Realizing River City

by Melissa Grunow

* Winner of the Silver Medal in Memoir from Readers Favorite International Book Competition
* Winner of Second Place-Nonfiction Book of the Year Awards from the Independent Author Network (IAN)
* Winner of "Outstanding Memoir" category from IAN
* Finalist in the "First Book, Nonfiction" category from IAN

At times, life can feel like a challenging feat of survival. Whether it’s living through abusive relationships or figuring out the complexities of what it means to be a woman searching for love, Realizing River City is a memoir that proves how despite the troubles we may face, there is hope in the way we continually risk ourselves in search for the life we want to live. In her poetic exploration of past relationships, Melissa Grunow’s honest words do not falter in the face of so much loss. Taking the rage we all feel about grief and pain, and funneling it into truth, beauty, and ultimately redemption on each page, Realizing River City is about discovering how the most important relationship is the one we have with ourselves.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction

146 pages, Paperback

First published February 14, 2016

Reviews

[Katherine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Realizing River City is not a book I would pick on any given day at the Library. I don't think I've ever actually read a memoir. Reading it was like peering into someone's diary. And as a sorority sister of Melissa's I almost felt I was invading her privacy. There is a lot of heartbreak and there is a lot of growth. It was something I'm very glad I read.

[Angela Amman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Realizing River City provides stunning insight into the stops and starts the author makes as she finds her way through the world. Grunow's imagery transports readers to each of the places she's been, both physically and emotionally, during her moves across the country and back and in between the various relationships she navigates along the way.

Her prose doesn't flinch away from her decisions, even the ones the don't paint her choices in the most savory light, which gives this memoir an authenticity some lack. While not self-flagellating, Grunow allows the reader to see the decisions she's made at different junctures of her life, some showing strength and some perhaps not, but all of them contributing to the person she is and the perspective she has today.

She writes about relationships, not simply the acts that take place within them, but the ways in which she and the people she loves—and the people she doesn't—impact one another. Grunow frames her moments of strength and of weakness in the same level way, stepping away from her ego to highlight that both positive and negative times in our lives shape the people we will become. Her decisions lead to consequences she doesn't always expect, but she explores them with the grace offered by time and perspective.

I purchased my copy after hearing the author read at a local event, where I saw clearly her emotional investment in her writing. The melodic rhythm of her work packs a powerful punch in person, but I appreciate the opportunity to keep the book on my shelf to re-read and peruse at will.

Memoir enthusiasts will love Realizing River City, but even if you're not normally a fan of the genre, you'll appreciate the storytelling quality Grunow employs. Her journey unfolds in moments of heartache and self-realization, and readers will be happy they took the time to follow Grunow along as she goes on that journey.

[Sheila · Rating 4 out of 5]

In this memoir, Melissa Grunow bravely shares her story of personal journey, failed relationships and return to herself. This book reminded me of "Eat, Pray, Love"

[Story Circle Book Reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

Realizing River City is an introspective look into one woman's search for happiness. Author Melissa Grunow subscribes to the belief that happiness can be found only through the companionship of and coupling with a man, and her memoir focuses on this narrow band of experience. With each chapter, she introduces the reader to a prospective life companion and descriptively reveals the ups and increasingly predictable downs of the relationship.

An eternal optimist, Grunow lures the reader through her tales of lust, booze, and love lost, and lost again. Her tales slide between the Southwest to the Midwest, with descriptive details in both locales. Her tales and details are eloquently interwoven and succeed in sustaining this reader's attention. Each relationship, regardless of how brief or apparently meaningless, was entertained for its potential of being the one. Each is offered with a fresh openness of her willingness to adapt and blend into the man's world, and expectations that deteriorate as Gurnow realizes the relationship does not make her happy.

The sagas are much easier to read as a disinterested and unbiased observer than to experience as the woman in each of us who has been schooled to believe that completeness can be found through a relationship with a man. And by Chapter 8, I wanted to pull the author aside and let her know the fruitlessness of her ongoing quest and convince her of the value of other aspects of her life. (Some readers may become weary of her seemingly never-ending string of encounters with men.)

Honesty and straightforwardness are the hallmarks of this book, and it is Grunow's transparency that fueled this reader. Her opening and closing scenes are the strongest writing in the book, offering both compelling description and revealing symbolism that seal this fine reading experience.

by Diane Stanton
for Story Circle Book Reviews
reviewing books by, for, and about women

[Beth Rodgers · Rating 5 out of 5]

'Realizing River City' is an unapologetic, stirring account of author Melissa Grunow's relationship history. This memoir chronicles her struggles as she tries, both figuratively and literally, at times, to keep her head above water. She paints a vivid, compelling picture of life through her eyes - a life in which she struggles to maintain a semblance of who she is all while weathering the storm that is her aggravating and heartbreaking relationships with men.

Starting off early on detailing her life as a young twenty-something married woman, on to the string of unsuccessful relationships that gnaw at her until she realizes she needs to get out of them to save herself, she doesn't hold back. Her words keep the pages turning, wondering what will happen next and how it will all end up. Her path is not an easy one, but it is one that she navigates with as much dignity as she can. Yet her uncertainty about ever finding a solid, steady relationship is discussed throughout, and she pushes herself to do the right thing and take care of herself. As time and her relationships wear on, she knows that if she doesn't do this, she will never survive it all.

This unabashedly revealing tale is not only her story, but an instructive tale to women who may find themselves in Grunow's shoes. The way she tells her truth and comes to terms with her past and all its turmoil is heartening. Readers will instinctively feel connected with her and her troubles, as well as her strengths in the face of adversity. Her dedication to moving on and finding what is right for her is something that no one can take for granted.

Beth Rodgers, Author of 'Freshman Fourteen,' A Young Adult Novel

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Before starting this book, I was intrigued that it revolved around personal relationship experience. I've definitely learned a lot through relationships, and I always love hearing about the lessons that others take away from theirs. When I started reading, I was a bit shocked as well as impressed by the level of honesty. Knowing Melissa through our sorority, I was somewhat familiar with the general details of her life, but in her writing she really delved into the private details of her past and her thoughts. I enjoyed the structure of the book - how she began with the story of nearly drowning in the river and then went back to her fight against the current after explaining her personal journey/fight to find the right kind of partner. Being in a crappy relationship or even just trying to find your place in life is so comparable to that river. You never know when the rapids will flip you over and pull you under, and you will have to fight just to stay above the surface. Melissa's depiction is not only honest, but also relatable.

Overall, I enjoyed seeing the gradual personal development throughout the memoir. Kind of makes me want to write something about my own journey into adulthood, but I don't know if I would have to guts to share my private life with the world. It certainly took a lot of courage to write this and have it published. Melissa, I applaud you for your courage and honesty. Congratulations on a job well done.

[Crystal · Rating 5 out of 5]

Grunow’s skillfully crafted memoir stuns readers with raw honesty in her search for a fulfilling and lifelong, romantic relationship. She expertly keeps the readers engaged as we follow her across the country and back again. She has us cheering for her and hoping for good things as the story moves along. We feel her defeat, confusion, passion and frustration page by page. This is the trademark of a great storyteller and this is what readers experience in Grunow’s memoir. The unfolding journey portrays Grunow’s growth as she draws strength from within herself and from those family and friends who are mutually supportive of one another.

Grunow’s narrative ability stands out with her skill at weaving themes throughout the book with the opening on the rapids of the Rio Grande as an indication of the turmoil that will ensue throughout the book. It is truly a book that was hard to put down once I started it. She writes about her friends in such a way that I had my favorites and hated to see them move out of her life. And I loved Duke! You’ll just have to read the book to find out about him. Melissa Grunow is a woman following her heart where it leads in her memoir Realizing River City.

[Cynthia Harrison · Rating 5 out of 5]

I met Melissa Grunow a few years ago at a conference. I'm a huge fan of memoir so, even though she looks too young to have written a memoir, I bought Realizing River City. I was curious about what she had to say about relationships. I could be Melissa's grandmother and I still have not figured out my own crazy love history...so I was intrigued. Her writing is gorgeous, smooth then recursive, so the words reflect the story she's telling with grit, grace and heart. Apparently Melissa is much more grounded than me--she was able to figure a few things out about her relationships that will resonate with readers of any age. Her story reminds me of fiction in that the plot puts her in peril and the reader watches her struggle to get out and on top of the trouble. After I read Realizing River City, I made it a point to connect to Melissa whenever I saw her at writing events. I checked out her website and read some of the shorter pieces there. This woman has big talent and a bigger heart and I am very sure this book, her first, is just the beginning of a fabulous career.

[Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've never been keen on memoir until reading Melissa Grunow's Realizing River City.

Saw myself and many of my relationships in the pages of this book, and am grateful for the awareness of my own growth and "redemption" in the years since. Melissa's style is clear, her images are strong, and her depth of understanding quite remarkable.

[Thomas Cannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Embark on a heartfelt voyage through the memoirs of Melissa Grunow in "Realizing River City." The chronicle weaves a poignant tale of her tumultuous relationships with men who failed to meet her needs, revealing the struggle to break free from dysfunctional patterns.
Grunow's candid account showcases the nonlinear journey towards self-realization, providing solace to those who have faced similar struggles. Her story flows with raw vulnerability, inviting readers to connect with her experiences.
With grace and poise, Grunow navigates through the ups and downs of her relationships, never losing sight of her dignity. This memoir is a good read for young women (especially), illustrating the challenges of breaking free from harmful cycles while offering the reassurance that change is possible, although taking its own time.
"Realizing River City" is a page-turner, enrapturing readers with every turn of the page. Grunow's authenticity and determination to forge a new path will leave you cheering her on until the very end.

[Maye · Rating 3 out of 5]

Clearly crafted by a talented writer. Grunow paints captivating images of her surroundings and the people around her throughout the narrative. Furthermore, I was emotionally engaged in many parts of her memoir, including Melissa overcoming hardships in her various areas of her life. However, at times I found myself questioning the author's life chooses and her motivation in some of her relationships. Additionally, halfway through the book, the perception of time and the many names of her beaux was a little disorienting and hard to keep track of. Overall, my emotions toward this memoir are a mixed bag and I think that's why it took me so long to read such a compact narrative (less than 150 pages). Currently my review wavers between 2 and 3 stars. I might try re-reading it in the future to see if my feelings change with time.

[Nancy · Rating 1 out of 5]

Giving credit where credit is due, Ms. Grunow openly writes about her search for love and the men she finds along the way… and with each relationship, you hope that she finds it or at least learns from each experience. Sadly the quest goes on for the entire book with no real light at the end of the tunnel. Where she began her story, she ends her story and I find myself unsatisfied, and wanting more depth, more soul searching. This being her first book, I give her credit for sharing, but her story does not stand out from countless others who are living the same storyline.

[Crystal · Rating 5 out of 5]

Grunow’s skillfully crafted memoir stuns readers with raw honesty in her search for a fulfilling and lifelong, romantic relationship. She expertly keeps the readers engaged as we follow her across the country and back again. She has us cheering for her and hoping for good things as the story moves along. We feel her defeat, confusion, passion and frustration page by page. This is the trademark of a great storyteller and this is what readers experience in Grunow’s memoir. The unfolding journey portrays Grunow’s growth as she draws strength from within herself and from those family and friends who are mutually supportive of one another.

Grunow’s narrative ability stands out with her skill at weaving themes throughout the book with the opening on the rapids of the Rio Grande as an indication of the turmoil that will ensue throughout the book. It is truly a book that was hard to put down once I started it. She writes about her friends in such a way that I had my favorites and hated to see them move out of her life. And I loved Duke! You’ll just have to read the book to find out about him. Melissa Grunow is a woman following her heart where it leads in her memoir Realizing River City.
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[Linda Sienkiewicz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rare is the person who can look honestly at their life and relationship patterns, and then act on what they see. Many of us stumble through, blaming bad luck or bad men/women. Introspection takes much more courage, and I commend author Melissa Grunow for hers. It's hard to recognize why things are going sour when we have been taught to give more than we get, and to be compassionate and patient with others -- in other words, be nice. Being nice is fine unless you're always compromising or selling yourself short. Ms. Grunow endures and grieves the failure of a marriage and several relationships before she realizes it's "no use fighting with someone who didn't see me worth fighting for." When she makes this realization, she acts decisively and swiftly, so much so that she doesn't recognize her own assertiveness. As a reader, I was so invested in her fight that I wanted to give her a high five. That's the hallmark of a great read.

[Nancy Nelson · Rating 5 out of 5]

The "Prologue" of "River City" starts the reader on a compelling journey forward with the narrator, from a precarious canoe trip through a number of episodes in which she seeks a right relationship. Ultimately, Grunow resolves that "the most important relationship is the one we have with ourselves" (back cover).

The narrative is rich with description of place and character, and the book's resolution is satisfying.

As a women, I can identify with Melissa Grunow's desire to seek a partner and I rejoice in her discovery of her own voice.

[Mary Thomas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Realizing River City is an honest and engaging memoir of a woman's struggle to find one meaningful relationship in a sea of many failed ones. The book is intertwined with a wonderful comparison to the ebbs and flows of a river. I loved the ending, full of hope and promise!

[Melissa Grunow · Rating 5 out of 5]

I mean, I wrote it, and it's won two awards so far, so I can stand behind a 5-star rating.