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The Confident Parent: A Pediatrician's Guide to Caring for Your Little One--Without Losing Your Joy, Your Mind, or Yourself
A much-needed guide that delivers essential baby and child-care advice while reminding parents to calm down and trust themselves.
Parents are more overwhelmed than ever before -- juggling demands on their time as well as conflicting advice from family, friends, frenemies and "experts" on how to achieve parental perfection. Pediatrician Jane Scott has seen this parental anxiety up close, and in The Confident Parent she shares advice on how to cut through the confusion, dial down the insecurities and unhelpful advice, and simply do what countless parents around the world have done throughout respond to their little one's needs without overthinking, overstimulating, and overparenting.
Informed by a unique global perspective, The Confident Parent shows readers how to be not just better caregivers but happier and more balanced human beings. The book covers the basics of baby and child-care from breastfeeding and sleep training to managing temper tantrums, offering a fresh perspective that’s both commonsense and liberating. Takeaways
* Children are strong and resilient--unless parents teach them not to be.
* Picky eating is learned, not innate.
* There is such a thing as being too careful.
This upbeat and empowering guide shows how small changes can yield big results -- helping both parents and kids feel more secure, confident, and connected.
Parents are more overwhelmed than ever before -- juggling demands on their time as well as conflicting advice from family, friends, frenemies and "experts" on how to achieve parental perfection. Pediatrician Jane Scott has seen this parental anxiety up close, and in The Confident Parent she shares advice on how to cut through the confusion, dial down the insecurities and unhelpful advice, and simply do what countless parents around the world have done throughout respond to their little one's needs without overthinking, overstimulating, and overparenting.
Informed by a unique global perspective, The Confident Parent shows readers how to be not just better caregivers but happier and more balanced human beings. The book covers the basics of baby and child-care from breastfeeding and sleep training to managing temper tantrums, offering a fresh perspective that’s both commonsense and liberating. Takeaways
* Children are strong and resilient--unless parents teach them not to be.
* Picky eating is learned, not innate.
* There is such a thing as being too careful.
This upbeat and empowering guide shows how small changes can yield big results -- helping both parents and kids feel more secure, confident, and connected.
288 pages, Paperback
Published November 1, 2016
89 people are currently reading
452 people want to read
About the author
Jane Scott
1 bookLibrarian's note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 40 reviews
June 24, 2017
I appreciated the general message, but Scott's simultaneous acknowledgement and then prompt dismissal of the sociocultural and political factors that contribute to parental anxiety (income inequality, lack of access to high quality childcare or outdoor spaces) was annoying and unhelpful.
December 21, 2016
Love this fresh perspective. Scott doesn't let parents off the hook by saying, "do your best" or "we'll find your style in other cultures if we look hard enough so you'll feel better about yourself" and yet she is not preachy or pedantic. For those of us who's parenting role models were not so great, or if you're raising a baby on your own away from your tribe this is a great book and, as the cover says, a confidence booster. Read as a supplement to books by Dr Sears and Heidi Murkoff.
Recommended for new and not-so-new parents.
Recommended for new and not-so-new parents.
February 4, 2022
This book was such a breath of fresh air! I loved the comparison with other cultures/counties- we have a lot to learn from their parenting methods.
December 20, 2022
I found this book to be immensely reassuring! Some of the advice won’t be relevant for a while, but in general made me feel less scared to become a parent.
April 18, 2020
Solidna, ulovi se tu i tamo koja dobra misao i koji dobar savjet. Možda bi mi bila bolja da nisam prije nje citala puno (kvalitetnije) literature o roditeljstvu.
October 6, 2017
No groundbreaking information here, but all around solid advice, especially for first time parents. The last two chapters, about discipline and play were most relevant for me.
April 21, 2018
This was a quick, interesting read and for the most part I agreed and picked up some great tips from the author...other times I found myself rolling my eyes, which I feel like is typical when listening to parenting advice anyway. I love the emphasis on ignoring the culture of fear around parenting/safety and just relaxing/enjoying the moment etc. and being a happier parent.
March 7, 2023
Where do I even begin to explain the problems with this book. First of all, this book is not what is advertised. While she bookends the overly detailed “how to birth/feed/sleep train/nurture your child” chapters with reminders to not be anxious and give your child more freedom to explore and make mistakes, I found the majority of this book, ironically, to be stress-inducing and far from confidence-inspiring.
One of my biggest issues with this book is how the author contradicts herself at every turn. She talks of giving birth to her fourth child in America (after giving birth to the other three overseas) and how it floored her that they preemptively hooked her up to an IV when she knew from prior experience that this wasn’t necessary. A mere three pages later, she implores you to happily accept these proactive safety measures because “in the birthing room, if something does go wrong, it can go wrong extremely fast.”
Likewise, she commends the women of rural Africa for the calm and accepting way they approach the natural process of childbirth despite not having medical assistance during labor. Six pages later, she includes a footnote to warn you of the dangers of home birth. In fact, the entire second chapter is chock full of all the things that could go wrong immediately following birth. So much for inspiring confidence!
Exclusive breastfeeding is discouraged, not only for the apparent toll it takes on the mother (not bothering to account for the fact that, if you are the primary caregiver, you’re going to be feeding the child 95% of the time regardless of how you are feeding them), but also because she has seen the way it causes separation anxiety in infants/toddlers.
She doesn’t like bouncers, swings, carriers, or even pack ‘n plays. Evidently she believes babies should either be roaming free or sitting on their mother’s hip regardless of other demands on a mother’s time that require occasional use of these tools. In one instance, she recounts the multiple times she has had to point out to a baby-wearing mother that her baby’s leg was turning blue from lack of circulation. But also, you shouldn’t leave your child in his car seat when not in the car (and she doesn’t care if said removal interrupts a nap). I’m honestly not sure how she expects a woman to navigate the grocery store, especially with multiple children. Also, the assumption that a child will go back to sleep after you awaken them seems extremely naive. Did this woman truly raise four children?
Things I learned about parenting according to this book:
1) My home birth needlessly endangered my child and I would have been better off at a hospital where I could have gotten a “necessary” c-section before anyone bothered to learn that I was fully capable of vaginally delivering a breech baby in a timely manner.
2) Exclusively breastfeeding my daughter was needlessly stressful. Surely more stressful than having to trudge all the way to the kitchen at 1am to fix a bottle. (Oh wait. I’m supposed to make my husband do that, never mind the fact that the baby is my full time job and I can sleep on her schedule whereas he has to wake up at 5:30 in the morning.)
3) I did sleep training all wrong. What was I thinking, nursing her to sleep in the living room before putting her to bed in her own room? I should have put her in her crib calm, clean, and well fed, but fully awake. Maybe then she would have been sleeping through the night at six weeks. I had to wait a whole three months for her to adapt to my way of doing it. How silly of me.
Seriously, if you are a first time parent experiencing any level of anxiety about having a child, do yourself a favor and put this book back on the shelf. It’s not worth the stress.
One of my biggest issues with this book is how the author contradicts herself at every turn. She talks of giving birth to her fourth child in America (after giving birth to the other three overseas) and how it floored her that they preemptively hooked her up to an IV when she knew from prior experience that this wasn’t necessary. A mere three pages later, she implores you to happily accept these proactive safety measures because “in the birthing room, if something does go wrong, it can go wrong extremely fast.”
Likewise, she commends the women of rural Africa for the calm and accepting way they approach the natural process of childbirth despite not having medical assistance during labor. Six pages later, she includes a footnote to warn you of the dangers of home birth. In fact, the entire second chapter is chock full of all the things that could go wrong immediately following birth. So much for inspiring confidence!
Exclusive breastfeeding is discouraged, not only for the apparent toll it takes on the mother (not bothering to account for the fact that, if you are the primary caregiver, you’re going to be feeding the child 95% of the time regardless of how you are feeding them), but also because she has seen the way it causes separation anxiety in infants/toddlers.
She doesn’t like bouncers, swings, carriers, or even pack ‘n plays. Evidently she believes babies should either be roaming free or sitting on their mother’s hip regardless of other demands on a mother’s time that require occasional use of these tools. In one instance, she recounts the multiple times she has had to point out to a baby-wearing mother that her baby’s leg was turning blue from lack of circulation. But also, you shouldn’t leave your child in his car seat when not in the car (and she doesn’t care if said removal interrupts a nap). I’m honestly not sure how she expects a woman to navigate the grocery store, especially with multiple children. Also, the assumption that a child will go back to sleep after you awaken them seems extremely naive. Did this woman truly raise four children?
Things I learned about parenting according to this book:
1) My home birth needlessly endangered my child and I would have been better off at a hospital where I could have gotten a “necessary” c-section before anyone bothered to learn that I was fully capable of vaginally delivering a breech baby in a timely manner.
2) Exclusively breastfeeding my daughter was needlessly stressful. Surely more stressful than having to trudge all the way to the kitchen at 1am to fix a bottle. (Oh wait. I’m supposed to make my husband do that, never mind the fact that the baby is my full time job and I can sleep on her schedule whereas he has to wake up at 5:30 in the morning.)
3) I did sleep training all wrong. What was I thinking, nursing her to sleep in the living room before putting her to bed in her own room? I should have put her in her crib calm, clean, and well fed, but fully awake. Maybe then she would have been sleeping through the night at six weeks. I had to wait a whole three months for her to adapt to my way of doing it. How silly of me.
Seriously, if you are a first time parent experiencing any level of anxiety about having a child, do yourself a favor and put this book back on the shelf. It’s not worth the stress.
April 5, 2021
Not great. While she does make valid points about how other kids are raised in other cultures, she fails to point out the problems with those same things in those cultures--I lived in Cameroon for awhile, and I saw the health and mental issues kids have for myself. She's got some helpful tips, but she also engages in fear mongering herself as she throws out statistics like more kids having flat heads--yeah, my kid had issues with that, and I even tried her special tortle hat, but it was because there were delivery difficulties and we started PT for him very early to help fix it before it became a helmet issue (successful), not because he didn't have the opportunity to move and play. She also throws out rising child obesity numbers, playing on fears of having health issues for your kids to advocate for feeding a certain way. I find that the best way to keep my joy is to use a mix of dinner and lunch things that work for us--some homemade, some from cans, some takeout--what we can afford and what works with our schedules. I take food allergies more seriously than she does because they're a huge problem in my family--she can afford to be dismissive, I can't. My kiddo doesn't get bananas from me not because I'm afraid for him, but because I don't want to have to use my epipen on myself. My biggest problem is that she wants to come across as encouraging, but mostly it reads as a judgement on American parents in general and her tips are so basic that it's a little insulting that she assumes we need them. Maybe some parents do, and maybe they will find this book useful. Me, not so much.
September 2, 2017
I believe one of the most effective parts of being a good parent is being confident. Discipline with meaning and enhance your child's life -- by meaning it. Deeply. That confidence determines whether your kid will run away and laugh at your punishment or whether she will smile and comply with your rules. I hope to continue to be a confident parent, and every book I read allows me the opportunity to be the best Mom I can be.
This book is very good, and gives plenty of advice about how to set up routines and rules, and how to be in control -- in a loving, warm, and happy home. I highly recommend it.
This book is very good, and gives plenty of advice about how to set up routines and rules, and how to be in control -- in a loving, warm, and happy home. I highly recommend it.
July 19, 2024
🎧 I really love Dr. Jane’s perspective on parenthood and parenting and felt like this book aligned with my values in a lot of ways. It’s important for Western world parents to realize that other cultures do things differently when raising their children, and nothing is necessarily right or wrong. There were multiple takeaways for me in this read even though I am about to have my third child. The section about breast milk and formula touched my heart the most and I REALLY wish I had heard information like that when struggling to breastfeed my first born. Absolutely recommended for soon to be parents.
May 6, 2019
Overall good read. the author, as much as I agreed with her thoughts, was a little obnoxious at times, a little bit of a bragger, but it didn’t ruin the book, just made me skim a little faster through certain paragraphs. The moral of the book is to stop living in fear when raising children and separating the horror stories parents love to spread between what is realistic and what is not realistic. She has many tips on how to get through some tough parts of child rearing which I found similar to other books and articles I’ve read and very helpful/informative.
February 9, 2022
I felt judged a lot, but the message she's trying to put out (play more, worry less) is one I agree with. I feel like she speaks from a privileged position, which makes it hard to keep an open mind, but after a couple of chapters it got better. Interestingly, she mentions Holland as a country where parents don't spend hours dealing with crying children who don't sleep (ummm, Dutch person here and yes, we do) and that Dutch babies sleep more (not all do, I can assure you). So I take her comments on how great it is in other countries with a grain of salt too 😂😉
November 10, 2024
There were lots of thought provoking things in this book, especially as it relates to a more relaxed form of parenting that is most commonly seen in other cultures. I found the author was strangely dogmatic about things that seemed to go against her main message: for example, being really against home births and at least slightly antagonistic towards the “breast is best” movement. Her emphasis, however, on letting children play freely and take risks is a message that I think many parents could take to heart!
July 8, 2017
I liked this book's central thesis: it is both possible and desirable to be a happy, calm, relaxed parent of infants and toddlers. I liked everything except the odd fixation on flat head syndrome (the author's specialty I guess) and the chapter on discipline (agreed with some of it but not all). Overall this would be a great read for a first time parent--encouraging with no trace of fear-mongering (I'm looking at you, What to Expect).
September 25, 2017
Dr. Scott has a refreshing perspective, solid advice, and a fascinating life story spanning several continents. She occasionally gets repetitive, but generally her writing voice is less irritating than what I've found in most parenting books. I took more of a general philosophy and encouragement from it rather than a long list of specific tips, but I think it would have been invaluable if I'd read it when my son was a newborn.
I listened to the audio book version through Hoopla.
I listened to the audio book version through Hoopla.
January 15, 2025
The takeaways: dismiss fear-mongering, do what you can to prioritize what matters and let go of what doesn’t, and do what you can to make your family life playful, appropriately risky, and simplified. Like the message of the book, I will take what works from this and forget the rest. There are some conflicting ideas within, and some points I may disagree with, but the counter narrative to perfectionistic parenting advice was useful.
July 9, 2024
I thought this book was actually really great and helped see parenthood through a new perspective. I really enjoyed the aim of helping parents realize that life doesn’t have to be so complicated and strict when it comes to children. I feel a lot more confident after reading this book and will definitely pass it on to other new parents!
June 29, 2019
No real mind blowing information here. It was a nice easy read. Some chapters were more applicable than others given the stage our family is at which is to be expected, but the ones that did apply, lacked detailed where it mattered.
February 21, 2022
I'm sure it helps that a lot of this book just reinforced things I already feel but it does feel good to hear them from someone else and hopefully I can actually resist the pull to protect my daughter from everything and let her live, as the book prescribes
September 13, 2017
An easy and quick read. It has useful tips and answers to FAQs which are very informative.
November 20, 2017
Nice little confidence boost. Loved her insights!
December 9, 2020
Absolutely loved!
March 19, 2022
Babyhood is over. :(
Onto the toddler phase. Help!
Onto the toddler phase. Help!
June 14, 2022
I liked this, with some practical advice!
September 11, 2022
She presents “facts” without appropriate context, implying causes that have no scientific evidence. Her general pitch encouraging parents to be less anxious is nice in theory, though.
November 20, 2022
In conclusion good book, but maybe oversimplifing parenthood.
February 24, 2023
The book was informative, but I didn’t like the delivery.
December 25, 2023
Read this book for confidence building and a stress free initial days with your newborn. It works. Jane Scott helped me through this book!
January 21, 2022
A book packed full of ideas, tips, tricks for new parents. One of the most positive parts of this book is almost everything that is recommended cost nothing to implement. This book steers away from consumerism and public pressures of parenting. This book examines parenting across cultures, but is written for the American parent looking to break free from the expectations of stress and hardship American Society places upon parents.
The majority of the authors observations on parenting across cultures are also backed up by research and her work as a pediatrician.
Occasionally some of the phrasing and storytelling can feel judgmental. However, the author grows to great lengths to focus on supporting parents and the health of children.
The majority of the authors observations on parenting across cultures are also backed up by research and her work as a pediatrician.
Occasionally some of the phrasing and storytelling can feel judgmental. However, the author grows to great lengths to focus on supporting parents and the health of children.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 40 reviews