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I Was a Teenage Dwarf: Stories
This hysterical follow-up to The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis details the lifelong pursuits of the pint-sized Don Juan
Each chapter—straight from the diaries of Dobie Gillis—is a true experience from our hero’s life between the ages of thirteen to thirty. All the experiences are about girls, because that’s what Dobie’s life is girls.
In “ Their Cause and Cure,” Dobie is a sixth-grader with the serious issue of being shorter than every girl in his class. A petite cellist with leaky tear ducts is his best bet until a beautiful rock-and-roll chick arrives at school. Dobie falls hard for the new girl, not realizing that she’s due for a growth spurt.
Two years later, Dobie has more important concerns. In “Puberty Is Here to Stay,” his girlfriend, Tuckie Webb, goes away to summer camp and comes back more stunning than ever. Too bad she has hulking seventeen-year-old Murder McIntyre attached to her arm.
Fifteen years later, Dobie weds his college sweetheart, Chloe. Marriage, it turns out, is the cure for Dobie’s obsession with girls, but money worries now plague our hero’s mind. When baby Pete arrives and Chloe spends all their cash on vitamins, nursery school, fencing lessons, and fancy dogs, Dobie fears he’ll never have the nest egg he desires. Then he realizes that he already has the two things a man really a beautiful, loving wife and a happy child.
Each chapter—straight from the diaries of Dobie Gillis—is a true experience from our hero’s life between the ages of thirteen to thirty. All the experiences are about girls, because that’s what Dobie’s life is girls.
In “ Their Cause and Cure,” Dobie is a sixth-grader with the serious issue of being shorter than every girl in his class. A petite cellist with leaky tear ducts is his best bet until a beautiful rock-and-roll chick arrives at school. Dobie falls hard for the new girl, not realizing that she’s due for a growth spurt.
Two years later, Dobie has more important concerns. In “Puberty Is Here to Stay,” his girlfriend, Tuckie Webb, goes away to summer camp and comes back more stunning than ever. Too bad she has hulking seventeen-year-old Murder McIntyre attached to her arm.
Fifteen years later, Dobie weds his college sweetheart, Chloe. Marriage, it turns out, is the cure for Dobie’s obsession with girls, but money worries now plague our hero’s mind. When baby Pete arrives and Chloe spends all their cash on vitamins, nursery school, fencing lessons, and fancy dogs, Dobie fears he’ll never have the nest egg he desires. Then he realizes that he already has the two things a man really a beautiful, loving wife and a happy child.
222 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 1959
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85 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
May 10, 2018
If you read and enjoyed THE MANY LOVES OF DOBIE GILLIS, here is the next chapter--in the form of several chapters in the life of our hero, from a 13-year-old who writes about "Girls: Their Cause and Cure" through....could it be possible? Has Dobie Gillis finally found THE ONE?! You'll see, and along the way...
"If you put me up against a new situation where my memory can't help, I will goof nine times out of nine." (Location 294)
"...Pa used to be a boy so he knows how things are with me. As for my knowing how things are with him, I'd frankly rather not." (Location 311)
"Man, the noise! I mean it sounds like ... Chinese New Year's or like that! ... I've been in Nate's house a few times ... and I thought I was inside Gene Krupa's drum." (Location 343)
About "Nate's house": it's next door to the Gillis residence on a street that's called "Ocean View Drive because if you drive far enough, you get a view of the ocean" and as for the architect, "Last I heard, he was drinking himself to death in Honduras or Tahiti or someplace that doesn't have an extradition treaty with the U.S." (Location 326)
"If I live to be a hundred--which is doubtful because I don't think I'm going to make fifteen--" ("Been there!" at Location 433)
"I made every mistake in the book, as you can see from having read thus far in this one." (Location 865)
"I'm not trying to tell you I'm a Greek god or like that. I mean, who ever heard of a Greek god my height?" (Location 970)
"Well, I'm here to tell you that except maybe in famine areas and like that, you couldn't of found a more miserable person than me." (Location 1062)
"I think it's very important for people to know if they're a writer or not." (Location 1392)
Well, Max Shulman is quite the writer and Dobie Gillis is quite the creation. Enjoy!
Thanks for reading.
"If you put me up against a new situation where my memory can't help, I will goof nine times out of nine." (Location 294)
"...Pa used to be a boy so he knows how things are with me. As for my knowing how things are with him, I'd frankly rather not." (Location 311)
"Man, the noise! I mean it sounds like ... Chinese New Year's or like that! ... I've been in Nate's house a few times ... and I thought I was inside Gene Krupa's drum." (Location 343)
About "Nate's house": it's next door to the Gillis residence on a street that's called "Ocean View Drive because if you drive far enough, you get a view of the ocean" and as for the architect, "Last I heard, he was drinking himself to death in Honduras or Tahiti or someplace that doesn't have an extradition treaty with the U.S." (Location 326)
"If I live to be a hundred--which is doubtful because I don't think I'm going to make fifteen--" ("Been there!" at Location 433)
"I made every mistake in the book, as you can see from having read thus far in this one." (Location 865)
"I'm not trying to tell you I'm a Greek god or like that. I mean, who ever heard of a Greek god my height?" (Location 970)
"Well, I'm here to tell you that except maybe in famine areas and like that, you couldn't of found a more miserable person than me." (Location 1062)
"I think it's very important for people to know if they're a writer or not." (Location 1392)
Well, Max Shulman is quite the writer and Dobie Gillis is quite the creation. Enjoy!
Thanks for reading.
May 12, 2018
Dobie Gillis' opinions on and experiences with girls and women from his boyhood to his manhood. Will he ever find the right one? Or just have fun searching?
"Pa used to be a boy so he knows how things are with me. As for my knowing how things are with him, I'd frankly rather not." (Location 292)
"Well, he's not smiling now. Last I heard, he was drinking himself to death in Honduras or Tahiti or someplace that doesn't have an extradition treaty with the U.S." (Discussing the architect of the house next door at Location 325)
"If I live to be one hundred--which is doubtful because I don't think I'm going to make fifteen" ("Been there!"-moment at Location 426)
"I made every mistake in the book, as you can see from having read thus far in this one." (Location 854)
"I'm not trying to tell you I'm a Greek god or like that. I mean who ever heard of a Greek god my height?" (Location 948)
"Well, I'm here to tell you that except maybe in famine areas and like that, you couldn't of found a more miserable person than me." (Location 1053)
"I think it's very important for people to know if they're a writer or not." (Location 1381)
Well, Max Shulman, you certainly are a writer, and thank you so much for creating Dobie Gillis!
And thank you for reading this. Blessings, people!
"Pa used to be a boy so he knows how things are with me. As for my knowing how things are with him, I'd frankly rather not." (Location 292)
"Well, he's not smiling now. Last I heard, he was drinking himself to death in Honduras or Tahiti or someplace that doesn't have an extradition treaty with the U.S." (Discussing the architect of the house next door at Location 325)
"If I live to be one hundred--which is doubtful because I don't think I'm going to make fifteen" ("Been there!"-moment at Location 426)
"I made every mistake in the book, as you can see from having read thus far in this one." (Location 854)
"I'm not trying to tell you I'm a Greek god or like that. I mean who ever heard of a Greek god my height?" (Location 948)
"Well, I'm here to tell you that except maybe in famine areas and like that, you couldn't of found a more miserable person than me." (Location 1053)
"I think it's very important for people to know if they're a writer or not." (Location 1381)
Well, Max Shulman, you certainly are a writer, and thank you so much for creating Dobie Gillis!
And thank you for reading this. Blessings, people!
March 29, 2019
The language is a bit dated, but the humor is timeless, and the relationships portrayed are still honest, heartfelt, and real.
June 5, 2018
Much better than THE MANY LOVES OF DOBIE GILLIS. In that book Dobie was an inconsistent character changing looks, age, parents, majors, in each story. Here we get one character progressing through life from 13 to 30. All of the stories are amusing. Plus we get some dry and understated humor that is actually funny -- as opposed to the label of "dry" and "understated" often used as a coded way of saying a book isn't funny at all. It's all situational, no action to speak of, and not a profanity to be found. Wonderfully refreshing all around.
