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N.B.
A collection of blog and tumblr entries from 2008-2013.
“I suppose I feel this work is my life, my true life, and everything else is merely preparation, clearing the space and propping up the kindling. My boyfriend always says, ‘It’s not like you have to do this.’ But yes, it is.
Because in many ways, it is everything: my source of amusement and diversion, my recreation, my sex, my identity, the most illuminating form of engagement, the most heightened form of contact. And in the long moments when I’m not primping for or in the middle of or coming down from an appointment—yes, coming down, as with a drug—I feel I am merely awaiting instructions. Or waiting to figure out what else could possibly be as fascinating and worthwhile. Can you see that about it? Even when it’s bad, even when I am uncomfortable or upset, it still seems worthwhile, because it defines my inner life.”
“I suppose I feel this work is my life, my true life, and everything else is merely preparation, clearing the space and propping up the kindling. My boyfriend always says, ‘It’s not like you have to do this.’ But yes, it is.
Because in many ways, it is everything: my source of amusement and diversion, my recreation, my sex, my identity, the most illuminating form of engagement, the most heightened form of contact. And in the long moments when I’m not primping for or in the middle of or coming down from an appointment—yes, coming down, as with a drug—I feel I am merely awaiting instructions. Or waiting to figure out what else could possibly be as fascinating and worthwhile. Can you see that about it? Even when it’s bad, even when I am uncomfortable or upset, it still seems worthwhile, because it defines my inner life.”
371 pages, Paperback
Published December 1, 2015
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
May 1, 2016
This is the collection of the pseudonymous Charlotte Shane's blog as a sex worker (her term is prostitute). It's unique in how raw and immediate it is.
In the first two thirds of the book, Shane presents her early and middle years doing sex work and it is a harrowing tale that would give any father nightmares. She depicts extreme sexual positions, pain, discomfort, and sexual torture with an air of sometimes wounded but defiant bravado. In the last third, she is in more control, yet still occasionally takes johns she shouldn't -- just to prove she can control them. Control is a big theme in this work; for example, she doesn't like pain, but takes on as a sub in order to test herself.
The writing is episodic and, early on, often very disjointed with few clues as to setting and participants. Later, it is still episodic, but more context is given and becomes more reflective, though there is no overall theme to pull the book together. It does, however, depict in brutal honesty the trade of high-priced escort. Money, sex, saps who fall for her, kindness, degradation, philosophy, glamour and adventure. It does get a bit repetitious with certain themes (men calling her beautiful, for example). The last bit (Volume II) is a series of vignettes, with more attention to setting, each with a mini theme -- but all over the map as far as time.
In the first two thirds of the book, Shane presents her early and middle years doing sex work and it is a harrowing tale that would give any father nightmares. She depicts extreme sexual positions, pain, discomfort, and sexual torture with an air of sometimes wounded but defiant bravado. In the last third, she is in more control, yet still occasionally takes johns she shouldn't -- just to prove she can control them. Control is a big theme in this work; for example, she doesn't like pain, but takes on as a sub in order to test herself.
The writing is episodic and, early on, often very disjointed with few clues as to setting and participants. Later, it is still episodic, but more context is given and becomes more reflective, though there is no overall theme to pull the book together. It does, however, depict in brutal honesty the trade of high-priced escort. Money, sex, saps who fall for her, kindness, degradation, philosophy, glamour and adventure. It does get a bit repetitious with certain themes (men calling her beautiful, for example). The last bit (Volume II) is a series of vignettes, with more attention to setting, each with a mini theme -- but all over the map as far as time.
March 2, 2017
I can't even imagine the kind of relationship that the author has with her body, but at the same time so many of her musings and emotions seem familiar and dear, in spite of the lack of shared experiences. A beautiful book.
April 9, 2022
Charlotte Shane is the author of the e-letter Prostitute Laundry (which was also compiled into a wonderful book I equally recommend), and she is one of the most lyrical, vulnerable, brave, honest-feeling writers I’ve read. N.B. covers similar ground as Prostitute Laundry, but draws on even earlier entries from Shane’s blog that’s no longer available online. Each reads like a series of beautiful vignettes on the nature of women’s sexuality, love, and bodily autonomy, unfolding like a series of perfectly composed chronological diary entries. Assembled together, they tell the story of a gifted writer’s early evolution as an artist and young woman. Her insights are relatable but also fearless, recorded so that we all might feel less alone. “I’ve realized I want one man to love me behind everything else,” Shane writes. “I want this love to be my scenery while I do whatever I want on the stage.” I can’t recommend her writing enough.
July 4, 2016
I am a bit of a latecomer to Charlotte's writing - I only happened upon her, I think on Twitter, in 2014? - and since she doesn't tend to archive her work I was very happy she decided to publish N.B., which is a collection of writing from before I knew about her. She is an amazing writer, scarcely a sentence to be found that isn't remarkable. My only complaint about this book is that the entries are "condensed and edited" but I don't feel they've been edited well enough. The prolific typos made it feel very much like I was reading something that was just printed off a blog - which is essentially true - but I feel like if you're going to edit, please *edit*. But lord I feel blessed to be able to read so much of what Charlotte has written and to know there is this level of humanity, and humanness, on the earth.
September 22, 2018
Una de las mejores escritoras de su generación.
July 25, 2020
This is a fascinating portrait of a life of someone who does sex work (high end escort type work), and who also writes, loves yoga, has a screwed up family, etc. It’s about but not just about the experience of sex work, and it’s one of the most...holistic, I guess, and honest portrayals I’ve seen. I love how she shows both the fun, sexy moments, how much she can love the sex and the attention and the money, and the gross and boring and depressing parts. And neither negates the other or somehow makes the choice to do it as her job not a valid one.
It was a little challenging for me how she would often go right from a really explicit sex scene (sometimes written in an evocative and interesting way, but never for the purpose of obscuring what’s going on or making it more “appropriate”) to feelings about her dad or intellectual ponderings, but I think it was good, to be challenged in that way. Why do we see these as completely separate things, you know?
It did feel very much like collected internet ramblings. Which is close enough to a journal that it didn’t feel weird to read in a book format, but I did sometimes wish there was a little more editing (especially, as is often the case with small presses, copy editing, because there was a not-bad but noticeable number of typos).
I will say that there was a certain melodrama, or tendency to say sort of overwrought things (e.g., about her birthday: “No friends sent messages, which is fitting because I am not the type of person who has friends”) that sometimes strike me as Too Much, but I can also see them reading very differently on a tumblr and/or newsletter that she probably never expected to be collected in this way. I think I felt more open to this sort of thing because I liked her and her writing and interesting observations. But it could also be a bit exhausting at times.
It was a little challenging for me how she would often go right from a really explicit sex scene (sometimes written in an evocative and interesting way, but never for the purpose of obscuring what’s going on or making it more “appropriate”) to feelings about her dad or intellectual ponderings, but I think it was good, to be challenged in that way. Why do we see these as completely separate things, you know?
It did feel very much like collected internet ramblings. Which is close enough to a journal that it didn’t feel weird to read in a book format, but I did sometimes wish there was a little more editing (especially, as is often the case with small presses, copy editing, because there was a not-bad but noticeable number of typos).
I will say that there was a certain melodrama, or tendency to say sort of overwrought things (e.g., about her birthday: “No friends sent messages, which is fitting because I am not the type of person who has friends”) that sometimes strike me as Too Much, but I can also see them reading very differently on a tumblr and/or newsletter that she probably never expected to be collected in this way. I think I felt more open to this sort of thing because I liked her and her writing and interesting observations. But it could also be a bit exhausting at times.
February 27, 2016
"At some point I came. At some point I went away." - definitely one of the best couple of sentences with which to end a book.
October 29, 2021
reading this was like scrubbing a bunch of buildup off of my brain lol. clarifying and fearless internal poetry
January 7, 2019
NB is melancholic, curious, bursting with anger and empathy in equal measure. Charlotte Shane has been painfully insightful for a minute now and this collection brings her lyrical, Buddhist-inflected voice to her own experiences as a sex worker (more specifically, a prostitute, as she calls herself). Her perspective and prose are a breath of fresh air.
January 7, 2019
Because everyone that Charlotte Shane writes is so excellent (her prose and her brain are just so good), it’s hard to give this less than 5 stars. Still, ultimately I struggled to get through this bc of a lack of narrative cohesiveness.
January 28, 2018
This collection of Shane’s sexwork memoirs contains her blogposts from 2008-2013 where Prostitute Laundry collects her tinyletter newsletters from 2014-2015. By their nature they are more disjointed than PL giving me an impression of dissolves from one entry to the next.
Shane’s writing here, like always, is powerful and poetic. Her thoughts on need, love, kindness, yoga had me underlining the passages constantly.
Shane’s writing here, like always, is powerful and poetic. Her thoughts on need, love, kindness, yoga had me underlining the passages constantly.
May 24, 2016
fantastically well written! raw, intriguing, respectful, view into the life/mind/psychology of a sex worker, and her clients. the book is a republishing of her blog posts over several years. not my favorite format, but it hangs well together, and there are threads she revisits effectively throughout which I find hard to do with blog posts, but, she pulls it off.
May 17, 2016
an incredible amount of character is depicted in this collection.
because it spans several years you get a glimpse of the ups, blasé, and annoyances. these intimacies make the book feel like a privilege to read.
if you've ever dated a sex worker and have some unresolved feelings, you might find some peace here.
because it spans several years you get a glimpse of the ups, blasé, and annoyances. these intimacies make the book feel like a privilege to read.
if you've ever dated a sex worker and have some unresolved feelings, you might find some peace here.
April 26, 2016
I lost this book about 25 pages before the end. What I did read was great. Memoir? Creative non-fiction? I'm not sure. There is a dreamy quality to it that rides the fine line between truth and reality. Wish I could find my copy to know how it ends.
January 24, 2017
Beautiful.
September 26, 2023
So happy I finally read this! One of my favorite writers.
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews