The Legs Are the Last to Go: Aging, Acting, Marrying, and Other Things I Learned the Hard Way

by Diahann Carroll

The actress who broke through television’s color bar, entertainment legend Diahann Carroll tells all in her candid memoir The Legs Are the Last to Go. The first  black woman to star in her own TV series—NBC’s Julia —Carroll displays all the grace, wit, style, and honesty that carried her to the top as she reveals intimate details about her career, her life, and her loves, including her marriage to Vic Damone and her torrid relationship with Sidney Poitier. The Legs Are the Last to Go is an unforgettable self-portrait and revealing Hollywood memoir at its finest.

Genres: Memoir, Biography, Nonfiction, Audiobook, Autobiography, Tv, Biography Memoir

288 pages, Hardcover

First published September 30, 2008

About the author

Diahann Carroll was an American actress, singer, and model.

Reviews

[Aleeda · Rating 4 out of 5]

I hope this book was cathartic for Ms. Carroll, because while it is interesting, The Legs Are the Last to Go certainly does not put her in a favorable light. In alternate chapters, and sometimes in the same chapter, she is sympathetic, pathetic, vain, self-centered and selfish. Both boastful and contrite, she weaves an interesting tale in her memoir.

Diahann Carroll occupies so many firsts in the African-American pantheon. Yet, for all her achievements, for all her intelligence, charisma, charm, and beauty, her inability to sustain or cultivate loving relationships repeatedly sabotages her own happiness; with help she discovers this. Unable to convince herself that she was worthy of a loving, reciprocal relationship, throughout her memoir she repeatedly allows herself to be subjected to treatment in her personal life that I cannot believe she would tolerate in her professional life. The Legs Are the Last to Go has huge gaps, and the reader may wonder where were her friends and family when she pushed aside her husband for a punishing and degrading 9-year affair with Sidney Poitier.

As written, I am led to consider this book an explanation and apology to her daughter with whom she has thankfully reconciled. She discovers very late what Jacqueline Onassis once so eloquently stated: “If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do well matters very much.” With all that she has learned, this reader believes there are still other lessons awaiting Diahann Carroll, and this book is somewhat unsatisfying.

[Jackie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun memoir. Learned a lo about her and her family and friends. Never realized she accomplished so much. She's a prima donna but a likeable one. Nice easy read.

[Rosa · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an enjoyable memoir. You could tell it was written from the vantage point of a mature woman at peace with her life and her decisions - good and bad.
It is filled her self acceptance, a surprising amount of candor and an ability to laugh at situations that might (and did) cause a younger Diahnah much angst. I was surprised at how open and transparent she was regarding child rearing and her sometimes turbulent relationship with her daughter, her parents, choosing men, and career decisions. Although we no longer have Ms. Carroll in this realm to look up to, she is definitely at peace.


Favorite quote:

“And I’m so glad my father and I had a chance to reconcile, and have a proper and quiet goodbye just days before his passing. The peace we found with each other before it was too late is something the has brought great comfort to me. When you’re forgiven, it makes you understand just how much you are loved. And when you forgive? The whole world opens up to you and you make yourself available to the highest form of happiness. p. 247


“No, it isn’t of a lady with a body to die for—all of my Pilates training notwithstanding. The lady on the cover of this book is one who has lived and still has some lines of experience on her face—at least before the retoucher got to it. The lady on the cover may or may not be the perfect mother or grandmother, and heaven knows she has nevr been very good at selecting men. But you know what she most definitely is? She’s happy. I hope you like her. I do. p. 267

[Kitty · Rating 3 out of 5]

I always say that one of the greatest gifts a mom gives her children is someone to blame. And blame Diahann does, even if some of the events had to be pried out of her with "regression therapy'.
And is she a better mother herself? I will let the reader judge that.

What I like best about celebrity memoirs is their interactions with other famous people. This book does not disappoint.

I don't want to judge her, but the book was more like a me, me, me. She is the consummate entertainer and she does not disappoint her fans. She is always ready for her "close up". And there is probably not a bad picture of her anywhere. So, it shouldn't surprise the reader that she is somewhat egotistical. Do you think?

I will leave Diahann with a compliment that she would most likely appreciate. "Damn, you look good!, and you look great no matter how old you are!!

[Dawn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book! Diahann Carroll was such a classy, beautiful and intelligent woman. I knew her from her role as Whitley Gilbert’s mother on a Different World, but I had heard about her role as Julia and her character on Dynasty from my mother. It was so wonderful hearing her talk about the life her parents carved out for her, the work she put into her craft, the mistakes she made and lessons she learned. I also really appreciated how honest she was about how her ambition affected her relationship with daughter. She took full responsibility for the fracture in their relationship and showed the reader how she was actively working fo repair it through her relationship with her grandchildren. I also loved how confident and honest she was about how she is perceived, as she talked about her journey with therapy and self love.

There were also vivid descriptions about her husbands and lovers (Sidney Portier, wow…) and how her desire for romantic love cost her in many ways. She also takes responsibility for how she treated her daughter’s father who was by all accounts a wonderful father and husband. I appreciated how she consistently showed the reader that arrogance and naïveté led her to make some terrible dating and marriage decisions, but as of the writing of the book, she was able to reconcile them with a life lived boldly, with many lessons learned.

She spoke in depth about her relationship with her parents and sister. The relationships were loving but complicated, especially as her star began to rise. She talked about the pain, anger and ultimate forgiveness between them and her candor, especially in regards to her mother, was shocking but refreshing.

She also discussed her battle with cancer and how it forced her to slow down a bit. I do believe a second bout is what ultimately took her life many years later however, and I’m sure she and her bold spirit are sorely missed.

I highly recommend this book for anyone interested in black Hollywood and cinematic history. 5 stars!

[Kimberly Hicks · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed reading Diahann's life story. She was very open and candid about her trials and tribulations. She told just enough to keep the respect she so eloquently displays. I loved this book! She's a great lady and aging perfectly!

[Robin · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is quite possible... that my tracks were shuffled. So I won't spend a lot of time on how the stories seemed a little all over the place. That might be on me. This is not Carroll's biography -- so it is not meant to be linear anyway. this is a sort of supplement subtitled "Aging, Acting, Marrying, and Other Things I Learned the Hard Way," and that is indeed what the stories are about. Sadly for Carroll, she is not always the heroine in these life lessons. Sometimes, even with the perspective of years, she comes across as tiresome. But in the realm of star-turn audio books (and you can see I am a sucker for them) this engages. Carroll's showbiz-trained accent of her generation is refreshing. She tells a good story, often on herself, and lived during amazing times.

[Mothership · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm currently reading and Diahann pulls no punches. She entertaining, funny and direct. So far! Another review when I've actually finished. I'm finished and she could have delved more into detail. It was a breezy book, but as far as what brownstone she lived in as a kid in Harlem, etc., historical details were missing. The book was too general for me. I need depth and detail.

[Dee Dee G · Rating 5 out of 5]

I always thought of Diahann Carroll as such a classy woman. She overcame a lot and had some flaws related to childhood that a lot of people do.

[Jacqueline ❤️’s to Read · Rating 4 out of 5]

A legend, a class act, a resilient Cancerian ♋️, reared for greatness.

She was a bit of a primadonna, and somewhat vain and superficial (by her own admission). But, in a very likeable way. She was funny, bougie and wise. 😝

Yet, she didn’t have a perfect life. She experienced DV, lived through breast cancer, dealt with overt and covert racism, was estranged from her only child and had a lot of dysfunctional relationships.

She held nothing back. May Sidney Poitier RIP. But he was something. Woo!

This was a good memoir.

I loved listening to her voice on the audio. She was so eloquent and elegant. What a talent! Overall, she lived an amazing jet set life.

RIP Queen 👑 🙏🏽

[Ellen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Like the lady, classy (and fun).

[Annie Booker · Rating 1 out of 5]

Couldn't get past chapter 3. Diahann Carroll struck me as rather more fond of herself than I'd previously thought.

[Jalisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved how honest, reflective and transparent this memoir was. Diahann Carroll is completely herself - vain, over the top, often the problem in her relationships - AND still she loves herself.

She talks about her amazing career and the toll it took on her marriages and motherhood. She doesn't shy away from her vulnerabilities: her penchant for choosing the wrong men including four husbands and a multi-year affair with Sidney Poitier.

Carroll talks about how it took until her daughter had her own children for her to really learn how to be a mother. And what I liked most of all is that hers is a story of grace despite the imperfections. She gets the chance to make amends and to change even in her 70s. She is a woman not afraid to say this is me and I like her. I hope you do too.

[Cheryl Durham · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book. It revealed a great deal. The revelations could serve as inspiration and lessons for all. The Legs Are the Last To Go depicted the journey of an individual with dreams and a desire to soar. Whether she was reflecting on the character who played Julia or the one on Dynasty as Dominique.....she learned to lobby for herself and accept nothing less than what she thought she deserved. When speaking about not so pretty instances with family...she also did that with style.

The book masterfully detailed her marriages, the ups and downs that were representative of her career (television and stage), the spat with Andrew Lloyd Weber as well as the racism that she encountered as she began her journey. I particularly like how she revealed the disagreements/views that were present with producers when filming Julia. Yes, the producers wanted to score big. Nevertheless, she wanted it to be educational and worthwhile (since it was new ground). She also wrote about the physical abuse that she endured from a significant other. It's a book of substance and laughter. Its humbling....a quick read.....wonderful story. Highly recommended.

[Marlene Banks · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this read. As someone who grew up watching Miss Carroll on the big and small screen, I appreciated this personal and retrospective narrative of her life. I liked her candid and sometimes comical memories as well as the darker and more emotional ones. This book gave me deeper insight into a performer who I always thought was talented, attractive and uncommonly dignified. Some of what she reveals is not so favorable. Some of it is endearing, yet, all of it is done with an admirable honesty and that unique flare she built her career upon. She's not a perfect person by any means but a wonderfully consummate and classy performer with a great career resume. The one thing you get most from this autobiography is that after all her life's experiences she has emerged wiser having come face to face with her shortcomings and her strengths, less enamored of the entrapments of fame and fortune and willing to change her ways for the sake of meaningful relationships, peace of mind and contentment.

[Grey853 · Rating 2 out of 5]

The trouble with autobiography is that it sometimes breaks down previous positive notions. I've always admired Carroll, but I have to say that this book is not very flattering to the famous actress. I knew she had a troubled history, just not as troubled as this book discusses. She comes across as very superficial and a really bad judge of character, especially when it came to men. She aslo doesn't pull any punches about how she neglected her personal life and her daughter in order to further her career.

I am glad that by the end of the book she's apparently healed some of the rift between them. Still, I wish now that I hadn't read the book.

[Sabrina · Rating 2 out of 5]

The legendary Diahann Carroll is an icon in the entertainment industry and her story is surprising when looking at it from a woman's point of view. She had suffered abuse by the hands of her husband and found love in all the wrong places. She is an admitted snob as far as her self image however, she has endured being a black women in show business and somehow turns out to be quite endearing. Kudos to Diahann for standing up for herself and "making it" as a beautiful woman who happens to be black.

[Cydney · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love celebrity biographies. The reason that I enjoyed this is because the author is pretty forthcoming. She gives you a nice little peek into the backdrop of television, Broadway and Hollywood. I enjoyed how she can admit her mistakes. She admits that she is a vain diva. And it was just funny in parts and pretty insightful. She is an inspirational woman and I am happy that she chose to share her experiences through this memoir.

[LeeTravelGoddess · Rating 5 out of 5]

A magnificent conversation… I’ve loved Madam Diahann from the first moment I saw her on my tv screen!!!

An effortless FIVE STARS!!! She would have to be in my top five dinner guests.

This book has also lit a fire under me to read more books about the fabulous black women that have blessed us with memoirs. I need to know what they wanted us to know.

& lastly, I don’t ever want a man to be the reason, for me. I want to be my own person and have my own mind. I want to be upset cause I am genuinely upset and so on. You allow what you allow & I wish that she had had better men or rather the self love to choose better for herself; although, she didn’t sound regretful about her life. I wish the same for me cause that is pointless.

[Autumn Kearney · Rating 1 out of 5]

The author was amazing actress. I was quite fond of her as June in White Collar. When will I learn my lesson? More often than not I am sadly disappointed while reading celebrity biographies, autobiographies, and memoirs. Just throw this one on that pile of books. She’s was a snob, vain, and had an ego too large for anyone to fit in the room with her

[Lori · Rating 4 out of 5]

Diahann Carroll, writes a good memoir. She shares about growing up in Harlem a pretty girl who already shows a talent for singing. She attends the high school for performing arts. Very soon has a career singing and acting. She has had a successful career her entire adult life. Appearing in movies, tv shows. She has her own show starring as "Julia" a widowed black women raising her son alone and working in a doctor's office. She writes of the racism she has endured. her four marriages. working in Las Vegas. and being the "first black bitch role" in Dynasty. She writes of her affairs with Sidney Poitier. A good read from a talented lady.

[Cindy Feigert · Rating 4 out of 5]

Diahann Carroll takes a honest look back at her life and career. This is beautifully told in her own voice and that is was makes this listen so special. She has such an exquisite voice. She talks about her family life, love and her failure at marriage, her career and her love of beautiful things. I'm glad I took a listen.

[KR · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quick and fun read. She is certainly a diva. I'm usually more fond of balanced biography and autobiographies, and this felt really one-sided. Nevertheless, a good read.

[LeTara Moore · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ms. Carroll didn’t always paint herself in the best light, but she was pretty honest, and that is what I appreciate about this memoir. I listened to the audio version of this book, as I often prefer to do with memoirs, and I am so glad that I did. She was a wonderful performer and listening to her felt more like listening to a story rather than just hearing her read. I’m aware that she had published her autobiography years prior to her publishing this memoir, but I felt that she gave quite a few details about her younger life to help catch the reader up to speed on where she was with her experiences later on in life.

She talked about everything from her numerous failed relationships (I found myself very annoyed with some of her relationship choices and had a few moments where I caught myself saying, “Damn, Diahann!”), her strained relationship with her daughter, the fact that she often chose to pursue men and her career instead of being a more present mother, her battle with breast cancer, and aging in general. I love listening to the stories of my elders because I want to know how they managed to survive life and make it to their eighth and ninth decades.

I was never bored listening to Ms. Carroll. At the time this book was published she was in her 70s and she seemed to have a good grip on who she was and she had come accept it. Despite the mistakes that she had made as a mother, as a wife, and as a performer, her life was one that was well-lived. While listening to her, she made me laugh and she spoke on some things that made me reflect. Her personality was very much that of a diva and she knew that. She eventually grew more humble with age and also became a little more down-to-earth as she worked to rebuild her relationship with her daughter and become a better mother and grandmother.

My only complaint was that she jumped around in the chronology a bit, so I became confused about the timeline at times. Maybe I wasn’t paying as close attention as I thought I had been. I’m glad Ms. Carroll shared her story and I am glad that I listened to her narrate it. I give it 4 out of 5 stars.

Originally published on my blog Life In a Few Words.

[Gina Ulicny · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you like reading about Hollywood, you will enjoy this book. Miss Carroll certainly was a formidable character. I listened to it, and enjoyed hearing her voice, her tone, her inflection of her memories. You certainly know who she is. She comes across vain, and she tells you several times throughout the book that she is, indeed vain, that her appearance, image is very important to her.

She seems like truly a loving person, but her longest deepest relationship was with her mother and at times that was quite strained. It’s quite sad that she never found the ability to have a long-term relationship with a man.

Although the book was detailed with some of her memories, it was quite general overall. I did enjoy getting another facet of Hollywood, how women were treated, and the racism and prejudice that she lived. She was a consummate professional, and no matter what hand was dealt her she seems to have had the confidence, fortitude and wisdom to rise above. I was impressed with her reflections on racism, and seeing a strong difference between true racism, and unintentional ignorance.

In some ways this book would 2.5 for me because I would only recommend it to someone who loved her or enjoys old Hollywood.... but because I just enjoyed getting to know her, I rated it a 4. I think in real life I would like her. She pulled no punches, and with her I think you always knew what you were getting. I like that about her, I like that about anyone.

[Michael Cohn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic memoir from a late, great legend

Diahann Carroll's voice rings out loud and clear in this memoir. You feel as if you are hearing in the most honest terms about her life and career with all their ups and downs. She is inspiring and funny and candid. This book is full of great stories about her, her parents, her husband, her daughter and her fellow actors and singers. Diahann sounds like with age she has grown more comfortable with herself. This book is a just a joy to read. As a child, one of my first memories was watching her star in the TV series "Julia." That show was a cultural touchstone in many ways, but I hadn't followed her career closely after that. Not long ago, I was offered a discount offer on the ebook for just a few dollars and I decided to download it. I started reading it and was just entranced by the writing and her captivating personality in the first few pages. Sadly Ms. Carroll died only a few weeks later and I went back to reading her book and have just finished it tonight. What a wonderful experience it is to read this book and to have at least this contact with a very special performer and human being who has inspired many actresses who came after her.

[India Celeste · Rating 4 out of 5]

I didn't LOVE this book but I really liked it a lot (as indicated by the rating). I read pretty much the whole thing in Diahann Carroll's voice, which made it even funnier. The interesting thing is I did see some parallels in her way of thinking & it was a sure sign for me to "be careful" about some things. Some might take offense to her vanity, but I think it's great that she knows who she is and what she likes. There's a freedom in being content with yourself, even if sometimes it costs you. It was refreshing to see someone admit and take responsibility for their actions as well as see where courage and drive can take a person in spite of their beginnings. I recommend this book for people who find value in the outlook of those from generations way ahead of theirs, because even though times may change some things will always be a matter of thinking ahead and appreciating what you have.

[Urs · Rating 3 out of 5]

I guess that I am on an autobiography/memoir binge, since this is my second of this year already.

This book gives an open look at Carroll's past. Readers will learn about Carroll's relationship with her mother and father, her marriages, her relationship with her daughter, her experiences with racism, why she carries herself the way she does, her experience as she ages, andher thoughts about her choices. What is best about this book is that Carroll is so honest. She knows that she has made mistakes and owns up to them. She is forthcoming about her life and thoughts. For instance, you do not often hear a take like hers on Porgy and Bess, especially from a person of color. At the same time, it was odd that she went along with it feeling the way that she did about it.

If you can manage not to judge her about her life and choices, then it should be possible to simply enjoy the candid, interesting account of Carroll's life as I did.

[Jo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Whenever I read someone's memoirs I'm struck by their bravery. I cannot imagine telling the world my unfiltered truth. And, yet, here it is. Diahann Carroll's truth. She admits to being vain, controlling and self involved. She is proud of her accomplishments and saddened by her inability to enter into and maintain a long term romantic relationship.

I've always admired the author's beauty, poise and voice. I discovered her on A Different World and my mom showed me her on Dynasty. I enjoyed hearing about how she began, what she learned along the way and her honestly regarding the unsavory parts of her life. In the end, we are all human. Some of us are just far better dressed humans (j/k).

[Stanjay Daniels · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was superb. I really enjoyed reading about her life. I listened to her read the book and the jazz music that served as her backdrop to each chapter was quintessential for the daughter of New York. It’s crazy that many aspects of her real life mirrored my favorite character that she played, Marion Gilbert on A Different World. The glamorous part of her persona, her love for fashion was notable when she was on Dynasty. I was intrigued hearing her own up to the mistakes she made with rearing her daughter. Excellent read. I miss her. RIP queen!