2.5 stars
Overall this wasn't great, I don't think most of the authors really got River's voice down. Some of the stories I truly didn't care about, and River Song is one of my all time favourite characters so to read stories of her that I feel don't do her justice is not a fun experience.
I don't know who they get to write these Doctor Who novels but they're never very good. Fanfiction writers can have better grasps on the characters!
But anyway, here are my mini reviews of each short story:
- - - - - - - - - -
Picnic at Asgard - ⭐️⭐️
This was odd. It felt like young River, with her anxiety around asking the Doctor for anything and there wasn’t really any of the flirty banter we see when their relationship is more established. It never said it was Eleven / Matt Smith but it had to have been, this read like an awkward early date, haha. I thought River even considering having a child out of character, she’s too busy killing people and digging things up and flying across space to worry about a baby.
It read like someone who has watched the Eleven/River episodes maybe once or twice but never delved deep into who the characters really are and their relationship dynamic. I can say that because I watched it religiously from 2010-2013 and have written and read my fair share of fanfic for these two. 🙈😅
I found a word missing from a sentence, and another word at the beginning of sentence that should have been capitalized but wasn’t.
Suspicious Minds - ⭐️⭐️✨ {2.5 stars}
I feel like I don’t have any strong feelings on this one. It was perfectly fine, a quick little romp with the Doctor and River on an adventure. 🤷🏼♀️ Felt kinda like the X-Files movie with the wasps and creepy building holding them all. But it wasn’t that memorable. I think I liked it better than Picnic at Asgard though!
A Gamble With Time - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Oh this was absolutely brilliant!!! I loved it. Steve Lyons has absolutely got young River’s voice and sass and sarcasm down, the flirting with Eleven was perfect, I found myself grinning through all of their interactions.
It felt like a really good mini in-between adventure they had, when Amy and Rory weren’t with the Doctor or literally just a moment in time between episodes. It felt like RTD-era Who, which Matt Smith’s run doesn’t but I liked that! It was a fun take on the characters and totally believable, like you can’t tell me this didn’t happen, haha.
Death in New Venice - ⭐️
I didn’t like this one at all. It didn’t really feel like River and I didn’t care about the story or the characters, and just read it to get through it. By far the worst one of the book.
River of Time - ⭐️⭐️
This one was okay. I think River’s voice was right, and I can see this having happened to her at some point in her life.
What struck me as bad though, was a couple times where high necked tops were said to be “not a good look for any culture” which felt I dunno, a lil racist??? And there was a weird reference to when she was Amy and Rory’s friend Melody as a kid/teen/young adult but it was like a throwaway, “that one time I was black” line that I just thought was unnecessary??? The sentence was literally, “I spent three years back on Earth as a management consultant, back when I was young and black.” And I dunno, that was wholly unnecessary to include, in my opinion. Rubbed me the wrong way to just randomly include that she was Black once, when it made no difference to the story.
The Silence were also referred to as “The Silents,” which is incorrect. If you’re going to make reference to other Doctor Who things you should make sure it’s right, because readers will know when it’s not. 🙄
FAVOURITE QUOTES
Picnic at Asgard
“I stepped out in front. 'Excuse me,' I said, in a voice I have known to get excellent results. Were you planning to join in the funeral pyre ritual later? Because if you weren't, I'd be quite happy to facilitate it.”
“The sun suddenly set above our heads in a million glowing shades of pink and purple streaking across a golden sky. As the stars popped out above us, thousands and thousands of tiny candles lit themselves, until the amphitheatre was a glittering fairyland and a collective 'ooo' could be heard from the crowd. I realised we were holding hands, but we weren't running.”
"They say a psychopath cannot imagine the world any other way but their own. That their version of reality is the only one that matters to them. They are so wrong about me."
Suspicious Minds
"'Humans are animals,' the Doctor interjected, without putting his hand up. It was just an aside. Of course, I knew he was referring to their taxonomical classification rather than being rude, but it's more fun pretending to take offence. 'Human wife sitting right next to you!” I pointed out. And would you deny, River, that you can sometimes be a bit of an animal? Ah, compliments will get you anywhere.”
"I fought harder against the all-consuming calm, desperately struggling to reach the surface again. I whispered his name under my breath, over and over, a mantra to keep me afloat."
"My eyes snapped open. I stared at the thing I was holding. A hand of bone in my hand of flesh. More bones leading away from it, still attached, arm bones that folded in on themselves, clattering to the ground as I hurriedly let go of the hand."
"I pushed the peace out of my mind and replaced it with anger. Anger at being taken from my parents. Anger at the life stolen from me. Anger at the people who'd made me what I am. (I'd like to say "what I was'. But I can never be entirely sure.) Anger at a universe that allowed this to happen. Perhaps, even, anger at the Doctor, because loving him might make life so much better, but it made it oh, so much harder too."
A Gamble With Time
"We returned to the place where - if you'll pardon my own mangled tenses, Dear Diary- it had all been about to begin."
River of Time
"Professor Forcade bought us down to a shaky landing near a cluster of artificial domes. These were coloured in various shades of red, yellow and blue, making them look against the dusty monochrome landscape like carnival balloons at a funeral."