shame. My body embarrassed me."
I found the photos particularly effective. Looking at my own photos I realize that when I thought I was fat, I look only slightly larger than everyone else around me. I don’t look at photos now and cringe at the change; I’m sad for the girl who hated herself so deeply, and in that way readers can create a personal connection with Thore.
Thore quickly became bulimic, and though many people know about it, no one does anything. In fact, at a special school all the girls get together and throw up. They celebrate for “a job well done.” Though detailing all the painful memories of youth can seem like a sob story in the wrong hands, Thore demonstrates how an obsession with weight can lead a young girl to a life of shame.
Readers who feel disgust at the fat body may think turning to healthy eating and exercise will fix everything. Thore works with nutritionists and trainers, she dances for hours per week. Unlike math, bodies are unpredictable. You can’t do X and always get Y, which frustrates the young woman. One person always checking in on Thore’s body is her father, whom she looks up to, but who might come off differently to readers:
One day in particular, as I was rushing out of the house for school, I told [my dad] I hadn’t lost any weight the previous day.Though she constantly forgives her father for his abusive remarks, it was hard for me to do so, too. Perhaps she doesn’t fully see how incremental he was to her eating disorder and self-hatred, but I don’t expect writers to fully know their lives by the end of a book. She may still be learning about her dad.
“Well, what did you eat yesterday?”
“A sandwich,” I told him.
“Well, tomorrow,” he suggested, “don’t eat a sandwich.”
Before she discovers she must love her body to love herself, Thore struggles with chronic depression, polycystic ovarian syndrome, shame, and damaging comments. Thore fails out of college after she suffers depression and gains 50lbs in four months–the result of both inactivity/poor diet and a chronic illness. After she does graduate, Thore travels to South Korea to work as an English teacher. With her more advanced class, she goes over an article about obesity in relation to health problems. To test their comprehension, she asks:
“…what is one side effect of obesity?” A quiet, attentive student who went by the name Kerrick raised his hand.This part of the memoir really struck me. It never occurred to me that other people would think fat men and women want to kill themselves.
With stone-cold seriousness he answered, “Suicide.”
His answer caught me so off guard that I laughed inappropriately. “Well, no…” I began. “The article doesn’t mention that. I’m obese, right?”
Twelve blank faces looked back at me, nodding.
“Do you think I will kill myself?”
Kerrick explained, “Teacher, maybe you have some depressions and maybe you want to die.”
My criteria for positive representations of fat women in fiction and nonfiction are all met in I Do It With The Lights On. Boyfriends don’t always make Thore happy, so she’s willing to break up with men. She works hard at all of her jobs, putting in more hours and effort than her colleagues (disposing of the “lazy” stereotype). She also details how weight loss takes up most of a woman’s time that could be dedicated elsewhere. For instance, when she returns from Korea after several years, her parents have her move into their house and abstain from employment so she can work on fitness. She’s counting calories and exercising with a personal trainer. Yes, you can lose 100lbs, but changing the body is a full-time job.
Thore is honest, too. Half way through the book she has still not discovered the body positive movement. She’s dedicated all of her hours to food and fitness. She notes:
Once I started to lose weight and saw how difficult it was for me to do so, I lost all sympathy for fat people who said they couldn’t lose weight . . .. I prided myself on being a different kind of fat person.Instead of clinging to her attitude, Thore realizes she is delusional. Even when she is losing weight, society sees a fat women; it doesn’t matter if she’s just come from the gym. Society sees fat as a failure without any context.
Her honesty extends to her sex life. Thore seeks sexual partners for her own pleasure, but she doesn’t sleep with everyone she meets. Several pages are devoted to exploring both the flattery and objectification found in websites full of men seeking fat women to have sex with them, stand on them, or feed. Sexual relationships are presented respectfully, thank goodness.
One reason I wanted to find books about fat women is lack of representation. However, my quest is also to teach people of other sizes that they are privileged, not better. Fat people are asked to count calories and exercise daily so they’re better to look at. However, thin people are not questioned about their diets/physical activity, even if they eat poorly and are inactive, because they don’t look fat. Thore acknowledges she’s been on both sides of the aisle:
As a teenager, I wasn’t blind to the systematic sexualization of women . . . but I wasn’t as concerned with it because it was a system that benefited me. A young, privileged girl submits to the system by offering up her appearance as collateral, and she receives positive attention and affirmation in return for her willingness to play the game. As long as she stays obsessed with her appearance, making it a top priority, society will cheer her on for this and dole out validation accordingly.At 130lbs in high school, Thore was praised when she dropped a few pounds. As a woman nearly 30 years old, at around 330lbs, she must prove every day she is smart, talented, cares, is valued, and deserves love.
Honest, analytical, and carefully constructed, Whitney Way Thore’s memoir is a must-read for those fighting in the #nobodyshame movement.
This review was originally published at Grab the Lapels.
July 15, 2017
At any given discussion I can change the rating of this book from a one star to four star. I settled on 3 stars only because Whitney is also critical on how the English language is used either appropriately or inappropriately. But then this book is about acceptance of one's body. It wasn't until I talked with my friend regarding thought processes that I realized that some people believe that they are always being judged from other. For me, this has never been a true statement as I always believed my Scottish grandmother who said "what makes you think you are so important the strangers spend time thinking about you?"
I believed that Whitney was totally off the wall regarding what she consumed in a day while keeping up an extreme weight training and exercising lifestyle. On the weight watcher program she would consume 26 points a day including a Starbucks iced Coffee. Not totally realistic and would be totally unobtainable by me that I wouldn't even try to do her eating regime.
Whitey went from "I wouldn't have to deal with asshole boyfriends and prying eyes and nasty judgments. I'd have my pick of men who deserved me. I could stop watching my old dance videos and actually perform the routines instead. I could live up to my potential." (page 133). To wanting to focus on healthy behaviours that I know will help me feel better and promote my overall well-being (page 235). A huge difference in one's thought process. Furthermore, in my humble opinion this transition was not effectively written to find tranquility and acceptance in Whitney's life.
As Whitney's father told her on page 180 "you're not going to be able to change the world, but you can change yourself." In reality that is all any one of us can do. So you might as well accept your reality and enjoy you days because in the grand scheme of things as human beings we are only here for a nano second of time.
I believed that Whitney was totally off the wall regarding what she consumed in a day while keeping up an extreme weight training and exercising lifestyle. On the weight watcher program she would consume 26 points a day including a Starbucks iced Coffee. Not totally realistic and would be totally unobtainable by me that I wouldn't even try to do her eating regime.
Whitey went from "I wouldn't have to deal with asshole boyfriends and prying eyes and nasty judgments. I'd have my pick of men who deserved me. I could stop watching my old dance videos and actually perform the routines instead. I could live up to my potential." (page 133). To wanting to focus on healthy behaviours that I know will help me feel better and promote my overall well-being (page 235). A huge difference in one's thought process. Furthermore, in my humble opinion this transition was not effectively written to find tranquility and acceptance in Whitney's life.
As Whitney's father told her on page 180 "you're not going to be able to change the world, but you can change yourself." In reality that is all any one of us can do. So you might as well accept your reality and enjoy you days because in the grand scheme of things as human beings we are only here for a nano second of time.
August 1, 2016
I'm not one for reading non-fiction, and I've certainly never heard of the author or her videos/show, but when I read the blurb for this book, I felt that I had to read it! It chronicles the author's journey to accept herself as is and accept the things about herself that she really couldn't change. It was a very inspiring story and one that made me think about my own issues and challenged the beliefs I held. I would highly recommend this book to anyone with self image issues!
January 30, 2017
I really wish this was around when I was first diagnosed with PCOS back when I was 19...
June 10, 2016
I've been a fan of Whitney ever since I heard she had PCOS. I loved her viral video and when I learned she had PCOS, and was getting her own show, I was elated. Being a woman who has it as well, it is WONDERFUL to see a public figure getting the word out, and promoting awareness of this horrible, incurable disease. I sympathized with her plight and her struggles. I feel everyone should be respected and not made to feel inferior due to an affliction or being "different" in any way. I have PCOS, I'm bipolar, and my husband is black (and I am white). For these reasons, I've been targeted for judgement, criticism, racism, and bigotry alike. Whitney's book is inclusive to everyone who may fall outside of what society promotes as "acceptable" or "the norm". In some spots, it is so difficult to read because she has been through some things that some cannot even imagine. I don't often take the time to write a review, so that alone speaks volumes. I did, however, feel a bit ostracized when she mentioned the diet industry and downing all the weight loss products, surgeries, fads, and crazes. Having had weight loss surgery, I felt like she was condemning it. For me, it was an extremely difficult decision but it was worth it to regain my quality of life. But overall #TeamWhitney #NoBodyShame
August 2, 2016
I am enthusiastic about this book and I couldn't have been happier to read it before the official release date, which will be May 31.
