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When Your Partner Has an Addiction: How Compassion Can Transform Your Relationship
Your partner’s addiction takes a toll on both of your lives.
That doesn’t mean you should turn your back on the person you love.
We’ve been told that staying with a partner who struggles with addiction—whether it be with drugs, alcohol, or addictive behaviors—means that we’re enabling their destructive behavior. That wanting to help them means we’re codependent, and that the best thing for both of us is to walk away from the relationship entirely. But is that true?
How to Love an Addict challenges the idea that the best chance for recovery—for the addict and their partner—is to walk away. Instead, it makes the revolutionary claim that you, and the love you have for your partner, can be a key part of his or her journey to recovery.
Together, addiction activist and bestselling author Christopher Kennedy Lawford and psychotherapist Beverly Engel, MFT, take a fresh look at addiction and codependency—the latest research on what causes them and what the two have in common. Rather than treat addiction or codependency as disease or weakness, How to Love an Addict honors the trauma and shame that often lie at their source and shows you how to use your love to combat that shame, allowing you to more effectively support your partner and heal yourself.
The research proves that, while you cannot “fix” your partner, you can have a positive impact on their recovery. Whether you suffer from codependency, and whether your partner is already in recovery, How to Love an Addict provides you with proven techniques and strategies to drastically improve your relationship and help get your partner the help he needs—without leaving and while taking care of yourself in the process.
That doesn’t mean you should turn your back on the person you love.
We’ve been told that staying with a partner who struggles with addiction—whether it be with drugs, alcohol, or addictive behaviors—means that we’re enabling their destructive behavior. That wanting to help them means we’re codependent, and that the best thing for both of us is to walk away from the relationship entirely. But is that true?
How to Love an Addict challenges the idea that the best chance for recovery—for the addict and their partner—is to walk away. Instead, it makes the revolutionary claim that you, and the love you have for your partner, can be a key part of his or her journey to recovery.
Together, addiction activist and bestselling author Christopher Kennedy Lawford and psychotherapist Beverly Engel, MFT, take a fresh look at addiction and codependency—the latest research on what causes them and what the two have in common. Rather than treat addiction or codependency as disease or weakness, How to Love an Addict honors the trauma and shame that often lie at their source and shows you how to use your love to combat that shame, allowing you to more effectively support your partner and heal yourself.
The research proves that, while you cannot “fix” your partner, you can have a positive impact on their recovery. Whether you suffer from codependency, and whether your partner is already in recovery, How to Love an Addict provides you with proven techniques and strategies to drastically improve your relationship and help get your partner the help he needs—without leaving and while taking care of yourself in the process.
- GenresAddictionNonfiction
232 pages, Paperback
Published October 4, 2016
77 people are currently reading
360 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
November 9, 2016
I wish I had read this a long time ago. It helped me understand what goes on in a relationship affected by addiction. If I had been armed with this kind of information in the midst of trying to figure out how to respond to things, maybe I would have known how to be in a relationship effectively while my partner was recovering. I could have recovered more effectively too.
April 3, 2017
The book was interesting to read. Overall, not all addictions should be treated the same way. The thing to remember is to hate the addiction, not necessarily the person. Everyone's situation is different and with all addictions, you are never altogether healed. You still need to take it one day at a time.
August 28, 2016
There is not a single person on this planet that has not had their lives touched by someone with an addiction. Everybody needs to read this book. It helps the person dealing with the addict and the addict learns how to deal with the people helping them get through their struggles. Kudos to Chris Lawford for another great book on addiction. He is definitely making a difference
July 23, 2021
Finally a book about addiction that's not so angry.
This is such an open and honest book about coping with addiction. It doesn't sugar coat the process or give false hope but it does give great advice for self care and compassion. It was 90 percentspot on for me. I will refer back to it often.
This is such an open and honest book about coping with addiction. It doesn't sugar coat the process or give false hope but it does give great advice for self care and compassion. It was 90 percentspot on for me. I will refer back to it often.
February 21, 2019
I thought this was a fabulous book. I loved being able to read this and connect some dots and to understand why and I really enjoyed being able to see addiction with a different mind set. I think it was well written and I was able to relate very easily.
This book has really helped me....yes the problems are all still there but I am able to see them in a different light and thus relate differently.
I realize that the time frame that I have been reading it is very long....but I have read and re-read and taken a notebooks worth of notes, working things out and learning from these pages.
This book has really helped me....yes the problems are all still there but I am able to see them in a different light and thus relate differently.
I realize that the time frame that I have been reading it is very long....but I have read and re-read and taken a notebooks worth of notes, working things out and learning from these pages.
October 1, 2021
Alternatives to cutting a person who has an addiction out of your life while also healing your own pain with self-compassion. Supporter or collaborator.
October 7, 2022
VERY INSIGHTFUL- I LOVED HOW IT READ, IT WAS PACK WITH LOT'S OF INFORMATION.
April 1, 2024
Different than AlAnon literature aimed at partners/ families and helpful when working with families of those dealing with addiction, especially when the partner is choosing to stay.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews