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Tying the Knot: A Premarital Guide to a Strong and Lasting Marriage
Every engaged couple hopes to build a strong and satisfying marriage, but it doesn’t happen automatically. This interactive, nine-session premarital study guides couples through key issues like conflict, expectations, finances, and intimacy, showing how each can be navigated only with Christ at the center of the marriage. Realistic and hopeful, Tying the Knot will position a new generation of newlyweds to build their marriage on the lasting foundation of God’s grace. Includes an appendix for mentors and corresponding questions and exercises for each chapter.
178 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 6, 2016
251 people are currently reading
480 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 116 reviews
March 28, 2025
Such a good book to read and walk through before marriage! It is so grounded in Christ as the foundation for everything.
Some weird questions at the end of chapters are the only downside.
Some weird questions at the end of chapters are the only downside.
March 14, 2016
A complete guide to premarital counseling with Christ at the center!
Before anyone asks, no I'm not getting married. As silly as this will sound, I didn't realize this was a premarital counseling book. (Um yes, hello Emilie can you read?) I realize now it says that right on the cover but you guys know me and the fact I hardly ever read the back of books before I decide read them. And hey - I look at reading things like this as information for the future and extremely helpful to think through. I also find it helpful in my own personal walk with Christ and as a type of research for characters too. So, all around a bonus!
With that said, I really enjoyed this book. I feel like Rob did a great job of outlining each chapter and making it understandable for couples. He touched on super important topics like finances, conflict, church community, and many other things. The best part, in my opinion, is how Jesus-central it was! I felt like he did a great job keeping everything solidly rooted in scripture.
Rob also included really helpful questions at the end of each chapter that would help each person dig down deep. The examples he includes of he and his wife as well as couples he has counseled were also very helpful. He includes a section for mentors at the back too, so that's really great, especially if you're new to being a premarital counselor.
All around, if you are a counselor, looking to be a mentor for premarital counseling, or interested in premarital counseling for you and your significant other, this is definitely the book for you. You can rest assured the advice will be sound, the conversation stimulating, and the guidance always toward the Lord and His plan for marriage.
My rating: 5*
Originally posted on my blog: http://eahendryx.blogspot.com/2016/03...
_______
I received a free copy of this book for review purposes, but was under no obligation to read the book or post a review. I do so under my own motivation and the opinions I have expressed in this review are honest and entirely my own.
Before anyone asks, no I'm not getting married. As silly as this will sound, I didn't realize this was a premarital counseling book. (Um yes, hello Emilie can you read?) I realize now it says that right on the cover but you guys know me and the fact I hardly ever read the back of books before I decide read them. And hey - I look at reading things like this as information for the future and extremely helpful to think through. I also find it helpful in my own personal walk with Christ and as a type of research for characters too. So, all around a bonus!
With that said, I really enjoyed this book. I feel like Rob did a great job of outlining each chapter and making it understandable for couples. He touched on super important topics like finances, conflict, church community, and many other things. The best part, in my opinion, is how Jesus-central it was! I felt like he did a great job keeping everything solidly rooted in scripture.
Rob also included really helpful questions at the end of each chapter that would help each person dig down deep. The examples he includes of he and his wife as well as couples he has counseled were also very helpful. He includes a section for mentors at the back too, so that's really great, especially if you're new to being a premarital counselor.
All around, if you are a counselor, looking to be a mentor for premarital counseling, or interested in premarital counseling for you and your significant other, this is definitely the book for you. You can rest assured the advice will be sound, the conversation stimulating, and the guidance always toward the Lord and His plan for marriage.
My rating: 5*
Originally posted on my blog: http://eahendryx.blogspot.com/2016/03...
_______
I received a free copy of this book for review purposes, but was under no obligation to read the book or post a review. I do so under my own motivation and the opinions I have expressed in this review are honest and entirely my own.
August 18, 2024
Great book! Now I know everything I need to about marriage. I am looking forward to my inevitably conflict-free and easy marriage.
September 28, 2020
Read this book for pre-marital counseling. It has some good aspects and points for problem solving and communication, but other parts as far as roles and expectations, being loving, being a part of a church, etc. were pretty shallow and presented no new information. They also did not provide good reasoning behind why they stated things that they claimed. In a nutshell, very basic and although has some good points, nothing super deep or special about this book.
May 1, 2024
I really enjoyed this book and will use it in loving Kade well. However, some of the topics seemed glazed over and I would have loved more details instead of a summary. I realize marriage will look different for all, and I enjoyed just knowing the easy ways to put Kade first instead of myself.
November 30, 2023
Solid, practical, and most importantly gospel centered
February 8, 2024
Finishing this book is exciting because we’re getting married soon! No but actually could not recommend this book more to engaged couples. Truly learned so much!
May 22, 2025
Really great resource. We read this with a couple we are doing pre-marital counseling for, but honestly it would be good for couples in any stage of their marriage! Good reminders and check points.
July 11, 2025
Very American-centric but helpful to discuss important topics
September 13, 2017
Currently my favorite pre-marital counseling book. It's succinct, gospel-centered in that it focuses on the centrality of Christ in the Christian life and the heart-level nature of sin, and it lends itself to great discussion. Because it is brief, I don't think it stands alone, as it might be helpful to include additional material on some subjects (depending on the situation/couple). But overall, I recommend it.
October 27, 2021
This is a biblical, concise, hopeful, honest and Christ-centered resource for pre-marital counseling. Each chapter ends with very helpful questions for couples to work through. Various resources that go into more depth are also mentioned. Though the book does not cover every possible topic in preparing for marriage, it will naturally bring up additional conversations that need to be covered.
Introduction:
He warns against two extremes. First, the belief that marriage has to be hard and difficult, with an inevitably miserable transition period. Second, the belief that marriage will be wonderful without any effort.
"A more biblical approach is to recognize that God has given marriage to enjoy, He created it for our pleasure, and he created it to give us a glimpse of his covenant love for us. But marriage also takes a commitment--a commitment to sacrifice for the benefit of someone else for the glory of God" (3)
He helpfully directs the couple to come to the first session with four pieces of information. 1) Parental support 2) Physical standards of conduct 3) Testimonies of conversion to Christ. 4) Two paragraphs on why you want to marry your fiancée.
Chapter 1: Jesus must Be the Center of your life
This is a challenge based on Matthew 22:37-40.
"If you treat your church, your pastors, or your friends as if you are the center of the universe, this will feed your selfishness, a selfishness that will be unleashed on your spouse (and others) in the days and weeks to come" 10).
There are certain motivations to love the Lord with all your heart.
1. Jesus died for you.
2. Jesus gave you a new identity.
3. Jesus provides all the spiritual resources you need to love, serve, and give.
"What happens if you really don't believe that the Lord is providing all the necessary resources? I
suggest that you would demand love from your spouse" (15).
"In my own life and in counseling, I have noticed that the love we demand from others is not
satisfying. It demands more and more and more." (15)
4. Jesus is your spouse's only hero
Loving the Lord first is central to a marriage that accurately represents Christ and the church
1. Marital happiness or marital struggle often can be summarized in the word "worship."
2. When you love Jesus, you will be most prepared to love your spouse.
3. To be a Christian spouse, you must first be a faithful Christian.
The author notes that there is an interesting progression in Ephesians 4-6 from each believer
growing in Christlikeness, to marriage, to parenting (20).
Chapter 2: Love with Jesus as the center
The world's love is about a warm, fuzzy feeling, physical attraction, or having fun together. But what about the Bible's explanation of love? The rest of the chapter walks through 1 Corinthians 13:4-6.
I thought this quote was gold: "Dating is easy compared to marriage. In dating, you can always go home, skip a day, and prepare to put your best foot forward next time. No such opportunity in marriage! Marriage puts people together at their best and at their worst" (37-38).
Chapter 3: Problem Solving with Jesus as the Center
We are prone to accept various lies when it comes to relationships. First, we won't have any problems, so why worry about this topic? Second, it's easier to ignore problems than it is to solve them. Third, it is easier to wait until problems are big before you worry about them.
So what principles do we need to apply to problem solving with Jesus as the center?
1. You must take responsibility for your part of the problem.
2. You must repent for your part of the problem.
3. You must forgive one another
4. You must move forward
Chapter 4: Roles and Expectations with Jesus as the Center
This is a faithful chapter that directs attention to the necessary passages. However, a weakness would be that the author does not turn to Titus 2 and deal with the Lord's design for a wife to be focused on the home.
Husbands are to be lovers, learners, and leaders. Wives are to follow, be a companion, and respect.
Chapter 5: Communication with Jesus as the Center
Communication comes from the heart. It begins with what you want and expresses what you want. That is why communication techniques are not the answer. Heart transformation is. A practical example is given to put these dynamics on display.
Four communication principles are covered.
1. Be honest: in all the details, in your body language, in your proportions (no exaggeration), and in the use of the words "never" and "always."
2. Solve problems quickly
3. Be encouraging instead of attacking
4. Act, don't react
Chapter 6: Finances with Jesus as the center
Couples are directed to put things down on paper and discuss.
"Christ-centered money management is about using the resources God has loaned you to have the most impact for the cause of Christ (95).
Application:
1. You are not an owner, you are a steward
2. You must guard your heat against greed. Make every effort to avoid the seduction of greed. Remember that riches are not the sum total of life.
3. Contentment is critical because it communicates that you value God's presence.
4. You must exercise wisdom to become biblical planners.
5. Be generous and sacrificial in your giving
Some practical suggestions are given. I assume that he has a good reason to mention prenuptial agreements on page 157 in the appendix. But because he doesn't warn about all the wrong reasons for one I am left wondering. He says it in the context of this statement: "I encourage you to spend more time on this subject if one or both parties bring significant resources or significant debts into the marriage."
Chapter 7: Community with Jesus as the center
This is not a detailed chapter, but it opens up good conversation about how important the church is in a godly marriage.
1. To encourage you to love and serve.
2. To equip you to mature in the Christian faith
3. To provide others to care for you
Chapter 8: Intimacy with Jesus as the center
God created sex for procreation and meaningful relationship (I found it odd that he did not mention the issue of expectations for the size of the family going into marriage).
God created sex to be enjoyed within a monogamous marriage; all other forms are wrong. (This section helpfully brings up deviations that need to be addressed).
God designed sex for mutual benefit, with a focus on pleasing one's spouse. (there is great wisdom in this section, including the fact that couples should know that in a healthy marriage, the journey of sexual enjoyment within marriage eclipses the honeymoon experience. He also helpfully emphasizes that the focus of sex is on relationship, not performance).
The appendix walks mentors through each chapter emphasizing various truths.
The book is not exhaustive, but yet it is comprehensive. The only exceptions that I recall would be on the wife's priority on the home, addressing divorce and how a couple ought to think about this or every even mention it, and communicating about expectations and motivations for size of family.
There is much to commend in this book. I will be using it. It seems most suited for a pre-marital counseling situation where further depth and conversation will take place based off of interaction and homework.
Introduction:
He warns against two extremes. First, the belief that marriage has to be hard and difficult, with an inevitably miserable transition period. Second, the belief that marriage will be wonderful without any effort.
"A more biblical approach is to recognize that God has given marriage to enjoy, He created it for our pleasure, and he created it to give us a glimpse of his covenant love for us. But marriage also takes a commitment--a commitment to sacrifice for the benefit of someone else for the glory of God" (3)
He helpfully directs the couple to come to the first session with four pieces of information. 1) Parental support 2) Physical standards of conduct 3) Testimonies of conversion to Christ. 4) Two paragraphs on why you want to marry your fiancée.
Chapter 1: Jesus must Be the Center of your life
This is a challenge based on Matthew 22:37-40.
"If you treat your church, your pastors, or your friends as if you are the center of the universe, this will feed your selfishness, a selfishness that will be unleashed on your spouse (and others) in the days and weeks to come" 10).
There are certain motivations to love the Lord with all your heart.
1. Jesus died for you.
2. Jesus gave you a new identity.
3. Jesus provides all the spiritual resources you need to love, serve, and give.
"What happens if you really don't believe that the Lord is providing all the necessary resources? I
suggest that you would demand love from your spouse" (15).
"In my own life and in counseling, I have noticed that the love we demand from others is not
satisfying. It demands more and more and more." (15)
4. Jesus is your spouse's only hero
Loving the Lord first is central to a marriage that accurately represents Christ and the church
1. Marital happiness or marital struggle often can be summarized in the word "worship."
2. When you love Jesus, you will be most prepared to love your spouse.
3. To be a Christian spouse, you must first be a faithful Christian.
The author notes that there is an interesting progression in Ephesians 4-6 from each believer
growing in Christlikeness, to marriage, to parenting (20).
Chapter 2: Love with Jesus as the center
The world's love is about a warm, fuzzy feeling, physical attraction, or having fun together. But what about the Bible's explanation of love? The rest of the chapter walks through 1 Corinthians 13:4-6.
I thought this quote was gold: "Dating is easy compared to marriage. In dating, you can always go home, skip a day, and prepare to put your best foot forward next time. No such opportunity in marriage! Marriage puts people together at their best and at their worst" (37-38).
Chapter 3: Problem Solving with Jesus as the Center
We are prone to accept various lies when it comes to relationships. First, we won't have any problems, so why worry about this topic? Second, it's easier to ignore problems than it is to solve them. Third, it is easier to wait until problems are big before you worry about them.
So what principles do we need to apply to problem solving with Jesus as the center?
1. You must take responsibility for your part of the problem.
2. You must repent for your part of the problem.
3. You must forgive one another
4. You must move forward
Chapter 4: Roles and Expectations with Jesus as the Center
This is a faithful chapter that directs attention to the necessary passages. However, a weakness would be that the author does not turn to Titus 2 and deal with the Lord's design for a wife to be focused on the home.
Husbands are to be lovers, learners, and leaders. Wives are to follow, be a companion, and respect.
Chapter 5: Communication with Jesus as the Center
Communication comes from the heart. It begins with what you want and expresses what you want. That is why communication techniques are not the answer. Heart transformation is. A practical example is given to put these dynamics on display.
Four communication principles are covered.
1. Be honest: in all the details, in your body language, in your proportions (no exaggeration), and in the use of the words "never" and "always."
2. Solve problems quickly
3. Be encouraging instead of attacking
4. Act, don't react
Chapter 6: Finances with Jesus as the center
Couples are directed to put things down on paper and discuss.
"Christ-centered money management is about using the resources God has loaned you to have the most impact for the cause of Christ (95).
Application:
1. You are not an owner, you are a steward
2. You must guard your heat against greed. Make every effort to avoid the seduction of greed. Remember that riches are not the sum total of life.
3. Contentment is critical because it communicates that you value God's presence.
4. You must exercise wisdom to become biblical planners.
5. Be generous and sacrificial in your giving
Some practical suggestions are given. I assume that he has a good reason to mention prenuptial agreements on page 157 in the appendix. But because he doesn't warn about all the wrong reasons for one I am left wondering. He says it in the context of this statement: "I encourage you to spend more time on this subject if one or both parties bring significant resources or significant debts into the marriage."
Chapter 7: Community with Jesus as the center
This is not a detailed chapter, but it opens up good conversation about how important the church is in a godly marriage.
1. To encourage you to love and serve.
2. To equip you to mature in the Christian faith
3. To provide others to care for you
Chapter 8: Intimacy with Jesus as the center
God created sex for procreation and meaningful relationship (I found it odd that he did not mention the issue of expectations for the size of the family going into marriage).
God created sex to be enjoyed within a monogamous marriage; all other forms are wrong. (This section helpfully brings up deviations that need to be addressed).
God designed sex for mutual benefit, with a focus on pleasing one's spouse. (there is great wisdom in this section, including the fact that couples should know that in a healthy marriage, the journey of sexual enjoyment within marriage eclipses the honeymoon experience. He also helpfully emphasizes that the focus of sex is on relationship, not performance).
The appendix walks mentors through each chapter emphasizing various truths.
The book is not exhaustive, but yet it is comprehensive. The only exceptions that I recall would be on the wife's priority on the home, addressing divorce and how a couple ought to think about this or every even mention it, and communicating about expectations and motivations for size of family.
There is much to commend in this book. I will be using it. It seems most suited for a pre-marital counseling situation where further depth and conversation will take place based off of interaction and homework.
February 8, 2021
I appreciated Rob’s format. Solid biblical content around issues and topics that need to be thought through prior to marriage. There are good discussion questions designed to get couples talking through the content prior to the counseling session.
I still love When Sinners Say I Do by Dave Harvey as my go to book for marriage help / counseling, but this is a better fit for engaged couples and is a good springboard for pre-marital counseling.
I still love When Sinners Say I Do by Dave Harvey as my go to book for marriage help / counseling, but this is a better fit for engaged couples and is a good springboard for pre-marital counseling.