I Do It with Lights On is Whitney's personal account of her life as a talented dancer, straight As student and young girl dealing with the pressure to be thin. From developing an eating disorder as a teenager to extreme weight gain in college to her ongoing struggle with polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) Whitney tells it all.
Written with brutal sincerity this book will find its way to your heart.
Read more and share your thoughts on The Serial Reader Blog.
*This book was kindly sent to me via NetGalley by Random House Publishing Group - Ballantine*
I Do It with Lights On is Whitney's personal account of her life as a talented dancer, straight As student and young girl dealing with the pressure to be thin. From developing an eating disorder as a teenager to extreme weight gain in college to her ongoing struggle with polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) Whitney tells it all.
Written with brutal sincerity this book will find its way to your heart.
Read more and share your thoughts on The Serial Reader Blog.
*This book was kindly sent to me via NetGalley by Random House Publishing Group - Ballantine*
February 5, 2018
I picked up I DO IT WITH THE LIGHTS ON by Whitney Way Thore because I was looking for a self-help book related to parenting stress and the title caught my eye. I saw that it was about living a shame-free life and it was a story about a big girl, something I could relate to but would never talk to someone about. I had never heard of her, her TLC show, or her YouTube videos. I just thought maybe it was something I should read and that I'd be grateful that I picked up. I was right.
When I turned 40, I decided I was done being an enemy of myself. I think that may be why I related to this book and appreciated her telling her story because I'd had my "ah ha" moment. Reading this novel flashed me back to being in ballet as a kid, playing basketball when I wasn't the fastest, and all sort of body issues and self-treatment that I tried because some part of me felt that I was out of sync with my peers. Reading this novel really reinforced that I cannot have body issues without my daughter having body issues and I would be crushed if she inherited this from me. Because I have felt like I had to try harder than everyone else at everything just to be visible, I thought the conclusion of this book was spot on. This book just made me feel more peaceful about myself. It reinforced the decisions I am already making for myself and I'm glad that I picked it up and that I read it. I don't know if it's for everyone or if it will make you look at yourself or someone you pass on the street differently, but it did both of these for me.
When I turned 40, I decided I was done being an enemy of myself. I think that may be why I related to this book and appreciated her telling her story because I'd had my "ah ha" moment. Reading this novel flashed me back to being in ballet as a kid, playing basketball when I wasn't the fastest, and all sort of body issues and self-treatment that I tried because some part of me felt that I was out of sync with my peers. Reading this novel really reinforced that I cannot have body issues without my daughter having body issues and I would be crushed if she inherited this from me. Because I have felt like I had to try harder than everyone else at everything just to be visible, I thought the conclusion of this book was spot on. This book just made me feel more peaceful about myself. It reinforced the decisions I am already making for myself and I'm glad that I picked it up and that I read it. I don't know if it's for everyone or if it will make you look at yourself or someone you pass on the street differently, but it did both of these for me.
January 19, 2025
I have had this book for awhile and I don’t know why I just started reading it now. I wish I read it sooner! I have always been a big fan of Whitney. I love learning about her back story and everything she has been through leading up to her show and fame. I feel for all the struggles shes had throughout her life but love how she has turned her hard-ships into positivity and has been able to be the best version of herself without worrying about the number on the scale or her BMI. She is absolutely right about feeling fully comfortable in your body first and learning what your body needs for fuel instead of listening to body stigmas and the diet industry. If you are thinking about reading this book, DO IT!
November 17, 2017
4.75. Took off a bit for the use of "differently-abled". #angrydisabledwomanwhohatesthatword.
Important book! Highly recommend :)
Important book! Highly recommend :)
September 10, 2016
I just recently started watching "My Big Fat Fabulous Life," partly because it's filmed in Greensboro (holla!) and partly because Whitney Way Thore is charming and compelling and really fun to watch. But I have conflicted feelings about her - I believe that she has PCOS but I don't believe that's the reason she is as obese as she's become; I believe that her friends and family enable her and I wonder how having a reality show that focuses on her weight affects her day-to-day decisions - but I also recognize that the fact that I HAVE those feelings is part of the reality that overweight people in our culture have to endure. At the end of the day, the way that Whitney lives her life has zero effect on mine, so why do some of her choices bother me? Her memoir delves into some of that, explaining what it's like to be an overweight person in America and the discrimination that she endures. Her life story is interesting - the snippets about her dad, whom I love on the show, are particularly eye-opening - and I enjoyed learning more about her, but the end of the book, delving into her no-body-shame campaign and explaining feminism, kinda lost me. Basically, worth a read if you're a fan of her show or find yourself feeling any kind of strong emotions about her life choices. But probably, you already knew that that's who this was for.
