The Curious Incident of the WMD in Iraq

by Rohan Candappa

Can be read in forty-five minutes: the memoirs of a Prime Minister with Asperger's Syndrome who thinks it is a good idea to launch a war in Iraq. 'Alistair said I should write something I would want to read myself. And I thought about that. I thought that this was good advice. Alistair is always full of good advice. That's why I like him. That and his socks. The book I would most like to read about is myself. And about my place in history. When I told this to Alistair he smiled. And then he said that the book would need an angle. Something that would catch the reader's imagination. Something that would intrigue them. Something that would "sex it up". So I said what about WMD. And Alistair smiled again. But this time it was a slightly different smile.' The Curious Incident of the WMD is a mystery like no other. The detective, and narrator, is Anthony Algernon St. Michael Blair, the Prime Minister of Britain. He knows a great deal about New Labour, sound bites and why he makes a good leader and very little about the history of Iraq. He loves cheese and hates Gordon Brown. He discovers what he thinks is the central mystery and sets out to investigate it, but subsequently discovers a deception which leaves him forever linked in an uneasy triangle with a stumbling, inarticulate US president and a genocidal dictator.

Genres: Politics, Nonfiction, Humor, History

190 pages, Paperback

First published November 1, 2004

Reviews

[Noor · Rating 4 out of 5]

I came upon this book by chance, and it proved to be an entertaining and witty read.

A few points:

1) It takes longer than 45 minutes to complete this book (although you'll still fly through).

2) It's very hard to live up to a book like 'The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time', from which the author has drawn inspiration, but Candappa did a pretty good job.

3) (Un)fortunately, the real Tony Blair does not have Asperger's syndrome, and so cannot hide behind this excuse when trying to excuse his motives for one of the most catastrophic and manipulative foreign invasions in modern history. In real life, Blair was a charismatic leader who won popular support during his initial tenure as Prime Minister. This makes the reality of the false pretenses under which the Iraq War was carried out even more abominable.

Most of this book formed a biography for Tony Blair, and the only real focus on Iraq was in the final few chapters. The outroduction of the book tells us that a lot of the book is made up, but that "unfortunately quite a lot of what it is based on isn't."

There were many parts that I found poignant, especially considering so much has transpired since this book was published in 2004. I'll finish off this review with a quote from part of the book:

"The war that George declared was On Terrorism... And this was very clever because no one wanted to be with the terrorists. So everybody had to be with George.
...And what's also clever is that Terrorism is not a country or an evil regime or an evil leader or even an ideology. You can't bomb Terrorism and invade its territory and overthrow its leaders and install a new system. That's because Terrorism is a Concept."

[Amanda Baker · Rating 4 out of 5]

A much underrated and under read book. I get that US and UK readers may not want to be reminded of how they were conned and what that cost - not just Iraq civilians but the stability of the world - but there is a reason for satire. Satire is the sugar that makes the medicine go down - more easily. This book manages to be REALLY FUNNY. Candappa even mentions the hideous tight trousers Blair used to wear - and which I observed (managing to keep my lunch down) when he visited my then council ward for a photo opportunity in the mid 1980s. It is a very short bitter sweet funny book. Well worth finding a copy.

[Bookguide · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is neither fish nor fowl, but rather a cross between The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 13 3/4, a political autobiography and a factual Wikipedia article. It is a a satirical look at New Labour, the Blair administration and the discussions and political shenanigans leading up to Gulf War, the excuse for which was the dubious suspicion that Saddam Hussain had WMD (weapons of mass destruction), capable of being deployed on the West within 45 minutes. Hence the claim on the cover that you can read this book in 45 minutes. Neither of those things is true.

I understand that many people will be put off by the initial childish style, especially the constantly repeated “we did war on Mr Hussain”. This is because it copies the early chapters of Mark Haddon’s The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, with the first couple of pages being well-nigh identical, including the smileys to illustrate facial expressions to an autistic boy, the narrator of Haddon’s book; the conceit is that Tony Blair was a similarly naive politician, often misunderstanding other people and concepts. Even the cover is based on one paperback edition of Haddon’s book.


This is a remarkably silly book, but it’s a really effective reminder of the main points of Tony Blair’s premiership. The personalities, the scandals, the dominance of spin and attacking personalities rather than policies. Finally in the last third of the book, we reach the events that followed the attack on the Twin Towers that permitted world leaders to launch the War on Terrorism.
“The best thing about the War On Terrorism is that it is a War That Can Never Be Won. And if it can never be won when you never have to stop fighting it.
And that means you can do things that would get you told off in peace time like curbing civil liberties, and making people afraid of foreigners, and making people afraid of Muslims, and increasing surveillance of your own people, and qualifying the right to free speech and spending lots and lots and lots of money on ‘Defence’. And when people complain you can look at them with a very stern face and say:
‘Hey! Don’t you know There’s A War On!’
And that would be the end of that.”

The ‘Outroduction’, i.e. the Afterword, sums it up perfectly: “A lot of this book is made-up nonsense.
Unfortunately quite a lot of what it is based on isn’t.”

[Stewart Forsyth · Rating 1 out of 5]

I picked this book up for 50p in a charity shop for a light read. Even at that price I feel shortchanged.

I think for the first time in my adult life I have got 10 pages into a book and went I genuinely can't read anymore of this. I've shook my head more times than I care to think about. Where I assume the author is trying to be amusing comes across as childish and in the brief part I have read poorly written.

I assume its the style of the author but it's not for me.

[Maria Calipari · Rating 4 out of 5]

OMG, I couldn't stop laughing. Rohan is a card.
He has taken the Political War and made a mockery of it.
Well done!

[James Palmer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very funny. Would be funnier if I knew more about the political period, but it did encourage me to look into it more. Good job.

[Gav451 · Rating 2 out of 5]

The difficulty for this book was that it is a spoof of a really interesting and well written book in the first place. To succeed it had to be at least close to the original and that was a big ask. It does not succeed in this particularly well. The points made by the author are relevant but in many ways diluted by the nature of the spoof. I probably would have preferred to read them in an undiluted form. Also although the book raised a few smiles it was not so funny that it was able to overcome my initial concerns. This is not to suggest it was in any way rubbish. It may be that reading the book this long after the war did it a disservice. It may be that it was a child of the times and so once that context was lost it would inevitably suffer a little.
I did not struggle to finish it, I enjoyed the read. I think the problem is I enjoyed the source material so much it cast a long shadow over the spoof and the book simply couldn't get away from that.

[Kate Millin · Rating 4 out of 5]

From the Back Of The Book
' Hi, my name is Tonya and i'm THE PRIME MINISTER and this book is all about ME and why I did a war on Iraq. And after you've read it you'll see how I was right all along about everything!
And you'll understand Soundbites and New Labour and Winning Elections, and Doing Wars and WMD's and Alastair and Me and George and why I am so good at making toast.
AND the best thing is it can be read in just 45 minutes*
Anyway I must dash as i've got a country to run BYE TONY
*this might turn out not to be true@

The above gives a really good idea about the style of the book and its content. It is funny in places, but also quite scary sometimes and also quite believable. (the 45 minute claim is not true).

[Margaret Pitcher · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think I read it too long after the events. It seemed to be thoroughly researched and was very funny in places (his relationship with 'Cherry'!) At the time we hurtled to war, I was in denial and didn't listen to the news for while, part of the reason for reading it, and was amazed by some of the shenanigans.

[Daniel Jones · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a wonderfully witty book written as both a spoof and also a biography of tiny Blair and the politics of the Iraq war

[Ellen Hooley · Rating 2 out of 5]

the first 'political' book I've read! not bad, quite witty but nothing new

[Bartel Hulst · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very funny.

[Erica Hudson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I registered a book at BookCrossing.com!
http://www.BookCrossing.com/journal/13001439

Funny but depressing.

[Nynke · Rating 1 out of 5]

found it very distastefull as it makes a mockery of the lead caracter in the curious incident of the dog in the night time and thus of autistic people.