Living Among Headstones: Life in a Country Cemetery

by Shannon Applegate

A few years ago, Shannon Applegate was bequeathed a small cemetery in western Oregon. The neglected five acres were not only the burial site for generations of her family and friends but the designated resting ground for many in the nearby, down-on-its-luck logging town. Living Among Headstones chronicles the author’s experiences as she takes charge of this sacred land and finds herself plotting graves, consoling families, and confronting the funeral industry as she examines the universal question of why the living care so much about the earthly setting in which the dead are laid to rest.

Filled with humor, singular events, pathos, original illustrations, and unexpected smiles, this book offers historical asides and moving personal stories. For example, Shannon explores the language and customs of funerals as she agonizes over how to approach families who have covered graves with plastic flowers and inappropriate ornaments. In doing so, she contemplates the myriad ways cultures past and present approach the dead. In part, this is a book about rural cemeteries in contemporary America, but the sum is a meditation on how we long for those we love to have a continuing place in our world, focusing as much on life as death.

336 pages, Hardcover

First published May 10, 2005

Reviews

[Gee · Rating 3 out of 5]

turns out just anyone can write a book

[Robert Beveridge · Rating 3 out of 5]

Shannon Applegate, Living Among Headstones: Life in A Country Cemetery (Da Capo, 2005)

For some reason I had it in my head before reading this that Shannon Applegate was a twentysomething just-out-of-college type who decided to try and run a cemetery because she had no other real aims in life. I'm not entirely sure how someone would get into that situation, which should have tipped me off that I was wrong. No, Shannon Applegate was just carrying on the family business, which happened to be the running of a private (i.e., not affiliated with a particular church) cemetery. I also expected this, because of the odd picture I'd painted of the author in my head, to read like some sort of chick-lit mess, or at the very least a punk-ish DIY manual for how to get a job that no one would ever think of getting but that's actually pretty darned cool. I was entirely wrong on the first count, but if you were to take the second and have it written by, say, Anne Lamott, you might come up with something like Living Among Headstones.

This is a memoir, of sorts, and as such I'll admit that I'm biased against it at times; when it's talking about the day-to-day trials of running a cemetery, it's great, but it drifts off into ruminations about life, the universe, and everything a bit too often for me. I do understand that a lot of people seem to like that sort of thing (witness the rise of the memoir-by-person-who's-never-actually-done-anything-of-note in the past decade), and for them, this may well be a much more rewarding read than it was for me. But I don't want to sound like there was no upside to the book for me; I did learn good deal about how one runs a cemetery and the sorts of things one runs into that laymen wouldn't even think about. That works. The rest, well, it's up to you. ***

[Kris · Rating 1 out of 5]

I love the peaceful, love filled enviroment of cemetaries. I've dragged my family to gettysburg, arlington, prague, paris, and little tiny family plots on the sides of roads. So I naturally thought this book written by a country sexton would fill me in on fascinating lore and daily routines necessary to keep up a cemetary.

While it more or less did that, the writing lurched and bumped between poetic prose and plain narrative to the point of distraction. After reading a few pages I thought, "This gal has been to too many writing seminars" only to discover a few pages later she TAUGHT them. Ah-ha! Here's a sample of her writing:

"I called her from Kentucky once or twice just to check in. She laughed and said, "don't worry, so far no one 'has up and died' on you. Enjoy yourself... November's ax and wedge are poised. One sharp blow is all that will be necessary to make these colors vanish. As I drive through fog and ragged mist, smoke feathers waver from wood-stoves. I like knowing that Daniel and I managed to fill the woodshed for both our Tumblelow and the Old Place before we left for our trip."

Am I being too nit-picky here? It's kind of like riding a bike down a quiet, picturesque country lane and finding an oriental rug stretched out across part of the road. While it's beautiful, because it is so apparent it's not in its natural setting, I am jolted out of the reverie I felt enjoying nature.

Good authors make me forget that I am reading because their words flow without effort and weave seamlessly through my mind's eye. Sharon Applegate kept waving her "Hey, I'm a good writer!" flag throughout interesting facts and a weak story line. I gave up on page 241 after reading the above writing.

Great premise, sucky writing style.

[Loren · Rating 1 out of 5]

Sometimes I daydream about retiring to run the little cemetery near my parents' farm, where my relatives are buried. That said, I expected to like this book. Unfortunately, the author (who teaches writing) is no Thomas Lynch or Mary Roach or even Katherine Ramsland.

The first essay, called "Burying My Friends," could have been devastating and personal, a point of connection for the reader to sympathize with the author. Instead, the essay wanders all over, never personifying the friend or making a case for the friendship she claims to feel for him. In fact, the most interesting thing I took from the piece was that there are itinerant gravediggers who travel from one little country graveyard to the next, burying strangers. In no sense does the author actually bury her friend, since she didn't even sell the widow the grave.

Maybe the gravediggers will write a book. Or maybe a graveyard owner with poetry in her soul will step forward and tell the story of her own country cemetery. I'm sure that's much that can be said on the subject. I just didn't find it in this book.

[Koren · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was not what I expected going into it. I thought it would be more about the cemetery itself and the people who were buried there and what it takes to run a country cemetery, but it was more about her with some historical information about the death industry itself. There were some interesting things in the book but there are more interesting books about there about the death industry. As for the book description that said it was humorous, I did not find very much of this.

[Rebalioness · Rating 3 out of 5]

The chapter based in Mexico was interesting

[Whitney · Rating 3 out of 5]

Personal memoir interspersed with interesting cemetery history and related facts.

[Tracy M · Rating 2 out of 5]

There was some interesting information sprinkled through the book. Thought provoking notions that I otherwise would not have ever put mind to. There has been a biodegradable urn pod floating around FaceBook lately where remains are contained along with a plantable seed. I bring it up because it parallels the environmental conscious patent of paper-mache coffins (caskets) that is mentioned in the early part of the book.

I am one of those community volunteers who participates in the annual cemetery clean up & it's true about those hideous plastic flowers. We just bagged them all (the older ones who have been there through weather and look like trash now instead of a thoughtful gifting. After all, if the original leaver seen the derelict state they would have done the same. Broken items also get tosses out. I have a roll of twine I take to mend wind chimes whose threads have snapped or become slack. Cemeteries should be a place of reflection and mending of grief not a garbage heap or hoarders over flow.

The majority of the book left me feeling sleepy as it carried on a monotone wave.

I've romanticized about caring for a grave yard - but a quiet one. Not one actively taking in residents. The living create too much hassle

[Kathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Shannon Applegate is a member of a family who settled in the Williamette Valley in Oregon and she still lives near the original family homestead. She inherited the job of sexton of the pioneer cemetery in Yoncalla, Oregon from her father. In this book, Shannon describes her experiences in assisting bereaved families, plotting out gravesites, and arranging all burial details in addition to the constant upkeep of this five-acre cemetery set on a hillside in the country. She takes an often-shunned subject and weaves into it a engaging tale that includes her pioneer family history, small town relationships, historic practices surrounding death and her personal experiences of losing an infant granddaughter. In spite of the subject, I felt that the book explored all of these avenues with compassion and revelation and that it truly celebrated life.

[Bridgette Mongeon · Rating 3 out of 5]

I loved this book. Of course I am a little macabre because I love to read about death and dying. As a sculptor of the deceased it intrigues me how others handle this subject that I handle on a daily basis. I thought she did a great job of weaving her story into some very interesting facts about death.

[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

For all of us who like cemeteries

[Helen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this quite some time ago, but thought I'd add it since it is Halloween time. I am a huge fan of old cemeteries and I found this book fascinating.

[Eugene]

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