If I'd Known Then: Women in their 20s and 30s Write Letters to Their Younger Selves

by Ellyn Spragins

If you could send a letter back in time to yourself, what would it say? Following in the tradition of the bestselling What I Know Now -- comes a new collection that will speak directly to young women. Editor Ellyn Spragins asked women under forty to write letters to the girls they once were, filled with the advice and insights they wish they'd had when they were younger. Readers will recognize familiar names as well as meet new voices in these wonderfully candid missives, author Hope Edelman; actress Jessica Alba; Olympic soccer gold medalist Julia Foudy; activist Zainab Salbi; actress Danica McKellar; and author Plum Sykes. A perfect gift at graduation or for any important young woman in your life, If I'd Known Then offers rare glimpses into the personal stories of extraordinary young women-and will inspire readers to live their best lives.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Inspirational, Personal Development, Anthologies

192 pages, Hardcover

First published January 28, 2008

Reviews

[Elevate Difference · Rating 1 out of 5]

If I'd Known Then is a collection of letters and stories about successful women, some of them celebrities, looking back at their younger selves with grains of experiential wisdom. Actress Jessica Alba, singer/songwriter Lisa Loeb, and Flickr founder Caterina Fake are some of the participants. It is meant to be an inspirational book, giving extrapolative advice about self-esteem and perseverance in the face of unkind conditions, peers, and standards.

Each featured participant has an entire chapter devoted to herself, and each chapter follows a similar pattern: an introduction celebrating the subject’s accomplishments then a brief reminder the reader that success didn’t always come easy and that the woman in question went through times of difficult tribulation. The chapter ends with the letter that woman has written to her younger self. It is somewhat general, somewhat banal, but an incredibly quick and easy read.

Overall, this book falls in the same vein as the Chicken Soup for the Soul series, with the transparent intent to uplift, inspire, and strengthen its readers. Unfortunately, I found it to be corny and cliché, particularly in its use of celebrity narratives to bolster its appeal. On more than one occasion I found myself going into autopilot, reading and internalizing the content without experiencing much of a reaction. The letters mostly sound alike, which I believe is due to the editor’s voice being the one that predominantly comes through, rather than that of the authors themselves. I didn’t find the stories particularly rich or intimate, especially for the kind of book it claims to be.

My perception of this book as a lackluster work may be because it’s more appropriate for a younger person just beginning to experience the personal challenges that come with adolescence. I certainly would have been more engaged with it at age 11 or 12 than at 20, so it clearly wasn’t written for me. In spite of this, I have no doubt that there are stronger, more provocative, and more supportive books for younger women than If I'd Known Then.

Review by Yujean Park

[Westminster Library · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not as good as I was expecting, kind of boring actually. I was hoping for either concrete advice (i.e. “This is what I should’ve done when I signed my first lease…”) or something transcendent (ie “Everyone is just as terrified as you are, so no one’s looking, so do that thing you’ve been desperate to do!”). It only took me one evening to read... You'll get a gem or two out of this book, but otherwise, the "letters to myself" are bland, short, common and uninspiring.

Find If I'd Known Then: Women in their 20s and 30s Write Letters to Their Younger Selves at Westminster Public Library today!

[Lizzie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Would be a good book to give to a teenager.

[Ummu Auni · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked this book because the title intrigued me. I read through this leisurely. The author added background on each personality portrayed in this book. The letters were short, but remarkable. Most of it on our insecurities-the elders writing to their younger version-to give life a chance, to not be heart broken when the cute boy you met didn't call you,to address your insecurities (it's no wonder that most of us despite how beautiful or talented someone is, we feel insecure enough about ourselves). Reading this at my age, I found myself nodding in agreement on what is written. If I'd known then..I should try to write a letter to myself or perhaps my daughter as to ensure that she wouldn't feel lost in life

[anahashim17 · Rating 4 out of 5]

assalamualaikum wbt,

alhamdulillah i am able to finish this novel.this books resembles and reflects my life as a 23 years old lady.somehow i felt i am loser, while mostly i feel i lost my tracks.oh Allah, please guide me.

i will read this book again and again to remind myself and learn how to build my future.insyaAllah.

[Julie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this book. However, instead of feeling inspired, I was mainly bored.

[Janessa King · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have now completed my first read for 2018! This was a required text for a leadership series I was invited to, and it definitely lived up to its potential. Reading stories from so many point of views (the ones that really stood out to me were Sara Blakely, Zainab Salbi, and Aimee Mullins), seeing the different struggles people have gone through.....as another guest at the conference said, it really puts everything into context. Some people's troubles can be labeled as 'less' compared to others, but it shouldn't justify how you feel about yours. Each person has a different situation and their worst struggle is the worst they've known. This book really made you think and for me at least, made me feel confident that if these women, who are all successful and satisfied with how their lives turned out, can make it through tough times, I can too. I can't wait to see what this life has in store for me.

[Sleepy Chicken · Rating 3 out of 5]

Decent concept, would have loved if the letters were longer. With how short most of the letters were (some less than a page long), there wasn't much chance to get to hear the celebrities or to take meaningful advice from. Having to represent themselves in a page made most of the people write basic motivational-speaker level messages like "Be yourself" and "Don't overstress yourself". Which is fine, but given how the book itself claims it is an ideal gift for a teenager looking for inspiration or help, I'd have preferred more thorough advices and stories from the people writing. It wasn't all bad, it is definitely a comforting book that fills you with warm vibes in your chest, so I won't complain too much. Besides, I recognise the importance of the concept, so even if I was looking for something more from the book, I can see how it could mean a lot to someone else, so that I appreciate the book for

[Salim Khursheed · Rating 3 out of 5]

Decent concept, would have loved if the letters were longer. With how short most of the letters were (some less than a page long), there wasn't much chance to get to hear the celebrities or to take meaningful advice from. Having to represent themselves in a page made most of the people write basic motivational-speaker level messages like "Be yourself" and "Don't overstress yourself". Which is fine, but given how the book itself claims it is an ideal gift for a teenager looking for inspiration or help, I'd have preferred more thorough advices and stories from the people writing. It wasn't all bad, it is definitely a comforting book that fills you with warm vibes in your chest, so I won't complain too much. Besides, I recognise the importance of the concept, so even if I was looking for something more from the book, I can see how it could mean a lot to someone else, so that I appreciate the book for

[Chloe (Always Booked) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Similarly to other reviewers, I thought this book got pretty boring. I am not the target audience (a 34 year old lady) so maybe take this with a grain of salt, but most of the letters felt vey basic. Each story is told by giving 1-2 pages of the editor's description of who the celebrity is and then a 1-2 page letter of that celebrity to their tween/teen self. The editor's voice is very strong and thats not a bad thing at all, but it kind of drowned out the celebrity voices and made them all feel the same, even though they definitely weren't. I imagine this would be a very cathartic experience for the celebrities, but as the reader, the gems were few and far between.

[Kelsey · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was really excited to read this book as I’ve been thinking more about my inner child. I thought I would feel inspired and touched through the stories. In all reality, only a few stood out to me. Maybe I am just a little too “mature”. I do think it could help a young girl out especially as a reminder that everyone has their own struggles too. The bio of the person took away from the letter (in my opinion) and would have likely given another star if the letters were deeper/personal. Appreciate all the letters that were written and shared for the book.

[hailey · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was a gift from my aunt. Some letters were full of advice others were generic ones. But all of these women were admirable.

[Xiangwei · Rating 2 out of 5]

Read it when you're a teen, might be better.

[Cindy Hudson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Have you ever wished you could write a letter to yourself when you were younger to give yourself hope or encouragement to get through a difficult time? That's what the 35 women did who appear in If I'd Know Then, Women in Their 20s and 30s Write Letters to Their Younger Selves.

Readers will recognize many of the writers as well as receive introductions to remarkable women they may not have heard of before. The letters are all heartfelt, with the authors talking directly to the young girls they once were. It's a wonderful reminder that no matter how famous or wealthy or popular someone is, we all share many of the same insecurities, doubts, fears and self-imposed limitations.

This book is part of the What I Know Now series, and I think it's a great addition for younger readers. I was particularly struck by the story of Mindy Lam, who was labeled an unlucky child when she was born in China and treated harshly during her childhood. She overcame incredible hurdles to come to this country, learn to speak English and find a way to support herself before stumbling upon an idea for creating jewelry that has made her successful beyond her imagining. All the stories are inspiring.

Moms in a mother-daughter book club can write letters to their younger selves as a meeting activity to inspire discussion. And girls could also think about issues they're dealing with now that they may see differently in a few years.

I believe girls in 8th grade and up would enjoy reading If I'd Known Then.

[Rianna *Hermione* B · Rating 3 out of 5]

Going in, I didn't know very many females interviewed in this book, but it seemed cool. & I LOVE Jessica Alba from since she was in PUNKS.. & that was a big factor in me reading this. lol, but not in a sexual way. There were probably 5-10 other folks I've heard of & half of whom I knew who they were.

On the expositions and letters, most were decent. Childhood-teenage years are pretty much difficult for everyone for 1 reason or multiple. A fair amount of these people/chapters were crazy-inspiring, but others I was just kind of like.. "What was the point here?" especially the one with the horse. I didn't really get that one at all.

I learned & Googled a few people because their stories were really interesting & I wanted to see what they looked like & do a bit more research. Really great inspiration is that lady who doesn't have shins, but yet is an medal-winning athlete, a model, & an actress. Never heard of her or seen her before, but that's SO COOL.

Mainly, I think the book is to help you realize/ remember that it's not what happens to us, but our choices that matter. Be true to yourself.

Also, this printing had misprints/ the wrong name on a few pages.. like Magdali's name was in the top right corner of pages she was not on.. lol.

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

I did really like it. If I'd known then is Famous people writing to them selves when they either first started their career or any time younger than 19. People like Natasha Bettingfield and Bethany Hamilton. They realize that now the know and wish the would have known then. There is about 20 people that wrote to them selves and some I've never even heard of. Most of the stories and letters are really good there is just one that I didn't like. The theme is regret and simply life. It is shown throughout the book by all of the letters, all of the people in the book have something they regretted doing, and they all talk about their lives. A symbol could be Bethany Hamilton's shark. It symbols defeat that she overcame.The book matters because it talks about how even those people had and have struggles, but every one does.

[Katakgirl · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked up this book because it was on sale and it has a very intriguing title I was curious about. I started reading the first few bios letters (includes Jessica Alba and Natasha Beddingfield)and i was literally hooked into it. I would say its a really inspiring book for young teens and young women. It made me miss my teenage years so much and realized that I actually couldn't buy back the time I wasted. But with these letters, it encourages us that sometimes is okay, as long as you make up to it.

[Limau Nipis · Rating 3 out of 5]

A different self motivation book, this book focuses on famous people writing to their younger self.

I like the introduction part, acknowledging the background of these famous females.

One of the most heartfelt story is on Mindy Lam, the girl who is considered unlucky because she, as a female is the first born in the family.

And when she was sick and bedridden, she created her first piece of jewellery using crystal. Here is an example of elaborate pieces by her company.

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Oh wow, a fairytale story :)

[Chantel · Rating 3 out of 5]

If I'd Known Then: Women Under 35 Write Letters to Their Younger Selves
Author: Ellyn Spragins

I'm 34. I should have gotten the one that was by/for women much older than me. As it was, I still felt a tug at the heart and the tear ducts while reading this book but I didn't get as much out of it as a younger person might. This book would be great for a school age girl (high school or college) to gain a better perspective on what they are going through and how it will and especially won't affect them later in life.

[Diana · Rating 4 out of 5]

Brad Paisley made me read this.
This is one of those books everyone should take time to read. Most of us usually compare our lives to the perfect lives we think these women have, but now we learn that they had some pretty hard times too.
It kind of makes you want to say "Hey my life really isn't that bad."
This book is for young woman to realized that they are not alone in what they're feeling or going through.

[Fariza · Rating 4 out of 5]

It'S great to read those letters written to the younger self of the writers, some of them were really relevant to me now. I do learn a lot from this great works. Life used to be a bunch of shit for certain peoples but it will become a great experience that you know you'll remember for the whole of your life. Live your life now as happy as you can because you know one it's going to be better. It always be.

[Serene · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a great book the theme of this book would be accomplishment and struggle. An example of accomplish is in every letter they either became famous, a dancer, a swimmer etc. An example of struggle is when in the letters they say without the struggle they wouldn't be where they are now. What I think the author was trying to say is that first comes struggle then come reward. I would recommend this book to ages 13 and up.

[Hailey Story · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book If I'd Known Then. Its about women from their 20's through 30's talking about either mistakes they made while they were younger of things that they remember that was a exciting thing in their life. Each Women's story's were in this book that Ellyn Spragins (the Author..) interviewed. The theme would be realism because your able to relate to a lot of the story's in this book.

[Effa Izzaty · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Learn to accept yourself for who you are. Stop judging and comparing yourself to others. You make mistakes, and so does everybody else. There is no shame in not having all the answers. Being wrong is not the end of the world. There is no need to be that hard on yourself. It is a waste of time."

"Take risks. Live unafraid of failures because failures are evidence that you tried and that is a wonderful thing."

[Lyla Ibrahim · Rating 4 out of 5]

Inspiring. It's always a good feeling to read stories about successful people and how they overcome all hurdles in their lives, turn their lives around. Not every aspects in our lives is a good one, but as they say, every cloud has a silver lining.

I wonder what I would write to my younger self...

[L · Rating 3 out of 5]

The letters focus more on personal reflections rather than drawing broader, sweeping conclusions. The quality of the conclusions varies widely from authors. Its target audience is more suited toward preteens and teenagers. Anyone older will find the content regarding high school and college irrelevant. Some nuggets of wisdom and entertainment for a rather short book.

[Claire · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm biased here, as my pal Magali has a letter in this book, but I genuinely enjoyed this collection, and found the essays inspiring. The timing of the book's release is perfect--this would make an excellent graduation gift, particularly for teens.

[kyersten · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a real fast read. You can't help but think of your own younger self. I know exacally how old I was when I could have used a letter from my future self. Too bad we can't really give our younger selves advice like that. Read it. You'll probably learn something.

[Jodi · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this and am anxious to read the next book of hers. It was interesting to learn about how these women came to be where they are - from the widow that started Tarte cosmetics (hello, love it!) to Hussein's prospect that moved to the US to avoid him. Jessica Alba's was lame though ;)

[Peggy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an ok book about some half way famous people who overcame obstacles to achieve objectives. The book gives a brief bio of each person and the obstacles they overcame and then has the person write a letter to their younger self giving advice.