I've read a lot of books but rarely write reviews. I only take time out of my day to write a review when I have strong feelings about a book. I have to love it or hate it, and after reading this book I definitely have strong feelings and opinions about it.
A family member of mine kept telling me how great this book is, and every time I spoke to her she'd ask if I'd read it yet. I didn't want to tell her that I just couldn't bring myself to read a book with such a terrible title: "Magic Kingdom For Sale--SOLD!" Really? It sounds like a children's book (I later realized the language used in the text is NOT suitable for children). If that's the best title the writer could come up with, how much worse would the book itself be?
Several months went by, then I received an email from my family member stating she'd purchased the book for me and it was on its way. "Crap!" I thought. "Now I'll HAVE to read it." Several more months went by--several more months of my family member asking if I'd read the book, several more months of me making excuses not to. Finally I sucked it up and decided to get it over with.
I gave this book the old college try. I really did. I don't like wasting my time, so when I open a book I commit to liking it until proven otherwise. I read approximately 200 pages, and this is hands-down the worst book I have ever read. I think it's only the second book I've ever started and didn't finish. I was 200 pages in and the story STILL hadn't started. It's unbearably tedious and boring. I actually found myself groaning things like, "Ugh, for God's sake, can you PLEASE get on with it already!" aloud as I read. It was chapter after chapter of routine minutiae described ad infinitum--stuff like "He brushed his teeth, rinsed his mouth, then dried the water off the counter. He dressed in his favorite suit and snugged the tie tight against his throat. He poured himself a cup of coffee, two sugars and one cream, and stirred it slowly as he looked out the window. He walked back into the bedroom and put on his shoes, the black ones, lacing them up one at a time. He grabbed his briefcase, his wallet, and his cell phone as he opened the door, locking it behind him." UGH! Obviously this isn't actual text from the book, but the real text is just as bad if not worse.
I am truly baffled by the four and five-star reviews this book has received. I recommend holding on to your money; don't waste it or your time. New York Times Bestseller? That's stunning. STUNNING. And now Warner Brothers is making a movie? Hopefully the movie will have decent special effects to distract viewers from the terrible plot.
UPDATE: 4/16/17
Okay, I decided to give the book another go. It was a gift, after all, and I thought perhaps enough time had passed since I initially tried to read it that I'd start with a fresh slate.
This time I listened to the audiobook version.
What can I say? I was 2:04:33 seconds into the book before the story really started. Two hours, four minutes, and thirty-three seconds of absolute nothingness--time I can never get back. Luckily, I listened as I drove to and from work, something I have to do anyway, so it wasn't a complete loss.
This book is awful. The main character isn't likable, and there is nothing that makes me want to read the next book in the series. I'm also not a fan of the narrator.
So far I've listened to 3:57:42 seconds of the book and have 10:33:44 left. I will finish listening so I can tell my family member I read the book, which was purchased for me as a gift, but ... yeah. I don't recommend it. Too many good books out there, too little time for subpar writing.
FINAL UPDATE: 4/23/17
I FINALLY finished this book. Ugh, torture. Pure torture.
The main character acts more like a petulant, ill-tempered child than a king. He's quick-tempered, rude, unkind, and prone to outbursts. Nothing likable about him, which makes the entire story hard to swallow because everyone in the book loves him.
Hated it. Worst book I've ever read ... but I finished it anyway! LOL