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Wasted: An Alcoholic Therapist's Fight for Recovery in a Flawed Treatment System
Psychotherapist Michael Pond is no stranger to the devastating consequences of alcoholism. He has helped hundreds of people conquer their addictions, but this knowledge did not prevent his own near-demise. In this riveting memoir, he recounts how he lost his practice, his home, and his family—all because of his drinking. After scores of visits to the ER, a tour of hellish recovery homes, a stint in intensive care for end-stage alcoholism, and jail, Pond devised his own personal plan for recovery. He met Maureen Palmer and together they investigated scientific alternatives to the rigid abstinence doctrine pushed by 12-Step programs.
410 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 21, 2016
50 people are currently reading
298 people want to read
About the author
Michael Pond
4 books10 followersMichael Pond is a psychotherapist practicing in West Vancouver who specializes in mental health and addictions and is now four and a half years sober. He offers individual, family, and group therapy and has become an expert in residential school abuse healing and addiction recovery. He writes the biweekly "Professional Advice" column in the Vancouver Sun.
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July 29, 2019
This is not a review but is based on an interview I had with the author. It was originally published in the Georgia Straight newspaper.
Many people who struggle with drugs or alcohol fail to fully grasp the extent of their addiction until years after they have gotten clean and sober. But Michael Pond knew exactly what he was doing.
Pond took note when he missed days at work. He understood how severe his problem was when he was forced to leave the Penticton home he shared with his wife and three sons. Months were spent binge-drinking in roadside motels. Eventually, he ended up on a bus to Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside. Broke and homeless, he bounced between recovery homes in Surrey and neighbouring suburbs, finally landing in a cell at Fraser Regional Correctional Centre in Maple Ridge.
“I knew what was happening,” he told the Straight at a coffee shop in North Vancouver, roughly six years later. “I knew what was going on, all the time. There was always this sense of, ‘I know what’s coming; I know what this is.’ ”
Pond is a psychotherapist with more than three decades of experience, both in an institutional setting and in building a successful private practice. By the time his life began to fall apart in the mid-2000s, he had helped hundreds of addicts like him.
Pond’s inability to help himself is recounted with painful honesty in the second edition of Wasted: An Alcoholic Therapist’s Fight for Recovery in a Flawed Treatment System, coauthored by Pond and CBC News veteran Maureen Palmer. The two combine the objectivity of their respective fields to bring unique clarity to the crowded genre of addiction memoirs.
“As I carry my prize [a bottle of vodka] inside, I spy baby spiders crawling up the kitchen wall,” Pond writes. “As I move to swipe them away they disappear.”
Pond had been a drunk for years by that point in the book. But his medical training remained intact, allowing him to conduct “mental status exams” on himself.
"Appearance and behavior: Patient is unshaved and appears underweight. He is gaunt with dark circles under his eyes. Psychomotor agitation, restless and agitated. Upper extremities tremulous.
Speech: Slurred and muffled.
Mood and Affect: Depressed, anxious, and fearful.
Thought content and process: Guilt, self-recrimination, shame. Suicidal ideation. Poor concentration.
Perceptions: Visual, tactile hallucinations.
Orientation: Disoriented to time.
Sleep: Poor.
Appetite: Poor.
Insight: Fair:
Judgement: Poor.
DSM-5 Diagnosis: Alcohol Use Disorder – Severe; Withdrawal Delirium."
On January 21, a documentary adaptation of Wasted is scheduled to appear on CBC’s The Nature of Things. (There's also an accompanying website featuring an interactive guide for people seeking help with an addiction.) While most of the book is spent on Pond’s darker days, the bulk of the episode focuses on the next steps in his journey.
“Everyone in Mike’s life told him to go to AA,” David Suzuki says as the documentary’s narrator. “But Mike kept failing the program. And he’s not alone. In fact, Alcoholics Anonymous doesn’t work for most people.” Only about one-third of addicts enrolled in AA remain sober after one year, Suzuki notes.
