Relationships have become more exhausting than exhilarating. Is it just me? When I'm single, I'm prowling for my love. It's costly to my sanity and to my wallet, trying to determine if she likes me—then doing things to make her like me more (and get naked). When I'm in a relationship, I'm juggling texts, dates, her family gatherings, and baseball, doing my best to avoid disappointing my lover. Do you wonder what life would be like on the other side? When married, how peaceful single life could be. When single, how marriage might cure loneliness. Having been on both sides, I'm unsure which is better. There are great parts of both. Whether you're male, female, or something in between; whether you're eighteen or eighty or something in between—you're going to relate to the following pages in some way. I guarantee it. I also guarantee I will push your buttons. I'll make you giggle and piss you off. That's intentional. I just hope you're entertained by my relationship disasters. Heck, maybe my mistakes will save you from a similar fate (another pet). Enjoy the ride, my friends. If you ever see me at my office (a bar), put a hand on my shoulder, share a frosty beverage, and let's steer each other away from the dangerous cliffs of love.
Torcivia is a divorced man who transplanted himself from Pennsylvania into the treacherous dating pool in Southern California. His feline companions, Syd and Symon, share his home in San Diego and an occasional dish of leftover tuna. Torcivia loves nothing better than bellying up to the bar with his favorite social lubrication (wine) and watching the bizarre mating rituals of the locals, which he translates into humorous essays. He has been single long enough to be involved in a few train wrecks of his own, admitting that he's "one relationship disaster away from a third cat."