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Finding God in the Waves: How I Lost My Faith and Found It Again Through Science
From the host of the popular podcasts, The Liturgists Podcast and Ask Science Mike, a story of having faith, losing it, and finding it again through science—revealing how the latest in neuroscience, physics, and biology help us understand God, faith, and ourselves.
What do you do when God dies? It's a question facing millions today, as science reveals a Universe that's self-creating, as American culture departs from Christian social norms, and the idea of God begins to seem implausible at best and barbaric at worst.
Mike McHargue understands the pain of unraveling belief. In Finding God in the Waves, Mike tells the story of how his Evangelical faith dissolved into atheism as he studied the Bible, a crisis that threatened his life, his friendships, and even his marriage. Years later, Mike was standing on the shores of the Pacific Ocean when a bewildering, seemingly mystical moment motivated him to take another look. But this time, it wasn't theology or scripture that led him back to God—it was science.
In Finding God in the Waves, "Science Mike” draws on his personal experience to tell the unlikely story of how science led him back to faith. Among other revelations, we learn what brain scans reveal about what happens when we pray; how fundamentalism affects the psyche; and how God is revealed not only in scripture, but in the night sky, in subatomic particles, and in us.
For the faithful and skeptic alike, Finding God in the Waves is a winsome, lucid, page-turning read about belonging, life’s biggest questions, and the hope of knowing God in an age of science.
What do you do when God dies? It's a question facing millions today, as science reveals a Universe that's self-creating, as American culture departs from Christian social norms, and the idea of God begins to seem implausible at best and barbaric at worst.
Mike McHargue understands the pain of unraveling belief. In Finding God in the Waves, Mike tells the story of how his Evangelical faith dissolved into atheism as he studied the Bible, a crisis that threatened his life, his friendships, and even his marriage. Years later, Mike was standing on the shores of the Pacific Ocean when a bewildering, seemingly mystical moment motivated him to take another look. But this time, it wasn't theology or scripture that led him back to God—it was science.
In Finding God in the Waves, "Science Mike” draws on his personal experience to tell the unlikely story of how science led him back to faith. Among other revelations, we learn what brain scans reveal about what happens when we pray; how fundamentalism affects the psyche; and how God is revealed not only in scripture, but in the night sky, in subatomic particles, and in us.
For the faithful and skeptic alike, Finding God in the Waves is a winsome, lucid, page-turning read about belonging, life’s biggest questions, and the hope of knowing God in an age of science.
270 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 13, 2016
About the author
Mike McHargue
5 books770 followersMike McHargue is a public educator trusted by millions to use empathy and deep scientific insights to help them navigate some of the most difficult parts of the human experience. He’s the host of Ask Science Mike, co-founded the chart-topping show The Liturgists Podcast, is the bestselling author of Finding God in the Waves, and You’re a Miracle (and a Pain in the Ass), and works as a science advisor and story consultant for film and television working with clients including Marvel Studios and Pete Holmes.
Mike has been featured in The Atlantic, The New York Times, The Washington Post, NPR, The Huffington Post, and scores of other notable publications. Mike is an in-demand speaker appearing all over the world—including appearances at Google and MIT. Mike’s next book You are a Miracle (and a Pain in the Ass) comes out on April 28, 2020.
Mike lives in Los Angeles, CA with his wife Jenny, his daughters Madison and Macey, and their beloved dog, Ruby.
Mike has been featured in The Atlantic, The New York Times, The Washington Post, NPR, The Huffington Post, and scores of other notable publications. Mike is an in-demand speaker appearing all over the world—including appearances at Google and MIT. Mike’s next book You are a Miracle (and a Pain in the Ass) comes out on April 28, 2020.
Mike lives in Los Angeles, CA with his wife Jenny, his daughters Madison and Macey, and their beloved dog, Ruby.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 634 reviews
May 11, 2016
It's easily the best book I've ever written. Of course, it's also the only book I've ever written.
September 14, 2016
This book is incredible. I read it in less than twenty-four hours (it came out yesterday). Mike McHargue is one of the best things to happen to progressive Christianity and to anyone who is wondering how (or if) they can be a person of faith in an intellectual, modern world that seems like it's leaving (mainstream evangelical) Christianity behind.
The target audience for this book is probably not firmly committed Christians - in fact, McHargue pulls so few punches in describing his journey into atheism that I'm pretty sure this book could trigger a collapse of faith in a typical evangelical reader. The first half is raw and unflinching, and if you stopped reading there, it would be more effective than Dawkins' "The God Delusion" because it presents the same information with none of the arrogant condescension. If you had never been exposed to these arguments before, they could wreck you.
I have been already, and they raised a lot of questions, which is why I *am* part of the target demographic for this book. The second half, in which McHargue uses cosmology, neuroscience, and empirical data to try and put his broken faith back together again, is handled with honesty and transparency. His work on the podcasts "Ask Science Mike" and "The Liturgists" has already been profoundly influential on my attempts to sort through my own theology, so I loved reading a detailed view of his process.
I have no tolerance for pompous, contempt-filled atheists and equally little tolerance for anti-intellectual, backwards-thinking Christians. This book contains zero trace of either, just a fair-handed, even examination of both sides and then a possible middle path. As someone who works at a progressive church trying to balance faith and intellect, I see this book as foundational - a crucial, needed voice in what (I am hoping) will become a growing movement.
The target audience for this book is probably not firmly committed Christians - in fact, McHargue pulls so few punches in describing his journey into atheism that I'm pretty sure this book could trigger a collapse of faith in a typical evangelical reader. The first half is raw and unflinching, and if you stopped reading there, it would be more effective than Dawkins' "The God Delusion" because it presents the same information with none of the arrogant condescension. If you had never been exposed to these arguments before, they could wreck you.
I have been already, and they raised a lot of questions, which is why I *am* part of the target demographic for this book. The second half, in which McHargue uses cosmology, neuroscience, and empirical data to try and put his broken faith back together again, is handled with honesty and transparency. His work on the podcasts "Ask Science Mike" and "The Liturgists" has already been profoundly influential on my attempts to sort through my own theology, so I loved reading a detailed view of his process.
I have no tolerance for pompous, contempt-filled atheists and equally little tolerance for anti-intellectual, backwards-thinking Christians. This book contains zero trace of either, just a fair-handed, even examination of both sides and then a possible middle path. As someone who works at a progressive church trying to balance faith and intellect, I see this book as foundational - a crucial, needed voice in what (I am hoping) will become a growing movement.
September 29, 2016
I loved the first half of the book, but felt like I got gut-punched in the second half. I should say that I don't believe in the Young Earth view, and I do believe in evolution. I read Language of God last year and was happy (and relieved) to find a book that was honest and forthright about evolution and didn't use it as a means of dismantling Christian faith. So when I saw this book and read some reviews, I was excited to read it. However, I do think it's sorta mis-marketed.
The fact that this was marketed as a guy finding his way back to God through science is somewhat disingenuous. Even if the author himself is sincere and not at all disingenuous (which I think is the case). He's basically saying, "i'm pretty sure there is a God, and you can make the case for it." "I'm pretty sure Jesus was an actual person, and nobody would call you crazy for thinking that." "Prayer works, but it doesn't necessarily have everything to do with 'God.'" He even tells the story of a woman who immersed herself in the beliefs and practices of the Vineyard (without actually "buying into the beliefs" herself) and after a year or so had a deeply mystical experience. So, it's all about training our brains with the correct neural pathways.
I'm just at a loss, really. I don't even know how to review this book. If you're looking for a book that talks about how science and an orthodox Christian faith can be reconciled, this isn't it. It's not that a real, deep and sincere faith can't be reconciled with science. The Language of God would be a great book to read for that (although it's mainly about evolution).
This is more of a mid-journey memoir about a guy who did (and does) love Jesus, but got blindsided by a literalist reading of the bible, and slowly fell away until he could only consider himself an atheist. He wandered around keeping it all a secret and then had an undeniable, unscientific spiritual/mystical experience on a beach. He slowly started piecing together bits and pieces of his old faith, while trying to stay true to what he knew and believed about science. He believes in evolution, doesn't think Adam and Eve were literal people and acknowledges that the Bible is full of contradictions. He kinda goes back and forth on the resurrection. And though he still wrestles with doubt and doesn't find himself back in the same old church pew, he does find himself back in the fold, back in prayer, back in a belief in a God who loves us and saves us and is with us, wherever and whenever we wander and doubt.
The fact that this was marketed as a guy finding his way back to God through science is somewhat disingenuous. Even if the author himself is sincere and not at all disingenuous (which I think is the case). He's basically saying, "i'm pretty sure there is a God, and you can make the case for it." "I'm pretty sure Jesus was an actual person, and nobody would call you crazy for thinking that." "Prayer works, but it doesn't necessarily have everything to do with 'God.'" He even tells the story of a woman who immersed herself in the beliefs and practices of the Vineyard (without actually "buying into the beliefs" herself) and after a year or so had a deeply mystical experience. So, it's all about training our brains with the correct neural pathways.
I'm just at a loss, really. I don't even know how to review this book. If you're looking for a book that talks about how science and an orthodox Christian faith can be reconciled, this isn't it. It's not that a real, deep and sincere faith can't be reconciled with science. The Language of God would be a great book to read for that (although it's mainly about evolution).
This is more of a mid-journey memoir about a guy who did (and does) love Jesus, but got blindsided by a literalist reading of the bible, and slowly fell away until he could only consider himself an atheist. He wandered around keeping it all a secret and then had an undeniable, unscientific spiritual/mystical experience on a beach. He slowly started piecing together bits and pieces of his old faith, while trying to stay true to what he knew and believed about science. He believes in evolution, doesn't think Adam and Eve were literal people and acknowledges that the Bible is full of contradictions. He kinda goes back and forth on the resurrection. And though he still wrestles with doubt and doesn't find himself back in the same old church pew, he does find himself back in the fold, back in prayer, back in a belief in a God who loves us and saves us and is with us, wherever and whenever we wander and doubt.
July 17, 2021
As the subtitle states, Finding God in the Waves is about a man who was Christian, lost his faith, but returned to it because of science. During his evolution, McHargue went from someone who analyzed God to someone who embraced the mystery of God. One of the things I liked about his writing is that it is beautiful and vivid. The first half of the book focuses on his church upbringing, his atheist phase, and then his gradual return after having a “mystical experience” at a conference.
The second half of the book focuses on science and religion and shows how there is “no scientific evidence that religion is bad for you”. He shares studies that show how prayer has the same positive effect on the brain as meditation or going to see a therapist. I also enjoyed reading about his unique view of resurrection and how it’s everywhere we look. My biggest takeaway from his book is that the church can sometimes be a huge part of pushing people away from the faith rather than leading them to it. Churches need to be a place for doubters to feel safe and wanted, not ostracized, it should give them love and grace. McHargue argues that churches should be safe places and it should also be a place that challenges you.
The second half of the book focuses on science and religion and shows how there is “no scientific evidence that religion is bad for you”. He shares studies that show how prayer has the same positive effect on the brain as meditation or going to see a therapist. I also enjoyed reading about his unique view of resurrection and how it’s everywhere we look. My biggest takeaway from his book is that the church can sometimes be a huge part of pushing people away from the faith rather than leading them to it. Churches need to be a place for doubters to feel safe and wanted, not ostracized, it should give them love and grace. McHargue argues that churches should be safe places and it should also be a place that challenges you.
September 16, 2016
Having been taught to stay away from some scientific ideas throughout my early life, I was amazed at how much I found God in those same ideas over the past few years. After watching Neil Degrasse Tyson's show "The Cosmos," I was surprisingly taken into a place of awe for God. I began to make science an important study in my Christian life. I especially love learning about space and how vast and complex God's work is.
Interestingly enough, I'm also an avid charismatic which came from a few years in a Pentecostal church. I've seen God's supernatural ways at work over and over again to a point that I cannot deny it.
I found McHargue's testimony to be amazing. I didn't resonate with shared feelings all the time, but I recognized his story in many others and loved the honesty and straightforwardness.
Unfortunately, I was very hurt by his chapters on resurrection and forward. I wasn't hurt by his personality—the man writes and loves and cares about people like few books I have read. But I was hurt by there being so much emphasis on science at that point that there didn't really seem to be any balance of faith from then on out.
That being said, I find his story to be amazing but his theology to lack much balance with faith and yes, to be dangerous and out of sync with a lot of trusted tradition. I know it's his story, but as a pastor I fear for people to read that section of the book blindly.
There's plenty I loved and learned from this book outside of these chapters though, so it's very difficult to review.
Interestingly enough, I'm also an avid charismatic which came from a few years in a Pentecostal church. I've seen God's supernatural ways at work over and over again to a point that I cannot deny it.
I found McHargue's testimony to be amazing. I didn't resonate with shared feelings all the time, but I recognized his story in many others and loved the honesty and straightforwardness.
Unfortunately, I was very hurt by his chapters on resurrection and forward. I wasn't hurt by his personality—the man writes and loves and cares about people like few books I have read. But I was hurt by there being so much emphasis on science at that point that there didn't really seem to be any balance of faith from then on out.
That being said, I find his story to be amazing but his theology to lack much balance with faith and yes, to be dangerous and out of sync with a lot of trusted tradition. I know it's his story, but as a pastor I fear for people to read that section of the book blindly.
There's plenty I loved and learned from this book outside of these chapters though, so it's very difficult to review.
September 18, 2016
I first heard Mike on Pete Holme's podcast "You Made It Weird" (because I had been listening to his podcast for years). At that moment in my life I was in a mournful period of unraveling and walking away from my traditional beliefs. It seemed Mike's thoughts where my own, even some experiences mirrored mine (parents divorce, bullied kid, etc). Since that show I've talked with Mike (via email) a few times and have continued to explore new ways to understand the world more realistically, more logically, and more scientifically.
I've heard most of what's in the book in some form from Mike and others. I'm sure many people who consider themselves "Christian" or even "religious" will have issues with what Mike discusses so honestly, earnestly, and methodically. Despite the many months (maybe even years?) of reading and listening to Mike, I still find myself in the middle of antipathy and belief. I do not consider myself an atheist, but I do not consider myself a "Christian" (by nearly any definition of the word).
This book is challenging. I grew up in the church. I grew up in a tradition of strong theological focus (Presbyterian). My beliefs are hard-wired into my identity. Removing them completely from my worldview might be impossible, but I'm also unable (or unwilling) to accept, adapt, or reconcile so many things I once thought were not just truth, but fact so that my "hard-wiring" remains. I feel disingenuous pretending to believe something for the benefit of gaining comfort (not that my life doesn't already have those) while building a bridge between what I know and what I believe.
My entire life will likely be spent wrestling with these topics, and what I appreciate most about this book is the extraordinary care that is given to avoiding absolutism, certainty, fear-mongering, or condemnation. The axioms of faith Mike has developed are brilliant and succinct, and might be the most impactful words to refining my views that I've read in many many years.
I've heard most of what's in the book in some form from Mike and others. I'm sure many people who consider themselves "Christian" or even "religious" will have issues with what Mike discusses so honestly, earnestly, and methodically. Despite the many months (maybe even years?) of reading and listening to Mike, I still find myself in the middle of antipathy and belief. I do not consider myself an atheist, but I do not consider myself a "Christian" (by nearly any definition of the word).
This book is challenging. I grew up in the church. I grew up in a tradition of strong theological focus (Presbyterian). My beliefs are hard-wired into my identity. Removing them completely from my worldview might be impossible, but I'm also unable (or unwilling) to accept, adapt, or reconcile so many things I once thought were not just truth, but fact so that my "hard-wiring" remains. I feel disingenuous pretending to believe something for the benefit of gaining comfort (not that my life doesn't already have those) while building a bridge between what I know and what I believe.
My entire life will likely be spent wrestling with these topics, and what I appreciate most about this book is the extraordinary care that is given to avoiding absolutism, certainty, fear-mongering, or condemnation. The axioms of faith Mike has developed are brilliant and succinct, and might be the most impactful words to refining my views that I've read in many many years.
April 14, 2017
For anyone struggling to reconcile faith and science, this is a beautiful half-memoir, half-science book that I heartily recommend.
While I may not agree with the author on absolutely everything, (although, when can two people completely agree when it comes to something as mysterious, undefinable, and experiential as God?), I found this book inspiring and absolutely delightful to read.
I very much appreciate Mike's vulnerability and authenticity as he shares his personal story. And the science parts were accessible, easy to understand, and downright fascinating.
I just loved this book, okay?
I loved it.
While I may not agree with the author on absolutely everything, (although, when can two people completely agree when it comes to something as mysterious, undefinable, and experiential as God?), I found this book inspiring and absolutely delightful to read.
I very much appreciate Mike's vulnerability and authenticity as he shares his personal story. And the science parts were accessible, easy to understand, and downright fascinating.
I just loved this book, okay?
I loved it.
December 3, 2016
I found his arguments against God and Christianity stronger than his arguments and reasons for. He sees the Bible as (merely?) art, isn't sure about Jesus' resurrection (not sure what he thinks about his divinity), and sometimes seems to suggest that you have to turn the logical, reasoning part of your brain off (or keep it separate) and just experience God in order to believe. Maybe I missed the point, but if so, the fact that that is possible means I can't recommend this book to others
May 1, 2017
I really like Science Mike. I listen to his podcast, though I have fallen behind. He even included my emailed question in one of his episodes, and his answer was kind, thoughtful, and well spoken. I find his axioms helpful. I was reading his blog and listening to his podcast when still a believer, and was still listening and reading through my loss of faith and the grief that followed. I was looking forward to this book. I'm sorry to say that I was disappointed, and truly, actually heartbroken that this is so.
I know now that my hope for this book obviously created a greater expectation than it could reach. I want my faith back. I read this book. It isn't back.
It may seem strange, silly, or naive to approach any book this way. However, I've followed Mike's work enough to know that he likely has a similar hope for his readers as I had for myself as a reader. Mike wants those who want to have faith yet struggle to have that faith. Maybe this book would work for some. It did not for me.