At the café, Pond acknowledged that western medicine categorizes addiction as a disease and health-care professionals generally insist they treat it like one. But, he continued, it’s his experience that doctors’ and therapists’ actions are often very different from their words.
With Palmer sitting alongside him, Pond recounted how for two years he saw an addictions specialist weekly and not once did that expert suggest a pharmaceutical solution to help with his addiction.
Going back further, to the time he spent in the Lower Mainland’s unregulated recovery homes, Pond recalled abuse and shame inflicted on him for the symptoms of his disease. He emphasized the counterintuitive logic of an instance when he was punished for taking Ativan, a drug that was prescribed for him specifically for symptoms related to alcohol withdrawal.
“With any other illness, you’d be hospitalized,” he said. “You would get compassionate care. But because it is addiction, you are kicked out the door.”
Palmer interjected: “The key to getting away from that psychosis is to sleep,” she said. “He needed his brain to heal. And I think there are so many alcoholics and drug addicts trying, in those first horrible couple of months, and if they had…some of these other drugs, it would be easier. Why do they have to white-knuckle it?”
The documentary reveals a world of treatment options that the majority of addictions therapists don’t understand and refuse to recommend.
Gabapentin and topiramate, for example, are anticonvulsants that act on the brain’s reward pathways in ways that could be useful in managing an addict’s cravings. There’s also a slow-release injectable form of naltrexone (better known by its brand name, Vivitrol), a synthetic drug used to blunt the addictive effects of alcohol and opioids such as heroin. Vivitrol is not approved for use in Canada, and in the film Pond and Palmer travel to the United States for a monthly injection.
Palmer said doctors remain reluctant to treat an addiction to one drug with a prescription for another. But she argued that there exists an overlooked mountain of evidence showing pharmaceuticals can complement traditional therapies like those deployed in Alcoholics Anonymous meetings.
“I’ve taken some flak,” she said, “about shilling for the pharmaceutical industry, like it will just be another way for these guys to make money. But we wouldn’t say that about heart medication or any other medication.”
Pond expressed greater impatience.
“People are dying,” he said. “People are dying that don’t have to.”
Many people who struggle with drugs or alcohol fail to fully grasp the extent of their addiction until years after they have gotten clean and sober. But Michael Pond knew exactly what he was doing.
Pond took note when he missed days at work. He understood how severe his problem was when he was forced to leave the Penticton home he shared with his wife and three sons. Months were spent binge-drinking in roadside motels. Eventually, he ended up on a bus to Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside. Broke and homeless, he bounced between recovery homes in Surrey and neighbouring suburbs, finally landing in a cell at Fraser Regional Correctional Centre in Maple Ridge.
“I knew what was happening,” he told the Straight at a coffee shop in North Vancouver, roughly six years later. “I knew what was going on, all the time. There was always this sense of, ‘I know what’s coming; I know what this is.’ ”
Pond is a psychotherapist with more than three decades of experience, both in an institutional setting and in building a successful private practice. By the time his life began to fall apart in the mid-2000s, he had helped hundreds of addicts like him.
Pond’s inability to help himself is recounted with painful honesty in the second edition of Wasted: An Alcoholic Therapist’s Fight for Recovery in a Flawed Treatment System, coauthored by Pond and CBC News veteran Maureen Palmer. The two combine the objectivity of their respective fields to bring unique clarity to the crowded genre of addiction memoirs.
“As I carry my prize [a bottle of vodka] inside, I spy baby spiders crawling up the kitchen wall,” Pond writes. “As I move to swipe them away they disappear.”
Pond had been a drunk for years by that point in the book. But his medical training remained intact, allowing him to conduct “mental status exams” on himself.
"Appearance and behavior: Patient is unshaved and appears underweight. He is gaunt with dark circles under his eyes. Psychomotor agitation, restless and agitated. Upper extremities tremulous.
Speech: Slurred and muffled.
Mood and Affect: Depressed, anxious, and fearful.
Thought content and process: Guilt, self-recrimination, shame. Suicidal ideation. Poor concentration.
Perceptions: Visual, tactile hallucinations.
Orientation: Disoriented to time.
Sleep: Poor.
Appetite: Poor.
Insight: Fair:
Judgement: Poor.
DSM-5 Diagnosis: Alcohol Use Disorder – Severe; Withdrawal Delirium."
On January 21, a documentary adaptation of Wasted is scheduled to appear on CBC’s The Nature of Things. (There's also an accompanying website featuring an interactive guide for people seeking help with an addiction.) While most of the book is spent on Pond’s darker days, the bulk of the episode focuses on the next steps in his journey.
“Everyone in Mike’s life told him to go to AA,” David Suzuki says as the documentary’s narrator. “But Mike kept failing the program. And he’s not alone. In fact, Alcoholics Anonymous doesn’t work for most people.” Only about one-third of addicts enrolled in AA remain sober after one year, Suzuki notes.
At the café, Pond acknowledged that western medicine categorizes addiction as a disease and health-care professionals generally insist they treat it like one. But, he continued, it’s his experience that doctors’ and therapists’ actions are often very different from their words.
With Palmer sitting alongside him, Pond recounted how for two years he saw an addictions specialist weekly and not once did that expert suggest a pharmaceutical solution to help with his addiction.
Going back further, to the time he spent in the Lower Mainland’s unregulated recovery homes, Pond recalled abuse and shame inflicted on him for the symptoms of his disease. He emphasized the counterintuitive logic of an instance when he was punished for taking Ativan, a drug that was prescribed for him specifically for symptoms related to alcohol withdrawal.
“With any other illness, you’d be hospitalized,” he said. “You would get compassionate care. But because it is addiction, you are kicked out the door.”
Palmer interjected: “The key to getting away from that psychosis is to sleep,” she said. “He needed his brain to heal. And I think there are so many alcoholics and drug addicts trying, in those first horrible couple of months, and if they had…some of these other drugs, it would be easier. Why do they have to white-knuckle it?”
The documentary reveals a world of treatment options that the majority of addictions therapists don’t understand and refuse to recommend.
Gabapentin and topiramate, for example, are anticonvulsants that act on the brain’s reward pathways in ways that could be useful in managing an addict’s cravings. There’s also a slow-release injectable form of naltrexone (better known by its brand name, Vivitrol), a synthetic drug used to blunt the addictive effects of alcohol and opioids such as heroin. Vivitrol is not approved for use in Canada, and in the film Pond and Palmer travel to the United States for a monthly injection.
Palmer said doctors remain reluctant to treat an addiction to one drug with a prescription for another. But she argued that there exists an overlooked mountain of evidence showing pharmaceuticals can complement traditional therapies like those deployed in Alcoholics Anonymous meetings.
“I’ve taken some flak,” she said, “about shilling for the pharmaceutical industry, like it will just be another way for these guys to make money. But we wouldn’t say that about heart medication or any other medication.”
Pond expressed greater impatience.
“People are dying,” he said. “People are dying that don’t have to.”
August 19, 2023
The autobiography of Canadian recovering alcoholic Mike Pond has been one of the best books I have ever read. Mike Pond takes us on his journey from having his own thriving psychotherapy practice, to being homeless on the downtown east-side of Vancouver, to learning how to live again with his recovery. He exposes the truths and struggles of trying to recover in an extremely flawed treatment system.
Throughout the book, Mike doesn't make the best decisions but you can't help but root for him and notice his heart. He essentially becomes his patients. Every relapse and plot twist makes you red with anger and frustration, most likely having to put the book down to evaluate the circumstances. The on-going psychological assessments Mike does for himself help illustrate his mental, emotional and physical decline in a direct timeline. "Wasted" is a major page turner and the capturing writing style is thanks to his co-author (now wife) Maureen Palmer.
Though, thankfully, I can't directly relate to what Michael Pond was going through, it gave me much needed insight. Insight everyone should have into the lives of addicts and alcoholics.
I believe anyone suffering from addiction or alcoholism would benefit greatly from this book as it is a story of hope, albeit a painfully realistic rendition. A story of hope that exemplifies the difficulties of climbing up from rock bottom and re-humanizing yourself into society.
Throughout the book, Mike doesn't make the best decisions but you can't help but root for him and notice his heart. He essentially becomes his patients. Every relapse and plot twist makes you red with anger and frustration, most likely having to put the book down to evaluate the circumstances. The on-going psychological assessments Mike does for himself help illustrate his mental, emotional and physical decline in a direct timeline. "Wasted" is a major page turner and the capturing writing style is thanks to his co-author (now wife) Maureen Palmer.
Though, thankfully, I can't directly relate to what Michael Pond was going through, it gave me much needed insight. Insight everyone should have into the lives of addicts and alcoholics.
I believe anyone suffering from addiction or alcoholism would benefit greatly from this book as it is a story of hope, albeit a painfully realistic rendition. A story of hope that exemplifies the difficulties of climbing up from rock bottom and re-humanizing yourself into society.
February 17, 2017
I fell for this book, hard. Already a fan of the "misery memoir" genre (I believe tough stories need to be told and heard), I was onboard immediately. In some cases, authors have great stories to tell and subpar writing abilities - but Mike Pond and Maureen Palmer found a perfect blend of captivating, heart-breaking storytelling and effective, eloquent writing.
The ups and d0wns of Mike Pond's (psychologist and addict) journey are tangible and heart-wrenching. I cried when he relapsed. I cried (in joy) when he made progress. I was completely caught up, couldn't put the book down. It's still by my bed, even though I've finished reading it. I recommend it furiously to anyone who will listen.
Although a bit dry, the second part of the book details evidence-based treatments for addiction, alternative to AA and traditional "abstinence only" schemas. It's an important message and worth the read.
The ups and d0wns of Mike Pond's (psychologist and addict) journey are tangible and heart-wrenching. I cried when he relapsed. I cried (in joy) when he made progress. I was completely caught up, couldn't put the book down. It's still by my bed, even though I've finished reading it. I recommend it furiously to anyone who will listen.
Although a bit dry, the second part of the book details evidence-based treatments for addiction, alternative to AA and traditional "abstinence only" schemas. It's an important message and worth the read.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 13, 2016
this book is so important for anyone interested in psychology, addiction, mental illness, and eating disorders. it is such a crucial and critical look at how treatment (or lack thereof) can and usually does cause devistating effects on the individuals suffering from these disorders. Mr. Pond's experience is so true to that experienced by so many and hoops insight on psychology as a science and good understanding of how the brain is affected by not only the disorders but by the horrible treatment that is usually found by individuals seeking help for their addictions. definitely a must read for everyone.
September 11, 2016
Insightful look into the mind of an alcoholic. Author a social worker and Psych Nurse who had a practice in Penticton as a psychotherapist. Lost the practice, his wife and children, his lifestyle, his self respect, etc... Ended up on streets in Vancouver. Tried a myriad of conventional treatments. Interesting to get author's perspective on these treatments, including AA. Found a drug called Vivitrol,. It helps to curb cravings and agitation. Rarely used in Canada.
Also a chapter on family training - Learning to see how the spouse and family have power and influence with the partner with a substance abuse disorder.
Also a chapter on family training - Learning to see how the spouse and family have power and influence with the partner with a substance abuse disorder.
February 23, 2016
The story of Michael Pond appeared on the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation’s documentary program The Nature of Things. But it is in the book where we see Pond’s true story comes through. He had been a psychotherapist dealing with other people struggles when he lost control of his drinking. We read as Pond describes in simple terms how he lost his practice, his home and eventually the support of his friends and family. We read his struggles through assorted therapies and group homes to help him yet he continually fails, spiraling him deeper into shame.
http://tinyurl.com/jns2xdw
http://tinyurl.com/jns2xdw
June 6, 2018
Powerful read
This book provided insight into the depths of the world of alcohol addiction. This is the first book I've read that gave me a real understanding of what an individual might experience. It also provided an alternative look at treatments outside of AA. I found that I am guilty of some of the associated biases related to addiction, without intending to have done so. I highly recommend this book if you are someone who works with individuals dealing with addiction and you are struggling to find solutions or understanding of why they just can't stop.
This book provided insight into the depths of the world of alcohol addiction. This is the first book I've read that gave me a real understanding of what an individual might experience. It also provided an alternative look at treatments outside of AA. I found that I am guilty of some of the associated biases related to addiction, without intending to have done so. I highly recommend this book if you are someone who works with individuals dealing with addiction and you are struggling to find solutions or understanding of why they just can't stop.
May 29, 2017
I'll be honest: before reading Wasted I harboured a LOT of prejudice and misguided assumptions about alcoholism and addiction. Which is crazy since I know recovered alcoholics firsthand. But I needed the raw truth, the unflinching low points, and the proffesional opinion of Pond to make me realize my own biases. I feel like this book made me a more empathetic person and better ally for those who struggle with addiction.
January 2, 2017
Pond offers us an unflinching and honest account of his years' long struggle with alcoholism, his attempts to get sober, and his experiences within the recovery community and the "system". This book didn't necessarily shed new light on any concepts for me, but it further reinforced that alcoholism is still shrouded in shame, stigma, and blame, unlike other diseases. Even within the recovery community itself, abuse runs rampant. Pond and his journalist partner, Maureen, ended the book with an effective critique of the recovery systems of care, AA, and pharmaceuticals that can help alcoholics stay sober. They remind us that relapse is not only part of recovery and to be expected, but not a failure in any sense of the word. It is an opportunity to examine what has worked and what other supports need to be added to ensure the recovering alcoholic's success. Those in recovery don't need punishment, isolation, or shame - these things only exacerbate the situation and work against their attempts at recovery. Alcoholics need love, support, and especially to be surrounded by people who truly understand this disease.
February 10, 2021
I agree with the premise but love alanon...
The story of Mike's spiral into addiction was of course the most interesting. I was annoyed at first with the as putdowns but then realized a lot of the description of Mike's experience was like my daughter's. 32 ER trips? Sounds about right. I'm glad at one point a noted doctor said modern treatments like interviewing parallel AA because it sure sounded like AA or alanon to me. alanon saved my life . The group therApy approach of alanon works and gives comfort to many families of addicts so don't be quick to dismiss it.
The story of Mike's spiral into addiction was of course the most interesting. I was annoyed at first with the as putdowns but then realized a lot of the description of Mike's experience was like my daughter's. 32 ER trips? Sounds about right. I'm glad at one point a noted doctor said modern treatments like interviewing parallel AA because it sure sounded like AA or alanon to me. alanon saved my life . The group therApy approach of alanon works and gives comfort to many families of addicts so don't be quick to dismiss it.
July 23, 2016
I think this is a valuable book in terms of understanding what alcoholism does to a person. It challenges us to rethink how society looks at alcoholism and also how treatment should look. I didn't rate it higher because I don't think it's a particularly well written book.
February 20, 2019
Riveting
A story of a rapid descent into the hell of alcoholism and his struggle back out. His support system is varied, and awesome. He is one of the lucky survivors of this deadly affliction.
A story of a rapid descent into the hell of alcoholism and his struggle back out. His support system is varied, and awesome. He is one of the lucky survivors of this deadly affliction.
November 22, 2016
Anyone who is suffering from an addiction or who has an addict in their lives (which is everyone really!) should read this book.
May 25, 2018
One of THE BEST and most enlightening books I have ever read. A must read.
December 13, 2020
This book should be required reading. An extraordinarily insightful look at the evolution of someone struggling with alcohol use disorder, challenges with various systems, and the gritty realities of the lower mainland of British Columbia for those who are struggling. It is an engaging, well written memoir and I finished it I two sittings. Refreshing reminder that this can hit anyone, even those with a PhD or who work in healthcare who “should know better”. That’s not how it works, and this book unpacks this stigma, as well as the notion that someone must hit rock bottom before getting help/being willing to get sober. Read this book and allow yourself to be affected by and changed by it.
June 29, 2021
Very engaging and relevant read for those going through or recovering from alcohol addiction. Many aspects of the author’s road to recovery ring true especially if you’re from the Metro Vancouver area, or have spent any time in the Downtown Eastside. Most importantly, the author comes across as sincere and genuine. I read this book at a time when somebody I cared about faced either incarnation or a court-mandated in-patient rehab (and, not for the first time), and the book gave me hope that improvement and recovery are possible. Thanks to the latter part of the book, when Maureen’s in the picture, it also made me feel like I’m not a complete fool to stand by and believe in someone who’s struggling with addiction and mental health issues. Thank you for taking the time, and putting in the effort, to write this autobiography! I hope your hard-earned recovery is lasting and smooth!
November 1, 2019
Pond did a fantastic job of describing the chaos that is active addiction. Having lived it myself, and having found myself in scenarios similar to Pond's, there were times I had to put the book down and take a break; something that doesn't happen often.
He is, however, a very strong supporter of the genetic theories of addiction. I am not so sold, myself, but I'm not a doctor. Dr. Gabor Maté does an excellent job of suggesting different explanations for the genetic model in his book, "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts."
Definitely worth a read. I was not disappointed.
He is, however, a very strong supporter of the genetic theories of addiction. I am not so sold, myself, but I'm not a doctor. Dr. Gabor Maté does an excellent job of suggesting different explanations for the genetic model in his book, "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts."
Definitely worth a read. I was not disappointed.
December 7, 2020
I first heard about Michael pond in a CBC documentary. I noted down the book in my to read list and hunted for it.
I finally managed to finish after three nights of not being able to put it down.
What a phenomenal emotional rollercoaster of a book. I willl never look at an alcoholic or homeless person the same way again. This book is an eye opener to the struggles ppl go through fighting addiction.
Michael pond is an absolute fighter. Thank you for sharing your personal stories with everyone.
I finally managed to finish after three nights of not being able to put it down.
What a phenomenal emotional rollercoaster of a book. I willl never look at an alcoholic or homeless person the same way again. This book is an eye opener to the struggles ppl go through fighting addiction.
Michael pond is an absolute fighter. Thank you for sharing your personal stories with everyone.
December 29, 2024
I found that I could not put this book down. Michael’s journey through alcoholism to recovery is a an addicting (and true) story. This helped me understand the power addiction has over a life and to better understand what may (and may not) aid recovery. The writing is excellent and this work so important in the severely addicted world in which we live.
October 9, 2022
A raw story of a lost life. The honest statement of facts does a lot to de-stigmatize the peripheral challenges of addiction: mental/physical malady, housing and stability etc. The end of the book is spent providing current and hopeful treatment options.
December 15, 2018
Biography portion was terrible. Science of addiction portion was fairly interesting.
July 11, 2021
-hvis vi nu tar litt Maté, litt Pond...og en persilledusk, kan det hend vi får ei høvanes bok om avhengighet til slutt.
October 2, 2022
Excellent book
December 29, 2022
I love addiction memoirs, but was looking for one that went against traditional AA as the only solution (some personal reasons for that). I had had this inkling that AA was imperfect and actually didn't work all that well, but since I am not an addict and research is limited (anonymous makes tracking hard) I sort of wanted to see if an actual addict felt the same about how they saw AA work as I did. This book provided me that confirmation. His story was interesting and inspiring, and I'm glad there are people out there looking and helping to improve treatment for those who need it.
Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews