Tristimania: A Diary of Manic Depression

by Jay Griffiths

A stark and lyrical account of the psyche in crisis from the author of KithTristimania tells the story of a devastating year-long episode of manic depression, culminating in a long solo pilgrimage across Spain. Recording the experience of mania as has rarely been done before, Jay Griffiths shows how the condition is at once terrifying and also profoundly creative, both tricking and treating the psyche. An intimate and raw journey, Tristimania illuminates something of the universal human spirit.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Mental Health, Psychology, Biography, Mental Illness, Poetry

224 pages, Hardcover

First published July 12, 2016

About the author

Jay Griffiths was born in Manchester and studied English Literature at Oxford University. She spent a couple of years living in a shed on the outskirts of Epping Forest and has travelled the world, but for many years she has been based in Wales.

Reviews

[Angie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Bits of this were sublime, but I had to skim about 60 pages in the middle because it got so repetitive and relatively uninformative at the same time, discussing why Mercury/Hermes is the god of manic depression. It's not an uninteresting line of thought, but far fewer pages on the topic would have sufficed. I was attracted to this book precisely because it promised heavy use of metaphor to describe the illness and the author's experiences, but in general, and in that section in particular, it could have used a good deal more editing...the metaphors just went on and on; some of them were great, others a bit flimsy, too abstract, repetitive, etc. I was also unimpressed by the poems at the end, but I am notoriously picky about poetry, which is a notoriously subjective medium in any case...and she did explain her reasons for including them, and others will no doubt find them poignant.

[Lola May · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s crazy that I had a manic episode, became obsessed with orpheus and Eurydice and then walked the Camino and I’m not alone in that loooool. Anyway. Get me back following those shells. And buen Camino, peregrino

Some highlights:

“The path is laid within us – while we are also inlaid into the path. All the pilgrims who have ever walked the Camino have created it of themselves; our feet have made the paths, our hands have touched the rocks, our boots have carved the holloways deeper into the earth. How much does the pilgrim make the path and the path the pilgrim?”

“Once I had decided to do it, the wish overtook me and I felt driven by a need at once stubborn and ethereal. I”

“I felt that for this particular medicine to work I had to go solo.”

“Many of the characters I met on the Camino seemed to have stepped out of the realm of stories.”

🐚 ☀️ 🥾

[Joanna Halpin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is so beautifully written. Griffiths prose style is unique, her voice is unwavering. There is so much light in this book, which comes from the way she weaves nature, poetry, history into every finely tuned sentence.This is the kind of book that should be read in short bursts because no word is wasted.

[Sian Lile-Pastore · Rating 4 out of 5]

i really love the way Jay Griffiths writes and she always brings so much more to her books than just the topic in hand. like others, tho, I did find that the middle section about Mercury and Tricksters was a little long and preferred it when it was more of her personal story. gave me a great insight into living with bipolar as well.

[Lara · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book paints an incredibly vivid picture of Jay Griffiths experince with bipolar disorder or tristimania. It describes the thrill and ecstacy of the highs of mania as well as the devastating lonelyness and agony of depression in a gripping way. The use of the many metaphors makes you feel as if you can understand even just a small part of what living with this illness feels like. I really liked the language of this book. However sometimes the use of metaphors becomes excessive and way too abstract for my taste and the middle portion of the book is hard to get through. The comparison with bipolar disorder and Mercury seems a little absurd.
Also the author writes a lot about the insight and creativity mania brought her and even refuses to take medication so she can get those insights which I think is incredibly dangerous and maybe even reckless to write about seeing as it could inspire others to do the same.
Overall I still really liked this book and I think it offers a unique and deeply personal insight into Jay Griffiths personal experience with her mental illness.

[El Bottomley · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5
Really loved this book, spent 30minutes divulging all my thoughts onto unsuspecting Rudh last night. The more I spoke the more I realised I had taken a lot away from this book.