My story is not like Mike's. Furthermore, I do not hear in this book an understanding from Mike that anyone could even have a story like mine. This was extremely frustrating. When Mike lost his faith, he was reading the Bible like a fundamentalist literalist, and then also reading criticisms of the Bible from atheists who read it the same way. I, however, had rejected that reading of the Bible over a decade before my deconversion, and had been reading the Bible as Mike describes his reading of the Bible now for many years. He references Peter Enns, whose book I read last year, and in which I found an accessible description of a way to read the Bible that I had assumed for many years, and did not consider particularly progressive or radical. In fact, I was an evangelical pastor, lead pastor in my church in Canada, preaching expositional sermons at least forty times a year with this understanding of the Bible, without much difficulty or push back. I read the Bible through several times a year, for several years, and loved it, without a fundamentalist or literalist framework. And now, as an unbeliever, I still love the Bible over all other literature. I've tried the Qur'an since losing my faith. It isn't the same. But even with my knowledge of and love for the Bible, I do not have my faith.
I accepted evolution before even becoming a pastor, and even included my reasons why in sermons on Sunday morning. I accepted and affirmed LGBTQ sexual activity and relationships before my deconversion (but after leaving the ministry). Permission given by this book to believe these things as a Christian does not convince me I can be one.
As Mike happily shares in this book, I already know Jesus was an historical figure, and am still excited by the stories of his life, and the strong likelihood that he was crucified, meaning that he died as an insurrectionist against empire. I still seek to emulate him. But I also miss the feeling of his constant presence.
I no longer pray. However, I have learned to meditate, and am aware that the practice has the same physical and emotional health benefits as prayer. In fact, I meditate more often and more deeply now than I ever prayed. So Mike's encouragements to pray for the health benefits simply do not help me have reason to believe.
Mike himself describes the ways in which those who do not believe explicitly in a god or spirituality can still have mystical experiences, live ethically, and find meaning. His description of God as he understands God to be is interesting, but I do not find it helpful for connecting to a real, personal god if such a god actually exists. In fact, I failed to find clear evidence in this book that Mike even literally believes that such a god literally exists. It seems to me that Carl Sagan, were he alive, could read Mike's understanding of a god, and concede that he also has similar feelings of awe at the waves he observes in gravity or the movement of particles, without being a theist. This is a far cry from the personal god I so miss.
The most frustrating and heartbreaking part of the book for me though, was the chapter on church. I believe Mike that church is important, not just for belief, but for all around well-being and all over health. However, I was enormously disheartened by his insistence that not only does he not believe this can ever be truly found outside of organized church, combined with his cheery, simple assurance that there really is a church for everyone. He even went as far as to use himself as an example of how if he could find a church to accept him, then anyone can. I cried.
Mike is not as weird as he thinks he is. Furthermore, he seems wholly naive to the cultural experiences of those outside the Southern United States. I am not convinced that anyone can find a church because a young, white, married, heterosexual, educated, published, (self described) extroverted, friendly, neurotypical man is able to find a church in a part of the world more populated with churches than literally anywhere else on earth. This part of the book and the assumptions it contained upset me so much that I intend to write Mike a letter asking him to expand and rewrite it in newer editions. Most people on earth do not have his privilege to easily travel to whatever flavour of church they like to find one that fits them. Some towns only have three churches. Some people don't own cars. Some people have needs for accommodation for their family, or for physical or mental disability that are simply unavailable within three hundred kilometres of their residence. Some are bound by poverty to their work and are simply unable to attend to participate in a congregation close to them. Some are ethnic or sexual minorities that cannot find an accessible church in which they do not find prejudice. Some don't have a church nearby that speaks their language.
I miss church. Terribly. I am writing this review up late on a Saturday night, deeply saddened that I cannot join my family for church tomorrow morning, so far the closest church we could find in this small town to an ideal one for me, because my anxiety disorder is once again keeping me away.
I escaped spiritual abuse. This led to my leaving ministry, and eventually was a large part of losing my faith. We thought we had found a church that would not trigger me. It turns out that it has my triggers.
Mike's book describes him coming back to a faith that is only a relative shade left of the faith that I had when I lost mine. I am happy for him. I wish his story could help me return also.
Despite my disappointment in what is mostly the second half of this book, I found the first half of the book helpful and interesting. It is here where Mike has most of his scientific content. His descriptions of what goes on in the brain of a believer was especially insightful. He speaks with incredible clarity about concepts far beyond most lay persons' understanding. He puts it together in ways engaging and insightful. I felt like I understood myself and my own experiences better having read it. I believe that the weakness in the second half is largely because of Mike's ignorance of the Bible, theology, and church culture, compared to the first half where he is so strong in his understanding of science. I would be very, very happy to read a follow up book co-authored by Science Mike with another author with a deep knowledge of biblical theology and historical Christian theology, and a greater breadth of knowledge of Christian culture worldwide.
Until then, I recommend this book to North American evangelicals who are mildly frustrated with church culture, who question their faith but wish to keep it, and who either already have a church, or are likely to find one easily. I do not recommend this book to anyone seeking a reason to believe who does not have faith, or anyone seeking to regain it once it has been lost.
Despite this, I do still recommend Science Mike's blog and podcast, as well as The Liturgists podcast, which I continue to follow as I continue to seek a reason to believe and a way to express it.
+
EDIT, APRIL 30, 2017
Re. Waking Up by Sam Harris
Several times as I read Waking Up I was reminded of having read another book this year by the name Finding God In The Waves: How I Lost My Faith And Found It Again Through Science by Mike McHargue aka Science Mike. I had high hopes for that book that it did not come close to fulfilling. This book, however, filled the role I hoped for that book. Readers interested in Science Mike's book may do better to read this one instead. It has a lot of the same material, but is better written, with a greater intellectual rigour, and contains far more extensive notes.
(I also have a short review of Waking Up on Goodreads)
I know now that my hope for this book obviously created a greater expectation than it could reach. I want my faith back. I read this book. It isn't back.
It may seem strange, silly, or naive to approach any book this way. However, I've followed Mike's work enough to know that he likely has a similar hope for his readers as I had for myself as a reader. Mike wants those who want to have faith yet struggle to have that faith. Maybe this book would work for some. It did not for me.
My story is not like Mike's. Furthermore, I do not hear in this book an understanding from Mike that anyone could even have a story like mine. This was extremely frustrating. When Mike lost his faith, he was reading the Bible like a fundamentalist literalist, and then also reading criticisms of the Bible from atheists who read it the same way. I, however, had rejected that reading of the Bible over a decade before my deconversion, and had been reading the Bible as Mike describes his reading of the Bible now for many years. He references Peter Enns, whose book I read last year, and in which I found an accessible description of a way to read the Bible that I had assumed for many years, and did not consider particularly progressive or radical. In fact, I was an evangelical pastor, lead pastor in my church in Canada, preaching expositional sermons at least forty times a year with this understanding of the Bible, without much difficulty or push back. I read the Bible through several times a year, for several years, and loved it, without a fundamentalist or literalist framework. And now, as an unbeliever, I still love the Bible over all other literature. I've tried the Qur'an since losing my faith. It isn't the same. But even with my knowledge of and love for the Bible, I do not have my faith.
I accepted evolution before even becoming a pastor, and even included my reasons why in sermons on Sunday morning. I accepted and affirmed LGBTQ sexual activity and relationships before my deconversion (but after leaving the ministry). Permission given by this book to believe these things as a Christian does not convince me I can be one.
As Mike happily shares in this book, I already know Jesus was an historical figure, and am still excited by the stories of his life, and the strong likelihood that he was crucified, meaning that he died as an insurrectionist against empire. I still seek to emulate him. But I also miss the feeling of his constant presence.
I no longer pray. However, I have learned to meditate, and am aware that the practice has the same physical and emotional health benefits as prayer. In fact, I meditate more often and more deeply now than I ever prayed. So Mike's encouragements to pray for the health benefits simply do not help me have reason to believe.
Mike himself describes the ways in which those who do not believe explicitly in a god or spirituality can still have mystical experiences, live ethically, and find meaning. His description of God as he understands God to be is interesting, but I do not find it helpful for connecting to a real, personal god if such a god actually exists. In fact, I failed to find clear evidence in this book that Mike even literally believes that such a god literally exists. It seems to me that Carl Sagan, were he alive, could read Mike's understanding of a god, and concede that he also has similar feelings of awe at the waves he observes in gravity or the movement of particles, without being a theist. This is a far cry from the personal god I so miss.
The most frustrating and heartbreaking part of the book for me though, was the chapter on church. I believe Mike that church is important, not just for belief, but for all around well-being and all over health. However, I was enormously disheartened by his insistence that not only does he not believe this can ever be truly found outside of organized church, combined with his cheery, simple assurance that there really is a church for everyone. He even went as far as to use himself as an example of how if he could find a church to accept him, then anyone can. I cried.
Mike is not as weird as he thinks he is. Furthermore, he seems wholly naive to the cultural experiences of those outside the Southern United States. I am not convinced that anyone can find a church because a young, white, married, heterosexual, educated, published, (self described) extroverted, friendly, neurotypical man is able to find a church in a part of the world more populated with churches than literally anywhere else on earth. This part of the book and the assumptions it contained upset me so much that I intend to write Mike a letter asking him to expand and rewrite it in newer editions. Most people on earth do not have his privilege to easily travel to whatever flavour of church they like to find one that fits them. Some towns only have three churches. Some people don't own cars. Some people have needs for accommodation for their family, or for physical or mental disability that are simply unavailable within three hundred kilometres of their residence. Some are bound by poverty to their work and are simply unable to attend to participate in a congregation close to them. Some are ethnic or sexual minorities that cannot find an accessible church in which they do not find prejudice. Some don't have a church nearby that speaks their language.
I miss church. Terribly. I am writing this review up late on a Saturday night, deeply saddened that I cannot join my family for church tomorrow morning, so far the closest church we could find in this small town to an ideal one for me, because my anxiety disorder is once again keeping me away.
I escaped spiritual abuse. This led to my leaving ministry, and eventually was a large part of losing my faith. We thought we had found a church that would not trigger me. It turns out that it has my triggers.
Mike's book describes him coming back to a faith that is only a relative shade left of the faith that I had when I lost mine. I am happy for him. I wish his story could help me return also.
Despite my disappointment in what is mostly the second half of this book, I found the first half of the book helpful and interesting. It is here where Mike has most of his scientific content. His descriptions of what goes on in the brain of a believer was especially insightful. He speaks with incredible clarity about concepts far beyond most lay persons' understanding. He puts it together in ways engaging and insightful. I felt like I understood myself and my own experiences better having read it. I believe that the weakness in the second half is largely because of Mike's ignorance of the Bible, theology, and church culture, compared to the first half where he is so strong in his understanding of science. I would be very, very happy to read a follow up book co-authored by Science Mike with another author with a deep knowledge of biblical theology and historical Christian theology, and a greater breadth of knowledge of Christian culture worldwide.
Until then, I recommend this book to North American evangelicals who are mildly frustrated with church culture, who question their faith but wish to keep it, and who either already have a church, or are likely to find one easily. I do not recommend this book to anyone seeking a reason to believe who does not have faith, or anyone seeking to regain it once it has been lost.
Despite this, I do still recommend Science Mike's blog and podcast, as well as The Liturgists podcast, which I continue to follow as I continue to seek a reason to believe and a way to express it.
+
EDIT, APRIL 30, 2017
Re. Waking Up by Sam Harris
Several times as I read Waking Up I was reminded of having read another book this year by the name Finding God In The Waves: How I Lost My Faith And Found It Again Through Science by Mike McHargue aka Science Mike. I had high hopes for that book that it did not come close to fulfilling. This book, however, filled the role I hoped for that book. Readers interested in Science Mike's book may do better to read this one instead. It has a lot of the same material, but is better written, with a greater intellectual rigour, and contains far more extensive notes.
(I also have a short review of Waking Up on Goodreads)
June 23, 2017
I've been a huge fan of Mike's podcast (Ask Science Mike and the Liturgists.) I have heard his story through these avenues and was excited to read this book.
The first half of this book - the story of how he lost his faith - was so honest and helpful for me. It was well written and I'm sure will be a comfort for many like it was for me.
The game changer for me was the chapter on prayer. Mike uses science to show us how God is experienced in the brain and how prayer and meditation can be used to help us feel closer to God, even if we aren't sure who or what God is. It has inspired me to continue spiritual practices even in the midst of doubt. It has changed how I approach prayer and meditation and has given me hope.
The first half of this book - the story of how he lost his faith - was so honest and helpful for me. It was well written and I'm sure will be a comfort for many like it was for me.
The game changer for me was the chapter on prayer. Mike uses science to show us how God is experienced in the brain and how prayer and meditation can be used to help us feel closer to God, even if we aren't sure who or what God is. It has inspired me to continue spiritual practices even in the midst of doubt. It has changed how I approach prayer and meditation and has given me hope.
July 23, 2023
Really lovely memoir. I mostly just want to give Science Mike a big hug after listening to this.
Also to say in a way, me too. Not in the sense that we’ve shared a similar journey, but in that we’ve shared the pain and confusion and loneliness of being on any journey at all, and found something worth holding on to on the other side—even if it’s different from what we had before.
Grace, patience, and peace for all those also journeying. Thank you Mike.
Also to say in a way, me too. Not in the sense that we’ve shared a similar journey, but in that we’ve shared the pain and confusion and loneliness of being on any journey at all, and found something worth holding on to on the other side—even if it’s different from what we had before.
Grace, patience, and peace for all those also journeying. Thank you Mike.
December 28, 2020
If you're pretty firmly in the Evangelical and/or Apologetics camp, this book will not be for you. It does not argue proof of God's existence. It also doesn't argue against it. But if you've ever fallen hard from pedestal of your faith (even if not all the way into atheism as Mike did) this book will help you feel less alone.
I know from personal experience that if you haven't had a faith deconstruction, it is impossible to understand one. The verses you pull from scripture ARE a reasonable talking point in your mind. Everything you've said IS a solid argument that should help lead your struggling friend back toward God. Anything other than certainty in the evidence you've provided is just arrogance, anger, and sinful nature. But I also know from personal experience that scripture verses & apologetics is not what someone in a faith deconstruction needs. They will not respond to shame, or the assumption that they haven't read their Bible. They do not need to be "educated". Doubt can't be beaten with willpower. If someone had faith and has now lost (some or all of) it in any way, they are grieving. Their heart is broken. What they need is grace and love.
Mike's book doesn't wrap up with a little bow. He doesn't teach the reader how to reconcile their faith in God with science and/or skepticism. This is simply Mike's story of losing his faith and finding it again. Mike is still smack in the middle of this journey like so many of us, and his book won't get you to the finish line where everything feels safe and certain again (In fact, reading this felt a little like poking a bruise for me). But it will help you know that you're not alone out here in the woods.
I'm not interested in Apologetics or a faith that requires a denial of science (note: these aren't necessarily the same thing). But I'm also not interested in the pompous assumption that one can't be a Christian and an intellectual at the same time. This book provides none of that. It shines a light on the middle ground that many of us find ourselves walking. A path of both logic & liturgy, skepticism & spiritually, facts & faith. This path is full of uncertainty, but also full of hope, and there are more of us here than we realize. 💛
I know from personal experience that if you haven't had a faith deconstruction, it is impossible to understand one. The verses you pull from scripture ARE a reasonable talking point in your mind. Everything you've said IS a solid argument that should help lead your struggling friend back toward God. Anything other than certainty in the evidence you've provided is just arrogance, anger, and sinful nature. But I also know from personal experience that scripture verses & apologetics is not what someone in a faith deconstruction needs. They will not respond to shame, or the assumption that they haven't read their Bible. They do not need to be "educated". Doubt can't be beaten with willpower. If someone had faith and has now lost (some or all of) it in any way, they are grieving. Their heart is broken. What they need is grace and love.
Mike's book doesn't wrap up with a little bow. He doesn't teach the reader how to reconcile their faith in God with science and/or skepticism. This is simply Mike's story of losing his faith and finding it again. Mike is still smack in the middle of this journey like so many of us, and his book won't get you to the finish line where everything feels safe and certain again (In fact, reading this felt a little like poking a bruise for me). But it will help you know that you're not alone out here in the woods.
I'm not interested in Apologetics or a faith that requires a denial of science (note: these aren't necessarily the same thing). But I'm also not interested in the pompous assumption that one can't be a Christian and an intellectual at the same time. This book provides none of that. It shines a light on the middle ground that many of us find ourselves walking. A path of both logic & liturgy, skepticism & spiritually, facts & faith. This path is full of uncertainty, but also full of hope, and there are more of us here than we realize. 💛
March 21, 2026
Phew. This book was not what I expected…
This came up as one of the suggested listens on the audiobook app I use. I thought it an interesting topic and was curious as to what it would have to say connecting God and sciences. I patiently waited, listening to the author narrate is whole life story…and I waited…
I would turn the volume up and focus when he would build up the anticipation that facts were about to be conveyed, but almost every time, I was left hanging.
He talks a big game about being “a super nerd that loves physics, neurology, and cosmology”. I don’t doubt he knows his stuff, but the only “science” he could provide was, “When someone is thinking about God while receiving a brain scan, a particular area of the brain lights up compared to that of an atheist. Thus, the believer has built up neural networks making God real in your mind.” This was a recurring theme and he frequently used brain scans as his means of evidence.
Now for the less objective part of the review. I can see what he was doing with his new definitions (or “axioms”) for God and prayer, but once he started claiming climate change was an imminent threat, made the phrase “…the black sheep of the gospel authors is whoever it was who wrote John”, and emotionally declared “…I find God in the sound waves…in the quiet sobbing in those who say, under impossible assault, ‘I can’t breathe’”, I began thinking, “He must be Methodist”. Sure enough, he described how when searching for a new church, what appeared most important to him was how many women were in the leadership and essentially if it would be preached that everyone should win a trophy, and he found that in the Good Samaritan Methodist Church.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I was not forced to read this book and easily could have quit while ahead. But, since I don’t like to not finish books and was curious how far he’d go, I think it only appropriate to inform others what lies ahead if you choose to read this. In my opinion, it didn’t provide very much substantial science except for vague connections and assumptions. I also wasn’t prepared for him to explain that the only way he could call himself a Christian (which he declared was “too loaded and carried too many assumptions” since being a Christian “can invoke troubling historical baggage: colonialism, imperialism, systemic and personal racism, sexism, homophobia”) was to essentially accept a belief that was flexible to whatever makes HIM most comfortable and aligns with what HE believes and how HE interprets the Bible (which apparently is FULL of contradictions and was actually written with said contradictions on purpose).
