Family Estrangement

by Kylie Agllias

Family estrangement is larger than conflict and more complicated than betrayal. It is entwined in contradictory beliefs, values, behaviours and goals and is the result of at least one member of the family considering reconciliation impossible and/or undesirable. The cessation of familial relations, whether that involves rejection or deciding to leave, can be an inordinately traumatising experience. Whilst data suggests that around 1 in 12 people are estranged from at least one family member this topic is rarely discussed or researched. Based on the author’s in-depth research and exploration of the topic of estrangement, Family A Matter of Perspective captures the unique lived experiences of both estrangee and estranger. Offering multiple perspectives drawn from academic and popular literature as well as case studies, the book contextualises its chapters within current theoretical understandings of family relationships and estrangement, including Loss and Grief theories, Attachment Theory and Bowen Family Systems Theory. Practice sections provide estranged readers and professionals with a structured approach to exploring the various aspects of estrangement within a family and to help them identify resilience, strengths and strategies which individuals may harness as they attempt to live with estrangement. Written with the aim to provide guidance in understanding estrangement in context, this book is suitable for estranged family members and all professionals who encounter and work with people affected by estrangement, including social workers, counsellors, psychologists, allied health professionals, doctors, nurses and legal professions.

Genres: Psychology, Self Help, Nonfiction

228 pages, Paperback

Published September 27, 2016

Reviews

[Julie Clements]

I find this book extremely helpful in my own life. It helps me to see that my situation is far from isolated. This alone is comforting. Through the book I have more insight into where my estranged family member is coming from - and that her physical removal from the family didn't happen out of the blue, but there were signposts over the years which I couldn't see at the time. Because the book has increased my understanding, I feel less reactive to the situation, more at peace with it. I highly recommend this wise and sensitively written book to anybody who has an estrangement in the family.

[Sippy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Worthwhile book. Mostly interested in people that choose to estrange and it has some interesting insights aka shared experiences. Would recommend this to people dealing with this topic personally or that are counseling clients dealing with this. Good literature list too. 4.5 *

[Ward · Rating 5 out of 5]

Helpful. Captured my experience.

[Claire Tomlinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

very helpful

Family estrangement is pervasive in my family, spanning generations. There is also generational abuse. This book has helped me view the topic through an academic lens so I can better understand the situation as it might appear from different viewpoints. Highly recommend.

[Patricia Leslie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an excellent (but academic) book. I've read many on this topic and this is the tops, presented objectively citing many studies. I am recommending it to a friend in another city who'll request it thru Interlibrary Loan since it's rather pricey. (I got it thru ILL, too.) It helps us, the estrangees, to understand the roles we play in these (sad) relationships. I am still looking for a book on how to repair these relationships. The perspective of most books is from the estranger's view only and there is little to offer actions for estrangees. (Estranger is the one who breaks the relationship and estrangee is the primary sufferer.)

[Serene · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this for a paper I'm writing. Really good exercises for dealing with a variety of circumstances, whether you're a clinician or a client.