What do you think?
Rate this book
The Mystery: Finding True Love in a World of Broken Lovers
Love Exists. It's for You--and It's Worth Pursuing
Rock princess Lacey Sturm wants to share her journey from heartbreak to wholeness with young women. In The Mystery, Sturm helps readers understand that any loving relationship begins with knowing your own identity in Christ.
And yet, so many people have learned to define love through their own dysfunctional family, unhealthy relationships, the romances and wrecked relationships of mainstream pop culture, or, sadly, through pornography. Is it any wonder so many people end up brokenhearted, divorced, abused, abusive, or even suicidal?
Through personal stories, Sturm shows readers why true love is difficult and often painful but still worth fighting for. She helps women recognize destructive patterns in their relationships, discover a vision for a true and heart-flourishing love, and heal from past wounds.
For anyone seeking healthy, loving relationships in our broken world, The Mystery lights the way to the love we were meant for.
Rock princess Lacey Sturm wants to share her journey from heartbreak to wholeness with young women. In The Mystery, Sturm helps readers understand that any loving relationship begins with knowing your own identity in Christ.
And yet, so many people have learned to define love through their own dysfunctional family, unhealthy relationships, the romances and wrecked relationships of mainstream pop culture, or, sadly, through pornography. Is it any wonder so many people end up brokenhearted, divorced, abused, abusive, or even suicidal?
Through personal stories, Sturm shows readers why true love is difficult and often painful but still worth fighting for. She helps women recognize destructive patterns in their relationships, discover a vision for a true and heart-flourishing love, and heal from past wounds.
For anyone seeking healthy, loving relationships in our broken world, The Mystery lights the way to the love we were meant for.
240 pages, Paperback
First published October 4, 2016
59 people are currently reading
890 people want to read
About the author
Lacey Sturm
7 books310 followersLacey Sturm (née Mosley) is a mother, wife, writer, speaker, and musician. Originally the voice behind the platinum-selling international rock band Flyleaf, she is now a solo artist. But most of all, she is one of God's works of art, and she wants others to know and understand how special, how beautiful, how kaleidoscopically wonderful we are all made. Lacey speaks for the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association and its Rock the River events. She cofounded the Whosoever Movement and helped begin the RESET movement as one of their key speakers.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 74 reviews
June 13, 2018
FTC DISCLOSURE: I received an electronic copy of this book from NetGalley. A positive review was not required. These are my honest thoughts and opinions.
“Some stuff I liked and related to. Some stuff I hated and couldn’t relate to at all.”
~ Lacey Sturm; The Mystery
Mrs. Sturm summed up my thoughts on her own book. I really liked her aim at purity in relationships and her heart for sharing the love of God with her readers. I disliked the use of expletives in the first half of the book. At times the sentence structure was jumpy and hard to follow, which made reading it more effort than I cared for.
For me, this was an okay book with clearly good intentions. It missed the mark for me, but I think others might appreciate it better and get more out of it than I.
Content:
* expletives
* alcohol
* sexual content, including child abuse
“Some stuff I liked and related to. Some stuff I hated and couldn’t relate to at all.”
~ Lacey Sturm; The Mystery
Mrs. Sturm summed up my thoughts on her own book. I really liked her aim at purity in relationships and her heart for sharing the love of God with her readers. I disliked the use of expletives in the first half of the book. At times the sentence structure was jumpy and hard to follow, which made reading it more effort than I cared for.
For me, this was an okay book with clearly good intentions. It missed the mark for me, but I think others might appreciate it better and get more out of it than I.
Content:
* expletives
* alcohol
* sexual content, including child abuse
October 7, 2016
Lacey Sturm takes you through her journey in finding a true Father and also on finding true love!
Lacey Sturm’s second book takes you through another part of her life that wasn’t told in her first book The Reason. She opens her heart to bring out her experiences on both understanding what a true spiritual father does and also her journey that led her to her husband Josh. The first part of the book is on having a father. Lacey doesn’t recall ever meeting her father and she believed that she never needed one. In fact she felt that if you relied on someone in that role it made you week. But through experiences with a couple that becomes her spiritual parents, she begins to realize that they guide her and coach her, but still let her make her own decisions and lover her regardless.
The second half of the book focuses on her relationship with her husband Josh. Lacey entered into a previous marriage at age nineteen and was divorced by twenty-one. Shortly after that she got tangled up in an emotional affair with a married man that almost led her to take her life. Once she was healed from those experiences, she realized that she could (and should in her opinion) stay single for the remainder of her life. But that wasn’t in God’s plan. Throughout this part, Lacey recounts the trials, successes, and experiences of meeting Josh, his parents, and eventually becoming married.
I really enjoyed reading this book from Lacey Sturm. I always enjoy reading books written by people that I follow in the entertainment industry. Sometimes you like them more, sometimes you don’t, but either way you feel like you get to know them on a more personable level. Lacey does a great job of opening her heart to let people in to share in her experiences and lessons learned. I especially enjoyed the first part of the book that was focused more on a parent. It made me sit back and really evaluate my relationship with my own two boys to see how I was approaching to coach and guide them. I recommend this book to those that may feel trapped in a relationship or searing for guidance.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from Baker Publishing Group in exchange for an honest and thorough review. The views and opinions expressed within are my own.
