Relaxed & Forward: Relationship Advice from Your Horse

by Anna Blake

Do you still watch those old horse movies that you’ve seen a dozen times, just for the scenes of the horse galloping in slow motion? Do you hold your breath just a bit?
It’s because horses embody so much more than muscle and bone. They evoke a full range of emotions like hope and courage and valor. They can gallop straight to you with neck arched and tail flagged, and then instantly melt to a stop—just to share your breath.
We’ve been besotted with horses since they had three toes. From the popular Relaxed and Forward blog comes training advice combining the everyday fundamentals of dressage with mutual listening skills. Blake writes with a profound respect for horses and an articulate voice for humans, blending equal parts inspiration and un-common sense. It’s serious training communicated with humor and lightness, because horses like cheerful riders.
Most riders want to build a better relationship with their horse. These short essays are geared as much toward encouraging a positive training attitude as well as useful technique. Blake’s writing uses clear descriptions, storytelling, and humor to inspire meaningful, positive communication. Less correction and more direction. Horses are honest; they answer us in kind. If we want a better response, a more fluid conversation and relationship with a horse, riders have to be the ones to change first. The other word for that is leadership.


By the author of Stable Relation, A Memoir of One Woman’s Spirited Journey Home, by Way of the Barn.


“Excitement and delight surge through me every time I see Anna Blake's name as an author. Her writing is filled with deep understanding and heart connection, seasoned with a lively dash of humor. Reading her work is like giving myself a gift...one I can open again and again.” --Kim Walnes, winning USET Three Day Eventer, Riding Instructor/Trainer, and Life Coach.

Genres: Horses, Nonfiction

308 pages, Mass Market Paperback

Published January 17, 2016

About the author

I’m an animal advocate, award-winning author, solo RV traveler, old-school feminist, dog companion, unabashed lover of sunsets, and professional horse trainer/clinician. I’m sixty-nine years old. I’ve done just about everything and done it well. No longer auditioning.

My books include:

Stable Relation, A memoir of one woman’s spirited journey home.
Relaxed & Forward: Relationship advice from your horse.
Barn Dance, Nickers, brays, bleats, howls, and quacks: Tales from the herd.
Horse Prayers, Poems from the prairie.
Going Steady, More relationship advice from your horse.
Horse. Woman. Poems from our lives.
Undomesticated Women: Anecdotal Evidence from the Road

I was born in Cavalier County, North Dakota, in 1954, the youngest daughter in a farm family. Now I live at Infinity Farm, on the flat, windy, treeless prairie of Colorado with a herd of reprobates, raconteurs, and our moral compass, Edgar Rice Burro. Previously, I was a self-employed goldsmith, showing one-of-a-kind artwork in galleries from coast to coast. My Denver studio and gallery was shared with generations of good dogs.

Early writing included a few screenplays, one of which was produced independently, and articles for several periodicals. Every Friday since 2010, I have posted an unconventional and popular blog about life on the farm and horse training. My unique perspective combines Calming Signals and Affirmative Training for a special method of understanding, training, and respecting animals.

Thank you for stopping by.

Reviews

[Bethany · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book if full of relevant, sensitive, and insightful essays about the human-horse relationship. It is full of ah-ha moments that can alter your perspective in ways that transform your riding. This is a book you can return to again and again to find inspiration and guidance when new challenges arise with your horse. Come to terms with your flaws as a human and find new ways to treat your horse with respect and go further because of it. You'll grasp the importance of laughter, breathing, and patience in developing and deepening your relationship with your teammate. You'll find yourself hearing quotes from the book playing in your head when you get in the saddle, and your horse will be ever so grateful.

[Diana Lancaster · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s so rare to find a book so delightful and insightful. I learned, loved and laughed throughout. I can hear the voice of wisdom Anna Blake shares as I ride and I know my horses appreciate it. Even though I am a trail rider and she is a dressage trainer, the concepts are valuable to any riding style. Read it. You won’t be sorry and your horses will thank you.

[Gabriela De rbg · Rating 5 out of 5]

Perfect!

This book is the perfect combination of "that's exactly what happened to me" and "oh! I never thought of that!"...
A must read for any type of rider...

[Goele Lousbergh · Rating 4 out of 5]

I like good writing, literary and horsey quotes and thinking about horse training. This book did not disappoint. Even more so: it made me dream of one day becoming a gray, wise, writing mare on a ranch with rescues myself. You are my kind of (horse)woman, Anna.

(I hereby volunteer to edit her next book and guarantee less typos and no essay twice in the same book ...)

[Kathy Warner · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a must read for horsemanship. It is filled with heartwarming stories, guidance, and reminders of what is important when in the saddle .

[Rebecca · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has given me so much to think about for my riding, and for my relationship with horses. All good things. The review would have been five stars, but it is a little repetitive (as these started as blog posts, I think) and maybe a little, teeny bit preachy--but not about helmets--everything she said about helmets is good!

[Charty · Rating 4 out of 5]

A horse friend bought me this book when I was struggling with my relationship with my horse of seven years. She had found Anna Blake and become interested in her training philosophy for her own horses and thought I might find something of value for myself. I’ve appreciated the insights I’ve been exposed to through this book, and hoping I can apply some things in my relationship with my new horse. It’s not a prescription or a set of rules so much as a philosophy or way of approaching your work with horses so if you are expecting a step by step guide, this is not for you.

Anna writes with a lot of compassion for horses - it’s really the focus of everything. You don’t become a good leader for your horse by being impatient, negative and picking fights and finding faults.

I think my biggest take aways have been the importance of just breathing. It’s amazing how it can release tension, calm situations, give you and your horse a beat to consider thoughtful next steps instead of blindly rushing into an act you may regret.

Anna writes humbly, too. She’s not afraid to share her own faults and mistakes which makes it a little easier to follow her advice. She has compassion for the frailties of her fellow humans and most of all she reminds of why we are with horses in the first place - that love we developed that’s never gone away, even if years of experiences may have pushed it to the back of our minds.

This book is really a collection of Anna’s blog posts, so each one is a small, digestible morsel of advice, wisdom and reflection which makes it easy to pick up and put down as your time allows. It’s not a linear narrative which for me, made it harder to get through but I can see where the bit size chunks are really perfect for today’s distracted brains and split attention.

Anna’s current passion is dressage and as a reformed dressage rider myself I both appreciated and rolled my eyes a bit at some of the parts but don’t let that put you off because it’s really advice that applies to anyone that’s lucky to have a horse in their life.

[fruitbatwoman · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is not so much a guide to "how to ride horses", but rather a collection of short essays and blog posts from the author, touching on different kinds of topics revolving around horses. The main focus is always how horses communicate with humans and how we often misunderstand them. A very insightful and touching read with a lot of food for thought and opportunities to reflect one's behavior towards those amazing animals, both in the saddle and out of the saddle.

[Kate Flourish · Rating 5 out of 5]

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[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read for any rider. So well written with short essays on how our horses think and how we as riders are generally perceived by our horses. The author is very knowledgeable of horse behavior and human behavior and artfully weaves the words into our (horse and human) mutual goal of harmony and safety.

[Mary Kay · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was great having my husband back after separation a year ago this have brought happiness in my life,this have always been what I have always wished for in my life and I got it so easy through the help of
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[Grace LaPlante · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book for riders looking to improve relationships with their horse(s). Each chapter is short, but packed with insights and tips in a very readable way. Loved this book!

[Tricia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great insights!

The author has great insights written with humor and compassion for horses.
I love her compassion for both rider and horse.

[Jo-jean Keller · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book! It's full of wonderful snippets of workable, easy to remember and apply tips. Many of them, I've heard before but love the approach and application in Relaxed and Forward.

[Kate Gordon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant writing. So thought provoking. Loved being inspired to think about my horse and my relationship with him with fresh ideas.

[OnceUpon · Rating 2 out of 5]

Wonderful compilation of the author's insightful and inspirational blog posts. I use the book as a frequent devotional to the art of riding and horsemanship, finding helpful advice and motivation in the stories and analogies. It's helping me become a better rider and to understand my horse more.

[Jessica Deva · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic.

One of the best books on horses and riding I've read in years. Highly recommended. I'll be giving this book to my trainer!