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Dirty Deeds #1

Dirty Deeds

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I get paid to erase problems.

Did your extramarital affair produce an unwanted complication? Family problems? Just want to enjoy your midlife crisis by yourself?

That’s where I come in. For a fee I’ll take care of it. A big fee.

Only, I’m not going to do what you think. I’m not going to save you from them, I’m going to save them from you.

208 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 26, 2016

88 people are currently reading
1499 people want to read

About the author

Armand Rosamilia

257 books2,744 followers
Armand Rosamilia is a New Jersey boy currently living in sunny Florida, where he writes when he's not sleeping. He's happily married to a woman who helps his career and is supportive, which is all he ever wanted in life...

He's written over 150 stories that are currently available, including horror, zombies, contemporary fiction, thrillers and more. His goal is to write a good story and not worry about genre labels.

He not only runs two successful podcasts...

Arm Cast: Dead Sexy Horror Podcast - interviewing fellow authors as well as filmmakers, musicians, etc.

The Mando Method Podcast with co-host Chuck Buda - talking about writing and publishing

But he owns the network they're on, too! Project Entertainment Network


He also loves to talk in third person... because he's really that cool.

You can find him at http://armandrosamilia.com for not only his latest releases but interviews and guest posts with other authors he likes!

and e-mail him to talk about zombies, baseball and Metal:

armandrosamilia@gmail.com

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Community Reviews

5 stars
112 (36%)
4 stars
89 (28%)
3 stars
74 (24%)
2 stars
24 (7%)
1 star
8 (2%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 76 reviews
Profile Image for Chad.
Author 89 books742 followers
Read
February 20, 2022
Original premise. Likeable, believable characters. Great start to a series.
Profile Image for Sharon Brownlie.
Author 11 books30 followers
January 29, 2016
I am so glad I nominated Dirty Deeds on Kindle Scout. When I read the excerpts the story interested me a lot. I knew I was in for a good story and I wasn't disappointed.

The story, from the very first line, will keep you hooked. It's fast-paced and has a clear plot. The characters are well drawn and each one have their own peculiarities and imperfections that makes them believable. Armand Rosamilia's main character, James Gaffney is witty, smart and engaging, he is the type of character you want to continue to follow.

Usually I hate cliff-hangers but on this occasion Rosamilia can be forgiven - note to author ...........please don't make it a habit! I know there is more from this author and I can't wait for his next book.
Profile Image for Carl Alves.
Author 23 books176 followers
August 18, 2019
I loved the opening line in this novel. It set the tone for the rest of it, and was absolutely perfect. It was truly one of the best opening lines of any novel I’ve ever read. All right, enough about the first sentence. The rest of the novel was an intriguing, enjoyable read. James Gaffney represents himself as a truly despicable person to his clients. For an exorbitant fee, he will kill your child. In reality, he abducts them and places them with another family. Almost from the beginning of the novel, things unravel for James. He had an FBI agent on his tail, someone hacking his information, a Mafia boss pissed at him because his dead son is no longer dead. Through it all, James has to navigate these hurdles, keep himself alive, and try to do the right thing along the way based on his own moral code.

I really enjoyed the casual writing style employed in this novel. It had an easy going feel to it, and the protagonist narrated in a self-deprecating style. He’s not really a tough guy that one would expect for this type of role. He’s not a good fighter, and doesn’t even carry a gun, although it would probably be a good idea to do so given all of the people trying to kill him. The novel has many twists and turns. The characterization is strong. I guess the one thing that bothered me is that there were people willing to pay lots of money to have their children killed. As a parent, it seems inconceivable. I get that parents kill children, but it seems hard to imagine hiring a hitman to kill them. At any rate, this was a top notch thriller that I would recommend reading.

Carl Alves - author of The Invocation
Profile Image for Sea Caummisar.
Author 82 books1,366 followers
June 23, 2021
This is more mystery than the horror I usually read/ listen to, but I enjoyed this way more than I expected. The first line of the book hooked me. It was something similar to 'I kill kids for money'. And the first scene is dude being hired by a lawyer to kill lawyer's daughter..But there's a twist. He doesn't kill the kids.
The cast of this book reminds me more of a cozy, which I do like a cozy from time to time. The characters are likeable. The story unraveled into more of a mystery than expected. And the voice! OMG! I absolutely loved the voice of this book. He was humorous, yet edgy, yet relaxing at the same time. That's an accomplishment
Profile Image for Hunter Shea.
Author 66 books1,009 followers
February 20, 2022
From the first line to the killer cliffhanger of an ending, I was hooked. I love the whole concept behind our not-so-tough guy, baseball card dealing, child "kidnapping" protagonist. This is not your typical crime novel and that's what makes it so intriguing. The pace never lets up and the stakes get higher and higher. A great read that now has me wanting more. I loaded up the next two books as soon as I was done!
Profile Image for The Behrg.
Author 13 books152 followers
May 15, 2016
"Dirty Deeds" is my first introduction to Armand Rosamilia and, from what I understand, this novel is a departure from his other work which is more horror related. This book caught me completely by surprise, from its first line (definitely in my Top 5 first lines from a novel) to its cast of characters and playful noir-like tone.

And seriously, ask yourself if you can read this line and not want to read more:

"I get paid large sums of money to kill children."

It only gets better from there.

Rosamilia walks the line with the cliches of the genre by first drawing attention to them and then poking fun at them. Yet still, there are enough twists and turns to keep even the most jaded thriller reader in a sense of suspense. Overall, however, it's the main character's charm and self-deprecating attitude that make this little gem of a novel shine. A sequel is something I wouldn't think twice about picking up, it's a given.
Profile Image for Felipe Lerma.
Author 95 books13 followers
Read
January 26, 2016
Perfect launch to the cliff

5 stars easy. Despite the cliffhanger. In this case the advance warning from other reviewers helped.

I was prepared and was only waiting to see if the work was good enough to make the next book worth waiting for. It is. Easily.

I'd commented on the Kindle Scout thread on KBoards, after reading the 5000 word excerpt, that the style felt like a blend of Chandler and Evanovich, two of my favorite writers.

After finishing Dirty Deeds I feel that way more now than then.

The running interior monologue develops from cute-snidey to alert-concerned to much more self aware - fully integrated and interspersed with action, dialog, humor, and danger.

Being a cliffhanger, the novel doesn't have the arc and completeness of my favorite writers, yet.

I very much look forward to seeing if Mr. Rosamilia's follow up book fulfills that promise.
127 reviews7 followers
October 3, 2016
Okay writing with an interesting story idea, but this is a two hundred page cliff hanger. Nothing gets resolved at the end and the writing, to me, is not worth going through the second book, especially since I have no faith that the story will actually be resolved. Very disappointing considering how interesting the premise was.

I actually would have given this book a solid three stars if it hadn't been for the bullshit*t cliffhanger ending.
Profile Image for Ruskoley.
357 reviews1 follower
August 1, 2021
This was one of the more enjoyable and fun reads I have read in awhile. The evening I started reading this, I read the first forty-seven pages and was pretty amused and interested in the storyline. This one started off in media res and moved really quickly! Five pages in, the main character was in the back of a police car.

The concept of this novel (and series) is that the main character is rather one-of-a-kind and the work is unbelieveable. I am so very thankful to have read a novel where there was something unique and new and interesting instead of the usual plots and settings.

Anyway, toward the end of the novel, I felt the storyline was getting a little wonky. I mean, it seemed the main character was spending a lot of time in the backseat of cars being driven here and there after flying to all these cities – but nothing was really happening. Also, some of these cities were in different time zones and some of the timeline just seemed too condensed. I know the author was really trying to press his character – put the squeeze on from a variety of angles and never letting the reader know who the real bad guys were. However, maybe it needed to decompress here and there.

I like the main character. The story is very fast-paced and easy-going. I recommend this to readers who want to enjoy what they read and can be content with popcorn, a Coca-Cola, and an engaging crime novel.
Profile Image for Rebecca.
783 reviews37 followers
January 22, 2018
This story captured my attention from the first line. It's a quick read, humorous, and well-written. James is a likable character, one who's a bit on the wrong side of the law, although his ultimate goal is to save children. It had some twists and left you wondering if he really should be trying to save all these children. It didn't always turn out for the best for him. Be warned, the story leaves you with a cliff-hanger.
Profile Image for Peter Germany.
Author 12 books18 followers
September 7, 2019
Okay, I liked Dirty Deeds a lot. It’s got a good storyline and you get stuck in right at the start but the backstory is beautifully weaves into the book and it never feels like there’s an info dump anywhere. The protagonists voice is really good and the humour that comes with it works really well despite some of the heavy subject matter in the book.
Definitely one is recommend and I’m going to have to bump boom two up on my reading list!
Profile Image for Pheadra.
1,063 reviews56 followers
February 24, 2025
As many reviewers have said the opening line of this story makes the reader want to read on, "I get paid large sums of money to kill children". Unfortunately, the story thereafter dissolved for me into waiting to see what would happen, and nothing did. Very disappointing ending that sadly won't see me reading the sequel. 3 stars
Profile Image for Deedra.
3,932 reviews39 followers
May 8, 2018
Audible:I loved this book!It was smart and engaging.I liked the characters.The abrupt ending means there should be more coming....I sure hope so!Jack de Golla did a great job narrating.I was given this book by the narrator,author or publisher free for an honest review.
Profile Image for Contentmo.
184 reviews12 followers
March 22, 2019
James (what is his real name? ;-) gets paid to take care of problems. Who and how he takes care of them comes as a surprise to the people involved. I liked this book so much, I finished it in 2 days. Can't wait to dive into Book 2 !
Profile Image for Bookish Barbi.
646 reviews41 followers
August 25, 2020
Dirty Deeds is a pretty decent read ya'll.

Dude has people thinking he's doing something illegal, immoral and just wrong on so many level. But the truth is, he's a dam good fella.

The story line is well written and unique. Glad I have the rest of the series on audio.

It's just an overall entertaining book.

Narrator is pretty a cool too.
117 reviews
June 14, 2016
Frustrated reader

Well I was set to give this book, Dirty Deeds a score of 5. However I am disappointed at the ending. I feel as if I were driving to a beautiful destination when suddenly the car is out of gas and no gas stations in sight. Mr. Rosamilia, please in future stories bring your readers a conclusion that is satisfying and looking forward to another adventure with James and Marissa. I like their characters and basic plot lines. Keane and James would make good partners kind of like The Odd Couple on steroids. Looking for a new Dirty Deeds #2. Soon I hope.
198 reviews
October 10, 2016
This is not my usual genre to read. It was a cheap Kindle deal with great reviews. So glad I took the time to read it! It is a very quick, engrossing read.
The story follows a hired children’s assassin, who fakes the victim’s deaths and relocates them to unknowing adoptive families.
It's a first person point of view story from a clever, flawed, funny, and sarcastic lead man. There are a lot of plot twists that leave you constantly guessing. The worst part, the cliff-hanger at the end. On to Book 2 for me!
4.4 stars.
Profile Image for Bonnie.
2,368 reviews8 followers
October 13, 2016
I found this book a bit disappointing. The plot just didn't seem at all plausible and there was too much jumping from place to place.
663 reviews2 followers
September 12, 2018
Great book but best example yet of why I don't like series. Really torn between good reading with an orginal story line and dissatisfaction with it not standing alone.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Michelle Barry.
Author 4 books9 followers
Read
September 8, 2020
"Dirty Deeds" is my first book I've read of Armand Rosamilia.This book caught me completely by surprise. It is awesome!
Profile Image for Jeff.
1,745 reviews165 followers
December 31, 2025
Wild Opening Line Sets Up One Hell Of A Tale. This book has a lot going for it - at barely 200 pages, it is by default a fairly short read. With its pacing, it feels even shorter - even though so much is happening. With its ending... eh, I thought it worked well as a series starter, but I could also see that those claiming it a cliffhanger may have a point. *Maybe.*

But come on. That opening line. That general premise. The fact that our main character's "day job" is so far out of normal experience as to be *less* familiar than being an actual working astronaut. The Atlanta base, and being a long time Braves fan from even the 80s where they absolutely *sucked*, but Dale Murphy proved conclusively why he *should* be in the Hall of Fame. (Come *on*, Baseball Writers of America! Why do you continue the travesty of not allowing Murphy his rightful place in Cooperstown?!?!?)

But yeah, this is one of those absolutely wild "what the fuck" kind of tales that you pretty much just have to grab a tight hold of the rope and hold on as best you can. That this is an entire series of 200 ish page books is *great* for those that find they like this one and are looking for a series of similar short books... for whatever reason. Maybe you're new to reading and just want something fun, something that you can continue for a while. Maybe you're trying to hit a certain number of books read by midnight on December 31 and you're writing this review at 8a with another 3 books in this series to read to get you to 180 books on the year. (Not that I would know anything about this. ;) ) Regardless, this is absolutely a fun book that opens up a wild world that seems like it will be one hell of a ride.

Very much recommended.
Profile Image for Leland Lydecker.
Author 3 books28 followers
February 20, 2018
Dirty Deeds is a crime novel with a twist– and not the kind you’d expect. The protagonist is an aging hitman with a big secret: he spirits away the children he’s been paid to kill, setting them up with an adoption agency that places them with loving new families. Or at least, so he thinks. Unfortunately, things are starting to go wrong for our heroic hitter. He’s been set up, and one of his past targets has tracked him down –and revenge is on the kid’s mind.

Dirty Deeds is easily one of the most enjoyable crime novels I’ve read recently. It’s packed with gritty, believable characters, plot twists, and enough violence to make it feel wholly authentic without turning into a blood bath. This is gripping fare, and Rosamilia’s writing is truly fun to read.

I also didn’t find the ending as jarring as other readers seem to have. The story wrapped up fairly conclusively before the arrival of the hook for the sequel, and it didn’t make me feel that the narrative had concluded without a real ending.

This book has more than earned a five star rating, and I’ll definitely be picking up the sequel in the future!
Profile Image for Alan Asnen.
Author 15 books11 followers
September 15, 2020
What a fun read!
And I don’t say that because I happen to share so much in terms of world-view and taste with the author...
Well, okay, yes I do. But also because it is well-written and a fun read, nicely paced (without so many of the gimmicks too many current writers use to make it SEEM like it is “fast paced” when it really isn’t...) with a lot of depth writers leave out today in order to attract readers looking for something I don’t understand... I don’t know... Read while you’re watching television???
But I get this, I really get this. Writing like the genre is supposed to be...a storm over the plains, rolling and rolling, pelting away with occasional bursts and that vivid roar of thunder every now and then.
That’s the way to do it, man. Knockahoma...
Profile Image for Julie.
937 reviews8 followers
December 28, 2018
I truly enjoyed the plot of this book. What I did not like is the way the very last line ended. The main character is on the phone and is told something that turns the entire plot on its head. The End. To read any more means to buy book 2 in the series. (I think this is a 5 book series).
Granted, the kindle version of these are only 2.99; I just don't like to be hijacked like that. Most series I read at least complete the current plot and the writing is so great the reader wants to continue reading more adventures with the same character. At least the reader has a choice to continue with the series. This is just my own pet peeve--I don't want to be forced to purchase another book.
Profile Image for Stephen Page.
108 reviews10 followers
January 15, 2020
A novel about a person who is taking on jobs to pay the bills—killing people. Moreover, killing children. If that sounds like a book about a sociopathic person, you are wrong. He, the protagonist, is hired by adults who have unwanted children eliminated from their responsibilities. But, and here is the change the reader feels for the hitman, he is actually placing the unwanted children in homes that have parents who want to love and care properly for the children. Thusly, the abhorrent hitman become a sort of hero. A super-hero you might say. The reader then feels empathy for him as he goes through a part of his life covered in the book. Since he is not a perfect person, even has a few vices, he is still empathic but becomes a bit of an antihero super-hero.

A good read.
Profile Image for Heather.
690 reviews1 follower
March 27, 2023
Mystery

This is my first time reading this author. I will probably read more by him.
I'm unsure how to classify the genre. It is definitely a mystery, almost a cozy. It felt like an old time detective story, without the detective. There is also suspense and action.
The characters are likeable. Backstory for the main male character, "James" is still a mystery, although there are clues. James is not an alpha character like I would expect in similar books. It works. I like him.
This book ends with the dreaded cliffhanger. I now need to read the next book for the continued story.
Profile Image for Ann.
1,436 reviews
November 20, 2019
I get paid to erase problems.

Did your extramarital affair produce an unwanted complication? Family problems? Just want to enjoy your midlife crisis by yourself?

That's where I come in. For a fee I'll take care of it. A big fee.

Only, I'm not going to do what you think. I'm not going to save you from them, I’m going to save them from you.

The book was very good but leaves you hanging in the end. Now I have to wait for the next installment
Profile Image for Lucille Bransfield.
1,047 reviews
November 18, 2018
Wow!

Ok...I’m in love with this book. I love the old school mob mentality. I love Chenzo, Keane, Marisa, and especially “James”. Armand made these characters very easy to fall for and like able. I love the baseball references too. I’m so glad i have the next books in the series to keep enjoying.
Profile Image for Ryan.
Author 1 book30 followers
August 8, 2019
A fast-paced, rollercoaster-plot of a crime novel.

While the quick pace sometimes gets in the way of the storyline, jumping from one thing to the next, Rosamilia keeps everything very character-driven which evens this first story out. The series has a ton of potential, and I'm looking forward to seeing what comes next.
Profile Image for Cherye Elliott.
3,397 reviews24 followers
April 8, 2022
A FUN fast paced read!

I found this author's name in Goodreads. I thought...'Not my usual genre, but let's have a go'. Note to self. Always think, listen and do. I did. EXCELLENT, I mean excellent read. Unique. Great story telling skills, his characters grabbed me by collar and threw me in the story.

Did I mention this author has story writing skills? Definitely recommend.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 76 reviews

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