Finding the Right Spot: When Kids Can't Live With Their Parents

by Janice Levy, Whitney Martin (Illustrator)

A young girl living with her foster parent describes the emotional ups and downs of being separated from her mother and living in unfamiliar surroundings.

Genres: Childrens, Picture Books, Fostering, Family, Adoption

48 pages, Hardcover

First published February 1, 2004

Reviews

[Kim · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wonderful book that faces the topic of children in foster care. Explains why they are not with their parents. Will help a kid open up about being in foster care. Includes a Note to Caregivers to help adults understand and assist children that are in foster care. Highly recommend.

[Ryan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is about foster kids. It has some really cute happy moments and some sad ones too. It makes you appreciate a good foster parent. I love the artwork in it too.

[DeJa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a bit different form the other children books I've read. Its kind of a read, and I think keeping younger children involved in it will be difficult. Its a beautiful read though talking about children who are in foster care. The whole book revolved around a child was taken from her mother’s care as her mother went through rehab. The main character is a female and a new dog and it just shows throughout the book how they’ve both been hurt but slowly start to open up to the love their new caregiver is giving them. The quality though is amazing. Reading this book to children who are a bit older maybe around 6,7 would really enjoy the illustration.

[Cyndi Whitmore · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a kinship placement/soon to be adoptive parent for a child in care whose mother's rights have been terminated, which has also resulted in seperation from her step and biological siblings, I was looking for a book to help my niece make progress in her therapy, which has stalled due to her resistance to talk about her feelings or time period immediately before being removed from her home and her time in a non relative foster home (prior to placement with me). She started reading the book on her own (she's almost 7, but reading several grade levels ahead and prefers to read independently), stopping a couple times to share details with me as she identified with the character and was excited about the parallels she saw. As soon asthe character expressed feelings of anger towards her mother, (as she does in therapy), my niece shut down, and didn't want to read further. We later decided to read the book together, with me reading aloud. Though still resistant to any "bad" feelings, my neice clearly identified with the story and the character. It wasn't a magic solution, but one of a number of strategies that are helping my niece to normalize her feelings about the circumstances leading to her placement in foster care, and express/process them. Since we read it aloud together, I've seen my niece with the book a handful of times and keep finding it around the house. She seems to be reading excerpts... I've not seen her with it long enough for a complete read in one sitting, and it's definitely not a book she seeks out at bedtime (I rarely see the book in her room). I would recommend this book in conjunction with a supportive adult on hand for at least the first reading and preferably, an appointment in the very near future with a good therapist familiar with child trauma & seperation issues.

[Naomi Kenorak · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. It would be wonderful to read to kids in foster care or adopted from foster care and it’s insightful reading for both foster and adoptive parents. Everything here is well done: the tone, the perpetual hopefulness of the child, the unconditional supportive love of the foster parent, Aunt Dane, who knows when to hug and when to offer sympathy, and how to say just the right thing, like “Yesterday is history, tomorrow a mystery. Today is a gift.”

The words are few and simple and pure poetry. When the little girl’s mom doesn’t show up to her birthday party, Aunt Dane says, “Everyday can be a birthday, why not? It just gives me the change to bake another cake.” There is Jake the dog, who can’t be touched at first because, as Aunt Dane says, “Jake’s got a sack full of memories… a whole bunch of stuff we don’t know anything about. Give him time. Let him unpack.” If you've been through it, it's the sort of book that will make you cry. Aunt Dane is the very model of a marvelous foster mother – all love and a backbone of steel and the ability to be completely present and loving and yet also able to root for the mother to succeed and become a real mom to her daughter. Inspirational.

[Terry]

This book offers ways for the child to relate to the protagonist’s emotions of anger, sadness, hope, and disappointment. It is equally appropriate for adults who work with children living without their parents. Read te review.

[Sammie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book may look like a children's book, but it is much more than that. It is a happy, but sad story of what a little girl has to go through with a mentally ill mother who makes promises that she doesn't intend to keep.