Blinded by Hope: One Mother's Journey Through Her Son's Bipolar Illness and Addiction

by Meg McGuire

One day a teenage boy gets on his bike and rides forty miles up California’s Pacific Coast Highway to avoid causing an earthquake he fears will endanger his mother and sister. But the quake he is experiencing is not coming from beneath the earth; it’s the onset of bipolar illness.
Blinded by Hope describes what it’s like to have an unusually bright, creative child―and then to have that child suddenly be hit with an illness that defies description and cure. Over the years, McGuire attributes her son’s lost jobs, broken relationships, legal troubles, and periodic hospitalizations to the manic phase of his illness, denying the severity of his growing drug use―but ultimately, she has to face her own addiction to rescuing him, and to forge a path for herself toward acceptance, resilience, and love. A wakeup call about the epidemic of mental illness, substance abuse, and mass incarceration in our society, Blinded by Hope shines a light on the shadow of family dynamics that shame, ignorance, and stigma rarely let the public see, and asks the How does a mother cope when love is not enough?

Genres: Nonfiction

236 pages, Paperback

Published June 6, 2017

Reviews

[Cathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

page 190 "To be an addict is something of a cognitive acrobat. You spread versions of yourself around, giving each person the truth he or she needs--you need actually--to keep them at a remove." page 196 "You never know how much your desire to help can turn into enabling". This book is really insightful into the addict's world and the profound effect it has on the addict's family. It made me realize how confusing dual diagnosis is as well. I thought Ginny put it out there clearly when she said to Meg, on page 155, "You're not going to like what I'm going to say, but I've got to say it. You are destroying everyone's life to save one."

[Kathleen Pooler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Meg McGuire’s memoir stands out a case study about the insidious nature and deleterious impact of bipolar illness and addiction upon families. From the very beginning of the relationship where a son, Ryan, was conceived to the divorce, McGuire’s crisp and graphic prose guided me through the periods of torment, confusion and hope experienced by a young woman of the 70s.

As Meg sets out to live her life as a single parent of two children, we see a loving mother of a normal, active boy who loves to skateboard and play music and a quieter younger sister in the background. In her own words, “ I didn’t associate creativity with a mood disorder”, she foreshadows ominous things to come. The story then slowly and painfully unfolds as changes become apparent in Ryan. A mother’s instinct is usually to see the best in her child and although Meg is acutely aware of these changes, she shows the reader how agonizing it is for a mother to accept that anything bad is happening. The hope she feels for Ryan serves as a cloak of denial about the seriousness of his illness. The denial sets up a cascade of enabling behaviors as Meg struggles to maintain her sanity in the midst of Ryan’s escalating behaviors.

The reader sees the power addiction and mental illness have over not only the addict but the entire family. She shows that no matter how much we love our children, helping them when they are in active addiction often escalates their behavior. She then guides us through to a hopeful, yet realistic ending, stating “I still struggle to find compassion for my powerlessness in the face of his challenges.”

It is through her honest and raw writing that we see the face of addiction, the price to be paid and the compassion and love of a mother who never gives up hope. She delivers on her question, “How does a mother cope when love is not enough?”

This is a powerful memoir that shines a light on the dually-diagnosed addict and his family. It will provide guidance and hope to anyone who loves an addict.

[Rebecca Valentine · Rating 4 out of 5]

I can't say I liked this book. I quite hated it, but only because it hit so close to home. Ms. McGuire writes openly and honestly about life with a son who struggles with the dual diagnosis of addiction and bipolar illness. As I read, I felt like she was holding up a mirror to my own life in many ways. This I appreciated not because her book gave me hope--we moms of addicts have more than enough of that--but because it comforted me to know that I am not alone--in my struggle, my grief, my sorrow, my guilt, my longing for something better for my son. I have long wanted, even needed, to write my own story, but have held off for fear of alienating my son. But writing it down...sharing our stories...it is how we heal. Meg McGuire is brave.

This book could have been edited and proofed more thoroughly. That probably bothers me more than most, but it does affect the finished product.

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Once I picked up this book I had a hard time putting it down. Though it spans the whole adult life of the author instead of focusing on a handful of years like most memoirs, the vast amount of time and events covered in the course of that time are all relevant to the big picture and artfully paced. Meg McGuire's hindsight is bravely honest as she examines her own role in her son's life, and sometimes probably a bit too hard on herself, which I could relate to as a mother. Her insights at the ends of some of the chapters added to the intrigue and foreshadowed some of the lessons she would learn later as the story went on. The repeatedly challenging incidents are relatable to so many who have a loved one with a mental illness and/or drug addiction. McGuire also addresses the fascinating concept of codependency in her recount. I liked the way she ended the book as well. This memoir is a gift to mothers everywhere.

[Blagica · Rating 5 out of 5]

Blinded by Hope: One Mother's Journey Through Her Son's Bipolar Illness and Addiction by Meg McGuire is a book that everyone should read. I want to thank the author publisher and Netgalley for my advanced copy and for allowing me the opportunity to go on this tough journey. I have been a woman who has struggled with living a normal life for 29 years. I believe that everyone who has struggled and every parent should read this. Addiction is a hard enough to wrap your head around I can’t imagine adding mental illness to the crazy equation. This is a heart wrenching book that I feel everyone should read. I hope the author does some kind of fallow up. I have cried bonded and cheered for ryan that I need to know how he is doing.

[Jennifer Melnyk · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think that every mother can relate to what this author is going through, to some extent. A mother's love knows no bounds.

My uncle was a heroin addict from the age of 16 until his death at 52. While he was never diagnosed as being bipolar, like Ryan, the parallels of addiction are there. The lying, the stealing, his mother continuing to help him even when confronted by the fact that her help is actually ENABLING him...

I missed out on having an uncle because of heroin. I hope that Liz's children don't suffer the same loss.

Thank you to NetGalley for providing me with an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Laurie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is certainly an eye-opening book that every single parent, as well as anybody should read to learn about drug addiction and also bipolar disease.
The quote to hear : "To be an addict, is to be something of an acrobat . You spread versions of yourself around, giving each person the truth he or she needs- you need, actually- to keep them at a remove."
A tough book to read, but well worth it.

Thank you to netgalley for plowing me to read and provide an honest review.

[Vnunez-Ms_luv2read · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a sad subject matter but a very good read. Sometimes hard to digest but, nontheless, very valuable book. The subject matter is a mixed bag of issues, mental illness, incarceration, etc, and it lets us get a view of how these things can effect a family. But what this book showed me was that a mother's love for her child has no bounds. Thanks to NetGalley, the author and the publisher for the advanced reading copy of this book in return for my honest review.

[Pat Parkhurst · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to Goodreads and the publisher for this book. I read it in one sitting.... while I assumed either a 'good' ending or 'bad' ending..... deep down I knew there would be neither. I applaud the author for her honesty on her difficult and painful journey. We, as a society need to step up and demand more comprehensive care, especially with dual-diagnosis.

[Jana · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found the book itself to be quite interesting to read, but can't help but wonder if it wouldn't be more "important" to bring own voices up when it comes to mental illness, rather than the family.

[Christine McCloud · Rating 4 out of 5]

A compelling read, that mostly reads like a journal. The only thing I wish she wrote more about is where she arrived mentally by the end of the book, and how she would have come to that particular conclusion, as well as any loose ends she still may have had.

[Susan Tiberghien · Rating 5 out of 5]

An authentic appraisal of a family member's illness and addiction, beautifully written