Synopsis: I swear I have read this one before, though usually I remember covers better than plots. But the story was WAY too familiar to me to not have read it. Either that or all these books from the 90s are just interchangeable... which I don't really doubt.
So Elizabeth has! her! period! now. Which is epic not because she actually has her period (that happens to half the population, after all), but because periods and "supplies" are discussed, and it is more or less acknowledged that the Wakefields actually GO to the bathroom and have private parts (oh my god, ya'll). The title, Jessica's Secret, actually comes from Jessica NOT having her period yet. But when Liz tells her, Jess doesn't say anything. Liz does kind of talk a lot, but Jessica still had a whole freaking book to tell her, but she doesn't. So begins the wrath of Hurricane Jessica who acts alternately really happy and really pissy (and she doesn't even have her period yet!).
Never one to miss a chance for manipulation, Jessica uses Liz's newfound maturity to her advantage, while simultaneously letting everyone believe that she is "so grown up" now. Because Ned and Alice believe that the twins both received their periods, they have decided to let them go to San Diego to visit their cousin, Robin, alone. Right. Jessica is actually depressed that she doesn't get to manipulate her family further, because they say yes right away. Jess and Liz immediately head to the mall to buy new outfits for the occasion. Jess gets a purple skirt and a purple top (ew), and Liz gets a turquoise blouse with puffy sleeves and buttons down the front.
The next day at lunch the Unicorns start talking about periods, natch, and Jess gets in her super-angry mode again. When Liz comes to their table Jessica sneers at her top and insults Liz, telling her how immature her outfit looks and what a baby she is. Okay, Jess. Whatever you say. Jess never apologizes, but Liz forgives her before the trip because Liz is a hopeless doormat.
When they arrive in San Diego and see Robin, Liz notes how much she has changed. She is dressed all in black with her hair super short. Clearly she is going to have much more in common with Jessica than Liz. And (surprise!) she does. Robin has a 16-year-old boyfriend named Johnny (ew) except she's clearly faking it, because she doesn't want the twins to meet him. And she has been asked to join the Jaguars, a super-exclusive club at her middle school that is similar to the Unicorns. The Jags all wear silver ID bracelets, which Jessica thinks is hopelessly cool.
When Liz finds out that night that Robin smokes now (I think she's lying about that, too), she admonishes her for it. Once again, she is called a baby, in an attempt by Jessica to keep holding all the power in their relationship. The next morning Robin is told that she can have a sleepover - IF she invites her former dippy friend Becky. Liz knows that she will like her even if Jess and Robin don't. So Becky is invited, but so are all the Jags. Becky calls them Hags, hehe. Turns out it is Robin's night to be "initiated," as if this is some college sorority important enough to be initiated into. Whatever.
Robin has to go to her supposed boyfriend Johnny's house and get him to drive her to the park. Liz and Becky stay at home. Jessica thinks it will be a breeze since Robin is dating Johnny and all. But only... she's not. So that really sucks. Johnny doesn't even know who Robin is. Instead, Jessica and Robin end up at a man's house that is actually two doors down from Johnny's. Oops. Meanwhile, back at Casa Robin's, Stacey, Robin's younger sister, has just woken up and is intercepted by Liz and Becky. They tell her to go back to sleep, but she is worried about her sister so she goes to fetch her parents. Ruh roh. Jessica will certainly hold a grudge about this and...
She does. She won't talk to Liz ALL the way home on the bus. But Jessica's stomach starts to hurt (where could this be going, I wonder?) and she stops to get some Ginger Ale at a rest stop. She takes too long so Liz gets off and informs her that they will now be late getting back to Sweet Valley. Jessica stops in the bathroom and realizes that she has just gotten her period too! She can finally stop acting like a psycho bitch! (Or not).
She then tells Lizzie about the rest of her night with Robin. They went back to the park and told the Jags what happened, so the leader, Vicki, gave Robin a new dare. She had to cut off all of Becky's hair, but Robin, thankfully, refused. She told them that she wanted no part in a club that could be that cruel to people. Jess insists to Liz that she was actually super proud of Robin for doing this. Yeah right, Jess. You know the Jags are TOTALLY your people. You are the girl who could, after all, starve a DIFFERENT Robin to death and drive Miss Annie to attempted suicide, all in the name of superiority.
Alternate Title
: "The Wakefields have Privates!"
Tagline: "Something has come between the twins!" (...And it's a big, red, wet visitor that pops in once a month!)
On a Scale of 1-10, How Annoying is Elizabeth?: 0. I'm with her on this one.
On a Scale of 1-10, How Sociopathic is Jessica?: 5. She's off and on in this one.
The Big Deal: Well, the big deal is actually Liz getting her period and Jessica not, but the big deal is also a trip to San Diego for the twins to see their cousin, Robin.
Lingering Questions: When did we first meet Robin? I don't remember at all. Do they ever visit her again, or in SVH?
Cover: Good or Bad?: Great! Jessica looks like she could punch a ninja. And did you notice she has Unicorn earrings on?! Totally boss. Way better than Unicorns on a t-shirt. Her glowering stare is just priceless, and I love her hair on this one.
Quotes from the Book: "'You're acting snotty and mean,' Elizabeth said, 'And I'm getting really tired of it!' She stormed out of the room."
Go Liz!
"'Are you twins?' asked a second girl."
Wow, these Jaguars are about as brain dead as you could possibly get.
"Jessica was the last to leave. She looked back at Elizabeth and rolled her eyes. What a baby, she thought. Without a word, Jessica closed the door behind her as quietly as she could. She felt VERY mature."
Sure, Jess.
Moral of the Story: Not having your period will make you more emotional than actually having it.
Final Rating: Three stars. The Wakefields ACTUALLY USE THE BATHROOM IN THIS ONE, YA'LL!