Lacey Sturm’s second book takes you through another part of her life that wasn’t told in her first book The Reason. She opens her heart to bring out her experiences on both understanding what a true spiritual father does and also her journey that led her to her husband Josh. The first part of the book is on having a father. Lacey doesn’t recall ever meeting her father and she believed that she never needed one. In fact she felt that if you relied on someone in that role it made you week. But through experiences with a couple that becomes her spiritual parents, she begins to realize that they guide her and coach her, but still let her make her own decisions and lover her regardless.
The second half of the book focuses on her relationship with her husband Josh. Lacey entered into a previous marriage at age nineteen and was divorced by twenty-one. Shortly after that she got tangled up in an emotional affair with a married man that almost led her to take her life. Once she was healed from those experiences, she realized that she could (and should in her opinion) stay single for the remainder of her life. But that wasn’t in God’s plan. Throughout this part, Lacey recounts the trials, successes, and experiences of meeting Josh, his parents, and eventually becoming married.
I really enjoyed reading this book from Lacey Sturm. I always enjoy reading books written by people that I follow in the entertainment industry. Sometimes you like them more, sometimes you don’t, but either way you feel like you get to know them on a more personable level. Lacey does a great job of opening her heart to let people in to share in her experiences and lessons learned. I especially enjoyed the first part of the book that was focused more on a parent. It made me sit back and really evaluate my relationship with my own two boys to see how I was approaching to coach and guide them. I recommend this book to those that may feel trapped in a relationship or searing for guidance.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from Baker Publishing Group in exchange for an honest and thorough review. The views and opinions expressed within are my own.
July 14, 2017
Ok I almost balwed my eyes out. Women! READ THIS!
Also I would recommend it for older teen and up though there is some tough content in here and some trigger content for Child abuse, sexual abuse and substance abuse.
Also I would recommend it for older teen and up though there is some tough content in here and some trigger content for Child abuse, sexual abuse and substance abuse.
October 7, 2016
This book is full of lots of wisdom, and is written in such a way that you want to keep on reading just one more chapter.
There were two things that confused me about this book though.
I think you need to know something of the authors life to fully appreciate it. It jumps back and forth in time and as I knew nothing of the author prior to reading i was at times confused. I know she has written a previous autobiography, so perhaps if I had read that first it would have been easier to understand.
Secondly I am not one hundred percent clear who this book is written for, there are notes from the authors mates at the end of each chapter, which include advice to their younger self. This seems like something that younger teens would appreciate,, but I feel that actual content isn't something younger teenagers would fully grasp. So there is a bit of confusion there.
In all I would recommend this book, as it is a great read, especially for older teens or the "students and twenties" age range as I think they would get the most out of reading this.
Many thanks to net galley for a review copy of this book,
There were two things that confused me about this book though.
I think you need to know something of the authors life to fully appreciate it. It jumps back and forth in time and as I knew nothing of the author prior to reading i was at times confused. I know she has written a previous autobiography, so perhaps if I had read that first it would have been easier to understand.
Secondly I am not one hundred percent clear who this book is written for, there are notes from the authors mates at the end of each chapter, which include advice to their younger self. This seems like something that younger teens would appreciate,, but I feel that actual content isn't something younger teenagers would fully grasp. So there is a bit of confusion there.
In all I would recommend this book, as it is a great read, especially for older teens or the "students and twenties" age range as I think they would get the most out of reading this.
Many thanks to net galley for a review copy of this book,
November 15, 2019
The Mystery is a book that I had on my TBR pile for years and, even though I was eager to read it, I never picked it up until recently. Sadly, it was a disappointment to me. I didn't like some of the content in the book and disagreed with other things. Not a book for me or one I recommend.
*Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or services mentioned above for free in the hope that I would mention/review it on my blog. I was not required to give a positive review, only my honest opinion - which I've done. All thoughts and opinions expressed are my own and I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.*
*Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or services mentioned above for free in the hope that I would mention/review it on my blog. I was not required to give a positive review, only my honest opinion - which I've done. All thoughts and opinions expressed are my own and I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.*
November 2, 2016
After reading Lacey's self-biography book 'The Reason', I felt it imperative that I read 'The Mystery' and I'm very glad I did. Lacey takes us through a journey of her life of love, the relationships formed which both break her and help build herself back up again. Not only is it an interesting read but it is inspiring and really makes you consider your own relationships with others from a different point of view.
There was one chapter which really stood out for me, Chapter 15: The Mystery of Many Crowns. Lacey talks how she began to view her heart as a treasure and began to guard it in her various relationships with people. She uses the metaphor of a crown, how she wears different crowns depending on the situation and who she is with to guard certain aspects of her heart. The wearing of no crown would indicate she's free, open and unguarded. I really love the way she described the ways in which leaving your heart unguarded always can be detrimental to both you and others and it was this part which I really felt connected with most.
Even though my religious beliefs are different to Lacey's, I always enjoy reading and listening to her passion for Christ because there is so much unconditional love she has for others, so much zest for life despite all the struggles and strife she has endured and she just wants to spread the love and light to others. I can not speak for anyone else who has read this book, but I know for me, there were many elements in this book which spoke to me and I am sure there are various things which would really speak to others too even if the entire book and its conclusion is not something which they would agree with. Over all though, the journey we accompany Lacey in during this book is something which awakens an understanding within you and I think it was worth the read for her insight, experiences and encouragement as always.
