Present Over Perfect Study Guide: Leaving Behind Frantic for a Simpler, More Soulful Way of Living

by Shauna Niequist, Ashley Wiersma (Primary Contributor)

In this five session video Bible study, New York Times bestselling author Shauna Niequist invites you on a journey that changed her life. She will walk a path with you, a path away from frantic pushing and proving, and toward your essential self, the one you were created to be before you began proving and earning of your worth.


Shauna will help you begin leaving behind busyness and frantic living and rediscovering the person you were made to be. Present Over Perfect is a hand reaching out, pulling you free from the constant pressure to perform faster, push harder, and produce more, all while maintaining an exhausting image of perfection. She offers an honest account of what led her to begin this journey, and a compelling vision for an entirely new way to live: soaked in grace, rest, silence, simplicity, prayer, and connection with the people that matter most to us.


The study guide includes first thoughts, video notes, group discussion questions, practicing presence reflections, and solo work for you to complete between sessions.


The five sessions are:



Pain Points
The Roles We Play
Yes, And No
Unflashy, Unspectacular, Good
Living the Love
This Study Guide is designed to be used with the PRESENT OVER PERFECT DVD (9780310816034)

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Christian, Audiobook, Book Club, Spirituality, Lifestyle

144 pages, Paperback

Published November 8, 2016

About the author

Shauna Niequist is the author of Cold Tangerines, Bittersweet, and Bread & Wine. Shauna grew up in Barrington, Illinois, and then studied English and French Literature at Westmont College in Santa Barbara. She is married to Aaron Niequist, who is a pianist and songwriter. Aaron is a worship leader at Willow Creek Community Church and is recording a project called A New Liturgy. Aaron & Shauna live outside Chicago with their sons, Henry and Mac. Shauna writes about the beautiful and broken moments of everyday life--friendship, family, faith, food, marriage, love, babies, books, celebration, heartache, and all the other things that shape us, delight us, and reveal to us the heart of God.

Reviews

[Maureen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was so great as well as so convicting. I loved all of it, and the audiobook is fantastic!

[Sarah · Rating 1 out of 5]

I just finished reading two books on poverty and unequal housing options for the poor in America and am getting ready to teach social inequalities and stratification in sociology. These factors I'm sure contributed in NOT finishing this book. It was too much white privilege, and "I am so busy with all my parties and fancy life that I had to get to my summer house on a lake so I could recenter". Maybe I will appreciate her journey later. For now, it amplified the differences in wealth in our country.

[Keri Higgins · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've been really torn on how to rate this book. I really enjoyed parts of it & I related to certain chapters, but others, not at all. It was an easy read and really encouraging at times but I wish she would have addressed some of the things she did with more Gospel truths & practicalities. Apart of me loved how theologically vague it was because I feel like I spend a lot of time reading really theologically rich books so it was nice to kind of soar through, but again ...it lacked deep Gospel truths and application which I think I actually ended up being disappointed by. It seemed a bit more shallow than it could have been & also very repetitive.

[Myla · Rating 5 out of 5]

Yes, 5 stars...crazy huh? I started this because a dear friend of mine really liked it, but I knew I wasn’t going to (low expectations are always a win since you can only go up from there). And although the author and I are VERY different, the principles are the same and I found myself completely relating to her and wanting the same changes in my life! I have never filled my life with being uber busy, but I have struggled living in the moment as long as I can remember, I have many times put being responsible and getting things done (different from being busy) over enjoying the people in my life and even before this book I have wanted and made changes. So this kind of felt like validation and someone cheering me on that what I was doing was good and to keep going and even kick it up a notch! I would recommend for any woman creeping up in her 30’s and beyond. Plus it’s super short, it only took me a few days to listen to it.

[Dee · Rating 3 out of 5]

I listened to the audio version of this book.

Admittedly, I didn't really know of Shauna Niequist before reading this book so I had no idea she was a Christian author from a high-profile Christian family. Therefore a lot of the Christian undertones were not something I had anticipated, and that wasn't something I was looking for. That said, it's not a bad book and there are some passages that spoke to me amidst a lot of repetition. I think the book could've been cut in half and still said the same thing. I think the author sensed a progression in her story that maybe is as recognizable from the outside. Basically, she is saying not to seek your validation externally. For her, it's Jesus who gives her unconditional validation.

As a working parent I appreciate the stress she was under when she began this journey. But I also see a tremendous amount of privilege. She was stressed because she was booking hundreds of speaking engagements because people wanted to hear her speak. Challenging, yes, but self-managed. She did have to get over own idea of what success meant, what she wanted her life to look like. But in the meantime, she had her family vacation house to go to. She didn't have the kind of job that only gave her two weeks vacation. She could spend a month by the water thinking about her life. That's extreme privilege. Even after making this decision, she's still in existential pain in Hawaii. Now, anyone can feel deep inner anguish, whether you are poor or a millionaire. But in Hawaii with your family?

Still and all, I liked Shauna. I think she'd be a nice friend or neighbor. The kind who over thinks everything, but a nice person. I wish her well and will keep hoping for the Present Over Perfect: Agnostic Style book from someone else. The irony is that I suspect this book put her more in demand. I hope she uses the knowledge she's gained to keep it manageable for her as she enjoys her quiet cup of coffee in her not-as-clean house.

I feel like I sound bitter. Jealous might be more like it. I'd love to dial it back. Work 20 hours instead of 40. Spend quality time with my child instead of hustling to keep food on the table. Or think about my life on a beach for a month. Maybe when I figure it out, I'll have Shauna narrate my audio book. She does have a great voice for radio - very soothing and calm, ideal for her story.

[Samantha Kurtz · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars// This was my first Niequist book and I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed this read. I was a bit weary after reading some (harsh) reviews. After finishing the book I thought that a lot of the reviews are quite nit picky and honestly, a bit legalistic. Nevertheless, I do agree this book leans more as a memoir than an “instruction” book. The whole premise of this book is so good and SO relevant to really any female in any life stage. Does it dive deep into the heart of the matter? Not quite as much as I wanted. But I enjoyed Niequist’s writing style, her honesty about faith, and her relatable personality. I would read another book of hers based off these things.

[Jess Anderson · Rating 2 out of 5]

I used the book as part of mom book group without the study guide. The book is an easy read but the writing style is more of a journal of self reflection over the course of time. If you’re looking for practical application to your own life this isn’t the book for you (maybe would’ve been different with the study guide video series). If you are just looking for a light read into an internal thought process, totally fine.

[Jennie Dirks · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really liked the premise of the title, present over perfect, but this book seemed to fall short for me. Thankfully, it was a short audiobook.

[Carolyn Carmel · Rating 5 out of 5]

My only regret is i didn’t read this book 24 years ago when i became a mother!

[Sharon · Rating 3 out of 5]

I took some notes as I went (below) to keep track. I don't normally read this type of book but a friend recommended it on facebook so I gave it a shot. One woman's story about slowing down and learning to enjoy life instead of being busy: always responsible, competent, and perfect. Light easy read. Still not sure how I feel about it overall, but some good advice we should always remind ourselves of - to be silly and fun and not just responsible and driven. Worthy of being loved just for being yourself not accomplishments. I started to rate it a 2 but decided that was unfair just because it's not my normal type of book. I can see how for some this would be a great book and it was calming to read.
self-help/memoir/religious genre/s

1st section - busy mom life, figuring out what's important, saying no
2nd section - praying and loving oneself, silence (religious references throughout the rest too)
3rd section - agency - owning your own life - making choices of lifestyle, mess/perfection
4th - "addicted to motion" finding your own pace, resting
5th - opinion of others, no need to please all but do respect - pjs/sleep, simple dressing, house - declutter
6th -responsibility versus warm and whimsical "throwing candy", I like this part because it is hard to be in charge of everything and still be whimsical - to not feel guilty about having fun when the (endless) to-do list is not finished, her fuel is love

[Donna · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book and it gave me some spiritual ideas that I will take into my life and use. I know some reviews are speaking that they cannot relate because the author is speaking of having a successful career, BUT I think that you need to read this and relate it to the season that you are in---if you do, there are aspects of this book that give some rays of light into a less hectic, more simple lifestyle. I work from home and have kids and, although I cannot relate to all the travel she was doing at this point in my life, I could relate to the "slow down." I am constantly running with all on my to-do list, this book was great at giving me another prospective on that to-do list and other ways to accomplish it. I think it is a good read and written very conversationally, which makes it an easy read too---and I like those. I feel like I could be friends with the author, easily. :)

[Olivia · Rating 4 out of 5]

With the idea of making space for grace taking center stage on my heart (and bookshelf) recently, I couldn't pass up Shauna's book based on the title alone. I loved the style of her rambled memoir/ self-help mashup. I know that others have commented that they didn't like her meandering thought process, but I actually felt that it cemented the ideas of slow grace she discusses.

It's a great book for slow mornings and big cups of coffee, best consumed a few chapters at a time and allowed to ruminate. Only downside is that I was hoping this would be a bit more discussion friendly for a small group, but it seems to work better for introspection than intense discussion. I can also see how this book is aimed at "achiever" personalities, and it might not resonate with people outside of that circle. Overall, well worth the time for anyone who tends to focus on results instead of the journey.

[Kate Sherron · Rating 5 out of 5]

I highlighted about half of the entire book to remember as quotes... which sort of defeated the point of highlighting just the highlights. This book hit the nail on the head for me being a “go, go, goer”. It made me stop and review my upcoming plans and evaluate If they really made me happy or if I was just keeping the plans to make other people happy and feel I was reliable. As someone who overcommits and runs myself ragged with plans, this book was definitely meaningful for me and helped me pause and reflect on if “go, go, going” was really worth it. Highly recommend if you’re high energy as well and struggle to say “no” whenever someone asks you to attend an event even if you’re exhausted already.

[Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sometimes I find a book that I have to take slowly and savor. This is one of them. Shauna Niequist talks of her struggle to leave a life of saying "yes" to the rat race and spending all her time working, traveling, speaking and doing all those things that constitute success in our culture. After years, her health breaking down and her family missing wife and mommy, she came to a decision to change her focus and how she lives her life. I recognize that struggle. I think I underlined about everything. I feel as if I have permission to "drop out" here and there instead of trying to do everything. Thank you, Shauna.

[Huda Fel · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s January 2018, and I’m reading this book while enjoying a commitment-free Winter break at home. I would categorize it among “spiritual reads”. This book creates a safe space for its readers to process and reflect on their life decisions and it was kinda fun to see the connections I made with some of its lines.

“I hate being gone. So i make sure when i’m home, i'm super home!”

“We disappoint people because we’re limited. We have to accept the idea of our own limitations.”

“My crazy brain has always been my gift and my challenge.”

[Kathi Roach · Rating 5 out of 5]

GameChanger! This is the one word I'd use to describe Shauna's latest book. In Present Over Perfect Shauna gives the reader permission to just say no. Strangely, when I got this book I found myself buried under a heavy load of parenting & life commitments. Since reading, I've no'd my way to a better life. One where I've said yes to being present in my own life & I never want to go back.

Thank you Shauna for pouring your heart & soul into this book. I'm forever grateful.

[Kristen Ellsworth · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked this book. It made me think about my priorities in life and that I need to be more present with my family. I kept on thinking though; ok, now just tell me what to do in my life! I just need someone to tell me what to do or change 😂 The book could’ve been a lot shorter. It was really just about her and her journey. You really just need to read half of it.

[Ann Marie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m still only about half way through this book, and I’ve liked it so much that I’ve already recommended it to several friends. Shauna’s experiences are so genuine and relatable. This book has inspired me to be more intentional and honest in how I live each day.

[Carrie Lynn · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you’re looking for a cut and dry self help book- skip this one. BUT if you’re looking for poetic musings from a woman who got centered, spiritual and present, this is great. I am surprised by how many times the lines of this book come to my mind through out the day. Short and sweet.

[Sheila · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book encouraging and challenging. I would highly recommend it. If there is a chapter that doesn't fit with you, you can skip and still get value from the book. It is a short but powerful read.

[Jenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 Stars

[Maria Dismondy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I loved the concept of this book. There were some very positive parts but I felt like the same message was repeated with similar stories.

[Laura Marass · Rating 3 out of 5]

Typical for this type of book. Anecdotes from an author, sharing her experiences through living, learning, and changing. Each chapter was succinct, thoughtful, and entertaining.

[Kristy Hebert · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a game-changer for me! Definitely at a stage in my life where I needed to read it!

[Renee]

AMAZING!! I need to read this once a year.

[Juanita · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked this book. Lots of her points hit home. They were things I had known but she articulated them so well and I loved some of her analogies.

[Angela · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was very good. Easily 4.5 stars. The only reason it wasn’t 5 was it lacked practical steps to become present over perfect. First I love the phrase present over perfect so much more than progress over perfection because it emphasizes the presence not the hustle implied in the word progress.

I would describe this as a memoir of how one woman left behind the hustle culture and connected with her authentic self. What makes it different than other such stories is that she tells her story through a Christian lens. It’s not preachy though. She uses prayer and a connection to Jesus to remind herself of her inherent worth.

I really related to her description of a darkness within that ruined the best moments of her life. She conquered this with a heart meditation and visualization. She also had a mantra of No and Less. She unburdened herself of commitments that didn’t feed her priority. She simplified everything down to the bones and the simplicity built momentum. I actually think I could have fewer things and say no and do less. What I struggle with is what to fill the space that is left. Will the silence answer that question?

[Dr. Dena · Rating 3 out of 5]

I appreciated the reminder to slow down and be present. I could relate to the health struggles. The workbook was helpful to think through barriers.

Stars down for the DVD instruction, I found it self-absorbed, and missing the context of perfectionism: supremacy guised as gender roles. Women are usually caregivers plus volunteers for family and church. Naturally we feel overwhelmed and burnt out. We help each other, but the demands on people these days are unsustainable. I'd like to hear more validation of this because otherwise I hear self-flagellation, which puts us to status quo. And I suspect works made in haste out of trials. It takes time to change a life.

[Jamie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found so much I could relate to in this book, so many beautifully written, poignant quotes. I am nowhere near as spiritual or religious as the author (it comes up a lot, as it's literally part of every aspect of her life - she even met her husband because of her faith), but it did not bother me. Even without being a churchgoing person, there is plenty in here to keep in mind and use to propel you forward.

[Melanie · Rating 1 out of 5]

I gave up only a few minutes in when the author said something along the lines of “it’s not about having the cleaners come more often”… a clear sign for me that this would be another shallow book by someone too privileged to realize that her “advice” is useless for people with limited resources (which - surprise - is the majority)