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Ball Games #3
New Balls Please
Dora Evans is annoyed that her family are ignoring her while she’s in bed ill. To teach them what life would be like without her she absconds on a weeks break to learn how to play tennis. Partner Tim has had enough of Dora’s behaviour and to the surprise of daughter Camille and son Tyler, refuses to bring her home.
As the week goes on and tempers settle, Dora decides to read up on being a more submissive housewife and how to allow Tim to make the choices. In the meantime, Tim reads Dora’s Alpha books to see what her ideal man would be.
When Tim does collect his wife the Alpha meets the Submissive woman. Will they continue to make a great team or is this match about to end?
One way or another Tim’s going to need New Balls Please.
As the week goes on and tempers settle, Dora decides to read up on being a more submissive housewife and how to allow Tim to make the choices. In the meantime, Tim reads Dora’s Alpha books to see what her ideal man would be.
When Tim does collect his wife the Alpha meets the Submissive woman. Will they continue to make a great team or is this match about to end?
One way or another Tim’s going to need New Balls Please.
ebook
First published April 26, 2016
11 people are currently reading
138 people want to read
About the author
Andie M. Long
109 books1,079 followersAndie M. Long is the author of multiple titles including the popular Supernatural Dating Agency series.
When not writing, or editing for other authors, she spends her time drinking coffee and eating far too many Toblerones. She adores her whippet, Bella, and is tormented frequently by her OH and her teenage son.
She adores the book community, chatting with likeminded people who don't roll their eyes when she talks books, unlike the OH and teenage son...
Sign up to Andie's weekly newsletter here: http://www.subscribepage.com/f8v2u5 and get a FREE copy of DATING SUCKS. The short story prequel to The Vampire wants a Wife - EXCLUSIVE to subscribers.
When not writing, or editing for other authors, she spends her time drinking coffee and eating far too many Toblerones. She adores her whippet, Bella, and is tormented frequently by her OH and her teenage son.
She adores the book community, chatting with likeminded people who don't roll their eyes when she talks books, unlike the OH and teenage son...
Sign up to Andie's weekly newsletter here: http://www.subscribepage.com/f8v2u5 and get a FREE copy of DATING SUCKS. The short story prequel to The Vampire wants a Wife - EXCLUSIVE to subscribers.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 87 reviews
May 1, 2016
My Rating:
4.5
Favorite Quotes:
“I know, but she gets me to do things and afterwards I’m wondering how she did it… It’s some form of brainwashing.”
“I think Miranda buys books rather than compulsively eats. At thirty-eight, she’s divorced, and I guess it was books, food or cats and books won.”
“‘How long have you been together?’ ‘Almost thirty years.’ ‘Christ you don’t get that for murder,’”
“This is the holy grail. This is what women really want… Of course they’re grown up fairy tales. Do you see many suited and booted billionaires coming in here?”
“He takes a seat, and his legs splay apart in a wide-legged stance. You know like some men do on the bus? As if their package needs DHL heavy delivery options.”
My Review:
More bawdy and irreverent humor from the comically gifted Andie M. Long. She is one of my favorite guilty pleasures. I smirked and snorted more than a few times during this fun and quick read with mom Dora tossing a full blown tantrum and running off with the savings for an expensive vacation. Her impetuous behavior, amusing shenanigans, and curious experiments were more than entertaining. Poor Tim tries to make improvements on his end by taking cues from the Fifty Shades of alpha moves, with confusing results. I cannot wait to see what Ms. Long dreams up with next.
4.5
Favorite Quotes:
“I know, but she gets me to do things and afterwards I’m wondering how she did it… It’s some form of brainwashing.”
“I think Miranda buys books rather than compulsively eats. At thirty-eight, she’s divorced, and I guess it was books, food or cats and books won.”
“‘How long have you been together?’ ‘Almost thirty years.’ ‘Christ you don’t get that for murder,’”
“This is the holy grail. This is what women really want… Of course they’re grown up fairy tales. Do you see many suited and booted billionaires coming in here?”
“He takes a seat, and his legs splay apart in a wide-legged stance. You know like some men do on the bus? As if their package needs DHL heavy delivery options.”
