The Art of Grace: On Moving Well Through Life

by Sarah L. Kaufman

"Sarah Kaufman offers an old-fashioned cure for a modern-day ailment. The remedy for our culture of coarseness is grace…This is an elegant, compelling, and, yes, graceful book." ―Daniel H. Pink, author of Drive In this joyful exploration of grace’s many forms, Pulitzer Prize–winning critic Sarah L. Kaufman celebrates a too-often-forgotten philosophy of living that promotes human connection and fulfillment. Drawing on the arts, sports, the humanities, and everyday life―as well as the latest findings in neuroscience and health research―Kaufman illuminates how our bodies and our brains are designed for grace. She promotes a holistic appreciation and practice of grace, as the joining of body, mind, and spirit, and as a way to nurture ourselves and others. 25 illustrations

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Spirituality, Philosophy, Unfinished, Writing

336 pages, Hardcover

First published November 16, 2015

About the author

Welcome, friend. I'm the author of VERB YOUR ENTHUSIASM (coming April 2026) and THE ART OF GRACE. I'm also a journalist and educator. A native Texan, I grew up in DC as a book lover, ballet bunhead and movie nerd. ("The Turning Point" quite mercilessly ignited my dreams.) I live in Asheville, North Carolina. More info on my website: http://sarahlkaufman.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahlkaufman/
My Washington Post writing: http://www.washingtonpost.com/people/...
Verb Your Enthusiasm: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/bo...
The Art of Grace: http://www.amazon.com/Art-Grace-Movin...

Reviews

[Elsie · Rating 1 out of 5]

Where to start with this book? When I decided to read this book I hoped to find some useful advice about moving through life in a more graceful way - emphasis on getting along with people - not on swimming or diving or acting in films. My first clue that this book was not going to hit the mark was the selection of a actor/movie star, Cary Grant as the epitome of grace. I have loved Grant in the movies too, but he was an ACTOR. He played ROLES that were graceful, charming, humorous, etc. None of us knew him. We knew his IMAGE. Lame example.

I won't go into any detail of how the author proceeds, but I will give her credit for occasionally citing some wise advice about how to approach life and treat others well. I really had to just pass over references to other movie stars - who've we've all watched and loved, but we did not really know.

A later section of the book deals with physical grace, understandably, because the author is a dance critic and a former dancer herself. However, it felt more like the beginning of a whole separate book. I really failed to see the connection between the emotional, spiritual and compassionate side of living life gracefully and having physical grace that comes from a well trained body.

On the plus side, I think the author is a adequate writer. I just felt the book was unfocused, repetitive and very lightweight. The most useful thing I found was the list of actual tips for living graciously that she finished the book with. They seemed to be the entire argument of the book. I wished I had read them first and skipped the rest of the book.

[Meg · Rating 5 out of 5]

A thoughtful, even meditative book about adding grace, gracefulness, and especially graciousness to our lives, written by a Pulitzer-prize winning dance critic.

Sarah Kaufman begins by taking Cary Grant as her muse: his ability to bring up everyone around him, gracefully, was a key to his success. He used to purposefully flub his lines in order to make younger actors look (& feel) better. She goes on into sports (grace versus strength on the tennis court) and in the arts, as well.

Kaufman challenges her readers to look for, find, and even create grace in our modern, hectic world. This is a probably best described as a self-improvement book because in the end, it made me was to be a better person.

[Julie lit pour les autres · Rating 3 out of 5]

J'ai eu besoin de temps pour me faire une tête sur cet essai, que j'ai commencé bien avant le 24 février. Il m'a beaucoup touché. Et il m'a fait rager.

En premier lieu, le sujet de l'essai est fort attirant. Sans vraiment en donner une définition objective, l'auteure tente de circonscrire ce qu'est la grâce. En puisant dans l'histoire, la culture populaire, le cinéma, le sport, la danse et la religion, elle suggère qu'il s'agit d'une certaine authenticité dans le mouvement, une expressivité du corps en retenue, en délicatesse, mais aussi une attitude d'écoute tranquille vers l'autre. Une personne gracieuse est une personne qui donne. La grâce est aussi, on le comprend grâce à ses exemples (Roger Federer, Lynn Swann, Greg Louganis, Olga Korbut, Julius Erving, Margot Fonteyn), l'art de faire paraître facile ce qui est loin de l'être. Elle a des propos intéressants sur la différence entre des athlètes/danseurs puissants versus gracieux : où l'on est pétrifié d'admiration devant l'athlète surhumain, on vit un élan de joie en regardant l'athlète gracieux. Je paraphrase ici: elle estime que devant la grâce, nous éprouvons de la gratitude, de la sympathie et surtout, un sentiment de proximité avec l'athlète/danseur. On voit quelque chose de soi dans l'autre. On ressent plus que de l'admiration.

(Petit aparté. J'ai tellement regardé de vidéos des personnes mentionnées ci-haut. Quand on les regarde sous cette loupe, on se met à voir ce que l'auteure veut dire. Impossible de regarder Louganis plonger sans être émue par l'incroyable pureté de ses plongeons. Impossible de ne pas applaudir spontanément (et de réveiller son chum) en voyant Julius Erving *s'envoler* - il n'y a pas d'autres mots, la gravité n'a pas de prise sur ce géant de 2 mètres. Et Margot Fonteyn jouer une Juliette de 17 ans alors qu'elle a dépassé les 40 ans... On voit tellement l'adolescente en elle, dans son port de tête, dans ses épaules, c'est renversant. C'est beau à en pleurer.)

En deuxième lieu, l'auteure a écrit un très beau chapitre sur la grâce alors que le corps est engourdi par la maladie. Le programme du New York City Ballet développé pour les personnes atteintes de Parkinson démontre que la grâce est accessible à tout âge, même quand les mouvements sont saccadés, quand les mains tremblent, quand les bras se lèvent difficilement.

En troisième lieu, j'ai l'impression d'avoir appris un tas de choses plus ou moins essentielles à ma vie de tous les jours, mais qui me fascinent néanmoins. J'ignorais, par exemple, que l'étiquette Motown exige de ses artistes une formation personnelle continue (façon d'être, façon de faire). C'est d'ailleurs une des raisons pour laquelle le père de Beyoncé, qui était alors mineure, a signé sa fille avec Motown. Ben coudonc.

Enfin, je retiens de cet essai que la beauté n'est pas synonyme de grâce. L'élégance non plus. La grâce semble être, pour l'auteure, "ce petit supplément d'âme" comme le chantait France Gall.

Où j'ai ragé, c'est que l'auteure n'applique pas ses bons conseils. Si la grâce est de passer sous silence les erreurs des autres, elle n'y va pas avec le dos de la cuillère avec Britney Spears. Me semble que ce n'est pas faire preuve de "ce petit supplément d'âme" que de nommer ceux et celles qu'elle n'estime pas gracieux.ses. Il y a des passages élitistes et/ou réactionnaires qui m'ont râpé les yeux. Le côté silencieux de sa perception de la grâce m'énerve au plus haut point. Faut pas parler trop fort, faut pas trop rire. Ça nous ramène aux femmes dans les années 50, non?

Un livre intéressant en ce sens qu'il fait réagir.

[Gloria · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tips for Moving Well Through Life:

Slow down and plan; Practice tolerance and compassion and take time to listen and understand; Make room for others - on the sidewalk and in your life; Strive to make things easy for people; Make things easy for yourself - be easily pleased - be gracious; Lighten your load - no painful shoes, let the bad stuff go physically and emotionally; Take care of your body; Practice extreme noticing - look for grace where you least expect it; Be generous - anticipate and fulfill someone's hopes; Enjoy.

This book tackles a word that is often hard for people to define. Author uses many examples of grace in art, dance, fashion, walking, film, politics, and more, and while this helps familiarize the reader with what she is referring to, it is the ordinary existence of grace that is perhaps most compelling. Perhaps a bit too much emphasis on Cary Grant (way too much emphasis), but overall a perceptive examination of the subject of grace.

[Ipek · Rating 1 out of 5]

I find old fashioned etiquette books entertaining and they are easy reads for when I want to distract myself from the daily life with a bit of light idealism and bourgeoisie. I wanted to read this one for the same purpose but it's hard to find the point of a single chapter if it weren't for its title because the book is amazingly cluttered with names and examples of which old and modern celebrity does what, where and how.

The book starts as a love letter to Cary Grant as the epitome of grace and the author's wax poetic reaches a point where it resembles the gushing of a fangirl and the point of the concept of "grace" entirely falls behind. After many, many pages about his life, you finally reach the guidelines section. In these chapters, you try to find your way through pages and pages of celebrity names and vaguely relevant, crowded anecdotes. There is no focus other than the celebrities of whom the author thinks fondly.

What I thought would be a fun, light read bored me to sleep with its rambling and I found myself skipping pages towards the end, and not regretting it. The list at the very end is the entire point of the book. I'm glad I didn't pay for this.

[Hilary "Fox" · Rating 4 out of 5]

I no longer recall what it was that first turned me onto this book. Whatever it was that caused me to put it into my 'to read' shelve I'm grateful for, as this book was enlightening and reassuring, a soft light to guide the way towards the path to inner perfection. This book is not so much a guide as it is a celebration and definition of grace - that elusive quality that we all know and strive for. Who doesn't wish to be associated with it, after all?

This book leads through example. Between its covers are a number of actors, artists, an athletes that possess that quality we call grace. Through anecdata of how they possess it, what they do, how they act, and what it is that sets them apart from the rest - we all can hope to cultivate grace within our own lives. While we won't all be the star athletes and performers enumerate here, there is still ample opportunity to learn what characterizes grace and how we can adapt it into our own lives, and through that adaptation, spread it into the world around us. Mimicry, after all, is a very human action.

This book is enlightening, especially in the final section where everything is broken down into a slight scientific understanding of form and behavior, a history of grace and why it is so very cherished. Grace, it seems, is something we never wholly lose - and by cultivating it even the ravages of Parkinsons can be significantly lessened. Dance and music, rhythmic motion, is something our bodies and spirits crave - and even through the horrors of dementia we can enjoy and incur grace.

This is a good book, and more than that a useful one. We all need a bit more grace in our lives.

[Jaclyn Day · Rating 2 out of 5]

About 50 pages into this book, I was already bored by it. Kaufman’s premise is interesting though: she tries to unpack what “grace” really is or looks like, covering everyone from athletes to famous actors (Cary Grant, for example). Later, she challenges the reader to embrace grace in a new way too. But therein lies the disconnect that follows us throughout the book. Is everyday grace attainable, or even desirable? Is a mere change of posture enough for us to smugly congratulate ourselves on gracefulness? This book would have better suited the reader as an essay, perhaps focusing solely on Cary Grant, since Kaufman comes back to him over and over again. The Art of Grace was a great idea with mediocre execution.

[Dan Zak · Rating 5 out of 5]

Critic becomes philosopher here. In a coarse, lurching world, I'm glad we have Sarah Kaufman to remind us of the easiness of ease and the contagiousness of grace. The book's first chapter is epigrammed with Wittgenstein and centered around Cary Grant, and builds to bracing notions like this: "Think of grace as the artistic, empathetic side of an embodied language that humans have been speaking throughout time. Our actions speak louder than words, as the saying goes; why not soften them, round them, make them graceful?"

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a lovely and fairly fast-paced non-fiction read. I found myself mostly agreeing with the author's personal references for grace, and even when I didn't, she explained herself so thoroughly and eloquently that I could readily recognize why *she* felt the way she did. There were some redundant portions, and the book would probably have improved with some better organization or editing, but I still found it a joyful exploration of grace and have recommended it to several people and found it relevant to several discussions since I started reading it.

[Sarah · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is basically a book about privilege, gender roles and fancy people. First clue was when she worked in a dig on Jackie Kennedy (which doesn't seem particularly graceful). And the moment I shut the book was when she praised Margaret Thatcher as graceful because, among many things, she "was supremely self-confident and had a commanding presence [which] she sweetened with feminine grace: she paid attention to her self-presentation," and "took the shrillness out of her voice". No thanks.

[Amanda Huber · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a wonderful view into the idea behind and surrounding what it means to be full of grace. Not only as an athlete or a dancer but also in general as a person; to be a graceful host or a guest; to be full of grace spiritually and in essence. Reading this book sparked many ideas for me in how to be graceful throughout my life as well as in my dance practices and performances.

[Diane Webber-thrush · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another book in the category of "not for everybody, but perfect for me" -- essentially a philosophical take on grace. Could it be more perfect for someone who majored in philosophy and dance? I've enjoyed Sarah Kaufman's dance reviews in the Washington Post for years, and she is such a smooth -- yes, graceful -- writer. This book just floated by for me on a cloud.

[Lisa Blackwell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lovely meditation on life and those who have exemplified living life with dignified tranquility and kindness.

[Sorrow · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a delight.
I enjoyed the cadence of her writing and the thoughtful manner in which she conveyed the indescribable Grace that humans can have.

[Holly · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an interesting idea for a book. Ms. Kaufmann takes on the herculean task of defining what is grace? This little word encompasses so many things, yet what is it actually? Why is it so important? The author goes through the ideas of movement, manners, athletic prowess and even grace in the context of religion. Ms. Kaufmann supposes that we may not always know how to define grace but when we encounter it, we can certainly feel it. For example, the concept of grace in movement by an athlete and a dance can be awe-inspiring. Why? Because they make the impossible seem not only possible but beautiful and effortless. In the concept of manners, the idea of someone listening and acknowledging your presence and REALLY seeing you is in itself a gift of grace.
I will certainly be reading this book again in the future. I for one did not mind all of the Carey Grant references (the author has a maybe not so small infatuation) I think he was a perfect example of a type of old-fashioned grace that is no longer valued or popular.
May we all live a little more gracefully this week :)

* Fun fact- Did you know that when a group of people do movements like dancing or singing together, the heartbeats start synchronizing together in unison? How amazing is that!

[J. Muro · Rating 5 out of 5]

Learned so much from this beautiful author about grace and what it is, what it looks like, how it is felt by the graceful one and observer, and how grace is in moments, different professions, and so much more-what a wonderful book. For years, this elusive hard-to-attain grace has been a mysteriously curious topic and had wished to know how some walked with and in it,...now I know. In my lifetime, had rarely met a handful of genuine graceful people that left a fond memory and mark on me, and yet, I’ve learned that grace can be found anywhere, anytime, and any day. It is an art, skill, and one has to practise being it, feeling it, and observing it-
Hope to see, feel, and experience grace in all forms, and continue to hope for other people too, for it is a beneficial gift for all to see it and be it-

[Jenine · Rating 1 out of 5]

So terrible. I only got through the intro and the first chapter. The art of grace seems like it will tell you how to live a graceful life… give you suggestions on how to be graceful in ungraceful situations… but all she talked in the intro and the first chapter is Cary Grant and how he moved… and the amount of times the word grace was used was nauseating. Like we get it… stop beating a dead horse. Had to return it to the library. I’ve learned not to waste my time on things and just move on. And this was the book that I gave an hour of my time and moved on.

[Kathryn Bashaar · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a delightful book, all about the quality of grace. The author is a dance critic and former ballerina, so she knows a bit about the topic. She writes about physical grace, of course, but also about what we call graciousness, that quality of putting other people at ease. She provides examples ranging from Margot Fonteyn to Cary Grant to a stripper named Miss Ekaterina. It was a fun read, and inspired me to walk a little taller and move a little more slowly and gracefully.
Implied, but not explicitly stated in the book is this: you can't fake grace. I think there are people who are lovely inside but clumsy and oafish on the outside, but I don't think there are very many people who are graceful outside without being graceful inside. I think there's a subtle hardness and brittleness that you can sense in people who are faking it.

Like my reviews? Check out my blog at http://www.kathrynbashaar.com/blog/

[Susan McAfee · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Art of Grace: On Moving Well Through Life As one might expect from the Washington Post's Pulitzer-prize winning dance and arts critic, Sarah L. Kaufman's prose sings and inspires. Kaufman dives deep into understanding grace, whether it's physical grace or the grace that enables us to live well together. Through traveling with Kaufman on her exploration and reflection on all the aspects of grace, The Art of Grace helped expand my understanding beyond the confines of the sectarian. What a lovely read!

[Alma · Rating 1 out of 5]

Kaufman says that "grace is wonderfully democratic." But most of her examples are of high-profile politicians, celebrities, and otherwise rich and privileged. Physical aspects of grace are overemphasized. People are labeled as graceful and uneasy, clumsy, awkward which is, well, rather ungraceful of her.

Superficial, patronizing, repetitive. And silly at times: Picasso's paintings and The Rite of Spring "are not works of grace." LOL

[Rachel Blakeman · Rating 1 out of 5]

In concept this is a title that could work. In execution, it was lousy. It's written by the WashPo dance critic. She is obsessed with Cary Grant. Do not take a shot every time she mentions him. You will be passed out quickly in the first chapter or two. I wanted to like this book but never did. It just never comes together.

[Juanita · Rating 4 out of 5]

A beautiful depiction of grace - its fluidity and contrasting nature in life. The author explores grace in movement and in being. "Grace swoops in where you least expect it, where highs and lows collide"

[Nadine · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am currently reading the art of grace (1·12·18) and am determined to finish it. I love the points made, but it's not interesting enough to be a "can't put it down' book. I do enjoy the variety of example, though it feels like a long, repetitive list.

[meowdeleine]

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1g...

What is grace? Unfortunately this book's answer falls flat for me. I was compelled by the portions where Sarah Kaufman opts for a wide, almost universalist version of grace, like in the chapter where she describes dance classes for elderly people with Parkinson's. In general, however, I think Sarah Kaufman's ideas of grace are uncreative. Audrey Hepburn and Natalia Makarova may be what the society calls desirable, but they indicate a rather nasty general rule about the relations between beauty, thinness, youth, and whiteness in women. Yeah, the ballet and the movies are charming, but who runs them? Behind the curtain is ugliness, hypocrisy, racism, blush on a sunken face, a cruel and entitled man with a laurel wreath.

I want to wash my hands of this charade, but I find myself unable to let go fully, because I do believe that the idea of grace is important. We have to separate our prejudiced notions of grace and desirability (thin people are more graceful? white people are more graceful? rich people are more graceful? able-bodied people are more graceful?) with what is true. If that's not possible, we have to know.

If I were to write this book, instead of people who have benefited from our cultural notions of beauty for their entire lives, I would interview the people relegated to the wings and ask them what they think grace is. And what they think beauty is. For example, nearly 40% of American adults aged 20+ are obese. Is there a new way of incorporating the true gift of gracefulness into our daily lives despite a culture which tells us is that "grace" is lightness and a slender wrist and that "elegance" is a bony neck with the tendons showing?

"Being gracious is allowing other people to be or appear graceful."

[Readings n' Musings · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simply one of the most impactful books I have ever read.

"What manners, what graces, what an art of pleasing!”

"The different effects of the same things, said or done, when accompanied or abandoned by them, is almost inconceivable. They prepare the way to the heart; and the heart has such an influence over the understanding, that it is worth while to engage it in our interest. . . . A thousand little things, not separately to be defined, conspire to form these graces, this je ne sais quoi, that always please. A pretty person, genteel motions, a proper degree of dress, an harmonious voice, something open and cheerful in the countenance. . . . All these things, and many others, are necessary ingredients in the composition of the pleasing je ne sais quoi, which everybody feels, though nobody can describe."

"You achieve grace, inner grace and outer grace, because you want to. It is all in your grasp. Some measure of ease in your body, elegance in your appearance, and ease and enjoyment among others can be cultivated with a little desire. It starts with observation, by being in the midst. Notice and be aware of the grace around you, in your neighborhood, in the park, in what you see on social occasions, in works of art, or in your travels."

"Let the great book of the world be your serious study; read it over and over, get it by heart, adopt its style, and make it your own,”

"Grace allows us to walk lightly and easily, to treat others sweetly and gently, to receive and savor the gentleness of others. Grace in all its dimensions exists so that we can move well through life."

[Rose Rosetree · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you weren't Sarah L. Kaufman, you might feel intimidated to tackle this topic. Yet she has the standing to write about every meaningful kind of grace. I consider this inspiring, educational book to be a gentle masterpiece.

My favorite part was her insight into Cary Grant -- whom I'd thought of before as charming. Now my appreciation of him has expanded to include the word ATHLETIC.

Big thanks to you, Sarah. As for all you fellow Goodreaders who are looking for a book to restore your sense of human decency (given America's Election 2024), "The Art of Grace" could be a godsend for you right now.

[Putu Sita Witari · Rating 4 out of 5]

Never had I read a book that specialised in the topic of grace and refined life until I encountered this book. The writer's knowledge of an elegant mindset has truly opened my horizon on attaining a simple yet meaningful practical approach to whatever life offers. I'm glad that this book is not one of those which patronise a particular lifestyle or a snobbish kind that promotes glitzy or ostentatious behaviour.

As an educator, I really wish this kind of elegant life lesson would be part of the school curriculum from an early stage so that we can (once again) experience a carefully curated, thoughtful kind of society that appreciates more of natural beauty and courtesy.

[Isabel · Rating 1 out of 5]

There may have been something really special about this book. Maybe. And perhaps my irritation was aimed as much as the reader as the author. But the entire first chapter was nearly identical to the introduction and I just couldn't get beyond the author's apparent enthrallment with Carey Grant. Enough already. turned it off and returned it to the library, glad I hadn't followed by impulse in the store to purchase it. Ever reminded of the adage about judging a book by its cover going both ways, positive and negative.

[Snickerdoodle · Rating 1 out of 5]

I can't say it was a good or bad book because I couldn't bring myself to finish it. I was expecting something entirely different when I picked this up in the library. Moving well through life - to me - doesn't have much to do with actually 'moving well.' From reading the reviews of others, there is still something to be gleaned from this book. I just won't be spending any more time right now looking for it's pearls of wisdom. Maybe some other time - or not.

[Tami · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting, I really liked the chapter that she focused on a study by a neuroscientist that tracked how watching a graceful act (athlete, dancer) created a physical response, making us feel more agile. The author emphasizes that achieving the appearance of Grace takes constant work and effort: physically being aware of posture, putting your look together, paying attention to your surroundings and others, avoiding clutter and distraction.