Our Numbered Days

by Neil Hilborn

In 2013, Neil Hilborn’s performance of his poem “OCD” went viral. To date, it has been watched over 10 million times. Our Numbered Days is Neil’s debut full-length poetry collection, containing 45 of Neil’s poems including “OCD”, “Joey”, “Future Tense”, “Liminality”, “Moving Day”, and many, many never-before-seen poems.

Genres: Poetry, Mental Health, Nonfiction, Mental Illness, Ebooks, Contemporary, Adult

72 pages, Paperback

First published April 1, 2015

About the author

Neil Hilborn is a College National Poetry Slam Champion, and a 2011 graduate with honors from Macalester College with a degree in Creative Writing. Neil was a member of the 2011 Macalester Poetry Slam team, which ranked first in the nation. He co-coached the 2012 Macalester team, leading them to a second place finish nationally. He was also a member of the Minneapolis adult National Poetry Slam team in 2011, which placed 5th out of 80 teams from cities across the country at the adult National Poetry Slam. In August of 2013, his poem "OCD" went viral, garnering over 7 million views to date, making it one of the most-viewed poems on YouTube.

Reviews

[Ryan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is almost beyond explaining in simple language.

When I first heard OCD, I didn't realize how much of an impact that a short YouTube video would end up having on my life.

When I met Neil Hilborn in May 2014, I did not expect to be trying to become a poet myself in July 2015. His advice "keep writing, and start performing. It's gonna be total shit the first few times, but it gets better. And that's the only way to get better" set me on a path that has shaped me and how I try to look at the world.

I started performing, and immediately bought this book when it went on sale. I have not been disappointed for a moment since. He speaks with a truth, a pain, and a humor that sticks to you like wax, and only after letting the oil in your heart burn can you peel some of his words away from your skin. Our Numbered Days is unpretentious and brilliantly real. If you don't feel something after reading it, I'm not sure you had the ability to feel in the first place.

Favorite Poems: Ballad of the Bruised Lung, Bystander Paralysis, Chitin, Our Numbered Days #4 #7, OCD, Liminality

8/6/19: I've revisited this old friend, and had to fight off silverfish to read it. They liked the taste of the book, and i like how the words taste on my tongue. Neil has a magical talent that i will always welcome in my life so long as I'm unhappy, which is to say so long as I'm alive.

[Whitney Atkinson · Rating 3 out of 5]

I didn't hate this, but it's one of those things that I'm already familiar with his most popular piece of work, and that piece by itself outshined everything else in this collection. So basically, if you've read/seen his poem "OCD," you've basically already experienced his best work. Nothing about this was particularly amazing, but I did enjoy his writing style more than other poets I've read. I just really couldn't relate to it, and nothing really stuck with me.

[Neil Franz · Rating 4 out of 5]

"but I hear the world is ending soon. When we go, and we’re all going to go, I will be part of it."

[ink · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

"I am concerned
that if I begin taking
medication I will no longer
be able to write poems."

I felt like all the poems were written by anxiety or depression or bipolar disorders and Neil rarely made an appearance behind all those "mental disorders that I (he) call friends, and the mental disorders"*.

*an excerpt of Fabric Swatches, Paint Samples.

I fell in love with some poems like "You Can Look" and "Joey" and "OCD" which were sooooOo good. I didn't really understand some of the other poems, and I should probably read this book again.

[India · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought these poems were beautiful, for the most part. Some of them I didn't totally understand, but most of them I related to a lot, being a person who has also struggled with depression for a long time. I'm glad this was recommended to me and I would recommend it as well.

Favorite poem: Joey. I cried when I read it. It broke my heart.

[meg · Rating 5 out of 5]

Though you chose to die five years ago, Alex, I still write your name on chalkboards and stray sheets of paper. I always leave out the E. I am not finished with you yet.

[Nicole · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was really looking forward to this because I love his poem OCD, but unfortunately this fell really short. Some slam poets cannot work written out and I think Neil is one of them. The casual language just felt childish and amateurish when reading it on a page. There were also very harmful viewpoints on relationships, women, and masculinity in here. It all just felt very recycled, the “poem” that went “I am concerned that if I take medication I will no longer be able to write poems” was the dumbest thing I have ever read. That’s not a poem. That’s simply a thought that literally every creative type with mental health issues has thought. Like I legit wrote that in my teenage diary. Sorry not sorry, I got some feelings about this.

[Beatrice · Rating 3 out of 5]

Our Numbered Days is a slam poetry collection about mental illness. My top three poems are OCD, Joey and The Sadness Factory. It's a short book and the poems are powerful and achingly beautiful. The line that struck me the most was from Not Dead;

"I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, but maybe you should listen to your feet when they tell you to run the fuck away."

Each piece is told straightforwardly but some of them felt disjointed. It's still a good collection though.

[Gerhard · Rating 4 out of 5]

'I am not saying you will find the meaning of life
in other people. I am saying that other people
are the life to which you provide the meaning.'

Review to follow.

[Sara Dahaabović · Rating 3 out of 5]

All of those three stars because of the OCD poem, because it's the absolute best in the book!

I also enjoyed: "Future Tense", "Things that I Hope Are True about Heaven", "Still Life with Pills", "Clatter" and "Here and Away" the rest was just okay...

[India M. Clamp · Rating 4 out of 5]

In some relations, poems breathe life into lungs that have long gone black. The owner of such I called a friend. Sending prayers and wishes for a recovery that is beyond hope. I express my thanks in the world of the living for knowing, interacting and being a friend. Got the photo and media request.

"Things happen in life that your cape caused us to ignore. A hand that designed large structures with a pencil, also held a cigarette. You guarded it like your beautiful wife and many children. I will place the visuals, voice and interactions into the quiet, safe place where you achieve immortality."
---India M. Clamp

Neil Hilborn (Amazon bestseller) expounds eloquently on the themes of love, heartbreak and mental illness. His mellifluous presentation does not imitate a chocolate bar or one that serves alcohol. These poems are unto a warm, fluffy hug of a relative in faux fur on a day cold enough to snow. Comfort may be found in the self-deprecating style of Hilborn.

[Dr. Rida · Rating 5 out of 5]

Last month I was just feeling poetry. Like I wanted to write poetry (even though I can't write shit); I wanted to read poetry; and I wanted to watch spoken poetry. And I ended up reading 3 poetry collections. I loved two of them. This is one of the two that I loved.

I picked up this book knowing that I'll love it because I've seen Neil Hilborn perform OCD. I'm super glad it did not disappoint.

I feel like poets are the real magicians. It's like they take words; words that we know and arrange them in a beautiful way that it hits you and makes you feel connected. There is no word besides magical to describe this.

It made me feel lonely. And for that; Thank You!

My absolute favorite piece from this collection: Here and Away.



________________________

Wow so much of it was relatable. RTC

[Nanna · Rating 5 out of 5]

His viral poetry slam video 'OCD' is amazing. This poem collection is, too. Weird and raw and beautiful.

"It is impossible to imagine a color you have not seen. Instead of dying, the jellyfish simply ceases to move. I complete five crosswords a day because it stops the panic. Trucks are downshifting on Main Street. Hair is partially composed of cyanide. Napalm is just gasoline and plastic. I am just carbon and bad timing."

Edit: The quoted poem is called 'CLATTER' - and you can find an even longer and more hauntingly beautiful version of it on YouTube, performed by Neil Hilborn himself.

[mentalexotica · Rating 5 out of 5]

Neil Hilborn is best known for his slam poem, OCD, but he's no one trick pony. This anthology includes some of the most wonderful free verse I have come across. Right up there with the likes of Yrsa Daly-Ward's Bone and Nayyirah Waheed's Salt, Our Numbered Days is a volume of integrity and vulnerability. Fresh, firm, and lucid, the poems are stripped bare of superficiality and served up instead, is a mean meal of honest, pithy writing.

You will come looking for a gift of words and find yourself a lexicon of the emotional Self. Utterly satisfying, belly-full with goodness. This book is nourishment.

[Sam Lien · Rating 5 out of 5]

Depression wasn't
and endless grey sky, it was no sky
at all.

It's absolutely beautiful.

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would give it so many more stars if I could. I was so lucky to see Neil perform his work live. It was incredible. His work just inflicts every emotion possible, absolutely amazing.

[Olivera · Rating 2 out of 5]

I've been a fan of Neil Hilborn for a while now and once I saw that he had a published potry collection I couldn't wait to get my hands on it.

Neil is a wonderful slam poet. He has extremely powerful work and in the past few years he managed to move me with it in many ways. That being said, I don't think this collection reflects his talent at all. Some of my favorite pieces, and what I'd like to call his best work, weren't in here. The poems that were here, tho, were a bit nonsensical and not hard hitting or poetic enough for my taste.

Having read this, I do think his poetry works much better when you hear it spoken out loud and from now on I suppose that will be my medium of taking his stuff in.

The two poems from here I really liked were Future Tense and OCD and I would highly recommend you to chekc them out.

[Rana Najjar · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5/5
overall it was an okay book. I liked some parts. th poems "liminality" and "OCD" are my favourites . many poems i got confused by or I did not understand and that is mostly my fault because I read the book when I was feeling really tired.

[Yasmine · Rating 4 out of 5]

this was absolutely beautiful!
so truthful and heartfelt...this guy is so creative

[Maria · Rating 5 out of 5]

There's so much pain in these few pages. Neil Hilborn for life!

[Jonathan Tennis · Rating 1 out of 5]

1 star is the lowest star rating available on goodreads.

Neil Hilborn and Rupi Kaur are in that category of poets youtube, instagram and the rest of social media have created. Sure, they're popular and that popularity has translated into some success. But to say you're going 'on tour' when asked to speak at high schools and colleges because 16-22 years old in America can't name another living poet doesn't mean that you're successful on the page.

This collection begins with a poem titled "Our Numbered Days" where the poet quotes himself in between Andrew Jackson, Wikipedia, St. Catherine of Siena and Frida Kahlo. He does so on numerous iterations of the poem by the same name, substituting the aforementioned for people I didn't feel like googling when I did not recognize their name immediately.

Hilborn mentions pretentiousness in the second poem and I can't quite shake the feeling that he was talking about himself.

Give this as a gift to people who know nothing of modern poetry and they will love it because poets like this are why people hate poets.

As remarkably flat this collection was to me, there were still a few worthy highlights worth mentioning below:

"Pretension / can look like intelligence if you squint / hard enough or wear glasses." - p. 5 (MSP PHI LGA ALB PHI MSP)

"And when your fourth love leaves you, / you will want to kill yourself but / you won't. / You no longer think of suicide / as a house you will build one day. .... Because of her. Because she asked for this. / Because she filled something in you that's still full, even though / she's gone." - p. 18 (Future Tense)

"This is what it's like to try to fall / asleep in a life raft. This is what it's like / to say goodnight and mean goodbye." - p. 33-34 (You Can Look)

"The first time I saw her, everything / in my head went quiet. All the tics, / all the constantly refreshing images, / just disappeared. When you have / Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, / you don't really get quiet moments. / Even in bed I'm thinking / did I lock the door yes / did I wash my hands yes / did I lock the door yes / did I wash my hands yes." - p. 38 (OCD)

[Liz Janet · Rating 3 out of 5]

I too was introduced to him via OCD (that poem can begin all happy and then your heart is broken,) and I was unaware, of the impact such a poem would have on me for the time to come.
This is one of those other books, also published by Button Poetry, that has encouraged me to continue writing, no matter what. So I guess I have to thank this author, and many other slam poets for my confidence for writing poems.

Main poems I loved, performed by him: his other poems can be found at Button Poetry
Future Tense
Joey

[Susan Arnold · Rating 4 out of 5]

I did not know when I first started reading the Neil Hilborn is the author of OCD (one of my favorite slam poems ever!) and was so happy when I found out in the middle of the book. Some of the poems are a bit much for me, but I'm always trying to broaden my reading horizons. I'd have to say that my favorite poem was the last one in the book, but you'll have to read it yourself to find out what it is.

[Freya Wilkinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

"I will lie here forever and sing you all the things I stopped myself from saying when we were alive."

I'm speechless. I'm falling in love with poetry. Some of the poems in Our Numbered Days are bizarre I will admit. However, they are all raw and beautiful. The 5 stars are for the few that moved me enough to make me cry.

[Ju$tin · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5

[Ainslee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Brilliant poetry, butI do prefer watching him perform it as opposed to just me reading it. Neil is a fantastic performer and it really makes a difference.

[M. · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wanted to finish a book by the end of this week and it felt like a good moment to finish this one. I have been reading a poem at a time since 2015 and, as it happened when I read The future, I do think I'm a bit separated from the themes and the harshness of some of the poems now, but this collection has meant so much to me in the past that I wouldn't dream of giving it a bad review. I was greatly surprised when my favourite poem from Neil Hilborn was in here with a different title than what I knew it by. I have this book signed, me and my best friend loved it so much when we were 15 and it will always have a fond place in my heart.

[Callum McLaughlin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Like many, I discovered Hilborn through a viral performance of his poem, OCD. As someone with the condition myself, it struck a chord, and I knew I wanted to check out more of his work.

There were some poems in here that really spoke to me, and others that didn't, but that's always the way with a collection as personal as this.

There's a bold and immediate feel to Hilborn's poetic voice. There's rage and there's passion and there's humour charging every word, and you can definitely tell that his work is written to be read aloud, which I recommend. He's a poet of obvious talent, and I'll be keeping an eye out for what else he does.

[Caro · Rating 4 out of 5]

You will never be more wrong than the first time
you say “I love you”. You will
mean it, sure, but you’ll still be lying.

4,5*
Really, really enjoyed this. OCD is still my favorite poem. I'll link the author reciting it if you'd like to watch it (spoiler alert - I cry every time I do):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnKZ4...

[Malene · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ser man bort fra "OCD", så aner jeg ikke, hvad jeg lige har læst. En bog, vistnok...