About the first 93% of the book was fine without major rifts, but gracious, did he let it fly for the last 7%! Even into his “Authors Note” was he compelled to comfort a subset of his readers by apologizing for referring to God as “He” or “Him”, because at the time of his writing of the book, that was how he normally addressed God. And that “Today, I don’t think of God having a gender at all…and even the Bible contains feminine images of God.”
😳
This came up as one of the suggested listens on the audiobook app I use. I thought it an interesting topic and was curious as to what it would have to say connecting God and sciences. I patiently waited, listening to the author narrate is whole life story…and I waited…
I would turn the volume up and focus when he would build up the anticipation that facts were about to be conveyed, but almost every time, I was left hanging.
He talks a big game about being “a super nerd that loves physics, neurology, and cosmology”. I don’t doubt he knows his stuff, but the only “science” he could provide was, “When someone is thinking about God while receiving a brain scan, a particular area of the brain lights up compared to that of an atheist. Thus, the believer has built up neural networks making God real in your mind.” This was a recurring theme and he frequently used brain scans as his means of evidence.
Now for the less objective part of the review. I can see what he was doing with his new definitions (or “axioms”) for God and prayer, but once he started claiming climate change was an imminent threat, made the phrase “…the black sheep of the gospel authors is whoever it was who wrote John”, and emotionally declared “…I find God in the sound waves…in the quiet sobbing in those who say, under impossible assault, ‘I can’t breathe’”, I began thinking, “He must be Methodist”. Sure enough, he described how when searching for a new church, what appeared most important to him was how many women were in the leadership and essentially if it would be preached that everyone should win a trophy, and he found that in the Good Samaritan Methodist Church.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I was not forced to read this book and easily could have quit while ahead. But, since I don’t like to not finish books and was curious how far he’d go, I think it only appropriate to inform others what lies ahead if you choose to read this. In my opinion, it didn’t provide very much substantial science except for vague connections and assumptions. I also wasn’t prepared for him to explain that the only way he could call himself a Christian (which he declared was “too loaded and carried too many assumptions” since being a Christian “can invoke troubling historical baggage: colonialism, imperialism, systemic and personal racism, sexism, homophobia”) was to essentially accept a belief that was flexible to whatever makes HIM most comfortable and aligns with what HE believes and how HE interprets the Bible (which apparently is FULL of contradictions and was actually written with said contradictions on purpose).
About the first 93% of the book was fine without major rifts, but gracious, did he let it fly for the last 7%! Even into his “Authors Note” was he compelled to comfort a subset of his readers by apologizing for referring to God as “He” or “Him”, because at the time of his writing of the book, that was how he normally addressed God. And that “Today, I don’t think of God having a gender at all…and even the Bible contains feminine images of God.”
😳
December 22, 2022
Intriguing. Informative. Interesting. I definitely don’t agree with everything in this book and I am not expected too. It provided an entertaining and enlightening story. Mike’s perspective helped me think and articulate my thoughts better which I very much appreciate. It wasn’t life changing, but I appreciate what he has written. I also docked a star because there were a few parts where he could have been more carful to be accurate in his assumptions. Overall it was interesting to read another perspective on the intersections between faith and science.
October 30, 2024
I LOVED every word of this book! Science Mike and I think A LOT alike when it comes to God. I’ve actually never felt like anything has articulated my unique version of spirituality as well as this book did. So I guess that means I am, as Mike calls himself: “an empiricist, progressive, skeptical, non-theist, mystic Jesus follower.” 🫠 This book made me feel so much less alone.
October 18, 2017
Having enjoyed The Liturgists podcast, I had heard a lot about this book--not only through that medium, but through several friends of mine, and decided to pick it up. Mike McHargue, AKA "Science Mike," delves into his fascinating story of leaving faith, and coming to terms with it again, all--of course--through legitimate science.
I wasn't sure what to expect from this book. Science Mike sometimes came across as unapproachable or posh to me on the podcast. But I can legitimately say I was mistaken to have had those preconceptions of him. This book isn't an attack on faith or science. It's not a defensive apologetic or a proclamation of doubt, It's a heartfelt testimony and the story of a man in the process of learning more about who--or what--God is, through earthly means.
And that's frankly what's most impressive about this book. He speaks about a lot of fears and insecurities that many Christians (or believers in God) feel. He's blatantly honest about how he lost his faith. And he doesn't write that experience off or rationalize it away as he learns more about faith in his life nowadays. He's open and honest--and admits when things sound crazy (to nonbelievers) or crass (to us believing folk). The book is most impressive because it's not a closed case; it's not a done deal. Through stated axioms about what tenets of Christian faith are to him now verses when he was a part of the Baptist Church, he explores what he's coming to believe. He's a unique case, but I doubt he's alone in his experience of being somewhat in-between orthodox religion and skeptical nontheism.
Where I used to roll my eyes at hearing him explain some of his nontraditional views, I now listen. And realize that he's playing a very important role, beginning conversations that need to be had.
There were two chapters that I found particularly interesting (besides his personal story of finding God in the waves): the discussion about how God is a tangible network of neurological pathways in our brains (the digression into the "Angry God" and "Loving God" dichotomy), and the beautifully anachronistic, personal, and yes--sometimes flawed perspectives, accounts, and piecing together over time that is the library (not book) we know as the Bible. He had a very comforting/fascinating view of what it means to be inspired by God, drawing a beautiful comparison to Van Gogh's post-impressionistic works. It opened my mind to a new train of thought that I hadn't truly considered before.
In addition, Mike asks some tough questions about the Resurrection and gives some great advice about prayer, regarding what it's physically capable of doing (to your own mind, rather than having a genie in the universe give you what you exactly want). At times in the book I questioned if Mike wasn't just attributing spiritual titles to phenomena that happens in spite of them--scientific phenomena to be exact. But again, that's the point...perhaps science is God (at work), and God is science (in our eyes). He creates a paradigm linking those two together that is sure to challenge scientists and Christians alike. But one thing is certain: the two are capable of coexisting, being one in many ways. I'll close with a powerful quote from the end of the book:
"I'm finished trying to let my faith, my theology, my reading of the Bible trump humankind's crowning system for uncovering facts about the physical world. I'll never do it again. There is absolutely nothing as effective for learning about physical reality as the sciences, and I love them for it.
But my faith gives me something else. A sense of meaning, belonging, and purpose in the midst of all those facts. It gives me hope that all things work out for good, that love is the basic reality of our existence, because God is love. These ideas don't have tremendous empirical merit, but they change my life when I hold them in an open mind.
Science gives us fact. Faith gives us meaning.
These two lenses, so often set up in opposition to each other, are most powerful when used together. Somehow, life becomes more clear--and dear--when I refuse to water down one stance for the sake of the other and, instead, dive deeply into both streams of experience and feeling, collecting the truth that flows from each.
We don't have to choose one or the other. Beauty and mystery surround us in every moment. They're easy to miss and easy to crush in the grip of our desire to control them. But if we open ourselves up to receive both, we'll be surprised by what we find.
And God will meet us there."
I wasn't sure what to expect from this book. Science Mike sometimes came across as unapproachable or posh to me on the podcast. But I can legitimately say I was mistaken to have had those preconceptions of him. This book isn't an attack on faith or science. It's not a defensive apologetic or a proclamation of doubt, It's a heartfelt testimony and the story of a man in the process of learning more about who--or what--God is, through earthly means.
And that's frankly what's most impressive about this book. He speaks about a lot of fears and insecurities that many Christians (or believers in God) feel. He's blatantly honest about how he lost his faith. And he doesn't write that experience off or rationalize it away as he learns more about faith in his life nowadays. He's open and honest--and admits when things sound crazy (to nonbelievers) or crass (to us believing folk). The book is most impressive because it's not a closed case; it's not a done deal. Through stated axioms about what tenets of Christian faith are to him now verses when he was a part of the Baptist Church, he explores what he's coming to believe. He's a unique case, but I doubt he's alone in his experience of being somewhat in-between orthodox religion and skeptical nontheism.
Where I used to roll my eyes at hearing him explain some of his nontraditional views, I now listen. And realize that he's playing a very important role, beginning conversations that need to be had.
There were two chapters that I found particularly interesting (besides his personal story of finding God in the waves): the discussion about how God is a tangible network of neurological pathways in our brains (the digression into the "Angry God" and "Loving God" dichotomy), and the beautifully anachronistic, personal, and yes--sometimes flawed perspectives, accounts, and piecing together over time that is the library (not book) we know as the Bible. He had a very comforting/fascinating view of what it means to be inspired by God, drawing a beautiful comparison to Van Gogh's post-impressionistic works. It opened my mind to a new train of thought that I hadn't truly considered before.
