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Space at the Table: Conversations Between an Evangelical Theologian and His Gay Son
Love does not begin with condemnation.
Can an evangelical theologian and his gay son overcome the differences in belief that threaten to destroy their relationship? For Brad and Drew Harper, that question wasn't theoretical and neither was the resounding yes they found after years of struggle. Writing to each other with compassion, grit, and humor, Brad and Drew take us on their journey as parent and child from the churches of Middle America to the penthouses of New York's party scenes, through a pastor's-kid childhood and painful conversion therapy to the hard-won victories of their adult relationship.
But Space at the Table is more than just a memoir. It is a guide, showing us a way through the roadblocks that threaten to devastate both families and the broader evangelical and LBGTQ communities. Speaking from their own experience, Brad and Drew offer an invitation to join them at a place where love is stronger than the beliefs that divide us.
Can an evangelical theologian and his gay son overcome the differences in belief that threaten to destroy their relationship? For Brad and Drew Harper, that question wasn't theoretical and neither was the resounding yes they found after years of struggle. Writing to each other with compassion, grit, and humor, Brad and Drew take us on their journey as parent and child from the churches of Middle America to the penthouses of New York's party scenes, through a pastor's-kid childhood and painful conversion therapy to the hard-won victories of their adult relationship.
But Space at the Table is more than just a memoir. It is a guide, showing us a way through the roadblocks that threaten to devastate both families and the broader evangelical and LBGTQ communities. Speaking from their own experience, Brad and Drew offer an invitation to join them at a place where love is stronger than the beliefs that divide us.
224 pages, Paperback
Published February 23, 2016
31 people are currently reading
1212 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 130 reviews
March 6, 2022
This is a book that every Evangelical parent of a gay child and every gay child of an Evangelical parent needs to read. (When they wrote it in 2015, Brad and Drew could not find a publisher willing to release it. I suspect that Christian publishers are now kicking themselves. How things change!)
The book is painfully honest, yet warm and winsome. Brad and Drew tell their story in their own words, showing us where they messed up and what they would have done differently. The book is gritty at times, as Drew relates his sexual experiences and trouble with drugs, but his honesty is a gift.
Evangelicals have been all thumbs when it comes to our children's sexuality, and slow to grapple with the reality that a significant percentage of our children will identify as LGBTQIA. Evangelicals who believe, as I do, that the Bible teaches that sex is for marriage and marriage is between a man and a woman must reckon with how to hold our convictions without losing our relationships with our children and their friends.
Highly recommended. I read it in one day!
The book is painfully honest, yet warm and winsome. Brad and Drew tell their story in their own words, showing us where they messed up and what they would have done differently. The book is gritty at times, as Drew relates his sexual experiences and trouble with drugs, but his honesty is a gift.
Evangelicals have been all thumbs when it comes to our children's sexuality, and slow to grapple with the reality that a significant percentage of our children will identify as LGBTQIA. Evangelicals who believe, as I do, that the Bible teaches that sex is for marriage and marriage is between a man and a woman must reckon with how to hold our convictions without losing our relationships with our children and their friends.
Highly recommended. I read it in one day!
February 11, 2016
I wish I had this book years ago. Much of my twenties was spent as a youth intern at my church. Sunday morning youth worship, sitting with kids during "adult service", Wednesday night youth group, Bible study, mission trips, rock concerts-- it was impossible to spend so much time with students and not become friends. With friendship came honesty, and advice seeking. When one of our students came out, I needed this book. I needed the encouragement that "Love doesn't start with condemnation" and that at the end of anything relationships are what matter most. But I didn't have this book so I went with what seemed best at the time, and what the rest of our little church decided on: trying to speak the truth in love, but with ultimatums that would ultimately break the relationship. Had we as a church leaned into the best of us, the love of Christ, who knows what would have been.
With "Space at the Table" Brad and Drew Harper have given us one of the greatest gifts someone can give us: their story. Take and read it. At points you're going to find yourself crying, at other times laughing, and most definitely stretched. "Space at the Table" isn't just a story though. It's an invitation to the table, to committed relationship despite differences. I'm so thankful that Brad and Drew Harper have given us this gift and invitation. Their experience, story, and guidance is absolutely needed today.
This book won't save your relationship with your parents or your child. Only the commitment to love can do that. But here is the story of two men that have made that commitment and continue to work for it. They've opened up a space at their table to read, learn, and grow in love. I hope you'll accept the invitation.
With "Space at the Table" Brad and Drew Harper have given us one of the greatest gifts someone can give us: their story. Take and read it. At points you're going to find yourself crying, at other times laughing, and most definitely stretched. "Space at the Table" isn't just a story though. It's an invitation to the table, to committed relationship despite differences. I'm so thankful that Brad and Drew Harper have given us this gift and invitation. Their experience, story, and guidance is absolutely needed today.
This book won't save your relationship with your parents or your child. Only the commitment to love can do that. But here is the story of two men that have made that commitment and continue to work for it. They've opened up a space at their table to read, learn, and grow in love. I hope you'll accept the invitation.
February 11, 2016
It's a memoir with call-out boxes containing straightforward advice interspersed liberally throughout. So it's both a story that shows readers how to navigate their conflict and a discourse that recommends how they should proceed. Highly recommended for its intended audience: evangelical parents of gay children, and gay people with evangelical parents. It would also be a worthwhile read for members of other cultures or religious traditions that traditionally reject homosexuality.
The narrative is a little uneven. Some parts are over-developed; others are underdeveloped.
Over-development: They tend to belabor unimportant details. The most tedious examples are the numerous self-congratulatory passages that describe how cool their family's musical tastes are.
Under-development: The most crucial portion of the narrative--the part where son and father learn to relate to each other as adults--is surprisingly short and underdeveloped. At the climax, Drew's life falls apart quickly, and then it is quickly put back together again. Once his life is back together, he and his parents seem to get along better than they have for years. It's a sudden shift that merits a more detailed exposition and more analysis.
The narrative is a little uneven. Some parts are over-developed; others are underdeveloped.
Over-development: They tend to belabor unimportant details. The most tedious examples are the numerous self-congratulatory passages that describe how cool their family's musical tastes are.
Under-development: The most crucial portion of the narrative--the part where son and father learn to relate to each other as adults--is surprisingly short and underdeveloped. At the climax, Drew's life falls apart quickly, and then it is quickly put back together again. Once his life is back together, he and his parents seem to get along better than they have for years. It's a sudden shift that merits a more detailed exposition and more analysis.
March 14, 2017
What an incredible privilege to sit at the table with this father and son through their journey of real struggle and real love. This book will be a great tool for me as a youth pastor for students and parents alike who struggle with homosexuality and differing views.
November 1, 2018
"Space at the Table" is a rare and important book on the intersection of Christianity and homosexuality, for two reasons: 1) part of the book is a gay man's personal account and perspective, valuable for Christians who truly want to listen to and understand their gay child, family member or friend, and 2) Drew Harper urges gays to love their evangelical Christian parents and not demand they change their deeply held convictions -- in essence, to do unto them as you would have them do unto you. This is written as a conversation, alternating between the father's thoughts and the son's; they're not concerned about persuading readers to take a side or providing grist for an argument, just opening their ears. For Christians, there are things to consider here, like the wisdom in not forcing a young child into a mold (e.g., he prefers the arts over sports), the psychological and spiritual ramifications of conversion therapy, consistency in setting rules at home, candid talk about the very real possibility that a gay son or daughter will walk away from the Christian faith, and more. For non-Christians, there is much to think about too, because the Harpers' story destroys the myth that all evangelical Christians, that all churches, are instruments of repression and hate. What we get here is an honest picture of a somewhat average Christian family experiencing their son's "coming out," and the hard work done by each person to stay in relationship. Some readers may be unsatisfied that Drew has not returned to the Christian faith of his youth; they also might feel his parents err too much on the side of love. I'd disagree on that, as they appear rooted in a traditional understanding of Scripture and the Christian sexual ethic. No doubt this was a cathartic book to write, and occasionally painful. For families going through similar situations (and there are many, whether the church wants to admit it or not), there are rich lessons and insights here.
July 16, 2021
Wow. What a beautiful, heartwarming, practical, and relevant book.
Here’s what I loved:
- the love between father and son despite polarizing worldviews
- the critiques of the Christian church when it comes to admitting their deep mistakes in mistreating the gay communities and treating them as outcasts
- the practical advice given to Christian parents if their children do come out as gay
- the authentic acknowledgement that not every gay person who grew up in the church will decide to either stay Christian or remain celibate
- the deeper empathy that I now have for the gay community
- the real facts and history when it comes to how Christians have historically voted for laws that have hurt the gay community in ways that are unloving and ill informed
- the honesty between both father and son in how they still disagree with each other but they still love each other so deeply
P.S. the audiobook is read by both authors and is phenomenal!
Here’s what I loved:
- the love between father and son despite polarizing worldviews
- the critiques of the Christian church when it comes to admitting their deep mistakes in mistreating the gay communities and treating them as outcasts
- the practical advice given to Christian parents if their children do come out as gay
- the authentic acknowledgement that not every gay person who grew up in the church will decide to either stay Christian or remain celibate
- the deeper empathy that I now have for the gay community
- the real facts and history when it comes to how Christians have historically voted for laws that have hurt the gay community in ways that are unloving and ill informed
- the honesty between both father and son in how they still disagree with each other but they still love each other so deeply
P.S. the audiobook is read by both authors and is phenomenal!
August 27, 2020
Excellent book.
March 9, 2021
This book is definitely worth the read for anyone in the Christian community, and should absolutely be read by parents of gay children, gay children with Evangelical parents, and church staff. While I wish there was more emphasis on Drew’s 18+ years and specifically how that looked more practically in their relationship, I found this to be a really valuable read.
April 25, 2016
My favorite quote from this book is from the authors' daughter/sister: "Deciding whether living an LGBTQ lifestyle is right or wrong is not on my agenda. I have better things to do than skirmish over this one issue... My opinion on this issue is shaped and reshaped both by people I know and love and the scriptures I know and study to experience God. Sure, I may have an opinion, but as a Christian, my call to love people trumps everything else. My job is to love whole people as a whole person. To listen to the stories of people who have been marginalized, and respond with the kindness, love, and acceptance I know Jesus would."
This is a legit book that contains no cheesiness or "happy ending." There's no breakdown of bible verses/essays on damaging religious dogma/etc. The book is one father/son story told from two wildly different world views, but saturated with mutual love and respect for one another. Who woulda thunk it?
I read this book from a Christian perspective and I would recommend it to all Christians. Time to get informed y'all.
I'd also recommend this book to gay people who feel any distance from their family or community because of their sexuality, both for religious and non-religious reasons.
My purpose in writing this review is not to start a debate, but to encourage believers and non believers, gay and straight people, to make space for each other at the table. Like the cover says, this book can save lives.
This is a legit book that contains no cheesiness or "happy ending." There's no breakdown of bible verses/essays on damaging religious dogma/etc. The book is one father/son story told from two wildly different world views, but saturated with mutual love and respect for one another. Who woulda thunk it?
I read this book from a Christian perspective and I would recommend it to all Christians. Time to get informed y'all.
I'd also recommend this book to gay people who feel any distance from their family or community because of their sexuality, both for religious and non-religious reasons.
My purpose in writing this review is not to start a debate, but to encourage believers and non believers, gay and straight people, to make space for each other at the table. Like the cover says, this book can save lives.
January 1, 2018
I thought this book did a good job of presenting two people with very different core beliefs who still found a way to love and appreciate each other for who they were. It actually brought me to tears a couple times because I could feel that the pain was very real for both of them. I think you can have very strong opinions on either side of this topic and still come away from this book with something of value. I think the world needs this type of open dialogue, love, respect and commitment in the face of "there is no way in the world we are ever going to see this the same way" situations.
April 20, 2022
Space at the Table: Conversations Between an Evangelical Theologian and His Gay Son was hard to read - harder yet writing a review on. That being said, it was helpful to be able to read both sides. I did not agree with everything on both sides. But, it was enlightening.
Near the end of the book (and not a spoiler) the dad quoted I Corinthians 13, the love chapter and then proceeded to say:
This is the kind of love I, and all of us, need to receive. The kind we need to give in return.
I write these words as a man who loves Jesus and believes the Bible's teachings with my whole heart. But that same heart is full of seasoned, powerful love for my firstborn son. That love is like a seal upon my heart. Many waters cannot drown it.
It is my hope that reading our story has felt familiar to you. Every parent and child relationship is something unique and special. But there are also common things that we share, particularly when we struggle through an issue as deep and important as how a parent's belief and a child's sexuality intersect.
You have your own story, your own road forward with your child. Wherever that leads, it is my prayer to God for you that you find - and make - space for faith. Space for humility. Space for love. Space at your table.
I invite you to that love. It can deepen, perhaps even save, your relationship with your beloved child.
Space at the table has done that for Drew and me."
Near the end of the book (and not a spoiler) the dad quoted I Corinthians 13, the love chapter and then proceeded to say:
This is the kind of love I, and all of us, need to receive. The kind we need to give in return.
I write these words as a man who loves Jesus and believes the Bible's teachings with my whole heart. But that same heart is full of seasoned, powerful love for my firstborn son. That love is like a seal upon my heart. Many waters cannot drown it.
It is my hope that reading our story has felt familiar to you. Every parent and child relationship is something unique and special. But there are also common things that we share, particularly when we struggle through an issue as deep and important as how a parent's belief and a child's sexuality intersect.
You have your own story, your own road forward with your child. Wherever that leads, it is my prayer to God for you that you find - and make - space for faith. Space for humility. Space for love. Space at your table.
I invite you to that love. It can deepen, perhaps even save, your relationship with your beloved child.
Space at the table has done that for Drew and me."
February 25, 2021
I stumbled across this audiobook when one of the apps my library uses offered “bonus borrows” this month. Cautiously pressing play, I quickly found myself pulled in and wanting to sit at the table with this father and son while they shared their stories. The experiences and moments that they discuss here are at times hard, raw, painful, vulnerable, beautiful, tender, real, awkward, loving, funny, relatable, and transformative. Cliche as it sounds, I laughed and I cried along with them. Which was quite a sight I’m sure since I was usually on walks with my pup while I listened.
Fans of Robin Williams will also receive a teeny tiny bonus gift of a very brief encounter one of the authors shared with him.
I also want to say, I didn’t come from an evangelical background, so I cannot speak to how hard or painful this might be to dive back into for those readers who did.
Fans of Robin Williams will also receive a teeny tiny bonus gift of a very brief encounter one of the authors shared with him.
I also want to say, I didn’t come from an evangelical background, so I cannot speak to how hard or painful this might be to dive back into for those readers who did.
October 7, 2020
In search of some good advice on how Christians can love the LGBTQ community better, I ordered this book. I enjoyed the letters written back and forth between pastor/theologian Brad and his son, Drew. I had many laughs out loud moments as well as pages of tears as I read the love that these two share between each other. It’s not an easy road for either of these men, but the love and commitment to each other was felt on every page. It was a quick read once I started it, and the short letters between father and son made it a page turner. It’s not sugar coated and neither father or son are perfect. They are real with their emotions and the mistakes they’ve both made along the way.
May 12, 2024
A significant memoir written as letters between an evangelical father and his gay son. As an affirming queer Christian with evangelical parents this memoir was relatable in both joyful and painful ways. I can't wait to share this book with my mom in the hopes that it will challenge and affirm her in similar ways it has for me. It is a difficult path to walk with opposing views with those you love and desire to be loved by. I recommend this book to anyone who is an evangelical parenting an LGBTQ child or a LGBTQ child raised in an evangelical family.
April 18, 2018
An achingly transparent and challenging book for evangelical Christians who are not sure what to do about gay people. Brad Harper has practical advice for what it ACTUALLY means to love an LGBT person while holding a traditional perspective. while the book is also aimed at gay children of evangelicals, I'm not sure I would recommend it to them -- Drew's close relationship to his evangelical dad is unusual in general and especially for an LGBT person, so his advice to kids is colored by that.
March 31, 2023
I absolutely felt their love, I felt their pain.
Such a brave, heartbreaking, artistic, honest, sad, hopeful, traumatic story.
A beautiful father son relationship.
This is such a good book for every single person who has a family member whose convictions you don't agree with but still love.
Seeking meaningful relationships amidst deep disagreement isn't easy. But this book clearly shows that it's possible.
Such a brave, heartbreaking, artistic, honest, sad, hopeful, traumatic story.
A beautiful father son relationship.
This is such a good book for every single person who has a family member whose convictions you don't agree with but still love.
Seeking meaningful relationships amidst deep disagreement isn't easy. But this book clearly shows that it's possible.
January 7, 2018
"I can't say I know how you feel, but I can say here is love."
I've now read multiple books over this topic and this is by far my favorite. One because I appreciate the honesty and humility that went into, but also because you get to hear from both perspectives and what it was like navigating their relationship, emotions and all, from both sides. I think all Christians need to read this book.
I've now read multiple books over this topic and this is by far my favorite. One because I appreciate the honesty and humility that went into, but also because you get to hear from both perspectives and what it was like navigating their relationship, emotions and all, from both sides. I think all Christians need to read this book.
May 14, 2019
A powerful read that doesn’t shy from the often messy reality faced by two conflicting and opposite world views. Nonetheless, there’s power in the words of this book that reflect how we can still love beyond the challenges we all face.
December 20, 2024
DNF at 75%. had some really good and compassionate things to say but i simply did not care that he went to new york city, funded by a millionaire, to act like a bitch for 5 years.
also whoever told him to do voices in the audiobook was trying to sabotage him i fear
also whoever told him to do voices in the audiobook was trying to sabotage him i fear
June 18, 2021
Honest reflections between this father and son. I felt their pain and their love, their pained love.
January 5, 2022
My rating isn't based on whether or not I agree with everything said in this book, but that's it's honest. brutal. gut wrenching. thoughtful. artful. deep. dramatic. honest. vulnerable. beautiful. composed. A lot to ponder, but man, this book can't be put down.
November 25, 2023
Wow! I am so very thankful that this father and son were willing to share their hard, emotional, and beautiful story of pursuing relationship despite moral/theological differences. I believe their humble hearts will help so many other families with similar experiences.
January 7, 2023
This book is a gift to humanity. What a beautiful story between a father and son and how they overcame their differences with love
July 20, 2020
A book that encourages the reader to think deeper and listen with more intention. I thought this book was uniquely written with a lot of personality and care!
June 15, 2018
Amazing story. This tale of a father and son finding each other even despite major differences is particularly poignant as I drive to my parents' house for Father's Day. Great book regardless, made even more special by the timing.
May 15, 2024
my heart is so full of love.
May 4, 2020
I found this book edifying & felt honored to read a personal story of this relationship. I do wish they fleshed out the ways they found to “make space at the table” more. I admire both characters for different reasons - the father for his unrelenting love and willingness to follow his conscience while also knowing when to compromise; the son for his honesty, candidness, and willingness to learn from people who hurt him. As a LGBT Catholic who has chosen to follow the Church’s teachings on chastity, this book helped me with my own self reflection & consider ways I can stay open-hearted to people of all experiences.
October 6, 2016
***A raw & honest dialogue between a theologian father & his gay son***
Brad Harper, loving father, author and professor of Theology at Portland, Oregon's Multnomah University penned "Space at the Table" with his son Drew Harper, subtitled, "Conversations between an Evangelical Theologian and His Gay Son." Together they provide a narrative style memoir of family struggles bridged by time, patience and their love for their family and one another.
Their thought-provoking narratives begin with Drew's birth in 1989 where Brad writes, "I loved him the moment I set eyes on him." Yet, Brad didn't know that over time their loving relationship would be tested with irreconcilable mine fields "of conflict over sexuality and morality" caused by deep religious beliefs.
While for Drew, he was always "much happier doing things girls typically did." He was also drawn to music, art and anything theatrical very early, illustrated by an incident on his first birthday when he buried his face in cake frosting and "discovered what an audience was." However, by the time Drew turned seven, other children viewed him as a freak, neither boy nor girl. He endured his isolation supported by his family and "there was always Jesus to talk to," he writes. It would be years before Drew understood he would never "experience what he idolized as a child: the storybook heterosexual Christian marriage."
Brad, Drew and their family share with vulnerability, raw honesty and humor, their grief and struggles living out, to the best of their ability, the second commandment found in Mark 12:31, "Love your neighbor as you love yourself."
They have learned to listen to one another and invite you to do the same in these conversations in spite of the challenging polarization and division between the LBTGQ and conservative Christian Evangelical communities. Although they don't see the world in the same way they both can say, "I can't imagine my world without you in it."
'Space At The Table,' by Brad Harper & Drew Stafford Harper, Zeal Books, 2016, 224 Pages, 978-0997066906, $15.99
Midwest Book Reviews: "Gail's Bookshelf" August 2016
Pinterest: GailWelborn
Twitter: @GailWelborn
FaceBook: Gail Welborn
Brad Harper, loving father, author and professor of Theology at Portland, Oregon's Multnomah University penned "Space at the Table" with his son Drew Harper, subtitled, "Conversations between an Evangelical Theologian and His Gay Son." Together they provide a narrative style memoir of family struggles bridged by time, patience and their love for their family and one another.
Their thought-provoking narratives begin with Drew's birth in 1989 where Brad writes, "I loved him the moment I set eyes on him." Yet, Brad didn't know that over time their loving relationship would be tested with irreconcilable mine fields "of conflict over sexuality and morality" caused by deep religious beliefs.
While for Drew, he was always "much happier doing things girls typically did." He was also drawn to music, art and anything theatrical very early, illustrated by an incident on his first birthday when he buried his face in cake frosting and "discovered what an audience was." However, by the time Drew turned seven, other children viewed him as a freak, neither boy nor girl. He endured his isolation supported by his family and "there was always Jesus to talk to," he writes. It would be years before Drew understood he would never "experience what he idolized as a child: the storybook heterosexual Christian marriage."
Brad, Drew and their family share with vulnerability, raw honesty and humor, their grief and struggles living out, to the best of their ability, the second commandment found in Mark 12:31, "Love your neighbor as you love yourself."
They have learned to listen to one another and invite you to do the same in these conversations in spite of the challenging polarization and division between the LBTGQ and conservative Christian Evangelical communities. Although they don't see the world in the same way they both can say, "I can't imagine my world without you in it."
'Space At The Table,' by Brad Harper & Drew Stafford Harper, Zeal Books, 2016, 224 Pages, 978-0997066906, $15.99
Midwest Book Reviews: "Gail's Bookshelf" August 2016
Pinterest: GailWelborn
Twitter: @GailWelborn
FaceBook: Gail Welborn
February 7, 2017
“Space at the Table” is not just a book about the conflicts between a gay son and his evangelical Christian father—those are merely labels. It would be unfortunate to limit this book to that theme. In fact I don’t see these men as being very different at all—but very similar. They both have the courage of their convictions.
This in not a book about resolving difference—but learning to live with them. It is about embracing “other”. It is about being challenged and rising to the occasion with grace. “Space at the Table” is a book about unconditional love, compassion and community. This is a book about how to have and maintain significant, often difficult, relationships in our lives.
Through their story, Brad and Drew offer us real life examples of how to deal with these conflicts. It’s through challenges that we grow—through reflection that we gain wisdom. They have walked the talk. They choose to live in this dynamic because they believe it is important to be able to do so. This book offers not only a glimpse into their journey but also the wisdom they have acquired along the way.
I hope that everyone will read this book because whether you are gay, Christian, Muslim, an artist…our views will always be “other” to someone. We can all see similar pieces of ourselves in the relationships within our own families and we can all benefit from the wisdom on these pages.
This in not a book about resolving difference—but learning to live with them. It is about embracing “other”. It is about being challenged and rising to the occasion with grace. “Space at the Table” is a book about unconditional love, compassion and community. This is a book about how to have and maintain significant, often difficult, relationships in our lives.
Through their story, Brad and Drew offer us real life examples of how to deal with these conflicts. It’s through challenges that we grow—through reflection that we gain wisdom. They have walked the talk. They choose to live in this dynamic because they believe it is important to be able to do so. This book offers not only a glimpse into their journey but also the wisdom they have acquired along the way.
I hope that everyone will read this book because whether you are gay, Christian, Muslim, an artist…our views will always be “other” to someone. We can all see similar pieces of ourselves in the relationships within our own families and we can all benefit from the wisdom on these pages.
March 1, 2019
4.5/5. I listened to the audiobook, which I would argue is the BEST way to experience this book. It is read by BOTH authors, so it really was like listening to a conversation. And they're both excellent writers and readers. This book wasn't flawless or unproblematic, but it just felt real and honest and raw. It is best read as a memoir, not a manual. There is some advice given, but it's more like "this is what did (or didn't) work for us and our relationship" rather than "this is the right option for everyone."
The final few minutes made my eyes fill with tears. The love and respect between this pair is so obvious, and it's so abundantly clear that they have fought tooth and nail with themselves, each other, their identities and their beliefs in order to maintain (or re-gain, in some sense) a close relationship. There are ideas here I disagree with, but the core of this book is love and reconciliation.
I just saw a review of this book that said that it is geared toward people who are experiencing the exact situation and is therefore not relatable to other readers. I would strongly disagree. I would actually argue that the main takeaway is not even how "Evangelicals and gays" should relate to one another, but how love and respect and a desire for wholeness and healing in relationships should be the driving motivational force in ANY situation where a person's deeply held identity and beliefs might clash with another's.
(Also, Drew's chapters in particular made me laugh out loud multiple times.)
The final few minutes made my eyes fill with tears. The love and respect between this pair is so obvious, and it's so abundantly clear that they have fought tooth and nail with themselves, each other, their identities and their beliefs in order to maintain (or re-gain, in some sense) a close relationship. There are ideas here I disagree with, but the core of this book is love and reconciliation.
I just saw a review of this book that said that it is geared toward people who are experiencing the exact situation and is therefore not relatable to other readers. I would strongly disagree. I would actually argue that the main takeaway is not even how "Evangelicals and gays" should relate to one another, but how love and respect and a desire for wholeness and healing in relationships should be the driving motivational force in ANY situation where a person's deeply held identity and beliefs might clash with another's.
(Also, Drew's chapters in particular made me laugh out loud multiple times.)
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