What do you think?
Rate this book
The Secret Language of Girls #2
The Kind of Friends We Used to Be
Kate and Marylin are best friends forever....
Well, except for last year when they weren't friends anymore....
And except for this year when they both want to be friends again, but just don't know how.
But the thing is, even as they are trying to fix their broken friendship, they are becoming more and more unalike. And that's becoming harder and harder to deal with. Well, it would be a lot easier if Kate would just take some of Marylin's fashion advice. Ballet flats would look so much better than those big black combat boots. Feminine. But Kate doesn't want to be feminine. She wants to learn guitar and write her own songs; she wants to be the exact opposite of the middle-school cheerleaders. And maybe if Marylin would just stick up for herself and not get bullied by Mazie (the Meanest Cheerleader Ever) into judging anyone who's the least bit different, Marylin and Kate could be real friends again.
Funny, realistic, and incredibly insightful, Edgar Award-winning novelist Frances O'Roark Dowell explores the shifting terrain of middle-school friendship in the companion book to the well-loved The Secret Language of Girls .
Well, except for last year when they weren't friends anymore....
And except for this year when they both want to be friends again, but just don't know how.
But the thing is, even as they are trying to fix their broken friendship, they are becoming more and more unalike. And that's becoming harder and harder to deal with. Well, it would be a lot easier if Kate would just take some of Marylin's fashion advice. Ballet flats would look so much better than those big black combat boots. Feminine. But Kate doesn't want to be feminine. She wants to learn guitar and write her own songs; she wants to be the exact opposite of the middle-school cheerleaders. And maybe if Marylin would just stick up for herself and not get bullied by Mazie (the Meanest Cheerleader Ever) into judging anyone who's the least bit different, Marylin and Kate could be real friends again.
Funny, realistic, and incredibly insightful, Edgar Award-winning novelist Frances O'Roark Dowell explores the shifting terrain of middle-school friendship in the companion book to the well-loved The Secret Language of Girls .
240 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2009
144 people are currently reading
1820 people want to read
About the author
Frances O'Roark Dowell
46 books402 followersWhile Frances O'Roark Dowell (Dovey Coe, The Secret Language of Girls, Trouble the Water) is best known for her award-winning novels, she also hosts the popular "Off-Kilter Quilt" podcast, where she talks about her latest quilt projects with friends and fellow quilters around the globe. Her own little corner of the globe is Durham, North Carolina, where she lives with her husband, two sons, and a dog named Travis. Connect with her online at FrancesDowell.com.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 355 reviews
July 6, 2009
Spot-on depiction of middle school social politics -- this little number is something I wish I could have had when I was twelve.
In the predecessor to this book (The Secret Language of Girls, which I haven't read), best friends Marylin and Kate grow apart when Marylin joins the cheerleading squad. This plot is no stranger to the world of middle grade fiction, but O'Roark Dowell manages to steer clear of character stereotypes and bring us something nuanced and real.
In The Kind of Friends We Used to Be, our heroines have decided to patch things up and maintain their friendship despite their differences, a task which seems more daunting every day. But before their roles as Cheerleader and Outsider cement, they both find individual niches in their respective social spheres. Kate buys big black boots, begins to write poetry and play Joni Mitchell songs on acoustic guitar, Marylin begins to buck the cheerleaders and find new self-confidence in student government -- and finds that cute nerdy guys are often preferable to jocks (YES!). Both girls find that they respect each other's strengths, and even come to rely on them.
O'Roark Dowell has also blessed this book with a beautiful cast of supporting characters, a heap of zingy one-liners (really, this woman writes the way I think, which I love) and carefully delineated emotion. Love it.
In the predecessor to this book (The Secret Language of Girls, which I haven't read), best friends Marylin and Kate grow apart when Marylin joins the cheerleading squad. This plot is no stranger to the world of middle grade fiction, but O'Roark Dowell manages to steer clear of character stereotypes and bring us something nuanced and real.
In The Kind of Friends We Used to Be, our heroines have decided to patch things up and maintain their friendship despite their differences, a task which seems more daunting every day. But before their roles as Cheerleader and Outsider cement, they both find individual niches in their respective social spheres. Kate buys big black boots, begins to write poetry and play Joni Mitchell songs on acoustic guitar, Marylin begins to buck the cheerleaders and find new self-confidence in student government -- and finds that cute nerdy guys are often preferable to jocks (YES!). Both girls find that they respect each other's strengths, and even come to rely on them.
O'Roark Dowell has also blessed this book with a beautiful cast of supporting characters, a heap of zingy one-liners (really, this woman writes the way I think, which I love) and carefully delineated emotion. Love it.
October 18, 2017
I read this book when school started. This book was actually better then i thought it would be.One thing I really liked about this book is the relationship between Marylin and Kate. I could really understand that feeling because i had those friends who was totally different from who I was. In the beginning of the book Kate and Marylin were not even friends anymore like they used to. But, at the end they both became best friends again.
January 11, 2013
I just finished reading The Kind Of Friends We Used To Be written by: Frances O'Roark Dowell. This book about two girls - Kate and Marylin - have been best friends forever, but now there starting to become just friends. My favorite part of this book is probably the ending because it is heart felt and joyful. I am only going to tell you is that it involves some Christmas caroling. Marylin is a seventh grade cheerleader and wants to be in the Student Government. Kate is more like me - in my opinion. Kate wants to be a guitar player that wears black boots, a T-Shirt, and jeans. She also wants to be a song writer and because of that she signed up for a Writing class after school. Marylin and Kate both met someone special to them in their activities. I think Marylin is cool because she doesn't hang out with the cheerleaders, - because there all mean - she cares about Student Government, and she believes in fairies - I do too. Kate is cool also because she plays the guitar, writes songs, and is nice to all her piers. Kate inspired me to write sons also, so now I write songs. This book most girls would like and probably not a lot of guys would love ti as much as I did. I gave this book five star because I never wanted to put it down, I could picture everything, and I felt like it was really happening. This book was a outstandingly amazing book. I think it is hard to find a best friend and if you find it you must treasure it.
June 4, 2021
I could not put this book down in 4th grade. Literally. I borrowed it from my class library in October and kept rereading it until June.
April 4, 2011
Reading about real life is one of my favorites, because it give me new perspectives about everything.
I love this story. I love it's messages and characters. After reading two chapters I was already in love with the characters, and I felt so close to them. I felt like I were their best friends.
I feel closer to Kate, because she wants to be different and stand out. She plays GUITAR. Like me.
I feel in a way like Marylin, but she was more of a friend to me. This book is a follow-up (Sequel) to The Secret Language of Girls which I can't wait to read.
This story was written so good, I wish it was more well noticed. It is so good! I recommend this to people who like stories with mild drama, life changes, and a bit of romance. Oh, and change!
I can read this story over and over again. This is like a comfort novel, because I feel so close to it. I finished this book in a week, I read anywhere from 5-15 minutes on my kindle with this book. I had so much homework that week! But back to the book, this book was truly amazing, and I loved it!
I love this story. I love it's messages and characters. After reading two chapters I was already in love with the characters, and I felt so close to them. I felt like I were their best friends.
I feel closer to Kate, because she wants to be different and stand out. She plays GUITAR. Like me.
I feel in a way like Marylin, but she was more of a friend to me. This book is a follow-up (Sequel) to The Secret Language of Girls which I can't wait to read.
This story was written so good, I wish it was more well noticed. It is so good! I recommend this to people who like stories with mild drama, life changes, and a bit of romance. Oh, and change!
I can read this story over and over again. This is like a comfort novel, because I feel so close to it. I finished this book in a week, I read anywhere from 5-15 minutes on my kindle with this book. I had so much homework that week! But back to the book, this book was truly amazing, and I loved it!
June 14, 2019
It's a quick fun read. Perfect if you're bored and need to pass some time.
October 28, 2015
I don't know if a lot of people notice that almost like every book that we read is realistic fiction. In my book it's exactly the same it is realistic fiction that's what makes it boring for once I want to read a book that is not realistic but romantic I can sometimes find a book that is romantic but it's rare. The genre once again is realistic fiction. I thought the book was amazing I can almost say that it's better than other books that I read but the number one book for me is called Better Off Friends which is very romantic. The point of view is first person,first person means the character in the story is telling the story.
The setting of the story takes place at the school that they go to that's were all the action happens. Kate wanted to be a song writer and guitar player but all the songs that she wrote she didn't really like them so one of her friends started helping her and she went to a writing class were she met a boy that wrote beautiful poems who she soon took interest in. Marylin wanted to join student government but it was a lot of work with homework,cheer leading practice and having to go to her dads house and switch. So she asked her best friend if it was a good idea and she told her to go for it and that she would help her make the posters and help her write speeches. That next day she told her speech to the whole school and she never really talked to the new girl but when she was done with the speech the girl gave her a drawing of Marylin and she loved it so she told her that she was going to copy it a hang it around the school so they can vote for her. They soon became friends even though when they first met Marylin was mean to her. Later on that day Kate's friend got caught skipping class with a really pretty girl. Kate got jealous because she was in love with the boy named Matthew who got in trouble with the girl. She didn't say anything because she didn't want to ruin there friendship but she was sad so she skipped her writing class and when she went home he called her and started talking to her about his day. She acted normal and Marylin was a little surprised that she had a friend that was a boy and she didn't tell her. The conflict in the story is person vs person the conflict is that Marylin and Kate try to fix there broken friendship so they try to do any thing they can to fix it since they were friends since they were little. As there trying to fix there broken friendship they become more and more unlike.At the end of the story they ended up being best friend even though there not very a like but that's what makes there friendship interesting and different. The theme in the book is supportive because when Kate gets hurt when she see's her crush with another girl Marylin was supportive and was telling her that there must be an explanation or was telling her not to worry. Which she was right because he told her that they were just friends.
This book compare's to the first book called The Secret Language of Girls because in the middle of the book they argue and towards the end of the book they try to fix what had happened which is what they do in this book. This book would not be so good for it to become a movie because it won't be so interesting and it doesn't really have a protagonist or antagonist when there is it would be better. Another theme that recurs throughout the book is helpful. This theme can be seen when Kate helps Marylin become student government because she really wanted to win it helps her a lot because she always has things to do so she is really grateful for her helpful friend.
I was touched when Marylin was by Kate's side when she was sad because there are not that many friends that do that. Usually other friends would tell her to get over it and that there are better looking boys than just him. In my opinion that moved me I got very surprised. I was also shocked because Marylin had a friend that was very mean and so I thought that she was also turning very rude but she stayed true to her best friend.
In conclusion I overall liked it I would rated the book a one out of five it would probably a three it wasn't that good nor that bad. I would recommend this book to my friend Izcalli because I told her to read the first book so if she likes it she might like this book too. Hopefully there is a third book that's better than this one that has protagonist and antagonist which makes it a little more interesting or so I can be excited to read the book. Who know's there might be a third book. If there is would you read it?
The setting of the story takes place at the school that they go to that's were all the action happens. Kate wanted to be a song writer and guitar player but all the songs that she wrote she didn't really like them so one of her friends started helping her and she went to a writing class were she met a boy that wrote beautiful poems who she soon took interest in. Marylin wanted to join student government but it was a lot of work with homework,cheer leading practice and having to go to her dads house and switch. So she asked her best friend if it was a good idea and she told her to go for it and that she would help her make the posters and help her write speeches. That next day she told her speech to the whole school and she never really talked to the new girl but when she was done with the speech the girl gave her a drawing of Marylin and she loved it so she told her that she was going to copy it a hang it around the school so they can vote for her. They soon became friends even though when they first met Marylin was mean to her. Later on that day Kate's friend got caught skipping class with a really pretty girl. Kate got jealous because she was in love with the boy named Matthew who got in trouble with the girl. She didn't say anything because she didn't want to ruin there friendship but she was sad so she skipped her writing class and when she went home he called her and started talking to her about his day. She acted normal and Marylin was a little surprised that she had a friend that was a boy and she didn't tell her. The conflict in the story is person vs person the conflict is that Marylin and Kate try to fix there broken friendship so they try to do any thing they can to fix it since they were friends since they were little. As there trying to fix there broken friendship they become more and more unlike.At the end of the story they ended up being best friend even though there not very a like but that's what makes there friendship interesting and different. The theme in the book is supportive because when Kate gets hurt when she see's her crush with another girl Marylin was supportive and was telling her that there must be an explanation or was telling her not to worry. Which she was right because he told her that they were just friends.
This book compare's to the first book called The Secret Language of Girls because in the middle of the book they argue and towards the end of the book they try to fix what had happened which is what they do in this book. This book would not be so good for it to become a movie because it won't be so interesting and it doesn't really have a protagonist or antagonist when there is it would be better. Another theme that recurs throughout the book is helpful. This theme can be seen when Kate helps Marylin become student government because she really wanted to win it helps her a lot because she always has things to do so she is really grateful for her helpful friend.
I was touched when Marylin was by Kate's side when she was sad because there are not that many friends that do that. Usually other friends would tell her to get over it and that there are better looking boys than just him. In my opinion that moved me I got very surprised. I was also shocked because Marylin had a friend that was very mean and so I thought that she was also turning very rude but she stayed true to her best friend.
In conclusion I overall liked it I would rated the book a one out of five it would probably a three it wasn't that good nor that bad. I would recommend this book to my friend Izcalli because I told her to read the first book so if she likes it she might like this book too. Hopefully there is a third book that's better than this one that has protagonist and antagonist which makes it a little more interesting or so I can be excited to read the book. Who know's there might be a third book. If there is would you read it?
February 10, 2009
In this sequel to The Secret Language of Girls, Kate and Marylin have started 7th grade. At first this seems to be Kate’s story – feeling like the odd girl out at Marylin’s cheerleader-and-ballplayer-filled party, Kate realizes that she wants to be different. Specifically, she longs to play guitar. In short order, she has borrowed a guitar from her old nemesis Flannery and has acquired a pair of clunky black thrash boots.
However, Kate only appears intermittently after this. Clearly, she is at peace with her boot-wearing, guitar-playing, song-writing self, and so even when she finds a kindred spirit in a cute guy named Matthew, not much needs to be said. The focus then shifts to Marylin, new cheerleader and therefore newly part of the in-crowd of 7th-grade girls. Her dilemma is that while in some ways she feels that she belongs with this group, in other ways she feels hemmed-in and inhibited, afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing and calling down the scathing disapproval of the other cheerleaders.
Luckily, Marylin may be a pretty, clothing-obsessed girl but she is also, above all, a nice and sensible person. When she finally comes to terms with the fact that being nice and sensible might mean making friends of whom her cheerleader friends disapprove, she goes ahead and does the right thing (though not without some trepidation), opening her mind to new and fascinating people and ideas.
There isn’t much new territory broken here – stories of friends changing and growing apart abound in books for tweens. What is tremendously appealing about this book and its predecessor is a simple and timeless feeling. Sure, the kids text each other (a bit), but otherwise this story could have taken place forty years ago. And that’s the point – friendships are often the most intense and important elements of a girl’s life just before and during middle school, and so that is the focus of this story. The simple, slang-free language is also timeless, and reminds me a bit of Ann M. Martin’s Main Street series (although that is for younger girls) and some of Zilpha Keatley Snyder’s books.
Give this book and The Secret Language of Girls to girls who love Judy Blume’s Just As Long as We’re Together, Phyllis Reynolds Naylor’s Alice series, and other books about friendship and learning who your true self is.
Grades 4 - 6
Read
August 5, 2023This book randomly popped into my head even tho I haven’t read it in a long time. I could only remember what the cover art looked like. Not the title. Not the author. Just a vague memory and I found it 💪
May 6, 2009
Small deviants aside, little kids are friendly folk. Catch `em young enough and you can turn them into friends if they both like making chocolate chip cookies and having sleepovers. They are discerning, but friendship often trumps their differences . . . for a time. Then puberty appears on the horizon and all bets are off. Suddenly kids have to form strategic alliances with their peers. And that friend you made in the second grade? Suddenly you're beginning to realize that you two have very little in common aside from some common history. A fair amount of middle grade fiction gets devoted to this subject every year. Boys and girls go through it, often with a whole messload of hurt feelings along the way. But though it's a sequel to The Secret Language of Girls, Frances O'Roark Dowell's The Kind of Friends We Used to Be stands on its own as an original understanding of what it means for a gal to navigate puberty without losing herself in the process. Startlingly fresh.
This time it began with shoes. Kate's shoes. Kate recently decided that she wants to become a girl guitar player who can wear really awesome shoes that say, "Don't mess with me". In the meantime her former best friend Marylin is trying to get in good with the cheerleader community of their school. Marylin and Kate used to be best friends, but after a nasty incident that happened to Kate the year before they've drifted apart. Now the two want to make up and be best buddies again, but it doesn't always work out that way. Kate's finding interests in some things, Marylin's finding interests in others, and ultimately the question is going to come down to whether or not they want to be themselves or the kinds of people other folks want them to be.
Okay. So in the first paragraph I said that this book stands on its own. And it does, insofar as the author catches you up on some of the details. There was one moment, however, where my confusion could probably be directly attributed to not having read the previous novel. Chapter Two begins (called here "the stars fall over") and I'm merrily reading to myself. I read and read and read, and it occurs to me that the book has taken an odd turn. Why does our main character Kate suddenly care what the cheerleaders think? Have I gotten confused about her personality? I flip back, reread, and veeeery slowly I come to the realization that the point of view has switched. This isn't a book that comes entirely from Kate's perspective. Suddenly at the start of the second chapter we're in Marylin's head. That took some adjusting. As a new reader I'm not going to instantly remember any character's name for at least a chapter or two. Felt like I needed a warning sign or something. A kid in a similar position would probably do what I did too.
Not that the dual p.o.v. isn't a big charm in this book. Often we'll read a losing-your-friend narrative and it comes entirely from the point of view of the loser, rather than the lose-ee. By switching between the two girls you get a more complex understanding of the situation. Plus I love the lack of a whine factor in this book. There is very little whining. Kate is losing Marylin as a friend and that hurts, but she doesn't spend this whole novel bending over backwards trying desperately to do whatever she can to win her friend back. It's funny but neither girl really wants to give up their friendship. But they're like an old married couple that's grown apart, had a big split, and want to find a way to make the relationship work again. Only they haven't a clue how. Where's the Emily Post book on making your old best friend your new best friend again? These gals would need it.
I don't want to call them one-liners, but Dowell also has a way of writing a sentence that punches you in the gut with the familiarity of a given situation. For example, there's the moment when Kate's at Marylin's sleepover, but she's not blending in with the other girls. "She was feeling left out by people she didn't even like. It was insulting." Been there. Had that experience. I bet a lot of other girls have too. I love the moment when Kate inwardly approves of Marylin not saying a word about her clunky boots. "In sixth grade she would have told Kate straight out how horrible she thought her boots were. Now she was trying to manipulate her. It was a big improvement, in Kate's opinion." Dowell loves a good descriptive sentence too. "She was skinny and pale, with the kind of milky white skin you could see the veins underneath, like the little blue highway lines on a map." Heck, Dowell's even good at identifying school types that all of us know/knew. Like the soccer player "with one of those outgoing personalities that made it impossible to know if she liked you or not, because she acted like everyone in the world was her best friend, and how could that be?"
There's a moment when Marylin realizes that she doesn't know where she fits anymore. The cheerleaders aren't quite right. "She wished she could fit in with Kate, and sometimes she still did, but Kate was changing shape, it seemed to Marylin, and it was hard to know exactly how to fit in with her anymore." And that, in a nutshell, is the fate of many a childhood friendship that has hit the tween and teen years. There aren't good guys or bad guys in these situations. Just kids who are growing up and figuring out that their personalities and interests are diverging. Nobody has quite tapped into that reality as well as Frances O'Roark Dowell either. This book looks like every other fluffy tween girly friendship book out there, but inside kids will find a thoughtful, reflective, and ultimately mature (not to mention funny) take on a difficult time. Looks like fluff. Has a brain.
Ages 9-14.
This time it began with shoes. Kate's shoes. Kate recently decided that she wants to become a girl guitar player who can wear really awesome shoes that say, "Don't mess with me". In the meantime her former best friend Marylin is trying to get in good with the cheerleader community of their school. Marylin and Kate used to be best friends, but after a nasty incident that happened to Kate the year before they've drifted apart. Now the two want to make up and be best buddies again, but it doesn't always work out that way. Kate's finding interests in some things, Marylin's finding interests in others, and ultimately the question is going to come down to whether or not they want to be themselves or the kinds of people other folks want them to be.
Okay. So in the first paragraph I said that this book stands on its own. And it does, insofar as the author catches you up on some of the details. There was one moment, however, where my confusion could probably be directly attributed to not having read the previous novel. Chapter Two begins (called here "the stars fall over") and I'm merrily reading to myself. I read and read and read, and it occurs to me that the book has taken an odd turn. Why does our main character Kate suddenly care what the cheerleaders think? Have I gotten confused about her personality? I flip back, reread, and veeeery slowly I come to the realization that the point of view has switched. This isn't a book that comes entirely from Kate's perspective. Suddenly at the start of the second chapter we're in Marylin's head. That took some adjusting. As a new reader I'm not going to instantly remember any character's name for at least a chapter or two. Felt like I needed a warning sign or something. A kid in a similar position would probably do what I did too.
Not that the dual p.o.v. isn't a big charm in this book. Often we'll read a losing-your-friend narrative and it comes entirely from the point of view of the loser, rather than the lose-ee. By switching between the two girls you get a more complex understanding of the situation. Plus I love the lack of a whine factor in this book. There is very little whining. Kate is losing Marylin as a friend and that hurts, but she doesn't spend this whole novel bending over backwards trying desperately to do whatever she can to win her friend back. It's funny but neither girl really wants to give up their friendship. But they're like an old married couple that's grown apart, had a big split, and want to find a way to make the relationship work again. Only they haven't a clue how. Where's the Emily Post book on making your old best friend your new best friend again? These gals would need it.
I don't want to call them one-liners, but Dowell also has a way of writing a sentence that punches you in the gut with the familiarity of a given situation. For example, there's the moment when Kate's at Marylin's sleepover, but she's not blending in with the other girls. "She was feeling left out by people she didn't even like. It was insulting." Been there. Had that experience. I bet a lot of other girls have too. I love the moment when Kate inwardly approves of Marylin not saying a word about her clunky boots. "In sixth grade she would have told Kate straight out how horrible she thought her boots were. Now she was trying to manipulate her. It was a big improvement, in Kate's opinion." Dowell loves a good descriptive sentence too. "She was skinny and pale, with the kind of milky white skin you could see the veins underneath, like the little blue highway lines on a map." Heck, Dowell's even good at identifying school types that all of us know/knew. Like the soccer player "with one of those outgoing personalities that made it impossible to know if she liked you or not, because she acted like everyone in the world was her best friend, and how could that be?"
There's a moment when Marylin realizes that she doesn't know where she fits anymore. The cheerleaders aren't quite right. "She wished she could fit in with Kate, and sometimes she still did, but Kate was changing shape, it seemed to Marylin, and it was hard to know exactly how to fit in with her anymore." And that, in a nutshell, is the fate of many a childhood friendship that has hit the tween and teen years. There aren't good guys or bad guys in these situations. Just kids who are growing up and figuring out that their personalities and interests are diverging. Nobody has quite tapped into that reality as well as Frances O'Roark Dowell either. This book looks like every other fluffy tween girly friendship book out there, but inside kids will find a thoughtful, reflective, and ultimately mature (not to mention funny) take on a difficult time. Looks like fluff. Has a brain.
Ages 9-14.
April 20, 2023
I wish I could give it 3 and a half stars. It was a really nice book but it got confusing at some points because it switched from one persons thoughts/view to another persons thoughts/view. It was cool that it switched so we could see how other people in the story view things and what they thought about. I wish that it made you aware though by saying something before the writing like this for example "Here is Kate's thoughts now" or something like that so you know it's changing from one person's view to another person's. For example you would be reading how Kate feels about music or something and then it will start talking about whatever Rhetta is thinking about.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 8, 2011
Adolescence sucks. Plain and simple. And I hate that verb.
Let us say adolescence is difficult because children change in a way that challenges all the certainties that had made childhood such a pleasure.
Your best friend across the street has become a superficial little cheerleader who won't be seen talking to you.
That sucks. Or let us say it is difficult. But then again, you are wearing combat boots and acting weird. What's a girl to do?
The Kind of Friends We Used to Be traces the journey of two seventh-grade girls who were once close friends but have grown apart.
There's no going back, but there is a finding of stability and a moving on that makes being friends in a new way possible.
Growing up is difficult because it combines what was once simple and beautiful with what is complicated and painful to create an individual who must find away without any of the old certainties. There is only the memory of what was good. But if you take that memory and insist on life, then life is good.
I read this book today for a student who must create an "authentic response to literature" by Friday. I am glad she chose this book. She broadened my view of the world.
Let us say adolescence is difficult because children change in a way that challenges all the certainties that had made childhood such a pleasure.
Your best friend across the street has become a superficial little cheerleader who won't be seen talking to you.
That sucks. Or let us say it is difficult. But then again, you are wearing combat boots and acting weird. What's a girl to do?
The Kind of Friends We Used to Be traces the journey of two seventh-grade girls who were once close friends but have grown apart.
There's no going back, but there is a finding of stability and a moving on that makes being friends in a new way possible.
Growing up is difficult because it combines what was once simple and beautiful with what is complicated and painful to create an individual who must find away without any of the old certainties. There is only the memory of what was good. But if you take that memory and insist on life, then life is good.
I read this book today for a student who must create an "authentic response to literature" by Friday. I am glad she chose this book. She broadened my view of the world.
May 28, 2009
One of my favorite things about this book was the way Rhetta's parents were portrayed. Reverend and Mrs. Mayes were kind, loving, accepting, and fun. You don't often see that kind of portrayal of Christians in literature these days. It was nice. My favorite quote from the book came from Rhetta's dad, speaking to Marylin, who is embarrassed by the fact that her parents are divorced: "Everybody's broken, sweetie. God helps us get put back together." Excellent.
I like Frances O'Roark Dowell more and more all the time. Shooting the Moon was terrific, and now this. I confess, I haven't read The Secret Language of Girls, and maybe I should go back and read it now, but my opinion will be marred by the fact that I already know Flannery and Marylin treated Kate like garbage for a while. But I enjoyed getting to know these characters. All of them. And Dowell reminded me to know better than to pre-judge those kids dressed in black with dark eyeliner and clunky boots. There just might be a Kate in there, for all I know.
Terrific read for middle school girls.
I like Frances O'Roark Dowell more and more all the time. Shooting the Moon was terrific, and now this. I confess, I haven't read The Secret Language of Girls, and maybe I should go back and read it now, but my opinion will be marred by the fact that I already know Flannery and Marylin treated Kate like garbage for a while. But I enjoyed getting to know these characters. All of them. And Dowell reminded me to know better than to pre-judge those kids dressed in black with dark eyeliner and clunky boots. There just might be a Kate in there, for all I know.
Terrific read for middle school girls.
September 8, 2009
When I was in 9th grade, my childhood best friend signed my yearbook "To a girl I used to be best friends with." It's not like I carry this hurt around or anything, but I still remember the shock of seeing it in writing, even though I knew it was true.
This book is kinda like that. Two girls in middle school just don't have anything in common anymore, and maybe all they really had in common was living in the same neighborhood.
The girls kinda think in ways that is too perceptive than most middle schoolers, BUT I think middle school girls will read this the same way I read books about "smart women foolish choices" - they hope to find themselves in there somewhere, and figure themselves out. Those girls will say something to them that will resonate.
This is a sequel, but I hadn't read "The Secret Language of Girls" and didn't miss the background story at all.
This book is kinda like that. Two girls in middle school just don't have anything in common anymore, and maybe all they really had in common was living in the same neighborhood.
The girls kinda think in ways that is too perceptive than most middle schoolers, BUT I think middle school girls will read this the same way I read books about "smart women foolish choices" - they hope to find themselves in there somewhere, and figure themselves out. Those girls will say something to them that will resonate.
This is a sequel, but I hadn't read "The Secret Language of Girls" and didn't miss the background story at all.
September 19, 2015
This book was about 2 girls and how the being of 7th grad was like for them. Marilyn is the cheerleader shes popular and all around liked. Then there's Kate she loves guitar and shes really into music.In the story the 2 girls go through a lot as they try to stay friends. Marilyn dealing with the other cheerleaders. Kate with Her friends.
I did not in joy this book. I especially did not like Marilyn. in this book she acts like shes better then every one else.What she thought really bothered me oh I can't be friends with her because the foot ball players don't know her.I feel that there was really nothing happening init.I think it was boring and kind of a let down after the first book.But,I did think the ending was cute. Over all this is not one of my favorites.
I did not in joy this book. I especially did not like Marilyn. in this book she acts like shes better then every one else.What she thought really bothered me oh I can't be friends with her because the foot ball players don't know her.I feel that there was really nothing happening init.I think it was boring and kind of a let down after the first book.But,I did think the ending was cute. Over all this is not one of my favorites.
Read
September 27, 2011Well,except for last year when thay weren't friends anymore.... And except for this year when thay both want to be friends again,but just dont know how. But the thing is, even as thay are tring to fix their broken friendship , thay are becoming more and more unlike.And that's becoming harder and harder to deal with. it would make things a hole lot simpler if kate would just take some of Marylin's fashon advice.what's with the guitar? And why on Earth is cheerleading so imporant to Marylin? she won't even stand up to Mazie, the meanest ceerleader ever.with the divide that is growing between them, is there any hope that Kate and Marylin can evfer be friends again?
September 26, 2016
This book was about two friends that drifted apart because they are from two different worlds. Marylin is a cheerleader in the popular group. Kate is an outsider no one never really notices her. Marylin wishes that Kate would fit in with her and her friends.Kate doesn't like any of them because Kate feels like they are spoiled.Both of them want to stay friends but its harder than ever to stay friends in middle school because that were you drift apart from your friends and notice you really are.
April 8, 2011
So far one girl is in love with a boy, who writes music. And she likes his music and he likes her music. So cant wait to get back to that and like she like wants to play guitar and she wears big black boots to school, her friend dos not like her boots. And she wears like cute little three year old kind of clothing.( her friend the one that dos not like the boy.)
January 30, 2011
I think it was better than the first one. Can't wait for the third!!
March 21, 2024
Entertaining, but who knew a middle-grade book when you're in 10th grade could make you feel so single?
August 3, 2021
Dude.
The mEMORIES.
It was published in 2009!
2009! Can you believe that? 9 years ago. Geez Louise. The first time I read that was when I was 9 years old.
We had daily silent reading times right after lunch recess then with books borrowed (usually) from our teacher’s mini-library. This was the first book I picked out in 4th grade and lordy did I enjoy this. Obviously, I picked it out because of that cool cover (it brings back all the child summer vibes now :’0), but I still ended up enjoying the book a good deal. Pft as if I knew this was a sequel to the other book. And it’s not like I really cared about reading books in chronological order at that time (my reading experience was SPOILED because of that habit) so I just read it. I went searching for the first book the following week or so and never found it. Maybe the teacher just didn’t have it. Maybe some other kid always picked the book up before my turn. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I got it from the public library a while after
These books were always a favorite of mine because o m g it was about middle school!!! Middle school was always that remote place of my childhood dreams with the cliche popular crowds, cheerleading, football, lockers, moving classes, and *gasp* dating. I anticipated it as much as I feared it. Looking back now, however, high school was a much more fun shift that I should’ve freaked out about more. Maybe it was because I knew very few of the people at my high school whereas most of my elementary class went with me to the same middle school. Or the fact that my high school is a lot shadier than my pretty top notch public middle school (for the city). Anyways, middle school was that curious topic that never strayed too far from mind, especially approaching my last year of elementary.
The book was about *7th graders*. The middle of the middle! How much better could it get? Close enough to feel more relatable, but far enough so they actually know how to sail the seas of the school. Hell yes.
The beginning of the book starts out with a sleepover including the unpopular childhood friend and a bunch of popular (but meAN and lAME) ‘friends’. Yes. I live my unlived LIFE through books! Everything that I’ve always wanted and never could have are HERE to feed my hungry mind. I was never allowed to sleepover at a friend’s place as long as I lived under my parents’ roof. Too bad. But gossiping with other girls through the evening/night and doing those basic things like painting nails (wasn’t allowed that either) or doing hair (my hair wasn’t of interest to them and my friends’ hair were already done by their parents) or spin the bottle/truth or dare (happened in the first book and obviously that never happened either). My little heart yearned for these things so badly.
It rolls through the book with unexpected friendships, a disregarded one, music, and, of courseee, boys! Squeal! Most of these struck close to my heart, more so as I grew up and reread this book.
Forgotten friendships were especially big for me during 4th grade, a rougher patch, after my close friends transferred schools or moved houses. I was left with my longer term friend that I didn’t really hang out with and was friends with the popular kids (although I don’t think she was quite part of the popular crowd herself). She and another friend (who would constantly shift between the popular crowd and others like mee) would form our trio group, but I was always the third wheeler, left out pretty often as they paired together first. We grew past that rough patch, but it left me really lonely. Not to mention the friendships that would weaken as we grew up and found new people we liked better. Still happens, still breaks my heart every time.
Unexpected friendships would come in 5th grade, middle school, and high school. I didn’t appreciate it as much during the time I first read the book, but I adore the style of Flannery and Rhetta. They have an edgier look and THE GUITAR! Super badass accompanied by the boots. Rockers became more attractive to me during high school when I also got my first pair of boots that weren’t just fuzzy warm winter ones (similar to uggs). I don’t play the guitar, too bad, but drifted to a more edgy style (as much as I could with my parents’ strict decisions of what I could wear). Friends that would sometimes be closer to the popular crowd, the ‘nobodies’ (if we stick to cliches), and the ‘bad news’ people. The ones that would make me feel happy again, as opposed to the ones I should’ve stuck closer to.
Music is something that’s very very close to my heart because why would I do without it? I went through a bunch of phases of country, pop, hip-hop, rap, movie soundtracks, kid music from stuff like Disney shows and movies, kpop, alternative, rock, metal, indie, edm, older music, etc. Music is what defines me. All the meaningful lyrics and jams that I chill or bop to. The place of comfort I’d go to seek solace after emotional outbursts of puberty. The place I hide behind when I don’t want to show my true feelings or interact with others. A lot of what goes through my mind consists of song lyrics or tunes or memories brought by music. Nostalgia. Lots of things are related to music for me and I adore it. During the time of first reading it, I probably wouldn’t have appreciated the music they enjoyed and played as much as I would now that my music taste has expanded and matured. Guitars are soo cool. Radio stations are underrated now, but they, also, are the jams.
Boys? God, don’t remind me. Growing up, there’s an ever growing pressure of finding some guy to spend the rest of my life with or at least to hold the position of a boyfriend. Even if you’re not straight. The hormones trigger this intense interest with boys (or most of the time the opposite gender) and all that they do. Matthew, was it? Jeepers, hE is hOT. Is it wrong that I have a thing for poetic musical souls? The ones that don’t obsess over their appearance (namely hair) as much or flaunt their muscles? Nevermind that he’s younger than me. He sounds much more mature than the boys I’m surrounded by daily. Okay, scratch that. More mature than my middle schooler peers ever were. And like half of the boys surrounding me in my classes. Guitar playing? Talent. Writing songs? TALENT. Concerts? TALENG TNEKFJEKKD. He’s kind hearted and deep and just slightly filled with angst (hahahahahahah iWish). He has that image and personality that I love. I’m reminded by people like Luka from Miraculous Ladybug and Eden, also known as Jonathon Ng (you should go check him out if you haven’t already). Attractionnnnn. (He made a cool cover of Billie Jean if you need any recommendations)
Cheerleaders? Omg tell me about it, I’ve always wanted to be one, but the actual cheerleaders are intimidating as they are....not the type of people I’d prefer to hang out with. And the skirts are so short so no.
Student government? YES MARYLIN YOU ARE STANDING UP FOR YOURSELF. THIS GIRL IS GROWING HER BACKBONE ALONG WOTH THE ADORABLE BY DORKY SOON TO BE BOYFRIEND, BENJAMIN. Not my type, but still cute.
Flannery and Rhetta, I love you guys so so much. You deserve so much more (at least during this book). Your badassery will be rewarded.
And so the end, classic holiday spirits, (hey, look it’s a little more than a day after Christmas rn!) which is all cozy and sweet and family and ugh my heart is melting. Matthew and Flannery and Kate and Petey (we need more Petey) and Marylin coming out like that really took the spot for me. So sweet. God.
Am I done? Not quite.
So recap
After going through a slightly disturbing book about a psycho kid who shoots up his school, I move to this junior fiction book of sweet memories.
I had no shame going into the children’s section to retrieve this book.
So many memories were revived through these books and my heart aches with the memories that are no longer present and the childhood bliss of endless summer days. Now stress creeps in and it is not pretty. Nostalgia is very real.
These books remind me of that series by Lauren Myracle or something that has books about a girl Winnie, each book documenting a different year of her life from years 10 to 14. I’m too old for that now, but the aching heart still remains with tears. My life didn’t come out exactly how I wanted like in those books and movies, but nevertheless, perfect. #singlepringlelife
The only reason I docked a star was because at times, the characters seemed to be too young to be 12 years old. The way the author wrote of their thoughts or actions seemed to young to be authentic. I was 12 and tbh, I felt my thoughts were much more mature and complex than those shown here. Oh and the heavy amount of cliches that I love but hate. Sometimes irrelevant.
But otherwise.
Nothing but love and tears.
Bittersweet.
The mEMORIES.
It was published in 2009!
2009! Can you believe that? 9 years ago. Geez Louise. The first time I read that was when I was 9 years old.
We had daily silent reading times right after lunch recess then with books borrowed (usually) from our teacher’s mini-library. This was the first book I picked out in 4th grade and lordy did I enjoy this. Obviously, I picked it out because of that cool cover (it brings back all the child summer vibes now :’0), but I still ended up enjoying the book a good deal. Pft as if I knew this was a sequel to the other book. And it’s not like I really cared about reading books in chronological order at that time (my reading experience was SPOILED because of that habit) so I just read it. I went searching for the first book the following week or so and never found it. Maybe the teacher just didn’t have it. Maybe some other kid always picked the book up before my turn. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I got it from the public library a while after
These books were always a favorite of mine because o m g it was about middle school!!! Middle school was always that remote place of my childhood dreams with the cliche popular crowds, cheerleading, football, lockers, moving classes, and *gasp* dating. I anticipated it as much as I feared it. Looking back now, however, high school was a much more fun shift that I should’ve freaked out about more. Maybe it was because I knew very few of the people at my high school whereas most of my elementary class went with me to the same middle school. Or the fact that my high school is a lot shadier than my pretty top notch public middle school (for the city). Anyways, middle school was that curious topic that never strayed too far from mind, especially approaching my last year of elementary.
The book was about *7th graders*. The middle of the middle! How much better could it get? Close enough to feel more relatable, but far enough so they actually know how to sail the seas of the school. Hell yes.
The beginning of the book starts out with a sleepover including the unpopular childhood friend and a bunch of popular (but meAN and lAME) ‘friends’. Yes. I live my unlived LIFE through books! Everything that I’ve always wanted and never could have are HERE to feed my hungry mind. I was never allowed to sleepover at a friend’s place as long as I lived under my parents’ roof. Too bad. But gossiping with other girls through the evening/night and doing those basic things like painting nails (wasn’t allowed that either) or doing hair (my hair wasn’t of interest to them and my friends’ hair were already done by their parents) or spin the bottle/truth or dare (happened in the first book and obviously that never happened either). My little heart yearned for these things so badly.
It rolls through the book with unexpected friendships, a disregarded one, music, and, of courseee, boys! Squeal! Most of these struck close to my heart, more so as I grew up and reread this book.
Forgotten friendships were especially big for me during 4th grade, a rougher patch, after my close friends transferred schools or moved houses. I was left with my longer term friend that I didn’t really hang out with and was friends with the popular kids (although I don’t think she was quite part of the popular crowd herself). She and another friend (who would constantly shift between the popular crowd and others like mee) would form our trio group, but I was always the third wheeler, left out pretty often as they paired together first. We grew past that rough patch, but it left me really lonely. Not to mention the friendships that would weaken as we grew up and found new people we liked better. Still happens, still breaks my heart every time.
Unexpected friendships would come in 5th grade, middle school, and high school. I didn’t appreciate it as much during the time I first read the book, but I adore the style of Flannery and Rhetta. They have an edgier look and THE GUITAR! Super badass accompanied by the boots. Rockers became more attractive to me during high school when I also got my first pair of boots that weren’t just fuzzy warm winter ones (similar to uggs). I don’t play the guitar, too bad, but drifted to a more edgy style (as much as I could with my parents’ strict decisions of what I could wear). Friends that would sometimes be closer to the popular crowd, the ‘nobodies’ (if we stick to cliches), and the ‘bad news’ people. The ones that would make me feel happy again, as opposed to the ones I should’ve stuck closer to.
Music is something that’s very very close to my heart because why would I do without it? I went through a bunch of phases of country, pop, hip-hop, rap, movie soundtracks, kid music from stuff like Disney shows and movies, kpop, alternative, rock, metal, indie, edm, older music, etc. Music is what defines me. All the meaningful lyrics and jams that I chill or bop to. The place of comfort I’d go to seek solace after emotional outbursts of puberty. The place I hide behind when I don’t want to show my true feelings or interact with others. A lot of what goes through my mind consists of song lyrics or tunes or memories brought by music. Nostalgia. Lots of things are related to music for me and I adore it. During the time of first reading it, I probably wouldn’t have appreciated the music they enjoyed and played as much as I would now that my music taste has expanded and matured. Guitars are soo cool. Radio stations are underrated now, but they, also, are the jams.
Boys? God, don’t remind me. Growing up, there’s an ever growing pressure of finding some guy to spend the rest of my life with or at least to hold the position of a boyfriend. Even if you’re not straight. The hormones trigger this intense interest with boys (or most of the time the opposite gender) and all that they do. Matthew, was it? Jeepers, hE is hOT. Is it wrong that I have a thing for poetic musical souls? The ones that don’t obsess over their appearance (namely hair) as much or flaunt their muscles? Nevermind that he’s younger than me. He sounds much more mature than the boys I’m surrounded by daily. Okay, scratch that. More mature than my middle schooler peers ever were. And like half of the boys surrounding me in my classes. Guitar playing? Talent. Writing songs? TALENT. Concerts? TALENG TNEKFJEKKD. He’s kind hearted and deep and just slightly filled with angst (hahahahahahah iWish). He has that image and personality that I love. I’m reminded by people like Luka from Miraculous Ladybug and Eden, also known as Jonathon Ng (you should go check him out if you haven’t already). Attractionnnnn. (He made a cool cover of Billie Jean if you need any recommendations)
Cheerleaders? Omg tell me about it, I’ve always wanted to be one, but the actual cheerleaders are intimidating as they are....not the type of people I’d prefer to hang out with. And the skirts are so short so no.
Student government? YES MARYLIN YOU ARE STANDING UP FOR YOURSELF. THIS GIRL IS GROWING HER BACKBONE ALONG WOTH THE ADORABLE BY DORKY SOON TO BE BOYFRIEND, BENJAMIN. Not my type, but still cute.
Flannery and Rhetta, I love you guys so so much. You deserve so much more (at least during this book). Your badassery will be rewarded.
And so the end, classic holiday spirits, (hey, look it’s a little more than a day after Christmas rn!) which is all cozy and sweet and family and ugh my heart is melting. Matthew and Flannery and Kate and Petey (we need more Petey) and Marylin coming out like that really took the spot for me. So sweet. God.
Am I done? Not quite.
So recap
After going through a slightly disturbing book about a psycho kid who shoots up his school, I move to this junior fiction book of sweet memories.
I had no shame going into the children’s section to retrieve this book.
So many memories were revived through these books and my heart aches with the memories that are no longer present and the childhood bliss of endless summer days. Now stress creeps in and it is not pretty. Nostalgia is very real.
These books remind me of that series by Lauren Myracle or something that has books about a girl Winnie, each book documenting a different year of her life from years 10 to 14. I’m too old for that now, but the aching heart still remains with tears. My life didn’t come out exactly how I wanted like in those books and movies, but nevertheless, perfect. #singlepringlelife
The only reason I docked a star was because at times, the characters seemed to be too young to be 12 years old. The way the author wrote of their thoughts or actions seemed to young to be authentic. I was 12 and tbh, I felt my thoughts were much more mature and complex than those shown here. Oh and the heavy amount of cliches that I love but hate. Sometimes irrelevant.
But otherwise.
Nothing but love and tears.
Bittersweet.
Read
December 31, 2020Cross-posted from my blog where there's more information on where I got my copy and links and everything.
Back in 2017, I read the first book in this series and I didn’t really like it. I wasn’t really planning on reading any more of this series, but I saw this at a thrift sale and it was bag day so it was super cheap and I was curious. I’m kind of annoyed at myself for being curious, lol.
This was weird. It’s really dated in a really weird way. Like this doesn’t seem 2009 dated, it seems like 1995 dated. It’s like they took a book set in 1995 and threw in a few references to Harry Potter and iPods and, boom, that’s a modern book. Several of the characters are into music, but they’re only into music from the 80s. And nobody sees this as weird for twelve-year-olds in 2009.
Also why does the last chapter switch to present tense when none of the others have been? This was a thing in the first book, too, and I don’t get it.
And I just find it odd how much this book doesn’t seem to actually resolve things. I really cannot figure out what the plot is in this book, and it just kind of… stops, at the end. None of the things mentioned in the summary are dealt with – they’re just ignored, mostly.
This is series is so odd. I’m not going to be keeping this, but I do really want the third book for some reason. How is there a third book in this series???? But I want to know how things end!
Representation: None.
Content warnings: The author kind of hates fat people, or at least that’s how it comes off. The only fat character in the book only exists solely to be humilated, and so that Kate’s friend/crush Matthew can look better to Kate. She’s literally never mentioned besides the scene where Kate talks about how mean she is, and she’s humilated. Also, Kate magically just knows her weight. Which is said explicitly. Thanks for that shame toward fat kids, book.
When Marylin runs for student government, one of her campaign points is basically “maybe help some handicapped kids, I dunno”, and the book uses “handicapped”, not me. But like only one of those kids ever gets a name and he doesn’t get a voice or dialogue or anything. She cares about him about as much as she cares about the mushy bananas in the cafeteria.
There’s also a use of the phrase “find your tribe” and I’m going to link to a couple things, like this, and this and then point out that there is not a single kid who is not white in this book. There’s other fatmisic language than just that character, and also aromisic language.
Back in 2017, I read the first book in this series and I didn’t really like it. I wasn’t really planning on reading any more of this series, but I saw this at a thrift sale and it was bag day so it was super cheap and I was curious. I’m kind of annoyed at myself for being curious, lol.
This was weird. It’s really dated in a really weird way. Like this doesn’t seem 2009 dated, it seems like 1995 dated. It’s like they took a book set in 1995 and threw in a few references to Harry Potter and iPods and, boom, that’s a modern book. Several of the characters are into music, but they’re only into music from the 80s. And nobody sees this as weird for twelve-year-olds in 2009.
Also why does the last chapter switch to present tense when none of the others have been? This was a thing in the first book, too, and I don’t get it.
And I just find it odd how much this book doesn’t seem to actually resolve things. I really cannot figure out what the plot is in this book, and it just kind of… stops, at the end. None of the things mentioned in the summary are dealt with – they’re just ignored, mostly.
This is series is so odd. I’m not going to be keeping this, but I do really want the third book for some reason. How is there a third book in this series???? But I want to know how things end!
Representation: None.
Content warnings: The author kind of hates fat people, or at least that’s how it comes off. The only fat character in the book only exists solely to be humilated, and so that Kate’s friend/crush Matthew can look better to Kate. She’s literally never mentioned besides the scene where Kate talks about how mean she is, and she’s humilated. Also, Kate magically just knows her weight. Which is said explicitly. Thanks for that shame toward fat kids, book.
When Marylin runs for student government, one of her campaign points is basically “maybe help some handicapped kids, I dunno”, and the book uses “handicapped”, not me. But like only one of those kids ever gets a name and he doesn’t get a voice or dialogue or anything. She cares about him about as much as she cares about the mushy bananas in the cafeteria.
There’s also a use of the phrase “find your tribe” and I’m going to link to a couple things, like this, and this and then point out that there is not a single kid who is not white in this book. There’s other fatmisic language than just that character, and also aromisic language.
May 18, 2017
Kate is the main character and she is very unique. The main conflict of this story was that Kate and her friend Marilyn weren’t as close as the used to be which is why the book is called The Kind of Friends we Used to be by Frances O’Roark Dowell. Marilyn became a cheerleader and Kate became a girl that was obsessed with becoming a guitar player. Kate ended up finding a few new friends named Matthew and Lorna. Matthew become her crush but they never ended up dating, even though Marylin and Kate weren’t friends they still talked every now and then. The theme of this story was that you shouldn’t judge people by how they act or look in any way, Kate also learned that a lot of people change throughout the years.
“The Kind of Friends we Used” to be does not fit into the fantasy genre because it had nothing to do with magical animals or anything that isn’t real/going to happen. This book was more realistic fiction because this genre is something that could happen but hasn’t yet. For example, my research says, “In homeroom, roll was taken, emergency were given a bulletin to take home to their parents.” (Seventh Grade by Gary Soto).Another piece of evidence is, “Her house, the one whose porch light burned yellow night and day in any weather.” (Oranges,Soto) Another way I know my book is realistic fiction is because most of these genres have kids in them. It says, “I did not do this with the permission of my parents.” This sentence shows that it has kids because it states parents in the sentence. Realistic fiction also has some type of adult part of the book. An example is, “It’s our bad luck to have teachers in this world.” (Because of Mr.Terupt, Buyea)
I enjoyed this book because it was really clear, and I could actually understand. People that really enjoy drama and a little bit of romance would really enjoy this book. So if you are looking for a great book to read, pick up The Kind of Friends we Used to be by Frances O’Roark Dowell and start reading today.
“The Kind of Friends we Used” to be does not fit into the fantasy genre because it had nothing to do with magical animals or anything that isn’t real/going to happen. This book was more realistic fiction because this genre is something that could happen but hasn’t yet. For example, my research says, “In homeroom, roll was taken, emergency were given a bulletin to take home to their parents.” (Seventh Grade by Gary Soto).Another piece of evidence is, “Her house, the one whose porch light burned yellow night and day in any weather.” (Oranges,Soto) Another way I know my book is realistic fiction is because most of these genres have kids in them. It says, “I did not do this with the permission of my parents.” This sentence shows that it has kids because it states parents in the sentence. Realistic fiction also has some type of adult part of the book. An example is, “It’s our bad luck to have teachers in this world.” (Because of Mr.Terupt, Buyea)
I enjoyed this book because it was really clear, and I could actually understand. People that really enjoy drama and a little bit of romance would really enjoy this book. So if you are looking for a great book to read, pick up The Kind of Friends we Used to be by Frances O’Roark Dowell and start reading today.
December 12, 2024
This book has been in my family's house for as long as I could remember. My sister use to have this book in her room before it was passed down to me. My first time reading it was in 5th grade and I read it in a few short days. Recently I went home to my parents house and saw the book sitting on a shelf in my room. I knew I had to re-read it for my reading log.
This book follows two life long best friends by the name Kate and Marylin. They are transitioning from middle school to high school, yet during this time their friendship is challenged. They both are dealing with internal personal struggles, such as body image, as well as external personal struggles, such as hobbies, interests, and of course fashion. It all starts with Kate buying black boots, playing guitar, and songwriting. She's more on the edgier side. While Marylin starts to become more on the preppier side by joining cheer and focusing on school and her grades. These differences causes jealousy and other issues in their friendship that you will just have to learn yourself while reading! The story becomes a way of finding a middle ground and rekindling a now distant friendship. Both girls learn valuable lessons about each other and themselves. They learn how to evolve and stay friends despise their differences, because truly, thats just how life goes! People and things will always be changing with or without you.
I think this book is important because of its themes of identity and change. Because although it may be painful, change is inevitable. I rated this book 5/5 because like others, I too can relate to this story. I grew up with a childhood best friend I was attached to at the hip. It wasn't until middle school when we started growing apart due to friend groups and hobbies. However, we understood that no matter what, through our differences, we were still the same people who loved each other deep down.
This book follows two life long best friends by the name Kate and Marylin. They are transitioning from middle school to high school, yet during this time their friendship is challenged. They both are dealing with internal personal struggles, such as body image, as well as external personal struggles, such as hobbies, interests, and of course fashion. It all starts with Kate buying black boots, playing guitar, and songwriting. She's more on the edgier side. While Marylin starts to become more on the preppier side by joining cheer and focusing on school and her grades. These differences causes jealousy and other issues in their friendship that you will just have to learn yourself while reading! The story becomes a way of finding a middle ground and rekindling a now distant friendship. Both girls learn valuable lessons about each other and themselves. They learn how to evolve and stay friends despise their differences, because truly, thats just how life goes! People and things will always be changing with or without you.
I think this book is important because of its themes of identity and change. Because although it may be painful, change is inevitable. I rated this book 5/5 because like others, I too can relate to this story. I grew up with a childhood best friend I was attached to at the hip. It wasn't until middle school when we started growing apart due to friend groups and hobbies. However, we understood that no matter what, through our differences, we were still the same people who loved each other deep down.
October 20, 2017
The book "The Kind Of Friends We Used To Be" by Frances O'roark Dowell is a really good book if you are looking to read a book that you can relate to with your problems or situations. It takes place at school mostly in the fall time, starting seventh grade. It switches between Kate and Marylin's point of view. It's about Kate, Marylin, Matthew, Mazie and her cheerleader friends, and Flannery. Kate and Marylin start as best friends but as the new school year starts, they drift away from each other. They start taking interest in totally different things. Kate likes writing music and playing guitars and Marylin is a cheerleader.Kate is friends with the people who are in her writing club, which are looked at as the weird kids, and Marylin is friends with the popular cheerleaders. I related to it so much because of how they drifted apart, I have had a situation like that so it was a little hard for me to read. But you never knew what would happen next because Kate and Marylin talked here and there but they were never the same as they were before the start of seventh grade. I liked this book because of how much I could relate to it and so you could you so I suggest you read this book!
March 27, 2019
Maryline and Kate used to be best friends, and still want to be, but they have both changed. They are both trying to figure out who they are and are now realizing that they are the exact opposite. Maryline is a middle school cheerleader and loves fashion and all things magical! In Kate’s opinion, she cares too much about what other people think. Kate on the other hand, loves to play guitar and write poetry. Maryline just wants Kate to care more about her appearance. But as the story goes on, they meet people who help the friends grow closer together once again!
This is a great book that shows what friendships are really like! You fall in love with the characters and their personalities. This book and the characters are funny, loving and relatable. The author did a great job on switching back and forth between the perspectives of the 2 friends, which helps you to understand the characters, and what they are going through, more. This helps you to connect with the characters more personally. Overall a great and well written book!
This is a great book that shows what friendships are really like! You fall in love with the characters and their personalities. This book and the characters are funny, loving and relatable. The author did a great job on switching back and forth between the perspectives of the 2 friends, which helps you to understand the characters, and what they are going through, more. This helps you to connect with the characters more personally. Overall a great and well written book!
June 5, 2017
I have not read the first book in this trilogy, so perhaps the story would've been more enjoyable if I had.
The book is a very quick read about two girls in middle school who used to be friends but are growing apart. There are a lot of stereotypes in the book (the goth girl, the smart one, the cheerleaders, the football jocks, the unlikely friend, etc.) but the author actually breaks some of the stereotypes and uses them as a means of teaching that not everyone is always who they appear to be on the outside. For example, the goth girl, Rhetta, has a pastor father, enjoys drawing cute fairies, and is kind and supportive towards one of the main characters, Marilyn.
Late elementary school (5th grade) girls would most likely enjoy reading this book, anyone older than that would probably find themselves bored and annoyed with all of the underdeveloped characters and small middle school dramas that occur.
The book is a very quick read about two girls in middle school who used to be friends but are growing apart. There are a lot of stereotypes in the book (the goth girl, the smart one, the cheerleaders, the football jocks, the unlikely friend, etc.) but the author actually breaks some of the stereotypes and uses them as a means of teaching that not everyone is always who they appear to be on the outside. For example, the goth girl, Rhetta, has a pastor father, enjoys drawing cute fairies, and is kind and supportive towards one of the main characters, Marilyn.
Late elementary school (5th grade) girls would most likely enjoy reading this book, anyone older than that would probably find themselves bored and annoyed with all of the underdeveloped characters and small middle school dramas that occur.
February 27, 2021
Wonderful friendship story told from alternating viewpoints. Kate and Marylin used to be best friends, but as they get further into junior high, they drift apart. What I liked about this book is that it doesn't promise they'll be BFFs again--they still care about each other, but maybe they're just too different. Also, although Marylin is a pretty cheerleader, the author doesn't hold that against her, so to speak. In many MG novels, any pretty girl is automatically suspicious (vain, mean, stupid, etc.). Marylin may be conventional in her thinking and behavior *now*, but she's looking to break free and think more independently. A really lovely coming-of-age novel.
January 5, 2022
I enjoyed myself reading this book. It’s very relatable for a preteen girl.
It described how it feels to drift away from a friend. I like how Kate does not care what anybody thinks and has her mind set on what she wants to be.
However, I don’t like how Marylin thinks that if her friends don’t dress a certain way, they need to be changed.
When she was hanging out with Kate, she thought she needed a makeover! Or with Rhetta, when she said to herself that she also needed a makeover. And only because they don’t dress the way she does. There is not much character development for her.
But over all the book was pretty good!
It described how it feels to drift away from a friend. I like how Kate does not care what anybody thinks and has her mind set on what she wants to be.
However, I don’t like how Marylin thinks that if her friends don’t dress a certain way, they need to be changed.
When she was hanging out with Kate, she thought she needed a makeover! Or with Rhetta, when she said to herself that she also needed a makeover. And only because they don’t dress the way she does. There is not much character development for her.
But over all the book was pretty good!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Read
August 8, 2024I read this when I was a young girl and it still pops into my head as an adult. I still own it and it has survived multiple moves, even across the country. I think I read this in 2010 but idk. I got it at a book fair and had no idea it was a triology… maybe I need to read all 3 again. Little me would have been so happy to know that.
It popped into my head today thinking about the stages of my friendship with someone I love dearly. Physical distance keeps us from seeing each other and emotional distance has grown. I just randomly thought, “Oh the kind of friends we used to be… wait isn’t that the book on my shelf?” and started reminiscing on this book. I wish I could read it again for the first time. ❤️
It pulls on my heart strings reading reviews from that time frame.
It popped into my head today thinking about the stages of my friendship with someone I love dearly. Physical distance keeps us from seeing each other and emotional distance has grown. I just randomly thought, “Oh the kind of friends we used to be… wait isn’t that the book on my shelf?” and started reminiscing on this book. I wish I could read it again for the first time. ❤️
It pulls on my heart strings reading reviews from that time frame.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 355 reviews