March 13, 2025
A great book for pre-marital counseling. It focuses on keeping Jesus at the center of your marriage in all things. While a lot more could be said, Green was able to major on the majors covering topics like love, problem solving, roles and expectations, communication, finances, church membership, and sex. All vital aspects for couples to think through biblically as they look forward to spending a lifetime together.
May 30, 2023
This now my go-to resource for pre marital counseling for a few reasons. 1. It’s is so Gospel-centered. 2. It roots practical matters in Jesus. And yet remains very practical. 3. It is concise and all reading levels can read it easily.
I like to pair it up with a chapter or two from Keller’s Meaning of Marriage.
*a few of the discussion questions I cross out, but most of the questions are very helpful.
I like to pair it up with a chapter or two from Keller’s Meaning of Marriage.
*a few of the discussion questions I cross out, but most of the questions are very helpful.
June 1, 2025
Our pastor who is officiating our wedding had us read this book as we go through pre-marital and I couldn’t recommend it enough for Christian couples. Obviously it’s meant for marriages that are about to begin, but I can already tell that this will be one that we come back to throughout our marriage. The questions at the end of each chapter were raw and honest, but deeply appreciated.
October 4, 2022
My third time reading through this.
This is what I use for Premarital Counseling. I find it to be good because (1) it continually talks about the importance of keeping Christ at the center of the marriage and (2) it strikes a good balance between "too much homework" and "not enough."
This is what I use for Premarital Counseling. I find it to be good because (1) it continually talks about the importance of keeping Christ at the center of the marriage and (2) it strikes a good balance between "too much homework" and "not enough."
March 27, 2023
A good resource for couples entering into marriage (and refresher for married couples). A little simplistic on the topics throughout, but overall good content and the overarching theme of keeping Christ at the center of each topic was spot on.
September 26, 2024
Hunter and I read this for premarital counseling, and I highly recommend! Concise, practical, but still full of Christ-centered truth that I am glad we got to intake and discuss before getting married. Also made us answer questions we wouldn’t have asked each other or thought of.
May 22, 2024
Very good and helpful. Highly recommend for any engaged couples.
Biggest takeaway: Jesus should be the center of every area of my life and future marriage.
Biggest takeaway: Jesus should be the center of every area of my life and future marriage.
December 5, 2025
Excellent. Honestly, even though it’s written for premarital counseling, I’d use it for marriage counseling as well.
October 13, 2023
Great book. Highly recommend to all couples during engagement.
This book is designed to be read with questions at the end of each chapter that y’all discuss as a couple, and then discuss your answers with a “mentor” walking through it with you.
This book is designed to be read with questions at the end of each chapter that y’all discuss as a couple, and then discuss your answers with a “mentor” walking through it with you.
May 7, 2025
Michael and I were guided through this for premarital counseling & loved it !
October 16, 2025
Read for premarital counseling. Jack and I both found it super helpful to prepare for a Christ-centered marriage together
February 20, 2016
“The great secret of a successful marriage is this: It is more about your love for Christ than it is about your compatibility as a couple” [143].
I’ve been waiting for a book like this for a long time. The modern-day biblically faithful church has gone a long way toward shedding the baggage of secular philosophies in its counseling ministry. Marriage counseling, and pre-marital counseling in particular, seems to be one of the remaining hold-outs. Personality profiles, tests, and such seem to occupy a greater place of importance than examining the basic commitments of the heart. Much of what is out there focuses on superficial issues, rarely penetrating all the way to the heart of what goes on between partners in a marriage.
This book finally breaks free. Rob Green has written a thoroughly Christ-centered premarital counseling book, investing the topic with the seriousness it deserves. The chapter titles demonstrate this:
Chapter 1: Jesus Must Be the Center of Your Life
Chapter 2: Love with Jesus as the Center
Chapter 3: Problem Solving with Jesus as the Center
Chapter 4: Roles and Expectations with Jesus as the Center
Chapter 5: Communication with Jesus as the Center
Chapter 6: Finances with Jesus as the Center
Chapter 7: Community with Jesus as the Center
Chapter 8: Intimacy with Jesus as the Center
Green does not merely tip his hat to the centrality of Christ. Each chapter fulfills the promise of developing the Christ-centered focus. Using the best of the insights of the biblical counseling movement, the author lays a solid foundation of teaching, unfolding principles that couples will be able to use for years afterwards.