There was one chapter which really stood out for me, Chapter 15: The Mystery of Many Crowns. Lacey talks how she began to view her heart as a treasure and began to guard it in her various relationships with people. She uses the metaphor of a crown, how she wears different crowns depending on the situation and who she is with to guard certain aspects of her heart. The wearing of no crown would indicate she's free, open and unguarded. I really love the way she described the ways in which leaving your heart unguarded always can be detrimental to both you and others and it was this part which I really felt connected with most.
Even though my religious beliefs are different to Lacey's, I always enjoy reading and listening to her passion for Christ because there is so much unconditional love she has for others, so much zest for life despite all the struggles and strife she has endured and she just wants to spread the love and light to others. I can not speak for anyone else who has read this book, but I know for me, there were many elements in this book which spoke to me and I am sure there are various things which would really speak to others too even if the entire book and its conclusion is not something which they would agree with. Over all though, the journey we accompany Lacey in during this book is something which awakens an understanding within you and I think it was worth the read for her insight, experiences and encouragement as always.
February 10, 2018
I'm gonna be honest, I wasn't sure I'd enjoy this book as much as The Reason because I wasn't sure the whole "love and relationships" theme was exactly applicable to me, but boy, was I wrong. Lacey has written another phenomenal book and the wisdom she gives is profound and beautifully expressed. Even if you're like me (single and not looking for a relationship anytime soon), the themes of this book go beyond romantic relationships. Regardless of where you are in life, I highly recommend this book.
December 2, 2017
This is a true story. So I am hereby not rating the events of the story, because, well, it's what happened in real life. Rather I am rating the author's writing style, and ability to present the events which had happened in real life.
Before I get into this review, I really want to thank my good friend Angela (Coffee&Chapters) for recommending me this book. Because this is not something I normally read, and not only did I really enjoyed it, but I also learned a lot from this book. I also want to thank the author (Lacey Sturm) because there is a lot of stuff in this book that was probably hard to write about, let alone share it with other people. But I can say that I think this book will help people to start thinking about the most important stuff in life after reading this book.
As I said I don't normally read these kinds of books. Is not that I don't enjoy them or anything. I think it's probably because I tend to gravitate to fiction books. I also never heard of the author. I read that she was in a rock band called Flyleaf, which I had never listen to. So yea, if my good friend never recommended me this book, I probably wouldn't have picked it up.
Lacey Sturm went through a lot. But this book is not just the record of the events that had happened in her life, but rather how those events led her to a deeper relationship with Christ and how we (the readers) can identify ourselves not as our "orphan identify" but rather the identify that we are loved. That we can live in a different reality, one with our Heavenly Father, the One who loves us. Instead of believing that some things (like love) is costly. Because God gives us His love freely.
Writing Style:
The author writes as if the readers are right next to her. She's tells them what happened to her. The way it is written, her thoughts about God can be applied to other people.
What I Really Liked About This Book:
If the author was to write this book without the viewpoint she had, I probably wouldn't have gotten as much as I have gotten from this book. Sometimes I feel that some books water down the bad sides of life. Yes, I don't want to live in the bad side as much as anyone. But it is good to understand that side as well.
My favorite part of this book is in the second half. When the author gave her whole life to God. She viewed her relationship with God as a marriage, which is the most sacred forms of relationships there is. Viewing God as a husband, she would try to honor him, spent time in His Word, spend time in prayer, give her whole life, and other attributes of that type of relationship.
The author at this point didn't want to get married again (as she was married once and got divorced plus other things). Instead she was intent to just spend time with God. However, later on, after reading a book about courting, she made a list of everything she would like a husband, even though she still didn't really want a husband. She prayed to God about the man she made the list for and basically said that she would be open to it if God wanted her to get remarried.
Soon God answered her prayer with the great man who had most of the points on her list.
I love how she didn't pray that she needed a man, but rather from a humbled viewpoint that "I will if you want me to". And even when she found the man, she didn't pray for that man to fall in love with her, but rather she prayed for his future wife if it was her or not, that whoever God intended to be with him would be the best girl for him.
People these are the kinds of romances that everyone needs! One with God first and foremost, then whoever God provides. (And yes, I do agree with making a list about the things you want in your spouse if you want to get married or not.) Because without love, we couldn't have romance. So first we need to go to the first source of love, the One who created it, God.
Content In Book:
As I said before this is what happened. But I thought it was necessary to talk about the content in this book because of trigger warnings.
1. Mentions of: child abuse, women being abuse, sexual abuse, physical abuse, just abuse in general.
2. Drugs.
3. Thoughts about suicide.
4. Adultery.
5. Divorce.
Who I Would Recommend This Book To:
Christians. Christian women. Non-Christians???
Before I get into this review, I really want to thank my good friend Angela (Coffee&Chapters) for recommending me this book. Because this is not something I normally read, and not only did I really enjoyed it, but I also learned a lot from this book. I also want to thank the author (Lacey Sturm) because there is a lot of stuff in this book that was probably hard to write about, let alone share it with other people. But I can say that I think this book will help people to start thinking about the most important stuff in life after reading this book.
As I said I don't normally read these kinds of books. Is not that I don't enjoy them or anything. I think it's probably because I tend to gravitate to fiction books. I also never heard of the author. I read that she was in a rock band called Flyleaf, which I had never listen to. So yea, if my good friend never recommended me this book, I probably wouldn't have picked it up.
