The Pledge of a Lifetime: Her Hope for Connection. His Guide Through Conflict.

by Mark T. Oelze

What is it about conflict that causes all of us to shy away? Why is it so difficult? What if there was a step-by-step process to guide us through conflict and create a deeper connection at the same time? And what if the principles learned could enhance all communication? In The Pledge of a Lifetime, follow Jake and Lisa's story and discover how to transform tense confrontations into rich conversations. Watch family dynamics improve as everyone works together to communicate in a manner governed by love. From his years of conflict resolving experiences, Mark Oelze leads you into the counselor's office between the covers of this book, where you will learn the keys to process any conflict, big or small. Fear no longer has to hold you back. Work the PLEDGE to build strong healthy communication with love as your highest goal!

180 pages, Paperback

Published December 31, 2014

Reviews

[Patti Pierce · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mark Oelze, a marriage and family counselor since 1985, works to help couples process conflict in love rather than spite or anger. He and his wife Zerrin have been married for 23 and teach the Madly In Love Marriage Conference. They are parents of three grown children and live in Wichita, Kansas. He and Zerrin have a passion to see intentional love used to shape how we communicate with one another. To contact Mark Oelze about the PLEDGE process and/or teaching a marriage conference in your church or city, you can email him (mark@madlyinlove.org) or learn more at http://www.madlyinlove.org

Having celebrated 26 years of marriage to my husband and coming up on 27 years, I know marriage takes work, communication, and love. It is definitely not easy. Through the pages of this book, the reader will see just how much work is required for a healthy, happy, and lasting marriage. Mark Oelze does an excellent job of laying out how couples should communicate with one another.

Whether you have a marriage that is thriving or one that is in trouble, I believe all married couples and even those looking to get married should read. The acronym PLEDGE tells the steps to take for healthy communication: Pause, Listen, Echo, Disarm, Give, Engage.

So if you are looking for a book that dives into what healthy communication in a marriage should look like, check out this book for yourself.

I received a copy of this book for my fair and honest review.

[Jason Day · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oelze presents a good communication tool for conflict. Nothing earth-shaking except for the emphasis on freely giving a listening ear and not demanding a return. That is what stumped me at first about his process. But I see the wisdom in it even if it is uncomfortable to be willing to listen to my spouse (or whomever) without requiring they listen back. It is a gift too infrequently given.

The story of Jake and Lisa working through the process is well done. Easy read. I think this could be a real help to couples struggling with how to communicate without automatically going into a war. But that couple will really need Jesus’ help to do this. It feels like a super-human task to lay down my rights and wants and defenses and just listen.

[Margi Nisly · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really appreciated the content of this book! I think the idea of structuring conflict is very helpful. I also felt like the case study story to follow was very engaging. I related to the couple really well! I would have liked more information on the Disarming section. But an excellent read that I would recommend to friends!

[Chris Greenlee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Like most of us, the older I get the more I appreciate good conversation. Communication is such a vital part of our lives and relationships, yet I am surprised how little we discuss the concept of communication. This book lays out an easy to follow process of how to communicate; especially when tension or conflict arises. I first heard about PLEDGE at a non-profit where Mark was the guest speaker. I recognized the wisdom in his message and desired to know more, so I read this book. Now, PLEDGE has become part of me and all my relationships are benefitting. I highly recommend this book to anyone desiring to improve their communication or anyone struggling with conflict as there is a path towards healthy relationships that is highlighted with PLEDGE.