Would have been 5 stars but I did have to slog through the middle 50pages.

If anyone wants to waste 45 mins of their day ask me about the poems at the end of the book.

[Alexandra · Rating 3 out of 5]

Tristimania by Jay Griffiths is a half diary, half factual book on manic-depression. She describes her experiences with the condition and cites one breakdown in particular that lasted three months and forced her to confront herself on the El Camino de Santiago. Between recounting this experience, Griffiths tells the history and mythological background of manic-depression.

It was pretty good. There was a sixty page middle where Griffiths goes on and on about mythology of Hermes, the messenger God, and his relationship to manic-depression - and it was not what I wanted to read. I ended up skipping it, hoping that the remainder of the book wouldn’t change into what that was. I wasn’t disappointed with the rest, as she returned to her personal account of manic-depression and began her journey to El Camino.

I felt like I understood the condition more by the time I finished reading. Griffiths made a great attempt to break the wall that is the mind between two individuals. As someone who has not suffered through such a state of mind as Griffiths has suffered, I was glad to read this and come to a better understanding about bi-polar disorder.

[Loki · Rating 3 out of 5]

It definitely had the potential to be great, and perhaps touched on it occasionally. She fumbled in the dark, drawing comparisons that shouldn't be drawn, for the sake of wordplay. I suppose it was a very accurate depiction of the manic mind, because that's how it felt. And she modulated the tone in the subsequent depression. I wish that part of the book was longer, because the middle seems to be taken up by an unneccessary spiel on Mercury, the mercurial, Hermes, trickster-gods, and so on - which could have been interesting, but ended up masturbatory. Despite its faults, it affected me - it was difficult to read in parts because of the emotional turmoil. She doesn't dance around suicide. She does it justice. A worthwhile read.

[Alex · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book. It made the extreme effort of communicating the way one thinks seem effortless, even with the added extremity of mental illness. It was more than I expected by far, and a beautiful, compelling book. I'm so glad I read it - I needed to get into someone else's head this week.

[Aylin · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was definitely beautifully written. But for the fact that the author said we shouldn't romantise mental health illnesses, she sure spend a lot of time describing Mercury in the most romantic ways.
And I know that that is probably just the way she could best express her feelings towards her illness and this ain't a self help book still...

[Pansy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Manic depression is in my wheelhouse so I had high hopes for this one. There were some essential truths about bipolar and what a breakdown feels like, but I got tired of what felt like heavy-handed intellectualization and overly elaborate metaphors. Or perhaps I lack literary sensibility.

[Laura Cooper · Rating 4 out of 5]

Review forthcoming

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beautiful writing

“There is an increased risk of manic symptoms when they have achieved an important goal” page 6

“Scraps of paper, shopping lists, odd reminders ... all were nervously guarded” p49

“Became violently lonely ..not because I lacked company but because I became fussy as a cat over who I could be with and when”

“But it seems to me that people who feel suicidal do not need to talk so much as to listen, because they need to hear a voice stronger than the siren voice of suicide”. In the terrifying abyss people need less a listening ear and more a speaking voice of wellness clarity and confidence and strength.”

(Your friends need you, what about your family, your work needs you, staying alive is a sacred duty - slow careful practical instructions- stay in phone til take medicine, go to sleep, call in morning)

“Andy said I didn’t sound right. I read a crucial suicide clue is the voice: the time to worry seriously is when someone is speaking in an utterly flat tone, a hollow monotone without intonation” p136

In mania gifting can become problematic
“One person I know kicks off an episode o manic depression by buying rounds of drinks, giving and giving until he is broke”

“Seeking connection with others many with bipolar read memoirs of fellow manic depressives to find companionship across the world and centuries”. P110

“Yale university study by Paul B Lieberman and John S Strauss suggested a trigger for people’s manias was “the enforced pursuit of an activity that was at odds with their own goals and aspirations” p128

[Juliano · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jay Griffiths' 'Tristimania', a diary of manic depression that I bought in the late summer of 2016 and continually put off reading for fear that I wasn't emotionally ready to read it. But I soldiered on and am so glad I did: this book is as shining and stunning and stellar as its glorious glittering cover suggests, taking you through the highs and lows not just of Jay Griffiths' particularly bad time but of highs and lows in general, as concepts and words and historical facets, through religion and legends, literature and pop culture, woven together through the personal journey and connected by the shared experience of being set upon by the Trickster. Aside from the crisp writing, melodic in places without ever straying from frankness, and the hard-hitting 'Artist-Assassin' poems at the end, for me this book has become one of my favourites for its personal resonances, for the way it has taught me so much about others and myself, the way it is like a bright yellow raft in a sea of dark that insists upon an infinity of tomorrows that may well be better than today. Whether flying or falling, the struggle is lessened in unity, in knowing that there are others out there flying and falling and carrying on living. This book offers the most profound acceptance of illness, acknowledging life and bipolarity and the Beckettian condition: "I can't go on, I'll go on."

[Sheriann · Rating 4 out of 5]

I won this book on a Goodreads giveaway! I love reading about Psychology and this book was right up my alley. It is the type of book that makes you think and re-read sentences just to ponder them.

For example, Griffiths describes madness as "...a way of seeing aligned to the shadow rather than the object which casts it." (p. 54) I was facinated by the way the author described her plight. She was both honest and fearless.

Griffiths makes a to do list:

put bins out
do laundry
don't kill myself
buy cat food

She realized she had to "...stop counting the long list of things I couldn't do and start instead with the short list of what I could." (p. 151)

I would recommend this book to anyone who either suffers from Bi-Polar disorder, or wants to know more about it. I am empathetic to those who deal with these challanges.

[Claudia Hussain · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed the writing in this book immensely, how is it that people who suffer from manic-depression are so poetic and can write so beautifully about something so painful. The 'story' of her year is incredibly powerful and gives real insight into the state of mind of someone going through this.

However, I did also get rather bogged down with the long section about Mercury and metaphor and nearly didn't continue to the end. It all seemed rather repetitive and unnecessary. Also, I am not a big fan of actual poetry so I found the final selection of poems a bit tough going.

I did love the way she and her long-suffering doctor had such an amazing relationship. If only we could all have such understanding GPs!

All in all I would recommend this book but not to everyone

[Claire Bracegirdle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this partly harrowing, partly enlightening, and partly - the middle section, about Mercury and Shakespeare - a bit difficult to get through. But I love Jay Griffiths' prose! And there are some sublime passages. I also loved (and related to, very much) her writing on metaphor and mental illness -

'When a person is ill, a metaphor is not a decoration, not a trivial curlicue of Eng. Lit., not a doily on the conversational table; rather it is a desperate attempt to send out an SOS, to give the listener their coordinates, because they are losing themselves. I am on Cader idris, just before the first peak after the path leaves the lake: do you read me? Over. The perilous geography where my psyche was situated. Situated but dis-located, alone and pathless. I had to be meticulously precise in giving the latitude of my madness, the longitude of my scraps of insight. I was lost and urgently needed to be found, to be located by someone who could (as shamans say) send their souls to find mine. In terms of our culture, one way of doing this is surprisingly simple: listeners need to hear the metaphors and stay with them.'

Oh, and this -

'In Dante’s time, books were bought in apothecary shops; literature sold as medicine.'

[Rhodri · Rating 5 out of 5]

articulate and poetic, courageous and outrageous. this book rises to the challenge of writing with such undogmatic clarity about a profound component of the human condition. jay wields personal experience like alchemical prima materia, diligently tracing the thread through the tangle, yielding a rhizomatic wonder that doesn't seek for any totalizing, final understanding of the terrain she is thrust into. a gorgeous act of compassion that is also a real page-turner.

[Richard Trapunski · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is kind of all over the place. It's a mental health memoir AND an academic study of literary criticism AND a travelogue AND a collection of poetry. The parts that really hit are the first-person recollections of a year-long bipolar episode - gripping and mind-expanding. The highs are so high that it makes it more frustrating to endure the other parts.

[Kaytea Ferguson · Rating 3 out of 5]

I appreciated this book.

The account that Griffiths gives in regards to their bipolar disorder strays from the scientific and really focuses on their own experience.

It gets VERY metaphorical in the middle but there were many parts where they described a feeling, or situation that seemed eerily intimate and relatable.

[Peter · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wonderfully dense clever and erudite. Perhaps too much so. I really understood ( felt) the last portion and read it eagerly. The first two thirds were more of a slog. I learned a great deal from the book and feel even more thankful for the genes I inherited.

[Teresa Silva · Rating 2 out of 5]

Way too repetitive. I had to skip parts of it, as they were tiring and already done before.

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wonderful insight into a manic episode and for that reason it is difficult to get through.

[Gail Kennon]

i don't know how i feel about his overall..it was interesting in parts but i find her hard to be with while at the same time getting caught up in her words.

[Anki · Rating 4 out of 5]

A glimpse into mental illness and vulnerably written.

[Dzakwan Arkan · Rating 4 out of 5]

dark, poetic, raw and honest

[Lucy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm going to hold off reviewing this whilst I process it all. I finished this book this evening after starting to read it back in November in preparation for a course that Jay was running at Arvon. I've found it a fascinating read, loads of ideas to take on board. So many things she right were seeing parts of myself, but also helped me understand parts of her manic depression that I've thankfully never experienced, but painted a much clearer picture in my mind of what it must be like. Parts of it were challenging to read as Jay is so literary in the way she writes and finds connections in everything, but it's certainly one of those books where I have come away with both enjoyment, interest and knowledge.

I think I'd give it 4.5 our of 5, but you can't give half points unfortunately. I will ponder a little longer before I review.

I would definitely recommend this to anyone who wants to better understand manic depression and who likes going on a journey both of the mind and physical.

[Kayleigh Collett · Rating 5 out of 5]

My copy of this book has so many pages with turned over corners, marking the many sections that spoke to me deeply.

I am thankful for this book. It helped me to gently realise through its descriptions what I experienced for a brief period after my first child was born, although didn’t realise it at the time.

I am thankful too for for reading some of the reviews on Goodreads. The book is written in 5 parts and reading that some of them where a bit heavy allowed me to bookmark them and come back to them later, where I otherwise might have got stuck and not finished the book. I wouldn’t change the book though…. The prose perfectly matches the subject matter. The relentless pages of interconnected thoughts with no clear narrative describes perfectly the depth of a manic episode. And it makes a perfect the contrast with the clearer narrative of Jay’s slow journey to recovery.

[Helen · Rating 4 out of 5]

About an episode of mental illness. "Tristimania" is her word for what we are now told to call bipolar rather than manic depression; the author prefers manic depression, which better expresses the difference between the two states, "up" and "down". Illuminating section on Shakespeare which struck a lot of chords. Honest and enlightening, although it's difficult for someone who has never had this experience (only observed it in others) to grasp. The poems at the end are the ones she wrote during the episode and are explained in the text. A lovely book. Oh, and where exactly in Wales does she live? Her GP sounds fantastic!

[Helen Lehndorf · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am such a huge fan of Jay Griffiths, have listed her as my favourite writer for years and am sticking to that...but this was a bit disappointing. Repetitive, bloody-minded and at times, irritating...however, also at times sublime, wickedly-funny, inspired...but it seemed to have been written in haste and not edited well-enough. Her walk of the Camino seemed so at odds with her mental state, how could her friends/family/community LET her do it alone when she was so unwell/vulnerable?

It has by no means changed my opinion of JG's genius, but my expectations for her are very high and this didn't meet them...