Lacey Sturm went through a lot. But this book is not just the record of the events that had happened in her life, but rather how those events led her to a deeper relationship with Christ and how we (the readers) can identify ourselves not as our "orphan identify" but rather the identify that we are loved. That we can live in a different reality, one with our Heavenly Father, the One who loves us. Instead of believing that some things (like love) is costly. Because God gives us His love freely.
Writing Style:
The author writes as if the readers are right next to her. She's tells them what happened to her. The way it is written, her thoughts about God can be applied to other people.
What I Really Liked About This Book:
If the author was to write this book without the viewpoint she had, I probably wouldn't have gotten as much as I have gotten from this book. Sometimes I feel that some books water down the bad sides of life. Yes, I don't want to live in the bad side as much as anyone. But it is good to understand that side as well.
My favorite part of this book is in the second half. When the author gave her whole life to God. She viewed her relationship with God as a marriage, which is the most sacred forms of relationships there is. Viewing God as a husband, she would try to honor him, spent time in His Word, spend time in prayer, give her whole life, and other attributes of that type of relationship.
The author at this point didn't want to get married again (as she was married once and got divorced plus other things). Instead she was intent to just spend time with God. However, later on, after reading a book about courting, she made a list of everything she would like a husband, even though she still didn't really want a husband. She prayed to God about the man she made the list for and basically said that she would be open to it if God wanted her to get remarried.
Soon God answered her prayer with the great man who had most of the points on her list.
I love how she didn't pray that she needed a man, but rather from a humbled viewpoint that "I will if you want me to". And even when she found the man, she didn't pray for that man to fall in love with her, but rather she prayed for his future wife if it was her or not, that whoever God intended to be with him would be the best girl for him.
People these are the kinds of romances that everyone needs! One with God first and foremost, then whoever God provides. (And yes, I do agree with making a list about the things you want in your spouse if you want to get married or not.) Because without love, we couldn't have romance. So first we need to go to the first source of love, the One who created it, God.
Content In Book:
As I said before this is what happened. But I thought it was necessary to talk about the content in this book because of trigger warnings.
1. Mentions of: child abuse, women being abuse, sexual abuse, physical abuse, just abuse in general.
2. Drugs.
3. Thoughts about suicide.
4. Adultery.
5. Divorce.
Who I Would Recommend This Book To:
Christians. Christian women. Non-Christians???
August 24, 2019
Oh man this book was so good.
Lacey's writing was a little clunky at times, but overall the writing manged to fade into the background and let Lacey's story as an early Christian take the stage. A lot of her thoughts on marriage and being married to Jesus first are things I don't necessarily agree with, but this book was more about the "orphan identity" which really made a lot of sense to me.
On the whole though, unless you're a) already Christian or b) already a fan of Lacey, this book probably won't speak to you very well, but I rather enjoyed it.
Lacey's writing was a little clunky at times, but overall the writing manged to fade into the background and let Lacey's story as an early Christian take the stage. A lot of her thoughts on marriage and being married to Jesus first are things I don't necessarily agree with, but this book was more about the "orphan identity" which really made a lot of sense to me.
On the whole though, unless you're a) already Christian or b) already a fan of Lacey, this book probably won't speak to you very well, but I rather enjoyed it.
Read
January 4, 2024Rating: do not rate memoirs
This book basically goes through Lacey’s journey of searching for love. She ventures through stories of past lovers, how she met her husband and their beginning journey, as well as how God fits into it all. Truly a beautiful read and very inspiring! I would recommend to young adults either searching for love and waiting for a spouse, or to those wondering where God fits in with your love stories/lives.
This book basically goes through Lacey’s journey of searching for love. She ventures through stories of past lovers, how she met her husband and their beginning journey, as well as how God fits into it all. Truly a beautiful read and very inspiring! I would recommend to young adults either searching for love and waiting for a spouse, or to those wondering where God fits in with your love stories/lives.
November 3, 2016
Read my full review over at JesusFreakHideout.com: http://www.jesusfreakhideout.com//boo...
April 17, 2018
I got emotional
March 13, 2020
If you dont believe in god, dont pull the trigger...
September 22, 2019
When I finished The Reason, I was content with knowing all that I did about Lacey Sturm. And then I found out that she was writing more books. So I figured at some point I'd buy them and read them. And I did. It just is taking a lot longer to read them than I planned when I bought them.
I'm reading this as more of a memoir than as a "get closer to God" devotional style book that I'm sure she intended it to be, but it's still good. Maybe a little out of order (at one point, she was telling a story about her son, but she hadn't officially met her husband in the book's timeline yet), but I think it flowed well enough.
There were some things that I can probably relate to more easily than other things. And I think that's how most things go. I don't think anyone relates to every single thing that Lacey Sturm has written about because no two people have the same life story. Similar life stories, sure, but the exact same? not so much. She even admits that she had read a few books about purity and relationships where she related to some things, but not other things.
I kind of related to the "orphan identity" that seemed to be a major theme. I've got the whole "I can do this myself, I don't need God's help" vibes going on.
I also found the idea of the husband list to be completely fascinating. Not in the whole "I'm going to write a list of everything I want in a man and shazam, he's going to show up" way, but in the way of "maybe I need to rethink everything I'm doing in my search for a guy." Not that I'm actively searching (I'm more laissez faire in that regard), but considering traits that are attractive will maybe help me stop talking to the scrubs I keep finding. I've fallen for about six scrubs in the last three years (sweetly referred to as ex-potentials (because I never actually dated them, so they aren't technically ex-boyfriends, I've begun referring to them as thus.)) (and fallen for to various degrees. Most were surface attractions), so something needs to change. I need to sort my priorities. Maybe stopping chasing guys and setting a better standard (back to sticking to my "no boys with hair longer than mine" standard for starters 😂. Hopefully I never again will be fooled by a hipster god.) for myself will make me happier. I'm already pretty good at not actively pursuing dates, but I have to stop falling for any guy who gives me a second of attention.
And, I really enjoyed learning more about Lacey Sturm. I think The Reason was a lot more raw in her depression story, but this was raw in her search for love. There are a lot of different types of love. In school, we learn about eros, agape, and phileo (erotic, unconditional, and brotherly/friendly), so I know it's easy to get lost in the whole love department. We joke about friend-zoning people, but I think so many people get all caught up in attraction to others that they get confused. Heck, I've been caught up in the whole "well, he's cute and nice to me, what if he's got a thing for me?" I've literally been not as nice as I ought to be towards someone because I wanted to discourage him for mistaking my niceness for flirting (because that's what I had thought happened previously with other guys (I've had a lot of useless scrubs that were interested in me, too)), which apparently backfired because people have asked if we're dating. So, once again, a theme resonated with me.
I think the one thing that kind of didn't really feel like it's applied to my life was the prophetic bits, like where Lacey wrote her husband list and then her husband Josh filled all the checks (or at least the major ones she mentioned to us), or where people had dreams that were like visions or something. But, I will admit that sometimes God works in mysterious ways, because it's happened to me. There are literally some days when everything is going wrong and I can't make it out the door when I intend and I say "welp, there must be a reason I'm running late." One time I was going to take my one brother somewhere, and we'd miscommunicated and I discovered late that I was supposed to pick him up instead of him coming by me. So I went to pick him up, and when we came back through, there'd been a car accident and we'd probably have been involved if we'd left any sooner. And another time, I was late for school, but there happened to have been a car accident that must have happened when I had intended to be on my way to school. So I understand it. I always operate on the "it'll work out the way it's supposed to (like God wills it)" mantra, even when things go so wrong I'm ready to throw up my hands and quit everything. Which happens a lot more than you think.
I understand being pushy towards something that may not be what path I'm supposed to be on. I'm always certain that the right thing will come along, but I can be pushy when it comes to what I want to do.
So. In conclusion, I may not have gotten the things out of this book that Lacey Sturm intended for me to get out of it, but I think I got enough out of it for now.
Now to buy that Bride wore White book and make myself a husband list. 😂 Gotta set high standards sometime.
I'm reading this as more of a memoir than as a "get closer to God" devotional style book that I'm sure she intended it to be, but it's still good. Maybe a little out of order (at one point, she was telling a story about her son, but she hadn't officially met her husband in the book's timeline yet), but I think it flowed well enough.
There were some things that I can probably relate to more easily than other things. And I think that's how most things go. I don't think anyone relates to every single thing that Lacey Sturm has written about because no two people have the same life story. Similar life stories, sure, but the exact same? not so much. She even admits that she had read a few books about purity and relationships where she related to some things, but not other things.
I kind of related to the "orphan identity" that seemed to be a major theme. I've got the whole "I can do this myself, I don't need God's help" vibes going on.
I also found the idea of the husband list to be completely fascinating. Not in the whole "I'm going to write a list of everything I want in a man and shazam, he's going to show up" way, but in the way of "maybe I need to rethink everything I'm doing in my search for a guy." Not that I'm actively searching (I'm more laissez faire in that regard), but considering traits that are attractive will maybe help me stop talking to the scrubs I keep finding. I've fallen for about six scrubs in the last three years (sweetly referred to as ex-potentials (because I never actually dated them, so they aren't technically ex-boyfriends, I've begun referring to them as thus.)) (and fallen for to various degrees. Most were surface attractions), so something needs to change. I need to sort my priorities. Maybe stopping chasing guys and setting a better standard (back to sticking to my "no boys with hair longer than mine" standard for starters 😂. Hopefully I never again will be fooled by a hipster god.) for myself will make me happier. I'm already pretty good at not actively pursuing dates, but I have to stop falling for any guy who gives me a second of attention.
And, I really enjoyed learning more about Lacey Sturm. I think The Reason was a lot more raw in her depression story, but this was raw in her search for love. There are a lot of different types of love. In school, we learn about eros, agape, and phileo (erotic, unconditional, and brotherly/friendly), so I know it's easy to get lost in the whole love department. We joke about friend-zoning people, but I think so many people get all caught up in attraction to others that they get confused. Heck, I've been caught up in the whole "well, he's cute and nice to me, what if he's got a thing for me?" I've literally been not as nice as I ought to be towards someone because I wanted to discourage him for mistaking my niceness for flirting (because that's what I had thought happened previously with other guys (I've had a lot of useless scrubs that were interested in me, too)), which apparently backfired because people have asked if we're dating. So, once again, a theme resonated with me.
I think the one thing that kind of didn't really feel like it's applied to my life was the prophetic bits, like where Lacey wrote her husband list and then her husband Josh filled all the checks (or at least the major ones she mentioned to us), or where people had dreams that were like visions or something. But, I will admit that sometimes God works in mysterious ways, because it's happened to me. There are literally some days when everything is going wrong and I can't make it out the door when I intend and I say "welp, there must be a reason I'm running late." One time I was going to take my one brother somewhere, and we'd miscommunicated and I discovered late that I was supposed to pick him up instead of him coming by me. So I went to pick him up, and when we came back through, there'd been a car accident and we'd probably have been involved if we'd left any sooner. And another time, I was late for school, but there happened to have been a car accident that must have happened when I had intended to be on my way to school. So I understand it. I always operate on the "it'll work out the way it's supposed to (like God wills it)" mantra, even when things go so wrong I'm ready to throw up my hands and quit everything. Which happens a lot more than you think.
I understand being pushy towards something that may not be what path I'm supposed to be on. I'm always certain that the right thing will come along, but I can be pushy when it comes to what I want to do.
So. In conclusion, I may not have gotten the things out of this book that Lacey Sturm intended for me to get out of it, but I think I got enough out of it for now.
Now to buy that Bride wore White book and make myself a husband list. 😂 Gotta set high standards sometime.
January 29, 2023
Was recommended this by a friend and will probably not be taking her advice again… The writing was so cringe, there was no real structure and it suddenly become a book about romance and ‘American’ purity culture?! The purpose of the book got completely lost half way through, I do not recommend.
April 2, 2022
There are so many good quotes in this book, that I had to put a few in my review.
"You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage, but [God] is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself." C.S. Lewis, pg. 11
Within the first few pages of this book, I'm finding things that bring up questions in my own mind about myself. Lacey mentions an 'orphan heart'--a heart that rejected love, wanted to owe no one, and filtered the lens with which you view yourself by thinking that you either are a burden or that you don't want to be a burden. I don't know that I'd ever thought about myself having an orphan heart, but it did make me question whether or not I dealt with things with an orphan mentality, instead of the mentality I should be having as a daughter of God.
"The enemy of your soul will always send along someone inappropriate to meet a need that is unmet in you." Pg. 19
What an excellent point!
"It turns out that if you learn to be a good son, then you have the potential to be a great father." Pg. 50
"When our journey is over, the only thing measured will be our relationship to him." -Eric Patrick, pg. 51
"Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love." -Fyodor Dostoyevsky, pg. 72
"How much of me do I let out? All of me all the time, to all people? I used to think the artistic, free answer was yes. But as I become emotionally healthy, I realized that the deeper and wiser answer is no. There's a special beauty to remaining hidden to most, revealed to some. This type of beauty is powerful. The ability to reserve your heart, out of love for yourself, and honor for the God who made you. The gift of your friendship, romance, or child's or parent's heart becomes so much more valuable to the one you choose to give it to." Pg. 134-135
One of the things I loved about this book was that Lacey talked about learning to be faithful and honoring before we ever marry someone instead of having to learn all those things when we are married. I've been thinking about this so much lately. Lacey says that some important things that are helpful to learn before we get married are things like training ourselves to have self-control, to flee sexual immorality (even if it is rude or awkward to cut yourself out of a situation you don't need to be in), and to learn to stay faithful before marriage. These are signs of maturity, I think. You're setting yourself up for a successful marriage when you pursue these things, I believe.
This is one of those books that is a great resource for people who have any sort of relationships, not just the romantic ones. Lacey talks about different types of relationships, like mother/father, enemies, and brothers/sisters, and what types of boundaries and relationships she has with these people. I found this section of the book really helpful, as sometimes I am not sure how I should be relating to someone or if I should be relating to them at all (like if that's not where I'm supposed to be and/or someone else is supposed to be connecting with that person instead of me.)
I really loved getting to hear about Lacey's love story and how her husband and herself treated each other with such honor and respect while they were dating and continuing that into their marriage as well. It is a beautiful love story!
I think a lot of those reading this book will find themselves nodding their heads and talking with God about the things in this book. It's like counselling, teaching, and a good sermon all in one.
This is one of those books that I want to buy for all kinds of people, it's just that good.
5 out of 5 stars.
"You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage, but [God] is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself." C.S. Lewis, pg. 11
Within the first few pages of this book, I'm finding things that bring up questions in my own mind about myself. Lacey mentions an 'orphan heart'--a heart that rejected love, wanted to owe no one, and filtered the lens with which you view yourself by thinking that you either are a burden or that you don't want to be a burden. I don't know that I'd ever thought about myself having an orphan heart, but it did make me question whether or not I dealt with things with an orphan mentality, instead of the mentality I should be having as a daughter of God.
"The enemy of your soul will always send along someone inappropriate to meet a need that is unmet in you." Pg. 19
What an excellent point!
"It turns out that if you learn to be a good son, then you have the potential to be a great father." Pg. 50
"When our journey is over, the only thing measured will be our relationship to him." -Eric Patrick, pg. 51
"Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love." -Fyodor Dostoyevsky, pg. 72
"How much of me do I let out? All of me all the time, to all people? I used to think the artistic, free answer was yes. But as I become emotionally healthy, I realized that the deeper and wiser answer is no. There's a special beauty to remaining hidden to most, revealed to some. This type of beauty is powerful. The ability to reserve your heart, out of love for yourself, and honor for the God who made you. The gift of your friendship, romance, or child's or parent's heart becomes so much more valuable to the one you choose to give it to." Pg. 134-135
One of the things I loved about this book was that Lacey talked about learning to be faithful and honoring before we ever marry someone instead of having to learn all those things when we are married. I've been thinking about this so much lately. Lacey says that some important things that are helpful to learn before we get married are things like training ourselves to have self-control, to flee sexual immorality (even if it is rude or awkward to cut yourself out of a situation you don't need to be in), and to learn to stay faithful before marriage. These are signs of maturity, I think. You're setting yourself up for a successful marriage when you pursue these things, I believe.
This is one of those books that is a great resource for people who have any sort of relationships, not just the romantic ones. Lacey talks about different types of relationships, like mother/father, enemies, and brothers/sisters, and what types of boundaries and relationships she has with these people. I found this section of the book really helpful, as sometimes I am not sure how I should be relating to someone or if I should be relating to them at all (like if that's not where I'm supposed to be and/or someone else is supposed to be connecting with that person instead of me.)
I really loved getting to hear about Lacey's love story and how her husband and herself treated each other with such honor and respect while they were dating and continuing that into their marriage as well. It is a beautiful love story!
I think a lot of those reading this book will find themselves nodding their heads and talking with God about the things in this book. It's like counselling, teaching, and a good sermon all in one.
This is one of those books that I want to buy for all kinds of people, it's just that good.
5 out of 5 stars.
October 25, 2016
Lacey Sturm is a rocker girl. She was the front person for Flyleaf and is known for not only her lyrics and rocker voice but that she was an atheist who became a believer.
Her newest book release, The Mystery: Finding True Love in a World of Broken Lovers is a story of her life. The good, the bad, the ugly and a bit more ugly. It’s a story of hope! Of redemption and of coming out of an ~orphan identity~ that makes us think that we don’t have a Father who loves us and care for us.
Lacey shares her story and others who are also brave share theirs. One of my favorite parts of the book is when Lacey showcases one of her Heroes….and they write a letter to the reader. It’s always written with the thought of what they would tell their younger self and about the hope, grace and love that they have found in Christ. It’s personal and raw….true sincerity.
Throughout Lacey’s journey, she discovers True Love in Jesus Christ. She allows us, the reader to go on this wild and crazy journey of highs and deep valley lows with her. Lacey is inspiring and her words will encourage you, no matter if you are on the highest hill or deep in a valley in your life right now.
I didn’t know who Lacey Sturm or Flyleaf was before opening the pages of this book, but I’m so glad I got a glimpse into this young lady’s life. What a journey. What a testimony!
Her newest book release, The Mystery: Finding True Love in a World of Broken Lovers is a story of her life. The good, the bad, the ugly and a bit more ugly. It’s a story of hope! Of redemption and of coming out of an ~orphan identity~ that makes us think that we don’t have a Father who loves us and care for us.
Lacey shares her story and others who are also brave share theirs. One of my favorite parts of the book is when Lacey showcases one of her Heroes….and they write a letter to the reader. It’s always written with the thought of what they would tell their younger self and about the hope, grace and love that they have found in Christ. It’s personal and raw….true sincerity.
Throughout Lacey’s journey, she discovers True Love in Jesus Christ. She allows us, the reader to go on this wild and crazy journey of highs and deep valley lows with her. Lacey is inspiring and her words will encourage you, no matter if you are on the highest hill or deep in a valley in your life right now.
I didn’t know who Lacey Sturm or Flyleaf was before opening the pages of this book, but I’m so glad I got a glimpse into this young lady’s life. What a journey. What a testimony!
March 13, 2018
I really loved this book! It definitely dealt more with the relationships with God, yourself, and how to build relationships with others like Lacey did with her friends and eventually her husband all through the grace of God. It was interesting to find out that Lacey went through some hard times again after initially being saved from suicide in the first book and I love how open and vulnerable she was about it. None of us are perfect even when we trying to become better Christians we can still be faced with tough times or tempted in relationships. I enjoyed The Reason more than this book because it just felt more relevant to myself but this was also a great book to pick up if you need ideas on how to build relationships while God is still your number one focus and how to balance it. And to also think about God even when you are beginning to like someone and go back to his word and what he wants for our lives. Great book even if you are single too!!
June 5, 2019
Lacey speaks to my heart in a way that few can. It's as if she has a special insight into how my heart and mind work. I actually can't find the words to express it sometimes. I have always been infatuated a little by the darkness, for lack of a better word. I hold tightly to the melancholy and the "weirdness" that exists in my heart and soul. I cringe at fitting in and at being "normal" or fitting some stereotype of a Christian. But sometimes this causes me to resist the light. To hold on to things I shouldn't and to not love in the ways that I should. It's a constant battle. And Lacey gives me so many revelations in all of her writings. Her love for God surpasses anyone I've ever known and she makes me want to have that too. She is truly inspiring and I hesitate to say that because I know it would make her uncomfortable. I just hope she knows what an impact she has had on my life, and still does, daily.
September 29, 2016
The Mystery: Finding True Love in a World of Broken Lovers is a book about finding faith, written by the lead singer of the band Flyleaf, Lacey Sturm. Sturm talks about how [possible spoilers ahead!] she felt like an orphan - and even got a substitute father figure through church - but ultimately found the best Father figure through her relationship with Jesus Christ. The book also chronicles how Sturm built a healthy romantic relationship after severing an emotional affair with a married man.
Calling a book "authentic" may not have much meaning, since how does a reader know whether a new memoir is truly authentic or not? But the book certainly feels authentic - and personal, and true. It feels like the author is showing readers that God can and will deliver them, even at the lowest times in life.
*I received this book for review*
Calling a book "authentic" may not have much meaning, since how does a reader know whether a new memoir is truly authentic or not? But the book certainly feels authentic - and personal, and true. It feels like the author is showing readers that God can and will deliver them, even at the lowest times in life.
*I received this book for review*
November 27, 2016
"The Mystery, Finding True Love In A World of Broken Lovers" by Lacey Strum is a memoir about the author's relationships and finding true love thru it all. You might know the name of the author as she is a Christian musician. This book was ok as it seemed to not flow very well. I think what really got me was I would get into reading her story and then in between some chapters she would have notes from her heroes that just did seem to add to the book for me. Also I really did not need all the deep down details of her emotional affair she had with a man. Maybe it will help someone but for me it was just too much information. Overall it was not a bad memoir about the relationship part of the authors life. So in other words I recommend it but interesting read.
I was given this book for free from BakerBooks and was not required to give a review.
I was given this book for free from BakerBooks and was not required to give a review.
June 28, 2017
So.....
1) I think its one of the books you have to read between the lines. Doesnt matter if you are religious or not, its a story of a lonely, empty and sad soul, who founds a way to make herself happier. If you dont like to read about God, just read the things she tells about her life. You might even find that your life is not as bad as it can be. But just so you know, alot of thing she says about faith/Jesus starts making sense only when you start thinking more about it. It doenst have to be in a religious way.
2) Her story is still shocking. Everything she has been through and seen. Just wow.
3)Lacey+Josh = Epic romantic love story
4) Its creepy how much I can see myself in her old/younger version. Gives me hope that one day maybe I can find my way out of this cold emptiness as well.
1) I think its one of the books you have to read between the lines. Doesnt matter if you are religious or not, its a story of a lonely, empty and sad soul, who founds a way to make herself happier. If you dont like to read about God, just read the things she tells about her life. You might even find that your life is not as bad as it can be. But just so you know, alot of thing she says about faith/Jesus starts making sense only when you start thinking more about it. It doenst have to be in a religious way.
2) Her story is still shocking. Everything she has been through and seen. Just wow.
3)Lacey+Josh = Epic romantic love story
4) Its creepy how much I can see myself in her old/younger version. Gives me hope that one day maybe I can find my way out of this cold emptiness as well.
July 10, 2020
I absolutely love this book and would recommend it to any single Christian girl. Finished reading it for the second time and I’m sure there will be a third!
June 8, 2018
Reading this book was difficult. Not because Lacey is not a good writer (she is very clear and concise), but because it forced me to look within myself to understand what she said. I picked up this book expecting it to be yet another book on Christian dating. What I got a was a journey through my own heart. I had to evaluate the way I make relationship with others and how those relationships compare to my relationship with God. I would recommend this book to anyone, but be forewarned, God will use it to change your perspective on every relationship (romantic, platonic, etc.) you have ever had
January 25, 2019
lacey sturm does a great job of conveying her shift from a self-labeled adulteress divorcée to a woman happily married and without “daddy issues”—but what i think the book could have done better is weaving the two morals together. i thought it was a book about how to rely on jesus to fill you up with love so it confused me when she kept talking about her spiritual father. if i had known she had more than one point to her message from the start, it would have been a lot less confusing to read. still, i liked it. a simple yet effective message.
July 19, 2018
I like her music much better.
For me the writing was decent, but not great quality. I suppose I was expecting a better quality of the written word from a songwriter.
While I liked the second part of the book much better, especially when she discusses the importance of boundaries, I had a hard time finding a connection. Which is strange because I do find that connection when I hear her songs. I feel like her music and her writing are coming from two separate directions.
For me the writing was decent, but not great quality. I suppose I was expecting a better quality of the written word from a songwriter.
While I liked the second part of the book much better, especially when she discusses the importance of boundaries, I had a hard time finding a connection. Which is strange because I do find that connection when I hear her songs. I feel like her music and her writing are coming from two separate directions.
October 14, 2016
I received this from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. This is a brilliantly written book. Especially for any Christian woman who is confused and doubting her faith. I did have a bit of trouble with the timeline in parts. It might help to read her first book. Overall this covers divorce, single life, and faith in a beautiful way.
November 20, 2016
Are you questioning your faith? Are you little confused? This book covers a ton of topics from divorce to being single and your faith all in amazing loving way. Not pushy or judging. She brings you through her personal life. This would be great for teens and adults alike. I would have paid for this but got it on a honest review.
February 7, 2017
This book came to me in a time in my life when my ideals of love and romance have been warped. Lacey Sturm presents a clear picture of romance and true love in it's purest form and what it's always been meant to be. All those who have been cut, bruised, and scarred by broken lovers and now carry broken hearts will begin to find healing and wisdom in this book.
January 30, 2017
This book was very thought provoking and written in such a way that you feel you have just sat down to have coffee with her. I love the details of the process of life. She is so transparent and her details have really settled in my heart and have begun a deeper dialogue with God that I had not previously allowed to occur. Loved this book. So thankful for this woman and her story.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 74 reviews