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A Stone's Throw: Inside the Stonefemme and Stonebutch Life
Butch is a term that changes shape, depending on the mouth that utters it. Soft, supple lips shaping the syllables can make it feel like a caress. Other mouths may make the word seem undesirable. If you do not believe that the word could ever be a characteristic to be proud of, this book is meant for you.Masculine presenting lesbians can be referred to as butch or stud and their feminine counterparts as femme. But what about those who embody something outside of butch; are primarily male identified but do not identify as trans? What about femmes who partner exclusively with these handsome folk ?
These are the Stones. Stonebutches (often called stone studs or touch-me-nots) and stonefemmes are organized similarly to the traditional butch-femme relationships, that you may be familiar with. One important and singular difference is how they fall outside of the typical celebration of female to female sex. Stone sexuality presents a queer and hetero-erotic/non-heterosexual binary that develops between two female bodied people who typically identify on the opposite ends of the gender spectrum, though not exclusively.
Leslie Feinberg’s 1993 groundbreaking and acclaimed Stone Butch Blues tackles the intersectionalities of male transgenderism, androgyny, butch lesbians, and third gender identities. Feinberg’s success was in their ability to share the struggles and merest joys of this developing group, which made way for important conversations that have led to the development of today’s language for owning and validating the Butch, Femme, and Stone sub-culture of the gay community.
In A Stone’s Throw, Victoria Darling invites you into her inner experiences of coming to terms with and making space for her stonefemme identity and self-expression. She weaves together nonfiction essays, short shorts, poetry, and tasteful erotic content to sculpt a window into this libertine world where gender and sexuality are defined by sexual attraction and sexual limitation. Victoria lays bare what it means to love a touch-me-not butch; how it strengthens and empowers women like her, as well as the stonebutches they love. Victoria delights us with situational humor (“Lucy Goes Camping”), rails against oppressors (“Greedy and Selfish”), grieves a lover (“Melted Stone”), sifts through the difficulties of social erasure (“Femme Invisibility”), and brings the sexy 2008 Vanity Fair cover photo with KD Lang and Cindy Crawford's barber-chair scene to life (“A Close Shave”).
Grab a copy today. You'll be delighted and surprised.
These are the Stones. Stonebutches (often called stone studs or touch-me-nots) and stonefemmes are organized similarly to the traditional butch-femme relationships, that you may be familiar with. One important and singular difference is how they fall outside of the typical celebration of female to female sex. Stone sexuality presents a queer and hetero-erotic/non-heterosexual binary that develops between two female bodied people who typically identify on the opposite ends of the gender spectrum, though not exclusively.
Leslie Feinberg’s 1993 groundbreaking and acclaimed Stone Butch Blues tackles the intersectionalities of male transgenderism, androgyny, butch lesbians, and third gender identities. Feinberg’s success was in their ability to share the struggles and merest joys of this developing group, which made way for important conversations that have led to the development of today’s language for owning and validating the Butch, Femme, and Stone sub-culture of the gay community.
In A Stone’s Throw, Victoria Darling invites you into her inner experiences of coming to terms with and making space for her stonefemme identity and self-expression. She weaves together nonfiction essays, short shorts, poetry, and tasteful erotic content to sculpt a window into this libertine world where gender and sexuality are defined by sexual attraction and sexual limitation. Victoria lays bare what it means to love a touch-me-not butch; how it strengthens and empowers women like her, as well as the stonebutches they love. Victoria delights us with situational humor (“Lucy Goes Camping”), rails against oppressors (“Greedy and Selfish”), grieves a lover (“Melted Stone”), sifts through the difficulties of social erasure (“Femme Invisibility”), and brings the sexy 2008 Vanity Fair cover photo with KD Lang and Cindy Crawford's barber-chair scene to life (“A Close Shave”).
Grab a copy today. You'll be delighted and surprised.
104 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 11, 2016
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
February 2, 2020
Every thinking lesbian should read this book. Interesting perspective on high femmes who only want stone butch lovers. Author, a self proclaimed high femme, suggests that she is not a lesbian because of her narrow attractions. She also says she only wants a female lover who is a “Stone” butch him. The whole book was an eye opener and it left me with a better understanding of females/lesbians who take on the butch persona and females who want to transition. After reading this book and “Stone Butch Blues” (Leslie Feinberg) I think feminist lesbians should make room for everybody. They may not like the high femme/Stone butch dynamic, but really it’s none of their business.
May 14, 2026
Really loved Don’t Tone It Down on pg. 41. Whole heart and body don’t agree with “wanting a masculine entity inside and expressed through a female body could never be considered true lesbianism”. However I did really appreciate, “dyke encapsulates the intensity, the ‘otherness’, the sexuality, and the queerness of who I am.”
Beautiful writing but important to remember it’s only one femmes experience and thoughts; still extremely valuable and important but not true for everyone.
Beautiful writing but important to remember it’s only one femmes experience and thoughts; still extremely valuable and important but not true for everyone.
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December 12, 2020A gathering of writings that will entertain and inform. Victoria invites you into the life that is Stone. From erotic to romantic to defining what it is. Words that speak of desire and need. Words that provide comfort and a sense of being home.
Each page opens another door to explore and experience another moment of self recognition.
You end up with that feeling of belonging.
A perfect companion to ‘Pillow Princesses & Touch-Me-Nots’
Each page opens another door to explore and experience another moment of self recognition.
You end up with that feeling of belonging.
A perfect companion to ‘Pillow Princesses & Touch-Me-Nots’
September 25, 2019
Intriguing
I will definitely have to read this again, to get the full benefit of it. The last item, though, whew!
I will definitely have to read this again, to get the full benefit of it. The last item, though, whew!
April 29, 2020
I originally thought this was going to be a story, and it was, just not the fictional kind with the traditional beginning, middle, and end with character growth, growing plot with a climax.
This was a collection of stories and poems written in the span of a decade about Stonebutch lesbians and Stonefemme lesbians. Some of it was beautiful and some of it taught me a few things. It even helped with my own feelings toward my own sexuality.
Please read the foreword before you read these stories. I recommend this book, especially to anyone who is struggling to find themselves.
This was a collection of stories and poems written in the span of a decade about Stonebutch lesbians and Stonefemme lesbians. Some of it was beautiful and some of it taught me a few things. It even helped with my own feelings toward my own sexuality.
Please read the foreword before you read these stories. I recommend this book, especially to anyone who is struggling to find themselves.
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews