Eroticism and gothic horror mingle in the enchanted city of Paradys, where no one remains unchanged
The Book of the Damned introduces the city of Paradys, also known as Paradise, or Paradis. In fact, it is three cities, all places of luxury and decay, twisted love and chilling magic, intertwined by an unknown enchantment.
In “Stained with Crimson,” the first tale of Paradys’s inhabitants, poet Andre St Jean encounters a mysterious man who thrusts upon him a ruby ring engraved with an Egyptian beetle. Advised by friends that the ring belongs to the most beautiful woman in Paradys—the pale and ebony-eyed Antonina von Aaron—Andre attends a salon to return it to her. Instead, he becomes entangled in a vampiric game of predator and prey, gender transformation, and bloody nightmares.
Dread imbues the second tale, “Malice in Saffron.” After young Jehanine is raped by her stepfather, she runs away to Paradys to find her stepbrother Pierre. But the once devoted Pierre accuses Jehanine of lying and casts her out into the inhospitable streets. The desperate girl finds refuge in a nunnery and tries to live in God’s light. But when dusk falls, she transforms into her male alter ego, Jehan, and prowls the alleys with murderous, Devil-worshipping thugs.
“Empire of Azure,” the final exploration of Paradys’s dangerous streets, recounts the investigations of writer Anna Sanjeanne, who receives a strange note from a mysterious “In a week or less, I shall be dead.” On the predicted date Anna follows the stranger’s trail. A chain of clues—a shattered window, a corpse hanging from a rope, a leather-bound diary, and a portrait of an unknown woman—soon lead the young journalist toward a sinister and ancient force.
Told with lush fantastical prose and an acute aesthetic sense, The Book of the Damned ventures into a morbid and disquieting parallel world, exploring the recesses of identity, gender, and sexual transgression that lie within.
Tanith Lee was a British writer of science fiction, horror, and fantasy. She was the author of 77 novels, 14 collections, and almost 300 short stories. She also wrote four radio plays broadcast by the BBC and two scripts for the UK, science fiction, cult television series "Blake's 7." Before becoming a full time writer, Lee worked as a file clerk, an assistant librarian, a shop assistant, and a waitress.
Her first short story, "Eustace," was published in 1968, and her first novel (for children) The Dragon Hoard was published in 1971.
Her career took off in 1975 with the acceptance by Daw Books USA of her adult fantasy epic The Birthgrave for publication as a mass-market paperback, and Lee has since maintained a prolific output in popular genre writing.
Lee twice won the World Fantasy Award: once in 1983 for best short fiction for “The Gorgon” and again in 1984 for best short fiction for “Elle Est Trois (La Mort).” She has been a Guest of Honour at numerous science fiction and fantasy conventions including the Boskone XVIII in Boston, USA in 1981, the 1984 World Fantasy Convention in Ottawa, Canada, and Orbital 2008 the British National Science Fiction convention (Eastercon) held in London, England in March 2008. In 2009 she was awarded the prestigious title of Grand Master of Horror.
Lee was the daughter of two ballroom dancers, Bernard and Hylda Lee. Despite a persistent rumour, she was not the daughter of the actor Bernard Lee who played "M" in the James Bond series of films of the 1960s.
Tanith Lee married author and artist John Kaiine in 1992.
The Books of Paradys are a set of four collections of novellas all set in a dark and hallucinatory version of a former Paris. In part they're an homage to various 19th-century authors, especially the French symbolists, but they showcase Tanith Lee's unique and strikingly original vision to perfection. Some of the best writing, by one of my favorite authors. They can be read in any order, but The Book of the Damned was first published... and as the title suggests, it gives us a collection of characters who will find no redemption.
Stained with Crimson A dissipated young man develops an obsession with a cold and enigmatic woman - a newcomer to Paradys, a foreigner who has quickly become known for running a salon. But his interest is unrequited, and it seems that there may be something unsavory and ominous about her household. After a death, and a fateful duel, there is an inexplicable/supernatural, but neatly balanced, reversal of the situation. Lush yet subtle, the gender-twisting vampire tale brings to mind both Oscar Wilde and Bram Stoker.
Malice in Saffron This is the 'pilgrim's progress' of Jehanine, a young farm girl. Assaulted by her stepfather, she flees to the city to find her beloved brother - who repudiates her as a harlot. From there, her journey will take her through the extremes of sin and saintliness, theft and sacrifice. She will act as male and female, depraved murderer and holy nun, until she and her brother come full circle and around again. If you try to extract a moral message from the tale, you are likely to be stymied - and that's exactly the point.
Empires of Azure A multilayered ghost story, with similar themes echoing through different lives. A journalist who writes under a male pseudonym is approached by a man who makes his living as a cross-dressing performer. He tells her that soon he will die. Investigating, she finds him missing, and discovers that he was living in a notorious house of scandal, scene of the death of a wild young woman. Both of them were obsessed with an ancient Egyptian princess, whose Cleopatra-like life story ended in tragedy... but the story stretches back even further, to an ancient sorcerer (or sorceress?) whose influence has stretched through the ages. I read in this one a mirrored acknowledgement of how we might romanticize the Paris of the past (as Lee blatantly does in the books of Paradys) just as her 19th-century-esque characters (and those they're based on) romanticize ancient Egypt...
I've read this volume before, but many thanks to Open Road Media and NetGalley for providing an eBook copy. As always, my opinions are solely my own.
Excellent prose and atmosphere. Some very unsettling themes and brutal imagery--an actual "not for the faint of heart" that runs circles around what many consider "grim" these days. This has made me into a fan of the author and I immediately picked up a number of her books after reading this. Definitely one of the greats, gone too soon.
The first of Tanith Lee's "The Secret Books of Paradys" features three tales set in a shadow version of Paris across a span of several centuries; while no dates are referenced, the settings appear (by the furniture and references) to be post-revolution, early Renaissance and late 19th century respectively.
The prose is dense and rich (short of purple, but it did take me a few pages to adjust from the sparer writing I've grown used to), and the style in each section subtly different reflecting its era. As usual, Tanith Lee is firmly Gothic - both in the tradition of Radcliffe, Lewis, Poe and Chambers - as well as the fact is feels as though it should be accompanied music from the Sisters of Mercy and All About Eve.
The first-person narrators and supporting cast are those on the fringes of society - Stained in Crimson is told by a louche left-bank poet who stumbles into a game with a mysterious brother and sister, which may have been fated; in Malice in Saffron a country girl running from abuse by her step-father joins both a nunnery and street-gang, her double life allowing her to exact vengeance on those who have harmed her and wider society; and in Empires of Azure a journalist is pulled into the web of connections between a female impersonator and ancient magic.
This gender fluidity is, in fact, central to each of the tales, manifesting as either literal transformation or subterfuge. Likewise, the gender power relationships often flip unexpectedly - literary tropes of direct action by men and manipulation by women are introduced and reversed. Rape makes an uncomfortably frequent appearance, although it is not confined to female characters.
It must be said that few of the characters beyond the central ones are drawn as more than sketches, but this suits the mythic quality of the stories and is not really a weakness. The first two parts, Crimson and Saffron, are truly excellent, affecting tales, although Azure felt to me somehow unfinished; the writing felt rather less polished and the construction lacking, while the ending somewhat pointless, otherwise The Book of the Damned may well have been a five star book.
Oh god. I am not used to anything that even verges on horror. My poor nerves are shaken.
Stained With Crimson: I found it confusing. And I'm still not sure what happened. I have some ideas, but they're all really weird. Though, the whole book is pretty weird, so that doesn't take away from their credibility.
Malice in Saffron: SO GOOD. Halfway through I thought I might have to stop, because it was just that horrible. But I'm so glad I didn't. Woah.
Empires of Azure: No. Just, no. Last night I had nightmares of my dad being killed by smurfs. I think that I was having flash-forwards of what this story was going to do to my poor, poor imagination. Gad. I have the next book in the series, but I'm not sure if I'm up for carrying on.
All of them: Fuck woah, I love how she plays with gender. Fantastic! I also love the city of Paradys itself. If I do continue, that will be why I do. Crazy beautiful fascinating scary as fuck city.
Generally, I like my books to have a coherent plot and detailed characterisation, neither of which this one has, yet I rather liked it. It's one of those weird, twisty enigmas of a story where the lush writing and decadent atmosphere are more or less the point. The entire thing is like a collection of highly stylised images and set pieces strung together to form a sensuous, visceral experience of passionate obsession, ruthless revenge and otherworldly transcendence.
Ostensibly, this book contains three novellas, each of which are centred thematically around a colour (if that makes any sense) and plot-wise, around a coloured gem: the Crimson Book revolves around a ruby scarab, the Saffron Book around a topaz crucifix, and the Azure Book around a sapphire earring. All are linked by the fact that they take place in an alternate-Paris setting, Paradys, and all deal with themes of death and rebirth, transformation and, much to my delight, gender roles.
I freely confess to not fully understanding what went on in each of the stories, although the second one, to my mind, was fairly coherent (and probably my favourite, for its awesome yet horrible heroine), but again; the plot is somewhat beside the point. The real attraction is letting the horror and sex and symbolism and rich, indulgent language wash over you then try to puzzle out what it all means, like a series of riddles. I have some half-formed ideas wandering about in my head, finding surprising connections or suggestions when they orient themselves or bump into each other in particular ways. More concrete theories to come.
I really don’t know why I keep reading this author’s books since they are uniformly bizarre, over-sexed in a silly Penthouse Letters sort of way and gratuitously violent. Nevertheless, the title of this hard cover, first edition collection of short stories caught my eye at my favorite used book store so I jumped back into her crazy world.
As per her habit, these stories all involve someone getting raped (at least once), someone challenging or changing their sexual identity, some sort of sci-fi/fantastical evil menace and lots of bloody murder. The stories all seem to be set in some sort of alternate 15th-18th Century Paris for no particular reason other than to permit everyone to assume ridiculous airs, wear fabulous clothes and generally comport themselves like asses. Nevertheless, the writing is excellent, despite the odd story arcs, and the author certainly succeeds at creating a mood. Unfortunately, I found that mood to be more nauseating than usual, even for her, and, thus, cannot recommend this book to anyone.
First in a series, this is a collection of three novellas, set in a mythical city called Paradys or Paradis, depending on the period in which they are set. The connection in each is a jewel of a particular colour - ruby, opal, sapphire - and a constant change of gender identity of various characters.
I found the first story pretty impenetrable. Andre, a poet, becomes fixated with an aloof woman called Antonina to the point of self sacrifice and yet only earns her hatred it seems. And then events continue when he and she swap gender roles. I won't say more to avoid spoilers but I didn't find the rambling ending at all convincing. This story appears to be set in a pseudo 18th or early 19th century.
The second story, which is set in the Middle Ages at a time of crusades and plague, has more plot and coherence. A young woman is raped by her step-father and runs away to the city to find her half-brother, only to be rejected by him and disbelieved. She finds refuge in a nunnery, thanks to the intercession of a mysterious dwarf man, and embarks on a career of cross dressing and taking on a man's role to wreck vengeance, not just on her brother, but on all and sundry, becoming what she sees as the quintessentially male character. But following a mysterious experience and an outbreak of plague, there is a further transformation. The end, in which we find out what the subject of her self-sacrifice goes on to do, seems to render it pointless and is a rather unsatisfactory tacked on coda.
The third story is much shorter than the other two and is set either in the late 19th or early 20th century in which phones and cars feature. A woman who earns her living by writing articles under a male pseudonym is approached by a man who says he has only a week to live. She becomes intrigued by his fate and investigates, finding a disturbing tale of reincarnated Egyptian priestesses, bloody murder and female impersonation. The ending is a bit anticlimatic but at least the plot can be followed.
Having read a lot of Lee's work over the years, her usual themes are here and yet are perhaps too graphically developed, with rape of various characters and other violent scenes. The purple prose becomes rather too much so on occasion and scenes are written for imagery and effect rather than for any narrative point. The characters are also thinly sketched and there is no real emotional involvement for the reader. Given that there is some plot in the last two stories, it has just about managed a 2-star rating for me.
this is my first encounter w tanith lee & i absolutely adore her prose, extraordinarily hazy and light-fingered, morbid and imagistic and unsparing. i was rly hoping for a lot from her and i’m so glad she lived up to my (imagined, arbitrary) expectations :)))
the first two novellas “stained with crimson” and “malice in saffron” are superb; the first is a chilly and circuitous vampire story, languorous and lust-stricken, that pitches into a fevered nightmare of eternal recurrence in its final pages (also wonderfully fluent with crossgender themes); the second is a sustained, brutal picaresque reminiscent of de sade’s “justine” or suehiro maruo’s “shojo tsubaki,” heavy with spiritual and corporeal degradation, abject and shocking cruelty, building to a quiet, startling climax so crystalline and obscure and mythopoetic i had to take a break and go clean house for a bit to recover.
probably for the best, too, since the final novella, “empires of azure,” didn’t really hit the same despite some striking vivid imagery. fwiw epistolary/pseudo-epistolary horror is rarely my favorite style.
also, side note, i’m reading the complete secret books of paradys edition w the hideously ugly cover, and there are a lot of typos/formatting errors lol
This book is actually three novellas: that of a poet who may or may not tangle him or herself up with vampire(s), that of an abused peasant girl who runs away to Paradys and becomes nun by day, bullyboy by night, and a writer who investigates the strange deaths of two beauties in a single house. In all three tales, gender is fluid, sexualities are twisted, and inexplicable shadows loom.
I would rate the stories higher, but I found the writing almost impenetrable. I still don't know what the first tale was about, or how it was resolved. Here's a taste of Lee's style: "And rising and sinking in the billows of shadow, the light was cleaved to crimson, crimson through and through, a dye never to be washed out, through the wounds of a redeemer might wash away all sins and stains. Crimson, crimson, the caves, the river, flowers and fruit and crystal and blood. Crimson the benediction; the waves, crimson, that never ended and were never begun, and were never begun or ended." Very poetic but not particularly helpful in terms of exposition.
Perhaps I went into this with too-high expectations, having recently quite enjoyed another book by Tanith Lee, but unfortunately, the style here didn't work for me at all. A friend of mine has described it as febrile, and I would agree, though not as to whether it is febrile in a good way. I could not get any sense of the world or the characters, lost as they were in the purple haze.
I can appreciate what Lee was trying to do here, but it isn't the right book for me. DNF.
** I received a Review Copy of this book via NetGalley ** (2016 Open Road Media edition)
It's boring and impossible to follow. Mostly though, the whole thing just felt utterly pointless. I'm generally not super picky about books in this genre, but COME ON. And what genre is this, really? Are these even vampires? If they are, why never use the word? And if not, what's with all the biting?
I'm still not completely sure what Lee was even trying to do with this, but the writing tried waaaaay too hard for high-concept meta for the content, which is basically just rapey, Satan-y (Is that a word? I guess it is now) schlock.
Contains three novella length stories set in and around the mythical city of Paradys (Lee's version of Paris).
Each one explores gender fluidity, rebirth and the consumption of the male by the female. The stories are high gothic with a strong nod to the 19th century French symbolists. Set at different time periods - 19th century, medieval and early 20th century - these are Lee at her finest; with complex and intricately interweaving imagery and plots, lush and decadent styling and the macabre and grotesque imagination she is famed for.
Stained with Crimson ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Malice in Saffron ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Empires of Azure ⭐⭐⭐⭐
This is my Judy Blume/Hunger Games/Twilight, whatever you want to call it. I read this as a young adult when everything is so dramatic, everything a tragedy of Othello proportions. The first story Stained With Crimson is my favorite story I have ever read in my life to this day. It's not for everyone but if you already like Tanith & are trying to decide which one to pick up next this is a good one. If you've never read her I'll try to describe it. A lot of it is erotic, with poetic writing, themes of mythology and legends. It's about gender identity, how men repress women, sexual taboo. I could underline something on every page, it's that profound to me. Many times writers spend too much time describing things and I can't imagine them, my mind is blank. I read the words but there are no pictures in my head. Not so with Tanith Lee, I feel so present and in the world she's created in these stories.
The books are very hard to understand or enjoy. The stories are difficult to follow because the vampire lore is so twisted and non-standard, the characters' motivations are hard to understand, because they are not very nice or normal people, and some of the characters change gender, age, and life state. This makes it hard to track them. (And with these changes, I am not talking about flashbacks. I believe that time is proceeding forward in a linear fashion as one would expect.) When reading a novel, the reader should be able to just relax and follow the plot.
Very strange stories. Definitely not the first Tanith Lee you should read. It's her style, of course, but personified and boiled down to make beautiful words but sometimes completely incomprehensible visions. I think I will take a break before beginning the next book.
The middle story, Malice in Saffron, was pretty horrifying.
This was the first Tanith Lee book I read. Her writing is very dark, and there is no such thing as a happy ending. I found the book (as well as the second in the series "The Book of the beast") to be strangely erotic despite its macabre setting and tone.
Dark gothica handled deftly by a master wordsmith, the novellas in this book are unsettling to the psyche. Beautifully written, Tanith Lee's style is reminiscent of Poe and maybe even Lovecraft to a certain degree. This isn't out and out horror, but a portrayal of darkness that preys on the mind.
Its so wonderful to read anything Tanith Lee has written. I really enjoy the rich style she uses and the places and people she creates. Paradys is a version of Paris, medieval and romantic and the mix of stories covering religion, gender, magic and mystery are worth being involved with.
About 50 pages in and I have no idea what's going on with this book or the characters or even what the potential is for something to happen with this storyline. Bored, annoyed and giving up.
The Book of the Damned is the first of 4 volumes in the secret books of Paradys - It contains 3 novellas set in the same city, but in different eras. Other than the city connection they are thematically linked by issues of gender switching and idenity
1: Stained with Crimson Gender switching Vampires – male poet falls for female vampire, plot twist hero is a girl dressing as a guy who then becomes obsessed with the vampires brother or is it her male alter-ego. As the vampire is always portrayed as 'other' they are the perfect vehicle to explore queer idenity, and this story really runs with that idea, the vampire actually switching gender it would seem (It's not as overt as Andrew Neiderman's The Need, here its far more subtle and gothic) - The family here is Scarabin and shares a marked resemlance to the Scarabae family in Lee's darkness trilogy and the Basultes of Killing Violets - which if you are a fan, you are going to love this one. It's very gothic and I got a real Byron/Shelly era vibe from the relationships.
2. Malice in Saffron This feels Renaissance period, our heroine, a young country girl gets raped by her stepfather, runs away to find her brother who rejects her. She becomes a nun and takes bloody vengeance, having her brother raped and murdering & looting. A plague sweeps the city and she sees the error of her ways and sustains her brother by cutting off her own arm to feed him. He learns nothing and is still the obnoxious git he always was. Here we see Lee's unbalanced heroine come into play and this draws in religious themes of angels, monastic life, revelation and sin and redemption. Our lesbian heroine dresses as a man for her bloody retribution and gender issues are fairly central - with lesbian nuns, cross dressing and a bi-sexual brother.
3. Empires of Azure Gender fluidity is the central premise of this last novella. We have a gay drag artist/female impersonator - phyically sexually dormant (though all his lovers have been male) emotionally sexually responsive to females though has no interest in them physically - he finds that he could create all he wants in himself and becomes a female impersonator. He encounters a ghost of a murdered socialite Timione and takes over her pseudo Egyptian look for his latest drag act. However she was posessed by an Ancient Egyptian sorceress who eventually takes over out hero turning him into a hermaphrodite.
Fans of LGBT fantasy this is practically a bible - It explores the gammut of queer idenity all with Lee's sumptuous gothic prose at times like that of Poe. You never know what to expect from the stories or how they will end up. This was listed on the Bloomsbury's 100 must read fantasy novels list - Personally it's not the Tanith Lee I would have chosen, but I can see why they did. Its a fascinating exploration of gender as well as showcasing a lot of themes and ambiguities that show up time and again in her work.
The three stories in this book are set in the town of Paradys in Northern France over a time period that spans from the Middle Ages to the early 20th century.
Each have gender as their central theme, and each contains a transition of some kind from male to female or female to male. They are full of such dualism – male and female; dark and light; life, death and rebirth. The three central characters could be seen as one recurring character. Certainly the female writer in the third story takes her nom-de-plume from the poet in the first story – St Jean, and Jhane could easily be seen as a feminine version of Jean. The Book of the Damned is an intensely spiritual book, full of esoteric and Gnostic references. I suspect that there are layers of meaning that I have yet to discover. It is certainly a dense read, but the beautiful language and imagery makes it intensely enjoyable, as in the opening line of the first tale, Stained with Crimson.
“How fast does a man run, when the devil is after him?”
This was a different kind of fantasy book than I'm used to. I knew Lee was gothic, dark, and "adult" when I grabbed this at a used book sale. What I didn't know is that she really turns some beautiful poetic phrases.
This book is a collection of a few novellas, impressionistic and dreamlike in style. There's not a powerful oomph behind them where you feel particularly connected to the characters or learn something about yourself, though. As a kind of noir, "These are the tragedies in this phantasmagoric setting," immersion, they work very well though.
This review is kind of vague, but the books were too. Sorry.
I enjoyed this collection of novellas. All three share a setting: the mysterious city of Paradis. Although the stories happen at different moments in the history of the city, you can see references to past characters and events as you read on.
I guess by now I can safely say I'm partial to Tanith Lee. I discovered her last year with another short novel, Sabella and I was very much blown away. Again, with "The Book of the Damned" her writing was beautiful and enigmatic. Her settings and descriptions have an eerie, dream-like quality that I find very intriguing. And her plots simply don't go the usual way, they seem to follow a path of their own. There are no neat and tidy endings, no predictable turns and I find it refreshing... and also challenging, in a good way.
From this collection, all titles have to do with colors: red, yellow and blue... vampires, demons and ghosts. My favorite story was the first one. The second I found the spookiest. The third one, I don't know. I guess I was bracing for impact and I'm surprised it didn't come.
I do not know if I will continue to read the other books in this series, as horror is really not my genre and the next book is more akin to the story that I found most scary here. Lee's horror is more cerebral than gory. Many reviewers at the time of publication called it elegant and I agree. It is very nuanced and restrained, but scary anyway. ;)
I had an urge for Tanith Lee. When I get that urge, I usually go for Biting the Sun, or one of the Tales of the Flat Earth series.
But it had been awhile since I visited the twisted streets of Paradys.
The Book of the Damned is the first in Tanith Lee's Secret Books of Paradys series, a set of four books telling strange gothic stories of the city of Paradys. Paradys is vaguely based on Paris, but you won't get much actual history here, except for broad strokes of various eras: Roman, Medieval, Roaring Twenties. The Book of the Damned is a sequence of three novellas, each associated with some kind of gem of special color. These stories are obsessed with gender transformations, sex, and death.
Stained with Crimson, the first of the bunch, is by far the weakest. The atmosphere of Paradys drowns any characters or real mystery. Andre St Jean embarks on a strange vampiric love story involving duels, death, resurrection, and sex changes. This story follows dream logic and little else, and once the characters leave the city, it drags and drags.
Malice in Saffron is by far the best. Skip to this story. Cross dressing thieves, Satan worshiping nuns, and the Plague.
Empires of Azure is enjoyable, and a story that feels like an actual mystery. A drag entertainer is haunted, but perhaps not by whom he thinks.
I so enjoyed reading this again, quintessential Tanith Lee. I will proceed through the rest of the series again.
Since I don't normally write reviews unless I have something specific to say, here's the break down of how I rate my books...
1 star... This book was bad, so bad I may have given up and skipped to the end. I will avoid this author like the plague in the future.
2 stars... This book was not very good, and I won't be reading any more from the author.
3 stars... This book was ok, but I won't go out of my way to read more, But if I find another book by the author for under a dollar I'd pick it up.
4 stars... I really enjoyed this book and will definitely be on the look out to pick up more from the series/author.
5 stars... I loved this book! It had earned a permanent home in my collection and I'll be picking up the rest of the series and other books from the author ASAP.
I wish I would have read Tanith Lee when I was in high school. I would have liked this more then. All of the gender-bending was interesting, though might be out of date now. I liked the first story ("Stained With Crimson"), even if some things did not make sense. The second story ("Malice in Saffron") was been good, but there was a lot of rape. So beware if you are triggered by that. Also, why couldn't she name the dwarf? Just because you are writing something in a fancy old fashioned way, doesn't mean you should leave certain characters nameless. "Empires of Azure" was kind of bleh. Still, I think I may want to read more Tanith Lee.
My first read book by Tanith Lee, and thus began my addiction to her prose that lasted for a minimum of 10 years. It woukd have lasted longer, however her books were unavailable to me after that. Anyway, the book is divided into 3 unconventional stories all surrounded around a theme of a scarabeus. Even thinking of the beginning scene in which the reader is asked directly to imagine what a person looks like when chased by the devil still sends waves of thrill and rush along my spine. Tanith Lee's stroytelling was untouchable (to me) for such a long time, I stull recommend her, although my Fantasy reading days are stragely over