My Review:
More bawdy and irreverent humor from the comically gifted Andie M. Long. She is one of my favorite guilty pleasures. I smirked and snorted more than a few times during this fun and quick read with mom Dora tossing a full blown tantrum and running off with the savings for an expensive vacation. Her impetuous behavior, amusing shenanigans, and curious experiments were more than entertaining. Poor Tim tries to make improvements on his end by taking cues from the Fifty Shades of alpha moves, with confusing results. I cannot wait to see what Ms. Long dreams up with next.
February 14, 2016
Best one yet. Cried laughing
October 12, 2016
This third novella in the Balls Series is so much funny.I've had a very good time reading it.
If you have read the previous books in the series you already know that Dora sometimes is a nutjob but what makes this story hilarious is to see and adult and all grown up man turning into an alpha mode to give his other half a good spank.
"I used to call my other half Dora the Explorer because her hand was always down my trousers fondling my meat and two veg."
I can't wait to read more about these characters...give me more BALLS please.
Copy kindly provided by the Publisher/Author.
May 3, 2016
Another brilliant Balls book. I love Dora and Tim they are just so wonderfully normal, but the stuff they come out with just cracks me up. Lots of great laugh out loud moments, I loved Alpha Tim!
February 4, 2017
I think Dora is my new heroine!
This book, though full of laughs also had a great plot too.
I know a lot of women will probably empathise with Dora and wish they had the "BALLS" to do what she does, but they will also see that while what she does is for good reasons it does have the possibility of backfiring!
Yet another absolute gem of a funny read by Andie!
This book, though full of laughs also had a great plot too.
I know a lot of women will probably empathise with Dora and wish they had the "BALLS" to do what she does, but they will also see that while what she does is for good reasons it does have the possibility of backfiring!
Yet another absolute gem of a funny read by Andie!
September 30, 2017
Quick novellas - part of a freebie deal on Amazon. Got these to read to work when I forgot my book. Hilariously funny. Not my favourite of these.
May 3, 2016
5 PLUS AMAZING STARS.
Reviewed on behalf of A Book Lovers Emporium Book Blog.
This is without a doubt my favourite of the Balls books so far. Well written as always and full of fun and laugh out loud moments as well as a little bit of angst thrown into the mix.
Dora and Tim are the parents in the Turner family and this book is about Dora feeling unloved and not getting enough attention. She sets out to show Tim she means business in her own feminist sort of way by packing her bags and heading to Center Parks for a week on her own with their joint savings. The fun starts straight away even before she heads to the chalet to get settled in, Dora is causing mayhem. There is a laugh a minute and Dora's character is a joy to read, her swearing alone would make a sailor blush, she is so funny, and strong and stubborn. Tim realises he has a challenge on his hands and sets out to find a way to "punish" Dora and put her back in her place where she should be - at home with him.
There is a particular chapter which include some Ben Wa balls and that alone is priceless and so wonderfully written. This book may only be short as are all the others in this series but they all pack a punch, are full of laughter and have many OMG moments to die for that will have your reaching for the tissues to wipe away tears of laughter. Bloody brilliant and I can't wait for the next in the series !!!
Reviewed on behalf of A Book Lovers Emporium Book Blog.
This is without a doubt my favourite of the Balls books so far. Well written as always and full of fun and laugh out loud moments as well as a little bit of angst thrown into the mix.
Dora and Tim are the parents in the Turner family and this book is about Dora feeling unloved and not getting enough attention. She sets out to show Tim she means business in her own feminist sort of way by packing her bags and heading to Center Parks for a week on her own with their joint savings. The fun starts straight away even before she heads to the chalet to get settled in, Dora is causing mayhem. There is a laugh a minute and Dora's character is a joy to read, her swearing alone would make a sailor blush, she is so funny, and strong and stubborn. Tim realises he has a challenge on his hands and sets out to find a way to "punish" Dora and put her back in her place where she should be - at home with him.
There is a particular chapter which include some Ben Wa balls and that alone is priceless and so wonderfully written. This book may only be short as are all the others in this series but they all pack a punch, are full of laughter and have many OMG moments to die for that will have your reaching for the tissues to wipe away tears of laughter. Bloody brilliant and I can't wait for the next in the series !!!
April 29, 2016
FIVE PLUS STARS!
This is without a doubt my favourite of the Balls books so far. Well written as always and full of fun and laugh out loud moments as well as a little bit of angst thrown into the mix.
Dora and Tim are the parents in the Turner family and this book is about Dora feeling unloved and not getting enough attention. She sets out to show Tim she means business in her own feminist sort of way by packing her bags and heading to Center Parks for a week on her own with their joint savings. The fun starts straight away even before she heads to the chalet to get settled in, Dora is causing mayhem. There is a laugh a minute and Dora's character is a joy to read, her swearing alone would make a sailor blush, she is so funny, and strong and stubborn. Tim realises he has a challenge on his hands and sets out to find a way to "punish" Dora and put her back in her place where she should be - at home with him.
There is a particular chapter which include some Ben Wa balls and that alone is priceless and so wonderfully written. This book may only be short as are all the others in this series but they all pack a punch, are full of laughter and have many OMG moments to die for that will have your reaching for the tissues to wipe away tears of laughter. Bloody brilliant and I can't wait for the next in the series !!!
This is without a doubt my favourite of the Balls books so far. Well written as always and full of fun and laugh out loud moments as well as a little bit of angst thrown into the mix.
Dora and Tim are the parents in the Turner family and this book is about Dora feeling unloved and not getting enough attention. She sets out to show Tim she means business in her own feminist sort of way by packing her bags and heading to Center Parks for a week on her own with their joint savings. The fun starts straight away even before she heads to the chalet to get settled in, Dora is causing mayhem. There is a laugh a minute and Dora's character is a joy to read, her swearing alone would make a sailor blush, she is so funny, and strong and stubborn. Tim realises he has a challenge on his hands and sets out to find a way to "punish" Dora and put her back in her place where she should be - at home with him.
There is a particular chapter which include some Ben Wa balls and that alone is priceless and so wonderfully written. This book may only be short as are all the others in this series but they all pack a punch, are full of laughter and have many OMG moments to die for that will have your reaching for the tissues to wipe away tears of laughter. Bloody brilliant and I can't wait for the next in the series !!!
May 2, 2016
Check out more of my reviews on my blog http://gemmareadstoomuch.co.uk
New Balls Please is book #3 in the Balls Series, I was lucky enough to be gifted an ARC of this book to read for Gemma Reads Too Much.
This series is so bloody funny!!!
I was laughing my little head off while I read this book.
This was the first book I’ve read where the author’s personality shone through; I could totally see Andie saying any of the amazing one liners that Dora comes out with.
Dora is bloody hilarious, she’s as daft as a brush but she’s so likeable that even the most ridiculous stuff she does seems completely normal.
I actually thought I was going to wee myself I laughed so much at the ben wa ball scenes.
Tim is unknowingly hilarious and I think I love him almost as much as Dora and Camille.
Andie M Long had genuinely funny bones and this series highlights her brilliance as a fantastic comedy writer.
I cringed at how ridiculous some stuff was but it was that amazing cringe that makes you grin as well.
New Balls Please is bloody hilarious and gets 5 stars from me.
New Balls Please is book #3 in the Balls Series, I was lucky enough to be gifted an ARC of this book to read for Gemma Reads Too Much.
This series is so bloody funny!!!
I was laughing my little head off while I read this book.
This was the first book I’ve read where the author’s personality shone through; I could totally see Andie saying any of the amazing one liners that Dora comes out with.
Dora is bloody hilarious, she’s as daft as a brush but she’s so likeable that even the most ridiculous stuff she does seems completely normal.
I actually thought I was going to wee myself I laughed so much at the ben wa ball scenes.
Tim is unknowingly hilarious and I think I love him almost as much as Dora and Camille.
Andie M Long had genuinely funny bones and this series highlights her brilliance as a fantastic comedy writer.
I cringed at how ridiculous some stuff was but it was that amazing cringe that makes you grin as well.
New Balls Please is bloody hilarious and gets 5 stars from me.
May 4, 2016
I received an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
New Ball Please (Ball Series Book 3) by Andie M. Long is one of the best comedy romance I have ever read! Bring Kleenex but not due to sadness but tears of laughter this romance will bring to your eyes. You will find yourself laughing out loud so much your spouse/partner/significant other will want to know what is going on with you.
Tim and Dora are exquisite characters that even as short as the book is are well developed and easy to connect with. For a marriage to work you have to keep it your priority. Sometimes it takes stepping away and looking at it from another angle, do you want what it could be or do you want it to end?
I am rating New Balls Please with a 4.9 stars!! It will lighten your heart and mood while bringing a new romantic to your world. You will laugh your way through this light-hearted romance and love every moment.
New Ball Please (Ball Series Book 3) by Andie M. Long is one of the best comedy romance I have ever read! Bring Kleenex but not due to sadness but tears of laughter this romance will bring to your eyes. You will find yourself laughing out loud so much your spouse/partner/significant other will want to know what is going on with you.
Tim and Dora are exquisite characters that even as short as the book is are well developed and easy to connect with. For a marriage to work you have to keep it your priority. Sometimes it takes stepping away and looking at it from another angle, do you want what it could be or do you want it to end?
I am rating New Balls Please with a 4.9 stars!! It will lighten your heart and mood while bringing a new romantic to your world. You will laugh your way through this light-hearted romance and love every moment.
May 4, 2016
Pure Comical Bliss!!!
I cannot get enough of this series and author. From the moment I read the first line I knew I was in for a laugh out loud funny adventure that only Ms. Long can write. She has nailed it once again with this latest installment in the Ball Games series.
New Balls is Dora’s Story, Camille and Tyler’s Mom from the previous books! Dora has been in a committed relationship with Tim for a long time. However never married Dora is feeling a little invisible to her family after an illness in which her partner and children did check in on her. So like any women not feeling appreciated she packs up and goes on holiday. What ensues from there is comical everyday moments that have us roaring with laughter. As a wife who has been married for over 20 years I could totally relate to Dora and Tim situation and love how the author tells their story in such a way you can only hold your stomach from laughing!
Reviewed by Tracey
I cannot get enough of this series and author. From the moment I read the first line I knew I was in for a laugh out loud funny adventure that only Ms. Long can write. She has nailed it once again with this latest installment in the Ball Games series.
New Balls is Dora’s Story, Camille and Tyler’s Mom from the previous books! Dora has been in a committed relationship with Tim for a long time. However never married Dora is feeling a little invisible to her family after an illness in which her partner and children did check in on her. So like any women not feeling appreciated she packs up and goes on holiday. What ensues from there is comical everyday moments that have us roaring with laughter. As a wife who has been married for over 20 years I could totally relate to Dora and Tim situation and love how the author tells their story in such a way you can only hold your stomach from laughing!
Reviewed by Tracey
May 5, 2016
***Reviewed for Amo and Sarah’s book corner***
OMG!!! This book is SO funny I loved it!! I really didn’t think that this book would beat Snowballs…but how wrong was I. I liked Dora in the other books but she reminds me so much of me…lol.
Dora has had it! She’s had enough of being taken for granted and unappreciated, so she decides to leave Tim to his own devices. The kids can get their own Sunday dinner…..the mishaps and the antics that happen are just hilarious.
I’ll show my brood. No-one messes with The Mother.
This book is amazing! This book will make you cry with laughter, I know I did. It was just what I needed after a bad day, a little bit of humour. If you haven’t read any of this series then go get them now, you don’t know what you’re missing.
This book gets a massive 5 stars from me!!
Sarah!
OMG!!! This book is SO funny I loved it!! I really didn’t think that this book would beat Snowballs…but how wrong was I. I liked Dora in the other books but she reminds me so much of me…lol.
Dora has had it! She’s had enough of being taken for granted and unappreciated, so she decides to leave Tim to his own devices. The kids can get their own Sunday dinner…..the mishaps and the antics that happen are just hilarious.
I’ll show my brood. No-one messes with The Mother.
This book is amazing! This book will make you cry with laughter, I know I did. It was just what I needed after a bad day, a little bit of humour. If you haven’t read any of this series then go get them now, you don’t know what you’re missing.
This book gets a massive 5 stars from me!!
Sarah!
December 27, 2016
The Balls series had become one of my new favorite series. This is book three bu tit can be read as a standalone. This is Dora and Tim's story. If you read the first too, then you'll know it's about Camille and Tyler's parents. I love this family they are all super funny. Dora and Tim are funny. Dora is fed up and feels like her family doesn't appreciate her. She leaves for a week. She leaves Tim a note telling him where she is going. Tim plans are to ignore Dora but then he starts reading her romance books and he decides Dora may want a alpha male. Tim's attempts to be an alpha male are super funny. If you're looking for a quick, super funny read then this one is for you.
A copy was received for a review.
A copy was received for a review.
May 3, 2016
I loved this book, hard! Throughout the series Dora has been my favourite character. She’s straight to the point, quirky and a force to be reckoned with. I want to be like her when I grow up. She was a total drama queen in this installment and decided to forgo her mother and wife duties and take time for herself. As both a mother and a wife I totally get her. What I didn’t expect from this book was to equally love Tim, he is definitely not the typical book boyf but he endeared me so much. I just love the relationship they have it’s so typical of those that have been together for a long time and I can totally imagine everything that happened in this book happening in real life. I had so many laugh out loud moments throughout, if you haven’t read this series yet you really need to
May 3, 2016
OMG!!! This book is SO funny I loved it!! I really didn’t think that this book would beat Snowballs…but how wrong was I. I liked Dora in the other books but she reminds me so much of me…lol.
Dora has had it! She’s had enough of being taken for granted and unappreciated, so she decides to leave Tim to his own devices. The kids can get their own Sunday dinner…..the mishaps and the antics that happen are just hilarious.
I’ll show my brood. No-one messes with The Mother.
This book is amazing! This book will make you cry with laughter, I know I did. It was just what I needed after a bad day, a little bit of humour. If you haven’t read any of this series then go get them now, you don’t know what you’re missing.
This book gets a massive 5 stars from me!!
Sarah!
Dora has had it! She’s had enough of being taken for granted and unappreciated, so she decides to leave Tim to his own devices. The kids can get their own Sunday dinner…..the mishaps and the antics that happen are just hilarious.
I’ll show my brood. No-one messes with The Mother.
This book is amazing! This book will make you cry with laughter, I know I did. It was just what I needed after a bad day, a little bit of humour. If you haven’t read any of this series then go get them now, you don’t know what you’re missing.
This book gets a massive 5 stars from me!!
Sarah!
May 26, 2020
this is the third book in the series from this author but can be read as a stand alone and what a good read, this book had me laughing and giggling all the way through just like the other books in the series. this is a quick, funny read which will leave a smile on your face even when you've finished. again you'll want to finish this book in one session cause you wont want to put it down. I loved the characters and the story line, they were really well written. I would definitely recommended this book if your looking for a quick light hearted read but it will be even better if you read the others in the series first.
highly recommended
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highly recommended
https://www.obsessedbookreviews.com/
February 22, 2016
This is my favourite so far in this series. I absolutely loved it. finally we get Dora's story and it's fantastic. Most women will relate to Dora (I did) and most men will relate to Tim. After been together years, raising the kids, they start to struggle with empty nest syndrome and Dora takes things into her own hands. Some really hysterical moments in this book. One part in particular had me crying with laughter. Another brilliant funny romance from Andie Long. Can't wait for more from this series.
April 4, 2016
I can't even...this book...I don't think I've laughed so much while reading a book in a long time!
Dora has had enough of being taken for granted and she's upped and left...CenterParcs is where it's at!
Of course initially Tim is annoyed with Dora...but then he spies the tennis coach on-site and worries that Dora has another reason for staying there. Believing that what Dora needs is an Alpha, Tim arms himself with her book collection and begins to read....trust me when I say the consequences are hilarious.
You won't want to miss this one!
Dora has had enough of being taken for granted and she's upped and left...CenterParcs is where it's at!
Of course initially Tim is annoyed with Dora...but then he spies the tennis coach on-site and worries that Dora has another reason for staying there. Believing that what Dora needs is an Alpha, Tim arms himself with her book collection and begins to read....trust me when I say the consequences are hilarious.
You won't want to miss this one!
April 24, 2016
This was by far my favourite of the novellas! Absolutely bloomin' hilarious and so true to life.
I really loved reading these. They were an ideal feel good read and made me lol a lot! Andie has a great knack of capturing reality and there's so much in these stories to relate to.
Perfect for the beach or a commute, and great British humour at its best. I read this around the pool and people looked at me like I was a crazy woman when I was snorting at the words. I kept reading out quotes to everyone and had the poolside laughing out loud too.
I really loved reading these. They were an ideal feel good read and made me lol a lot! Andie has a great knack of capturing reality and there's so much in these stories to relate to.
Perfect for the beach or a commute, and great British humour at its best. I read this around the pool and people looked at me like I was a crazy woman when I was snorting at the words. I kept reading out quotes to everyone and had the poolside laughing out loud too.
April 27, 2016
Having enjoyed the previous novellas in this series, I couldn't wait to find out more about Dora, mum to Camille and Tyler.
This book sees Dora escaping the family home and attempting to regain confidence in herself as both a mother and a wife. Her husband and children don't quite understand what's going on in Dora's head. How her husband deals with the situation leads to some hilarious moments throughout, as does Dora's own attempts at spicing up her a life.
Suffice to say this is a brilliant series which I will be following.
This book sees Dora escaping the family home and attempting to regain confidence in herself as both a mother and a wife. Her husband and children don't quite understand what's going on in Dora's head. How her husband deals with the situation leads to some hilarious moments throughout, as does Dora's own attempts at spicing up her a life.
Suffice to say this is a brilliant series which I will be following.
April 27, 2016
Dora is fed up with her family. She is feeling unappreciated and feels like no one cares. Dora decided to go on a little vacation by herself. This did not set well with her common law hubby Tim.
This was a funny book. It's also like reality in sorts. Marriage isn't all roses and chocolates. This book was about a couple who needed sorting out their issues. I love the style that this author uses in her books. There is so many funny parts.
This was a funny book. It's also like reality in sorts. Marriage isn't all roses and chocolates. This book was about a couple who needed sorting out their issues. I love the style that this author uses in her books. There is so many funny parts.
January 4, 2025
I received an arc in exchange for an honest review. Have to honestly say this one is the best one yet! New balls please is Dora's story (she is the mother of cam and Tyler from the first 2 books) and she has a whale of a time! This was a very quick read but it had me chuckling from beginning to end. Dora and Tim are hilarious. If you haven't read these books then get on and do it now. They are brilliant if you want a funny, feel-good read.
January 25, 2017
There is one thing about all of Andie’s work, and that she never disappoints. She has me hooked throughout each and every book.
I loved Dora from the previous books, and the hilarious shenanigans continue in this one, when she decides to go on strike.
Love this series, and another fantastic effort from this author. Cannot wait to read more from Andie.
I loved Dora from the previous books, and the hilarious shenanigans continue in this one, when she decides to go on strike.
Love this series, and another fantastic effort from this author. Cannot wait to read more from Andie.
March 28, 2016
I'm loving this new Balls series. This third book is just as funny, witty and entertaining. I can so relate to Dora as I'm sure lots of you will too! Andie is a great author and always delivers a fantastic read! Can't wait for Beth's story!
February 17, 2016
Out of this series this has to be the best one yet I haven't laughed so much in a long time I was crying with Laughter, Dora and Tim, I would be totally cool with these guys being my Parents, Tim the Alpha ha ha, can't wait for more in this series.
May 3, 2016
This book has so much many women can relate to!
Pure comedy gold. I've loved Dora and her antics since the first Balls book but we get that and so much more in this new instalment in the series!!
Andie has knocked it out of the park!
Pure comedy gold. I've loved Dora and her antics since the first Balls book but we get that and so much more in this new instalment in the series!!
Andie has knocked it out of the park!
January 24, 2017
This book carrys on the story of the main characters but from Dora and Tims perspective. When they have a falling out Dora has her adventures but poor Tim comes up to the mark with hilarious results. Dora can be so funny. Interesting twists
February 18, 2016
Hilarious... I Totally laugh out loud at times... Brilliant....
February 19, 2016
This is the most funniest and laugh out loud book that I have ever read. Andie M Long is a comical genius!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 87 reviews