February 10, 2017
After reading The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis by Schulman I picked up this set of Dobie stories. We hear Dobie review his entire love life starting at age 13 and ending at age 30.
If you watched the television program based on his stories, or have read any Dobie stories, you know what you will find in this collection. Dobie recounts his love of the ladies, his idealizing of beauty and willingness to submit to any demand for love. Yes, this is pre-feminism humor, with looks trumping intelligence. It is also typical adolescent behavior
It's Schulman's writing and humor that keep me reading. An ongoing gag In this book is how Dobie lives next to a house with a flat roof, making it a favorite hangout for gulls wanting to open up shells. The noise and mess drives family after family away. Each family has another lovely girl for Dobie to fall for.
The last story is 30 year old Dobie struggling to balance love of family and the drive for a 'nest egg'. As in the last story in The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis, Schulman gets serious and offers a very good piece of advice.
I love ending my day with a humorous short story. And the foibles of adolescence make a great subject.
Max Schulman (1919-1988) was born in Minnesota and started writing at age four. He attended the University of Minnesota where he edited and wrote for the humor magazine--just like Dobie. During his time in service during World War II he wrote two books. His play The Tender Trap and his novel Rally Round the Flag, Boys! were adapted into films. The Dobie Gillis stories were first published in magazines including Cosmopolitan, Good Housekeeping and The Saturday Evening Post.
“Shulman is a brilliant satirist. His extraordinary word choice is the core of his humor. Often the bitter core.” —Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
If you watched the television program based on his stories, or have read any Dobie stories, you know what you will find in this collection. Dobie recounts his love of the ladies, his idealizing of beauty and willingness to submit to any demand for love. Yes, this is pre-feminism humor, with looks trumping intelligence. It is also typical adolescent behavior
It's Schulman's writing and humor that keep me reading. An ongoing gag In this book is how Dobie lives next to a house with a flat roof, making it a favorite hangout for gulls wanting to open up shells. The noise and mess drives family after family away. Each family has another lovely girl for Dobie to fall for.
The last story is 30 year old Dobie struggling to balance love of family and the drive for a 'nest egg'. As in the last story in The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis, Schulman gets serious and offers a very good piece of advice.
I love ending my day with a humorous short story. And the foibles of adolescence make a great subject.
Max Schulman (1919-1988) was born in Minnesota and started writing at age four. He attended the University of Minnesota where he edited and wrote for the humor magazine--just like Dobie. During his time in service during World War II he wrote two books. His play The Tender Trap and his novel Rally Round the Flag, Boys! were adapted into films. The Dobie Gillis stories were first published in magazines including Cosmopolitan, Good Housekeeping and The Saturday Evening Post.
“Shulman is a brilliant satirist. His extraordinary word choice is the core of his humor. Often the bitter core.” —Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
May 17, 2008
It has been so long since I first read this book and it's mate. They are classics for me and I read them as a set almost every year or two. They are the literary equivalent of really good macaroni and cheese - comforting, favorful, and total pleasure.
July 16, 2008
Hilarious book about girl-obsessed boy.
November 18, 2009
Just as funny now as it was when I read it as a teenager in 1959! The wordplay and the situations are wonderful. The TV series on Dobie Gillis was nothing compared to this, the original.
June 8, 2012
FUNNY! VERY RARE BOOK!
June 23, 2019
Although I enjoyed the throwback style of humor in this book, I found the book as a whole to be too repetitive for me. I felt each chapter was basically the same story told a year later in Dobie's life.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 18, 2018
I read this in high school.
July 28, 2019
Dobie Gillis is NOT “literature.” But, if you are looking for something light and frivolous to give yourself a break, these are the perfect palate cleansers.
February 19, 2022
Cute, but I enjoyed the earlier Dobie Gillis stories much more, even with the lack of continuity.
October 15, 2020
This is even funnier than The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis. I'd highly recommend, esp. if you're down.
May 14, 2020
Funny in a 1950's kind of way. Another great writer from St Paul who attended the U of M.
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews