2.5 stars.
Okay, so this book could've been better, but at the same time it wasn't, like, bad? But still, I wish it was better than it was. The rating seems too low, but it's not quite a 3-star read.
Ugh. Let me explain.
So basically it's about a girl named Blake who has been in a relationship with Justin for eight years. Justin is emotionally abusive and extremely unpleasant to read about. I mean, obviously he was supposed to be unpleasant but good lord, I wanted to reach into the book and stab him. So, Blake is an aspiring meteorologist but actually has more of an interest in storm chasing. In one of her classes she meets Dash, a storm chaser, and his friends John and Paul who are part of his team. A friendship strikes between the two of them and she starts developing a bit of a crush on Dash, and starts to question her relationship with Justin.
So, the book actually started out relatively strong and I went in with low, albeit hopeful expectations. So here's what I liked and didn't like.
1. The portrayal of Justin and Blake's relationship.
So, emotional abuse isn't something that's really talked about in a lot of books, especially NA books. Usually it's focused on physical abuse, sometimes sexual. Most NA books aren't particularly good at portraying abuse in a tasteful or sensitive way. Usually it's very gratuitous and only serves as an incentive for the hero to swoop in and save the broken heroine. We get a graphic scene of the heroine getting the shit beat out of her, the hero, with his tattoos and rippling abs, bursts in, kicks the abusive boyfriend's ass, and runs out with the bleeding heroine in his arms where he tends to her injuries and swears that he'll love and protect her forever and ever and they have terribly written sex and live happily ever after, no mental scars to be seen. Cue the reviews with multiple crying gifs, shouting about The Most Romantic Book In the World.
I hate those fucking books, in case you couldn't tell.
But this was not the case here.
Emotional abuse is harder to write about. There are no physical scars left (at least not by the abuser), and it can be so subtle that a lot of times you don't realize you're being abused, you just write it off as, "well, that's just how they are." The book succeeded in that regard, to an extent. Right away we're introduced to Justin's toxic behavior and the effect it has on Blake and how helpless and exhausted she feels. What helped is that we get a little bit of a backstory on Justin and why he is the way he is, and how he sort of became to be that way. This was good because it actually portrayed Justin as kind of a well-rounded character. He wasn't just this psychotic monster with no personality. He had one, he had a history, and I appreciated that. I understood why Blake stayed with him so long.
2. The abuse was (somewhat) portrayed realistically.
Okay, so, some parts were well done. The suicide threats, the veiled put-downs, the insults, all things that the book more or less nailed. But then some of Justin's behaviour, I don't know if it was abusive so much as just really inconsiderate. For instance, he would constantly, and I mean CONSTANTLY, promise to take Blake out and then ditch her for his friends and his XBOX, and also ask her for money for games, and be really selfish in bed. Shitty things to do, totally, but abusive? I don't know. I've seen firsthand what an emotional abuser does to a person, and you would not believe just how much damage it can do. It's so subtle but it has so many real world effects and it can truly fuck up a person for life. I think that's why I wanted to read this in the first place, because I have such a personal connection to it.
I didn't quite get that with Blake, though. I felt her exhaustion and anger, and I definitely understood her feeling so fed up with Justin (I was fucking fed up every time he showed up in any scene). But she's been doing this for eight years, and I didn't quite feel the...I don't know, desperation? The blurb says that Blake doesn't know what a normal relationship is, but that's the thing: she does. Sure, she wonders what it'd be like to actually have a normal boyfriend, but at the same time she knows that Justin's behaviour isn't normal. In that sense, it could've been written better.
3. The characters.
Blake and Dash definitely had more personality than most NA couples, which is refreshing. You actually understand why they're so interested in storm-chasing and why they become friends so quickly. You do get a feel for them as people, which is nice, because with so many NA couples, they don't exist outside of each other. Blake and Dash do, though.
Also, she has a bulldog named Hail and I love her. A lot. Oh, and Paul's thing is telling really corny weather jokes that I don't quite understand, but I appreciated it anyway.
Okay, so here's my biggest issue with the book: the writing. It was very hit-or-miss. In some parts it was fine. The storm chasing aspect was very interesting and well-researched. I would never, ever, EVER do that in a million years, but it was fun to read about. The dialogue was fine. But then with a lot of Blake's internal monologue, it was very telling-and-no-showing, which is a pet peeve of mine. It was by no means terrible, I just wish it was better. I got the distinct impression that Molly E. Lee COULD do better, but she was maybe holding herself back, so I'm definitely not writing her off or anything. Considering how mediocre so many NA books are, this was definitely an improvement amongst all the crap I've read.
I feel like Blake and Dash chemistry could've been written better. I mean, I understood why they liked each other, but I didn't quite feel the sexual tension. Also, Blake kept talking about her "core" every time Dash did something innocuous, like lift something heavy, and it was actually really cringey. The sex scenes itself were fine, but, future reference: please don't use the word "core" as a synonym for your vagina. it's not sexy, it's just unintentionally funny.
The book also got repetitive after awhile, which is why it took me awhile to get through it. Also, Lindsay was ridiculously cliche and there was literally no reason for her to be the way she was, except to make Blake look good. C'mon, Ms. Lee. I know you can do better than that.
But here is the best thing I think this book has going for it: Blake saves herself. Yes, Dash makes her realize what a healthy relationship is, but she comes to the decision to break up with Justin on her own, and she knows that she deserves better. When Justin tries to hurt her, she defends her own damn self. Does she go to Dash for emotional support? Yes, but for the most part, she's not a damsel in distress. Dash doesn't solve her problems with sex and doesn't condescend to her, he helps her and encourages her and gives her the support she needs to get things done. Even when he wants to be the cliche hero and take care of her, she tells him no, let me do this on my own.
Do you know how nice that is to read about? THAT'S SO NICE TO READ ABOUT!! Please, can we have more NA heroines like this?
So, overall: the writing and pacing could've been better, but this was decent and overall a pleasant surprise. I don't know if this is the author's debut or not, but I think she's more or less promising and I'll more than likely read something by her again. There's no slut-shaming (for the most part), the abuse aspect was pretty much tasteful (I do wish it went more in-depth with the effect it had on Blake, but beggars can't be choosers), and there were no douchey, cavemen alpha males to be seen (I mean, unless you count Justin, but he's supposed to be an asshole). Go ahead and give it a shot.
PS: holy crap this review is long.