When Your Child Hurts: Effective Strategies to Increase Comfort, Reduce Stress, and Break the Cycle of Chronic Pain

Yale University Press Health & Wellness

by Rachael Coakley

The foremost resource for parents and caregivers seeking ways to help their child increase comfort and overcome chronic pain Parents of a child in pain want nothing more than to offer immediate comfort. But a child with chronic or recurring pain requires much more. His or her parents need skills and strategies not only for increasing comfort but also for helping their child deal with an array of pain-related challenges, such as school disruption, sleep disturbance, and difficulties with peers. This essential guide, written by an expert in pediatric pain management, is the practical, accessible, and comprehensive resource that families and caregivers have been awaiting. It offers in-the-moment strategies for managing a child’s pain along with expert advice for fostering long-term comfort.   Dr. Rachael Coakley, a clinical pediatric psychologist who works exclusively with families of children with chronic or recurrent pain, provides a set of research-proven strategies—some surprisingly counter-intuitive—to achieve positive results quickly and lastingly. Whether the pain is disease-related, the result of an injury or surgery, or caused by another condition or syndrome, this book offers what every parent of a child in pain most effective methods for reversing the cycle of chronic pain.

Genres: Psychology, Health, Parenting

361 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 12, 2016

Reviews

[Tanya Gaffon · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is game changing. I was hooked from the introduction. Thank you Dr Rachael Coakley for writing the book and for having the courage to show your vulnerability and share some of your own story. I discovered it when I was at the end of my tether, tired of being told to give my daughter over the counter pain medication, which wasn't working. In fact, a course of stronger prescription pain medication didn't work either. The book transformed our approach to managing my daughter's pain, which she experiences as a result of a hypermobility spectrum disorder. She rarely misses school now because of the pain and is back to doing most of the activities she loves. We were also praised by our pain clinic for how we were managing her pain, all thanks to this book.

OTHER HEALTH PROFESSIONALS, this book needs to be recommended alongside or instead of over the counter pain relief. I lost count of the number of health professionals who shrugged when I asked them what else could we do as over the counter pain medication wasn’t working.

[Cara · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was surprised at how comprehensive this book is. She clearly understands how chronic pain in a child affects the whole family dynamic and how stressful it can be for a parent, not to mention a teenager experiencing constant pain. It was well laid out and easy to read but also had some very useful tips in dealing with dysfunctional circumstances. So far there is no answer to the pain, but accepting that reality, she offers many tools to try to make the most of a bad situation.

[Sara Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hugely helpful for families dealing with chronic pain and disabilities. There is so much helpful advice here and it feels achievable. I don’t feel so alone after reading this book, since almost every single one of my current fears and stresses were addressed.

[Mrs.lutterati · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good Framework Tips

I read this as part of my daughter’s inpatient pain program. Some of it I already knew from research and years of working with therapists. What I appreciated from this book is clear guidance with scripts and also what to do when set backs occur.

[Ashley Jensen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was not only extremely validating, but it was insanely informative. There were a few things I didn't fully agree with, but the overall content is a must read for parents of children with chronic pain.

[Lynnaea · Rating 4 out of 5]

Written for parents, this book is a nice distillation of techniques for supporting children with chronic pain. I appreciated the straightforward but compassionate tone.

4/5

[Liz P · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book with very concrete information and ideas on how to handle situations.

[Emily Feldman · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great resource for parents/caregivers. It is also a handy ready for pediatric psychologists/trainees in language to use when communicating with caregivers of children with pain disorders.

[Reagan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Helpful read to not feel alone on the isolating journey of child pain. The very detailed relaxation exercises are helpful.

[Gina Heaney · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good resource for those just starting out with longer term or chronic pain. I’ve been in this awhile so nothing really earth-shattering for me.

[Lisa Powell · Rating 2 out of 5]

Somewhat useful as a list.

I have sympathy for the author, I know folks in this area of care have some challenges. So much chronic pain in young people is unexplained and it's hard to deal with the unknown.

However, this book is shot through with the same attitude I see far too often in medical professionals. The author seems to have no trust at all in her patients and their families, there is almost an adversarial tone.

I gleaned some helpful information here, but I'd caution readers to research any advice she is giving that they are considering using. She seems to be taking the approach that all chronic pain is likely just a misfire of the nervous system, and basically is suggesting ways for the kids to ignore their own pain signals. But when there is a true physical problem, pain is often the indicator, and the only thing that directs us to find and fix the problem.

Many of her methods are basically ways to trick the system into not feeling or giving attention to the pain, and this can be helpful. But it's also the case that if you signal children that expressing unhappiness about pain is bad, they often still feel it but keep their suffering to themselves. Yes, you can worsen the pain by encouraging them to dwell on it, but care should really be taken to not give a child the impression that because he is in pain he is somehow doing something wrong -- or that he needs to just shut up because he's bringing you down. Even if you don't mean anything like this, kids naturally will take those messages if you aren't careful.

Last warning, the author mentions pretty favorably the use of tricyclic antidepressants to treat pain. Kids who are in pain due to hypotension or dysautonomia (not enough oxygen to the digestive system) need to stay away from those -- they lower blood pressure and drastically worsen the problem -- probably dangerously worsen the problem. I would have liked to have seen a note about when the use of these drugs is not advised.