In addition, Mike asks some tough questions about the Resurrection and gives some great advice about prayer, regarding what it's physically capable of doing (to your own mind, rather than having a genie in the universe give you what you exactly want). At times in the book I questioned if Mike wasn't just attributing spiritual titles to phenomena that happens in spite of them--scientific phenomena to be exact. But again, that's the point...perhaps science is God (at work), and God is science (in our eyes). He creates a paradigm linking those two together that is sure to challenge scientists and Christians alike. But one thing is certain: the two are capable of coexisting, being one in many ways. I'll close with a powerful quote from the end of the book:
"I'm finished trying to let my faith, my theology, my reading of the Bible trump humankind's crowning system for uncovering facts about the physical world. I'll never do it again. There is absolutely nothing as effective for learning about physical reality as the sciences, and I love them for it.
But my faith gives me something else. A sense of meaning, belonging, and purpose in the midst of all those facts. It gives me hope that all things work out for good, that love is the basic reality of our existence, because God is love. These ideas don't have tremendous empirical merit, but they change my life when I hold them in an open mind.
Science gives us fact. Faith gives us meaning.
These two lenses, so often set up in opposition to each other, are most powerful when used together. Somehow, life becomes more clear--and dear--when I refuse to water down one stance for the sake of the other and, instead, dive deeply into both streams of experience and feeling, collecting the truth that flows from each.
We don't have to choose one or the other. Beauty and mystery surround us in every moment. They're easy to miss and easy to crush in the grip of our desire to control them. But if we open ourselves up to receive both, we'll be surprised by what we find.
And God will meet us there."
June 5, 2020
Parts of McHargue's spiritual journey parallel my own, especially his journey from belief to disbelief in God. I enjoyed that part of his story. But let's face it: McHargue was born into, raised by, and thoroughly indoctrinated by a conservative evangelical denomination; there was never much doubt he wouldn't find his way back to belief. I find his scientific explanation for God thoroughly unconvincing, and the vast majority of conservative evangelical Christians would repudiate not just his argument but the version of God that McHargue has come to believe in.
In one chapter, McHargue rejects the claim of the New Atheists that religion should not be taught because it is dangerous and actively harmful to humanity with the argument that Christianity has done a lot more good than harm and that there are many more Christians who are good and do good than there are bad ones. But McHargue's description of the way many in his own congregation responded and behaved toward him during his period of disbelief completely refutes his argument.
McHargue has a pleasant voice and is a good narrator. He comes across as open, honest, sincere, and funny. And very smart. He does indulge in a bit too much hyperbole for my liking. Finding God in the Waves isn't bad; it's just not convincing.
In one chapter, McHargue rejects the claim of the New Atheists that religion should not be taught because it is dangerous and actively harmful to humanity with the argument that Christianity has done a lot more good than harm and that there are many more Christians who are good and do good than there are bad ones. But McHargue's description of the way many in his own congregation responded and behaved toward him during his period of disbelief completely refutes his argument.
McHargue has a pleasant voice and is a good narrator. He comes across as open, honest, sincere, and funny. And very smart. He does indulge in a bit too much hyperbole for my liking. Finding God in the Waves isn't bad; it's just not convincing.
September 17, 2016
I have the honor of calling Mike one of my dearest friends. When I left Tallahassee, my heart broke because I knew how much I would miss my friend and knew there was so much more I wanted to learn from him. This book was like getting to sit with him again at lunch as he shared snippets of the vast amount of information that is stored in his brain. He is not only the smartest person I know, he is the kindness and has more empathy than anyone. I recommend this book to anyone who has lost faith in organized religion and the possibility of a God but still hopes against hope that they're wrong. Because while eternity may be a scary thought to grasp, nothingness is far worse.
June 1, 2017
So, I read this (listened to it actually because I'm lazy) and am not totally sure how I feel about it. His story is a captivating one -- he grows up in faith and then becomes an atheist but hides it from his loved ones and his Church. His recalling of when he brought his daughter to Christ even though he didn't believe in Christ was moving. His feeling of doubt and insecurity and loneliness was heartbreaking to listen to.
This book challenged me and scared me, it made me angry and frustrated, it excited me and educated me. I don't agree with a lot of it, but thoroughly enjoyed most of it.
This book challenged me and scared me, it made me angry and frustrated, it excited me and educated me. I don't agree with a lot of it, but thoroughly enjoyed most of it.
December 21, 2017
There is much I love about this book. The author does a great job of telling the story of his loss and return to faith. However I struggle with how he handles science and theology. I love both. I love science and I love God and I feel this book leans more on personal opinion and less on healthy understanding of both for ones own life. It also didn't leave me optimistic and hopeful. If I could I would rate the first half of the book 4 stars and the second half 1. This book wasn't meant for me in this season.
February 25, 2019
I wish everyone, Christian, atheist, and everywhere in between would read this book.
January 19, 2018
What a unique and beautiful book! Relatable, moving, heartbreaking, inspiring, and poetic are just a few words that come to mind, but only begin to describe it. For a first book, it is remarkably well-written; for such a left-brained science-type author, I found it full of beautiful metaphor and mysticism.
I had no previous experience with "Science Mike" before reading this book, but I'm so happy to be introduced to his unique experience. I say unique because I have heard plenty of stories where people (a) came from atheism into Christianity, (b) left Christianity for atheism, or (c) dealt with doubts in their Christianity without actually leaving their faith. While I find myself in category C at the moment, Mike's story is a full-fledged journey: fundamentalist-Baptist-turned-closeted-atheist-turned-mystical-but-still-skeptical Christian. And just like "There and Back Again: A Hobbit's Tale," there is no way to return from such a journey unchanged. Nor should we desire to remain unchanged.
The beauty of Mike's story comes first from his own transparency. He leaves no traces of doubt about how marvelous it was to be a Baptist, how in love with Jesus and the Bible he was, how amazing his church community was in so many ways. There's no hint of tainting the past with his later experiences. Then, when he loses his faith, first gradually and then all at once, we too experience the deep, deep loss. Christians who have been critical of doubters will see a more human side of losing one's faith. Atheists who never really experienced faith will see what a great cost it is to lose.
Mike's journey is mostly told in the first half. There were times, as a person of faith who deals with my own doubts, that I saw myself in his story, and have wondered if I too would need to completely lose my faith in order to find it again (through science or not). But the second half is just as rewarding as the first. In it, he takes us through some of his own thought processes, a few stories from his friends and internet fans (both encouraging and heartbreaking), and a set of "axioms" for faith that he's been able to lay as a sort of minimalist groundwork for a skeptical faith. These are borderline non-Christian, and certainly don't bring us fully to Christian orthodoxy, but they are a stripping away of the many layers of things we have always been asked just to accept blindly. It doesn't disallow more, it merely sets a minimum justification for faith and religion. In many ways, it reminds me of the stripping away that Paul experiences after his theologically-sound-yet-mostly-fruitless performance in front of the skeptics on Mars Hill: "I came to you in much fear and trembling...I resolved to know nothing but Christ and Him crucified." Mike's fear and trembling was also because all the things his faith was confident in were shaken - but when faith came knocking again, he resolved to investigate a series of "at leasts" and "even ifs" - things that would help his inner atheist continue to seek God in spite of doubts. It's a deep pruning that will allow good fruit to grow again where weeds had once choked him.
This book is not for everyone. It's not a book to just hand out to your atheist friends who have left the faith (although it's possible they may see themselves in it, one man's story is not guaranteed to reconvert them), and it's not the book for people who don't struggle with doubts related to science, history, Scripture, philosophy, etc. We all "struggle," but not always with the same kinds of skepticism or doubts that he does. Someone who finds themselves at theological quandaries like Calvinism/Arminianism, but not skepticism, would not benefit from having the very roots of their faith questioned at that moment. Another day, perhaps. Instead, I recommend it for: (a) Christians dealing with doubts about the roots and cosmic truths of their faith;
(b) left-brained analytics, apologists, philosophers, and science-bent believers and agnostics;
(c) agnostics or atheists who have left faith but desire to re-examine it, and/or who miss it. If you're not ready to revisit faith, this may provide that impetus, but it will have more power if you already have that desire, rather than as a challenge.
This book is not trying to do everything. Unlike some of the books I've read from the Christian Left, it's not meant mainly as an indictment of Evangelical Christianity, filled with stories of abuse from the Religious Right, high horses of what the gospel really means, or how we've distorted Christianity beyond recognition. While some stories do indicate heartbreaking things occurring, and some of Mike's opinions of the Religious Right and Evangelicalism are shared, they are mostly blips on the screen next to the vulnerable grandeur of the journey he has taken.
Some highlights for me:
-Mike's slow changes while still a believer are very similar to my own; politics, scholarship, apologetics, neo-atheist arguments, etc., and the way he clung to faith until it left once and for all. This was hard for me to read, not only because of his great loss, but because I don't want to see that happen to my own faith. I don't think that a believer has to become an atheist to get a faith makeover, but it's what happened to Mike.