The book concludes with a section for mentors that summarizes the principal points and trajectories intended in each chapter. It’s rare to find a book this good that is also so brief. I’ve finally found a pre-marital book that I’m satisfied with. This is a five-star book, and I recommend it highly.
I’ve been waiting for a book like this for a long time. The modern-day biblically faithful church has gone a long way toward shedding the baggage of secular philosophies in its counseling ministry. Marriage counseling, and pre-marital counseling in particular, seems to be one of the remaining hold-outs. Personality profiles, tests, and such seem to occupy a greater place of importance than examining the basic commitments of the heart. Much of what is out there focuses on superficial issues, rarely penetrating all the way to the heart of what goes on between partners in a marriage.
This book finally breaks free. Rob Green has written a thoroughly Christ-centered premarital counseling book, investing the topic with the seriousness it deserves. The chapter titles demonstrate this:
Chapter 1: Jesus Must Be the Center of Your Life
Chapter 2: Love with Jesus as the Center
Chapter 3: Problem Solving with Jesus as the Center
Chapter 4: Roles and Expectations with Jesus as the Center
Chapter 5: Communication with Jesus as the Center
Chapter 6: Finances with Jesus as the Center
Chapter 7: Community with Jesus as the Center
Chapter 8: Intimacy with Jesus as the Center
Green does not merely tip his hat to the centrality of Christ. Each chapter fulfills the promise of developing the Christ-centered focus. Using the best of the insights of the biblical counseling movement, the author lays a solid foundation of teaching, unfolding principles that couples will be able to use for years afterwards.
The book concludes with a section for mentors that summarizes the principal points and trajectories intended in each chapter. It’s rare to find a book this good that is also so brief. I’ve finally found a pre-marital book that I’m satisfied with. This is a five-star book, and I recommend it highly.
October 30, 2020
If I could give this 0 stars I would. Had to read this for my marriage counseling. It's garbage— many misreadings of bible passages out of context to reinscribe traditional marriage roles. If you're looking for a book to help your marriage, this ain't it fam. You'd be better off reading some Judith Butler and catching up to our current century's understanding of gender.
February 25, 2024
Still a preferred premarital text
I find this a Christ-centered, balanced, and practical resource for engaged couples to read as part of premarital counseling. The questions at the end of each chapter are helpful as well.
I find this a Christ-centered, balanced, and practical resource for engaged couples to read as part of premarital counseling. The questions at the end of each chapter are helpful as well.
August 27, 2016
A complete guide to premarital counseling with Christ at the center!
June 28, 2023
Read this in April, then again in June while going through pre-marital counseling. I found the book helpful for guiding important conversations about problem solving and communication.
June 27, 2024
Defeated the final boss of singleness: premarital counseling.
May 23, 2025
This book is 100% something that was made as a book to use for premarital counseling. You can still use it on your own, but I think that a counselor would be beneficial. I absolutely loved the assignments that are given because they are great things to discuss with your partner. I plan on talking about and applying the assignment to our lives and soon to be marriage.
This is a very preachy premarital book, it gives lots of examples from the bible. I would have loved for it to have given a bit more examples of actual couples, but I liked all the biblical references as well.
In my relationship we believe that God should always come first, this whole book shares that belief. If you do not feel that is the way that it should be, this book could be hard to read or maybe change your mind. It personally solidified the decision that we have already made as a couple.
Gather 4 things before you start:
1. Parental support (Ephesians 6: 2-3) .. it doesn’t always need to be your direct parents
2. Physical standards of conduct
3. Written testimony to Chris (he should be the center of your relationship)
4. Why do you want to marry your fiancé? – try for two paragraphs
Chapter 1
- Jesus must be the center of your life
- He gave you his son, he gave you all the spiritual resources that you need
- We need the love of God, the love of each other alone will not be enough
- His word is most important, and you can refer to it when you reach times of struggle
- “You are secure” you can’t be separated from the love of God
- Jesus is your spouse’s only hero, you don’t need to be your spouse’s savior
- If you want to have a Christian relationship, you need to have a strong relationship with God and be a faithful Christian individual
Assignment I would like to do: find 8 bible verses you would like to have and be able to refer to throughout your marriage and different parts of your life.
Chapter 2
- Whenever we serve, we must do so with a heart of love
- Love endures all things (hardships in the relationship)
Chapter 3
- Problem solving with Jesus as the center
- When there is a problem look to yourself and your partner
- Work out your issues with God and then your spouse
- Repentance will be key
- You must forgive one another
- How can Jesus biblically help me solve problems
Chapter 4
- Roles and Expectations
- This is more about Godly roles versus actual daily roles within the house
- It sets high expectations for husbands and wives
- Make sure you are following God first and that your significant other is not leading you down the wrong path
- Criticize in private
- Respect
- Focus on the blessing and not shortcoming, of which there will be many
Chapter 5
Communication with God in the middle
- What we want will affect how we communicate
- When struggling go to the Lord for you communication and seek help
- Be honest
- Do not let the son go down on your anger and bring opportunity to the develop
- Encourage instead of attack
Chapter 6
Finances with Jesus
- Beware of greed
- Can I afford it? Would the lord be pleased by it?
- The largest cause for divorce is financial
- Be generous in your giving
- Create and revisit your budget
Main premarital/ marital conflict: money, sex, and children
Chapter 7
Build a community
- When finding a new church, attend it 4-5 times to get a good understanding of it
- Talk to the church to see if they have small groups
- Attend membership classes if available
- This might need to be something done at 2 -3 churches before you find the right one
- If not a part of one already set a goal for yourself to find one 3 months after your wedding
- Lighten your load
Chapter 8
Intimacy with Jesus
- Sex is meant to be enjoyed
- Talk about expectations
- Do not compare
This is a very preachy premarital book, it gives lots of examples from the bible. I would have loved for it to have given a bit more examples of actual couples, but I liked all the biblical references as well.
In my relationship we believe that God should always come first, this whole book shares that belief. If you do not feel that is the way that it should be, this book could be hard to read or maybe change your mind. It personally solidified the decision that we have already made as a couple.
Gather 4 things before you start:
1. Parental support (Ephesians 6: 2-3) .. it doesn’t always need to be your direct parents
2. Physical standards of conduct
3. Written testimony to Chris (he should be the center of your relationship)
4. Why do you want to marry your fiancé? – try for two paragraphs
Chapter 1
- Jesus must be the center of your life
- He gave you his son, he gave you all the spiritual resources that you need
- We need the love of God, the love of each other alone will not be enough
- His word is most important, and you can refer to it when you reach times of struggle
- “You are secure” you can’t be separated from the love of God
- Jesus is your spouse’s only hero, you don’t need to be your spouse’s savior
- If you want to have a Christian relationship, you need to have a strong relationship with God and be a faithful Christian individual
Assignment I would like to do: find 8 bible verses you would like to have and be able to refer to throughout your marriage and different parts of your life.
Chapter 2
- Whenever we serve, we must do so with a heart of love
- Love endures all things (hardships in the relationship)
Chapter 3
- Problem solving with Jesus as the center
- When there is a problem look to yourself and your partner
- Work out your issues with God and then your spouse
- Repentance will be key
- You must forgive one another
- How can Jesus biblically help me solve problems
Chapter 4
- Roles and Expectations
- This is more about Godly roles versus actual daily roles within the house
- It sets high expectations for husbands and wives
- Make sure you are following God first and that your significant other is not leading you down the wrong path
- Criticize in private
- Respect
- Focus on the blessing and not shortcoming, of which there will be many
Chapter 5
Communication with God in the middle
- What we want will affect how we communicate
- When struggling go to the Lord for you communication and seek help
- Be honest
- Do not let the son go down on your anger and bring opportunity to the develop
- Encourage instead of attack
Chapter 6
Finances with Jesus
- Beware of greed
- Can I afford it? Would the lord be pleased by it?
- The largest cause for divorce is financial
- Be generous in your giving
- Create and revisit your budget
Main premarital/ marital conflict: money, sex, and children
Chapter 7
Build a community
- When finding a new church, attend it 4-5 times to get a good understanding of it
- Talk to the church to see if they have small groups
- Attend membership classes if available
- This might need to be something done at 2 -3 churches before you find the right one
- If not a part of one already set a goal for yourself to find one 3 months after your wedding
- Lighten your load
Chapter 8
Intimacy with Jesus
- Sex is meant to be enjoyed
- Talk about expectations
- Do not compare
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