June 2, 2016
Ms. Thore has taken life and put it all out there. This book is an account of her life dealing with being her. The shame that outsiders and at times even people she loves place on her for living the life she is given. Saddly this is normal for many people that keep it hidden and in the dark. As I went to write this review it hit me that one of my takes from this book is Ms. Thore expected people to be more. Don't settle for what people hand out, don't settle for less because others think you should, don't even listen to those with higher education (i.e. doctors) if they are not willing to see a complete picture of you. Learn to love life in all that it hands you and help others to live a full happy life, in the way that is best for them.
Yes it deals with her personal body shaming, weight issues and feminism. However what she is sharing is that there is so much more to life, for her, for you for me and others. This book makes you think about everything as a whole. Don't let anyone tell you what there is to life, don't let others tell you to hide what they don't like and sit in the dark unseen or heard or made to feel bad. There is a great world out there for you and the life ment for you is worth the time and effort to turn on the light!
Yes it deals with her personal body shaming, weight issues and feminism. However what she is sharing is that there is so much more to life, for her, for you for me and others. This book makes you think about everything as a whole. Don't let anyone tell you what there is to life, don't let others tell you to hide what they don't like and sit in the dark unseen or heard or made to feel bad. There is a great world out there for you and the life ment for you is worth the time and effort to turn on the light!
March 14, 2017
Five stars really when considering that Whitney (and collaborators?) aptly achieved and expressed the message of body positivity with total rock star style, ease, and readability; four stars because of course this book isn't going to be shelved next to my Sylvia Plath volumes. I want to be Whitney's BFF. I am an unashamed fan of the reality TV series, and her memoir was a joy to read. Her effusive personality shines through, and her words are truly relatable for any person in ANY body. In the end, she comments that "when you risk a lot, you gain a lot." True to this statement, she has made herself "visible" to the whole world, but in doing so, she shows how this has not only proved her own self-worth, but that of so many others who can relate to her "no body shame campaign," and more importantly, her simple agenda that everybody, and every BODY, is deserving of love and respect.
July 9, 2017
Thore is a repulsive human being and it has nothing to do with her weight. You'd think, considering that every person who has ever met her is bowled over by her magnificence (seriously, the entire book is her telling us about people telling her how amazing she is), she wouldn't be so stealth-vindictive and simmeringly hateful about everyone, including her friends and fans at large. I feel worse for having read this. Gross.
September 15, 2016
If you have pcos or have ever dealt with being bullied because of your weight this is a good book to read. Whitney is straight forward about her experiences and emotions regarding weight and I appreciate that. It was a nice read, sometimes wordy and there were more parts I wish she spoke more about.
August 25, 2016
I LOVE THIS WOMAN! She's smart, she's funny and she made me think about how I've been talking to my own body. I adore her wit and I can't wait to see and hear more of her.
January 12, 2019
Having just finished Whitney's book and having all the messages swirling around in my brain I figured now would be the best time to post my review/option of it. I must say it was no less than what I expected from her, AWESOMENESS! Her lively and bubbly personality shine through even in some of the darker chapters where she discusses her battle with eating disorders and her overwhelming need for the approval of her father, which isn't something I find many authors do well. Not only did her words speak to me on a very personal level. My life struggles mirror hers almost identically, from having pcos, to the constant comparisons she did throughout her life to other people, to the eating disorders and depression and beyond. I completely/wholeheartedly related to her struggle to reach a point in her life where she could be happy, and comfortable loving, appreciating, and accept who and what she is now. I myself am currently on that path to awakening (hence the reason I picked up her book in the first place, well that and the fact that I'm a huge fan of her show and admirer of her dance moves...My goal this year is to get my fat butt into someone's dance class and dance like nobody's watching because I, like her view dance as one of the most amazing and powerful ways someone can express themselves and it's also the only exercise that doesn't feel like exercise to me which is always a plus lol 👍....but...I digress, back to the review). I really do feel like this book was very enlightening for me (and hopefully other women going through similar struggles), I by no means have reached the level of confidence or the no F's given attitude that Whit has when it comes to her weight and the way the world accepts (or rather unfortunately in a lot of cases doesn't accept ) her, but I feel as if reading her struggle and how she has grown as a person from it, knowing that it was similar to my own in the beginning, and seeing the methods, techniques, and thought processes she adopted while on her journey is going is beyond inspirational and I can wholeheartedly say I believe that her story has invoked a fire in me to do the same. I know that the lessons I've learned from this upbeat, witty, inspirational, little book about the life of a " fat girl" is going to be somewhat of a pivotal and influential thing for me and said me in the way that I go forth from now on in my on journey to health, self acceptance, and love💘. I feel that everyone is deserving of what Whit is trying to encourage with the #NoBodyShame movement. It is no where near what many people assume it is, a glorification obesity and unhealthy lifestyles, it isn't that at all and anyone who thinks that's should not only read Her book but also do some research on their own and they will see how uninformed and ignorant they have been. Her message is clear and concisely laid out nearing the end of her book: Everyone deserves to be happy and live life to the fullest no matter what their, race, ability level, or body looks like. And I got one am here for that message 100% and hope that it continues to spread like wildfire across this planet.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 1, 2017
This was definitely not the light and funny comedy memoir I was expecting, but I urge you to read it anyway. Even if you have no idea who Whitney Thorpe is (like me) or refuse to watch reality TV on TLC (like me), you will probably get something out of it.
The book basically covers two main concepts: the times that Whitney struggled with her weight, and how she's learned to accept to love herself. Her problems with her self perception of her weight began when kids teased her an elementary school. I say "self perception" of her weight issues because she was not a fat kid. She wasn't even a slightly chubby kid. She posts pictures of herself from that time and she was thinner than I was, and I never once thought of myself as an overweight kid. But I also didn't have parents who were loudly obsessed with my weight, or peers who teased me for it. Whitney dealt with all of those things from young age. She threw herself into exercising and dieting, and eventually eating disorders. But nothing helped her lose weight, which led to depression and anxiety. Even her parents, who framed their obsession with her weight as supportive and caring, only served to damage her self-esteem further. She talks about everything she tried during this time, and more importantly, how people reacted to their perception of her as a fat person. It wasn't till years later that she finally began to accept herself for who she is, and embrace her weight and her looks.
I absolutely believe that obesity is a huge problem in the United States. And while I totally support body positivity, I do worry that it sometimes excuses people from taking care of themselves. I feel completely differently after finishing her book. She discusses this topic head-on and talks about how her campaign for body positivity is about mental health and physical health -- no matter what size you are. It's about taking care of yourself and fuck the haters. It's really a very very good book and I wish only that it had been longer. She's a funny intelligent person with a lot to say and I highly recommend this memoir.
The book basically covers two main concepts: the times that Whitney struggled with her weight, and how she's learned to accept to love herself. Her problems with her self perception of her weight began when kids teased her an elementary school. I say "self perception" of her weight issues because she was not a fat kid. She wasn't even a slightly chubby kid. She posts pictures of herself from that time and she was thinner than I was, and I never once thought of myself as an overweight kid. But I also didn't have parents who were loudly obsessed with my weight, or peers who teased me for it. Whitney dealt with all of those things from young age. She threw herself into exercising and dieting, and eventually eating disorders. But nothing helped her lose weight, which led to depression and anxiety. Even her parents, who framed their obsession with her weight as supportive and caring, only served to damage her self-esteem further. She talks about everything she tried during this time, and more importantly, how people reacted to their perception of her as a fat person. It wasn't till years later that she finally began to accept herself for who she is, and embrace her weight and her looks.
I absolutely believe that obesity is a huge problem in the United States. And while I totally support body positivity, I do worry that it sometimes excuses people from taking care of themselves. I feel completely differently after finishing her book. She discusses this topic head-on and talks about how her campaign for body positivity is about mental health and physical health -- no matter what size you are. It's about taking care of yourself and fuck the haters. It's really a very very good book and I wish only that it had been longer. She's a funny intelligent person with a lot to say and I highly recommend this memoir.
June 29, 2022
3.5 stars rounded up.
Recently I've read a fair number of books that fall somewhere between "memoir" and "self-help". The author is mostly writing a memoir, but then tends to create lists for the reader to improve their own self-image or their own activism or their own "wokeness" or whatever. Thore manages to deliver a solid memoir that really is a memoir and is at the same time affirming for those with body image issues. She is brutally honest about the negativity and abuse she received even as a child with relatively normal/thin build, all through her adult life struggling with mental illness, weight gain (both related to and not related to PCOS), struggles with weight loss, and finally an acceptance of herself.
The only thing that I struggled with in the book is that her father (and to a lesser extent her mother) were very complicit in many of her early struggles with body image, bulimia, weight loss/gain. Really, her father was clueless to a point that he was abusive. She obviously loves her parents and recognizes that her father's words/actions were because he wanted to see her be her best, but I do feel like she could have done a better job of verbalizing how much his attitude undermined her self-image throughout her life. I think many people with a parent like him would/do ultimately cut ties with them. I admire her for being able to recognize that he is flawed and still love him, but would have liked her to delve a little deeper into how much his negativity could have (and like did) really harm her.
Overall, though, I feel like this is one of the better body image books/memoirs that I have read.
Recently I've read a fair number of books that fall somewhere between "memoir" and "self-help". The author is mostly writing a memoir, but then tends to create lists for the reader to improve their own self-image or their own activism or their own "wokeness" or whatever. Thore manages to deliver a solid memoir that really is a memoir and is at the same time affirming for those with body image issues. She is brutally honest about the negativity and abuse she received even as a child with relatively normal/thin build, all through her adult life struggling with mental illness, weight gain (both related to and not related to PCOS), struggles with weight loss, and finally an acceptance of herself.
The only thing that I struggled with in the book is that her father (and to a lesser extent her mother) were very complicit in many of her early struggles with body image, bulimia, weight loss/gain. Really, her father was clueless to a point that he was abusive. She obviously loves her parents and recognizes that her father's words/actions were because he wanted to see her be her best, but I do feel like she could have done a better job of verbalizing how much his attitude undermined her self-image throughout her life. I think many people with a parent like him would/do ultimately cut ties with them. I admire her for being able to recognize that he is flawed and still love him, but would have liked her to delve a little deeper into how much his negativity could have (and like did) really harm her.
Overall, though, I feel like this is one of the better body image books/memoirs that I have read.
September 3, 2020
Falling in love with yourself, with your body and mind is a lifelong journey and will take time for me master but this book is above and beyond all of that, this book is about acceptance and being sensitive and to top it all its about being happy, truly happy and falling head over heels with life, not a goal but journey.
This book surely bursts some myths-
1. Fat people are lazy. Na na!!
2. Fat people aren't supposed to pose with baring some or whole of their body cause they are misleading the generation into obesity. Really?!!!
3. Fat people aren't inherently healthy. Yes they have health risk associated with the weight but "healthy"... Ooo they are! *Google healthy*
4. Fat people are feminist because they hate men for not liking them back. Grow up... please!!
5. Fat people talking about Body positivity and No body Shame is not promoting obesity just as a skinny person is not promoting mal nutrition, an acid attack survivor isn't promoting acid attacks, a rape survivor isn't promoting rapes. They just want to be happy to be living in their own being, just the way they are "NOW" and not postpone their happiness anymore than anyone else.
This book might not be a complete guide on how to find your way in this not so accepting world but it might lead you to questioning many norms though. Lastly, a shout out to all the Whitney's in the world, hope you find the strength to do it with the lights on someday!! 💞💞💞
This book surely bursts some myths-
1. Fat people are lazy. Na na!!
2. Fat people aren't supposed to pose with baring some or whole of their body cause they are misleading the generation into obesity. Really?!!!
3. Fat people aren't inherently healthy. Yes they have health risk associated with the weight but "healthy"... Ooo they are! *Google healthy*
4. Fat people are feminist because they hate men for not liking them back. Grow up... please!!
5. Fat people talking about Body positivity and No body Shame is not promoting obesity just as a skinny person is not promoting mal nutrition, an acid attack survivor isn't promoting acid attacks, a rape survivor isn't promoting rapes. They just want to be happy to be living in their own being, just the way they are "NOW" and not postpone their happiness anymore than anyone else.
This book might not be a complete guide on how to find your way in this not so accepting world but it might lead you to questioning many norms though. Lastly, a shout out to all the Whitney's in the world, hope you find the strength to do it with the lights on someday!! 💞💞💞
October 11, 2023
Whitney spends a lot of her book detailing how hard her life was because of her weight. Despite this, she details how she's the best in her dance classes, won prom princess, got great grades, worked harder than anyone else, was promoted several times while working in Korea, gets into a highly competitive masters program, and the only people who dislike her are haters. She does have a period where her depression causes her to almost fail out of college but she pulls through and has a 3.5 GPA at the end. She has 2 parents who love and support her, though her Dad says some truly awful things about her weight.
I don't think Whitney is 100 honest with herself or others. I've seen the first season of the show, so my opinion is colored by what I've seen there. PCOS does make it harder to lose weight, but it's not impossible and it certainly doesn't mean you'll be 300+ lbs just by living and eating like most people do. I think she downplays the amount she ate in her depressive episodes and time when she was busy. It also sounds like she's sensitive to salt bc she talks about bloating up for days after a cheat day but they never explore that either.
Whitney is honest that her weight impacts her health but that she chooses to focus on mental/emotional health over trying to have her weight.
Not the worst book that touches on fat activism and acceptance but I don't think Whitney is the best representation anyway.
I don't think Whitney is 100 honest with herself or others. I've seen the first season of the show, so my opinion is colored by what I've seen there. PCOS does make it harder to lose weight, but it's not impossible and it certainly doesn't mean you'll be 300+ lbs just by living and eating like most people do. I think she downplays the amount she ate in her depressive episodes and time when she was busy. It also sounds like she's sensitive to salt bc she talks about bloating up for days after a cheat day but they never explore that either.
Whitney is honest that her weight impacts her health but that she chooses to focus on mental/emotional health over trying to have her weight.
Not the worst book that touches on fat activism and acceptance but I don't think Whitney is the best representation anyway.
May 17, 2017
I love this girl. She is intelligent, funny, and engaging. I wish I could convince the world that body shamming is never okay, in any context. I am happy that Whitney is getting conversations going. I cringe knowing my daughter will face far too many critiques about her body both externally and internally, because women are still being unfairly judged on our appearances. I am doing my best to teach her body positivity because just as Whitney puts it, body positivity is for every body!
I gotta add what I wrote with my fb share. Body positivity is for every body. If you have a knee jerk comment on obesity I recommend reading her book. It is really well done and I think she does a great job with explaining why my first sentence is true. It is a heck of a lot easier to work on one's body and health if you feel positive acceptance of the skin you're in to begin with. I am flabbergasted at the sheer hatred Whitney experiences on the daily because she is fat. Fat shamming is NOT okay, it is a dick move. Body shamming anyone for the skin they're in is NOT okay. See above, dick move. If you can't say something nice about someone, shut the fuck up. Seriously.
I gotta add what I wrote with my fb share. Body positivity is for every body. If you have a knee jerk comment on obesity I recommend reading her book. It is really well done and I think she does a great job with explaining why my first sentence is true. It is a heck of a lot easier to work on one's body and health if you feel positive acceptance of the skin you're in to begin with. I am flabbergasted at the sheer hatred Whitney experiences on the daily because she is fat. Fat shamming is NOT okay, it is a dick move. Body shamming anyone for the skin they're in is NOT okay. See above, dick move. If you can't say something nice about someone, shut the fuck up. Seriously.
February 25, 2025
I found Whitney Way Thore's TLC program, My Big Fat Fabulous Life, about a year ago on Discovery+. I have since watched every single episode.
Growing up, the only representation I saw on television and movies of plus-size bodies were of the typical stereotypes: fat=lazy, fat=dumb, fat=loud, etc. It is really nice that with the creation of the body positivity movement, which Thore was instrumental in from the beginning, television and movies are starting to represent people of all shapes, sizes, abilities, and so on, in a more authentic way.
Thore shares the story of her life leading up to the book's publication in 2016. If you have ever struggled or are currently struggling with your weight, you will be able to identify with a lot of Thore's experiences growing up with the complexities of diet culture, stereotypes, unrealistic expectations, self-confidence, and a slew of other issues faced by those of us who don't live up to society's standards for perfection. Her message comes across loud and clear, that you can and should love yourself; your worth and humanity are not determined by how you look.
Growing up, the only representation I saw on television and movies of plus-size bodies were of the typical stereotypes: fat=lazy, fat=dumb, fat=loud, etc. It is really nice that with the creation of the body positivity movement, which Thore was instrumental in from the beginning, television and movies are starting to represent people of all shapes, sizes, abilities, and so on, in a more authentic way.
Thore shares the story of her life leading up to the book's publication in 2016. If you have ever struggled or are currently struggling with your weight, you will be able to identify with a lot of Thore's experiences growing up with the complexities of diet culture, stereotypes, unrealistic expectations, self-confidence, and a slew of other issues faced by those of us who don't live up to society's standards for perfection. Her message comes across loud and clear, that you can and should love yourself; your worth and humanity are not determined by how you look.
December 31, 2016
This was wonderful. Favorite quote: "I would stop caring what people thought about my body and start living in it." "I want to appreciate my body by recognizing its strengths, capabilities, power, and potential. I want to befriend my body by absolving it of perceived flaws, embrac[ing] my own unique physical beauty. I want to use my body in any way that inspires me . . to wear whatever makes me look good and feel confident . . . to experience everything that life has to offer now, in this body, without apologizing about how much space it takes up or how aesthetically pleasing other people deem it to be.
On learning to listen to your body: ""I found that my favorite [high glycemic index] food sleft me feeling sluggish and sleepy. No calorie counting or oral judgment about 'bad food' was required for me to realize the benefit of traditing refined carbs for protein more often than not."
On learning to listen to your body: ""I found that my favorite [high glycemic index] food sleft me feeling sluggish and sleepy. No calorie counting or oral judgment about 'bad food' was required for me to realize the benefit of traditing refined carbs for protein more often than not."
March 12, 2019
Wonderful read. I personally never watched her show, I do not have PCOS and I am not overweight. I still thought it to be insightful, quirky and very entertaining. Fat-phobia is real. Growing up in the 90's my own mother would fat shame and caused me to feel as a child that the worst thing in life would be to get fat. It caused confusion because at school there were very strong, popular and smart fat kids. I had fat girlfriends in school and I heard the complaints that men only want to use them for sex and never get into a serious relationship. What was wrong with them? Nothing. As she explains in the book, she was overweight but still able bodied and smart! Continue demolishing ignorance. I've met extremely unhealthy skinny people and extremely healthy overweight ones. Image is nothing. Understanding is everything. I am happy for Whitney and all she has achieved in her life. May she continue to do great things in our lifetime. I highly recommend.
December 30, 2020
As soon as I saw that one of the categories was Body Positivity in the #PopSugarReadingChallenge2021, there was NO QUESTION. I've ADORED @whitneywaythore ever since her debut on TLC coincided with my hours and hours spent on the treadmill in my...what was it...third...fourth weight loss journey? Seeing her living her best life was one of the very first times I'd ever been exposed to the notion of loving the body you're in, no matter what it looks like and her #nobodyshamecampaign. I haven't had cable in years and hers is honestly the only show I've really missed, and dearly, but this book was like the happy, encouraging, loving hug and kick in the pants I needed so desperately this year. Maybe, just maybe, I can take all of those little jabs I've heard over the years and, like her, turn them into self love instead of the every growing pool of despair I've been filling more and more as I try to figure out this adulting thing. And, like she emphasizes, it's amazing what happens when you start loving yourself for exactly who you are. 😊 💙
October 31, 2024
Whitney Thore may be polarizing if you know her from her TLC series only. I admit to not really being a regular viewer of her show, but she is very likeable as she appears in her own autobiography. She does not hold back in telling us about her challenges, from body issues growing up, to when she is diagnosed with PCOS, along with the problems of a society that isn't very open minded when it comes to beauty standards and towards plus-size women. But what gets me behind Whitney is her humor and her positive attitude, as seen in her writings. She's another cool narrator who guides us through the challenges as well as nice, fun things. I did like her story of being a teacher overseas, and how well she treated the students and taught them that it's cool to accept other people and be understanding.
Along with her social media posts, this is more of my "bible" to who she is than her TV appearances, honestly.
Along with her social media posts, this is more of my "bible" to who she is than her TV appearances, honestly.
September 9, 2017
A short review. I had never heard of Whitney Way Thore before seeing this book on sale on Audible. I love memoirs, and people really seemed to enjoy this book, and Thore's narration, so I gave it a chance. I can see why people like it so much. For the last chapter alone, this book is worth it. But it's so much more than the last chapter. The book is a glimpse into the development of Thore's acceptance of herself, and it's charming, humorous and important. I enjoyed it very much. It also gave me a lot to think about, and that's always a good thing. Additionally, Thore could do narration for a living. So much life to her clear and compassionate voice. So that's a bonus for the Audible listener.
This one gets a strong 4 rating from me.
This one gets a strong 4 rating from me.
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