-The "faking it" years where he had left the church intellectually, but chose to stay and fake it because of the risk of losing his community - this speaks volumes to many different audiences; the actions of his church and friends are also important for churchgoers to read, in order to explore the best ways to include rather than excommunicate doubters.
-His chapter on prayer (and meditation) were a surprising and new perspective for me. I have been stuck in theological quandaries, and would like to improve my prayer life and spiritual disciplines. This gives a left-brained basis for a very right-brained experience.
-His chapter on the Church was absolutely fantastic, and echo much of what I've experienced and read, but with a more personal and practical touch. Instead of just indicting the church, he instead shows what it can be when it is at its best. And even when describing loss and trauma, he never trashes the idea of church, even in the Evangelical community. This helps me in my experiences, as I'm able to "hang on to the good."
-His chapter on the Bible is quite good also, and his picture of what "inspired" means is beautiful. There's a lot to take from this, and many other books to look to if it's not enough. Certainly we can appreciate the Bible for what it is, even if it fails to be what we wanted it to be or had always been taught it was. And the fact that all of this comes from his own experience of loving, losing, and returning to his favorite book, just drives home the power of his testimony.
I get the impression that Mike's journey isn't over. This all happened rather recently, and doubters like us don't settle easily. This is actually very healthy - if our faith isn't changing, it's probably stagnating. He eschews labels, but acknowledges that we all have a different version of faith that we share, and that's okay. His "axioms" were mostly for his own benefit, but hopefully they will not be used in the future to form some new denomination of "nontheistic humanist Christian" or whatever they would call themselves. It would defeat the purpose of Mike's experiences to just start a new branch with a new, loose theology - rather, we all should be inspired to seek God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. And if we do, God meets us.
I will end where he begins, with this perfect quote:
"The first gulp from the glass of natural sciences will turn you into an atheist, but at the bottom of the glass God is waiting for you."
~Werner Heisenberg, theoretical physicist
I had no previous experience with "Science Mike" before reading this book, but I'm so happy to be introduced to his unique experience. I say unique because I have heard plenty of stories where people (a) came from atheism into Christianity, (b) left Christianity for atheism, or (c) dealt with doubts in their Christianity without actually leaving their faith. While I find myself in category C at the moment, Mike's story is a full-fledged journey: fundamentalist-Baptist-turned-closeted-atheist-turned-mystical-but-still-skeptical Christian. And just like "There and Back Again: A Hobbit's Tale," there is no way to return from such a journey unchanged. Nor should we desire to remain unchanged.
The beauty of Mike's story comes first from his own transparency. He leaves no traces of doubt about how marvelous it was to be a Baptist, how in love with Jesus and the Bible he was, how amazing his church community was in so many ways. There's no hint of tainting the past with his later experiences. Then, when he loses his faith, first gradually and then all at once, we too experience the deep, deep loss. Christians who have been critical of doubters will see a more human side of losing one's faith. Atheists who never really experienced faith will see what a great cost it is to lose.
Mike's journey is mostly told in the first half. There were times, as a person of faith who deals with my own doubts, that I saw myself in his story, and have wondered if I too would need to completely lose my faith in order to find it again (through science or not). But the second half is just as rewarding as the first. In it, he takes us through some of his own thought processes, a few stories from his friends and internet fans (both encouraging and heartbreaking), and a set of "axioms" for faith that he's been able to lay as a sort of minimalist groundwork for a skeptical faith. These are borderline non-Christian, and certainly don't bring us fully to Christian orthodoxy, but they are a stripping away of the many layers of things we have always been asked just to accept blindly. It doesn't disallow more, it merely sets a minimum justification for faith and religion. In many ways, it reminds me of the stripping away that Paul experiences after his theologically-sound-yet-mostly-fruitless performance in front of the skeptics on Mars Hill: "I came to you in much fear and trembling...I resolved to know nothing but Christ and Him crucified." Mike's fear and trembling was also because all the things his faith was confident in were shaken - but when faith came knocking again, he resolved to investigate a series of "at leasts" and "even ifs" - things that would help his inner atheist continue to seek God in spite of doubts. It's a deep pruning that will allow good fruit to grow again where weeds had once choked him.
This book is not for everyone. It's not a book to just hand out to your atheist friends who have left the faith (although it's possible they may see themselves in it, one man's story is not guaranteed to reconvert them), and it's not the book for people who don't struggle with doubts related to science, history, Scripture, philosophy, etc. We all "struggle," but not always with the same kinds of skepticism or doubts that he does. Someone who finds themselves at theological quandaries like Calvinism/Arminianism, but not skepticism, would not benefit from having the very roots of their faith questioned at that moment. Another day, perhaps. Instead, I recommend it for: (a) Christians dealing with doubts about the roots and cosmic truths of their faith;
(b) left-brained analytics, apologists, philosophers, and science-bent believers and agnostics;
(c) agnostics or atheists who have left faith but desire to re-examine it, and/or who miss it. If you're not ready to revisit faith, this may provide that impetus, but it will have more power if you already have that desire, rather than as a challenge.
This book is not trying to do everything. Unlike some of the books I've read from the Christian Left, it's not meant mainly as an indictment of Evangelical Christianity, filled with stories of abuse from the Religious Right, high horses of what the gospel really means, or how we've distorted Christianity beyond recognition. While some stories do indicate heartbreaking things occurring, and some of Mike's opinions of the Religious Right and Evangelicalism are shared, they are mostly blips on the screen next to the vulnerable grandeur of the journey he has taken.
Some highlights for me:
-Mike's slow changes while still a believer are very similar to my own; politics, scholarship, apologetics, neo-atheist arguments, etc., and the way he clung to faith until it left once and for all. This was hard for me to read, not only because of his great loss, but because I don't want to see that happen to my own faith. I don't think that a believer has to become an atheist to get a faith makeover, but it's what happened to Mike.
-The "faking it" years where he had left the church intellectually, but chose to stay and fake it because of the risk of losing his community - this speaks volumes to many different audiences; the actions of his church and friends are also important for churchgoers to read, in order to explore the best ways to include rather than excommunicate doubters.
-His chapter on prayer (and meditation) were a surprising and new perspective for me. I have been stuck in theological quandaries, and would like to improve my prayer life and spiritual disciplines. This gives a left-brained basis for a very right-brained experience.
-His chapter on the Church was absolutely fantastic, and echo much of what I've experienced and read, but with a more personal and practical touch. Instead of just indicting the church, he instead shows what it can be when it is at its best. And even when describing loss and trauma, he never trashes the idea of church, even in the Evangelical community. This helps me in my experiences, as I'm able to "hang on to the good."
-His chapter on the Bible is quite good also, and his picture of what "inspired" means is beautiful. There's a lot to take from this, and many other books to look to if it's not enough. Certainly we can appreciate the Bible for what it is, even if it fails to be what we wanted it to be or had always been taught it was. And the fact that all of this comes from his own experience of loving, losing, and returning to his favorite book, just drives home the power of his testimony.
I get the impression that Mike's journey isn't over. This all happened rather recently, and doubters like us don't settle easily. This is actually very healthy - if our faith isn't changing, it's probably stagnating. He eschews labels, but acknowledges that we all have a different version of faith that we share, and that's okay. His "axioms" were mostly for his own benefit, but hopefully they will not be used in the future to form some new denomination of "nontheistic humanist Christian" or whatever they would call themselves. It would defeat the purpose of Mike's experiences to just start a new branch with a new, loose theology - rather, we all should be inspired to seek God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. And if we do, God meets us.
I will end where he begins, with this perfect quote:
"The first gulp from the glass of natural sciences will turn you into an atheist, but at the bottom of the glass God is waiting for you."
~Werner Heisenberg, theoretical physicist
January 17, 2024
I highly recommend reading this book if you have ever doubted your faith because of logic or science. Mike’s vulnerability gives the reader permission to accept their doubt without shame and find God in the midst of them!! Mike’s views are definitely more progressive at times, so if you can’t hold space for someone’s experience being different from what you’ve known or grown up with, maybe don’t read it. But if you can hold space for someone’s story and how they have peace with God, you might just learn something about yourself and your own faith.
December 19, 2017
On one hand, I'd like to say that I think it's great that he has come back (so to speak) from atheism, but after hearing what Mike has to say here, I'm not certain that what he espouses now is in fact Christianity. I know Mike is a pretty liberal guy, so going into this I knew that he was going to say some things that I disagree with. Somehow he still managed to amaze me with the level of heterodoxy espoused. Sadly, this book could have been subtitled "The Apostatizing of 'Science' Mike McHargue."
The first half of the book was semi-autobiographical, briefly describing the author's Southern Baptist upbringing, and the events that led to his rejection of Christianity & embracing of atheism, and then his subsequent return to the faith. The second half of the book breaks down in more detail just what it is that Mike believes today about God, Jesus, and the Bible. Everything starts to get wild in chapter 12, where he tells us
Here's Mike's list of claims that he says he can confidently make about Jesus:
I'm glad to hear that he thinks Jesus was a real person, but "maybe a few people"??? And this is all he could come up with in the way of claims that he can confidently make about Jesus??? It seemed to me that Mike danced around the issue of Jesus's divine nature. Later he says
What? So let me get this straight: Mike says he has faith in Jesus again, but he isn't sure if Jesus was a single person (as he might have been a few people), and he can't confidently say that he believes that Jesus rose from the dead, after his "probable" crucifixion. Having said this, if Jesus didn't rise from the dead, and if he therefore (by implication) isn't the God-man that the Bible describes, then what good is his forgiveness? Or should I ask, what good is "their" forgiveness, since he thinks Jesus was maybe a few people in the first century?
The author has a bad view of penal substitutionary atonement, placing a great emphasis on God's love, while being neglectful of God's holiness - common errors of theraputic moralistic deism masquerading as Christianity. God is a God of love, but He is also a Holy God, a righteous God, who does judge sin, and calls us to repentance (a word and concept that I don't think appeared anywhere in this book). Perhaps unsurprisingly, Mike is openly hostile to the doctrine of unconditional election as well.
Rather disturbingly, the Jesus that Mike follows sounds more like an empathetic guru than the Son of God. What is promoted here is a Christless Christianity with an impotent Jesus who seems to be little more than a good teacher that we should emulate.
Not stopping there, Mike craps all over Sola Scriptura, but somehow still claims to affirm divine inspiration, all while questioning the motivations behind the writing of the Gospel of Mark, questioning the authorship of the Gospel of John, and claiming that the Bible contains multiple contradictory statements - not to mention that there was apparently no literal Adam, Eve, and serpent in the Garden of Eden, no global flood, and the inerrancy of scripture is denied. He basically draws the conclusion that the Bible is unreliable, yet he still values reading it [why?] as art.
If the Bible is as the author explains it to be, then by what means are we to know God? Having such a view of Scripture as this enables one to pick and choose which parts they like and disregard the parts they find to be inconvenient. That leaves you with... what? Personal revelation which will only agree with the parts of the Bible that you like? If Scripture is not authoritative, then we can pretty much make God in our own image and believe what we want, living experientally.
In chapter 15 Mike says that an atheist friend of his told him that what he (Mike) believes now is still closer to humanism than Christianity, and that the god of his axioms is not the God of the Bible. I would have to agree with this analysis.
I cannot in good conscience recommend this book to anyone. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh. There's a lot that I felt needed to be said about the ideas Mike espouses here. If you're a Christian and you're reading this I ask you to pray for Mike .
The first half of the book was semi-autobiographical, briefly describing the author's Southern Baptist upbringing, and the events that led to his rejection of Christianity & embracing of atheism, and then his subsequent return to the faith. The second half of the book breaks down in more detail just what it is that Mike believes today about God, Jesus, and the Bible. Everything starts to get wild in chapter 12, where he tells us
I believe again - but I also know that my beliefs about God, and yes, even my beliefs about Jesus are far outside what would normally be called Christian orthodoxy. I have faith in Jesus again, but it's nothing like the faith of my youth.
Here's Mike's list of claims that he says he can confidently make about Jesus:
1. Jesus was a real person, or maybe a few people in the first century.
2. His teachings moved people enough that he began to attract a significant following.
3. What Jesus taught put him at odds with political leaders to the point that he was probably crucified.
4. The teachings of Jesus inspired a persistent social religious movement after his death. Over time this movement became the largest religion in human history.
I'm glad to hear that he thinks Jesus was a real person, but "maybe a few people"??? And this is all he could come up with in the way of claims that he can confidently make about Jesus??? It seemed to me that Mike danced around the issue of Jesus's divine nature. Later he says
I don't know for sure whether Jesus rose from the dead. What I do know is that there are things that I've done that I have a hard time forgiving myself for, but I'm able to do so when I believe Jesus already forgave me.
What? So let me get this straight: Mike says he has faith in Jesus again, but he isn't sure if Jesus was a single person (as he might have been a few people), and he can't confidently say that he believes that Jesus rose from the dead, after his "probable" crucifixion. Having said this, if Jesus didn't rise from the dead, and if he therefore (by implication) isn't the God-man that the Bible describes, then what good is his forgiveness? Or should I ask, what good is "their" forgiveness, since he thinks Jesus was maybe a few people in the first century?
The author has a bad view of penal substitutionary atonement, placing a great emphasis on God's love, while being neglectful of God's holiness - common errors of theraputic moralistic deism masquerading as Christianity. God is a God of love, but He is also a Holy God, a righteous God, who does judge sin, and calls us to repentance (a word and concept that I don't think appeared anywhere in this book). Perhaps unsurprisingly, Mike is openly hostile to the doctrine of unconditional election as well.
Rather disturbingly, the Jesus that Mike follows sounds more like an empathetic guru than the Son of God. What is promoted here is a Christless Christianity with an impotent Jesus who seems to be little more than a good teacher that we should emulate.
Not stopping there, Mike craps all over Sola Scriptura, but somehow still claims to affirm divine inspiration, all while questioning the motivations behind the writing of the Gospel of Mark, questioning the authorship of the Gospel of John, and claiming that the Bible contains multiple contradictory statements - not to mention that there was apparently no literal Adam, Eve, and serpent in the Garden of Eden, no global flood, and the inerrancy of scripture is denied. He basically draws the conclusion that the Bible is unreliable, yet he still values reading it [why?] as art.
If the Bible is as the author explains it to be, then by what means are we to know God? Having such a view of Scripture as this enables one to pick and choose which parts they like and disregard the parts they find to be inconvenient. That leaves you with... what? Personal revelation which will only agree with the parts of the Bible that you like? If Scripture is not authoritative, then we can pretty much make God in our own image and believe what we want, living experientally.
In chapter 15 Mike says that an atheist friend of his told him that what he (Mike) believes now is still closer to humanism than Christianity, and that the god of his axioms is not the God of the Bible. I would have to agree with this analysis.
I cannot in good conscience recommend this book to anyone. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh. There's a lot that I felt needed to be said about the ideas Mike espouses here. If you're a Christian and you're reading this I ask you to pray for Mike .
August 12, 2021
Denna bok vågar se på tron så som många upplever den; Bräcklig, full av tvivel och sist och slutligen ganska svår att kontrollera. Har hört Mikes berättelse tidigare i poddformat, men än en gång blev jag berörd och tacksam av att höra en person lägga ord på hur knepig tron kan vara. Dessutom lyckas han på ett intressant sätt beskriva hur religiösa praktiker påverkar hjärnan och vice versa.
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February 4, 2022I'm thankful for people like Mike. I admire his courage to be so honest, all with the intent to help those on their faith journey.
June 17, 2022
I thought it was okay. He honestly seemed kind of confused at the end still, like he wasn't sure what he believed anymore, which I wasn't expecting from the title. If you're struggling with your faith I'm not sure I would recommend this book because he doesn't do a lot to strengthen faith in God or Jesus.
The one part of the book I thought was very fascinating was when he talked about the portion of our brains that light up during religious worship and prayer and that this part of our brains is more active as we consistently worship and pray. Most of us want to know God is real before we pray to Him, but in actuality we have to pray and work to know Him to strengthen that part of our brain so we'll feel close to Him and know He's real.
The one part of the book I thought was very fascinating was when he talked about the portion of our brains that light up during religious worship and prayer and that this part of our brains is more active as we consistently worship and pray. Most of us want to know God is real before we pray to Him, but in actuality we have to pray and work to know Him to strengthen that part of our brain so we'll feel close to Him and know He's real.
March 28, 2019
This book helped me answer some, not all but some of the things I have been feeling for a while.
August 11, 2017
Perhaps this was simply the right book at the right moment.
In a sense I agree with other reviewers that this book is not being promoted correctly... if you are looking for some sort of apologetics text, a DIY guide to merging faith and science, or a defense of Christianity, you are in the wrong place. However, if you are looking for a personally told and personally reasoned out narrative of a faith and non-faith journey that doesn't have all the answers, but tries to make the best sense it can... this is more the book to pick up.
The main reason that this gets full stars from me is that in the midst of doubt, deconstruction, reconstruction, and spinning in circles around faith, logic, science, and life in general, this book helped me feel less alone - made me feel more connected and made me more comfortable in continuing to work out my life long history with the same sorts of questions McHargue writes about. When I think about the books, music, poetry, and art that have stuck with me most, they all have the ability to transcend a medium and create some sort of presence and connection in a moment when it was needed. This was one of those books for me. Thank you for sharing your story, Mike McHargue.
In a sense I agree with other reviewers that this book is not being promoted correctly... if you are looking for some sort of apologetics text, a DIY guide to merging faith and science, or a defense of Christianity, you are in the wrong place. However, if you are looking for a personally told and personally reasoned out narrative of a faith and non-faith journey that doesn't have all the answers, but tries to make the best sense it can... this is more the book to pick up.
The main reason that this gets full stars from me is that in the midst of doubt, deconstruction, reconstruction, and spinning in circles around faith, logic, science, and life in general, this book helped me feel less alone - made me feel more connected and made me more comfortable in continuing to work out my life long history with the same sorts of questions McHargue writes about. When I think about the books, music, poetry, and art that have stuck with me most, they all have the ability to transcend a medium and create some sort of presence and connection in a moment when it was needed. This was one of those books for me. Thank you for sharing your story, Mike McHargue.
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