The Power of Off: The Mindful Way to Stay Sane in a Virtual World

by Nancy Colier

Effective mindfulness practices for transforming your relationship with technology and reconnecting with your real life

Our reliance on technology is rapidly changing how each of us experiences life. We're facing new issues and difficulties, we're encountering new emotional triggers, and we're relating to each other in new ways. As Dr. Nancy Colier writes, "How we spend our time, what motivates us, and what we want are all are on a radical course of transformation." The promise of technology is that it will make our lives easier; yet to realize that promise, we cannot be passive users--we must bring awareness and mindfulness to our relationships with our devices.

"The compulsion to constantly check our devices plays on primal instincts," teaches Colier. "Even people with strong spiritual practices or those who have never had other addiction issues now find themselves caught in the subtle trap of these miraculous tools we've created." Through The Power of Off, she offers us a path for making use of the virtual world while still feeling good, having healthy relationships, and staying connected with what is genuinely meaningful in life. You'll explore:
How and why today's devices push our buttons so effectively, and what you can do to take back control of your life
Tips for navigating the increasingly complex ways in which technology is affecting our relationships--with ourselves, others, and our devices themselves
Self-evaluation tools for bringing greater awareness to your use of technology
Mindfulness practices for helping you interact with your devices in more conscious ways
A 30-day digital detox program to kick-start a new healthier relationship with technology
With The Power of Off, Colier sounds the call for wakefulness, reminding us that we can use technology in a way that promotes, rather than detracts from, our well-being. This book provides an essential resource for anyone wanting to create a more empowered relationship with technology in the digital age.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Technology, Psychology, Health, Mental Health, Personal Growth

229 pages, Paperback

First published November 1, 2016

About the author

A longtime student of Eastern spirituality, Nancy Colier is a psychotherapist, interfaith minister, and the author The Emotionally Exhausted Woman: Why You’re Feeling Depleted and How to Get What You Need (New Harbinger, 2022), as well as numerous other books. She is a thought leader and national speaker on women’s empowerment, wellbeing, and mindful technology, and has been featured on Good Morning America, The New York Times, and countless other media. She is also a regular blogger for Psychology Today. In addition, Nancy spent 25 years as a nationally top-ranked equestrian and serves as a performance consultant to professional athletes and artists.

Reviews

[Ryan · Rating 2 out of 5]

Little redundant. Chapters felt like the "same thing" with different words.

[Ann Douglas · Rating 5 out of 5]

A thought-provoking guide to making more mindful choices about the use of technology. Nancy Colier makes the case that we risk losing touch with the parts of ourselves that make us truly human through our indiscriminate use of technology: “There is no way to copy and paste the human heart or the human spirit, and there is no way to download the wisdom a human heart possesses,” she writes.

Her analysis of what's at stake is refreshingly non-alarmist and wise: “Peace, quiet, and downtime are harder and harder to find or create. Our lives are filled with more possibilities than ever before to connect, consume, and discover—all good things—but in the face of these possibilities, we are also feeling less connected, less centered, and less satisfied. The digital age is an age of both too much and not enough.”

She then proceeds to offer some workable solutions for anyone looking to break free of the lure of the smartphone -- or, failing that, at least turn their smartphone notifications off a little more often. Here's one example that really resonated with me: “The next time something happens in your life, notice what it feels like to hold it alone for a little while—that is, to not tell anyone about it and keep it just for yourself. Focus on simply experiencing it, sensing any feelings, thoughts, or body sensations that the event creates. As you do this, try to refrain from preparing the story of what happened in your mind, packaging the tale that you will soon send out to the world.”

[Aubrie Johnson · Rating 1 out of 5]

For a millennial who chooses to adapt the internet and social media into my life without letting it take over, the best part of the fear-mongering, catastrophizing book is the notes and cited sources at the end.

[Sandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book. Insightful and specific. A must read for anyone wanting to live a mindful life in this technology soaked world!!

[Kat · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book provides an interesting look at the dangers of using technology in a thoughtless manner. Rather than confirming technology as the root of all evil, it points out the hidden costs that accrue when technology is used as a substitute for human interaction rather than a supplement.

A lot of the content was not really news to me, especially in the later chapters, but one thing that stood out was the epidemic of people canceling plans at the last minute, often via text. I've had the urge to just not go to something because I didn't feel like it at the moment, but I usually push that momentary discomfort aside and end up enjoying myself. However, I know of people who are chronic cancelers and because time and attention are so precious, their lack of civility is infuriating and disheartening.

The end of the book gets a little New Age and repetitive, which honestly was a little irritating, but the appendix of the book does offer some practical exercises and suggestions for learning how to "be in the moment" and "experience now." A little practicality goes a long way!

Overall, a decent book to read at least once to help you be a little more mindful.

[Allie S. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life-changing book with super relevant insights for our culture today, and tons of awesome practical tips to reduce technology use and be present so we can truly experience our lives.

[Derek Grossman]

A difficult one to choose a rating for. I enjoyed the early parts as the ideas were initially introduced. As the book went on a lot of breadth was covered in regards to how technology has influenced our lives and certain aspects of living on autopilot.

What lost me a bit was some of the more spurious connections between habits and outcomes, and certain behaviours that seemed to be generalized from niche examples. What brought it back was the last section which was some of the better writing about mindfulness that I have encountered. I left having wished more of that had been weaved into the earlier chapters beyond the cursory ideas explored.

In the end, this book inspired new reflections around my own relationship with technology. It brought me new ideas for how to bring a mindfulness practice to this relationship, as well as new perspectives on mindfulness in general. Grateful to be thinking of these things as I start the new year.

[Stephanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed the statistics and the examples she shared from her experience as a psychotherapist. I thought this was what the whole book would be like (we have shorter attention spans than we did a few years ago, now shorter than a goldfish; the average smart phone user would rather give up their sense of smell than their phone; posting revealing/personal things on the internet gives the same dopamine rush as drugs; constantly checking your email/social media is constantly trying to access the "lottery" center of your brain and is addicting). I liked that the organization was in short chapters, part of a larger theme. I especially liked the section on Our Relationship with Ourselves and specifically the ideas that we are constantly trying to "brand" ourselves and narrate our own lives through social media.
However, there were a lot of personal experiences that I thought were kinda fluffy and lame-- not what I wanted to read (I thought the section on auto-correct ruining our relationships with others was a bit dramatic.) The book also ended with several chapters on mindfulness that came more from her perspective as a religious leader and got way too hippie for me.
Some good ideas, but her interview was better-- sounds like your average self-help book!

[Joel · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Power of Off presents a compelling case for re-examining our relationship with our devices. It was a well timed read for me, coming during a year of intentional disconnecting from technology as a way to improve my overall mental health and be more present in my life.

In the book, Nancy Colier shines a light on many of the habits we have of using our devices in ways that keep us from being present and mindful in our daily lives. Toward the end she offers some very practical methods for becoming more present and mindful in our lives through mindfulness training. I benefitted a lot from these sections and have been putting them into regular practice throughout my daily life.

The book's chapters are short (usually only two or three pages each) which made reading it feel approachable, but some chapters feel like they could be edited to use less words to make the same point and consolidated with other chapters. And a few chapters honestly didn't feel like they were worth the read. But overall, I found most of the reading to be personally challenging, motivating, and uplifting as it encouraged me to become more present and centered in my life than I had been previously.

[Kathryn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think most people who want to read a book with this title already know that they want to change their relationship with technology. That was certainly the case with me, so a good chunk of the book was basically preaching to the choir. While I agree with other reviewers that parts of it are repetitive, I still bump it up to a four because of its approachable writing style and practical tips. She gives specific suggestions for questions to ponder or actions to take, such as turning off more notifications on your phone. I also like the fact that the chapters are short so you can digest it in small chunks. The book includes instructions for a 30-day tech detox, although I'm not tackling that since I've already been doing a lot of the things on there anyway with the help of an app called Moment. Someone who is on the fence about whether they want to embrace "The Power of Off" would probably gain more from this book because I think she makes a very compelling case for why doing so improves our wellbeing.

[Toni · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fine book, worth reading a chapter at a time for it's nuanced approach. It is in essence a book of individual essays all pointing to examining our use of technology and consider it's ramifications in our lives.

Many of the ramifications are positive, but others, not so much. Solid insights into the ways technology enters into our relationship with ourselves and others.

[Steve · Rating 5 out of 5]

The most important non-fiction book I read in 2016.
All of my students should read it.
You should too.

[Jarrel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Too damn true. Would recommend.

[Nathan Albright · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is to be regretted that so many book which urge for mental health come with a New Age spin.  Indeed, it is often difficult for me to understand the appeal of New Age thinking.  What is it about Buddhism, with its obviously ridiculous love of paradoxes and its immense nihilism and in its frankly goofy theology is appealing to people who view themselves as wise and discerning?  Certainly there is nothing in either mainstream Buddhism or its more casual American New Age offshoots that is appealing when one compares it to the bracing truth of biblical Christianity.  Even so, this book is not useless and the author indeed has a great many points to make about those of us (myself included) who are a bit too attached to our technology, be it the devices themselves as well as the connectivity to the internet and that world of strangers that we use these devices for.  If this book is not one I can wholeheartedly recommend, it is one that at least has some useful things to say and that is worthwhile enough.

This book is a relatively short one at just over 200 pages but it is divided into six parts and 44 small chapters that appear to be designed for a reading audience with all too short of an attention span.  For example, the author begins the book with a search for a foundation in a virtual world and then spends nine chapters talking about our relationship with technology, which she views as an enslaving sort of relationship (I).  After that the author provides thirteen chapters that look at how technology affects our relationships with others, including friends and family members (II).  After this the author provides seven chapters that look at our relationship with ourselves (III) and even posit that technology may be stealing our lives like some sort of soul-sucking vampiric devices.  There are then five chapters on how we can create space inside and out for our lives to have parts without the effects of technology (IV).  Four short chapters deal with how we can liberate ourselves from a teched-out mind (V), after which the book provides six chapters on how one can practice mindfulness in the digital age, as if one would want to in the first place (VI), after which there is an epilogue about freedom, acknowledgements, an appendix that contains a 30 day tech-detox, notes, and some information about the author.

Even if one has no interest in yoga or the author’s New Age bologna, there are still useful aspects to devoting at least some times in life where one is unplugged and can enjoy life and what can be found in one’s surroundings or one’s company.  That said, those who can disconnect from their electronic devices long enough to appreciate a book like this are not likely to be the most tragic cases of technology addicts that one can find.  For someone willing to read a book about the power of off is likely to be a person who can at least sometimes turn off the devices long enough to read a book and to think about what it has to say.  It does not mean that we are free from the influence of technology and the way that it has given us shorter attention spans, but it does mean that we have within us at least some interests that can counter-act these tendencies to rely too much on technology.  And that is itself something that is worthwhile and ought to be respected, and something the author does not really appear to recognize as well, the way in which authors like this often preach to the choir without intending to.

[Leigh Anne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Skip the essays, go straight for the plan.

Colier is firmly in the "tech is bad" camp, in a very Buddhist way, to the point where I believe this book should be reclassified from HM to BQ. Its current placement implies that it's one kind of book, when it is very clearly another, and is not going to hit its target audience where it is.

As such, this book will have strongest appeal to practicing Buddhists or secular folks who meditate and are looking to cut down on their use of technology, especially their cell phones. The essays are, as other Goodreads reviewers have pointed out, a bit repetitive; to be fair, I don't think they're meant to be read all in one sitting. This is the kind of book you dip into when you want a boost.

The most useful section is the tech detox plan at the very end, so you can flip there and plan to gradually decrease your tech use over the course of a whole month. This will be especially appealing to those who need guidance and structure, and will horrify anyone who can't imagine putting their phone aside for more than 5 minutes. As I fall comfortably between the two, I admit I was interested enough to read the detox plan, but not motivated enough to actually try it. If anybody wants to partner up and do it together, I'm all ears.

Ahem. An optional purchase for most collections, unless Buddhism / mindfulness is popular in your community.

[Sarah-Mae Adam · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Technology is not going anywhere. I think that is a fair assumption. In fact, it might even be fair to predict that human beings will go somewhere before technology does. But no matter what the future holds, getting free from technology is no longer a real option if we are living in the world and not a cave in a forest. If we want to play in the game of life as it is now, we have to find ways to create a healthy relationship with technology ... we need to find freedom IN technology, not FROM technology.
This book is about raising consciousness at a time when our society is undergoing an epidemic of unconsciousness. It's about finding ground in a world that is increasingly untethered and ephemeral. It's about nurturing depth even as shallowness threatens to become the norm. This book is a call to reclaim the right to be masters of our lives at a time in history when we are giving that power away."

[Cynthia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had a rather remarkable experience while reading this book. I had also picked up a novel to read at the same time called Breakfast with Buddha by Roland Merullo and towards the end these books ended up paralleling each other. As the character in the novel experiences an introduction to the practice of meditation, The Power of Off described the intricacies of the practice. This was delightful, unexpected and helpful to me. Not only do I have a new way of viewing my relationship to the technology that surrounds me but I also have a new spiritual practice to explore as I recreate my use of time. As it stands on it's own I would recommend The Power of Off as required reading since we all seem to struggle more and more with the appropriate amount of time spent with our computers but if you devote just a little more time to reading you may get even more out of these two books together.

[Wyncy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Here’s another shining example of a book that could have been summarized into a blogpost. There are nuggets of wisdom in here but by the time I’ve reached page 30, it started to feel waaaaay too repetitive.

There are 6 sections to this book:
1) our relationship with technology,
2) our relationship with others,
3) our relationship with ourselves,
4) creating space–inside and out,
5) how to liberate ourselves from a teched-out mind,
6) mindfulness practice for the digital age.

...and under each section were more mini chapters that elaborate on the common theme (around 6 mini chapters per section, on average). Take my advice: pick up the book, look through the contents page, and pick 1 or 2 mini chapters from each section. Skip the rest. Don’t forget to put your phone away, of course.

[Terri · Rating 1 out of 5]

Finished this book pretty quickly. Not because it was a page-turner, but because every chapter seemed to repeat the same diatribe. The author opens by assuring the reader of her technological know-how, then proceeds to tell story after story involving her lack of basic common sense (How do you purchase an entire HOUSE without realizing it's integrated with smart technology?). She also cites a cashier's inability to serve her a non-menu item as a sure sign of the oncoming digital zombie age, skimming over the fact that she was unnecessarily rude to someone who had no control over how the cash register system worked. While I understand and relate to the desire to see people less attached to their phones, these instances - along with her hyperbolic observations on the "dangers" of autocorrect - made it difficult for me to take the book seriously.

[Logan Mitchell · Rating 3 out of 5]

As someone with extensive meditation experience, this book didn’t do much for me. It was more of a two-star book for me personally, but I gave it three stars because someone new to mindfulness and really struggling with being glued to their phones might really benefit from this book. I was hoping for a much more clinical and less anecdotal book in general. I was really hoping to find more direct suggestions for how to use one’s phone to help their mindfulness practice, but I disappointed that the book focused instead on general ideas about mindfulness practice. There were some really interesting points made about brands and social media, and overall I feel like I had a chance to think about those things a little bit more than if I hadn’t read the book. But overall, I didn’t really learn much that I didn’t already know, and I’m not anywhere close to an expert.

[Jamila · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book did exactly what I was hoping it would do. It confirmed my addiction to my phone/apps/email and then gave simple strategies on how to get "unaddicted." Colier's book is well-researched and provided data points surrounding our psychological attachment to our technology. Understanding Why I'm addicted, was just as important as How to fix it.

The first two thirds of the book crack open the problem. It unveils our need to be available, our desire to be liked, accepted and popular. And perhaps most revealing, our unconscious appetite for distraction. We all know the behaviors that have become normalized, the things we ourselves do everyday without thinking twice. Phones at the dinner table to constantly check the status of our statuses (guilty).

The last third of the book is a welcome expose on meditation. Colier shows the reader how to activate one of the most simple yet life-changing practices into their life. Instead of prescribing a formula on how to eliminate technology, which would be foolish in a modern society, Colier teaches the reader the power of presence, how to distinguish yourself from your incessant mind thoughts, and ultimately how to live consciously, so that technology is used intentionally and not as a mind-numbing narcotic.

[Frieda · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author discusses today's technology addiction and how society ranging from young to old have become heavily dependent upon technology as a social outlet. "The fact that we never have to be without our devices means that we never are without them and we increasingly mistrust that we can be without them." This book teaches us to lessen our addiction and be more mindful of tech use. She poses the question - how important is that email? How important is that Facebook newsfeed? How will your life benefit if you check your phone constantly? There are several books available on this subject but Ms. Colier's writing is direct yet compassionate. A worthwhile read.

[John MB · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hum, its very preachy.... What i mean by that is that the idea being put forward is a great one and should be embraced. No question. But the way this is written is antagonistic to me and actually a little bit surprising in that some areas covered appeared to be common sense to me. But as i read tbrough and started looking around suring my day to day life, it did start to dawn on me the importance and relevance of the subject. This is worth your time but the written style may put some people off.

[C · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF. This started so promisingly and seemed like it would be an empathetic and mindful approach to managing one's relationship with the internet. Three chapters into the relaying of anecdotes about clients exhibiting addiction behaviors and the author's insistence that we should value X or shouldn't do Y, I started feeling like I was being scolded for all of the behaviors, even the ones I don't actually do. I think if she had cut 90% of that content and started with the mindfulness toolbox that's at the end, this would have been a friendlier and much more useful book.

[Sarah White · Rating 4 out of 5]

It feels strange to be noting that I read a book about online addiction on a social network, but there you go. I feel like this book is more about the need for mindfulness in general and how to go about getting some in the modern world than it is about specifically dealing with compulsive Internet use. The appendix does offer some thoughts on doing a digital detox if that's something you need.

[Emily Martin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone should read this book! It is such an important topic and the author brings up some critical research about technology that is significant to all ages that use cell phones. I did a two week full detox and let my phone die for that time because I was inspired by this book. WOW! It was really eye-opening and the best two weeks I've had in a long time!

[Kathleen · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF. Gave some good tips but did not like how it treated the reader like an addict. I don't see myself as one; I just wanted to learn how to identify why I use technology and disengage when I need to. So what I read gave me a start but I'll be looking elsewhere if I need more help.

[Becca Altimier · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a bit of a slow read, but a good one. The chapters are mostly short and quick, making it easy to consume in bite-sized chunks. There's a 30-day detox at the end of the book that's also googleable, for anyone interested in putting the insights into practice.

[Valerie · Rating 4 out of 5]

While I did not align with or value everything shared, the author's reflections in the first half of the book definitely helped me rethink my use of technology and see how it has been changing my interaction with others and various aspects of daily life. Challenging.

[William Burch · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved the author's perspective. In a world increasingly dominated with big bucks and technology, it's good to know that someone is off their cellphone or tablet long enough to tell us the stress and anxiety of this "new world" has long range side effects. Keep up the good work, Nancy