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An Uncommon Friendship: From Opposite Sides of the Holocaust
Two men, who meet and become good friends after enjoying successful adult lives in California, have experienced childhoods so tragically opposed that the two men must decide whether to talk about them or not. In 1944, 13-year-old Fritz was almost old enough to join the Hitler Youth in his German village of Kleinheubach. That same year in Tab, Hungary, 12-year-old Bernie was loaded onto a train with the rest of the village's Jewish inhabitants and taken to Auschwitz, where his whole family was murdered. How to bridge the deadly gulf that separated them in their youth, how not to allow the power of the past to separate them even now, as it separates many others, become the focus of their friendship, and together they begin the project of remembering.
The separate stories of their youth are told in one voice, at Bernat Rosner's request. He is able to retrace his journey into hell, slowly, over many sessions, describing for his friend the "other life" he has resolutely put away until now. Frederic Tubach, who must confront his own years in Nazi Germany as the story unfolds, becomes the narrator of their double memoir. Their decision to open their friendship to the past brings a poignancy to stories that are horrifyingly familiar. Adding a further and fascinating dimension is the counterpoint of their similar village childhoods before the Holocaust and their very different paths to personal rebirth and creative adulthood in America after the war.
Seldom has a memoir been so much about the present, as we see the authors proving what goodwill and intelligence can accomplish in the cause of reconciliation. This intimate story of two boys trapped in evil and destructive times, who become men with the freedom to construct their own future, has much to tell us about building bridges in our public as well as our personal lives.
The separate stories of their youth are told in one voice, at Bernat Rosner's request. He is able to retrace his journey into hell, slowly, over many sessions, describing for his friend the "other life" he has resolutely put away until now. Frederic Tubach, who must confront his own years in Nazi Germany as the story unfolds, becomes the narrator of their double memoir. Their decision to open their friendship to the past brings a poignancy to stories that are horrifyingly familiar. Adding a further and fascinating dimension is the counterpoint of their similar village childhoods before the Holocaust and their very different paths to personal rebirth and creative adulthood in America after the war.
Seldom has a memoir been so much about the present, as we see the authors proving what goodwill and intelligence can accomplish in the cause of reconciliation. This intimate story of two boys trapped in evil and destructive times, who become men with the freedom to construct their own future, has much to tell us about building bridges in our public as well as our personal lives.
284 pages, Paperback
First published April 4, 2001
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
August 27, 2019
No matter how much you read about the Holocaust, each new personal account will introduce you to new horrors and new heartbreak. This one is no different.
There are chilling, visceral descriptions of life in the camps in this book that will probably stay with me forever.
The "double memoir" style of this book, in which German American Frederic told the story of his friend Bernat, a Hungarian Holocaust survivor, is an interesting setup, and the narrator's reflection on his friend's life are very moving at times. Still, this is very much Bernat's story even though he is not the one who took pen to paper.
Although the descriptions of war-time and post-war Germany were more immediate and vivid than much of what I've read, there were parts of this memoir that really dragged. The beginning felt full of unnecessary details and gratuitous childhood recollections--and aside from the obvious external conflict of the war, there is not very much dramatic tension. While Frederic occasionally recounts something insightful that Bernat said or records a quote from his father or a soldier, there is essentially no dialogue in this book--just exposition interspersed with history, which can make for some pretty dense reading.
I would recommend it to people interested in World War II and the Holocaust, as I prefer people's real experiences over period fiction. But it wasn't the easiest book for me to get through, owing both to the subject matter and writing style.
There are chilling, visceral descriptions of life in the camps in this book that will probably stay with me forever.
The "double memoir" style of this book, in which German American Frederic told the story of his friend Bernat, a Hungarian Holocaust survivor, is an interesting setup, and the narrator's reflection on his friend's life are very moving at times. Still, this is very much Bernat's story even though he is not the one who took pen to paper.
Although the descriptions of war-time and post-war Germany were more immediate and vivid than much of what I've read, there were parts of this memoir that really dragged. The beginning felt full of unnecessary details and gratuitous childhood recollections--and aside from the obvious external conflict of the war, there is not very much dramatic tension. While Frederic occasionally recounts something insightful that Bernat said or records a quote from his father or a soldier, there is essentially no dialogue in this book--just exposition interspersed with history, which can make for some pretty dense reading.
I would recommend it to people interested in World War II and the Holocaust, as I prefer people's real experiences over period fiction. But it wasn't the easiest book for me to get through, owing both to the subject matter and writing style.
August 24, 2014
Fascinating and touching story of two friends and their journey to tell their stories of their upbringings during the Holocaust and Germany during WWII.
I liked reading their parallel stories and seeing things from a different perspective than that of a Holocaust survivor.
I liked reading their parallel stories and seeing things from a different perspective than that of a Holocaust survivor.
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September 2, 2021Eloquent story about a Holocaust survivor and the son of a German working for the SS growing up in Nazi Germany. Their stories are narrated by the German professor.
Not only was Bernie’s story of survival harrowing, hai ability to adapt to awful circumstances and see how to work the system was simply amazing! He was also lucky in many instances to have beat death. Landing in STL and going to Thomas Jefferson Prep School was interesting as I live in STL and know someone that taught there albeit after Bernie’s graduation.
Fritz’s story was also interesting since I am 50% German heritage. I had never given much thought to how the German people may have been divided on Nazism even if they were unaware of the atrocities committed by the regime. Nor had I thought about how the world treated Germans after the war and the division of the country into East and West!
Bernie has some amazing observations noted at the end of the book. They include:
Page 264- “ I totally reject the concept of mass and national guilt…Everyone, not just Germans, should be aware of the first signs of abyss, and stand up against it.” The brutal fact of Nazi crimes had come home in the form of an individual victim standing before them who appeared, not as an accuser, but as one who sketched in the simplest terms a blueprint for civilized behavior that should guide us all.
Page 267- … the architectural simplicity of Thomas Jefferson’s home…sheer perfection of the Parthenon…Those two monuments encapsulate for both of us a sense of what should be the guide in human affairs-a spirit of rationality. … Our stories imply, for Bernie and me at least, a simple affirmation of what has become hackneyed to many, namely, the universal idea of common humanity. Thought we all need to remember now when people in the US are so polarized about politics and a covid vaccines and masks!
Not only was Bernie’s story of survival harrowing, hai ability to adapt to awful circumstances and see how to work the system was simply amazing! He was also lucky in many instances to have beat death. Landing in STL and going to Thomas Jefferson Prep School was interesting as I live in STL and know someone that taught there albeit after Bernie’s graduation.
Fritz’s story was also interesting since I am 50% German heritage. I had never given much thought to how the German people may have been divided on Nazism even if they were unaware of the atrocities committed by the regime. Nor had I thought about how the world treated Germans after the war and the division of the country into East and West!
Bernie has some amazing observations noted at the end of the book. They include:
Page 264- “ I totally reject the concept of mass and national guilt…Everyone, not just Germans, should be aware of the first signs of abyss, and stand up against it.” The brutal fact of Nazi crimes had come home in the form of an individual victim standing before them who appeared, not as an accuser, but as one who sketched in the simplest terms a blueprint for civilized behavior that should guide us all.
Page 267- … the architectural simplicity of Thomas Jefferson’s home…sheer perfection of the Parthenon…Those two monuments encapsulate for both of us a sense of what should be the guide in human affairs-a spirit of rationality. … Our stories imply, for Bernie and me at least, a simple affirmation of what has become hackneyed to many, namely, the universal idea of common humanity. Thought we all need to remember now when people in the US are so polarized about politics and a covid vaccines and masks!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 1, 2022
After reading a few of my least favorite books to land on my book club list, this was a great mental palate cleanser. Reading the stories of these two fascinating men gives me a little more hope, but I can’t help but wonder if Bernie has thoughts about the USA during the Trump era and where we are now. It would be interesting to see if this would have been written with another coda or something 21 years after its initial release.
June 30, 2018
we both enjoyed it. i have given this book as a present multiple times
September 9, 2019
The content was interesting but the writing style rambled.
January 21, 2022
3.5- I found the stories of their youth interesting. I felt like the end dragged on.
May 2, 2012
This is a fantastic book about an amazing pair of gentlemen. Anyone interested in the aftermath of WWII and the ripple effects that continue to echo in our society must read this book. It is an impassioned and heartrending look at the consequences of the war from a very human and humane level. The book while dealing with violence and conflict is in fact a very spiritually uplifting and wonderful story--that crosses over so many different genres of books. It is beautifully written in a flowing and simple narrative. I was reading it concurrently with "The Long Road Home: The Aftermath of the Second World War" and "After Daybreak: The Liberation of Bergen-Belsen, 1945" both by Ben Shephard. The data sets in all three and the bibliographies cross each other, but in the case of Rosner's work the anguish in both stories is so much more personified and brought home to the modern reader that it makes all the difference in understanding those dark circumstances and events.
October 5, 2020
I have read this book 4 times now, have taught it more years than that, and it never fails to be a touching, emotional read. It's universality always surprises me in that, at its core, is a relevancy that cannot be shaken. The concepts of embracing differences, forgiving wrongs, questioning everything, and moving forward are, sadly, lessons that seem so far away in today's society; and, I find it sad to think that it takes something so horrific for these concepts to bud and bloom in anyone.
I was incredibly fortunate to meet both gentlemen at a conference on teaching the Holocaust well over a decade ago, which prompted me to buy their book. I am grateful for their "project," for their willingness to share, and for the incredible story they had bound within these pages. This is one of the most poignant and unforgettable books I have ever read.
I was incredibly fortunate to meet both gentlemen at a conference on teaching the Holocaust well over a decade ago, which prompted me to buy their book. I am grateful for their "project," for their willingness to share, and for the incredible story they had bound within these pages. This is one of the most poignant and unforgettable books I have ever read.
August 13, 2013
Just finished reading this book, "An Uncommon Friendship". The idea of parallel lives that eventually converge has fascinated me since childhood and he tells parallel WWII and emigration stories (a German child and a Jewish Hungarian child) from their point of view as children, which I like because kids notice details and see whether adults' actions match their stated beliefs. He's a very engaging writer.
August 20, 2014
An unusual Holocaust book written by a German man who was in Hitler's youth group. He becomes friends later in life with a survivor of Auschwitz, and they have collaborated on this story. It was interesting to see how different their lives were even though they lived in the same country. Fritz Tubach has some very good insights. One of my favorite quotes from the book on reading: “Reading is one of the last safe havens of individualism in an age of mass culture…” Yay for books!
September 14, 2013
I have always read books about the victims of the Holocaust and their experience, so this was such a unique read for me. This was the first book I've read about someone from the other side of the war, and about what happened to them after the war ended. It was an enlightening read which I thoroughly enjoyed.
October 12, 2014
Interesting read-loved the contrasting WW2 stories, one from the view of a young German boy & one from a young Hungarian Jewish boy. Got a little bored as they moved on to tell about their later lives.
January 1, 2010
I've known and loved Bernie, who married my college roommate, since 1958, and I thought I knew a lot about his past. I was wrong. This is a must-read book about a survivor.
August 10, 2016
Thought provoking, carefully (perhaps too carefully) constructed.
April 5, 2014
compassionate look at the consequences of the consequences of WWII
January 7, 2020
Interesting read. I think it was a great novel idea. It could still use a little work in my opinion, but absolutely great concept and I would still recommend it.
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April 27, 20174 mc8
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews